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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1870-06-17, Page 110, 1870. CITEMENT! _ EMLS AT aforth .rushing for those 0 0 D S. e demand Airs Dent has Ito renew his UR CHASES, returned with a RING STOOK than ser. 4 ITs VAIXE. prIOs. SEAFORTH. p i WM. F. LUXTON, "Freedom in Pkade—Liberty in Religion:=Equality in Civil Rights". EDITOR & PUBLISHER. VOL. 3) NO. 281 SEAFORTH) FRIDAY, .JUNE 17 1870. WHOLE NO. 132. BUSINESS CARDS. MEDICAL. RTRACY, M. D., Coroner for the County of . Huron. Office and Residence—On door East of the Methodist Episcopal Church. Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868. 53-ly TXL. VERCOE, M. D.C. M., Physician, Sur- gean, etc., Office and Residence, corner of Market and High Street, immediately in rear of Kidd & McMulkin's Store. 130--tf. 1 Seaforth, Feb. 4th, 1870. 53-1y. rtSOn C Ca.,. ALt RI.NDS• ND R 141. EAVY _ Putty i:smith Coals, ubs, Rims, _ pokes, 's of ti1 kinds, IEWS To HIRE. 870. • 112— Of! Ac.s_nonoto rztv, .g to nailer their customers -ierally that they have re- tely oecnpied by A. )n(1 Door Above W, Italian Ware co iStantly cal hand a large )rUL( GROCERIES and MILY FLOUR, and all p Feed. en in exchange for Groce- . asul Feed. d from us will be delivered art of Saaforth, Harper knge wheat, &c.„ for Flour at the highest value. . A. SHEARSON & CO 1 lemacles. Cot Out.gis In and Taste ND AT O BRO3S, RS. Goderich Street. P S aship Guaranteed. -1,010-DE RATE. D0011. TO Drug Store., 82-etf. -FIR. W. R. SMITH, Physician, Surgeon, etc. Office,—Opposite Veal's Grocery. Resi- dence—Main-street, North. Seaforth, Dec, 14, 1863. 53- ly JCAMPBELL, M. D. C. M., (Graduate of Mo - Gill University, Montreal) Physician, ,Sur- geon, etc., Seaforth. Office and Residence—Old Post Office Builcliug, up stairs, where he will be found by night or day when at home. Seaforth, Julyi.15th, 1869. 84- ly LEGAL. PF. WALKER, Attorney -at -Law and So- licitor -in -Chancery, Conveyancer, Notary &c. Office of the Clerk of the Peace, Court House, Goderich, Put. N:B.—Money to lend at 8 per cent on Farm Lands. GOderich, Jan'y. 28. 1870. 112-1y. TICA.UGHEY & HOLMSTEAD, Barristers, Attorneys at Law, Solicitors in Chancery and insolvency, Notaries Public and Conveyanc- ers. Solicitors for the R. C. Bank, Seaforth, Agents for the Canada Life Assurance Co. N. R—$30, 000 to lend at 8 per cent. Farms, Houses and Lots for sale. - Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868. 53-tf. We're Al) Afloat. BY Alex. M'LACHLHN. We're all afloat in a leaky boat, On. Time's tenapestous sea • Deah at the helm steers for his realm, - And a motely crew are we, Though water wide on ever side, Away to the sunken shoals, - He steers us o'er the Passion's roar, And the heaven of living souls. - We hear the splash and, the heavy dash, And the weary, weary moan, And only know we embarked in woe, And are bound for the great unknown: Some telling tales of happy vales, That lie beyond the gloom, While Greed and Spite are at their fight For another inch of room. And Fraud and Pride how they push aside, The weak ones and. the old, While earses deep from the mad. hearts leap That they have huddled in the hold. - 'Tis sad to hear; 'mid the tempest drear, 'How the selfish crew go on; How they curse and swear and snarl there, As dogs tdo 9'er a bone. • Anon, as a brief but sweet relief. In the midst of the fighting throng, Some poor waif starts to cheer our hearts 'With the blessed voice of song Blessings of Peace and. the heart's increase • When Love o'er the crew shall reign; And the rudest hear with a willing ear, And each heart cries out, "Amen." "DENSON& MEYER, Barristers and Attorney at Law, Solicitors in Chancery and Insolv- ency,.Conveyancers, Notaries Public, • etc. Of- fices,—Seaforth and Wroxeter. Agents for. the - Trust and Loan Co. of Upper Canada, and the Colonial Securities Co. of London, England. Money at 8 per cent;. no commission, charged. , IAS. H. BKSON, H. W. C. MEYER, Seaforth, Dec. 10th 1868. 53-ly DENTAL: G. W. HARRIS, L. D. S lArti- ficial Dentures inserted with. alNthe latest iraprovements. The greatest care taken for the .preservation . of decayed, and tender teeth. Teeth extracted without pain. Room over Collier's Store. Saeforth. Dec. 14, 1898. 