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The Huron Expositor, 1870-03-04, Page 1h 25 1870 CANTON TRE OFFIC 4 CE FOR TEAS. ssubseriber makes this article Iead all intending purchase Earket affords, to, at /east try est IA (mon ! has. of Staple and Fancy s always on hand. - JAM ES -C. LAIDLAWs 21st, 18,7tt T _ AN 'EVER B E prepa-red to furnish Houses at s, attetided to in a satistacta er. A lAarse for hire. MAS BELL'S s4F-a MATTRASS land and fitted to any bed- Lele the best -aud cheapest t to by all who have used it. satisfaction. Ee place 0 S tr _WM LT LKINS. :Lst 1870. 87-tf. have on haaid at their Mille, rth flops :the Village of Ain - feet of Good DRY PINE felloning different kinds; viz half, and two inch, clear. A ,(tito- inch and a quarter, and ring, both dres.sed and -under- . . . sadeng, common boards and a feet long. Beard and strip deft will .be Bold at rediseed - added a first-class plannin tner machinery, and: inten nber of all kinds constantly afly upon being able toprocure artieles of Lumber at their is here adve-tised. Umber to the mill can have it test notice and lowest possible M. & T. SMITH. 1S70. 114stf Lot or Sale RENT. MONDVILLE. has far sate or to rent; on s, a good Frame House, with pump and good yard in con - were lately occupied by y ter JGEIN F. WEILAND, Hotel Keeper, Egmandville., 1, 1870, 114-4ins. ITN SHOP. :S-7WATSON. public generally that he still rai Blacksmithing at his Old Stand, TE ARMSTRONG'S HOTEL. ILEYVILLE. ion paid to Horse-Shocing. y. 218t, 1870. 62-1y. BUILD)ERS. as at his Kiln, Con. 5, Lot 4, a S., a large quantity of firet- tie offers cheap for Cash, JAMES PICKARD. 1870. 114-6ines A LODGEI •Q-17.0 t Regular Comraunicatiore oat vening Feb, 21st. R. COUNTER, Secretary. y -to Lend. ad on Farris Lands at 8 per P. F. WALKER, Solicitor, Goderieh; I870. WM. F. LUXTON, " Freedom in Trade—Liberty in Religion ---Equality in Civil Rights". EDITOR & PUBLISHER. VOL. 3, NO. 13, SEAFORTHI FRIDAY, MARCH 4, 1870. WHOLE NO., 117. BUSINESS CARDS MEDICAL. TRACT, M. D., Coroner for the County of . Huron. Office and Residence -01 e door East of the Methodist Episcopal Church. Sea.fortheDec. 14th, 1868 53- ly 1 _ 11L. VERCOE,; M. D. C. 'M. , Physician, Sur - geon, etc., 10ffice and Residence, „.corner of M•arket and. High Street, immediately in rear of Kidd & McMulkin's Stere. . Seaforth, Feb: 4th. 1870. ' 53-1y. TIR. W. R. SMITH, Physician, Surgeon, etc. Office,—Opposite Veal's Grocery. Resi- dence—Main-street, North. Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1863. 53- ly T ,CAMPBELL, M. D. C. M., (Graduat of Me- e) „ Gill University, Montreal) Physician, Sur- geon, etc., Seaforth Office and Residence—Old Post Office Building, up stairs, where he jwill be found by night or day when at home. . Seaforth, July 15th 1869. ..84-1y LEGAL. C. CAMERON, Barrister and.Att Law, Goderich. Ont. December 14th, 1869. iney-at • 53-tf- TTAYS & ELWOOD, Barristers a.nd A torneys _El at Law, Solicitors in Chancery, *Aeries Public Conveyancers, _etc. Office. —Oyer Mr. Archibald's Store, Crabb's Block, Goderich, Ont. Money to Lend. W. TORRANCE BAYS, J. Y. ELWOOD. Seaforth, Dec, 14th, 1868 53-1y. BENSON & MEYER, Barristers and Attorney at Law, Solicitors in. Chalicery ancli insolv- ency, Conveyancers, Notaries Public, etc. •Of- fices —Seaforth and Wroxeter. Agents; for the Trust and Loan Co. of Upper Canada, and the Colonial Securities Co. of Loriden. ngland. Money at 8u per cent, no commlseion, ch rued. JAS. IL BENSON, IL W. C. /i EyER. Seaforth, Dec:" 10th 1868. 53-1y NT 7C ATIG- HEY & HOLMSTE B rristers, _VI- Attorneys at Law, Solicitors in hancery and insolvency, Notaries Public and Co veyanc- ers. Solicitors for the R. C. Bank, ,.:eaforth, Agents for the Canada Life Assurance 11 CO. N. B. —$30,000 tolend at 8 per cent. Farms, Houses and Lots for sale. Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868. 53-g. WALKER. Attorney -at -Law nci. iSo- "- licitor in -Chancery, F Conveyancer, Notary Public, •&c. Office of the Clerk of the Peace, Court House, Goderich, Ont. N.B.—Money to lend at 8 per cent tn Farm L&nds. (launch, Jan'y. 28. 