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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1872-12-20, Page 2THE MYSTERY OF VISCOUNT BOWL - DOUT. BY atourix A.irOnsTuS sALA. 'Ms lordship NTts fuiou, and all the Attempts to pacify -him were the dismal est of failures. "Never." he said, solemn- ly, to her ladyship -"never!' -and as he spoke he added weight to his Nonce tion by bringing clown his finely formed but somewhat gouty han& on b. buhl ta- ble. Covered with-:gimeracks .from Dres- den, -and causing those tiny magas to shiver in their porcelain shoes -"never let Me hear the name of that abandoned, that hardened prodigal again' I abso- lutely forbid its being pronounced in this -house. He is a disgrace to his family, to his order, and to the prefession to which he belonged. 'Y And .having de - littered himself of this terrible denuncia- tion, his lerdship buttoned his 'coat across his noble breast, leaned one hand on his hip, and extendedtthe other in a monitory manner towards his lady, look- ing in this attitude remarkably like Sci- pio Africanus, or the late Lord Grey in the act of moving the second reading Of the Reform Bill1 think, by it was Lord John who moved it, .but that matters little.. Her ladythip -Wept Hew could she refrain from teen, seeing that the hard- ened prodigal whom she had just heard .denount•ed, repudiated,and banished from the paternal roof -represented for the nounce by a back drawing -room in a private hotel in Jermyn Street -was her - own ton ? Da 7 -este, her; ladyship was continually weeping:. In her interesting youth her mime -maids were wont to ad- dress her reproachfully as "Cry-baby," and to speak of -her contumeliously, when she was out °nearing, as that, "whin- ing little puss." In the brigade of Gaaaids (to whicheher son had, alas ! -be- longed) they used to caU her Lady Waterworks. , Her. ladyship's spouse was the Right Honorable the Earl of Impeoue. His lordship owned estates of immeuse extent in several ctiunties, several coal mines in the North, and a slate -quarry in Wales ; and Impyeue Terrate and Bowldout Street, in the cathedral city of Fusty - ford, belonged to him ; but alt his broad acres were mortgaged. several time over,. and he had. no moneys His wife had no money ; that is to say, her loal and her trustees between th.em had muddled' it away .somehow. Caries De Veu Dim- nop, by courtesy Viscount Bowldout, his lordship's- only son, aud heir to the earl- • dom, had uo meney. In the entire fami- •• ly there was nanny cash. Bowldeut the abandoned and hard- ened prodigal., had expectations, but they all came to nothing. His uncle, Major- General Dannem, tormetly of the H. E. • L �'s army, ought to have left him sev- eral lacs, or crores, of rupees -at all events, a prodigious quantity of money: He did not clo any thing of the kind, be- queathing his large fortune, his indigo plantations, and his Opium farms to a lady of dark complexion and of the Ma- ,hommedan persuasion, with a numerous young family, all as fat as putter and of the color of Epps's cocoa. Then old. Sir Thomas Roper, one of the judges of the Court of Col/11nm Pleas, and his mother's brother, had been. confidently expected to make yoang -Viscount Bowldout his •'heir.. He was a bachelor, and had saved many thousands at the bar before he was a judge. Sir Thomas died from the effeets of indigestion after dining with the Worshipful Company of Ratcatchera at their hall in Cateaton Street, and he left all his Money to the Asylum for Idiots. The Honorable Miss Dahnop, indeed, that ivealthy spinster of Gros - waxer -Square, his aunt, left him a thump- ing leaa,cy-enough to have rehabilitated the fortaoes of the entire family ; out the old lady having been, unfortunately, in her latter years somewhat eccen tric- keepint- squirrels in her bedroom, always dining in a cocked hat, with nine wax, candles on the table, frequently calling in Italian hurdygurdy grinders, Ethiopi- Pa an seranaders, and the like, to discourse re: sweet music to her, and regaling them st with petted meats and sherry wine-dis• - tont relatives, to whom she didn't leave ew any thing in her will, stazted the hypo- tm • thesis that the Hon, Miss Duunop was mad. So the estate was thrown into tee° Chancery, and. must have hurt itself in re the fall, eince it lay in Linceln's Inn for :11" Many -years withont moving, tnd appar111 - ently -unconscious. At all eveats, no- th body got ally money, the lawyers except- tY ed, the costs always tieing costs in the t a cause.' Bp • • So there was "nee luck -at a' about ed° the , noble house of Dunpop. Ch mid 'I° poverty (lid not, howevet, prevent the 80 Earl of Irapyeu.e from living on the fat of - the land, from sitting at quarter sessions and sending poaehers to jai' for having pheasants' eggs in the crowns of theire hats, and iraprisonnig little. children for ga° plucking turnips or sprigs of lavender. • Yoverty did not hinder him from giving balls and (1,Mner-parties ; it did not pre- vent her ladyship from appearing at n't court, covered with diamonds, rubies, t"te and emeralds. and -svith a satin train see.