1 y. I4OTELS. riOMMER01AL HOTEL, Ainleyvill James 1j Laird, proprietor, affords first-clata acconi- ro.odation for the travelling public. Thelarder ancl bar are always supplied with the best the markets a,fforcl. - Excellent stabling in eonnection Ainleyville, April -23, 1869. 70-tf. "- ONX'S HOTEL (LATE SHARP'S) The un- dersignecl begs to thank the public for the liberal patronage awarded to him in times past in the hotel business, and also to inform them that he hasagainresumed business in the above stand, where he will be happy to have a call from olci friends, and many new ones. I THOMAS KONX. Seaforth, May 5, 1870. .126-tf. • 1- R. ROSS, Proprietor New Dominion Hotel, . J begs to inform the people of Seaford)! and thetravelling community generally, that &keeps first-clasaccommodation in every thing required by travellers. A good stable and Willing hostler always on hancl, -Regular Boarders will rec,eive every necessary attention. Seaforth, Feb. Sth, 1869, 634y. TIORITISH EXCHANGE HOTEL, GODERICH, OST., J. CALLAWAY, PROPRIETOR ; J. S.. Wrisetasis, (late of American Hotel, Warsaw, N. Y. ) Manager. This hotel has recently been new- ly furnished, and refitted throughout, and is now one of the most cumfertable and commodious in the Province. a Good Sample ROOMS for Commer- cial Travellers. Teiens Goderich, April 14, 1870. ).23-tf. M 'SCE LLAN EO U S. AHRPS, LIVERY STABLE, MAIN TS.' SEAYORTII. First Class Horses and Carriages always on hand at reasonable terms. .L.. SHARP, Proprietor. Seafortle May 5th, 1870. 3-tf— MAILL & CROOKE, Architects, etc. Plans 0 and Specifications drawn correctly, Carpen- ter's, Piasteterls, and.- Mason's work, measured and valued. Office—Oyer J. C. Detlor & Co.'s store, Courf-House Square, G-oderiely Goderich, April 23, 1869. - 79-1y. LoVE AND ANGLING. "The pleasa'ntest angling is to see the fish Cut with their golden oars the silver stream, And greedily devour the treachrous bait; So angle we for Beatrice, who even now Is couched in the woodbine overture." that esdbition. So with my solitary fish, I wan- der up stream, and at length I begin to suspeot I must have passed the boundary of the district which has been allotted for the use, of his custom- ers to the landord of the Swan. However, there is an attractive piece of water, well shaded by al- ders on one side, and with a clear. bank on the other, which I iletermine to essay, even at the risk of being caught as apoacher. Here I had better luck, although the trout are small, and do not necessitate the employment of the landing net. Brook trout are biting merrily, and I begin to think I shall have a creel to show for the morn- ing's sport, when suddenly I become conscious of a very singular phenomenon, that for the moment startles me considerably. Making a cast into a ripple, round a big boulder, I find my line firmly caught and draggedinto the air, my reel gives out, another reel gives. out, and, as I live, Lam firthly entangled. "Oh, how tiresome t" some one cries from the shelter of the alders; and a moment afterwards a young lady comes into sight with a decided flush of anger on her cheeks, The young lady is clothed in gray from head to hose. She has gray gloves, and grey gaiters be- low her short dress; a grey hat with a grey fea- ther ; but her cheeks were red, and looked delici- ously cross at the accident she has met with. "Don't be ta.king.off your hat, please; but try and free my line if yoa can." "If you will be good enough to let out while I wheel in, I can then unfasten the hooks." This is done with rather a sulky air, and when released, the grey angler calls out: "Do you know, sir, that you have no right to fish here? This part of the stream is strictlypre- served." "1 am sorry I am trespassing. I intended to leave my card at the house above, to which, Ipre- sume the fishing is attached." "Well," (this time smiling like—like a rippling sea under an August sun and breeze) "let me see -if you can throw a fly. I will give you leave to whip the stream as far as the plank crossing above." "Oh, I would not spoil your sport for the world." "Perhaps you won't spoil my sport after all. When you are done, I shall wait until the water rests and go over it again." The slightest touch of sarcasm gave the flavor of a pickled walnut to this remarks We pass be- yond the alders to where the stream is more open The gray damsel, with her