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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Huron Expositor, 1870-03-11, Page 1Mareh 4, 1871. t: bw the Largest Stock of ODS Seat, Styles of Drese Patterna, h Poplins, all Wool Plaids, raid Twills of various kinds, feted in &death., Depart - r a large assortment of fiats, 'inties of the Lateat Fashi- VERY CHEAP-. E CLOTHING 1 40O1TWEED. SUITS FOR N DOLLARS. litt SHOES ! THAN EVER eery choice stock of Groceries! for their $1-00 Tea, ; 11lbs. Raisins, and t Sugar. COURSE SALT CaiL KIDD & McMOLKIN. SAW h.rison & Co., ALL KINDS 07 AVY lass, Putty Blacksmith Coals, ubs, Rims, Spokes, upplies of all kinds: CREWS TO HIRE, 28, 1870. 112 WM. F. LUXTON, bike+wFo.r•m,e..EM•owa•wso..n...Of'ed,Saefe*"....rezo..,e.r•reobexarae.,... Freedom in Trade --.Liberty in Religion --Equality in Civil Rights". EDITOR &PUBLISHER VOL 3, NO. 1 SEAFORTH FRIDAY, MARCH 11, 1870. WHOLE NO. 118. BUSINESS CARDS. MEDICAL. 1111) TRACY, M. D., Coroner for the County of _ft. Huron. Office and Retidence—One door Bastof the Methodist Episcopal Church. . Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868. ET L. VERCOE, M. D. C. -M., Physician, Sur - 111. geon, etc. Office and Residence, dueler • of Market and High Street, immediately in rear, of Kidd & MclVfulkin's Store. Sea.forth, Feb. 4th. 1870. 13- 1 WT. It. SMITH, Physician, Surgeon S etc. Office,—Opposite years Grocery. Resie dence—Main-street, ,North. Seaforth, Dec. 14; 1863. 53-ly JCAMPBELL, M, D. C. M., (Graduate o Me - Gill University, Montreal) Physician, Sur- geon, etc., Seaforth. Office and Residence- ld Post Office Building, up stairs, where he wiijj be found by night or day when at hoine. Seaforth, July 15th,.1869. LEGAL. C. CAMERON, Barrister and Attorn.y-at „ Law, Goderich. Ont. December 14th, 1869. r3-tf "p -A_ - YS & ELWOOD, Barristers and Attoileys [1 at Law, Solicitors in. Chancery, Not ries Pablic Conveyancers, etc. Office. Over - Mr. Archibald's Store, Orabb's Block, Goderich, Out.: • Money to Lend. W. TORRANCE HAYS, Seaforth, Dec, 14th, 1868 • J. Y. ELM -00 53-1y. BENSON & MEYER, Barristers and Att4ney at Law, Solicitors in Chancery . and ineolv- ency, Conveyancers, Notaties Public, etc.. Of- fices,.—Seaforth and Wroxeter. Agents for the Trust anctlaoan Co. of Upper Canada, and the Colonial Securities Co. of 'London, England. Money at 8 per cent, no commission; charged. JAS. IL BE2SO,i.-,.7, • n. w. C. )fF;Y4t. Seaforth, Dec. 10th 1868. , 53-jly , 5CAUG HE Y & HOLMSTE AD, Barristers,' Attorneys at Law, Solicitors in Chancery 1 and insolveuey, Notaries Public and Conv-eyanc- ers. Solicitors for the R. C. Bank, Seai rth, Agents for - the Canada Life Assurance 100. N. B. —$30,000 to lend at 8 per cent. Fa 8,' Housessend Lots for sale. Seaforth, Dee: 14th" 1868, f 53-tf. MI F. WALKER. Attorney -at -Law and ficitoriti-Chancery, Conveyancer; Notary &c. Office of the Clerk of the Peace, Court House, Goderich, Ont. N. B. --Money to lend at 8 per cent on Farm Lands. Goderich, Jarey. 28. 1870. 112-1y. DENTAL. G. W. HARRIS, L D. S. Ai -ti: ficial Dentures inserted with all the . latest improvements. The greatest care taken for the prevervation of decayed and tender teeth, Teeth extracted without pain. Rooms over Collier's Store. Seaforth. Dec. 14, 1898. ly. HOTELS. SHARP'S HOTEL, Livery Stable, and Genera Stage Office; Main -street R .L SHARP, Prop. Seaforth, Jan. 8th4 1869. 53 :tf. • (-SOMME RC1AL• HOTEL, Ainleyville, James. k.s Laird, proprietor, affords tirst-clasa accom- • modation for the travelling public. The larder aml bar are always .supplied with the best the markets afford. Excellent stabling in connection A inleyville, April 23, 1869. 70-tf. Jit- ROSS; Proprietor New Dominion Hotel, • begs to inform the people of Seaforth and • the travelling community generally,,, that he keeps first-class accommodation in every thing requited by travellers. A good stable and • willing hostler always on hand, Regular Boarders will receive every necessary attention. Seeforth, Feb. 8th, 1869, • • 63-1y, ARCH I TECTS'. SMAILL & CROOKE, Architects, ete. Plans and Specifications drawn correctly. Carpen- ter's, Plasterer's, and Mason's work, measuted and valued. Office—Over J. C. Detlor & Co.'s store, Court -House Square,- GOderich. Goderich, April 23, 1869. • 79-1y. TTENRY WATKINSON, Architect and Build- er . Plans, Specifications anl Details drawn correctlte Every description of Building \Vertu measured and valued. Bills of quantities pre- pared. OFFICE. —Next door North of btr. Hick son's old Store, Seaforth. Seaforth, June 9th, 1869. •79 - tf SURVEYORS. & W. McPHILLIPS; Provincial Land Sur- • veyors, Civil Eneineera, etc. All manner of Conveyancing done with neatness and,dispatch. G. McPhillips, Commissioner in 13. R. Office -- Next door south of Sharp's Hotel, Seaforth. Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1868s - 53- ly AUaTIONEER. BHAZLEHURST, Licensed Auctioneer fo . the County of Huron. Goderich, Ont Particular attention paid to the sale of Bankrupt Stock. Farm Stock Sales attended on Liberal Terms. Goods Appraitted, Mortgages Foreclose,d, Landlord's Warrants Executed . Also, Bailiff First Division Court for Huron. Qederiche.June 9th, 1869.• • 76. tf, ,. , • IN MEMORY OF D. SHIEL Not where the cannons roar Amid the battle strife, Where glory conctuors ghastly death, Did he resign his life. Yet Honor o'er his fall Has shed her brightest flame, And on the stone above his head • Is writ a hero's name. A slow, but sure disease Had fastened on his heart; • For years Death hovered o'er his head • And poised the fatal dart. Behind him, everywhere, • He heard it's ghastly tread, • And in the silent hours of night •. It watched beside his bed, In dreams he flaw his grave • With mourners standing round, And heard the clods above his head • Fall with a dreary somad. But still his dauntless soul Kept up a lofty cheer; Pale was he, but his eye proclaimed He was not 'pale with fear. With manly form erect He calmly faced his doom• ; Undaunted by the pangs of death Or horrors df the tomb. • And. as his end drew nigh He fondly thought of One -- A brother whom he longed to see Ere his hrief course was run. He reached that brother's home In Summer's parting glow, • And their renewed their vow of love ;— The vow ef long ago. And *hen the summons came— The dreadful hour of death, He met it with a hero's heart,-- • And Christian' fearless faith. • Thus died he in his prime: • Brief was his course, but bright; With life prolonged, 'ttvasi his to reach • The most exalted height. No dim or borrowed light . Was shed around his name • No legend. on his tomb intcribed, Give him 4era1dic fame. . • His ancestors were poor- - • And Of a lew estate'; But if 'tis noble to be good, • Then Were they truly great. To tend their fleecy flocks The Scottish hills they trod; Free as the mountain air they breathed They bowed to none but God. And History tells the tale That Virtue still admires, Hon? dauntlessiy they bore their rights Through perseputiOn's fires. • Such were his ancestors: • With this our task is done, His highest praise :--of worthy sires • II He wee a worthy son: mulmiumml-t'''' —ALONE WITH THE DEAD. Late one night ----�r, rather, early in the morn ing—between the hours of two and three, 'I was walking down a street in my native city, offering. as I went, an oblation to the incense god, which wreathed slowly onthe heavy night air, while not a footfall but my own echoed against the fronts that lined both sides of the long brbad street. A social carouse had, that night made the several hourslater than usual in returning tO tny lodgings, where -my brother and myself occupied the same rooms. 'We were students at the Medical Uni- ersity, always high in renown for its scientific advantages, and also possessing a questionable local repute on account of the facility with which its dissecting rooms were supplied with subjects frona the charnel house of the city. • Very unexpectedly I heard footsteps behind me. • .4 struck- me as singular, for in the still- ness of the night I had heard no sound but the echo of my own steps. The street extended for a quarter of a mile in my rear, and I had passed no cross -street. I glanced behind me'and. saw two men, apparently engaged in eartipst conversation, and proceeding in the same direction as myself. They were walking rapidly, and gained on me.; but, in the flickering gaslight, theie was nothing in their appearance toexcitesuspicion. I turned and kept carelessly on, although 1 could not keep from my thoughts the mystery of their sudden proximity. _ I concluded, however, that they must have emerged from some one of the dwell- • ings I had passed, and that obscured by the sladow of the doorway, I had not noticed them. Involuntarily I mused, between the puffs of my cigar, on the tales that had been poured in my • ears of the German highwaymen, in contradist- inction to the brutal English i garrotter. The German robber inserts his delicately gloved hand in your neck -cloth, and twists awayyour senses ata • jerk, while his pal gently lipids your arms behind you, else you might indulge in frantic and danger- ous gesticulation at the sudden flight of your watch.