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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1870-12-23, Page 1..)ECEMBER 16 187‘. • )0D NEWS FOR TiIE )Ie of Seaforth AKERY &ICINFECTIailERY yr CA V A N AG ti* ( Late of StratiOrol) ie found intim old place, one door Mr. F. Vezd'a Grocery Stare. Nr,65---- avanagh wishee to return to his fris.-_nde and cuetomers, his sin - ides for their liberal patronage in • and hopes that they win can- t" sameU the future. 31STMAS.--- Mr- Cavanagh a great pre pal ations for the coma Stems, and win. he abla to tee_ .customers with everything in his as Bland. Confectionery, Can- ., Fancy cakes. Wedding cakee„ all kinds, and all descriptions of Hot Mutton Pies and ail kinds 'linients, also good accommoda- ;friends fieen the town and coun- leo Jt. DD BROS. Vegetable !'east. Try it, it never fails, and :ERS -J. S. FARREN 4 M's, re, the best ' in the market al- ,'s;TERS AND SARDINES. Alatays on hand. I'VE ME A TRIAL. J. CA VA NAGH. , Nev. 23, 1874& 1_34-tf, Orders for WEDDING CAKES plies for TEA PARTIES prompted to. _ TOLLS TO LET. Toi.L GATES ON the County uou Gra A el Roads, will te let ion, for the year 1871, in the Efall, Clinton, at noon, on • (by.- r:Tecenz6er Tero. to be paid monthly in advance. see to deposit one month's rent 1,y of sale, and furnish two• sal- eldere as Surety, whose names- aquired to the Lease immediate- ates are let. A. BAY, Surveyor. Y-1LAW* 187-0. 7poee certcan\ates of Toll, to be ‘it the several toil gates within, the Iluro 72. r.EAS1 it in exredient to collect cer- es of ton at the several toll gates g to the County of Huron, on the itoade within the said County, - 'e the expense of making anal re - e same. e it therefore enacted, That the iticeaed rates of toll shall be pay- ach and every tolt-gate upon the roads within. the County of Hu - the respectia-e gate -keepers are uthorized to ask for and receiye at each time of passing each n the said roads, subject to all meptions, and the exemption, of Wing deeeribed parties, viz.. - !a of the Goepel (when, engaged ministerial duties) who produce :ate from the Reeve at the math - where they reside, that they are ministers ef the Gospel ; all In- Fartiea with their teams engaged ffforman.ce of statute labor, and ,anying and returning from cat. - Lk to cheese factories. And pro - ways that the same team., horse animal or animals shall be al - ;i return and pass through the le free, at airy time before twelve M. of the night of the follow- *ry vebiele, loaded or otherwiee. .1r one horse or other beaet, eight ery additional horse, or ether ming such vehicle, four cents. ery horse, four cents. ery.single sheep or swine, one atly additional launcher, one eaela ve.ry• head of neat cattle, two it. Mat the several gate -keepers 'ee said County are hereby autho- i required to ask for, and recover eh and E very person passing be eeveva ton -gates within the kfcsresaid, with vehicles, horses, Je, or other animals subject to above mentioned rates, axial to ewfal means for the recovery of Ind be it further enacted that Law- coeuninto force and effect after the thirtyairst day of De- lext, and that By -Law No 12, be and is hereby repealed ▪ thirty-tirst day of December E at Goderich the 25th day of Dr, 1870. - ROBERT 01RBOS-lS,, Warden. - : A.D.A t'ounty Cierk. 157-2- FARIVII FOR SALE CHEAP - jN DERSIGNEI) offers for sale, r, Lot NO. 30, Con, 15, tavenship e'o, of Huron; about 70 acres of are timbered with hardwood, of which are chopped, the bale Mbered with cedar and pine of quality. There is sufficient of T timber to pay- for the whole lot will be sold CHEAP FOR r On time. Title indieputable_ ier particulars apply (if by let - td) to Adam Gray, Planing Mill, :or to the undersigned proprie- ERICK GRAY„ Tbareesford, P. O. rd, Nast. 9, 1870: MON EY .000 TO LEND. E the above aura on hand for mut on good Farm Security, at • cent., -Private Funds.. JOHN S. PORTER, July 25, 1S70. 139. -- ST RAY SHEEP. into the premises of the sub- ier, en Lot No. 1, Con. 1, Hay, id lamb. The owner is request- ve property, pay charges, and :same away. WM. SMALE, Exeter P. 11 gr.,. •ta.. xpto5it MACLEAN BROTHERS,' "Freedom in Trade—Liberty in Religion—Equality in Civ VOL 4, NQ j3, 1 Rights". SEAFORTH, FRIDAY, DECEMBER 23, 1870. EDITORS & PUBLISHERS. WHOLE NO. 15% BUSINESS CARDS. MEDICAL, TRA.CY, M. D., Ceroner for the „ County of Huron. Office and Re- sidence -One door East of the Methodist Episcopal Church. Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868, \_53 ly D 'C. MOORE, M. D., C. M. (Graduate ne, of McGill Univereity, Montreal,) Physician, Surgeon,&c. Office and realdence Zurich, Ont. • Zurich, Sept. 7th, 1870. = 144 INES STEWART, M. D., C. M., J. -Graduate of ..McGill University, Montreal. Physician, Surgeon; &c. Of- fice and residence :-At MR. Coox's. • Varna. TIE. W. R. SMITH, Physician, Sur - jay geon, etc. Office, -Opposite Scott • Robertson's Residence -.Main-street, North. Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1863. 5311y AIM L. VERCOE, M. D. CI- M., Physi- cian, Surgeon, etc. Office and Re- sidence, corner of Market and High Street, inamediately in rear of Kidd's Store. ° Seaforth, Feb. 4th. 1870.53 ly lrAR. CAMPBELL, Coroner for the I ()thee and residence, over Corby's, corner store, Main street, Sea - forth. Office deli, Saturday. 159 LEGAL. 111.1 F. WALKER. Atterney-at-Lair • and Solicitor -in -Chancery, Con- veyancer, Notary Public, &c. Office of the Clerk of the "?eace, Court House, Goderich, Ont. N.B.-Money to lend at 8 per cent on Farm Lands. Goderich, • jan'y. 28. 1870. • if se AUGHEY & If OLMSTEAD, in Barristers, Attorneys at Law, Sol- icitors in Chancery an* .Insolvency, No- taries Public and Conv4ancers. Solici- • tors for the R� Bank, Seaforth, Agents for the Canada Life Assurance Co. N. B.-830,000 to lencl *at 8 per cent. Farms, Houses and Lots for sale. Seaforth, Dec. Ilth, 1868. 53-tlf. TIONSON & MEYER, Barristers and Attorneya,t Law, Solicitors in Chan- • -cery and insolvency, Conytyancers, No- • aries Pablic; etc. Offices,-Seaforth and Wroxeter. Agentsfor the Trust and Loan Co. of Tipper Canada, and the Col- onial Securities Co. of London. England. Money at 8 per cent; no commsision, -charged. TAS. R. nE(SO, R. W. C. REYER. Seaforth, Dec. 10th 1868. 53-ly DENTAL. G. W. HARRIS, L. D. S. Arti ficial Dentures inserted. with all the latest inaprove- • -me.nts. The greatest tare taken fortne pseservation of decayed and tender teeth. Teeth extraeted . withost pain. Rooms •,over McDougall's Store. • Seaforth. Dec. 14, 1868. ly. HOTELS. COMMERCIAL HOTEL, Ainleyville, kei James Laird, proprietor, affords first-class accommodation for the travel- • ling pubde. The larder and bar are al- ways supplied with the best the rnarke ts afford. • Excellent stabling in connec- tion. • A inleyville, April 23, 1869. ONX'S HOTEL (LATE SHARP'S) 11. The undersigned begs to thank the public for the liberal patronage awarded to higi in times past in the hotel business, and. also to inform them that he has again , resumed business in the above stand, where he will be happy 'to have e call from old friends, and many new ones. THOMAS KNOX. Seaforth, May 5, 1870. 126-tf. lop RITI SII EX CHAN GE HOTEL, G od- erich, Oer_.1 J. CALLAwAY, PRoPRI- . x.roIt - J. S. WILLIAMS, (late of Ameri- can Hotel, Warsaw, N. Y.) Manager. • This hotel has recently been newly fur- nished, and refitted throughout, and is • now one of th,e most comfortable and ceni- modious in he Province. Good Sample Rooms for Commercial T•ravellers. - Terms liberal. •• Goderich, April 14, 1870. 123-tf.. MISCELLANEOUS. filint Anktiu,R6T, ensedzkuumon- , eer for the County of Huron. God- • erick, Ont- Particular attention paid to the sale of Bankrupt Stock: Farm Stock Sales attended en Liberal Terms. Goods Appraised, Mortgages Foreclesed, Landlord's Warrant Fs Executed. Also, Bailiff First Division Court for Huron. Goderich, June 901..1869 76. tf G"W. McPHILLIPS, Provineial Land. Surveyors, Civil Enbineers„ etc. All manner of Conveyancing done with neatness and dispatch. G. McPlaile" lips, Commissioner in B. IL Office - Next door south of Sharp's Hotel, Sea - forth. Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1868. 53 - ly MAILL & CROOKE, Architects, etc. 0• Plans and Specifications drawn cor- rectly. Carpenter's, Plasterer's. and Ma son's work, measured and valued Office Over J. C. Detlor & Co.'s store, Court - House Square, Goderich. • Goderich, Ape;1 2:1, 1869. 79-ly [ 1 BEFORE SEDAN. 1 ' "The deed hand clasped a letter." W ii ' Correspondence. .t: e in thui leafy place, -.quiet I‘ Les, : - Co d, with his sightless eyes. Turned:to the skiee • but another dead : you an Bay is said. I . . rrylhi - dy hence, ---- Kings must have slaves; gs e1ub to eminence - :„ Over, m 's graves ; this man's eye are dim ;-- Throve the ea h over him. What totakthat White you touched, There at' his Ride! Parr his hand had clutched Tight ere he Iied. :- Meesageox.