rod on her shoulder, watches my performance from the opposite bank. Rather anxious to display my deftness at the gentle art, I stand well back, whisk out a very long line and as the flies are skimming the water the wicked wind suddenly tosses them wildly about my lady's turban, and in a second. the head gear is firmly hooked. With a growl at my a.w.k- wardness, I waded out at once into the brook and. begged her pardon. She said nothing, but bent her face towards inc in order to have the .accident remedied. Ai di me! The poet who was ensnar- ed in the golden hair of his mistress could safely sympathize with me at the moment. • I am very unlucky. Will you forgive my awkwardness ?" "Yes; but as I am my own gamekeeper, you must give up your name." I took a card from my fly book, and presented it to her. "Mr. Frank Dalton! I have heard the name before. Are you not the editor of something or other in London ?" Heavens! Something or other! Is it in this style the _Macrosmscmum was spoken of in the provinces? I bowed, to imply that the periodi- cal dimly referred to was under my charge. " 0, I am so glad to have seen a real literary man! No.woncier you couldn't fish." "But I can assure you." " No ; you carne here to moon, and to imagine Izaak. Walton. Clever people never make good anglers." And yet I saw you throw a fly very prettily just now." "Take care, sir, take care • you have been caught poaching, and if you &hi to your crime by paying me a direct compliment, you shall be charged before my pa with both offences." declare we talk OR together with no more em- barrassment than if we had known each other for a inonth at least. Mr. Dalton," said the little gray woman (she was petite) as we came to a path leading to a house surrounded with dark cedars, her tone al- tering from one of banter to that of a young lady doing the royal. honors of her domain, "you are quite welcome to angle on our part of the river as long as you are stopping here, • Do you know that pa is a contributor as well as a subscriber to your paper ?" " Indeed ! Well, I au). very grateful, Miss—" "Clare." "Miss Clare, 'I have been indebted to Mr. Clare for several essays on etomology." • "Oh, pa is mad about black beetles. I am his butterfly -hunter. • Come up and see our collec- tion." We met Mr. Clare on a croquet lawn, and in a few minutes.were known to each other as corres- pondents. "You will remain to luncheon, Mr. Dalton?" "Thank you." CAST I. Looking out from my bedroom window of the Swan while the May moon Was shining on a broacireach of the trout stream at the end of the smooth shaven green before the inn, with the scent of the hawthorn coming with the dusk, the gurgling talk of the water, as it ranand rippled against the sedges, seethed to possess an odd personal significance which one sometimes finds in the jingling of bells or the sound of a rail- way train. When I closed my shutters, and got into the lavender scented sheets, I still continued to her the voice of the waters- chiming a dreamy romance, which very soon lulled me to sleep, and at the same time into a dreamland of the pleas- antest fancies born of my waking reveries and.' of the chant of the waters, which you should know, is always louder in the daytime than inthe night. I went through the Story of Undine over again. My nymph was a fair demon of the Wibple, whom 1 wooed and won in that kind of off-htnded fash- ion in which we manage such things fer ourselves when within the portals of the ivory gates. Our Thourtship seemed to have begun in another place as we took it up at the point where we had de- clared eternal love to each other; and we required no explanations between us. We were, if you please, as happy as the shepherds and sheperdes- ses who tended the silly sheep of Ardady, whose clays ran out with billing and cooine, and piping of oaten straws, with just a few background per- ils from the goat hoofed satyrs of the glades and the forest. As we sat together of a noontide (perhaps in the Forest of Arden—Shakespeare furnishes a dream drama with scenery very often) the pain of an approaching loss weigheclme down, and when I turned wistfully to my companion . lo' the foul crew of Comus had carried her off, the mocking laughter of the hideous rapparees withered the trees into the black and stuntecl growths of a London park in