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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1901-08-23, Page 71901 - - who- oftener kola atud use ev due- haste.. aeeerYg tPen the summit kn to pereeede yoi; ; of the height b; thorter veva. IL e his boat into Lae ilt soon find hil'ea. of failure. LIFE erers Prom pepsin., le Life of its le - ale -Causes Head ion Dizziness, , and a Diseeete cad," Sa Jerome, - le or bad digestion ry. Alnatiet daily lining of the to. malady, and it it a a sufferer *ay t and. no wonder, d digestion cannot lo has not suffered conztaat sufferer ro, heart palpilae it a bad taste in: tithe restful sleep, a weariness and a -sure cure for Utile le the greatest of >re Willierne Pink been cured of this tr. Williams' Pink. ets e well-known, rime, Quebec To , du Nord,' Mr. t story of his M- ae For three continual eufferer digestion. After eavy weight was t. I was racked my temper became earths ; rny nerves I always troubled` _ I was able to- arestimes none at ny remedies I wee, tor e. cure until a. ar. Williams' Pink ; have had Eta to tbe soon dispelled, for hem long before I a my condition. pills emit° weeks fully cured. To. I was in my life, 3- all similar suffer - Pink Pilia, and d them as benefie- • oure by going to They make new,. a the nerve, and- atem. Sold by all ; Bent by mail post Or six boxes for ar Williams' Medi- -- rishness. evidently not told ignity ; but as ae, rsat man wh6.1ovea her fun, it eoula trooklyn Hine, L. an he was a small house, cautioning ; he _gaiet and not with which Mrs.. rIab edolatione of hen any such co - ars promised to be arecher arrived to seys, and found no [aura -looking boys, me into his eyes as 4 hosts to prepare ve mustn't romp,"` tor of philosophy. nsibility," replie& ird the house cm eetions of a small ition at this un- ittle republic, she th words of rebuke petrified. Henry m, his -back on the log Indians appar- ance on his pros - shrill yells. The ,ediately froze into e• rebels except the e to his feet, the d : nised my triends ensibility for this. reached the hair - her with a Ches. eady to take what - nay begin at once.' an infraction at tusehold that Wee m went =spanked.. quer Cane. - year between MVO' e ed cheque drawn lm has been settled the cheque WO to bear the Iowa an artful schemer pg accepted for th Payment of this,- enother bank than a, and then psid le discovery of Ow tat the toss ought eh first musheel the , from $5 to WO , - which the °begat> nally decided that cheque did se ha anent, and that freed or had 1101- hether the cheque acceptance mark wait drawn, this- gri.rd as a parse - toed for ite tam after being eci sal ted before being nother bank, the nild be seriously rule isimpractia- very ingeniously no blame attache* the cheque. The aura and eiraitlat t to suffer from: d on precedente aot on the bank ler the falsified ;sinews, but on the' nent was dravne, • eccepted befere perpetrated. [tage° which our raagt stage of us. , • aCellfitOilled ed, tried to oat ner the score of Snake the pride or nage how yea ada- . ire gly' putting fa pocket. _ sir," replied b33: • CIAB ib aS FRS it and cats it 1 AUGUST 23, 1901. lasysfaw''' THE HURON EXPOSITOR, Wit and Wisdom. --There al many a good. wife who cen neither sing nor dance. -Marry in haste and let your father -in- to repent at leisure. -probably it is because the earth is -rand that so few people act on the square. -A queer thing about debts is that they do not grow smaller as they are contracted. .This is the season of the year when you an get what you don't want real cheap. -Little girl (to visitor)-" Den't you think I look juist like mamma ?" Mother - ti Flush, dear ; den% be vain." .-Ete---" What month is it in -which it is unlucky to be married ?" She-" Goodness we What'a poor memory you have, my dear." --Mrs. Crabehaw-" go home .to my mother at once." Crabethaw-" I wish you would. Here's the money." Mrs. Crab. seew-" But that isn't enough, my dear, -tor a return ticket." -Sid (who has been trying to open the larder door)-" It's no good, Tom. Not one of the keys will fit." Tommy-" Well, then, alt we can do is to wait until mamma comes home, and ask her for something for being good boys." - -When people treat you ill, and show their spite, and slander you, enter into their little souls, go to the bottom of them, enrols their understandings ; and you will soon see that nothing they may Clink or say et you need give you one troublesome thought. -A few years ago, at Millport, while a concert was in progress, the Earl of Glas- gow, with a party from the garrison, enter. .ed the hall. The chairman immediately rose, and fairly convulsed the audience when in stentorian tones he shouted : "Three cheers for the lord o' the manure:" -An Irishman who had a pig in his posseasion was observed to adopt the con - :ABM practice of filling it to repletion one day and starving it the next. Oa being asked his reason for doing so, he replied : •" Ooh, sure, an' isn't it that like to have bacon with a striate o' fat and a atrake o' `lane rqually-one after t'other." -Johnny D—, a little fellow about ten years of age, was returning from a show where he had entered one of his pets for competition, when he was accosted by a few friends whom he met on the road. "Hullos, Johnnie," said one. "Have you got a prize ?" " No" replied Johnnie, but I cam' gay neaa' wis very highly con- demned.' -A young minieter who did not scruple to fish for compliments was once invited to take dinner with a rather reticent elder. Turn the conversation as he would, the young man could not get his host to say sermon," and at last he boldly introduced the important subject by -remarking direct- ly "That was a fine text I had to.day." Bat the elder knew his man. " Ou, ay," he replied cautiously, "there was naething wrang wi' the text.' -A Cupar man, the proud father of a fine boy, recently had his night's rest broken by the music of his offspring, " Eh, it's a brew bairn, Maggie," said he to his wife, "but just a wee bit noisy," "Non- sense," was the reply, " all babies are like that when they're cutting their teeth. The father was silent for a few minutes, then when a lull in the crying gave him an op. portunity, said, with a sigh, " Losh, but it's a whie diepensation that babbies don't grow tusks, eh, Maggie." • The Pain of Sore Feet. Just about the moat tantalizing of all pains comes from sore feet. To get relief, bathe the feet in warm water and then rub them with Poison's Norville°. It penetrates through the pores of the skin, takes out the soreness, reduces swellings, invigeratea the tired muscles, tones up the circulation, and prevents the feet from becoming sore again. Nerviline is a proteetion and safe -guard against the pains and aches of the entire family, and cures rheumatism, neuralgia, toothache, etc. For sale at; Fear's drug store, Seaforth. Price 25 cents. • A Well Posted Witness. Judge-" Now, my boy, you are on your oath. Do you understand what that means" Witness-" Why-er-I don't jester -reck- on!, Judge-" Do you kaow what you're ex- pected to tell ?" Witness-" Oh, yes ; the lawyer that brought me here wrote it all down Bo's I could study it." • From a Man's Standpoint. A wife rarely keeps a husband poor that Would hs.ve been rich any other way. Women live for admiration, but men die ,. without it. When a woman's in love, she thinks ther's no other man in the world, when a man's in love he thinks the same thing. The bachelor has one great advantage over a married man; he can still get mar- ried. A woman may have less logie than a man, but what little she does have is generally More so. Never trust a Woman with a secret. The curiosity of her husband is sure to get it out of her. Just when a man's wrest that _a woman never hits anything she aims at, along comes some blushing young thing and mar - ran him. • Putnain's Painless Corn and Wart Extraotor. Is the °eat, remedy that poratively cures cows and warts without pain in twenty-four hours. Aele Your druggiet about it, he has eold it for a fon time. Club any druggist who offers you a substitute for Putnam's Painless Corn Extractor. He knows it is the best ; yau will too if you try it. The .Scot Abroad. I was talking to a Russian -a coamopoli- tan in his direct knowledge of all the lands and periples on the face of the globe -about the yellow question and race competition. He said if the English business houses only employ Scotch travellers at low fixed sal- aries and high percentages on orders ob- tained, they will hold the markets. He bad often watched Scotch agents at work in China. They were not good linguists, but always know enough to make themselves understood, and to be able to be understand rebuffs and turn a deaf ear to them. Jews could do nothing'where Scots did well. They had more patience than Americans and were just as shrewd. An American got fired or reatIess and went off. A Scot stood his ground and succeeded. This Russian thought the Scotch the moat brainy race he knew. There was no race that eould live on so little. Their not being the slaves of their stomachs gave them the advantage of the Engliah and of the Americans, who must lutve their "Near° " meals, as at their own hotels and bearding houses. • ANXIOUS MOTHERS find DR. LOW'S WORM BYRUP the beet modloine to expel worms. Children it—wornes don't. • The Debt of Honor. Every son, when he goes away from home, carries with him the honor of the h.oms to which he belongs, and he may either exclharage or dissipate it, says Dr. Stalker, in the Christian World Pulpit. If he don well, his succese is doubled, for it is net only an ornament to himself, but dt crown of honor to his parents. There Ls ,nothing in the world more touching than the pride ot a father over a eon's einmess. Many student, in the rivalries of academic life„ is thinking about this more than any- thing else, andemthe day when he is being appleuded by hundreds he is thinking 41111•1111111111111•1111111111111111M1111111111MIRINIMM. IP" Trips for Diamonds/ Many of our out of -town patrons find, when needing diamonds, that they more than save the expense- of their trip by visiting us. '9 We carry by far the largest stock of diamonds in Canada, and our prices streamed° possible only by personal selection from the cutters in Amsterdam, and consequent saving of all middle- men's profits. SSSSS If you cannot come to us we can come to you by mail through our Catalogue. -Try it once and be convinced. RYRIE BROS.1.- COR. YONGE AND ADELAIDE I STREETS, TORONTO. ate chiefly of heartsfaraway that are glorify- ing in his success. Oa the field of battle this has often been the inspiration of cour- age, and in the battles of life in a city like this there are multitudes doing their beet, living laborious days, shaking off the temp- ter, and keeping straight in the middle of the narrow wae, for the sake of those far off, whose hearts will be cheered by their well -doing and would be broken "by their ill -doing, I do not think there is a sight more touching -certainly there is not one that touches me more -than a youth, who has been away .in another city, or- foreign land, and bears in his face and. de- meanor tokens of his well doing, comes back seme Sabbath to the church in which his boyhood has been spent, and site again side by side with thee proud hearts that love him. Where is there a disappoint. merit