- Or he taps you on the shoulder, politely asks you for a light for his cigar, produces a scent- ed handkerchief, with apparently innocent intent, and holds it to your nose, you swoon beautifully for a second, and when you wake yournew ac- quaintance has obtained his light, and has gone— with yourmoney. This was ray train of thought when the two pedestrians were close upon me. • The pavement was amply broad, but in passing one of them jog- gled me a trifle, and the next instant turned and velurninously apoligized. "A thousand pardons, sir !—a thousand pard- ons !" As he was speaking he turned the front of his person towards me, and, as if accidently, thrust the whole of his body directly in front of me. At this instant my 'arms were seized from behind by the other, and held tightly. I can recall but • little of the events of the few_ seconds, so sudden was the affair. I only know I saw him take something from his pocket, apply it • to my face, a hot sulphurous steam was forced upon my nose, biting and stinging ; .then his hand was removed. I felt a sweet, balmy sensation stealing over me. I seemed floatimg in a glowing mist, while fleecy clouds took the form of seraphs, and ssiam before my vision. The startling peculiarity of the sen- sation was that I remained entirely unconscious, while my physical organization was incapable of motion or action. My brain felt and perceived with double kneeneeess and vigor, while my body was dead—every sense paraylized. I knew every' thing that transpired. The thieves robbed me, laid me gently on the pavement, drew my cloak carefully over my face, and walked leisurely away. And now my sensation seemed to deaden. My delightful dream seemed passing from me.— My brain grew duller, heavier; all objects turned black to my mental vision—and I was totally un- conscious. • Years seemed to have rolledaway when this • black cloud at last gradually rose from my brain. • Light and shadow began to stand forth to the vision of the mind. I was returning to consci- • iousness. And now came back the same sensati- ons Iliad experienced after inhaling the vapor at • the hand of the robber. My intellect was clear. I could diatin2uish objects. with the vividness of life. I could think, feel and reason ; but my body was dead --not numb, but dead—paralyzed • of the power of motion. . I was lying on a pallet on the floor of what ap- peared to be a large room or hall lighted by tall windows, through which the light of day was • streaming upon a scene that will haunt me to my latest moment. , Over the broad floor packed in rows, on pallets, and laid in white winding gar- ments, lay a number of dead bodies. There must have been at least a dozen. Besides the muffled outlines of their forms, their faces alone were vieible. A cold, icy chill seemed to strike Me, though my body stirred not. I was in the dead house. The recollection of my adventure leaped • ieto my brain. In a flash I saw the whole.— Consciousness had left me when lying upon the pavement. I had doubtless been picked up by the police, and as the -thieves had taken every- thing about my person but my clothes, there was no possibility of identification. So I had been robbed and packed away in the charnel house, So- intensely overpowered was I with the strange awfulness of my situation, and with the gliestliness'Of the scenes around me, that could I have moved, I should not for terror. • On my right, and lying within an arm's length, was the • body of a woman, plump and beautiful in feature, but whose wet, tangled hair, long and streaming from her head, and drippling and trickling, till the water had soaked into the under sheet of my pallet—told of a suicide or accidental "drowned in the river"—while the bitter sorrow of a life- time seemed in the icy lineaments—once beauti- ful. By her lay a, white-haired, aged, man, his • face sunken, wrinkled, and his eye fixed im the ghostly stare of death. Further on lay