„.Wish 9iay be ;- Sneoothen it and see. I ar Hardly the avo,at of us ° ; Here could have smiled 1 ---- Only the te melons ' Words of aichild ; Prattle, that has f1or stops Just a few ruddy 1rops. , 1 , Load -she is sad to miss, . Morning aud night, Hisl-her dear 'lather's kiss; l Tries to be bright, Good to mamma. and, sweet ; That is nil;. " Marguerite." , the Iead • ed th pain ! hat bled - slain ! But no ; e it so. Ki So • * Ali," if! besid Siumb . , Al4 if the hearts •• Slept with th If the grief died ! . Death will not ha - 1100CHING IT 1—THE BUSH, - 4 LI -11E IN SANADA ! BY. MRS 11, OODIE. ur CHAP ourney e Country. " Ali,. for a plece h re I might greet " it.trecn Id relievethe eursing 4eight a y hea t. But with sae many strang eyes glo. ering upon m , I tak' shanie t ysel' tgreet.' Il " Ah, Jeanie, my p ir woman," saa tie hue) and,- guts in her 'hand, "y aun bear up ; 'fig Go 's will ; and sin f 1 crea urea like us ia Ina rep* Bu h, ma am," tit' i o me, "we hav s ir hearts the day ! At Brockville we t ok in a party o , ladies, which somewhat relieved the mo- otorty of the ea in, 'a d I was amuse y listening to t eijr 1ively prattle, an t e little gossip itli which they strov te while away th t di m of thevoyage. he day was too L.teeiam to go upondecia thunder and ih tlij no-, accorrypanie • 'th torrents of ain. Amid the confus I 1 n of elements, !tried to get a peep a tie Lake of the linisa d Isles ; but th • riving storm b ended all objects int ore, and I ratur ed w t and disappoint -e to m berth, We aseed Kingston a idnight, and lot all oLir lady passeng e s but woe - T e ga1 continued unti aybrea ' and ms nd con -fusion pre ailed a lnight, w el was greatly in c eased by the ¶1piOri us conduct of •.1c1 Irish migrant,ew io thought fit t ake ,his bed upon t ie mat before th c bin dolor. He .Bang, e shouted, he ha 1, ✓ nguadihis country e en the politica state of the Emerald is- e, in a style whic was loud but not los uent. Sleep wa, 1 possible, whilst his stentorian lung c 'AMU ed to pour forth nmeaning soun, s Our 'Dutch steliVa de s was highly en raged. His conduct, the said, . " wa isrfectly ondacent." She opened th door,. e4d bestoWi g pon him severe 'As, bade him get a ay "out of that," o she wi!iuld compl 'n o the captain. In - answer to I th s emonstrance, h eaught ter by the foot and pulled he clown. trr h en wav g the tattered re- mains of his straw h t i the air he shout , ed with an Air of tri h, ' ' Git out with , 7 you, you: ould witch ! Shure the ladies, t e purty clarlints, ever sent you wid t at ' glylmessage to Pat,' who loves them so entirely th t he manes to kape Watch ower them hr ugh the blessed night." I Then ma .'in a ludicrous bow, the continued, " Lad es, I'm at your sar- '.tviiocne f:rIo only wish I o ld et a dispense - the Pope, an 'I cl marry yeas all." he stewardess bolted the door, alul the Mad fellow kept up such a racket that we all wished him at the bottom of the Onta-rio. 1 olThe following 4y y a wet and gloomy. he storm had pr tr ct d -the length. of i r voy e for several hours, and it was idnigh when 1 nd. d at Cobourg. - CAA TER IV. I Tom Wiltso 'n E Igration- l , "Of ail odd fella s, ethis fellow was h in sit s, bu•n vcr mewh his . the, oddestt dayt it I have seen many strange fis equal." 1 , , P About a month previous to our emigra- tion to Canada, ink Husband said to me, "you need not ex I e4t nie home to din- ner to -clay ; I al, going with my friend Wilson t� Y to hear Mr. 0-- -- - lect*re 011 emigr tion to Canada. He has just turned. rom the North Ameri- tceandiepabrov nces, a, d his lectures, are at n - vast nu ers -of persons who are anxious to obt in information on the sublect I got a n )te from your friend 1 B— this mo s sg,begging me to come over and lis'en to his palaver ; and as Wilson thinks o emigration in the Spring, he will be II y alking companion. " Tom1Wilscin goii g to Canada !" said I. as the door closed on my better -half. "What a backwood r-iian he will make? What a less to the s ngle ladies of S---' ! el What will they do balls and picnics ?" One of my sister , who was writing at a table near me, was highly amnsed at this unexpected announcemeut. She fell back id her chair and