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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1870-05-20, Page 1ttv of ReaPropertn the rom Wet° 10 sper cent., YYLE & SQUIER, BztrriSterq, Goderiola. r TO LEND- irabie village property at 6,1, Rents made to suit the bor- G., MeDGITGALL, tneurance Agent and Oommissioner, Seaforth, re Broker, .`..seafer b. LE that the Lockman Ma - the Latest but also the best — EX that the Loekmaai Ma- iist much exceeding in price 'achine manefactured any- irably Superior to arty cheap taut, dx-P1 that the-Loelvman Ma- ved a,1L immense popularity ras been before the people- . thet the Lockman Ala- Upies a position only acord; ...a of toilsome effort. =-,E. that the Lockman. Ma - *re force of its inherit good 6ecome the universal favor - GE that every family, eith- eau or city, should have a it is equally undeniable lapted for universal use as - _ ,Father withiia the bounds laud, iniportune their re- er and Father, until the ich la sure to follow the I of the Sewing Machine) sqx..ROWMAN L870, 11I-tf, [t. Organs AND 1DEONS CV:REDBY TO ONT: r PRIZES EN BY Instruments. -,- TORONTO, 1861. :AND DIPLOMA ! Eicx t.ZE,. Teronte, 1862. AND DEPLOMA, icaa Kingston, 1863. lIGHLY COMMENDED on„ Hamiltou, 1864. ition, London, Nize and Highly Provincial Ex -- Canada, Mon - z RIZE 1014 Toronto,. 1866. bIALLY RECOMMEN- Kingeton, 1:861. of County Exhibitions, nts leave always taken never exhibited in with _others. FORTE 1 large and well select- i eeond- ela.ss approved. 1 'nion, Piano Company's solicited before buying. S. WILLIAMS, Toronto, Ont. 112-1y. WM. F. LUXTON, "Freedom in # Trade—Liberty in Religion --E quality in Civil Rights". EDITOR & PUBLISHER. VOL. 3, NO. 24, SEAFORTH, FRIDAY, MAY 20, 1870. WHOLE -NO. 128. BUSINESS CARDS. MEDICAL: RTRACY, M. D., Coroner for the County of . Huron. °Thee and Residence—On door East of the Methodist Episcopal Chureh. 4Seaforth Dec. I th, 1868, 53-ly TT L. VERCOE, M. D. C. M., Physician, Sur- • geon, etc.', Office and Residence, corner of Market and High Street, inimediately in rear of Kidd & McMulkin's-Store. Seaferth, Veb. 4t1i, 1870. 53-1y. TAR. "tir. R. SMITH, Physician, Surgeon, etc. Office,—Opposite Veal's Grocery. Resi-• .dence—M ain-street, North. Seaforth, Dec. 14, 186e'. • 53-ly T CAMPBELL, M, D. C. M., (G-raduate of Me- e) . Gill University, Montreal) Physician, Sur- geon, etc., Seaforth, Office and Residence—Old Post Office Building, up stairs, where he will •be --found by night or day when at home. Seaforth, July 15th, 1869. 84-ly LEGAL. en F. WALKER, Attorney -at -Lew and So - IF . lieitor-in-Chancery, Conveyaicer, Notaeg Public, - &c. Office , of the Clerk of the Peace, Court 1 -louse, Goderith, Ont: N. B, —Money to lend at 8 per -centon - Farm Lands. ; „ . Goderich, Jan'y. 28. 1870. . 112-1y. - st IC AUG HEY & HOLMSTE AD, Barristers, Ili Attorneys at Law, Solicitors in Chancery and, insolvency, Riitaries Public and Conveyanc- ers. Solicitors for the R. C. Bank; Seaforth, • Agents for the. Canada Life Assurance Co. B—$30,000 to lend. at 8 per cent. Farms, Houses and Lots for sale. Seaforth, Dec. ith, 1868. 53-tf. WNSON & MEYER, Barristers and Attorney at Law,. Solicitors in Chancery `and -Ineolv- --ency, Conveyancers, Notaries Public, etc. Of- fices,—.Seaforth and Wroxeter. Agents for the 'Trust and Loan Co. of Upper Canada, and. the Colonial- Securities Co. of - London, England. Money at 8 per cent;: no commission, charged. IAS.R.. BENSOX, H. W. C. MEYER, Seaforth, Dec. 10t111.868. 53-ly - DENTAL. G. W. HAR,RIS, L. D. S. Arti- ficial Dentures inserted with all the latest improvements. The greatest care taken for the preservation of decayed and tender teeth. Teeth extracted without pain. Rooms over Collier's Store. ° Seaforth. Dec. 14, 1898. ly. HOTELS. COMMERCIAL HOTEL, Ainleyvill , Janies j Laird, proprietor, affords first-class accom- modation for the travelling public. The larder an bar are alWays supplied with the best the markets afford: Excellent stabling in connection • A inleyville, April 23, 1869. 70--tf. NOX'S 110T EL (LATE SHARP'S) The un - ix_ dersiened bees to thank the public for the - liberal patronage awarded_ to him in tunes past -in the hotel busiliess, and also to inform them that he has again resumed business in the aboVe stand, where he will be hdppy to have a Call from old friends, and many new ones. - THOMAS KNOX. Seaforthiallay 5,-1870, - 126-tf. TR. ROSS, Proprietor New Dominion Hotel, s begs to inform the people of Seaforth and the travelling community generafly, that hekeeps first-class accommodation in every thing 'required by travellers. A good stable and willing hostler ahvaye on hand,a Rapier Boarders will receive every necessary atteution. Seaforth, Feb. 8th, 1869. 