The Huron Expositor, 1870-09-30, Page 1OTTER
ivanea sne-
ada
sfactiei when
:TERS SAWING
LtTPLE GIANT
emelLts includ-
tet e
news-,
Gang Plowa.
Elows,_&c.
NEERII1 G
OR AND EX -
ROVED
EELS, LATH
MILLS
-of
the best con. -
se.
[ to.
IMAMS, ,
Mitchell, P. 0.
. 144-1y—
TEAS
I3Y THE
mipany
1' and comparison
e prices wiliprove
alado any at 60c, ;
to 75c_ our 80e.
. green equal to
[rged, Our Black
xed same prices.
Japan (all unco
tall. at • wholesale
5 Pound packages.
Company give
le we are now do -
:4 then', (Mee, now
>Li BUY;
ats, parties are in -
o see hew they like
have no agents,
pies of Teas of any
ill send them by
moreto any Rail-
- paid. and collect
'utnp m pound,
COMPANY,
ge, Street Toronto.
ARMSTRONG
M44:- m—
of 25 acres, 21
h a aood, log house,
brahr'ard, and a first
east corner. of lot
(atliett„ Ca. Huron.
Il[asa.d, 6 miles from
This: farm is well
be sold either with
For farther particu-
the premise
iNOS MORTON.
131-tf
"0 RENT.!
101.5, FOR SALE,
Saw Mill, all
order.
Tar run of Stones,
and all the Ma-
im. There is in
in abundant aupply-
e year round.
in the centre of a
a and a rare chance
ais of embarking in
pportunity of HoR-
ases, all the works
Water,
ated Six miles from
anal Eleven from
iads leading to each
Lv to the proprietor,
P. eft
WM. TURNER
140—
(ERS WANTED.
ed immediataly, to
'At and good wages
preferred. . None
COVENTRY.
145-3—
G OTHER
THE ONLY
SURE CURE
DOSE ONLY
SO DROPS,
No BANG
OF VIET
REQUIRED,
'ALL FORMS OF
LION X ONCE.
t SOLD- BY Al4L,.
LtRITOOTSTS,,
k
E HICKSON & P•d' is
dealers generally.
WM. F. LUXTON,
"Freedom in .74wade—Libert2j in Religion—.4vali,ty in Civil. Rfights".
VOL. 3, NO. 43,-
EDTIOI & PUBLISHER.
SEAFORTHI FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 1870.
BUSINESS CARDS.
MEDICAL.
Tip TRACY, M. D., Coroner for the County of
_Lt. Huron. Office and Residence --One door
East of the Methodist Episcopal Church.
Seaford', Dec 14th, 1868 53-ly
RC. MOORE, M. D. (Graduate of MeGill
-. University, Montreal,) Physician, Surgeon,
Ac. Office and, residence Zurich, Ont. .
Zurich, Sept. 7th, 1870. 144
JAMES STEWART, M. D., C. M., Graduate
of McGill University, Montreal. Physician,
Surgeon, &c. Office and residence :—At Ma.
.Coo',Varna.
DR.
W. R. SMITH, Physician, Surgeon', etc.
Office, --Opposite Veal's Grocery. Resi-
dence—Main-street, North. ,
Seaforth, Dec. 14, 180. ' 53- 1 y
TT L. VERCOE, M. D. C. M.-, Physician, Sur-
'geon, etc., Office and Residence, corner
of Market and High Street, immediately in rear
of Kidd & MeMulkin's Store.
Seaford', Feb. 4th. 1870. 53-1y.
JCAMPBELL, M, D. C. M., (Graduate of Mc-
!) . Gill University, Montreal) leysicia,n, Sur-
geon, etc., Seaforth. Office and Residence—Old
Peat Office Building, up stairs, where he will be
found by night or day when at home.
Seaforth, July 15th, 1869. • 84-ly
LEGAL.
PF. -WALER. Att6rney-at-Law and So -
K
licitor-in-Chancery, Conveyancer, Notary
Public, &c. Office of the Clerk of the- Peace, •
Court House, Goderich, Ont.