a yoaug man, in full prime, his pale, haggard features • bruised and covered with blackened spots in -which the blood had settled, telling the tale Of • murderous midnight affray. On my left was the corpse of eloper; the face bleared and fiery as in his death revel. By -his side lay the•wan, starved mother, her eyes open, glassy, staring- -folding in her stiff arnoteher lifeless offspringwhich, with closed lids and rounded marble flesh, seemed resting in motionless slumber. Belpre my face lay such figures as those; some were hideous, some fair, some stared wildly; other slept sweet- ly. Surely, a museum of the dead ! • All this ghastly realization flushed on my brain at once. But my old sensations continued. I seemed to view the scene from an elysian palace, and yet I had the feeling of horror without the sense. How long had I been there? I tried to shut out the horrid picture and reflect. But the same gout visages of the grave still glared upon me. Suddenly the double door of the place opened with a clang, and in walked the inspector of the dead -house; and, moving about among the corpses, he gave orders to four sturdy attendants that followed him concerning the removal of the bodies. I knew him, for I had met him on his • mysterious errands in the dissecting -room in the college adjoining the dead -house, and with which it was connected; I felt a thrill Of joy that • I was in the presence of the living. I knew, also that it was the morning following my adventure in the street: --perhaps eight hours later—for the • inspector was now going his usual rounds. -- Would this deadly paralysis ever leave my body ? The men where carrying out the bodies' hurtling them away/on biers. My fate was suspended by a hair. A motion, a groan might attract their at- tention. How I strained, and strove with in- sane energy of will to bring into action my dor- mant powers! The inspector came my way. I saw him glance at me, and give an order to a man close by. He was turtling away.. He spoke to an 'attendant, and then disappeared through the door he had entered at. Oh, for one moment's lease of voice, of sinew, and of muscle! How soon would I cross the narrow, covered walk be- tween where I lay and the yard of the medical buildings --rejoin my fellows, and swallow greedily some antidote for the deadly poison that had left me a soul.without a frame! One by one of the corpses disappeared through the doorway, borne by the same men whose office it was to fetch the morning Victims for the dis- secting room. Soon all were gonebut two—lying in the further corner of the a.ppartment—ghastly specimens. My turn came next. Was I, then after all. to follow the train of the city's outcasts, and be cast with a dozen ethers, living, into the overcrowded grave? The men approached me. They lifted me. I was laid on a bier. They raised me and I was carried, not after the others, • but tothe rear of the apartment. • Another door was throwil open, I entered a dark room, the at- mosphere damp and fceted. ,In an instant I knew the place ; for I had on a previous occasion been privileged with a peep at • the secret mysteries of the Medical University. Great heaven ! They were bringing me into the keeping room, where the "subjects" were left till sufficiently decayed for the purpose of dissecting, and whose doors: were opened to mortal tread only at intervals of days. - The men set down my bier, then brought in the two remaining bodies and left, double barring the inner door and banging the two outer ones be- hind them. I was alone. I know not how much longer I lay in this half - alive condition. It May have been only moments —it may have been hours. At length a change crept over me. My brain seemed to lose its vivid force. The dreamy sense passed away. I was conscious of slowly returning physical power. My sensations became more natural; and at length the breath seemed to swell in my chest, and started once more in my lungs. My breast heav- ed. A few more inspirations of sir, and the blood. startled and pulsed in my veins and heart, warm- ing and quickening my returning life aa it flowed. I never shall forget the peculiar, delightful • sen- sation imparted through my whole system by the awakening life -current as it now penetrated the re o est corner of my frame. It seemed as • though my ph.ysicial life had commenced at the very point where it had been arrested