- sho eral feet in length behind her. There am. are some people who must have a ca,rri- ma age and two horses to it Lady Iropycue re always had. If you ask me who paid fat- to it, or for the clothes she wore, or the lon food she ate, -I must reply that really don't know. In Vanity Fair we got oc- big L glimpses of how the Ratordon ulg Urawleys contrived to 'get on—not pet_ Lac eisely so as to make both ends meet, hut ed g at all events to lace the corset of genteel °le existence with sufficient closeness td hide n:Le'' the beggar's smock beneath ; but their- seri "nothing a year" was, after all, mere a Wile "aeon de pccrler than an a.bsetate eeality. • fro Rawdou woo naoney at cards somehow, and .Becky borrowed freely from, the Yb°eutt Marquis of Steyne. Now the Earl of arrl imperette had never been accused of le ma' . thaf respectable private Ili:torts *bill for board - and education- \retnained in an pit- - -settled -eOndit MaWhen the yoittliful vis. count was t ansferred: to the "dietaret spites. and al tique 'towers" ---whiell': are irisible-froni he Eton Playing „Fields. Whopaidth. _two :hundred .guineasper annum, more more ot lean requieite for keep - mg a boy at. ton.unist be ,acconatedone of the .myster. es of the noble fatally. Idol celebrating, s nce very little &edit, Turn ' • derstand, is. giveti by the. tutors- and dames at the, °liege where "grateful ser- vice . eta . a ores. her Henry's :holy shade:" - Sta e the • ItoiL Alias Dunnop was still alio ,. aod had not. yet become so eccentric 9,4 to partake -of her meals in a -cooked hat, When young Carlos. went to Eton. Perha es ' she paid ' her nephew's school bills.. • His little lilt she assuredly did • not pay for hime and frone the hatonaid at the "Christop en" who had trusted his lordship • for eere cold gin-ahd-watere Abernethy biscuit, pork pies, and cig- ars -probably' contumed on Sundays, eltd in chum. -time-4o his purve-vor of cricket -bats -aa (1 rackets, his supplier of . \tarts and. ging r -been and the ingenious Mechanic whomended- the watch -who. 1 • paid -for it ? hose - works he Was al- ways breaki the memory of -Carlos de Veil Donnop, iscomet Bowldout; linger- -ed. for many s -1 years. in the fond. hearts of the trades -p °On of Eton, Slough, and Windsors Thy would never forget him, they said, =pathetically; . Some of these simple folk we t even farther- hi their af- fectionate ' fa , harity. • They spoke . of their absent d btor as a "little scamp." it is needles to follow the brilliant .career of my n ble herd at. the Univer- sity of OxfOrd. He Mt without taking a degree; but ti ()ugh Ale, made no figure in the schools, I, e was • alwayf imMerted in books, Thare .Was searcety a lesIg.er in a tradesman s.shop.in the High Street without whale pages being ' devoted to records of the . cadeanical indebtedness of Viscount Bowl .aut • After this he went into the Guaads. I haveheard. the, he had nine tailors; that he .` • tubbed." dvery morning -with three bottles of . eau-de-ColOgne to his bath ; yir that he had fon tem). horse i in his stable -or somebod else's. stable,' which amounted.. to the same thing .; and that he thought not]. ing ofp giving -or rather _owing, the terns are eouvertible-ahalf a guinea for a :i y of the valley to'wear in. the button -h le of his coat, • 111e bet- ted heavily., a.. dt stood to win thirty thousand, they - ay,: on, Dicky Sam, the Derby favorite, that went dead lame on the looming of he race; and he was as- sociated in som mysterious manner with the Royal -De ravity - Theatre aa the. period whet. th faverite place of enter- tainment was m der the maoagement of of Miss Ma.gaie.--Beaumanois, formerly of thecorps de bad et. - I think it was for. foutteen thousand seven hundred. a id ninety-seven pounds .fifteen ' shillings and fourpence three- -farthings that t e young gentleman was bankrupt, in the spring of 18-. - Half the Commercial irectory, -in the shape of tailors, shirt -ma ers, boot -makers. hos- iers, jewelers, livery -stable .-and hotel keepers, . wine na rehaote, and fancy sta- tioners, seemed be present _ •ht Basing - hall Street to pre ent their proof of debts. Strangely enoug ,. there were mil hilt- - discounters in th list -of ereditors, and on this cireams nee the. learned eam-- - imssionelit warm y , compliMented the noble bankrupt vs henhe allowed him to ass his examin. tion ; the truth being hat no discount r in London would. have . done" any of I is lordship's ." paper." even at six times sixty per cent. interest. He never -had a rap, a.nd. he never will _ have a rapt miles hegets that Chancety soot, and he wO. t .get it," quoth Mr. Lee Vigh Sharp,. ,f Knaves' inn, to .Mr. Soloman Flatcate ett. of Little Sabretat- che Street; when the prospects of the - youthful bankrupt were discussed. - - This,- thent wa . the "hardened