N.B.---Money to lend at 8 per cent on Farm
Laaids. -
Goderich, Jan'y. 28. 1870. 112-1y.
Ayr 'CAUGHEY & HOLMSTEAD; Barristers,
Attorneys at Law, Solicitors in Chancery
-and. insolvency, Notaries Piiblic ana]. Conveyanc-
ers. Solicitors for the R. C. llatik, Seaforth,
Agents for the Canada Life Assurance Co.
N. B..—$30,00 t� lend at 8 per cent. Farms,
Housesand Lots for sale.
Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868. 53-tf.
"DENSON & MEYER, Barristers, andAttorney
AD a Law, Solicitors in Chancery and insolv-
ency, Conveyancers, -Notaries Public, etc. Of-
fices,—Seaforth aacl Wroxeter. Agents for the
:Trust and Loan Co. of Upper Canada, and. the
Colonial Securities Co. of London, England:
tas Money at 8 per cent; no commission, charged.
TAS. H. BENSON, H.W. C. MEYER.
Seaforth, Dec. 10th 1868. 534y
DENTAL.
G. W. HARRIS, L. D. 5 Arti-
ficial Dentures inserted. with all the
latest improvements. The greatest
care taken for the preservation of decayed and
tender- teeth. Teeth extracted without pain.
Rooms over Collier's Store.
Saeforth. Dec 14, 1868.
HOTELS.
O0
MMER0
1AL HOTEL, 'Ainleyvill , james
Laird, proprietor, affords airst-ciass accom-
modation for, the travelling public. The larder
and bar are always supplied with the best the
markets afford.- stablingin comae don
,Ainleyville, April 23, 1869. , 7D -f.
ONX'S HOT EL (LATE SHARP'S) kill. un-
dersigned begstothank the public for the
liberal- patronage awarded to him in times -past
in the hotel business, and also to _inform them
that he has again resumed business in the above
stand, where he will be happy tc; have -a call
from old friends, and many new ones. '
THOMAS KONX.
Seaforth, May 5, 1870. 126-tf.
•
R. ROSS, Proprietor New Dominion Hotel,
, begs to inform the people of Sea,forth and
thetravellingcommunity generally, that hekeeps
first-class accommodation in every thing required
by travellers. A good stable and willing hostler
. always on hand, Regular Boarders will receive
every necessary attention. .
Seaforth, Feb. 8th, 1869.
63-1y.
1-01:1A
DRITISH E NGE HOTEL, G ODERICH,
1.) 0 -NL, J. 'CALLAWAY, PROPRIETOR ; J: 8.
Wmaratrs, (late of American Hotel, Warsaw, N.
Y.-) Manager. This hotel has recently been ne-vv-
ly furnished, and refitted throughout, .and is DOW
one of the most eninforta,ble and commodious in
the Province. Good. Sample Rooms for Commer-
cial Travellers. T,erms liberal.
Goderich, April 14, 1870. 123-tf.
MISCELLANEOUS.
0 HARP'S LIVERY STABLE, MAIN ST.,
0 8 EAPOR TEL First Class Horses and Carriages
always on hand at reasonable terms.
R .L, SHARP ,Proprietor.
,
Seaforth, May 5th, 1870.
MAILL & CROOKE, Architects, etc. .Plans
and Specifications drawn correctly. Parpen-
ter's, Plasterer's, and Mason's work, measured
and valued. Office—Over J. C. Detler & Co 's
eaetore, Court -House Square, Goderich.
Goderich, April 23, 1869. 79-1y,
& W. McPHILLIPS, Provincial Land Sur-
veyors, Civil Enaineers, etc All manner
of Conveyancing clone with neatness and dispatch.
G. McPhillips, Commissioner in B. R. Office—
Next door south of Sharp's Hotel, Seaforth.
Seaforth, Dec. 148 1868.
53-ly .
1.)