1870.I12 ly DENTAL. G. W. HARMS, L. D. . Arti- ficial Dentures inserted wi h all the latest improvements. The greatest care taken fur tne preservation of. dec Yedand tender teeth. Teeth extracted: with t pain. Rooms over Collier's Store. - Seaforth. Dec. 14, 1898. 1 y. HOTELS. S.HARP'S HOTEL, LiVery 4table, andi Genera - Stage Office, Main -street. R .LSilattr, Prop. Seaforth, Jan. 8th, 1869. ' 53:tf. CIOMMER0 1H AL OTEL, Ainleyville* James J Laird, proprietor, affords first-daasaccom- modation for the travelling pubiiis • ,The larder and bar are always supplied with the best the markets afford. Excellent stabbing in connection A inleyville, April 23, 1869. • k 0: 0. R. ROSS, Proprietor New Dominion Hotel, „ begs to inform the people of Seaforth and the travelling comiaunity generally, that he keep first -Glass accommodation in every thing required by travellers.- A good stable and swilling hostler always on hand, Regular Boarders will receive every necessary .attention. Seaforth, Feb. 8th, 1869. ARCHITECTS. I MAILL & CROOKE, AtchiteCts, et . Plans 0 and Specifications drawn correctly, Carpen- ter's, Plasterer's. and Mason's work, 'measured and valued. Office—Over j. C. Detlor, & Co.'s store, Court-Ilouse,SqUare, Goderich. Goderich, April 23, 1869. 79-1y. TENRY.WATKINSON, Architect 4ncl Build- er. Plans, Specifications an4 Details drawn correctly. EV ery description of Building Works measured and veined. Bills of quantities pre- pared. OF-FTC-E.—Next door North of Mr. Hiek- son's old. store, Seaforth. Seaforth, June 9th, 1869. 79-tf SURVEYORS. G& McPHILLIPS, Provincial Land Sur- . veyors, Civil Enbineers, etc. All mauner of Conveyancing done with neatness and dispatch. -41. McPhillips, Commissioner in B. R.,. Office— Next door south of Sharp's Hotel, Seafortly.. Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1868. 53-ly AUCTIONEER J3_ ILAZLEITURST, Licensed Auctioneer fo • the County of Huron. Goderich, Ont rarticular attention paid to the sale of Bankrupt Stock. Farm Stock Sales attended on Liberal Terms. Goods Appraised, Mortgages Foreclosed, Landlord's Warrants Executed Also, Bailiff First Division Court for Huron. Goderich, June 9th 1869. 76. tf, 'FISHERMAN'S SONG "The air is still the night is dark No ripple breaks the dusky tide, From isle to isle the fishr's bark; - Like fairy meteor seems to glide— Now lost in shade—now flashing bright, On sleeping wave and forest tree, We hail with joy the ruddy light, 'Which far into the darksonae night f Shines red and cheerily. . With spear high poised and steady hand, The centre of that fiery ray, Behold the skilful fisher stand, Prepared to strike the finny prey— ow, now !' the shaft has sped below, ransfixed the shining prize we see, On swiftly glides the birch canoe— The woods send back the long halloo In echoes loud and cheerily.. Around yon bluff whose pine crest hides • The noisy rapids from oar sight, Another bark—another glides- -Red spirits of the murky night— The bosom of the silent stream With mimic stars is dotted free, The tall woods lighten in the beam, • Through the darknegs shining cheerily." TH, LEGEND OF THE RHINE. It was years and years ago, and in Germany, where, especiallY at that day, a mighty line was drawn between the rich and poor, that in a cer- tain village beside the Rhine lived two who made the old story true for themselves, and almost be- lieved, as lovers will, that they were the first who. had. ever loved each other—Gretchen and Carl, both peasants' children, and both as poor, in everything but youth, and health, and beauty, as any twain could be. But, for all this, they would willingly have united their fortunes, or their lack of fortunes, but for the wise old folks, who knew so much more about the world than young ones can'and quite forget how much better a lenteen feast, -with love at the board, is to youth, than all the dainty viand o that can be spent on silver, and set forth on damask, if the little god is away. The old folks set themselves • to oppose the match stoutly, oii. the ground that Carl would never earn the salt to his porrage, and that Gretchen, being very pretty, might make a better Match. Indeed, the Baron, whose castle stood not far off, and. who was not so old as he might