ani abandoned -prodi al," whom his :noble pa :felt compel ed to repudiate and nounce-1 will not say, to disinherit, lice his lordship had nothing. to leave s heir save his ttle andlis debts. But hye it may he a ked, .was the 'Earl of pycue in such terrible rage with his D. ? • Was riumieg. into. debt • unknown the family ?. Was not, indeed, - the e young man rather' to betongratulated an censured :on !having pcsitivt) y • got t� debt to the tune of nearly fifteen oasand_ pounds without a,. shilling wldout's bankruptcy -had very little to I herewith. to di eharge. his liabilities ? tri somewhat Of opinion thatViscount . with the Ead of In:Twee% indigna- n against -him, and that the real re- n for the paternal wrath was this -that the improvident and ungrateful young li man had had -the ticoaceivable folly to fell over head arel' ears in leve with Peo- ny Clearthoro, a pretty. but penniless veruess - in the family of. Sir John A:dishevel (Crat- shovel., Scalesby, .& ayte, Lombard ,Street), the famous •oneteand banker, When he might have it. in marriage, and. for ' the . asking, mentina AngeLna Argentina Cram - vet, the. baronet -banker's only .Child I heiress. It is tt,iie that she was much rked with the 'steal -pox, and had only eye, but then ow very rich she -wen be! Now dO ye understandwhy iny 1 was furious, why my lady wept? I now can you c mprehend how Fanny arthorn was .expelled from Sir John'e house in Eatoei „Square, how • Lady lyettramshovel detiounced the banish. - 'evenness as a designing mintx, while mentina, Ane ilia Argentina said -orgave the crawling ttom of her bearina that she forgives you her heart, . you had li ; it is nil over with . Viscount Bowldout lusion that he . had ters generally. and kly that she tent from the b n a woman say m the .bottom of Cr make your w --and how Lorc ved at the con • le a mess of na tendency to play; it was his grandfatIn that er, the first earl, who had originally the "dipped" the estate by gambling ; and rade it was very certain that nobody would gall lend the Countess of teepyene any thcat money. Yet they rubbed along some co how, had the best of every thing, and a ho box at the opera, and always dined at eight. I think they must have lived on air -or on the wind of their nobilite , so to speak. - 0 Carlos de Veu Dunnop, Lord Viscount Lon Bowldotte, was, deeply in debt when he walk went to Eton, at the mature ake of ten Curz years ; least, the cake Woman, and the thor lady who sold sweet stuffs, and the hunch- row backed old. man who dealt in toeis mar- the g his ii his 1 he was iu a "- teemed fix ?" • It was opinion of his lo •dship's former com- s in the Guar is, and from which ant corp e he had Ring since sold out, Bowley had. " one a mucker," and me a cropp r." They were rsey " young in n, and spoke habitu- ally in the stable ccrot, so dear to the Britiah youth. • n•, * ne afternoon, a the height. of the don season, Viscount Bowldout was ing somewhat gloomily :through - on Street, Menrfair, into which oughfare h.e had entered by the par-. pass which leads from Hay Hill by arden wall of Lansdowne House on ay to Hyd.e Pat a It accorded with ordain -19's purpose to avoid the more populous thoroughfake of Piccadilly, in which numbers of his lordship's trades.- tthis is a sadly democratic age) -had it inen-those he had. atronized since his, bankruptcy, and w o were wont up.ont occasion to be indec, rously importunate' their places of business. Being utterly ruined, Lord - Bowldout had naturally Ides, balls, and hockey -sticks, in the neighboreood of the residence of the Reverend Lancelot Graves, Moatpelier Road, Twickenham, Who had the honor to- prepare his lordship for the great pub- lic seminary, just named, all declared that the heir to the earldom of ltapyeue owed them "no end of money." It may be said likewise that he was remotely in. debt to the Rev. Lancelot himself; for - THE HURON EXPOSITOR. residential chambers in Pell M411.and 'stall at th opera, and carefully kept -hi _name on the books of all his clubs,‘ The Committee of the Junior'. Lavender Kid Glove behaved most 'handsomely ,during the trying period of his loidship's bank- niptcy. His lordship's 'want ef,gayety on theafternoon in question was not due I should say, to the general embarrass Inca of his affairs. He had beenebtrn ii a muddle, and he very properly though himself predestined to die in one. He was melancholy- 'because he wetted a • flower foahis button -hole, - and. he hap paned to have overrun. his credit -Or, 'rather, the credit of his credit; the ghost _of his tick,- as he pathetically called it -- with ever Y one of his floriets, and to be without half a crown in his pocket .wherewith to purchase the wonted floral decoration. . , , • • Hafternoon, zny lud; 'opeyour lud- 'nhia's well," ' the viscount heard a voice Very familial, to him exclaint close by him. .11e raised his eyes -he had. been gazing at the pavement. -as though. in hopes of seeing lilies of the valley sprout from the interstices of the flags -and saw standing at the door of a green gro- cer's, florist's, and fruiterer's shop a- face and form very,. familiar to; him. They belonged to John Rooter, formerly butler to hisnoble father, "There's tick for a flower, then, at all events," thought Vis- count Bowldout as he condescen.dingly returned the-ex-bUtler's statute, and at his •respectful invitation entered his small but cleverly stocked establish - Meat. That little matter of the flower for the butten-hole waasoon settled. I.don't thiak I need book it, my lud," quoth Mr. Rooter, with jocular deference. "It ain't the first boaay your ludship's fani.