December ; the light went out suddenly'from the picture, and I sank into a wakefitiness with a curious asehe and long- ing -which may have been in part indigestion, in part; at any rate, grief, at .the breaking up of the vision ; and in the half consciousinocel which fol- lowed the catastrophe, when the mind still hover- ed betwen things real and unreal, the song of the Wimple revealed itself once more and withit the cards of the birds that were hailing the dawn. I make a short but good running at breakfast, and as the Winaple must be fished before. the sun has burned up the clouds,- I bend my steps to- wards the stream, turning from the lawn into a path through the rush grass, on which the beads of dew are glittering like the jewels on the scab- bard Of Prince Esterhazy's sword. It is ray first visit to the Wimple, and to me there is a peculiar charm in angling upon an unknown stream. 'Tis like making a fresh acquaintance about whom you imagine all sorts of agreeable possibilities. You feel a little of the vanity of an explorer, too ; for scenes that are unfamiliar to us we constantly _ think are strange to others. That May morning, how well 1 remember it! The dappled cows; the lark siweing with so much heart that his song seemed t� rebound from the very vault of the skies, or to break as it touched it and fall in a shower of melody about us; the cool gelid air of the dawn breeze; the scents of the aromatic wa- ter plants—they are present to me as I write with a vividness that is almost troublesome. Here is a bank after old Walton's own heart. A deep pool above along stone slab, covered with a beard of moss, over which the Wimple runs and falls about a single foot, making a creamy swirl which ought to be a sure find fora trout. My rod has already been put up, and selecting a small dun fly, standing as far back as possible, I threw my first cast, Hal a rise, as I live; but he hasn't touched the hook. Try him again, and be more caution S in striking this time. He has it, and he clashes across the rivulet with the fly, I can feel, from the pull, that he is a pound weight, if an ounce. He has a game tussle for his life, but wearies at last, and at the roll of the winch is towed in helpless to the little shallow bay, where he is assisted to land bithe net. A beautiful fish, my masters, beaming with rubles, anda pret- ty sight as he lies on his death -couch in the bas- ket, upon a pallet of pale primroses, MOSS and violets, which have been placed there to honor the first prize, which, likethe firet baby, is always the most precious godsend. Fortune is fickle with; us brethren of the angle, as with other folk. Fortune deserts nae after a single favor. In vain; for a whole hour do I ex- haust any skill and ray fly book. The hare's ear that never failed before fails now a the tiny silver' and gray, so often successful withthe shy citizens of the brook, tempts them to imitate the bull at the Is1inton Spanish bull fight, which naerely �oquetted with his hind legs with the artists in & W. McPHILLIPS, Provincial Land Sur- veyors, Civil Eneineers, etc. All . manner of Conveyancing clone with neatnes§ a•ncl dispatch. G. McPhillips, Commissioner in, B. R. Office— Next door south of Sharps Hotel, Seaforth. Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1868. 53-1y. 1- S. PORTER, Seaforth, Ont.'dealer in hides, J. 4 shel,p skins, furs and wool. Liberal advance- ments made on consignments. Money to lend. Insurance agent. Debts collected. Highest price paid for green backs. -,-Office east side of Main Street, one door north Johnson Bros'. Hardware Store. 122-tf. HAZLEHMIST, Licensed Auctioneer fo JD, the County of- Huron. Goderich, Out Particular attention paicl to the sale of Bankrupt Stock. Farm Stock Sales attended on Liberal Terms. Goods Appraised, Mortgages Foreclosed, Landlord's Warrants Axecuted. . Also, "Bailiff First Division Court for Huron. Godmich, June 9th, 1869. 