so keen'or a disgrace so poignant, as he inflicts who comes not back because he dare not, having in the foreign land or in the distant city soiled his good name, and rolled the honor of his home in the dost? - • REGULAR ACTION of the bowels is neceesary to health. LAXA.LIVER PILLS are the beet owes. ional cathartic for family or general use. Price 260. Any druggist. Etiquette. Verdant Green-" If a gentleman meets a lady of his acquaintance and she does not notice him, should he lift his hat ?" " If it relieves his feelings to cool his head it will not fleet the lady." On what ()nation does a gentleman wear gloves in summer ?" " Personally, we only do it when taking down stovepipes. or reviewing a novel by Richard le Gellienne." " What ehould a girl do when a man who is not engaged to her kiseus her ?" " Become engaged to hiin 011 the spot." Over Polite. Mark Twain tells of an incideet which happened in one of his moat comical ad- dresses to quite a largeeiudience in a coma. try town, where he had exerted himself to the utmost, but had utterly failed to start an audible smile. He had fithilly olosed with the impression that he meat have been a failure. As the audience was leaving one of the gentlemen :gone up to him and said : " Mr. Twain, we enjoyed your address very much ; it was extremely intereeting, but do you know there were two or three times during the evening I had just all I could do to keep from bursting out laugh- ing, same of your remarks were se funny." You Prevent Hay Fever, or . Cure It in a 'prompt, pleasant and effective way, by inhaling the germ -killing, throat and lung healing Cetarrhozone. Delightful to use, simple in its operation, free from stomach neuseating, and destroying substances. It is a marvel of scientific efficacy. Catarrh; ozone kills the germs that excite the disease, heals tho inflamed surfaces, and prevents absolutely a recurrence of the malady. Catarrhozone cannot fail to cure Hay Fever because it destroys ite cause. Sold by I. V. Fear, the druggist, Seaforth, or mailed to your addreas for $1,00 if forwarded to Poi, son & Co., Kingston; Ont. [_ et . Raising the Fee. In that particular year it happened that the national political convention of which we are speaking was held in tome other town than Chicago and the place was crowded. This Is how it came to pees that Colonel Hankthunder, who went merely as a prom. inent citizen of the Republic and had not taken the precaution to engage a room be- forehand, found himself shut out of hotel. and compelled to choose lodgings front a list of eligible private dwellinge. The woman of the house near the corner, Fish street and Potato avenue, the first residence at which he called, showed him the only room she had to epare. "That Emits me, ma'am," he said: " How much will it cost me for board and lodging here for the next four days ?" "Weil," she ateswered, "-this is not a reg- ular boarding house, and 1 am only taking boarcers because I want to educate my boy for a lawyer. I shall have to charge you $6 for the four days." " Madam." loftily rejoined the colonel, taking out his pocketbook, "you will ne er educate your boy for a lawyer by giv ng him such an example, as that. I will ay you $10." ' American Sight Bad. "There are more 'people with defect ve eyesight in Ametioa than in Great Brit in or Ireland," says a naturalized New Yorker, Who served in the British army when he es a young man, add who is now an opticiar. "in the British army you will fled a dozen men with exceptionally ,good eyesight for one you will find in the American army. , I account for the standard of eyesight being batter in the old country than in America," says the same expert, 4 4 principally because of the grey aides there. There are so f..w sunny days in Great Britain and Iceland that the eyes are net subjected to the same strain as in America, wh re there is a far greater proportion of Ben y days." a Millionaire Yerke' First Trade. Charles T. Y. erkes, ttjv Chicago street railway magnate, who is ow building elec- tric lines in London, allotted early appreei- salon of the theory of buy'ng and selling to advantage. He tells how as a boy, he fre- quented a ealearoom near his home. "One day," said Mr. Yerkes, "1 noticed several boxes of soap of a certain breed which I had often been sent to buy at tire corner grocery. I thought to myself 'That will go cheap,' so I straightway ran to the Corner grocery, and after drawing from the grocer a promises to pay a certain price for as many boxes of that soap as 1 could furnish (he, of couree, never, dreaming I would supply them), I returned to the salesroom. A box of the soap was about to be knocked down to the highest bidder when I celled out from my corner anoOter bid. The box was declared sold to me and my name demand- ed, 'Charles T. A erkes, junior,' I piped out in a shrill voice -I was only 11 years old. The bystanders wero amused, but their laughter gave place to amazement; when I bid in the entire lot of 22 boxes. • I promptly delivered them to the corner grocery and received the price agreed upon," • . Sat on His Luncheon. One of the farmer associates of ex•Presi- dent Harrison when he was a member of the Senate from Indiana, when speaking of the old days at Waehington, the otter day, said : "General Harrison is one of the etrongest, soundest, ablest men we have ever had in public life. He has always been reserved and ia rather handicapped by an unresponsive, cold manner. Why, I remember--" and here the senator began to chuckle to himself and the whole table leaned forward, full of expeataticn. The senator went on : " When Harrison was in the Senate he always used to bring bis luncheon to the committee room. He carried it in his coat pocket and would eatit while he -went on with his work. One day when he got it out as usuel, from his pocket, we saw him look it all over ruefully, and it did look rather flat'and dubious. He finally remarked- to us that he gues ed he must have sat on it ,) accidentally, pie of his colleagues, one who had recerelel 1_ been ignored by Har- rison, spoke up i impulsively : " Well, by Jove, Hartison,' if you've sat on it, I'll bet you a stxpenee :;it's frozen solid,' and of course a shout went Up from the whole corn- mittee." • "How did he take it?" was asked when the merriment had died away. "Oh," returned the senator' " he joined in the laugh. It was too good a one on him, and he had to unbend." . 