- ily's had from me. Lord! how -her lady- ship used to stick. it up for. floweriim plants at her at 'eines." " I've nothing to do with my family's debts," interposed his lordship, - testily. "They've .all cut me -cut me- dead, Rooty, because I've gone to smash." He was a simple-minded young nobleman, and was not averse to using the naive patois popular at music. halls and on the knife boards. of omnibuses: - • 1` Know hall about it, my hid. No hof. fence," -.went on the retired cellarer. " Your ludship must be gettin awful 'ard -hap. " • • "Itard up isn't the word," said Vis- count Bowldout, wearily. " Ith • cor- nered. • I can't go to my dabs, because • I owe the waiters money, It's a real smash. 1 -shall have to sweep a crossing, pi- go on the stage and play the hind -lees of the hippy-piipy-orhat-d'ye-call-tn iii l4ie pantomime.' " 'Ope not, my- hid. When things - come to theworst they must mend, so nay old woman says. Maybe, my hid, I could give' you a lift that would be of sonte service to you." "You, ?" • `` Well, look here, my. lud. •I'm a hold snvvent of the .It's true _ that your pa never paid me my wages, and borrowed money besides, and that your ma went tick witd\me for floweria' plants till flesh And.blood. couldo't stand it DO longer but the 'ouse • of Dunnop's brought me into sustiety, and sussiety is What I want. • My lud, ham a hambit- iolus man."'• . 1" Indeed, Rooter !" " Hi always were; from a knife -boy uppards. This shop is hall •very well, and my olcl women turns in a good bit o' money. Hi've done pretty coanfertable too by attendin' dinner Parties.; and the pastry -cook's shop hopposite, which - we _send hout_dinnein, is mine." "By .Jove! you're a regular financier, float,. you'll be a Rothschild some of these daits," broke in. Lord. Booddout, quite interested. •. • .6' Hi. wouldn't bemean myself to be hany thing so low." resumed; the Nino - floral pastry -cook. "The wine -mer- chant's cellarage hunder 'Odge's, the tailor's., in Jerinvn Street, is mine. But my views is jigher-t2ighet, .my. They haspiret to hupholstery." " 'To tohnt ?" • " To hupholstery,". solemuly went on the anibitious Booty, "Likewise with a view to hauctioneering, which, bein' neglected in my hewn heddicatioe, .1 am • twin' my sent -James -given classical tooi- -tion in one of the best commercial haca- demies at 'Oxton. Han hupholsterer, a faslitiable hupholsterer and. hauctioneer in St: Jam s Street, I 'ave madaup my Mind to be. "And w not an undertaker too, ta., Rooty ?" "Why not, hindeed ! You may chaff, my hid ; but let me tell you that header - taking eomes nattend hatter hupholstery and. ha,uctioneering ; and let me tell you that when you get into the line of berry- dooks and hearts, there's a deal of meat on the transa,ction." . "1 don't think yoa will get much out of my governor's funeral,' the candid viscount remarked..- -‘1 Besides, we've had tick at Banting's for the last three- qu artcrs of a century„"• - " Hit habit o' berryin' you hitin thinkint my lud," • replied the green- grocer,. amiaably. "Bi want to put you in the way of makin' livint Do you want to make one ?" • "Yes, if Pin not obliged to work for it," he answered, with peffect siinplicity "I'll go bail that 'you shate't 'ave to work 'arder than you ever did in your life. You .don't call goin' hout to dinner .'ard work ?" " No, not very." • "Good ! Now will your ludship go hout to dinner at height o'clock to -mor- row evening at the house of "---here he consulted a large account book - Single- ton Fytch Fytch, Esquire, Boauerges Gate, 'Yde Park.?" - • "But. I'M not asked, and I don't know the man from Adam." " Never mind that. You'll. be a,s ked by the first 'post to -morrow eoonaint Will you go? • You know a hold suvveut vvouldn't deceive you. Hand leek 'ere, my lad. Hif you. want a cool. 