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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1870-04-15, Page 1AIL g 870. SALE 0 FARM LANDS T1111 f Turnberry, tat RURON. ver of sale contained in a al by Public Auction by the EAFORTH HUROtt, ON rth April, 70, l O'CLOCK A. M. %ores of Lot 25, yard the tt 26, in Concession "0," mberry in the County of asie,—possession imme- adjoins the Village of 22 mileaof Walkertovnt, to width there are good fifty acres cleared, with fencing. The property upset price of $1.200. of purchase money to be en the purelia.ser will be !r and to be let into pot r years, or in tour equal he option of the purchae- ht per cent, to be secyred nises, The conditions of 860f the Court of Chant r application to JAmEs IL Seaforth, or to the Ven - MILL tit CATTANACH. 1870. 120-td— elt Cut 6040 my and Taste LT Goderich Street, tit S 1 p Guaranteed. INCIDERATE. tOOR TO flrug Store, 82-tf. THE OLDEN to inform the public that a great variety of 8,4 and K aepared to. sell agt Unparelleted, rY description, warrant. -melt neck. of ,1Iarness it position to give hui ue for theirmoney as cabs, Ontario, employed, india- OSITE "riDD HN CAMPBELL. 52-tf. UNISE 011 bawl at their Mills, m. the Village of Ain. of Good DRY PINE. tngdiffereet kinds; viz • .4 two, ineb, clear, - A isach and a quarter, anct oth (Treesed and under- , common boar& ind -long. Board and strip be sold at redetred d a first-class planning achinery, and intend f *11 kinds constantly on being able to procure es of Lumber at -their e advetised. t to themill can have it- lotice and lawest possible M. & SMITE. nth 114-tf r PARTNERSHIPS ren that the partnership it e.arried on by Meesri. , as general merchants, tyle and firm of G. & J. Wroxeter in the County tiso/ved by mutual con - Will front henceforth be t only, and the said John lecharge all debts, and ticcount of the said Part - GEORGE INGLIS. t JOHN INGLIS, O, A. D. 1870. • tee WM. F. LUXTON, "Freedom in Trade—Liberty sre Religion Equality in Civil Rights". EDITOR & PUBLISHER. VOL. 3, NO. 19, SEAM= FRIDAY, APRIL 1 1870. WHOLE NO. 123. BUSINESS 'CARDS. MEDICAL. RTRACY, M. D., Coroner for the County of e Huron. Office and Residence—One door East of the Methodist Episcopal Church. Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868. 53-ly TT L. VEROOE, M. D.C. M., Physician, Sur- geon, etc, Office and Residence, oorner of Market and ieigh Street, immediately in rear of Kidd & McMulkin's St 're .Seaforth, Feb. 4th. 1870. 53-1y. R. W. R SMIT if, Physician. Surgeon, etc. le/ Office, —Opposite Veil's Grocery. Resi- .delace—Main-street, North. Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1863. 53-1 y JCAMPBELL, M. D. C. M., (Graduate ..f Nie- . GiU University, Ivlontreel) Physician, Sur- geon, etc., Seaforth. OffiCe and Residence --Old Post Office Bitilding, up stairs, where he will be found by. night or day when at home. t Seaforth, July 15th, 1869. 84-ly LEGAL flAMERON & GARBOW, Barristers, Solicit- . kt ors M Chancery, &c. OFFICE,—Kingston , St., Goclericb. . ea C. CAMERON, J. T. GARROW. Seaforth, April 14, 1870. 53-tf WNSON & MEYER, Barristers and Attorney t Law, Solicitors in Chancery and Insolv- ency, Convrya,ncers, Notaries l'ublic, etc. Of-. fices,—Seaforth and Wroxeter. Agents for the Trust and Loan -Co. of Upper Canada, and the Colonial Securities Co. of London, Eagland. Money at 8 per cent; no commission, charged. JAS. 11. BENSON, fl.W. C. MEYER, Seaforth, Dec. 10th 1868. 531y, TIOA.UG HEY & HOLMSTEAli, Barristers, Vi Attorneys at Law, Solicitors in Chancery and Insolvency, Notaries Public and Conveyanc- ers. Solieitors for the R. C. Bank, Seaforth, Agents for the Canada Life Assurance Co. N. 0 to lend at 8 per cent. Farms, Houses and Lots for sale. Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868. 53-tf. PF. -WALKER. Attorney -at -Law and So- • licitor in -Chancery, Conveyancer, Notary Public, &c. Office of the Clerk of the Peace, Court House, Goderiele Ont. ' N.B.----Money to lend at 8 per cent on Farm Lands. ' Jan'y. 28. 1870. 12-ly DENTAL G. W. HARRIS, L. D.-tS. Ara ficial Dentures inserted withallthe latett improvements. The .greatest care taken for the preservation of deceeed arid tender teeth. Teeth extraeted without pain. Rooms over Collier's Store. Seaforth. Dec: 14, 1898. ly, HOTELS. 0 HARP'S HOTEL, Livery Stable, and Genera 0 Stage Office, Main-steeet. R .L SI1ARP, Prop. Seaforth, Jan. 8th, 1869. 