indulged in la long and hearty laugh. I --aIII certain that most of my readers would have joined in her laugh had they known the I object which provoked her mirth. "Poor Tom is such a dreamer,' said my .sister, ." it would be an act of harity in Moodie . to persuade him fro undertaking Such a wild-goose chase -; nly that I limey my good brother is -possessed with the same without him at their mania." "Nay, God forbi said I. hope this Mr. th the unp nnunce- able name, will d egust them with his eloquence ; for writes uaetword, in his droll way, that he is a c eerie vul- gar fellow, and laCks the- it' of a bear. Oh ! I am Certain the will re- turn quite sickened with the anadian project." Thus I laid the flat ring unc- tion to my soul, little dream nglthat I and mine Ahould share in the st ange ad- • ventures of this oddest of all dd creetues it might be made a subject oT c rious er.• quiry to those who delight • man ab- surdities, if ever there Wa a haracter drawn in works of fiction so xt aval gent- ly ridiculous as some which ai y experi- ence presents to our view. V have en- countered people -in the bro&¼d through - fares of life more eccentric tha ever we read of in books; people wh4, a all their foolish sayings and doings vier duly re- corded, would vie with the d • Hest cre- ations of Hood, or George Cole u an, and put to shame the flights of Ba on Mun- ohausen. Not that TOM Wi on was a romancer ; oh, no ! He was he very prose of prose, a man in a i4ist, who seemed afreid of moving about or fear of knocking his head against a ree, and finding a halter suspended on it branch- es --a, man as helpless and as in Went as a baby. Mr. Thomas, or Tom Wilson, as he was familiarly called by all h's friends and acquaintances, :was the son of a gen- tleman who once possessed a la ge land- ed property- in the neighbourh od ; but an extravagant and profligate expendi- ture of the income which he der ved from a,fine estate which had descen ed from father to son through many ge erations, had greatly reduced' the circumlitances of the elder Wilson: Still, his family held a certain rank and standing in !their na- tive county, of which his evil courses, bad as they. were, could not Wholly de- prive them. The young peppe-and a very largo family they made of one and daughters, hrelve in number were ob- jects of interest and commissera ion to all who knew' them, while the worthless father was justly held in cent Mpt and detestation. Our hero was tits: young- est of the six sons; and from .is child- hood he was famous for his h. hing-td- doishness. He was too indol • et to en- gage heart and soul in the man y sports of his comrades ; and he neve thought it necessary to commence lea ning his lessons until the school had ben in an hour. • As he grew up to mans estate, he might be seen dawdling as out in a black frock -coat, • jean trails rs, and white kid gloves, making laay bows to the pretty girls of his acquaint nee ; or dressed in a green shooting-jet, with a gun across his shoulder, sauntering down the wooded lanes,. with a brown spaniel dodging at his heels,. an looking as sleepy and indolent as his in ter. • The slowness of all Tom's m vements was strangely contrasted with hs slight, elegant, and symmetrical figu e; that looked as if it only awaited th will of the owner to be the most -active piece of human machinery that ever res onded to the impulses of youth and heal b. But then, his face! What pencil could de- lineate features at once so 4owiical and lugubrious -features that o e moment expressed the most solemn seriousness, and the next, the most grotesque and ab- surd abandonment to mirth ? In him, all extremes appeared to meet ; the min was a _contradiction to himse f. Tom was a person of few w-ords, a d 80 in- tensely lazy' that it required a s song ef- fort of will to enable him to an wet- the questions of inquiring friends; d when at length aroused to eiercise is collo- quial powers, he performed the ank in so original' a manner that it never felled to upset the gravity of the inte rogater. When he mks& his large, pr rament, leaden -coloured eyes from th,e ground, and. looked the inquirer steadi y in the face, the effect was irresisti le ; the laugh would eorrie, -do your b st to re- sist it. • Poor Torn took this. mistim d merri- ment in very good part, generally'. answer- ing with a ghastly contortion which he meant for a