have been only too glad to stoop as low as the peas- ant's cottage and lead from thence the pretty Gretchen as ilis bride. But the giri found no charm in his title, or his wealth, or his person, to lead her to forget Carl ; and when he left her to seek his fourtune, that he might share it, when found, with her, she gave him a locir of her golden hair, and promised that she never; would forget him, and plighted her troth to hinthere beside the blue Rhine, for ever and ever aye. - .Gretchen sang and danced no more. She changed sadly in face and heart; but the Baron Claussen only thought her more lovely, and more like a lady, with her pale cheeks and downcast eyes, and haunted- the cottage as much as ever,' under pretence - of patronishing the old grand- father. • As for Carl, where was he? Ever so far away by this time, foot -sore and sad, but making sure of a fortune ahead of him, in meeting with a good natured boatman, who took him on board,. and bade him to be, at ease until he reached the end of his journey. So Carl lounged upon the deck of the little draft with its load of cheese, and look- ing over in the water, thought of Gretchen, never guessing that his sighs had brought to the sur- face -a beautiful mermaid, who- no sooner set eyes upon Carl than she felt madly in love with hem, and began forthwith to sing and play upon her lyre, and comb her sea -green hair, and use all her mermaid arts to lure the beautiful peasant to her home in the caves of • ocean.. She floated with him to the mouth of the Hague, where, finding • no avenue to fortune in any other direction, poor Carl shipped on board a vessel bound for a two years' voyage, and paid a man who was - about to travel down into }fosse Darmstadt to take the news to his sweetheart. . • "And tell her," said Carl, " that I shall think of her by dey and by night, and shall return to claim her for my own when the voyage is over. And if her love is as strong is mine, she will wait forme."- The man promised, and the. mermaid rejoiced, for Carl was to be within her hach for two long • long years in her ewri realm—the briny ocean.— But this was not enough for her, for she was e very wily mermaid. One moonlight night she saw the messenger walking on the shore, and call - self and the mermaid, who, in very excellent spirits, was following over the sea the vessel on - which Carl sailed, thinking of nothing but home and Gretchen. ' • The news nearly killed the poor girl, since she • never doubted it for a moment: and though, had she known Carl to be living, she would have thought of him only, and waiting for him though he had returned poorer than, when he parted from her, the veil of death separated him from her se completely, and there was such a blank wherever • she turned her yearning eyes, that in . h3 end she did not feel so angry with the Baron Claussen. for bringing her fruits and flowers, or for looking at. her tenderly, and holding her hand fondly. And at last—for we -must tell the truth, however troller disadvantage—she married the .Baron, and went, with a, crown of white flowers on her head 'aid • white gloves -on her hands, and wearing a dress of fine bleached Lauslin, up to his cae`tle, his bride, and not unhappy; though but for the urging of the old folks she never would have seemed to forget poor Carl so soon. It was a grand wedding, and the bride was beautiful, and the Baron was very kind to her : and instead of toiling in the fields, Gretchen sat iii her handsome house to be waitecl on by her M'aidens, and wore silk in place of coarse stuff, and golden rings upon the fingers whence she had slipped poor Carl's gift, the little silver circle. which was all that he couldto give her in token of her troth plight.. And in a year a little baby lay within her arms, and looked inta her eyes* and taught her to love its father, who had been BO tender and sokind to her; and she was the Baroness Claussen, and a Wife and a mother, and net the peasant girl • Gretchen, grieving for her lover any more. And just at this time, Carl Steyer, with his two years' pay in his wallet, and ssome hard-won possessions besides, stepped from the ship's deck upon dr,, land, and hurried as