HAZLEHURST, Licensed Auctioneer for
the County of Huron, Goderich, Ont
Particular attention paid to the sale of Bankrupt
Stock. Farm Stock, Sales attended on Liberal
Terms. Goods Appraieed,Mortgages Foreclosed,'
Landlord's Warrand" Eiceffuted:— Also, Bailiff
First Division Court fol.. Huron.
Goderich, June 9th,•1869. 76. tf
THE MESSAGE.
Oh, bear a message, gentle wind—
And linger not upon thy Way—
To one who longs for me to -day;
Her ear, by city noise unclinned.
Will hear thy gentle whisper'hear
And understand thy fairy tone,
Which speaks of one who sits alone,.
Whom thoughts of her alone can cheer.
I will not give -thee words to bear;
In passing thou hest read my heart;
Bear that to her who has the art
To spell the utterance of the air.
aas•et
DON'T CROWD.
Don't crowd; this world is broad enough
. For yon as well as me ;
The doors of art are opened wide,
The realm of thought is free.
Of all the earth's places you are right
To choose the best you can,
Prdvided that you do not try
To crowd some other man.
What matter though you scarce can coitnt
r Your piles of golden ore,
While he canahardly strive to keep
Gaunt famine from his door;
Of willing hands and honest heart
"-Alone should man be proud;
Then give him all the room he needs,
And never try to crowd.
Don't crowd, proud Miss, your dainty silk
Will glisten none the less -
Because it conies in contact with
Ea beggar's tattered dress.
, This lovely world was never made
For you and me alone;
A pauper has a right to tread
The pathway to a throne.
Don't kill the good from out your heart
By fostering all that's bad,
But give to every virtue roots,
The best that maybe had;
'Be each day's recbrd such, a one
That yoirmay well be proud;
Give each his right, give each his room,
And never try to crowd.
11.1.111.1111111.1111MMINIMININIF
FALL OF NAPOLEON i.
The incidents that attended. the final desc
Iromathe French throne of Napoleon I. are end
ed with fresh interest at the moment of the do
fall of his nephew. ItTisfair to remember, in
timating the comparative' difficulties by wh
the two men were surrounded, that Napoleon I
ascended the throne at about the same age
which Napoleon 1. was finally overthrown, a
that the reign of the former as Emperor was abo
double in years that of the latter. Napoleon I
weilded the sceptre about as long as his predec
• sor, LoiuS Philippe—that is to say, a few mont
short of eighteen years. So far as credit is d
for maintaining control during a long period, ov
an exceptionally turbulent and excitable peopl
Napoleon IIL` deserves a large share of it. U
like his Uncle, who abdicated, he was dethroned
his absence by the act of the people. Paris nev
turned upori' him •while present; and althou
his imputed saying that he will return thithe
' • not to give a reckoning but to etact one," m
be the:utterance of -resentful despair, we must n
forget thatfrom 1852 he was only in Paris as
reigning sovereign.
Napoleon I. thoroughly expected to have w
the battle of Waterloo. His exulting eicla.m
tion on. seeing the English Army, on the mornin
of the 18th of June, drawn up on the heights o
posite the eminence of La Belle Alliance, "A
la,st, then, I have thesie English in my grasp," e
tirely represented his anticipations of triump
Of his, subsequent observations on the subjec
those made to O'Meara, at St. Helena, are amon
the clearest and most decisive. °
"1 told him," said O'Menra. "That Lor
Wellington had determined never to quit the ba
tle field aZiue.'"
"He coald not leave it,' replied Na,polcon
"he, could-na retreat. He would have been de
stroYed with his svhole array. He said so him
self to that cavalry officer who was wounded.
Grouchy had come up at the time instead of th
Prussians, not a man would have esca,ped.."
O'Meara asked if he had not believed for
long time that the • Prussians who advanced o
his right were Grouchy's diiision he replied :
"To be sure I did ; and I can even now scarce
ly account for the [reason why it was not, Grou
chy's division instead of them."