'anderd, jest to set. you straight a little, jest- put your 'and to a Hi Howe Hew, and the money's yours as soon as I can get it out of the cash -box in -the back parlors". - * * - * 1 . a _pally at dinner that evening at e s o'clock, R. 8. V. P. And Vise Bowldout event to the dinner, and enjoy- ed himself tolerably well at a suroptnous banquet with a host and -hostess and a number of guests, none of *whom he had ' ever met before in his life. ight They say he's going into Parliament. Ount Well, when I was at the lowest flow - water, he kept a little green -grocer's shop in Mayfair. He had. been butler in OUT you know. Well. he was a good- natured fellow, and lent me some money, and then- Virell, when a fellowti hard up he's obliged to do very shady things. need to uo out Orninzer for lam.'1 "Go out to dinner for him ! What on earth do you mean, Charles ?" asked Lady Impycue, kissing hen husband's forehead. "Just what I say," returned his Jord- ship. "You see, Rooty was a pushing 'fellow, end had gone into the pastry -cook line, and used to send out dinners. • Be had no end of customers who had made heaps of money, but had been teades- people, or something of, that sort, and didn't leno w any body in what is called 'Society' that they could ask to dine with them, or to come to their parties after- ward. • They had lots of girls, but no men. Well, by Jove 1 If that Rooty didn't serve his customers with guests as well as with dinners 1I know he served them with me, and I suppose he put me in the bill You see, I hadn't a penny, "but then I was a •lord, and that was something. By degrees, by going to and. fro among them, I met a lot of rich City fellows, and then I got made director of a lot of companies ; and they used to give me two guineas every time I went dolor) to -lunch m the board -room ; •and besides, I got a lot of paid-up shares, and they used to tell me how to sell them at the right time and altogether 1 did very well, till the Chancery suit turned up trumps ; and that's all about itt my deal- ingLh was the Mystery of Viscount Bowldout The viscount almost entirely absented himself from his ateustomed. haunts (hit - t' lug the remainder of the season. The, g‘allant dandies, his exchumseopined that Bartley " was " up a tree;" and "keeping dark." Some said that he had gone to Australia ; others that be Was at Homburg, backink zero. Sir Benjamin Backbite declared that. Bowldeut had married a wealthy blit female at ktheltent him, and was doomed to constant at- tention on her cats ; and Joseph Sur- face, Esq., was truly sorry to think so, • but feared - he strongly and sadly feared -tha t the misguided young man. had cat his throat, a,ncr that the awful tragedy bad. been hushed up, • It was at Calais, Joseph Sutface, Esq., had been told. • But though Lord Boividaut was seen no more in the club. smoking•room, or at the bow-wiadows. thereof; he had by no means bid adieu to London life. He dined out matt assidoi usly. Le- poul, his valet (from whom, indeed, ob- tained tilt Materials for *this veracious history), showed me a whole pile of din- ner invitations, all of which had been duly accepted and honored between the mouths of May and August, 18-. For eXample, there were Mr. and Mrs. Jar- • vey Caddingtton, P.eckhaanthiry Square ; Mer. and M rs. Treblepippin. Spontella Lodge, Lombard Gardens. -West ; the Misses Hyde, Leatherum Crescent, Tan- ner's Park.; Mr. and Min. Figg, Sandi- lande Uottage, .Cheshunt ; Mr.' and Mrs. Warmgoose, the Snippery, Acton ; and many more. Besides the dinners, the viscount found thne to attend during the season po less than a hundred and seven- teen " at - homes," "assemblies," and " theas d.aneantes." I have heard, too, that iewas on more than one - occasion seen it the Pavilion hotel. Folkestone, and atIthe. Grand Hotel Scarborough, in ccmpany of ladies and gentlemen ger. geously attired, but personally unknown to the aristocratic acquaintance who, by chance, came Rarest" him. Toward the close of the season Lord- Torn Tupper (the Marquis of - Parna,ssus'e fourth _ecia), being by chance in the city, happened to meet Bowldout alighting from a hansom in Bombard Street. The viscount seem- ed anxious to avoid. Tom, and hurried:up one of the courts of the auriferous thor- oughfare. ":Now what the deuce was Bewley doing_in Lombard Street ?" Lord Tom Tupper continually asked. during the next fortnight of all the frimeds who -would listen to him. " It ain't possible, you know, that he's got a banking ac- count there, except en the wrong side of the.slate." Tom Tupper, there are more things in heaven and earth. than were dreamt of in your philosophy. - About this time, if you scanned the evening papers, and. especially the Ob- serrer, carefully, you might light on count Bowldout'e .name very frequently as a director of the Jemitut Jane Opal Mining Company (Liniited),' the Univer- sal Discount Association of the New At- lantic, the Credit Foncier of Utopia, the Haud-on-your,Throat, Insurance Corpor- ation, and- kindred. joint stock -enter- prises. • Lord Viscount Bowldout was president of the Contopolitan Washing, Ironing, Clealestarching, and. Shirt -but- ton Guarantee Society, and deputy -chair- man cf the Intersolat.cl rand Trunk Rail- way. Meanwhile his lordship; although tbegan to look somewhat pale and care- tvOS'n was in a worldly sense, flourishing exaeedingly. He 'dative a mail phaetoa with two splendidly matched bays, and Ire could have driven