76. tf, or some other fearful wildfowl connected with et omology. A rustle in the grass by me. "Why -so pensive, angler?' "0 Miss Clare, the fish won't bite; and I have not the patience of an adept." "You had better give it up, and help me to catch butterflies. There goes a lovely blue one !" And off dashed the gray gaiter through the meadow, scattering meadow sweet, buttercups, and clover to right and leffr on their path; above them a long pole, wielded by the owner, with a net on the top of it, and the quarry waggling and skirling in front. The gray damsel returns with the prey immeshed; such a color on her cheek, such a light in those violet eyes! (1 CAST n. "It is a pity to call butterflies Latin names, Mr. Dalton. Flowers are spoiled in the same way.". I wonder you have not a greater respect for science:" "I hate science." "Music?" "Oh, I love music, but that is different." I am not going to try and write dOwn our talk that afternoon. It now beca-me a daily custom of ours to meet, and. I frequently dined and took tea at the lodge. I should say that Mr. Clare was a widower, and Belle his only daughter. " It is hard to lose her," he said. to meone eveningacross the walnuts and the wine; "it is hard to lose her." Glad I was that we were sitting between the lights. Bella was in the drawing room playing a wordless song of Mendelssohn's that was more eloquent than any verses that poet ever wedded to music. . "Yes," he continued, "Belle is engaged to Captain Hay, a cousin of hers, and. he has written to me about having the marriage brought off shortly."' "1 never heard. her speak of hint. Is the en- gagement of long standing ?" "Oh, dear, yes; since they were children." (These cursed cousinships ! The old story— since they were children! But what a desperate flirt that gray minx must have been!) "Is Captain Hay amember of the — Club?" (Mentioning an association for drinking latebran- dy-and-seltzer to which I myself belonged.) "Yes, I have heard. him speak of it." Well, I no longer felt angry with my gay de- ceiver; I felt sorry for her. Hay I knew to be thoroughly bad as far as women were concerned. "He is coining here next week. You will be glad to meet him?" "Thank you; I know Captain Hay slightly al- ready." CAST III. When I had taken a cup of cofiee, I openecl the photograph album, which lay on the drawing room table. Turning over the leaves until I came to one of a tall gentleman, with luxurious whis- kers and a cruel Mouth, I brought the book over to Bella Clare, and simply said "Miss Clare, is not this Captain said, to whom you are engaged ?" An expression of pain and annoyance crossed her face. "Yes, but I didn't want you to know. You will not be half so nice now." "Captain Hay and I were members of the same club. -Why shouldn't I be as nice now as I was before I knew your secret ?" "Oh, you are one of those men who would be sure to be squeamish about flirting with your neighbor's goods, and now you will begin to sulk and pout, and. consider yourself ill used, that— that we have been such friends." • I was silent. I was cut -T -cut to the very soul. Mr. Clare here entered the room, and we talked of indifferent matters until I rose to take my leave. I shook hands with Mr. Clare and bowed to Bella. As I Walked toward the door I heard a quick, light step after me. "Dear Mr. Dalton, I am very sorry. There is no mischief done, -is there? You must shake hands with me." I did. I could not help it, but the Wimple all that night spoke in sad undertones, not with- out a certain, "'Turn again, Whittington" strain through them, however. Why didn't I go back to town at once? My sub editor of the lifacrosmicceum wrote for me twice, and still I lingered at the Swan, making believe to try and catch trout. Both Hay and his fiance called to see .me, to "rout me out, " as Bella said, but I nursed my grievance. I couldn't bear to look at the couple together. My last evening at the -Wimple. I stroll dcewn to the bank, having packed up my knapseck for departure • on to -morrow. The sun has dropped below the hills '• the crailsecraik of the rail, or the thin bark of a distant dog, and the voices of men driving cattle somewhere or other, touch me with a kind of regret like what one feels at the close of a concert. I walk up as far as the elders, and cross over the plank, for from this spot I can see Wimple Lodge. "Poacher again! With night flies, moths, ancl, for ali I know, matches and a torch, for worse deeds when honest -leas were in their beds." "Miss Clare !" "Yes, I am no ghost. Here, help •me put a cast of these big evening flies," "Have you any others? I dont think these are quite the thing." "Oh yes ; I took Charlie's book'from his bas- ket as he was snoozing with papa in the