1 • 'Declined. ' A young man of more book learning than force of character lost the young wife who had toiled to support him, returned to his native town for consolation and found it. Some months later she, too, passed away, and the sad youth soon appealed to a well- known clergymen for assistance in finding helpmate. - 1 ; The minister introduced him to a, western girl of health aid energy,who the next day received a plaintive note from the widower. He declared that the Lord had made great inroads upon his marital affections, and it now seemed to be His will that she should repair the breitehes of his past life. The reply, Which the clergyman keeps ta-day as ono of the choicest specimens of a varied collectioe, reads simply : " Mend your own areeches. • ATHLETES, BICYCLISTS and c.theee should al. ways keep HAGYARD'S YELLOW GIL on hand' Nothing like it f 3r etiffness and Soreness of the mus. cies, sprains, Wigan, cuts, etc. A clean preparatim, will- not stain clothing. Price 25a. --0-4134.--- Backache, ei leache, swelling of feet and ankles pusliag under the eyes,frequat thirst,esaetv%elaudy, thick, highly colarad urine. Frequent uriaa.tim, burning et nation when urinating. Any of the above symptoms leads to Bright's die - e lee, dropsy, diabeiles, etc. - /.7a0...`s* ;1 , Don's Kidney Pills are a 6ure cure for all kidney d iseeses. TO MAKE MONEY it Is yeaeseary t) have a clear, bright braie, a 'no] head free from pain, ani strorw vigorous nerve3. Milburn'e Heart and Nen e Pills invigorate and brighten the brbio, etrengtten the nerves, and rernOve all bort, ne:ve arid brain trouble. If you take a Laxa-Liver Pill tonight, bears re• It will work while you ale p, without a grlpe or pain, curing billousneis, contipatIon, dyepepsit, and el& headeche, and make yau fe31 bet;er in the morning. PASSED 15 WORMS. I gaN e Dr. 1.1v, 's Worm Syrup t my li rtIe g i rl two.anti-khalf yeses old ; the rebut was that she passed 15 worma in live dap,. Mre. B. Roy, Kluntnagh, Ont. A Red Hot Season. During the hot summer sea• -on the bleod gets over, heated, the drain on the system is were and the ap. petite is often lost. Burdock Blood Bitters purities and invigorates the blood, tones up the system, and re ores lost &pre ite. Where Living is Cheap. The cheapness of living in Australia i proverbial ; the land is a veritable poor man's paradiee. In fhe butchers' Idiom you see meat for sale at two pence and four pence a pound, and provisions of local pro- duction ,are equally inexpensive. In the ooffee-houses-a great feature of towa life there -you can get a good meal, consisting of a steak or ohop, bread and butter and tea, for six pence. There are no tips for waiters in the antipodes. The Colonials are great tea drinkers, and often partake of the cheering herb seven times a day. Boarding houses -another prominent feature -are rendered almoet essential in a land where the domestic servants command a wage of a pound a week, with frequent evenings out, and permiesion to practise on the piano and keep a bicycle. • Before And After. A little girl had a great desire to jeirethe ehurcili ; consequently she went to the Min- ister, asking to be received into the church. He inquired if she had experienced a change of heart, and she answered affirmatively. The minister inquired further, "Were you a ;ginner before ? ' "Yes." 4' Are you a sinner now ?" Again she answered, "Yea," "Where, then'is the difference between your former and your present condition." After some moments' meditation she said : " Before I was converted to Christ I was a sinner that runs after sin ; now I am a sin- ner that -runs away from sin." -Mission Friend. He Had An Ear Mark. After hearing evidence in an assault case between man and wife, in which the wife had had a deal' of provocation, the magis- trate, turning to the husband remarked : "My good man. I really cannot do any- thing in the case." "But she has cut ft piece of my ear off, "Well," said the magistrate, "I will bind her over to keep the peace." "You can't," shouted the husband, "she's thrown it away l" The Wrong End. An aged gray headed negro, mounted bareback upon an equally ancient looking mule, whose ears flopped abjeotedly at every step, was laboriously steering hie weatherbeaten steed through the streets of an Arkansas- town, when coming opposite the postoffice, he deoided to stop and en- quire for mail. After some manoeuvres resembling those of a sidewheel stammer, 'the old negro got the mule turned around and headed for a telephone post, but at this juncture progress was abruptly terminated by a dead balk on the part of the mule ; with ears rigidly pointed ferwerd at the telephone post, he tilted farther and farther MARRIAGE LICENSES ISSUED' AT THE HURON EXPOSITOR OFFICE, SEAFORTH, ONTARIO. NO WITNESSES REQUIRED, back at each dig of the negros bare heels in his sides, until his legs stood ata perilous angle, and finally began to back. A