O'Meara then asked him what he supposed
would have been thesevent if neither Grouchy no
the Prussians had come up that day—if it would
not have been a drawn battle—whether both ar-
mies would have kept their ground?
was his reply, "the English armywould
have been destroyed. It was defeated before
midday. I should have gained everything. I
beat the Prussians, but accident, or more likely
destiny, decided that Lord Wellington should
gain it, and he did so. He was fortunate--acci-
eat and destiny -favoured him. I could scarcely
ave believed he would have given me battle, be -
use, if he had retreated, as he ought to have
one, to Antsverp, I must have been overwhelna-
by armies of three or 'four hundred thousand
en coming against me whom I could not possi-
y have resisted. Besides, if they intended to
ve battle, it was the greatest eoglioneria in the
orld to seperate the Prussian and English ar-
es; they ought to have been united, aud I can-
t. conceive the reason of their seperation. It
as also coglioneria in him to hazard a battle in a
ace where, if defeated, all_ must have been lost,
r he could not retreat. He would have been al-
gether destroyed. He suffered himself to be
rprised by Me. He ought to have had all his
my encamped from the beginning of June, as he
st have Irown that intended to attack him;
might have lost everything by it • it was a
at fault oil part; but he has been fortu-
te, and everything he did will meet with ap-
-use. My intentions were to destroy the Eng -
h army. Thi I knew would produce an imme-
te change of Ministry. The indignation
hist the Ministry for having cainiejd. the loss of
000 of the flower of the English army, of the
ns of first families and. others who would have
riihed there, would have excited such a papu-
conimotion that they would. have been turn -
Out. The people would, have said: What is it
us who is on the throne of France Louis or
paean. ? * * The English would have made -
e. * The Saxons, Bavarians, Belgians,
Wurtembergers and others would have joined
me. The Russians- would have made -peace. I
should have been quietly seated: on the throne."
The effect of the loss of Waterloo on Napoleon
was almost maddening. He raved in. alternate
paroxysms of grief and ange37;, although he did
not, as, according to Caulincourt, he tried to do
so after his abdication in 1814,. attempt to commit
suicide by taking poison at Fontainebleau. He
, returned after Waterloo, as is- known, inunedia-
tely to the Elysee. ;, "He endeavored," says Cau-
lincourt, "to give vent to. the emotions of his
heart, but his •oppressed respiration permitted
him to articulate onlyi breken sentences." "The
army," he said "has performed prodigies of vale/
inconceivable efforts. What hoops? Ney
behaved like a madman. He caused my caval-
ry to be cut to pieces. All has been sacrificed..
I am ill and exh,austed. I must lie down for an
hour or two. My head burns. I must take -a
bath," After his bath, "It is.grovious," he con-
tinued, "to think that we should have been over-
come after, so many heroic efforts. My, most
brilliant victories do not shed more glory an the
French army. thaai the defeat of Mont St. Jean.
Our troops have not been. beaten; they have been
sacrificed --.massacred by overwhelming ottmbers.
My guards suffered thamselves to be cut to pieces
° without asking for quarter. I wished to have
died with them, bat they exclaimed. "Withdraw,
withdraw, you see death is resolved to spare your
Majesty; and, epening their ranks, my, old gren-
adiers screenedme from the carnage 'forming
round me a rampart of their bodies. carnage,
brave,
my admirable guard has been destroyed—and I
have not perished with them,"
"1 had," resumed the Emperor. "conceived a
bold manceuvre with the view of preventing the
junction of the two hostile armies. I had coin -
lined my cavalry into a single corps of twenty
thousand men, and ordered it to rush into the
midst of the Prussian Cantonments. This bold
attack, which was executed on the 14th with the
rapidity of lightning, seSins likely to decide the
fate of the campaign. * * But I was compelled
to change thy plan. Instead of making an unex-
pected attaek, 'found myself obliged to engage in
a general battle, having opposed to me two com-
bined armies itapported by immense reserves.
The enemy's forces quadrupled the number of
ours. I had calculated all the disadvantages of
a regular battle. The infamous desertion of
Bourmont forced me to change all my arrang-
ments."