smile, or, if he di trofble himself to find words, with, "W 11, that's funny! What makes yet laugh .1 - At me I suppose ? I don't onder at it; I often laugh at myself." Tom would hang been a trees re to an undertaker, He would have been rebrat- ed as a mute ; he looked as if he ad been born in a shroud, androcked in a coffin. The gravity with whiee he could answer a ridiculous or impertinent 'question completely disarmed and turned the shafts of malice back upon his opponent. If Tom was himself an object of ridicule to many, he had a way of quietly ridicul- ing others that bade defiance 1) all com- petition. He could quiz with ja smile, and put down insolence with an incredu-a. bus stare. A grave wink fron those dreamy eyes would destroy the lveraeity of a travelled dandy forever. Tom was not without use i4 his day and geneiation ; queer and. aw ward as he was, he was the soul of tr th and honour. You might suspect hs sanity -a matter always deubtful but his honesty ef heart and purpose never. When you met TQM in the st eets, he was dressed with such neatness ind care (tc be sure it took him half a day to make his toilet), that it led many persons to imagine thal this very uglyyoting man considerell himshlf an ' Adonis • and I must confess that I rather incined to this opinion. He always psced the pub- lic streets with a slow, deliberate tread, and with his eyes fixed intently on the .Fround—like a man who iad lost his ideas, and was diligently employed in searching for them. I eha ced to meet him one day in this dreamy mood. • "How do you do, Mr. Wilson?" Ho stared at me for several minutes, as if doubtful of my presence or identity. • "What was that you said ?" I repeated the question; and he an- swered with one of his incredulous smiles, " Was it to me you szok Oh, lam quite ell, or I ghoul ncilt be walking queery the way, did you ee my dog ?" "Th y say he resembles e. He's a og, too; but I nev r could find out the likeness, Good nig t ?" • This was at noonday; b4 Tom had- a habit o taking light for d &nem, and darkne s for light, in all hel did or said'. He m st have had -different eyes and ears, a d a different way of seeing, hear- ing an comprehending, then is possess- ed by t e generality of his tpecies ; and to such a length did he carry this ab- stracti n of soul &Lid sense, that he would often leave you abruptly in the middle of a sente lee ; and if he chanced to meet e weeks after, he would resume versation with the very word at e had cut short the thread of emirs- . , A lady one told him in her, a lad of his donkey at singer of answer, but tree months ter him on ccols.ted her ion him so the co which your di jest th twelve Braha that n started after s the . sa with 0'1 "Yo Miss Braha Braha Wonder e t hex oungest bro ears old, had callet , in honor of the gr me. Tem made n abruptly away. T e happened to"encou e spot,1 when he - any previous salute were telling me ab ut a donkey, , a1onkey of ',jut brother's , I think -you calle 1 him -yes, ; a strange name fo an' ass! I what the great fr. Braham avoul(l ay to that. Ha, ha, ha !" • r memory must bee cellent, Mr. Wilson; to enable you to re ember such a triflin circumstance all th a time." " ing, do you call i ? Why, I have th ught of nothing els ever gime." • From traits such a th.es my readers • will be tempted to imagine him brother to the niirial who had dtrel • so long in his thou hts ; but there wer times when lie suri ounted this strang absence of mind, a d could talk and ab as sensibly as othe folks. On t e death of his father he emigrat- ed to N w South Wales, w trived. t doze away seven valuele s existence, sufferin servant to rob him of eve finally o burn his dwelling, to his n tive village, dresse 11 11 ere he con - ears of his his convict thing, and He returned as an Ital- ian men licant, .with a mo ey perched upon hi , shoulder, and pia g airs of his own eo • position upon a Mir y-gurdy. In this di guise he sought thndwelling of an oldachelor uncle, and solicited his charity But who that:h. d ever seen our frie d Tom could ever forget him? Nature ad no counterpart o one who in mind m d form was alike or &al. The good-na ured old soldier, t a glance, discas-e ed. his hopeful nepli w, received him int hie house with la dness, and had afto ded him an asylu u ever since. this period of mischief Travelling in a stage- nvented in ntered into ent farmer •uth