group of men standing in the doorway of a store oppoeite saw the difficulty, and one of them, a prominent lawyer, called out: "Say, old man, you'll get there quicker if you lead him the other way." " Dat's all right, boas," was the ready -answer' spoken in all sincerity and gravity ; "but die id de end what I wants to hitch." And the old negro resumed his argument with the mule. • When It Is Missed. The other night at a eupper a lawyer propounded this conundrum to a brother limb of the law; "What's the difference between a fog and a lawyer?" His learned friend gave it up, whereat amidst the roars of laughter from the gentlemen assembled, the propounder openly replied, "Why one's mist on earth and the other's missed in Heaven !" • Our Leisure Hours. A. boy was employed in a lawyer's office, and he had the daily papers with which to amuse himself. He began to study French, and became a fluent reader and writer of the language. He accomplished thie by laying aside the newspaper and taking up something not so amusing, but far more profitable. A coachman was often obliged to wait long hours while his mistress made calls. He determined to improve the time. He found a small volume containing the writ. ings of Virgil, but could not read it ; so he purchased a Letin grammar. Day after day he studied this, and finally mastered its intricacies. His mistress came up behind himrne day as he stood by the horses waie- ing or her, and asked him what he was so inteetly reading. "Only a bit of Virgil ma'am." " What do you read Latin ?" she asked in surprise. a.; She mentioned this to her husband who ineisted that David should have a teacher to instruct him. In a short time David be- came a learned man, and was for many years a useful and beloved minister in Scot- land. A boy was told to open and shut the gates to let teams out of an iron mine, Sometimes an hour would pass before the teams came, and this he used so well that here was scarcely any tact in history that caped his attention. He began with a tis book on Engliah history, and having arned that thoroughly, he borrowed of a inister Goldsmith's " History of Greece." This good man became greatly interested in him and lent him books, and was often teen sitting beside him on the log conversing with him about the people of ancient times. • Bye it will pay you to use your leisure hours well. -Young Reaper. • News Notes. -Miss deseie Alackburn Christie, of the Customs Dalian -liana Ottawa, who wan eutre ried last week, to Mr. Parmelee, Deputy ' Minister of Trade and Commerce, was the only lady second-class °tertian the service, mad had a salary of $1,200 a year. -Chicago capitalists are negotiating for the construction of an electric railway from Woodstock to Stratford, -and from thence to Gederich, taking in Strathallen, Tavistock, Stratford, Sebringville, Mitchell, Seaforth, Clinton, and other intermediate pointe. The liee will be for both passengers and freight. .-The-steamer Humboldt arrived at Seat- tle from the Lynn Cabal, on Monday night of loet week, bringing 135 passengers and $500,000 in gold, $400,000 being consigned no the Seattle Assay Office and local banks, the remainder being owned bp persona on the steamer. -dr. Hugh Brown, a retired farmer, dropped 'dead at the residence of his on, in Hamilton, early Thursday morning of last week. He was in his usual good health when he arose, but while washing himself he fell backwards and died almost instantly. Heart failure was the cause of death, De- ceased Ives 80 years of age, and had resided -in tiii) vicinity for over half a century. -Rev. D. C. Hoseack, formerly pastor of Dunn avenue Preebyterian church, Toronto, who recently left the ministry to practise law in that city, is going to return to the_ ranks of the clergy again, and will accept tile call extended him to become pastor of Deer Park Presbyterian church in that city, vacated by the retirement of Rev. John Kay, to acaept oharge of the church at Nor- wich. -Hydrophobia is rampent in the town. ship of Pelham, Welland county, many farm animals having died, and many more being affected, and the Department of Agrioulture has ordered an expert to proceed to the die. triot and take the necessary measures to stamp out the malady. The disease was caused by a dog that bit several cattle and horses before it wee! destroyed. -Alfred Allisde, a well-known farmer, was fatally injured while working on his farm near °artiste, Wentworth county, 011 Monday afternoon of last week, and died about noon the following day. He was drawing mita when his team ran away, and he was thrown from the wagon, falling on his head. His skull was fractured, and he euffered from concussion, and lingered in an unconscious condition for nearly 24 hours, when death relieved his sufferings. -John Short, a farmer, 57 years of age, who lives a short distance from Drayton, Wellington county, while driving cows from a field was streak and instantly killed by the freight train whioh passes there every evening shortly before six o'clock, He leaves a widow and three children. -About ten:o'clock Wednesday morning two little girls, deughters of Mr. W. P. Graham, living about five miles weet of Tweed, aged respectively 13 and four years, were pleying with their brother's little rifle, when the eldett, not knowing it was loaded, pointed it at her little sister and said, " Look how bother fires hie gun !" She then discharged the weapon, shooting the younger girl through the neck, with fatal results. SOME SAYINGS. "That happened in the reign of !Queen Dick" is a ciecumlocution for "Never." "To take her down a peg" is nothing but a sailor's direction as to the lowering of the ship's colors. - To "have the gift of gab" means the gift of the (nee of the) mouth, "gab" be- ing the Scotch word for mouth. "Spick and span" comes from , the "spikes" andl"spanaers"-the hook* and stretchers foz' stretching cloth new from the loom. "Put that 1to your pipe and smoke it" is an nilusioli to the pipes of peaee or war that are solemnly smoked by some Indian tribes . To "dun" a man for debt comes from the memory of Joe Dun,. bailiff of Lin - cola, who was so keen a collector that his name has belome a proverb. To "get the agle" is a fate that some- times overtook inmates of a certain sul- tan's harem, who were put into a sack and thrown into the Bosporus when he desired to be rid of them. , - Deadhead, as denoting one who has free entrance to places of ainusement, comes from !Pompeii, where the checks for free admission were small lyory death's head; at Naples. Specimens of these are In the museu "By hook find by crook" is an allusion to an anciekt manorial custom which permitted the neighboriag poor to take all the wood that they could reach and pull down team the forest trees, using oily their shepherds' crooks. A RUSTY KEY. It Cleared Up a Forgotten Murder and Hanged the Murderer. "Small things sometimes tell big, tales and unravel mysteries of long standing," said an old detective who has seen long service in running down criminals in va- rious parts of the country. "The most singular case that ever fell under my care was a case in which a white man had been. Murdered in mysterious way, and the body was put away and all ef- forts to locate it were out of the ques- tion. Suspicion fell on a negro, and he was arrested, but subsequently was re- leased because of the absence of proof to connect him with the crime.. The body WaSand it was certain that the man had been murdered and robbed by some person familiar with the surround- ings. The negro had worked for him, buthad e. been discharged because of int- rid"Ten years lapsed. All interest in the crime had died out. One day some negro blackberry pickers came across a key which hung on the limb of a bush. Be- cause of the growth of the bush the han- dle of the key was partially buried. in the limb. Right under the bueh _the no - groes found the bleached and decaying bones of a human form. When the mat- ter was reported, I was sent out to in- vestigate the matter, and I gathered up the bones, cut the bush down and took everything to - the police station. We wont back over the tist of missing men. "There was a captain connected with the department who possessed a.wonder- ful memory, and he turned all of his at- tention to the rusty key, which was still In the limb of the bush. I ought to state here that the negro had remained in the community and had by his industry bought a few acres of land on which stood the house which had figured in the mysterious disappearance tea years be- fore. 'Cut that key out for me,' said the captain, and it was, cut out. • He had a consultation with the chief and, without telling me where -he was going, asked me to go with him. Iire traveled about four miles and. drove up to a little house late in the evening. There was nobody at home. 'I guess we might as well go in,' the captain said, and, pulling the key from his pock- et, he shoved it into the lock, turned it and opened the door. We waited for the negro after locking the door again, but he never returned, The house was watched all night, but the negro never came. We grew suspicious and soon learned that he had fled upon hearing of the discovery in the brier patch. Flight strengthened the evidence of his guilt. He was arrested in a neighboring state, returned, tried and convicted and finally executed. "The key which solved the myetery had got caught in a twig that sprung up in tho brier patch, and but for this fact the mystery would hove never been solved." A Guest Puzzler. In one of the old castles or northern England visitors are shown two rooms which are connected with each other by a singular mechanism. Each moth is ad- joined by an alcove, uted as a sleeping room apartment, awl the doors of the ad- joining alcoves tura on a pivot in the cen- ter of the partition wall. This ingenious device was the invention of one of the ancestors of the present pro- prietor, who was somewhat of a 'wag, and found great pleasure in frightening and mystifying his guests. When one had gone to bed in the green room and the other in the blue, the floors were turned on their pivots, and on awakening the. visitor found himself in strange quarters, with clothes that were not his own. It is said that this fun loving lord lost O rich inapritance by disturbing the rest- ful moments of 11 wealthy aunt, who nev- er forgave the trick her nephew played upon her. She Did So. "Always," said papa, as he delta: his coffee and enjoyed his morning beefsteak, "always, children, change the subject when anythieg unpleasant has been said. It is both wise and polite." That evenhig on his return from busi- ness he foun several of his flower beds despoiled, an the tiny imprint of slip- pered feet oil ntly bearing witness to the small thief. "Mabel," h said to her, "did you pick my flowers?" "Papa," said Mabel, "did you see a monkey in th city today? We had a - d that. Did you pick my 13" t did grandma send me?" at do you mean? Did you era? Answer me, yes or • "Never spi Bowers, lab "Papa, wh "Mabel, w pick my fie no." "Yes, pap, I did, but I thought I would chang the subject." Time Ne4ed For a Leg'. Toilet. Insurance collectors, visiting mane families dell:, hear odd remarks some- times. A col ector called the other night upon a rallw y watchman. little girl came to the oor and said, "I guess you can't see fat er because he's got his leg off." The collector looked sympathetic and said in a shocked voice: "My, oh, my! How did th t happen?" The little girl made answer: "Oh, he takes it off every night before e goes to bed. He's got a wooden leg." Her father didn't care, she added, to go o the trouble of putting the leg on again until next morning, as it re- quired 15 mi utes to adjust the straps. Ju t as Ile Thought. -"If I wer to aslc you to marry me, what would ou say?" "Why, .M . Broivnby," she faltered; "really this 1 so sudden." "I though so," he answered; "that's; about what hey all say. Much obliged," And then he said it was time for him to go.