The original abdication at Fontainbleau, . be-
fore the departure for Elba, wascouched in these
words: -
"The Allied Powers having proclaimed that
ent the Emperor Napoleen was the sole obstacle to
ow- the re-establishment of peace, the Emperor Na-
wn- poleon, faithful to his oath, declares that he is
es- ready to desoend from the throne, to quit France
ich and life itself for the good of the country; but
II. without prejudice to the rights of his son, to
at those of the Empress as Regent, and to the main-
nd tenance of the laws of the Empire.
ut "Given at our 'Palace of Fontafisebleau, the
II 4th. day of April, 1814."
es- On the 6th of April this was so altered to read
hs as follows;
ue ' ".The allied sovereigns having declared that
er the Emperor Napoleon is the sole. obstacle to the
e. restoration of a, general peace in Europe, the Em-
il= 'serer Napolcou, faithful to his oath, declares
in that he renounces for himself and his heirs the
er throne of France and Italy; and that there is no
gh personal sacrifice not even that of life itself,
r, which he is not willing to make for the interests
ay of France." •
et This abdication, of course, was not final-athe
a last and conclusive act having been made in fa-
vor of his son, June 22, 1814. The latter .Napo -
on leon II., born in 1811, died July 22, 1832, at the
a- Palace of Schoenbrum. It was after the first ab-
dication, and immediately following the escape
from Elba, that the Monitear, then the organ of
Louis XVIII., thus recorded the progress of the
returning Emperor from day to day: -
' "The Anthropophagist has escaped."
"The Corseian Ogre has Landed."
g ",The Tiger is Coming."
-"The-Monster has Slept at Grenoble."
d "The Tyrant has Arrived at Lyons." .
t- "The Usurper has beenSeen in the Environs of
Paris."
; "Bonaparte 'Advances Toward, but Will Never
- Enter. the Ca,pital."
"Napoleon Will be Under Our Ramparts To-
-
f Morrow." -
e "His Imperial Majesty Entered the Tuileries
on the 21st of March in. the Midst of His Faithful
a Subjects."
n Seine of Napoleon's explanatory and exculpa-
tory utterances while in exile, are interesting.
- Take for example the following to Montholon :
"If I had not conquered at Austerlitz, I should
-
have had all Prussia on me. . If I had not been
victorious at Jena, Austtia. and Spain would have
r atta,cked p.m in the rear. If I had not triumphed:
at Wagram—which, by the by, was not -So deci-
sive a victory—I had to fear that Russia
would abandon me, that Prussia would rise
against me; and, in the meantime, the English
were already before Antwerp. -
I saw that the destinies of France depended up -
oh me alone. The circumstances in which the
country was placed were extraordinary and en-
tirely new.' It would be vain to seek a -parallel
to them. The stability of the edifice of which I
was tho keystone but depended upon each °limy
battles. Had I been conquered at Marengo,
France would have encountered all the disasters
of 1814 and 1815, without those prodigies of glory
which succeeded, and -which will be immortal.
At Austerlitz, at Jena, at Wagrarn and at Eylair,
it was the same.! The vulgar failed not to blame
my ambition as the cause of these wars, but they
were not of my choosing. They were- caused by
the nature and force of events. They arose out
of that conflict of the paat and the !Adm.°, that
perma,nent coalition of our enemies, Which coni -
pelted us to subdue under pain of bem subdued."
: It
TheprescienceoLthe following in the advice
to his son, dictated to Montholon, is remarka-
ble" The whole mass of the people, and the whole
army, up to the grade of, Captain,. were on my
side. I was not deceived in feeling this confidence.
They owe me much. I was their true represen-
tative. The proof of this is that they always of-
fered me more power than I desired. In the
present day there is nothing possible in France
but what is necessary. It will not be the same
with my son. His power will be disputed. He
mist anticipate every desire for liberty."