by the va- porous poison, and. I awoke with the same fresh- ness and vitality of eight hours previous. Prea- ently, a muscle relaxed involuntarily. In an- other moment my limbs acknowledged the su- premacy of will, and I sat up. The change in my • feelings seemed wonderful. Now I was a man. • The place now assumed its real character to my natural reason. It was a close, 'low room, with only a few rays of daylight streaming from a sash in the ceiling upon a row of biers in the centre of the floor. On one of these biers I was sitting. On my left, near the door where I had been brought in, lay the bodies—my recent conk- panions in the dead room, and that had been brought in with me. On the right was a long row, ghastly, horrid and offensive, of human forms and skeletions yet enclosed in flesh. To- wards the further end of the row, and near where the corpses first placed that had remained longest, and were many of them in that loathsome state of putrefaetiOn and decay rendered neceseary in order to secure the successful dissection for cer- tain purposes, the apartment was kept warmed in order to accelerate decomposition; and:a foul, sickening smell filled the air, while streaming odors evaporated from the bodies. For an instant my blood curdled in its new- found course, as I gazed distracted on the glaring horrors around me. With a cold shudder -1 mov- ed off the bier, and stood. upon the stone floor, • contrasting in its icy coolness with the waim vapors of the atmosphere.' I unwound the tight binding of my death robe, and hardly knowmg what I did, crawled to a remote corner, and striv- ing to shut out the fearful sight, croycked alone. Bat the horrid dead eyes would stare at me from out there sockets, though I covered my face with the winding sheet that still enwrapped my body —my only protection. A cold sweat streamed from every pore, and the heavy air etified my lungs, as I thought how long it might be ere the doors of this charnel den would again be opened. It seemed hardly an hour that I remainedthus, when I -noticed the light which stole through the window in the low roof grew gradually less and less, till all objects became dim to my vision.— Twilight was coming on. I knew I must spend that night in this place—and I knew not how many more. Sleep began to steal over my frame. for the experiences of the last few hours had made havoc with my powers of physical endur- ance. I knew it would be unwise td' remain longer on the cold, damp floor, for already chills began to alternate through my over heated body. But the thought of sleeping beside the dead ?— Necessity knows no delicacy—no law. 1 vise, overturned my bier upon the door, and gathering the sheet about me, stretched my limbs on its side, and was soonasleep. awoke not long aftewards. MY- slumber had been fitful, and crowded with horrid dreams and frightful spectres. The moon was shining dimly through the narrow sash in the ceiling, its rays adding yet more startling ghastliness to the scene it illuminated. Then I knew it was far into the night: The old German city slept. The citizens —the noble--royalty—all were quiet under the sole surveillance of the stars and the solitary nightwatchman. I slept again. In the ,horrid dream, I screamed outright, and threw any arins wildly about me, striking the edges of the nearest bier, upsetting it. Its occupant came tumbling sideways upon the floor, one stiff arm supporting the body in a half -sitting poeition, and the other falling with rigid palm on my breast, while the frightful, disorted countenance beamed directly • over my face within six inches—and its glassy eyeballs, gletiming with a phosphorescent light, glared into mine. Horror (en times more terrible froze ray blood, and it Was long before I could summon resolution to act. With a yell- of terror that echoed dead against the walls, I sprang up, pushing the body from me, fleeing, as it fell back • with a dull sound, to the corner, and laidmy face in my robe of death, shaking from head to foot. 1 need notrelate how mormug came again. Hpw, as the day advanced, hunger gnawed my vitals. How I raved, and yelled, and , fruitlessly tried to force the heavy doors of the place. How a little mouse nillbled near, and brought crumbs of cheese and sweetmeats through his hole, which 1_ pounc- ed upon, and 1,v -hen the tiny creature saw that its supper was gone, it ran back for more. • How another eight came. How I raved for thirst.