Wales, One litt e anecdote of him a strate the quiet lov ich he was imbued. to London ailways were not 'n those days), he tion with an intell' next him ; New S esidence in the colo y. forming g topic. A dissen ting minister pene4 to be his v -s-a-vis, and annoyed him by making several ent remarks, sud enly asked h a sneer, = hew ma4y years he there. n," returned Tom, lin a solemn thout deigning a glance at his n. ught so," responde • the other, him hands into • is breeches "And- pray, sir, what were there for ?" ling pigs," returne the incor- orn, with the gravis eta judge. rde were scarcely pronounced questioner called 0 e coachman referring to ride et tside in the seat within with a hief. Tom njoyed the hoax, w ich he used ith the merriest f all grave Besides -being a dev ted admirer ir sex, and alveay imagining n love with some • nattainable he had a passion e craze for music, nd played upon th violin and flute wi h considerable test and execu- tion. TIue sound of a favou 'te meloely operated upon the breathing -automaton like ma lc, his frozen faculti s experienc- ed a-sual en thaw, and the s rearn of life leaped a 4 gambolled for a while with uncontr liable vivacity. e laughed, danced, ang, andmade love in a breath, committ ng a thousand madj vagaries to make ye acquainted with hs existence. My h sband had a remarkjably sweet - toned fhite, and this flute Tom regarded with a species of idolatry. I "1 break the Tenth Conamandnaent, Moodie, whenever I hear you play upon . that flute. Take care of your black wife," (a name he had bestowed up n the covet- ed treasure,) "or I shall cert inly run off with her:" "1 am half afraid of you, om. I am sure if I were to die, and le ve you my ould be too black wife as a legacy, you much everjoyed to lament m death." ess Such was the strange, hellwhim- apated an sequel will sical being who now con nf 'emigratian to Canada. Ho he succeed - will ill with w from coach ( vented con.vers who sa and his the lead who ha wile ha rnPe i him, wi had bee "Sev tone, w couipa ‘5 I th thrustin pockets. you sen "Ste rigible The w when th to stop, rain to greatly to tell faces. of the f himself beauty, • • ed in t e speculation the show. • It was late in the levenin husband and his friend Tom turned f om I had hot supp r and a cup of coffe long wal . and they did am el before my Wilson re - provided a after their e justice to my care. Tom was in unur flatly - high spi Is, and appeared' wholly bent upon his 4sinadian expedition. , s_ "Mr. C— must have been very ele- que. t, Mr. Wilson," said 1, " to engage you attention for so many hours." 1111erhaps he was," returned Tom, after a p4iae of some mrnutos, -during which , he sem�d to be groping f r words in the salteieller, having deli. rately turno oti • out its.contents upon th table -cloth.- " We were hungry after our long walk, manTed,nrwth.e,ha, gatvielis Ia.? Ie-xcellent dinner." paid to it during the discussion. But, substance of his lecture." seenied to think so, by the attention they come, Wilson, give my wife someaccount Moodie, laughing ; "an'd his audience of the intellectual part of the entertain-. " It was the substance after all," said "But that had nothing to do with the I give an account of the lecture? Why, my dear fellow, I • never listened to one word of it !" "I thought you went to Y ---ton pur- pose to obtain information, on the subject of emigration to Canada ?" "Well, and so 1 did; but when the fellow pulled out his pamphlet, and said that it Contained the substance of his lec- ture, and would only cost a shilling, I thonght that it was better to secure the • subntance .than endeavour to catch the shadow -so I bought the book, and spar- • ed myself the pain of listening to the oratory of the writer. Mrs. -Moodie, he had a shocking delivery, a drawlina, vul- gar voice; and he spoke witla such a nasal twang that I could not bear to look at hint, or listen to him. He made such gram- matical blunders, that my sides ached • with laughing at hint. Oh, I wish you could have seen the wretch ! But here is the document, written in the mune style in whichit was spoken. Read it: you have a rich treat in etere." I took the pamphlet, not a little amus- ed at his desoription of Mr. 0—, for whom I felt an uncharitable dislike. "And how did you contrive to enter - t tin yourself, Mr. Wilson, during his long address ?" "By thinking how many