53:tf. COMMERCIAL HOTEL, A inleyville, dames ‘...) Laird, proprietor, affords tirtt-class aceom- modation fer the travelling pub!ic '1' he larder and bar are always supplied w ith tire best the naarketa afford. Excellent stilt] ing iu connection A inleyville, April 23, 1869. 70 -tf. T m ROSS, Proprietor New Dominion Hotel,. begs to inform the people ef Seaforth and • the travelling community generally, that he keeps first-class.accommodation in every thing required by travellers. A good stable and willing hostler always on hand, Regular Boardert will receive every neeessary attention.. Seaforth, Feb, 8th, 1869. Q3 ]y ARCHITECTS. MAILL & CROOKE, Architects, etre Plans 0 and Specifications drawn correctly. Carpen- ter's, Plasterer's, and Mason's work, -measured and valued. Office—Over J. C. Petrol. & Co.'s store, Court -House. Square, Goderich. Goderich, April 23, 1869. 791y. -ETENRY WA T KINSON, Architect and Build- er . Plans, Specifications an 1 Details drawn correctly. Every description of -Building Works measuredand valued. Bills of cidantiaes pre- pared. OFFICE. —Next door North of Mr. Hick - son's old store, Seaforth. Seaforth, June 9th, 18:it. t9-tf SliRVEYORS. G& McPHILLIPS; Provincial Land Sur- , veyort, Civil Eneineert, etc.. All -memr of Conveyancing done with matrices and dispateh. G. McPhillips, Commissioner in Pt R. Office— Next door south of Sharp's Hotel, Seaforth, Seaforth, Dec. 14, 18.68. 53- hv AUCTIONEER. BHAZLEHURST, Licensed Auctioneer fo . the County of Huron. Goderich, Oet Particular attention paid to the sale of Bankrupt Stock. Farm Stock Sales- attended on Liberal Terms. Goods Appraised, Mortgages Foreclosed, Landlord's Warrants Executed. Also, Bailiff First Division Court for Huron. d erich, June 9th, 1869. 76. tf, 1- S. -PORTER, Seaforth, Ont., dealer in hides, . sheep skins, furs and wool. Vberal advance- raents made on consignments. Money to lend. Insurance agent. Debts collected. Highest price paid for green backs.--0ffice east side of Main- Street, one door north Johnson 13ros'. Hardware Store, • 1224f. - LEARN A LiiirLE EVERY DAY. Litth rills make wider streamlets, Streamlets swell the rivit's flow; Rivers join the mountain b.11ows, Onward, onward as they go! • Life is made of smallest fragments, Shade and sunshine, work and play; So may see with greatest profit, Learn a little every day. Tiny seeds make boundless harvests, Drops of rain compose the showers, Se clouds make the flying minutes, And the minutes inake the hours! I Let us hasten, t.e a, and eget' them,f. As they pets us on the way; And with honest, true endeavor, Learn a little every day. Let us read some striking passage, • Cull a verse from every page; Here a line, and theie a sentence, eet'Gainst the lonely time of age; 1 -At our work or by the wayside, While the sunshine's making hay; Thus we may by help of study, Learn a little every day. FROM THE DRAV'i. Many years ago a young American, a medical -student named Astley went to Lima. The love of adventure was strong upon him, and all he met with in his own country was too tame to satisfy it, proud ofthe profession for which he was study- - Mg, and trusting to it for subsistence, strong and healthy in body and in mind, be left the United States with a bold heart, and this was the life he led and what came of it: At a time wh_ en the difficulty of procuring sub- jects for anatomical study was very great, and when to procure them honestly was impossible, a3 the prejudice against dissection was so strong that no one was willing to submit tbe body of ally one connected vtitb him to examination, it is well known that there were men_ who made it their business to obtain, at no small risk, bodies, gene- rally those of the newly -buried, Which they . sold to surgeons, medical students, or indeed to any one who stood in need of the ghastly commodity. Thisillaiss; known as body -matchers" and "resurrection men," has died out, since there is happily now little prejudice against what has tri- umphantly proved to be a necessary branch of scientific . study; but at the- %time of our story theirlideous work was a thriving and profitable one. Richard Astley, in common with the rest of the profession, availed himself of their szrvices, and many a time in the black n'ght Li3 cloar was open- ed to those who did not knock, but who were waited for, and, who entered silently, deposited a dread burden on the table prepared for its re- ception. Old and young,- men women and chil, dren, all in turn lay upon that grim