63-1y. 1DRITISH EXCHANGE HOTEL, GOlauerera, this, J. CALLAWAY, PROPRIETOR ; -5. Wirat,Lisus, (late of American. Hotel, Warsaw, N. Manager. This- hotelehas recently been nee,- ly furnislied, and refitted. throughout, and is Loa one of the most cnrafortable and commodioas in the Province. Good Sample Rooms for °manner- cial Travellers. Terms libeial Goderich, April 14, .1870. 123 stf. MISCELLANEOUS. SHARP'S LIVERY STABLE, MAIN ST., SEAFORTIL First Class Horses and. Carriaares alw'ays on hand at reasonable terms. R .L. SHARP, Proprietor. Seaforth, May 5th, 1370. MAILL & CROOKE, Architects, etc. Plans 0 and Specifications drawn correctly, Carpe.n- ter's, Plasterer's, and Mason's work, measured and valued. Office—Over J. C. - Detlor & Co.'s stoe, Court -House Square, Goderich. Goderieh, April 23, 1869. -79-1y. LOVE OF COUNTRY. Tho' far across the stormy sea, • I look auld Scotland, back to thee, Nae bonnier land I e'er can see' Wi'banks, and braes, and burns; Nae black bird whistles frae the tree, Nae lav'rOck soars the heavens hie; Here things are very strange to m�; My heart to thee aye tunes., The far'er aff, the mair I think, And see the beauties, link by link, Of thee, my life's -blood, meat and drink, al Next to -my God. s To speak for thee, I'll never shrink; To dream of thee I've but to wink; I'd dee, if I might never blink, Auld Scotia, on thy sod. I see your bonnie sky-blue hills, I see your bonnie heather hells, -- 1 see your larabies o'er the rills. • Loupin' -wi' glee Land o' my birth, my heart aye fills • Wi' pride for you ilk nouk, and thrills love—the kind that never spills Until ye dee. I canna bear to think I'd dee, And. buried be awa' frae thee; I hope I'll live lane' lang and,see Again thy hills and dales; - And when I bend to God's decree— That's when the soul wants to be free— id like to leave my dust with thee, Then enter death's dark vales. :A THRILLING STORY. lathe year 1854 I was in Illrnois, and one night met with the adventure which I now 'im- pose to relate. -! • I had been tra,Velling a long way on horseback, entirely. unaccompanied. My road lay through a thinly settleci and desolate region. The last house I had passed was many miles behind me, and I began to feel weary and *depressed. The night was intensely dark. -Neither moon • nor stars were shining. The .arkness, the long, weary way, exercised an oppressive influence on my spirits, and though by no means a coward, I would have given anything for a pleasanter situa- tions I spurred up my horse and dashed onward: In this way I had proceeded several miles fur- ther. Suddenly a low, rumbling noise attracted my attention. I listened, and in a few Moments. it was repeated. It was distant -thunder, and a storm was coming on. Here was a nice situation and I trembled in anticipation. Again I spurred on, hoping t� fincl some place of shelter before the sterna burst over me. Onward I galloped, but without any apparent. success. Nothing in the shapeof habitation greeted my eyes, and I began to'despair. All the time, too'flashes oflightrung were growing more and more frequent and glar- ing, and the pealing of the thunder nearer :and loader. Finally the storm burst in all its fury. For a while I beat against it determinedly; but the violence of the hurricane was at length too much for me, and I was compelled to stop and seek the --uncertain- shelter of agigantictree, Much as I was opposed to such a course. However, had no -other alternative, for to brave the storm .1 could not. • • The deepest and most intense darkness en -Vel - aped everything, except just when the heavens were lighted uply flashes of lightening, I could not see a foot before my nose, -- and every other sound was coMpletely absorbedby the fierce bel- - levviags of the tempest. I dismounted and. groped my way to the near- est tree. A flash of lightning showed me it was one of the largestthagentude. Beneath its bver- ,spreading branches I might he as comfortable, if . not as. safe, as 1 would underneath a roof. .After attending soinewhat to my horse, I di - vested myself of my wet outer garments, and (lis - posed my wary body to enjoy as much comfort as was compatible' under the cireurnstances. The tempest continued witb no sign of abate- ment. Never beforelaatl I seen such lightning ; never before heard such thunder. -It was terrify- ing, and I coulki not resistthe temptation to shud- der. Ever since that night a storm has occasion- ed me much uneasiness. 