four-in-hand had. he liked, and have paid for his team too. He had an account at bent house in Lombard Street (Oh, shallow Toni Tea - per !), and that account was on the right side of tbe slate, and la very rouridnne. Fortune favors the ftrtun ate, and there is nothing that suceeeds like success. Thesemay be platitudes, but they are true Just as Lord Bowldout was begin- ning to think thatehe had money enough te many little Fanny • Clearthorn • (to whom he had never, to his honor; been false); the Lord, Righl Chaecellor woke up one morning in a perfectly weasel -like state of wakefulness, and delivered. a de- cree which somehow- bed the effect Of moving the Court of Probate and the Coart of Common Pleas, and all manner of subsidiary tribunalt, and of arousing the very wildest excitement in Lincoln s Inn and in the Inner and. Middle Tem- ple. No lessthan three leading articles were written in daily papers on the .Chancellor's judgment, the effect of which was that the , erobarge so ,l'ohg laid upon the estate of the °notable. Lucretia - Honona Duntop, nster, deceated • Mr. Rooter, of Curzon Street, Mayfair, green grocer, fruiterer, and florist, inter- • ested in the pastry: cook's shop over the way; and inthe wine -merchant's premises tender Mr. Hodge's, the tailor, in Jermyn Street, was not exactly •the mocking :fiend Mephistopheles ; nor had Viscount Bowldout much of the stuff of Dr, Hein-. rich Faust in his composition. Still there was a compact entered into be- tweeu the viscount and the ambitious green -grocer that summer afternoon. The next morning Lord. Bowldout re- ceived at his chamber a card of large di- mensions and highly glazed, in which. Mr. and -Mrs. Singleton .Fytch Fytch, of Boanerges Gate, Hyde Park, solicited the honor of Viscount Bo w ldo at's. com was all at once- removed, and that a, large property -mulcted, liowever, in a trifle like ten thousand pounds for etists--came inth the sole a,nd undivided possession of the Hon. Carlos de Veu Durniop.- com- • monly called Viscount Bowldout• . was reconciled to his noble parents that very evening (how her ladyship wept !) ; and three weeks afterward. Fanny Clear - thorn -the rector of St.- George's, Hain over Square, aiding and abetting -became, Lady Bowldout .M iss Clementine. An- gelina Argentina Crams hovel remains un- married.- She is the Lady Sloperior of the Sisterhoodeof St. Verges. Old. Bramp- ton; The good Sisters dettete them- selves to educational Work e and the Lady Superior, it. is said, does not disap- prove of corporal chastisement in the training of the young. • • But the "Mystery of Viscount Bowld- out ?" Well, there is no longer a Lord. Bowldout, or rather the courtesy -title is now held by a .cliAby little boy with • large blue eyes and curly flaxen hair, whom you may see semetimes trotting on his Shetland pony in Rotten Jiow, his bridle held by the stet) t • coachman, mounted. On a cob as stout, at his side. The Earl of Tmocue has gone to the land where debtors are at rest, and Car- los, his son -not a "hardened. prodigal" -reigns in his stead. 1 think I can hest explain the "Mystery" as related to me in his lordship's own words, overheard one morning at breakfast by Lepoul, his man, who, besides, had kuown all about his master's occult proceedings for a very long time. • . 'Ton see, my pet,". said his lordshie, trifling with .a partridge's wing on his plate, 'when I left the Guards, and the poor old governor turned_ me up, and that bankruptcy businesst-I've paid all the fellows since then, with five per cent. interest -was bothering me, I was a -w - fully hard up, and didn't know literally which way to turn. I was thinking of enlisting in the Carabineers. or some- thing desperate of that sort. Well, you know Booty, -the rich auctioneer, uphols- terer, and undertaker,. in St. James's Street? He furnished this house, you remember. He's disgustingly rich. • I I I I I I II 1= Et. SPEOI.a.L NOTICES. • BREAKFAST.----EPPS'S COCOA. -GRATE - PIM AND COMPORTING.-' ' By a thorough knowledge of the natural laws which govern the operations of digestion and nutrition, and by a careful application of the line properties of wen -selected coeoa„ Mr. Epps has provided our breakfast ta- bles with a delicately flavoured beverage which may save us many heavy doctors' bus "-Uzvi Service Gazette. Made simply with Boiling Water or Milk. Each packet is labelled-Jaatis EPPS & Homoeopathic Chemists, London." MANUP.A.CTURE OP COCOA.