— How moriling came again, daylight still lighting up the awful scene. How, at length; nature could do no more. I fainted and lay cold and still again. I woke gradually from the faint. My eyes were opened with a glassy death -stare, and I felt that I was being carried on a bier across the courtyard that separated the dead -house from the college. I tried to move but was not able, and I was wound tightly in a sheet. At,last I stopped. , A door opened and shut behind me. I was in the old dissecting room. - The two men set down my bier, disrobed me, and while I was yet conscious, and incapable of motion, threw me heavily at full length on the table, letting my head hang pain- fully- over the edge. My position was unfavorable to resuscitation; but I knew when, a moment after, the medical professors entered, followed by noisy young stud- ents, my brother among them. One of the pro- fessors, whom I recognized, approached the table, while the students took their seats to witness the performance. The professor, I know, had a 'pecular dislike to look upon the features of a corpse till after the first thurst of the knife. He was already whetting his instrument. What if, 'after all, I had been snatched from a living death to be butchered alive' He turned towards me. With a fearful effort, I managed to raise my head from its unnatural position. He sprang back in fright. The attention of the students -wag at- tracted to the spot, many of whom recognized my. countenances at once. Reader, imagine'if you can, a meeting under circumstances like these between two brothers, or my tellow students' horror, and you will picture better than I can the curious scene. wee - A darkey wae observed in one of the streets of Louisville, his teeth chattering like a reaper under full'headwey. He was eating a waterznelon on the curb -stone, and some one told him that it would give him the chills. He looked up, with his mouth half full and a slice in each hand, and. shivered; "I'se got em now, and 1 tuk 'em dose tings. Dar a'n't no danger ob makin' me shake wuten I duz. Hoersumeber, I'll eat dis'n if I dies 'fore I gets to de rines !" A Smart thing—Mustard -plaster. A color difficult to see—Blind-man's buff. " Moonlight mechanics " is the name given to a gang of Burglars by an Eastern contempor- ary. A Connecticut manufacturer of coffin trm' 1- mings complains of dullness in business. Be ought to be protected. • .Down with quarantines. "Silence in the court -room," thundered a police magistrate, the other morning ; "the Court has already committed four prisoners without be- ing able to hear a word of the testimony." A Detroit paper states, for the gratification of young New York heiresses, that their is a live Count in that city, and that he is likely to remain two years. His name is Count I3ehiendas, and he is in prison for burglary. A friend of the Hamilton Time the other day propounded the following :—What name would be more appropriate for the first station on the G. W. Railway north east of Hamilton ? We gave it up, and he said "Liquor -up" ehowing that he does not appreciate Water -down. Crebillion, a French dramatist, annoyed to see his son adopt a literary career, ex -claimed to him petulantly, 'Two things I sorely -regret— that I have written my Last tragedy and begot- . ton you." "Don't feel any uneasiness at that sore, replied the dutiful young man; "for it is currently reported that you are the author of neither the one or the other." A crack -brained fello-w, who was slighted by the females, very modestly asked a young lady.: 'Miss , will you let ine spend the even - with you ?" "No, indeed !" she angerly re- • plied : " that I will not." " Why, "replied he, "you needn't be so fussy : I don't mean this t evening, but some stormy evening when 1 can- -not go anywhere else." Some days ago a pretty little juvenile friend, some five years of age, nettled Rosa, was teased a good deal by a gentleman who visits the family. He finallywound up by saying, "Rosa I don't , love you, . "Ale but you have got to love me," said the child "How so ?" asked the tormenter. "Why, " Rosa answered, ", the Bible says you must love them that hate you, and I am sure I hate you." Many men never fairly graduate in rascality - until they cove r it all over with a cloak of piety. The world has been educated