best he might to- wards Hesse Darmstadt, to find Gretchen. That she Might be dead, was a fear that crossed his mind ; but that she might be married, never once occurred fo him. He had sent her information of his intentions ; he had told, drenched by rain, beaten by wind, pelted by hail, in danger of ship - Wreck, and assailed by the fever -laden breezes of southern lands, to win little 'pittance which seem- ed so great a sum to him. • He had done it for the sake of her love, and she could not be cruel or false to one so constant. He boatedit and footed it homeward, in an ecstasy of yearning love ; and the poor mermaid, who. had fallowed - it back again, made her way along the Rhine, sobbing and sighing,.for her sailor had left the sea, and was going back to his lady -love and She Was about to lose him. _ The Baron's castle hung over the Rhine, and the nursery wherein the Baroness watched over her baby -boy looked out upon the water. It was under this window that the mermaid stopped, 'bemoaning herself, her flossy hair all tangled, her eyelids heavy, her lute unstrung, and her looking glass lost. And Carl hurried do to the cottage "in were Gretchen's grandmother d elt, and rushed in, and cried, for he was so bro n and so long - bearded that they did not knew him, "1 am Carl Steyer, come back to marry my dear Gretchen Warner! Tell me where to find her?" But the old grandame answered, "You can't be Carl, for he is drowned, and has had masses said for him ; but even if you were, you have no business to call the Baroness Von Claussen your Gretchen. It is a piece of impertinence not to be pardoned, should the Baron .hear you." " The Baroness !" faltered Carl. "How ?— the Baroness ?" . " Ay," said the old grandame. 'She married the Baron Von Clanssen generations ago, and has had a fme young Baron as any one ever set eyes on. Would you -have had her wait for a ship -boy to come back, and make her a beggar? even if you are not a ghoit, which I doubtgreatly." "Where is she ?" gasped Car . "Let me see her. I'll believe:no one but her." • • ' She is where she ought to be—at the Castle," said the old woman. "But you'd be mad to go there." Perhaps Carl was mad, for he went. . He put aside porter, and maid, and page, and made his way to the room where Gretchen sat singing to her babe; and she, seeing him, forgot everything else and rushed to meet him , and he took her in his arms, and they wept together. But soon he put her off, and asked her sternly how it was that she had deceived him. "1 came back to win my bride," he said. — "Oh, -Gretchen! could you not keep faith with me for two little years?' .- . "I thought you dead," she said ; then sudden- ly a great horror came upon her. "Why did you come ?" she eried. I am a wife. I had learnt to love my husband—my child's father. Now there will be only you again. Oh, cruel to come— cruel !" And aniidst these words, though even .while she spoke them, she clung to Carl's shoulder.• -, They heard a clatter' of . horse's hoofs, and a voice below bidding the servants say if it were true that Carl Steyer really were closeted with their mistress --the Baron's voice, and raised in agony tones. ' "See ?" cried Gretchen,- -"see how cruel you are ! He is jealous—he .will hate inc.? I must not love you, for I am a wife ; I cannot love him for he keeps me from you. Even my babe will scorn,,me when they tell him my story. Oh, cruel to come backatncl seek me, and bring such shame and sorrow !" ' "Cruel !" cried Carl. "Ah, she calls me cruel! But see, Gretchen. lam kinder than you have been to me. The B,gon shall not find me here.