table, and A stley's skilful instruments cut their way to se - wets that were destined to benefit the living. Though he was not hard-hearted, it was not untatural that in time he 'should grow so much :ic customed to the sight of his 'subjects" as to feel nothing bat a momentary pity as he pat aside the cl u ste ing curls of infancy, or lir leo vered th e face of a man struck down in the glory of his years. One night, as many nights before, the stealthy -visit si-as paid, and Astley took his lamp to exam- ine the new subject. Neither strong man nor tender • oink' this time, but a young arid beautiful woman. The dead face was SO lovely that it did not seem possible that light in the elo ea ;eyes and color in the pale lips and cheeks,' cord &make it lovelier. The hair had fallen back and gave no shade to the white brow, and the long fair lashes ley in a thick fringe upon the violet tintcl underlids. -She was very tall ancl slender, and her hands -- one of which hung clown as she lay upon the ta- ble ---were long and-raerfectly shaped. As Astley lifted -the hand to lay it on her breast, he thought how beautiful it must have been since now, when therewas not the faintest tint the healthy pallor of it Was exquisite. She wore one garment, a long flannel shroud,- very straightly made, through which scanty drapery the outline of her slen- der limbs was distinctly visible, and below which her delicate. feet were seen bare. to the ankle. AstIey was -troubled as he had never been before. The idea 0 treating this beautiful corpse as he had done all others brought to him in like man- ner waseepulsive to him, and he recoiledfrom it as frorathe thourt of sacrilege. But how could he rid hinise`f o the lovely incubus ? It wai possible that the man who brought it might be bribed to take it back again, and if theY should refuse—but he mai incapab e of distinct thought upon the subject, and could only determine that in any case the beautiful thine beore him should betreated witli revereuce and respect He gen- tly covered it frora head to foot with a long white cloth, and, locking the door of communication be- tween his bedroom aud the room ia which it lay, threw himself upon the bed without undressing, for the night was nearly gone. But his sleep was broken, and -his dreems were feverish, and in some way connected with what lay *the next room. Now it seemed to him that it glided in through the locked door, -with hands folded on its breast, and eyes still fast closed, and stood by his bedside, and now the dream was that he had opened a vein in one of the delicate arms, and that warm. living blood poured fast from it; and finally he woke with a cry of horror from a ghastly clre un that he had entered the roo,n and found that some unknown hand had anticipated him in the wo-k of dissection. The horror was upon him after he bad woke to know it wasea dream, and opening the door he looked in upon the table. No change there of any kind. The long -sheeted figure lay in the half light of dawn as he had seen it in the lamp -light, very straight and still. It was not until nearly Mon that Astley raised the covering to look once again upon the beauti- ful dead fate, and when he did so 'he saw with wonder noti-unmixed with terror. that a change had come upon it. He could not tell what it might be; the deadly pallor was there still, but in some way the face was not the same. He looked in to it long and curiously. Surely a change had passed over the eyes for though they were still fast shut, they looked now as though closed in sleep rather than in death. He lifted an eyelid tenderly with his finger, unconsciousness, trance, there might be, but not death. He was certain now that she was not dead, though he could find no life in her pulses. For hours he strove to call back the spirit, until, at length color returned and warmth and life, and she lay befoie him sleeping tranquilly like a child. He heti placed her on his bed, and now sat by her side with a throbbing heart taawait her awaken- ing. • She slept long and in the waning light looked so pale, that he feared she was again about to fall in- to the -deathly trance from which he had with to much difficulty recovered her. In his terror, he cried out tor her to awake, and the sound of the cry awoke her with a start. . lie had prepared a speech that was to calm and re issu. e her when she awoke bewildered to find. herseif so strangely clothed aud lodged : but she no mot e needed calming and