by sore experience to this knowledge. "Wasn't your master cheat- ed in that horse trade yesterday ?" "No salet gess not, sale" "Mighty sharp chap he was trading with !" "Yes, sah ; mighty sharp, but massa saw that he was pious, and clat put mass* on his guard. Gess he wasn't cheated, sale" • "What have you got that's good?' said a hungry traveller, as he .seatecthimself at a din- ner table in Salt Lake City. "Oh, we've got roast -beef corn -beef. roast mutton, boiled, fried, ham and broiled curlew:" "What .is -curlew?" said the stranger, " Curlew 1 why curlew is a bird' something like a snipe." "Could it fly ?" "Yes. r Did it have wings""Yes." "Then I - don't want any curlew. Anything that had , wings and could fly, and didn't leave this d—d. country, I don't want for dinner!' • The congregation of a well known church in . the South of - Scotland has recently had under ' discussion the question of the proper attitude f in prayer. James L , rather a character r in the town, being asked by a lady of the cone .1 gregation if he wantedtoconform to the recom- mendation, of the minister that all should kneel; replied very emphatically, "Deal a bit will I st kneel. The Bible says 'Watch and pray' an' hoo can onybody watch on their knees wi' their e'en steek it' Na, na, Pll just stand an' glower a.boot me as I hae aye dune." Mr. 131ane, a millionaire, who came Within an ace of being elected deputy, was returning from Burgundy by a night train. A lady, young and pretty, occupind the same compartment NOW Mr. Blane, who -in spite of his naturally small feet, tries to 'Lae them smaller still, was suffer- ing terribly from tight boots. All at once he noticed that the lady was asleep, and he could just as well take off his boots, which he did. Suddenly the station light began to appear in - sight. One boot is quickly put on, but the other alas! does not go on so ,easily. He pulls and pushes, finally the foot goes in, but is terribly pinched. Once at the station Mr. Blane hide!' himself M a cab, and thinks Ids troubles at an end. When he reaches the house, imagine his surprise at finding his right foot in a lady's boot The lady had been in a similar situation with -himself. Madame Blane refuses to believe a word of his story, she cries, goes into hysterics, and finally returns to her father, refusing to bold any communication with her unfortunate husband.. But think of the reception accorded to the lady of the train when her husband saw her predica- ment ! Near Erie, Pensvlvania, there lives a coloret person by the name of James Stewart, whom the community, by common consent, have dub -bed. "Commodore Stewart". He is a talented but eccentric individual, and has a . weakness for chickens. On one occasion, being found near a poultry yard, under rather suspicious circum- stances, he- was interrogated rather sharply by the owner of the place as follows : "Well, Jim1. what are you doing here ?" "Oh nuffin, nuffin ; . jess welkin' route," 'What do you want with my 'chickens ?" "Nuffin at all. I Was only lookin' at 'em, dey looks so nice." The answer was both conciliatory and conclusive, and would have beeai satisfactory had it not been for Jim's 'hat. This was rather worn soft felt, a good deal • too large for its wearer's head, and it seemed to have a motion entirely unusual in hats, and mani- festly due to some remarkable cause. It seemed_ to contract and expand and move of itself), and clearly without Jim's Volition. So the next in- quiry was: "What is the matter with your hat?' "My hat, dat's an ole hat, No fond of that hat." "Well, take it off and let s look at it." Take of dis hat' No sah, I'd ketch cold in my head, mar- tin. Allus keep my hat on when I'm out o' doors." And with that -Jim was about beating& ' hasty retreat, when, at his first step a " kluk, kluk, kluk" was heard coming only too clearly from the region of his head gear. This was fata4 and Jim was stopped and forced to remove his , hat, when a plump, half-grown chicken jtiMped out and ran hastily away. The air with which the culprit gazed after it was a study for a paints' er; it.expre.ssed to perfection wonder and pettea plexity blended, but not a trace of guilt. Slow- ly he spoke, as though explaning the matter to himself and accounting for so remarkable an inj ciudipddednI3etele."gW\ovefilinh,yyifdapdaatntlardi no' Oct Id ec. fnnounLesast ,titingavel ecituimbber