Words cost nothing, as Napoleon truly said,
and the world will soon, no doubt be favored
with the explanations and aphorisms of his de-
feated successor. That he will leave to his son
in place of the crown he was powerless to keep, a
legacy of wise counsel, is probable; but whether
ci
ed
in
bl
gi
mi
no
pl
fo
to
su
ar
inu
he
gre
na
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dia
aga
40,
SO
ed
to
Na
peac
WHOLE NO. 147
that son will ever have better opportunities to
apply it to government than had his cousin,. Na-
poleon II., time only can determine.
Sir. Harris Nicholas on the Ordezof
' the Thistle.
In a splendid work Ilky Sir. Harris Nicholas,
4.A History of the Copiers of Knighthoods of the
Dritish Empire," whials very few of -cnia- leaders
can have had an oppectunity of seeing, there is a
searching investigation respecting the antiquity
of some of the objects which figure in the Scott-
ish armorial bearinge, and particularly a the en-
deared and truly peculiar national emblem—the
.Thistle.
The old monkish writers of Scottish history
had a story whieh has been repeated, by authors,
with more or less appearance of belia; down ala
most to Out times, though it represented the
Gross of St. Andrew and thistle as becoming na-
tional emblems at a time when,. there was no
trace of such Images in the country. It was said
that Achaius, King of Scots, in the ninth cen-
tury, was enabled to overthrow the army of Ath-
.
elstane, King of the West Saxons, in a battle
which took place near Haddington, in consequence
of the miraculous appearance. of St. Andrew'a
ross in the heavens on the previous night; and
that, in eommemoration of this circumstance, he
adopted the crossa8 a national badge, and made
it conspicuous in the decorations of an order
which he then founded, called the Order of the
Thistle, It is clear that this tale is moor imita-
tion of the story told of the appearance of across
in the heavens to the Emperor Constantine. In
reality, no authentic memorials of the reign of
Achaius exist, and. the earliest appearance of -the
t. .Andrew's Cross on the Scottish coins is in a
gold one of Robert II. who reigned from 1371 to
1390), where it makem a very modest and. even
obscure appearance. It is curious, however, to
observe how erroneous ideas as to historic cir-
cumstances have, by affecting people's ininds,
wrought themselves at length into actual history.
The monkish legend as to Achaius appears to
have been prevalent in Scotland, and to have oc-
casioned a universal belief that there had , once
existed an order of knighthood amongst us, which
by some chance, had gone to decay. This seems
to have led James IV. to an effort at reviving, in
reality at establishing, the order; so that, hadhe
completed his design, it might have been said
that a fiction had. become the parent of a fact. In
truth, all that this king seems to have done was
to assume a collar of thistles, like' those worn by
the members of other European orders. His
son, James V., indulged his taste in like manner,
probably under the influence of the same idea as
to an ancient but decayed order originating with
Achaius. And a collar formed of thistles appears
on the 5.inpressions of Queen Mary's Great Seal
and likewise on that of James VI.; although
neither' of these sovereigns,. any more than their
predecessors, had aity actual order of the kind. to
confer on their subjects. •
The thistle, so far from beipg a badge assumed
by any of our early kings, is shown by Sir Har-
ris Nicholas not to be alluded to, as a decorative
or emblematic object,- at any 'time before the
reign of James III. Among the jewels of that
prince, described in an inventory dated 1488 (the
year of his death), was a covering of variand
purpir tarter browdin with thrissiis and a uni-
come," It was certainly held as a national era-
blein in 1503, when Ikunbar wrote his beautiful
allegorical. poem on the union of James with
the Princess Margaret of England, uncle/. the
title of "The Thrissill and the Roisa" The auth-
or of this poem represents May as calling before
her the lion and eagle, as sovereigns respectively
of beasts and. birds.
'Then callit she all flowers that grew on the
field,
Discerning all their fashions and effeirs ;
Upon the awful Thistle she beheld
And saw him. keppit with a bush of spears;
Considering him so able with the weirs,*
A radius crown of rubies she him gave,
And said, In field go furtg, and fend the lave."