fools were collected together, to listen to one greater than than the rest. By the way, Moodie. did you notice farmer Flitch ?" " No; where did he sit ?" " ,At the foot of the table. You must have seen him, he was too big to he over- looked. What a delightful squint he had! What a rediculous likeness there was be- tween him and the roast pig he was car- ving! I was wondering all dinner -time how that man contrived te cut up that pig; for one eye was fixed upon the ceil- ing, and the other kering very affection- ately at me. It was very droll, was it not?" "And what do you intend doing with yourself when you arrive in Canada ?" said L' " Find out some large hollow,ti•ee, anrt live, like Bruin in the winter, by sucking my paws. In the summer there will be plenty of mast and acorns to satisfy the wants of an abstemious fellow." "But, joking apart, my dear fellow,' said my husband, anxious to induce him to abandon a scheme so hopeless, "do you think that -you are at all qualified for. a life of toil and hardship ?" Are yott ?" returned Tom, raising his large, bushy, black eyebrows to the top of kits forehead, and fixing his leaden eyes steadfastly upon his interrogator, with an air of such absurd gravity that we burst into a hearty laugh. 4' Now what do you laugh for ?" I am sure T"asked you a very serious question." "But your method of putting it is so un- usual that you mast excuse as for laugh- " I don't want to weep," said Tom ; " but as to our qualifications, Moodie, I think them pretty equal. I know you think otherwise, but I will explain.. Let the see ; what was 1 going to say ?-ah, I have it, You go with the intention of clearing land, and working for yourself, and doing a great deal. I have tried that • before in New South Wales, and I know that it won't answer. Gentlemen can't -Work like labourers, and if they could, they woa't-it is not in them, and that you will find out. You expect by going to Canada, to make your fortune, or at least secure a comfortable independence. 1 anticipate no such results; yet I mean' to go, partlyliout of a whim, partly to sat- isfy my curiosity waether it is a better country than .New South Wales; and lastly, in the hope of bettering my con- dition in a small way, which at present • is so bad that it can searcely be worse. I mean to purchase a feria with the three hundred pounds I received last week froni the sale of -my father's property; and if the Canadian soil yields only half what Mr. C— says it does, I need not starve. But the refined habits in which you have been brought up, and your unfortunate literary propensities -(I say unfortunate, hecause you will sesdona meet people in a colony who can or will sympathize with you in these pursuits) -they will make you an object of mistrust and envy. to those who cannot appreciate them, and will be a source of constant mortification and disappointment to yourself. Thank God ! I have no literary propensities; but in spite of thelatter advantage, in all probability lishall ina,ke no exertion at alt; so that your energy, damped by disgust and disappointment, and my lazi- ness, will end in the same thing, and we shall both return like bad pennies to our native shores. But, as I have neither wife nor child to intolve in my failure, I think, without much self -flattery, that my prospects are better than yours." This was the longest speech I ever heard Torn utter; and, evidently aston- ished at himself, he sprang abruptly from the table, overset a cup of coffee into my lap, and wishing us good -day (it was eleven o'clock at night), he ran out of the house. (To ea CoNTINTI ED. ) VARIETIES. An Ottawa man troubled. Ilith a 436211, - chepped his toe off.' It is far better to =suffer than to lees the power of suffering. "But why, Pat did you enlist into the 34th Regiment ?" -" Och sure to be near my .brother who's in the 33rd." You have only put downisix pieces' in your programme, said a printer to =a con- cert manager, " Bat is enough, "replied the Manager, shrugging his shoulders "for in dis city they are nevairesatisfieti. without dey encore two, three, several i mes 'Would Ye plaee, mem," said Bridget, the other evening, "an' Pd like ye to 'hid me the loan of your white dress to - wear to a party. I do hate te be askin' ye fur borrowed clothes niver fit me like •my own." "What are you about'" inquired a lunatic of a cook, who was industriously