- We will now give an account of the process adopt- ed. by Messrs. James Epps & Co., man- ufacturers of dietetic article ,s at their works in the Euston Road, London "- Cassell's household Guide. MiNsION HorsE FroTET.., malmoRE, 26th October, 1871. Mo. James I. FELLOWS -Dear Sir: I have just finished the tenth and last bottle of your estimable _Syrup of the Hy- pophosphites. To its use 1 aseribe cess sation of cough, of sharp pains in my back and chest, and of copious expector- ation ; also, returt of appetite, buoyancy of spirits, fnerease of flesh and strength to perform my daily ditties with a degree of pleasure unknown to me for a long time. The good I have experienced from it is beyond description, and I ade ise all persmis afflicted with consumption not to delay a day in taking it. • Peeling sure that were it not for you r Hypophosphites I would now be to my grave. Yours truly,Gao. C. Foote • Thoinasi Eclectric 011, watt= TEN TImns ITS WRIGHT IN GOLD. DO YOU liNOW ANYTHING Or ? IP NOT, IT'S • TIME YOU DID. There are but few preparations of medicine which have withstood the impartial judgment of the peoplefor limy great length of time. One of these is Thomas' tLECTRIO OIL, purely a prepar- . ation of six of some of the best oils that are known, eaela one possessing virtues a its own. Suientifie .physicians know that •medicines may be 'formed of several ingredients in certain fixetl proportions of greater power, and producing effocts which could never result from the use of any one of them, or in different combinations. Thus in the preparation of this oil a ehemical change takes place, forming a eompomul whidlicould not by any possibility be made from any other combination or Proportions of the same ingredients, or any other ingredients, and entirely different from anything ever before made, one whieh produces the most astonishing re- sults, and having a wider range of application than any medicine ever before disuovered. It con - no alcohol or other volatile liquids, conse- quently loses nothing by evaporation. Wherever applied yon get the benefit of every drop; whereas with ether preparations ifearlyall the alcohol is lost in that way, and you get only the small quan- tity of oils which they may contain. S. N. THOMAS, PHELPS., N. Y. And NOliTHROP & LYMA.N, Ne.weastle, Ont., Sole Agents for the Dominion. Nom-Electric-Seleeted and Eleetrized. Sol:,in Seaforth bS- E. Hickson* & Co. and R. Linusden. iterpuntlemmFamism, 'ANTI -COMBINATION SEAFORTH NOVELTY WORKS. JOHN M. MARTIN 1Jisli..6S to return thanks to his customers and " friemls for their generous patronage since as- suming charge of the above Works, and beg8 to re- quest the attention of all who may require anj- thing in his line to the following, list of prices, at which he is prepared to furnish work of & quality that cannot be stwpassed in the trade: HORSE RAKES $ 5 00;c, FARM GATES. from: 850 • WAGON RACKS ., • - 7 00 WHEELBARROWS. 4 75 LAND ROLLERS..$15 and upwards. SURFACE DRESSING, per 1000. $ 2 FLOORING and beveled. BOARDING per 1000- 4 SCROLL SAWING done by the piece or net. REPAIRING MACHINES. I am prepared at times to repair the wood- w•rk of reaping and mowing machines, and, in fact, every other luachine that can be Mentioned. Boxes babbited. TO WAGON MAKERS. The undersigned tould also beg to inform Wag- on and Carriage Mak rs that he keeps constantly on hand, all kinds of Bent Stuff suitable for their work. Carpenters, Builders, Farmers, and the public generally in need of any of the -above articles would do well to favor me with their patronage, as in my new premises, I have facilities for doing this braneh nf work which cannot be surpassed. JOHN M. MARTEN. Seaforth Novelty Works, Goderieh Street. • 228 • AINLEYVILLE PLANING ISITLIsi, SASH, DOOR AND BLIND FACTORY The subscriber having bought 4lut tile above Mill, also the good -will of the late firm, is now prepared to 1111 all orders in his line of business. Sash, Doors arid Mouldings ON HAND AND BirADE TO ORDER On the shortest notice. • CUSTOM PLANING Strictly attended to. HOUSE BLOCEENG ALWAYS ON RAND AND Promptly supplied. J.MS BENNETT. Ainleyville, May 16, 1872. 232-47 ma. 13E0. 20, 1872. 1011.1 THE TIME HAS NOW ARRIVED WHEN ALL SHOULD BE WARMLY AND COMFORTABLY cLAJD • T. K. ANDERSON JIER011A.417 grATLOR. AND CLOTHIER, SIGN OF THE BIG , Main -street, Seaforth. Is now prepared, to warmly and com- fortably clothe all who furnish him with their, orders. - JUST RECEIVED A very nice stock of FANCY CHEVIOTS 14hich make a very handsome suit. - Fcench Diagonal Coatings The nicest ever offered in. Sealortb. FANCY VESTINGS Of various patterns and at carious prices. Also, a -iery ID.C1., stock of PAATALOON GOODS, • To correspond -with the above, All of which trill be 'neatly Made Up • ancl Sold • CHEAP F013, CASH. HATS AND GAPS, of the latest and every style, always on hand. GENTS' FURNISHINGS Anything in the Gents' Furnishing Line cnn al- • ways be hadat T.• K. Anderson's,. GENTS' • FURS. A very handsome stock of Gents' Furs of the latest styles and best quality. Full sets furnished eheap. Call and see them, and you cannot help but be satisfied. READYMADE CLOTHING • AT COST. My eustorn trade having so rapidly increased • leaves ineno time to attend to the Ileadyinade Clothing Department, I haVe therefore determined -to clear out my whole stock, at eost, or under, if nece6sary. • 1_ T. K. ANDERSON, Sign of the..Big Bat, Main -street, Seaforth. P0 R THE CHEAPEST AND BEST FURNITURE, GO TO JOHN STAUFFER'S AINLEYVILLE. Sign of the Two Bureaus. JUNE 18, 1672. 