reassuring than an infant too young' to know its mother from any other woman.. She looked around with -a wonder - ng gaze that was almost infautine, and her eyes. resting upon Astley, she sat up in the bed and asked. him in his own language for food. It was evident that she had no recollection of illness, and neither auxiety nor curiosity as to her p. esent po- sition. She ate the food which was brouitht tt her ith, an appetite, and would have risen from the bd, appareutly unconscious that she wore no germ! nt but a shroud, had not Astley persuaded hr tojlie down and sleep agent. Ile left her sleeping and went to another room profoandly puzzled. . Here was this beautiful wo- men, ignoi ant, and ahnost helpless as a child, the, we apun aim for protection, as it was clear that she did not remember anything which would leid to the de3covery of her friends. It was pos- sible that her sentes had left her altogether, never retara ; the lovely creature might be a harna- less idiot all the rest of her days. Her speaking Enghsh was another puzzle, She might be an Englishwoman—her beauty was certainly ef the Saxoa type—or she might only have learned. the En dish language; but if so, how came that knowledge to hive been retained when. all else se :rued gone? 11: s perplexity was interrupted by the entrance of the ci tic of it. She stood-iu the door wrapped round ia one of the bed coverings, looking at him twt a childish, vacant expression that was t mchine in its helplessness. "I mut c ill her something," he thought as she stood app trently waiting for7hiro. to speak, "her n une shell be Mary." Then, turning to her, he asked,— 1. "Are you better, Mary, and will you sit in this o1iur She peid no attention to the inquiry, but took the proffered seat, and began silently rocking her- self.. Aiey felt a sensation very like fear thrill throe .ch 'ham He must do something, for he could not beer this. He took up a, book, the first oue th t e tem to hand—it was an English one -- and offered it to her, asking if she would liketo rea She took it with a smile, and la,ying it on her keees, b 3giai to flutter the leaves backwards and iorwards, playing icily with them. "Good heavens !" thought Astley to himself, "she is e ma t imbecile at any rate; I must do sometning with her." • But it was impossible to think with her before him, and taking her by the hand, he said :— Now, Mary, you must go back to bed, and to. mori 0 --" . - She did not wait for the rest or the sentence, hut r at once to do as she was bidden, • thiew d rem the book' and, letting fall thecoverlet, that lieu- envelopedher, welked quietly back to - her TO0111. Astley fastened the door, and felt as though he were going mad from Sheer bewilderment. She mast have clothes the very first -thing,and how were they to Fe procured unless he took some one into his confidence? Even if he knew where to go for then, he knew nothing of what a woman's teethes should be. It was evident that some one m .st be told of this extraordinary adventure, and Nsras equally evident that it must be a woman in whom he confided, as he required practical 'help of a, kind that no man could give him. The in ening dawned before he could' arrange any sett'ed plan, and he decided that he could n t f heweuldridhimself of thecherge of he here - lore sue snouldremain in his house, and. he would tell all to the Woman who acted as his housekeep- er, who chanced to be absent at the timet but whose return he expecte 1 that very clay. He would bind her to secresy by the most' solemn with he could devise, and if she failed to keep it, why—at any rate he was in a most terrible scrape . and this seemed the best thing te be done. The women returned early in the day, -and Astley at °nee told her all, and implored her assistance. To his great relief she agreed .to do all that lay in her power for the unhappy girl, and a few aren,ge- ments made Astley left the house for the day, de- termined to Shake off the Unpleasant impression which the whole thing had made upon him. - Returning at night be found Mary comfortably clothed, and looking leis `pale and ill. His house- keeper told .him that the had been dressed like a child, having apparently no idea of assisting her- self. • It would be impossible to descriL minutely how intelligence dawned, and grew swiftly in the poor girl's mind. It was not a gradual growth from infancy, but came in fitful snatches. The greatest change came first, when her face bright- ened from