711 this manner half an hour may have passed, still the storm howled on in a most terrible man- ner—atill the lightning flashed with blindieg brightness. • Suddenly I felt, or thought I felt a something brush slightly against me. I leaped to my feet an(1 quickly demanded. "Whose there ?"" I listened, got no answer, and nothing Wai ard above the roar of the tempest. The thought struck me that it might be some s ild beast. If such should. 1.1rove to be the case, it would. be almost impossible to guard against its attack under such circemstances and it made my heart beat like a steam engine to think of the dan- ger in which I was probably -standing. I felt for iny pistols, they were in the holsters, and I dare not move for fear of provoking the attack which I dreaded, and which I was in such a poor position to resist. - Some -minutes Passed, and all of a -sudden the weight of a strong- hand or the claw of a wild beast descended on my right shoulder. Almost the same instant, and before I hacl time even. to think, I felt the same pressure on my left. I drew my knife—the only weapon I had about me—and •suddenly stepped back a few paces, ami without any thought or design, demanded who was there, if it was -anything human. • At that moment a viyid flash of -lightning illu- minated the surrounding clarknesi, and for an in- stant rendered everything visible. I was no long- er doubt. A few steps before me two ferocious looking men were Standing. Plainly enough they were both cutthroats and thieves. If they were not their brutal appear - Dame belied therm most wonderfully. Two more -diabolical looking wretches it has never been my ill -luck to encounter, That they meant no good, I had no earthly reason to doubt and, situated as I was, the prospect was anythi;gbut pleasant. Both the desperadoes held a pistol in their hands, and the weapons were levelled at me. • _ All this I saw at a quick glance, and then again the deepest darknest enveleped everything. What should: Ido? I thought. Attempt to reach my horse and trust fo Providence for my rescue? To mymind that seemed my chance,1 for in an encounter withtwo such brawny vil1ians,1 my prospects would be very slim. Whateved course I adopt, I must be quick; or the next flash of lightning would betray my purpose. Quietly I stooped down to the ground and pre- pared- to crawl away in the direction of myhorse. & W. McPHILLIPS, Provincial Land Sur- • ve3rors, Civil Enaineers, etc. All manner , of Conveyaaeinee done with neatness and dispatch. G. McPhillips, Commissioner in B. R. Office— Next door south of Sharp's Hotel; Seaforth.. ,Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1868. 53-1y. auftrime=01 T& PORTER, Sea ' Sea -forth, Ont. dealer in hides, . sheep skins, furs and. wool. Liberal advance- nients'made on consignments- Money to lend. Insurance agent. Debts collected, Highest price paid for green backs." -Office east side of Main Street, one door '‘ north Johnson Bros'. Hardware Store.. 122-tf. trk IIAZLEHURST, Licensed. Auctioneer fo _V. the County of Huron, Godericla Ont Particular attention paid to the sale of Bankrupt Stock. Farm Stock Sales attended. on Liberal Terms. Goods Appraised, Mortgages Foreclosed, Landlord's Warrants Executed. Also, Bailiff v -First Division Court for Huron. Goderich, June 9th, 1869. • 76. tf, What the two rascals were doing, I could not tell for the din of the tempest preveeted- me from hearing customary sound. Their ears, however, were sharper than mine, for, at " the very first movement I made, a loud, coarse voiceexelaimed: 'Taint no use, stranger, for ye can't get away fromhere till ye've paid toll.. We stealsfor aliv ing, we do, and kill for the fun o' the thing, so ye may know what ye've got to expect. Keep still, is my advice, or aforeye knew it, ye'llget a bullet into yer carcass.1' For a moment I hesitated, and in that moment another flash of lightning lit up the surrounding scene. ,There stood the outlaws, with their fiendish looking eyes wickedly glaring on me. The flash of lightning also revealed ray own po- sition to them, and at the sight they set up a loud and brutal, laugh. "Must think -we are a couple of ninnies, Jake!), remarked one to the other. i "The cuss don't know we're sorter owls, an' kin see better in the dark nor in the.light,"respoirded number two. - "Fancies he'll 'scape us, I 'guess," continued. the first speaker. "Well, if he does, he'll be the 'first man that e -ver did that sort o' thing." "When he gits away, 1 hope he'll let us know it," rejoined the other