— Tell him Carl StOr's ghost came to you. . You will speak thelruth, for I shall be dead when you utter the words. Adieu. Forget me, since thaewill make you happy. Adieu." And as he spoke, he pushed the lattice open, and jumped from the window into the foaming waters of the Rhine. The jealous Baron rushed in the moment after, with his sword drawn, but found his wife alone beside her baby's cradle—alone, muttering and moaning of the sea and of Carl Steyers, as she muttered and moaned through all her weary life7- a mad woman from that hour, despite all that could be done by cunning leeches, bribed heavily to do their best with the -Baron's yellow gold. But as for Carl Steyer, he did not drown. The mermaid caught him in her arms as he sank be- neath the waters, and bore him away to her caves of coral andpearl, where with her songs and her embraces, she taught hini to forget inconstant Gretchen, the toils of the sea, the pleasures of the land, his own soul, and everything but her. So now, though the castle of the Baron Von Claussen is a rum, and all the 13arons of that name dead long ago, the peasants often see a fair He.was an ugly looking fellow, in a rough fur cap, and- With a red nose with carbuncles upon it, with whom mermaids were not apt to fall in love; so he had never seen once. And when he saw her with her pearly skin, and sapphire eyes, and floating hair, her hands lying upon the golden strinas of her lyre, all ringed with pals, and pearl's dripping from the lobes of her pure ears and. Wound about her neck, and saw her smile, • end felt her breathe, and heard her voice, he grew bewildered. First, she made love to hi; then she bade him do something to prove that he cared for her. It was such a little thing; only to go on beard the vessel and take Carl unawares, and push him over. After that, he would find her waiting for him by the mouth of the Rhine ready to bear him to her coral caves. • She had not the slightest intention of keeping her vow, but the man with the fur cap and the carbuncles on his nose beloved her, arid actually went on board the vessel, and giving a form lean- ing over the bulworks a push that sent it down into the water; but in his excitement he made a mistake, and only. drowned a young sailor from Hanover, instead of tossing Carl' into the mer- maid's arms. Theneterrified by the cry the man gave he fled, on his way to Hesse Dermstadt, where he had business. Then, being a good Catholic, he bethdught him —for he had no idea of his mistake—that the drowned Carl would have no taa.sses said for him unless his kindred knew of his demise, and so went down to the cottage, where Gretchen sat spinning and sighing and thinking of poor Carl Steyer. Then there was a little cry and the - wheel stopped. "1 bring news of him," said the man, hicling his eyes yet more, "bad news. I knew him in Holland. He had shipped for a two years' voy- age, but before the vessel started he was drown- ed. I saw him fall overboard. God rest his soul and comfort all here." Then he went his way, inwardly cursing-- him- ,- the sea can be, who bears in her white arm the most beautiful of mankind, lulled into a mystic sleep by the 'magic oflier song. And now comes to taint and triumph. over the sad phantom of Gretchen, Baroness Von Claussen. Death In. the Wilderness. A'GlikASTLy TALE. The following narrative of shocking,. suffering and death is reported from Bangor, to the Boston Post from one of the survivors of a hunting and fishing party, consisting of five indviduals (French Canadians, ) who .were strickem down by. disease, and perished in their camp on the Canada side not many milesirom the American border. The narrator states that a party of five persons, of which he was one, set out with two horses and - a pang, about Christmas; upon a hunting and fu3hing expedition, in the wilderness. near the American line. The party were well equipped with guns, traps fishing tackle and provisions, intending to speak a- month or two in. that un - habitable region.. The first two weeks. they had good luck and some.fine sport, captuving several otters, mink, sable, &c., and making a good catch of trout -in the lake. Returning one even- ing, one of the men complained. of sore throat. Not much was thought of it by the rest of the party, till towards the middle of thenight, when the man gave evidence of extreme suffering, his throat being so,swollen that he could not swallow. He Continued to.grow worse during the night, and when morning, carne was quite insensible. He had been attacked by that rarest loathsome and fatal disease,. cliptheria, which is alike ,mali- gnant and terrible in the city and in the forest. Without medicine of any description, and nearly fifty miles from any human habitation, they could but