dining - room above. Let us see what he has in it." As she opened the book a carte tumbled out and fell on the grass. I stooped down and hand- ed it to her. The moon was by this time shining so brightly that you 7 -night read by it. Miss Clare took the carte and gazed at it. - She turned to me with a hasty "good night," and, before I could recover from my astonishment, hacl disappearecl in the direction of the Lodge. I had. not even tithe to say "good-bye," as I had intended. About half an hour after I arrived at the Swan, a messenger from the Lodge brought the follow- ing note : WINCeLLE LODGE, Tuesday night. • "DEAR Mit. DALTON ---Do not go away until I see you to -morrow. "BELLCLARE." , Walking to the Swan that night, after an entire day. at Wimple Lodge—after a luncheon under the cedars, and dinner,followed by an hour's croquet, and an hour during which a waltz of Cho - pin's was played by Miss Clare to the fragrance of hellotrops—I stopped. on the bridge of the ham- let, and heard the river again whispering wild fanci9d on the reeds. Again I heard it as I lay awake, and I seemed to hear it as I slept and. dreamt once more of Undine—of Undine, this time clothed in gray garments, and much resem- bling Miss Clare in her general appearance. Next morning, as I saw the flush of the new day in the east I thought, would ray Emily, like the Emily of Chaucer, rise with the sun? If so, I would be down to the river on the chance of meeting her once more.. ,The trout had an easy time of it; the angler's heart was not in his work. Hewhip- ped off his flies • he pulled them with a stupid jerk from the flies; mouth. He would have sighed, "Heigho !" and wouldhave said, "Alack, alack !" if those expressions were not obsolete. Then to make matters worse, he ceased his calling altogether, and longed to cry. 'My lady sweet, arise! my lady sweet, arise! with everything that pretty bin.' Then he lit a cigar, which drove away the perfume of the fl.owers but could not stop the clamor of the Wimple, became, if possible, more importunate in suggest- ing love reveries than ever. Still my lady ingray cometh not; and I am resolved to go on a weak pretence to the house, to examine a scarabfts, "I will answer any question you ask me." "You are acquainted with Captain Hay—Char- lie—in London ? cc yes. )3 "You are not intimate, but you know his say " I know his set." - "And, sir," (you should see the violet eyes on fire, and the little hands clenched, and hear the stamp of a stout -booted foot on.thefloot); "know- ing Captain Hay's friends and his acquaintances of this order " (flinging the carte on the table), "you say nothing of warning or caution to a girl who is going to marryhirar (God knows how unprepared I was sfor this scene' Here was my little gray nymph my but- terfly hunter, breaking out in a complete new. style.) ,• _ " It was cruel of you, .Mr. Dalton." "Ladies are more merciful, Miss Clare. You have given me a lesson in kindness, have you not?" "Frank—Mr. Dalton !" "No—Frank." "Well, Frank, I am sorry more than. I cantell you for my folly. Will you help .me to break off from Captain Hay ?" "He ma,yhave bought the carte ina shop. The. lady is as popular in the windows as the portraits of the -Bishop of Oxford." "No, no—I hate him ! The creature has writ- ten to him on the back of it." "I would sooner see you the wife of some one else, I confess." Would you ?" The tone in. which she -spoke brought me to her siae. Bella!" "Yes, Frank." • "Shall we go fishing and ta.11eit over ?" You must lend me a rod and flies, • then,". Yes; but you have not breakfasted." I went and poured out some tea and. got her a chair. We understoocl each other now as fairly and. Clearly as Undine and I did each other inthat dream I told you of. " Captain Hay, please sir," the lady announces at the door. Bella blushes a little. Hay is as cool as possi- ble. Ile sees the carte on the table, and takes in the whole situation at a glance. "Captain Hay—" I commence. " Stop." said the Captain, 'f,I'llsaveyou much trouble, Dalton. Bela, I ain't sorry to be off with you. I wasn't fit, an' all that sort of thing. Bless you both, ray children !" and he was out of the room. We laughed heartily; and when ire went to Wimple Lodge, we found that the gallant Cap- tain had disappeared altogether. So the story the river