-Exchan ro An Ancient Automobile. The areki es of Antwerp show that in 1479 the co e menet treasurer was author- ized by the magistrates of the town to pay a bonu of 24 livres d'Artois to a man named illes de Dom as an appreci- ation of his ift to the city of a "carriage set in motio by mechanical means only." Love' We once Ing to her bait in the drap that h wood b head, honey Endearing Phrouse. eard a Billyille matron call - husband, who was digging arden, "Honey, ef you don't e an fetch me In a cord o' eak this wash pot over yez 11 "Didn't y many antiq "Dear me dee- An Expedient. u have trouble in getting se es?" sloe I had them naade to or low to Realise. "My dear," said Mr. Bickers to his wife, "I sus in the papers today of a de- cision of a court that the wife may in some cases )e the head of the family." "John FI nry," replied Mrs. Bickers, "the court are sometimes very slow about finding out thinga."-ruck., _ INTERESTING D1JELS. THE YANKEE AND THE ENGLISHMAN 1 WHO DIDN'T FIGHT. A Curate Who Was Made a Deab and Who Julia Mineed a Bishopric. Dancing Under Compulsion -A. Fe". mous French Female Duelist. The stories of American duels are of great interest and are among the most farn.ous in the whole history of dueling, flya t they are too well known to be re- ated. The majority bare been desper- ate tragedies when good men and true have been led to kill each other often through misrepreseutations that lost the world many a noble and helpful life. One, however, that was not so disastrous was between an -American and a hot headed foreigner. What the quarrel was history stateth. not. Perhaps: it Ives so small as to be quite overlooked, bet at all events it was arranged that theAvro take their places on kegs of powder, with a lighted fuse placed in the bunghole of each. The kegs, of course, were empty, but as the foreigner saw the fire slowly burning clown to the supposed volcano ebelow him his courage failed him and h fled. Still more interesting is the story of the Yankee skipper and the Englishman. In the earlier days there was not much love lost between the two factions, con- seaueutly it was no very hard matter to pick a quarrel, especially when each thought the death of the other would be a service not only to his country, but to the world. In this particular case the skipper of a weather beaten Yankee whaler met an Englishman in a foreign port and had an altercation with him, perhaps over a, matter of precedence. A duel was arranged, and at the ap- pointed time the Englishman appeared, bringing- with him two swords, as though the Yanked had the choice of weapons. He Inferred that the armory of the whaler contained - no such luxuries. But the skip- per would not accept the proffered weap- ons, whereupon the other brought out a handsome pair of dueling pistols. These, too, were -refused, and the Englishman demanded in astonishment what his oppo- nent did want to fight with, whereupon the Yankee replied he had brought his weapons with him and produced a pair of well sharpened harpoons. The Eng- lishman, of course, protested, but, as the choice of weapons did not lie with him he was obliged to accept the harpoons. When the Yankee raised the murderous looking piece, the Englishman knew that arm, experienced in piercing the dodging whale, could not fail to miss him. The unwieldy harpoon began to shake in his awkward band, and he flung it down, leaving the exultant Yankee master of the situation. Another interesting duel fought with- out the use of 'ordinary weapons bad for one of its principals the Duke of Rich- mond, then viceroy of Ireland. His title to fame rests on the fact of Lis being a great duelist and a six bottle man, able to drink all his staff and gentlemen guests under the table. On a visit to a friend in the west of Ireland the duke complain- ed that he had no one to drink with him, and his host, wishing to remedy this de- ficiency, sent for a curate famous for his liquor drinking. After five bottles had been disposed of by each the curate com- plained that it was too slow work and proposed bumpers of brandy. These were immediately filled and as quickly emptied. Fresh bumpers were then filled for each, but as the representative of the church stretched out his hand to receive one he fell helpless to the floor. On the follow- ing day the duke made him a dean, re- marking that if he had_ been victorious in the drinkitig duel his curacy would have been exchanged for a bishopric. A. little earlier than this the famous Dr: Young, going with some ladies to Vauxhall, then the rendezvous of all the beauty and fashion of London, 'played an the German flute to amuse thifm. Just behind them came a boatload of officers, and when the doctor ceased playing one of them insisted that he should continue or be thrown into the water. Wishing to avoid a dispute before his friends, he con- tinued; but, arriving at his destination, he sought out his tormentor and demand- ed satisfaction with swords and without seconds early the following morning. When