confidentially. - That I had unfortunately fallen into the hands of two of the worst sort (A outlaws, • everything more and more betokened. I knew well with sneh men the life of almman beingwas of no more accountthanthelife of a dog, andinwardly resolved to part witleit, if part with it I must, in an at- tempt to escape, however desperate the adventure might be, under such- circumstances. it was now about time for another flash of light- ning, and, straightning myself up to avoid suspi- cion, I waited for it to pass. . The next moment it came, with almost blind- ing brilliancy... The outlaws had not moved a step, but remained as at first, closely regarding the spot where I was standtng. ' • ome stranger !" yelled. the same one who ad- dressed Me before, "it's nigh about time we had a better understanding ell 'round. Ye see, we don't tofeel long, an' we've been playing with yer • we're 'bout tired, weare. Yer money . or yer life's what we want, an' if yer don'tlikethat we'll take both without askin'. What cryersay, stran- ger?—what shall it be? Ef yerfor a fight sing out, anrI guess we can 'ccomodate yer. Fighting is our element, an' we're always ready fore scrim- mage. Now, ef yer don't do somethin' at wunst, we'll fire a round inter yer, we will sartin. During the time occupied by the outlaw in speaking, I had been preparing myself for an at- tempt. Summoning all my courage, all my en- ergy, and all my determination, I assumed an at- titude most favourable to my purpose and bound- ed forward at a despeiate speed in hopes of effect- ing my escape. The outlaws uttered a loud yell, and then let me know they understood my purpose :and were following in my tracks: But I expected as flinch, and consequently was not all surprised. Two muscular bounds brought. me beside 'my horse, and with a single spring 1 vaulted into mg sadclle. I thought my -self safe then'but .at that very mom* I felt violent hands laid upon me ; end. a flash' ollightning soon showed me that if I had been ,quick, my assailants had not been far behindline. • I• desperately attempted to start my horse, but before I could do so the outlaws dragged me from my seat and bore me to the ground. - "No go, stranger," cried one of them, "yer can't gib awa, from us no how ; yer can't so yer needn't try.' I was down on the ground on my back, and the desperadoes were stooping over nie on either side, with then. knees pressing, tightly against my chest. Still, however, I resisted, for I was not the man to give up without a struggle, desperate as might be my chances, and at that moment theyseeming- ly could not have been in a worse conditions My assailants, grew furious and handled me in any- thing but a gentle manner, but desperation gave a new lease of strength, and they found me no mean antagonist. By an effort of all my powers 1 at length managed to regain my feet. Unfor- tunatels , I had lost my knife in the struggle, and was entirely unarmed. Not so with the outlaws for they still had their dirks,- which they were making every -effort to use on my person. Mean- while the teMpest continued with its • original violence,' and -in the din of the storm ahnost every .sound of the desperate conflict- was entirely lost. At length iny superhuman efforts began to weary inc. • 1 -began to grow discouraged, ao, see- ing little chalice of my rescue. My protracted re-- sistanee tended also to excite the blackest pas- sions of my deadly assailants. They tore at me, and cursed and blasphemed in the most terrible manner. Suddenly I caright my right foot and fell heavily to the ground. The concussion. stun - nod me, and _before I regained my feet, the outlaws! Were again pressing me down. "Kill him! killhiin!" cried. one, as he clubehed me by the throat and. drew back his arm. "God have mercy On mel" I inwardly ejacula- ted, fully expecting, to receive my death wound before the expiration - of another moment. The arms of the outlaws were about to descend, carrying death to me—I could not see it, but I intuitively felt it was so—when the whole scene was suddenly. lighted up by the most blinding flash of lig,htnuag I ever beheld. _Instantaneously with the lightning the deafening thunder pealed forth. That was all I knew at the tim.e, for in- stantly I lost all consciousaess. - When. I recovezed my suspended. powers the storm. had passed away and the sun was shining brightly. I was lying upon the groimd and. felt weak and sore, but otherwise was not injured. Beside me lay the two outlaws buried in the deep sleep of death. They had been struck by the lightning, anal just -at