its sweet, blank vacancy of expression at Astley's approach, and then she began to wait upon him like a loving child. He devoted him- self to her very tenderly, almost as a mother de- votes herself to her child, and. with infinite pa- tience learned her to read and. write. She also learned to sew, and was not unskilful in woman's craft ; but what he taught her she learned quick- est, said best. (CONbLUDED NEXT WEEK.) A Californian 3torriance. It would seem, from the frequent occurrence of . remarkable incidents, that there is certainly no- thing of an improbable nature, judging from the fAlowing wonderfully strange story which came to our ears a few days since. In the spring of 1849, when the gold fever Was at its highest possible state of excitement in Cali- fornia, there lived in the State of Virginia, on the banks of the York River, a fewmiles below York- town, a gentleman of culturetwhote parents were in moderate circumstances. It was daring the gold excitement he left the comforts of a home, his friends, relatives, a loving wife, whom he had led to the altar but a year since and an only child—a daughter of two months—and itook up his lonely journey to seek his fortune infthe wild, distant West, over and beyond the Rocky Mountains, where the bright and g Aden sun sinks dcwn to restaanid the blue wa.vet of the grand Pacific. After years of toil, drudgery, and reverse e of fortute in the mines, be came to this city and en- gaged in business. He being successful, soon amassed an immense fortune. His beloved wife had died during a prevailing epidemic, while ona visit to some relatives during the yellow -fever season at New Orleans, as at the same time did a little girl of another family, of the same name and age as his little daughter. He visited the States but could find no clue to his deceased wife's sister; he thought, she, too, had died. He returned to the Golden State, and time and the whirling excite- ment of business soon healed his sorrows, and ef- faced, apparently, all recollections of his old home on the banks of the placid York. "Shortly after the completion of the Pacific rail- road there arrived at this city a gentleman, his wife, and a beautiful, well educated, and graceful young lady, just blooming into maidenhood, ap- parently and really about eighteen summers. It was by chance the young lady and aged widower met—and to meet was to love. They were duly married after a short acquaintance; theceremony being celebrated with great eclat, and creating no little flutter in the fashionable and wealthy cir- cles of our city. The fact that both parties bore the same Christian name excited no comment or inquiry, as it was one alineet quite as common as that of Smith or Brown. A few weeks after the raaniage, as the husband and wife naturally inquired into each other's past history and antecedents and were gradually be - coining better acquaintZd with each other, the denouement came—they were father. and daughter. Facts About Ireland's Patron Saint The nativity of St. Patrick has many claim- ents—England, Scotland, Wales, France, and other countries. Long and warmly has the sub- ject been discussed by antiquarians, but without arriving at any acknoWledged solution. It has been shown, however, thethe was of aPatrican family, and was born in the year, A. D., 1872. At sixteen years of age he was carriedoff by pirates, and sold in slavery to the Irish pagans, who kept him in slavery as a swineherd on the mountains of Sleamish, County of Antrim, for seven long Years, after which he escaped, and with many ups and -downs reached the Contin- ent Having acquired a good knowledge of Irish, he was sent back to Ireland as a missionary, un- der papal authority. He found most violent en- emies in the Drudicial priests, who then held sway in the island, and would not suffer any innova- tion. This caused him to send a curse upon the°. fertile soil, which turnedit into dreary bogs, upon their rivers, which thenceforth raised no fish; upon their kettles, so that they would not boil, and at last upon the Druids theinselves, so that the earth yawned and swallowed them up . One morning,. according to a popular. legend, Patrick and his people were on a mountain/ cold and fatigued, without a fire to cook their break- fast, or warm their benumbed limbs. He -col- lected a, pile of ice and snowballs and breathed upon it, when it at o'nce kindled into a cheerful blaze, or as the poet consciesly expresses it: "St Patrick, as