told, and the fable of the dream; have come true ; and I only wish to all honest anglers that they may be as fortimate in their sport as I was that spring naorning when I first met the gray fisher -maiden of the Wimple. Nothing that I can say will ever persuade that lady that I did not hook her hat intentionally; and it was only upon condition that I would. men- tion her, suspicion, that she has allowed me to write as I have done. VARIETIES. Mrs. Partington, hearing of a pedestrian's 'great feat,' wondered if they troubled him when walking. A little girl sent out to hunt for eggs tame back unsuccessful, complaining that "lots of hens were standing about doing nothing," The following toast was given at a recent ban- quet : "The rights of women—if she cannot be captain of a ship, may she always command a smack." "-Why Charlie, I am surprised to see yoh mak- ing faces at your mother Charlie brightened up at once, and retorted, "Why I calculated to laugh, but, mamma, my face slipped." The laziest man—the printer, he is always set- ting His case is hard, poor fellow, but he makes it a rule to stick to it till a period Closes para- graph, when he gives up the chase and yields to the devil. • What did the river say during the small hours? I know that I could not sleep for it until the cock crowed, and I was late to breakfast. When I came down my landlady, who was indeed. lord and lady of the Swan, told me Miss Clare had been waiting for me for hall an hour. She was seated in the little parlor, and when I entered. she at once pulled from her pocket the picture that 'had fallen. from Hay's fly -book. "Mi. Dalton," 4he said, "you are agentlemah, and as a gentleman I ask you to do me a service, although I must grant you a right to refuse an- swering me at all—if you like." • Upon a tombstone appeared this inscription :— "Here lies James Tug, snug as a bug in a rug. " A wag seeing this, and a stone near by with no inscription'wrote: "Hero lies John Tugger snugger than the other bugger. A young gentleman havingmade some progress in acquiring a knowledge of Italian, addressed a few words to an organ -grinder in his purest ac- cent. He -was astonished at receiving the follow- ing response: "I no speak Inglis." An Arabian having brought a blush on a maid- en's cheek by the earnestness of his gaze, and said to her, "My looks have planted -roses in your cheeks; why forbid me to gather them, the law permits hiin who sows to rap thesharvest." In a not distant city the wife of one of the city fathers presented her husband with three at a birth. The delighted father took hislittle daught- or, four years old, to see her new relations. She looked at the diminutive little beings a few mo- ments, when turning to her father, she hqnireci, " Pa, which one are you going to k.eep ? " evidently remembering the fate of the kittens. A Photographers Advertisement --The follow- ing advertisement tecently appeared in a London paper: "Notice -j -November of all months, be- ing the most anti -photographic, Monsieur has selected it this year for his usual vacation, and, intending to leave town early in the month, requests those of his clients who may require a sitting to fix an appointment as soon as it is possible. " A certain justice was called to the jail to -liber- ate a worthy debtor, by receiving his oath that he was not worth $20. "Well, Jolmny," said the justice, "can you swear you are not worth $20, and that you never will be ?" "Why," answer- ed the other, chargined at the question, "I can swear I am not worth that at present." "Well, well," returned. the justice' "I can swear to the rest, so go along Jolting," width° man was charged. At a theatre one night John Phcenh- thought he saw an acquaintance sitting a few seats in front, and. asked a gentleman between them to poke him with his cane. When he turned around John, discovered his mistake. Fixing his atten- tion on the play, and affecting indifference of the whole affair he left the man with the cane to settle the disturbance, and he, being wholly With- out an excuse, there was, of course, a ludicrous scene awing all of which Phcenix was profound. ly int'erested in the play. At list the man asked indignantly : Did you tell me to poke that man with my cane ?" "Yes." "And What -did you want." 'I wanted to see whether you would pole him or not r