the very moment when their hands were uplifted to deprive me of life. The great tree under which I had taken refuge was shivered into atoms and the whole scene was one of death and desolation. _ . Under such circumstances my own escape seem- ed miraculous, I humbly thanked.. God. for his in- finite mercy. The lightning had saved me from the outlaws, and. the Almighty had saved me from the lightning. Strange to say, ray horse had escaped, and with a full heart I mounted his back ancl started on my journey. That night in the wilderness I have never forgotton, nor is it likely I ever shall. Ale • 4111. Gin and Milk The Rev. Charles B. Smyth is now on trial be- fore the Prespyterian Church in this City, of which he is the pastor, on the grievous eharge of having broke the fourth commandment; to say nothing of the -excise law, by &biking gin and milk at a Worldly restaurant on a 16 -cent Sunday evening. An aggravating cireumstanee connect- ed with the offence was that the ministerial gin and milk was absorbed in company with a report- er attached to a morning paper. The latter, hor- rified at the bibulous eccentriety of the Rev. Mr. Smyth, straightway published. the incident, and so brought down the authorities of the church upon the erring pastor. It is understood that Mr. Smythe pleads guilty.both to the drinking of the gin and milk, and to the association with the reporter; but he alleges in his defence that his conduct was Prompted solely by medicinal reas- ons. The ecclesiastical court, which is known to recognize the.precedent established in the case of Timothy, who took a little wine for his stem.- ach's seke, can find no authority sufficient to justify its pastor in taking gin and milk for his kidneys sake, on a Sabbath day and in a sinful restaurant. It is, therpfore probable that Mr. Smyth will be made a warning example for the terror of all persons, especially ministers, who laave a craving for gin and milk. And it is use- less to conceal the fact that there will be few who will think any -punishment too severe for the ag- gravated and complicated nature of the offence. Had Mr. Smyth confmed himsell to gin, pure and simple, or even to gin in the compcnAnd form of the cheeriug cocktail or the satisfying sling, he would have met with some little sympathy. But when he deliberately chose so unnatural a com- pound as gin and milk, and acids thereto a re- porter of a sensation paper, he sinned against every law of intelligent and refined drinking. By all means, let the Church suspend him frori . the ministry until he has given satisfactory evi- dence that he has learned to drink the chinks which pertain to man in the civilized condition; and that he has forever' abandoned such indecent and unclerical beverages as gin and. milk, flavored. by the presence of a certam type of the repor- torial fraternity.—H. Y Wor/d. A BEAUTIFUL ISLAND.—A lady frOm London, who came clown with -her husband for the pur- pose of rusticating -among the romantic shades of the Island of Bute, called on a certainMrs. Snod- body, who let sea -bathing quarter § in the neigh- borhood of Rothsay, with the intention of arrang- ing for part Of her premihes. Having narrowly inspected. the accomodations, she asked if the beds were free of bugs. "Keep your mind easy about that," said the pawky landlady, " every- body but strangers ken that nae bugs come fut- ther doun the water than Gourock ; the smell o' the sea -weed kills them a' before 'they canj pass the Kempock." `• Well, that's one very comfort- able thing; now, my good woman, I wish to • ask you this—I was almost frightened to death with thunder in mil. journey from London; have you much thunder here during the .summer months ?" "Thunder !" cried Mrs. Snodbody, with a look of well -feigned astonishment, "Losh, mem? do ye no ken that Bute's an island! Wha ever heard o' thunder in an island?' The fair cockney, as if ashamed of her ignorance, turned to her husband, "Well, my dear, this is just the° spot for us; whata beautiful island it is, to be sure ; ‘Dand only think, that we'llneither be troub- led with bugs nor thunder." - A .LADY ATTACKED BY A BOA. CONSTRICTOR.