they met, however, and had taken their places, the doctor instantly drew out a huge horse pistol andepointing it at the officer's head, compelled him to dente a minuet. The officer had no choice but to obey and for a quarter of an hour kept up the dance. The doctor then lowered his pistol, saying as they were quits they might now arrange another affair with seconds and the officer might have satis- faction. But if England was an uncomfortable place to live in those days, France was still worse. Such a state of affairs ex- isted that in. 1041 was instituted the "Sa- vior's truce," whereby duels were prohib- ited from Wednesdays until Mondays. But, like all. other forbidden things, the duel rather grew in favor than decreased. Montaigne says, "If three Frenchmen were put into the Libyan desert, they would not be a month there without fighting and quarreling." Cases are re- corded of father and son facing each oth- er in mortal combat, brother arrayed against brother and the dearest of friends killing each other for absolutely nothing except perhaps a misplaced word. Even the women of France have fought, though, indeed, it was no very unusual occurrence in any country for a wife to disguise herself in her husband's armor when he was unable to meet the foe him- self. One of the most famous of the women duelists of France was Maupin, one of the performers at the opera. Serene, the famous feneing master, fell in love with her and gave her many valuable Jeesons in the art. One evening at a ball Mau - pin was very rude to another lady and wad' requested to leave the room. She replied she would if those gentlemen who had espoused the ladyts cause would accompany her. This they consented to do, and after a hard combat she killed them all. Then she quietly returned to the ballroom. But of these affairs no count can be made. More people have probably lost their lives over some foolish quibble than have been killed in a dozen wars for their country's good. Significance of Earle. A book on the ears as an fader of (than- actek having been published by an kineglisk Luther, a learned reviewer, Dr. A.. Keith, mentions his owa *taborete study of the ears of more thaa 40,000 people, includ- ing BOO criminals and 2,090 insane per - 10a11, besides those of SOO apes. Re was forced to coacluds that the .as erre to tisw to Rersonal traits. A Surprise. "And was- my peseta a surprise to your sister, Johnny?" "I should rather think so! She said she never suspected you'd give her anything so cheap," -Exchange. The world, as a rule, hears very little of the man who is too much *troika his wirer to WEI LA 44 WO% r .. 4- . .0111111allik."••••• You Ylc..y Need Pain -Mire For Cuts Burns Bruises Cramps Diarrhoea. Ali Bowel Complaints It le a sure, safe and quick remedy. There's only one PAIN -MILLER PERlatr Two sizes, 25c. and 50e. FOR SALE. Desirable property on South East corner of James and William streets, Seaforth. The house la in good repair, contains 6 rooms, pantry, kitchen and wood- shed. Cellar under whole house, with cement floor.. Largo cement cistern. Never failing cement well with excellent water. There are 8 plum trees, 1 pear and 2 apple trees ; also- raspberries, currants, shrubs, plants and flowers. No encumbrance on property. For terms apply to NOBLE CLUFF, North Main street. Seaforth; or to VALENTINE KNECHTEL, Stratford, 1786-4 SIGN OF THE CIRCULAR SAW Screen Doors, Screen Windows all sizes—the TX/ tea etcr.xnp grout puu THE SEAFORTH Musical - Instrument EMPORIUM. ESTABLISHED, 1873. Owing to hard times, we have con- cluded to sell Pianos and Organs at Greatly Reduced Price& Organs at $25 and upwards, and Pianos at corresponding prices. See us before purchasing. SCOTT BROS. , The McKillop Mutual Firs -- Insurance Company. FARM AND ISOLATED TOW& PROPERTY ONLY INSURED -0171010. J. B. McLean, Preeldent, Elppen P. 0, •, Thomas Fraser. vioe-preddent, Brucefield P. 0.- Thomas E• Hays, Seoyareae. fleaforth P. 0. t W. 0, Broad - foot, inspector of Lowe, Seaforth 1,0. nmsorosa. - W. G, BrOadfoot, Seafor; John G. Grieve, WIth throp ; George Dale, Seaforth; John Benneweie. Dublin; jeme• Event!, Beecbwood ; John was, Garlock; Thomas Fraser, Brumfield; John B. Me. Lean, Hippen ; James Connolly, Clinton. Bob*. Smith, Ratio& ; F.obt WoMiliso Seger*, Jame. Cumming Igniondv .to J. W. Teo Holmes- ville P. 0.; George Murdie and John 0. 'Kmiec', auditors Puttee datums to effect Inurameal ter *maw rot othet bluenose will be promptly Attended to ow irplioatioa to any of the above *Rowe, addressed to heir respective poet &Peso. SEAFORTH DYE WORKS lAdleo and gentlemen, thanking you all for poet patronage and now that a new season ie at hand wish told you know that 1 am still in the bustuiet. ready to do my beet to give you every matisfeetlea In doing your work in the line of claming and dyeing gentlemen's and ladies' clothing, done without being ripped as well as to have them aped. All wool gobds guaranteed to give good satisfaction on sheet- ed notice. Shawls, ourtelne, etc., at moderate prices Please do not fail to give me s ean. Butter a.nd eggs taken An exchai3ge for work. HENRY NICHOL, opposite the Laundry, north Maio skeet. 18014? 7k/bre. Aft 'Moat Ilhaaptoalik Thaigreat .RW1.0 Rowdy... Sold -and recommended by all druggists in °amide. Only hiemedicine disoove . Biz kaga guaranteed to all forms Sexrui Weakness, all effects of aims or excess, Mental Worry, Excessive use of To- bacco, Opium or Stimulants, Mailed on ressivt of price, oneactis,,e al, six, Ia. One ',MIAOW. SiZ WM Ctire, & phlets tree to any addrese. - The Weed Company, Wings%54)at. ISold in Seeforth by Alex. Villean,d, S. Roberta eod I. V. Fear, druggiste.