Sir Harris thinks it likely that this hardy child
of the Scottish soil was adopted as a badge in the
reign of James III. ; but, from the peaceiul char-
acter of thatmonarch, we should think it more
probable that his son James IV. -first adopted it.
Its defensively warlike character, and its growitig
so luxuriantly in the then illcultivated fields and
wastes of Scotland, would point it out as a suit-
able eblem for a country extremely poor, but
possessed by a people who were determined to
repel every aggression frorn a foreign power. It
is worthy of remark, that the expressive inott,
"HMO impune lacesset" (No one shall injure
me with impunity), was not added for many years
after. It first appears on a coin of James VI.,
in 1579, surrouinling a thistle which occupies a
large space in the centre. It is supposed to have
been suggested by George Buchanan, theprecept-
or of James ; but the idea was not original. In
an earlier age, Francis Sforza having taken pos-
session 9f the State of Milan, right of his wife,
and thereby put an end to all contented on a,
much -disputed point, assumed as a bearing a grey.
hound sitting with the motto, . "Quietism 'new
impune lacesset," inferring that he gave offence to
to person, but was ready to offend, and defend
himself against those that should anywise molest
him.
*The old fable of •Achaius andhia St. Andrew's
cross was not yet banished from the Scottish
mind. The credulous historical antiquaries of
the seventeenth century entertained the notion
that not only had an order of the Thistle origin-
'ated in that age, but it had been revived in great
splendor by James IV., and -had regularly existed
for several reigns, till it was lost sight of amidst
the political turmoils of the kingdom, The only
foundation for the latter part of this delusion
was, that several, sovereigns in the preceeding
century had, as already stated, worn a collar of
thistles, or at least put such an object upon their
great __seals. It gives a most instructive idea of
the difficulty of obtaining correct information in
those times, and of the readiness with which any
popular story was received, that from so small a
foundation, in so short a time, so great a super-
structure of fable should have been reared.
it was in truth this delusion of the antiquaries -a
that day which induced James 11. (ot Great Bri-
tain), in 1687, to institute (or, as he thought, re-
vive) the order of the Thistle, which has ever
since exited, and now consists et some fourscore
knights,
easaae----
Mythological festivity—Hercules going to dine
with his club.
Wisdom is in the heart and not in the head;
it is from the perverseness of men's dispositions,.
and not their want of knowledge, that their ac-
tions are filled with foolishness, and their lives
with irregularities.
VARIETIES.
A head-wind—A sneeze.
A joinit concern --Anxiety about the lattcher's
bill. -
A yawn in company generally indicates a gap
in the aenversation. -
What is that whiek ties two persons,. tut only
touches. one ?—A wedding ring..
The; noblest si t en earth is a man talkibg
reason,. and his listening to him.
A man who has tried it says that aJ3 the short
cuts to:wealth are c4-rercrowded.
Wien is a lover Justed in calling hie sweet -
hegira honey?;When she is bee -loved.
Why are gentlemen's lover letters liabie to go
asimay ? Because they are alwayszeiss-dir. ectefl.
Why does the fool who never laughs remind
you of the wisest man Because he is a solemn
!)an.
:Why should a rooster's feathers always be
smooth? Because he always has a comb with
A widower was recently rejected by a damsel
who didn't want affection that had been warm d
over..
Many a man Who would scorn to purloin a song
from a music -seller thinks it no harin to 'steal a -
march.'
Why do teetotallers run such a slight risk of
drowning Because they are so accustomed to
keep their nose above water.
Of a man who recently died, it is said, his
name will be reniembered wherever his deeds and
mortgages are known.
One of the most important rules of the science
of manners, is an almost absolute silence in re-
gard to yourself.
Mrs. Munroe, the winner of the Cleveland
footrace, is contemplating a lecturing tour. --
Her subject will be "Fast Women."
Mrs. Partington says that since the invention
of the needle -gun, there is no reason why women
shouldn't fight as well as men.
Oh, mother, said a little boy, as he stood look-
ing at a lake by moollght, see how the moon
sprinkles down 011 the water!!