in legends told, The morning being very e old, In. order to assuage the weather, Collected bits of ice together, Then gently breathed upon.the pyre When every fragment blazed on fire," St. Patrick's greatest miracle, and for which he is sungin poesy, and celebrated in story, was the banishment of thevenemous reptiles from the land, and making the soil so obnoxious to them that ever afterwards they instantly died on touching it. It is sad he did so by beating a bit, drum, which he beat • so hard that he knocked the head in, thereby endangering the success of his work, But an angel came and mended the instrument, after which he hammer- ed away until every serpent was drummed out. The soil, however has since returned to its nor- mal condition, for forty years ago, a Mr. Cleland hying in the Comity of Down, being desirous of the legend, brought over half a dozen snakes from England and let them loose in his garden. A week afterwards one of them was found alive and wriggling, and caused intense game/Long the " omadliawns" of the neighborhood.. A - clertyman tried to show that the .Milleniura was 9 coming, andanother saw it in the type of the cholera morbus, which he was sure was about to visit the land. • Rewards were offered for the de- struction of any other things of a like breed that might be found in the district, and sure enough three more were soon "nailed." . It is gravely stated that St. Patrick was the first Irish distiller, and taught the natives how to make "poteen." But the most authentic ac- counts agree that he was a strict promoter of temperance, in proof of which. it is said that in 445 he commanded all to abstain from drink in the day time till the vesper bell. One Colman who was cutting his hay obeyed the'injunction so completely, that he did not touch a drop of water the whole of the day, which was very sul- try, and at even -song dropped. dead from thirst. The popular notion of the shamrock is, that St. Patrick, when preaching the doctrine of the Trin- ity, used this plant to symbolize the great mys- tery. The trefoil in Arabic is called syainrokh, and was held sacred in Iran as emblematical of the Persian Triads. Pliny, the natunal historian, says serpents are never seen on trefoil, and it prevails against their deadly stings. This fact is remarkable, considering St Patriek's con- nection with the snakes. In the Vtaltie Mountains, between Cork and Tipperary, there are seven lakes, in one of which Lough Dilveen, itis said St. Patrick, when banish- ing the snakes and toads, chained a monster rep- tile, telling him to stay there till Monday, and the *serpent every Monday is wont to call out, "It's a long Monday, Patrick." SCIENCE —A paper has just been read by Dr. Milliot in the Academy of Sciences of Paris, which is -worth mentioning in the cause of huma- nity. The doctor reveals a new method for ex- tracting projectigs from wounds by applying a piece of soft iron to the affected part, and magne- tising it by means of an electric current. In this manner the doctor, with a rather complicated ap- paratus, can attract fragments of shells and. iron projectiles coated with lead frora Various Mall distances *cording to the force of the eurrent too.. Bad Memory.—A -village pedagogue in despair with a stupid boy, pointed at the letter A, and asked him if he knew it. "Yes sir. " Well, what is it ?" "1 know him very well by sight, but hang me if I can remember his name." VARIETIES, retni waters' ta‘ e neverbeen so deceptive as since the tax on whiskey. The difference between a lost art and a lost heart --only an aspiration. The most effective way to put a man out of countenance is to cut his head off. Which is the largest jewel in the world ?—The Emerald Isle. The time to buy another umerella—just after you have lent one. Why should a wood cutter never be hungry? —Because he an always have a chop by axing. To cure deafness.—Tell a man you've &roe to pay him money. It beats acoustic cil all hol- i0W.