— An Oxford correspondent sends an account of a very serious attack made on a young lady by e boa constrictor. It appears that a member of the University, who had lodgings in the High Street, Oxford kept a good-sized specimen of the boa con- • strictor in a box in his rooms, and that the daugh- ter of the landlady, attracted by a movement of the lids opened it, when her hand was seized. by the reptile with a firm grasp, which became tight- ened as it coiled around her arm. The young la- dy, although nearly frightened to death, scream- ed for help, and, on the arrival of assistance, was found in a swooning state, with her hand and arm firmly held by the capacious jaws and folds of ,the serpent. The occurrence created a panic amongst those who Were called to her assistance, but on recovering their presence of mind, they succeeded, by- jumping on the tail of the reptile' and other means, in making it -release its hold. The young lady, as may be supposed, is seriously REMARK AXLE AGRICULTURAL EXPERIMENTS. -- Some statistical notes on several' remarkable ex- periments in agriculture, made by Mr. Lawes, of Rothanetead, were given in the section devoted to econeinic science and. statistics. It was stated that a plot of meadow land which hadbeentreat- ed with artificial manures produced for 13 years an average of 64 cwts per acre annually ; while aaiother plot of exactly the same size, which had been unassisted except by nature, had yielded on- ly 24 cwt annually. During the same munber of years'four acres of land which had been tilled with barley, and were artificially manured, pro- duced on an average 50 bushels per acre; on the other hand, two plotwhich hacl been unmaturecl yielded only 211 bushels, The advantages of ar- tificial manures were further demonstrated by the announcement of the fact that i manuredplot of wheat had produced 2;291 pounds per acre, while an unreanuredpiece of (ground, yielded only 848pounds. Among the Cossacks of 'Ukraine leap year is eternal. When a young woman feels a tefider passion for a young man she seeks hira at the re- sidence of his parents, and addresses him as fol- lows: The goodness I see written in your countenance is a- sufficient assurance to me that you are capable of ruling and loving a wife, and younexcellent qualities encourage me to hope -that you will make a good husband. It is in this be- lief that I have taken the resolution to come and beg you with all due humility, to accept me for your lo?ving spouse." She then addresses the father and mother, and solicits their consent to the marriage. If she meets with a refusal, she declines to leave the house, and such conduct is usually crowned with success. The parents of the young man Beyer put the young maidens away, if they still persist in their stay, believing that in. so doing they would bring down theeven- gence of heaven upon, their heads. sole • lea STRANGE DISCOVERIES I/si THE Fan Captain Adams, Adams, of the United States Army, who has been exploring Colorada and Oregon, has made some ver fr curious discoveries. He believes that the entire West was inhabited by a civilized people not more than 700 or 800 years ago, He found in his explorations the remains of many ci- ties and towns. Tools of the most delicate artis- i tic constructions; gold, silver, coalandleadmines,j which itppe.ar to have been worked by skilled ar iizans, and thousands of acres of wheat, barley, rye. and corn growing wild. Captain Adams says he has no doubt the country isverywealthy, and that valuable treasures lie buriedi in the mines. -- Boston Daily New8. VARIE'rIES. If you and your sweetheart vote turn the mar- riage question, you for it, and she agamit it, don't flatter yourself as to its being.a tie. A bachelor editor, who had a pretty un- married sister, lately wrote to another editor similarly circumstanced : "Please exchange. " That was not a bad hit of a gentlenian going out of town in the cars, who said to his_ friend, a comparatively- young man, just retiring from business: "Ah' when people retire frora. bus- iness in town, they go to retire in the country:" It is rumored that Waghington girls !change ch.esses with each other, instead of getting new ones. Thus the papers keep the description of a dress in type, and all they have to do after a ball is to change the name of wearer. This is political economy. 