"Young man, do you believe in a future state ?"
'1n course I duz • and what's more I means to
enter it as soon as i3etsy gets her thinga ready."
What's a name! Rochester has always been
the Flour City, but now that it has retired from.
the !lour business, it calls itself the Flower City.
An urchin being sent for five dents worth of
maccoboy snuff, forgot thename of the article,
and asked, for five cents worth of make a boy
sneeze.
Young lady physicians are multiplying rapidly
throughout the country„, ancl consequently the
young men are decidedly more sickly than they
used to be.
, At a late fashionable wedding the bridal arty
being a little dilatory the organist played, ager
to meet thee love ; ' and again the lovers not
coming, he sounded forth "Robin's not here."
Are thete pure canaries? - asked a young gen-
tleman, who was negotiating for a et for /US
fair. Yes, sir, said the dealer, confidentially, I
raised them ere birds Iv* canary seed.
Wife said. a broker a few days since, do you
think 1, shall ever be worth $50,000? Ain't 1
worth that W you? said the confiding spouse.
Y -e -s, said the other half; but I can't put you
out at interest..
The guests at a first-class hotel were recently
startled at seeing lance pie among the itenas of
desert on the bill of fare. In chantty to the land-
lord, we are induced to.believe that mice pie was
the article intended. .
An Irish sailor visited a city where he said
they had copper -bottomed the tops of the houses
with sheet lead. • Perhaps it was the same who
saw a white black bird sitting on a wooden mill-
stone eating a green blackberry.
The latest instance of a rose being made to
smell as sweet by any other name, conies to us
from Sydehy, 0., where a young man wanting -
fiddlestrings, asked at a music store for feline in-
testinefor lyrical purposes.
A Jersy widow, finding her charms fading, ap-
plied, a "magical balm" a few nighta ago, and
awoke next morning to find her hair falling off; _
and blotches as large' as ginger cooldes- all over
her face. She wants to interview the balite „.
man.
A Kingston dry goods clerk was recently ac.-
commodated , with the loan of a revolver to
blow out his brains with, in order to spite a lady
who had rejected him and married another. On
sober second thought he sold the revolver and
got
drunit.
Acynical old bachelor, who firmly believes
that all women have something to say on all sub-
fects, recently asked a female friend, "Well,
madam, what do you hold on the question of fe-
male suffrage? To him the lady responded
calmly, I hold my tongue.
Jones said to Hawkins, a crusty old bachelor.
What a pity that poor old Golden has gone blind.
Loss of sight is a terrible thing, and the poor fel-
low's eyes are quite closed up. Let him -marry,
then, exclaimed the *impish old celibate; let hiin
marry, and if that don't open his eyes, then—
then his case is indeed hopeless.
A friend relates a comical story of a youth who
went in great grief to a neighbor to get some of
the women to lay his grandmother out for burial.
Accordingly, that night, a couple of the ladies
S
went over, when, to their great astoniahment, the
man met them at the gate, informing them not
to hurry ; he isn't dead
jistyet
a
A local editor thus describes team running
away with a lumber waggon: The infuriated
beasts dashed madly on, as thoughrejoicinginthe
spirit of self destruction, itntil, coming in contattJ
with the staunch old liberty pole, the waggon
was upset, -when the sagatious animals quietly
waited for affrighted spectators to arrive and re-
instate -the vehicle on its tiers.
-Some years ago, in one of our western courts,
three men—.an Englishman, an Irishman and a. .
Sootehmtm were grind guilty of murder and sen-
tenced to be hungt. The judge told them that
they could each choose a tree on -which to be
hung up. The Scotehman promplytoose an ash
tree, and the Englishman an oak tree. "Well
Pat, what will you be hung on r asked the j
"If it would please your honor, rather e.
A
hung, on a gooseberry bush," "O,"
"that's not. kis enough." u Begorra thin," says
Pat, brightenmg up, 41'11 wait till it grows:7,
,
rr%