stripping the feathers from a fowl. - "Dressing a chicken," answered the cook. -T should call this undressing," said the erazy fellow, in reply•. The cook looked reflective. e "I say, boy, stop that ox l" havn't got no stopper." "Well. head him them" " He's already headed, sir." "confound your impertinence, turn him !" e's right side out already, sir.' "Speak • to laim you rascal, you "Good morn - in dr. Ox." French marquis was riding out one daly, when he met an old priest trotting al ng contentedly on a quiet donkey. Id a !aka !" exclaimed. the marquis, "how go s the ass, good. father ?" "On horse - ba k, my son -on horseback," re•plied th priest. Bachelors," says Josh Billings, "are alWays abraggin' of their freedom ! Free- dom to darn their own stockings and poidtiss their own shins' I had rather be a widower once in two years, regular, than to be a grunting, old, hair -dyed bachelor for 'only ninety days." A pedlar was offering a Yankee clobk, finely varnished and coloured, to =a lady not remarkable for her personal beauty, "why, it is beautiful," said the vender, "Beautiful, indeed! A look at it abniast frightens me,". said the lady " Then m rm," replied' Jonathan, "I guess you'd be ter take one that ain't got no Iiooking s.ss servant girl in the town of A—, whose beauty formed matter of general adttairation and discussion, in passing a group of officers in the street heard one of ' them exclaim. to his fellows, " By heaven, she's painted." Turning round, she very quietly replied, "Yep sir; and by heaven only 1" The officer acknedw- le ged the force of the rebuke, and apolo- gis d. citizen 'of Arkansas, while on board of steamer on the Mississippi, was Mk - ed by a gentleman, "whether the raising of stock in Arkansas was attended by m ch difficulty or expense'" "0, yes, str nger-sthey suffer much from insectis." -` tweets! Why, what kind of inseets, pr ?" "Why, bears, catamounts, wolves, an such like insects."-' .1 faternal Solicitude -An old Highlabd wo an, whose son-in-law was much .4d - clic ed to intemperance,lecturing hiniAne da on his misconduct concluded with th following grave advice :7 -`Man, Rin- gt. I would like that you would behave wy 00 rsael' buy an ad new gathersui t a so, blackmitch oisai lel,se,iis i. aoa dr 1 ould like to hear tell o' your being de leunniat aitngmEtyxfurnaeorrdali.nary._ , "I have h so ething to do with collecting accounts 11: - kie, and if your rates are as difficult to all in as mine are, you must have bat- tle enough in your profession." "�h, mob, you're no' up to your - bUsiness..- You're but a green ban'; we could learn you. No' get your •account ; I Ca'cl in accounts when there was na,etking awn • • t° An lady was recently brought ee a, witness before a bench of magistrates, and when asked to take off her bonnet, obstinately refused to do so, saying: " There's no law compelling a vvoinan -to take off her boarmet." 'Oh' imprudently repte,d. one Of 'the Magistrates, "y know the, law, do you' Perhaps you would like to come up and sit here and teach us ?" "No I thank you sirsiin, the woman, tartly, "there are old wonelen notl.d," him to go grease i ethneou waggongIIthere and said, "All the grace is gone, bad luck to it." "Why, Pat, I give you enough to grease five or six- waggons? "If you plase, sir, I only got half -over the top of the waggon when the gra.ce run oat." Why, you blundering fool, I meant that you should grease thewheels, not the waggon." "Sure. you tould me to grace the waggon, sir. "Good mornin,g, Mr. Smith, on the sick list to day" "Yes sir, ; got the Do you ever shake !" "Yes, " shake like thunder" "When do you shake aanin ? "Can't say when -shake every day. Why do you ask?" "0. nothing in particular --only I thought if you shook so bad, I'd like to stand. by and see if you avould't shake the fifteeia dollards out 4 your pocket which yon Pat's masteree He returned after a while r. Ilaveo.Fa wed:hel'ate 0hlo:ogiirs.? lilre of a speech in the g iHn go uoaam na the e .. monsw influence, exercised hease ewby tl in; Government over the members, observed that it was generally understood that there was a member employed by the nloinisteorsg. asliermnae thereawas manager IfouEe of cmmn it general 'eq, of "Name him, name_ him ! said Mr. Fox, "I don't choose te name him, though I might do it as easily as to say Jack Robinson." John Robinson was really the member's name. 11