237-52 CABINET-MAKER WANTED. IXT.42.NITBD it first-class Cabinet-maker, to work IrY at piece -work; good wages. J. STAUFFER, Ainleycille. JOHN BULLARD) T ICENCED AUCTIONEER for the County of Huron. Sales attended in ail parts of the County. All orders left at this office will be punc- tually attended to, or at my place Lot 11, Con. 11 McKilJoj.JOHN BULLARD, Auctioneer. 872 n Zlikg‘i I Le! t: Girl:1 Ai. Ia:Tqit 71' vSe rirn ;14 eye that he "stutters in the left eye niwiy;_.----ii:Aisfoeati.iysItfft,eli:y.ITelootsinoly:3:,be:11,,wooi nhrignla,itanikotteth:de,iici'lli,nh3;:tthlraizt ii the chief end of man 1" replied : "The endwhat's got the head OD." get_l n_pzIwndestmeine a.keadifitorerk -;: dvtoIdshaeyrs to make it herself -that's ale that a politician with whom he does not agree, was made about two days after the old contract for brains had expired and before the new one was mi—"Who was tile meekest man 'V theaid S . t d I:ey on. s -uperm en t en of e. N13 bv°Y: was Bible ee class eint. RwaoniminInte1:.' and -“Aloses, sir? "Very well, my b"; =4,P1ease, sir, there never was no ine—ek.Teshtew°Tmitauns;ille Press ' says : Titusville was not the birthplace -0*I. i ebduinildatnhemstscafFILIds.eifAas te.haeriejoenildieerinbil; if -4 t—hheeTdfhiadet,btey,l-t'tio,ofnhis country,' but we him to put up the gallows but he _ed to be hanged, but all the carpal- , trade, the Sheriff tried to induce ters inthe neighborhood refused to and, instead of swearing„ he si arose, scraped the butter off his panti into the paper again, and went on 1Zruepaonniaaniniu'e'd4rync8robs:itn'egwthhis° aBlftePr- 1' again_ as if nothing had happened." noon and sat down on a roll of but- ter which he was carrying home, —In Arkansas a man was sentene- steadfastly dedareodf ,hte'edhebe'ap banged _ house,- who complained that they now gave only one potato with his i meatwhereas they formerly gave , him two, was. mollified by the wait- • er's ex -planation. that the last lot of , potatoes they purchased wu.3 SO bad' • that no gentleman could eat more ' thanwe-1o -0Toltv‘l'e79)-olifeabtliep:tlan.' leo'ailiniAVrelsiZltheillotehsers day : "Have you graduated, Jen- nie 7" "Why, bless you, ves, 1 grad- , uated 14)st season.' "What did you , gradirtte` in 7" ‘Ju the sweetest sky-• i bilie lsilAl;r3o'c°e"r6tbNereirug''as8ovii'cited to eon- t' tribute to, the building of a new church, nr{Imptly subscribed his name (to the paper in the following' , eccentrit !manner t. John Jones (the I only place in town where yon ean :! get 11 pounds good sugar for kdol- • Jai) 25 tents. * 0, Insurance Agents. It is with utter amazement that we read the other day, in a morning journal, All :1-dveftisetnent requesting , an agent of some reliable life insur- ance company to call on the adver- tiser. as he desired to take out a policy. 'Dil. that man realize what the consequences will be 7 Vast hordes of life insurance agents will immediately swoop down upon that man. They will surround him at his meals they will' bore him in church ; they will, ourst into the parlor while he is ,courting ; they will shake him up and wake him, and 1)1111thecovers off hinifwhilehe is in bed ; they will force themselves !: into the carriage with him. when he goes to fuuerals ; they will break in !' npon him at family prayen. If he cIos daonwd nlotekheS ebbitid.n(:e0, ;+'N. v 1;hey slide ty ta 131 es ; they will -come up through the drain -pipe with eXpla- nations of the ten-year plan, they i! will wrench off the window-Platet so II as to read -death rates to him ; they will shin up the water -spouts, and souse down through tue trap.door ill the roof with documentary evidence that the endowment plan is the best one. If he should seclude himself on a desert island be Would hardly step ashore, before he would see fif- tet n or sixt ee h indeed lift -insurance , agents phddiing thoeugh the break- ers in canoes. If he should buy a shLnitsolsubt:::oarinemilmor. dazdp ui the ID dale, of the Atlantic ocean, he wouldn't touch bottom before an insuranoe agent would be down there in a diving bell with a doctor, usking questions'about the ; disease his grandiBother died with and wanting to sound his liver. lf, hinisSbheraeirnsd,e-811:elira'e,itilelatil7bidelile311,7t1°:t• " half the, insurance agents tn the country would come& suicide, in mot:eel- aton:iixit:1:1.n. the _tontine system to him as soon as he got "over the ri v ." e man haS evidently Tall Men. 'esj'A)ecsialaI-e:tuii:tti.rYc1riesmcj.swr:rte1ed.g':-1'e1:3.(!- nuniber,,,'; of 13 01/1An beings itx", crowd- ed in into a comparativel V small place, /nen degenerate in height and the' women are 110 t prOVet Aborter Lilall in the -country, but t‘ 11. i siut;.etlt:.Asth:a:gtljexet„3,tionsto1 i1there i)0tlit111geitella1 4 and ladk,S in old -cities; • major- ity of them, however, if traced to their birthplace, mil) be found to hare come frem the co ntry. Ken-