1 Too bad.Of her—Lady passenger—you've for- gotten something, I think. Gentleman. passenger —thank you, have I •'; what is it ? es -Lady pas- senger—shut the door. Gentleman passenger and carriage doors -Very much shut up simultaneously. Alexander' T. Stewart says, • "He who invests one dollar in business should invest one dollar in advertising." Robert Bonner says, "My suc- cess is owing to the liberality in adverlismg. " Barnum said advertising made him a niillsen dol- lars in ten years. Stephen Girrard says,: "Con- stant and persistent aclvertisine is a sure prelude to wealth." A young lady, lavishing_ to entangle 4 young man in the meshes of Cupid, sent him the follow- ing invitation : "0 will you Come to tea with 1, And help me eat a custard pie ?" To, which the young man, with corresponding sen- timents and gramme; replied "Another one's asked me to tea, - And I xnust go and. sup with she." It has been said that every man has at least one good point in his character. A gentleman, travelling on Sunday, was obliged to have one of .the shoes of his horse replaced. The farrier was just going to church, but suggested. to the trav- eller that Jim Harrison might be fOund,at home at the next forge. This proved to be true, and the -rustic who had led the gentleman's horse to the spot, exclaimed, "Well, I must say that for Jinl, he do never go to church." At an assize in Ireland two men were con- denmed to be hanged. On. receiving their sen- tence, one of them. addressed -the Judge, and said he had two favours to ask hm "What are they?" said his lordship. "Please `your honor, will you let me hang this man before I am hanged myself ?" 'What is the other request ?" said thejudge quietly. "Why, please your honor, will you let my wife hang me, for she will -do it more tenderly than the hangman, and then what she will get for the job will help the p oor cratur to pay the rent," - Josh Billings Papers - I would jist lik to know who the man waz who. fust tsinvented tile butes. He must have bin a narrow and kontrackte& k If he still lives I hope" he Ihas repented biz sin, or iz enjoying grate agony of sum kind. I have bin in a grate many tite spots in my life, but generally could manage to take them average; but there iz no such thing as nialring a pair ofitite boots average. You -kan't git an average on the pinth ov a tite boot, enny more than you can on the bite ov a lobster. Enny man. who kan wear a pair of tite boots, and be humble and penitent, an.d not indulge in profane literatoor, will make a good husband. He will do more than that, he -will do to die vide up into several. fust klass huebands, and be made to answer for a whole naberhood. Oh ! for the pen ov departed Wm. Shakes- peare, to write an ananethensa against tite boots, that would make anshunt Rome wake -up and howl again, as she did once before on a -previous ockaphun. 011 ! for the strength of Herkules, to tare into shu Istrings all the tite boots - ov kreashun, and skatter them to the 4 winds ov heaven. Oh' for the buty of Venus, tew make a big feet look hansum without -a lite boot on. it. • Oh ! for the pashunce of Job the Apostle, to nuts a tite boot and bless it, and even pia for one a size sMaller an' more pinchful. • Oh!• for apair ov boots big enuff for the foot ov a mountain. - I hav- bin led. into the &boy collection. of "Oh's3" from having in my posseesInin at this moment; a pair of number 9 boots, with a pair of inunber- 113\fleief- talent tahreen. z a dog's nose the haat time he wears a muzzle. - I think mifeet will eventually choke the boots to death.. I live in hopes they will. I supposed I had lived long enough not to be phoolecl agin in this way, but I hay found that an ounce -of vanity weighs more than a pound ov reason, espeshily when a man mistakes a big foot for a small one. Avoid tite boots. my friend, as 3ra' would the grip ov the devil, for many a man ha.s caught fur life a fust rate habit ov swearing by encouraging his feet to hurt his boots. I have promised mi two feet at least a dozen. ov times during mi checkured life, that they never should be strangled a,gin, but I find them to -day as full of pains as the -stem-mils ake from a sudden attackt of the boots. But this is solemnly the last pair of ox -hide boots I will ever wear; I will hereafter wear boots az big az my feet, if I have to go barefoot for to do it, I am too old andtoo respeetable for a pl.] oyl beon na tys zmourne. euv.the luxuries uv life, but forgit what the other, luxury iz, but I don't no az I care, provided I can get rid. ov this pair ovtitea, boots. Any man kan have them for seven dollars, jist half what they kost, and if they', don't melfe his feet ake Iv -ass than an angle worm in hot ashes, he needn't pay for there. Methuelaz lathe only man that I kan kall to mina Dow w33.0 could have afforded to have were - tite boots and enjoyed them; he .i44a grate - deal ov spare time to be miserable in, but life now iz short, elate° full of a,ktual bizziness to phool nny ov it on tite boots. standing, . The:boots, are an insult' to onnY maeS under- Hetwhheokwornea.rs tite beets have to edgeaelmo,vrl- Tite boots have no bowels of inersy, their in- sides are wrath and prorniskious cuesing. Beware ov tite boots. -