— What kind of a buildieg -would yeu mere, did you wish to know a secret? Hotel, (0 tell). An unprofitable industry—spinning yarns at Street corners. Fashionable young ladies, like letters, require stamps, or the males rejtet ihtin. Why is the coupling cha n of a lccemotive like love? Becau:re it's a tender attachment When the enterpriting butcher's boy "set up Oil his own hook" did he firm a cenifortatle seat? What medicine does. a man take when he's got a cross wife ? Elixir. Who is the straightest man mentioned in the 13ib1e ? Joseph, because Pharaoh made a ruler 4IhViinhy. is reading a love letter like rifling in an express train? Because one generally goes through without stopping. What is the difference between a barber and the mother of a family ? One has rezort fo shave, the other has shavers to raise. An Ohio town purposes to give its women the right to vote, provided they will become retpon-: Bible for their husbands' debts, and turn out to mend the roads. - A lady gave this reason for not knowing the . color of her minister's :eyes: " When he prays he shuts his own eyes, when he preaches he shuts mine." Graveyard tabelaux.—A Philadelphia paper says "there is a graveyard in Pemtylvania, where may be seen the impressible picture of a man tleeping peaceably by the side of six wives." Some congregations seem to be particular as • to their preaehers. One of these gave public not:ce that they wanted a preacher, but went on to specify that, besides being a good -Christian, he must have a good moral character. "How are you, Broom," asked a bluff old sail- or of a fop who was always annoyed unless he was addressed as Mr. Broom, and wbo respond- ded, "I'd have you to know, sir, that I've a handle to my name."—"Ole all right How are you Brodinhancne ?" A lady having asked a poor woman living in the Westport, Eclinborugh, if she ever went to church M that neighborhoou--Dr. Chambers" -the woman replied. "Oh ay, there's a mon (b„'d Chalmers preaches the's, and whiles I gang in and hear him, just to encourage, him, puir body." The Emperor of the French asked one el his generals, the other day, whether he could land land -troops at Woodwich with sarety, "Yes, Sire, was the reply, "1 could land them safely but whether I could embark them safely is an- other question." . There is an enthusiast out west who fancies himself the Son of Gbd named Walter Christ. He undertook to fist forty days, and took up his residence in the Missouri bottomlie wat dis- covered by some boys milking cows at night. He hat blue letters marked on his forehead, whiclehe says are of angelic peinnan.. hip. A poor ma,n was -killed in IViichigan a few weeks ago, under the most distressing circinne stances, leaving his Wife sick and penniless. A bachelpr friend interested himself in the matter, and rdised sixteen hundred dollars for the widow, then proposed, and. hem° accepted, married her, and pocketed the money himself. A young lady, noted for her affected manners, . recently entered the show room of a fashionable milliner in New . York, with whom her fandly were acquainted, for the purpose of making some trifling purchases. On being asked how her mother was, replied : "She is not very well. " —Ah I what is the matter with her I" "She fell - down stairs and hurt her courtesy bender. "--- " Her what ?"---" Her courtesy bender. "— Courtesy bender What is that" inquired the milliner—" Why, her knee,s, " was the reply. - A lady's age happening to be questioned, she affirmed that she was but forty, and called upon a gentleman that was in company for his opinion. "Cousin," said she, "do you believe I'm in the right when I say I am but forty ?" "rought not to dispute it, Madam," replied he, "for I've heard you say so these ten years." There is a story of *a witness in a court of law who was called to attest to a person's insanity. "1 know he's mad," .said the witness, "because he imagines himself to be the Prophet Jeremiah." "Do you consider that to be a proof of mental derangement ?" asked the exaurining counsel" "1 should rather think so," confidently replied the witness, "seeing that I myself ani the Pro- phet Jeremiah." . Short Lettex s Sone very amusing incidents of laconic letter's are given. Lord Berkeley says to the Duke of Dorset : , Dear Dorset—I have just been married and am the happiest dog alive. BERKELEY. And gets for answer— My Dear Nephew—Every dog has his day.--- - Dower. A young fellow at college, wrote to his nrcha on whom he entirely depended: Dear Uncle—Ready for the needful.—Your at. fectionate nephew. . The uncle replied— My Dear Nephew—The needful is not ready. -- Your affectionate uncle. ioIt is pleasant that affection should survive ni cuary embarrasments as in the case of Samuel bte's inother and himself: Dear Sam—I am in prison for debt. --come and E. Focrim help your loving mother. Sam replied— Dear Mother—So am I ; which prevents this duty being paid to his loving mother by her afr fectionate son. Self FOOT'S,