anxiously await the erisis. They had not long to wait; for before night set in. the man was a corpse. Before the first victim expired, how- ever, another of the party began to complain of the same difficulty, and on the second day died of strangulation ; or from the filling of the throat. The three survivors took the two bodies out of the camp and covered them over with snow, for , the purpose of preserving them till they could • carry them out of the forest. They cleternun. to break up camp the next day and return -with their dead comrades, but were doomed to die- -appointment, in consequence of two of the re- maining three being . prostrated by the same terrible agent. The last two survived about forty-eight hours, when they, in turn, were carried out by the. only one remaining, to be buried in the snow. Alone in the wilderness, fifty miles' from any human being, excepting the grim cold bodies of his lifeless companions, the sole survivor resolved to start early in the morn- ing for the abode of civilization, with his freight of pulseless humanity. But griefs never eome singly. During the night the deadly contagion fastened upon himself: In his own words he "felt the monster at his throat," and resigned himself, as well as he could. to his fate. The poor fellow suffered the agony of a hundred deaths, alone and =cared for, in a literally "howling wilderness," -with the prospect. of no one ever being able to tell the horrid tale. He lay, as he thinks, some four OT five days before he awoke to a consciousness of his fearful condition. The mildness of the weather and a good supply of blankets and boughs saved him from freezing in the abscence of a fire, which he was to weak to 'kindle. As soon as he could crawl, he went to the hovel, and to his amazement and grief found both of the horses dead. They had died of starva- tion. Returning to his damp, he thought he would take a look at his dead companions. Judge of his horror, when he found _their bodies nearly eatenenp by the wolves mid other wild beasts that inhabit that wild and desolate region. Nothing now was left for him to do but -to make his way, alone, out of the forest, With a pair of snow shoeslupon hiSfeet, and as much provisions as his weak a.nd feeble frame could carry, he started forth; and on the third day reached an Indian camp where herested w till he as able to proceed on his journey. He gave his name as Le Roix or Le Broiq, and stated that he was born near Riviere du Loup. Another Steamship Disaster. Cario, Feb. 22.—The following are the par- ticulars of the disaster to the steamer Emma No. 3 :-- She struck a snag in a chute near Island No. 35, on Saturday -about 10 a.m., and while sink- ing, slowly careened and upset the stove, setting fire te the cabin and driving every person into the water except Capt. James Marratta, -who Nivea saved by clinging to the wheel, and the mate, Caleb Marratta, pilot Attenborough: three pass- engers, the Chambermaid and head cook, who managed to remain on a small strip of forecastle, sheltered behind some casks, which they prevent- ed from burning by throwing water upon them with their hats. The officers launched the yawl, and. Succeeded in keeping back the affrighted passengers until the ladies on board, five in num- ber, were in it, and as many passengers as was considered safe. Before the yawl could be clea- ed filen the steamer the flames burst out with such fury that others could not be restrained, and they jumped in, swamping the yawl and turning it bottorn upward, by which all the ladies were lost and some twenty others. The survivors, ex- cept. those saved on the bow and on the wheel, managed to reach the shore on doors, planks and cotton bales, and were picked up by people along the river and by the'eteamer Columbian, which brought a number to this city. Other survivors were taken to farm houses in the neighborhood, and havenot yet arrived. Head engineer Lyen- berger died from exhaustion after reaching the shore; also a passenger named McFarland. Steward James Ford is not expeeted to live from the same Cause. Walter Marratta, first clerk, in disregard. of danger to himself, niade an attempt to save a lady passenger, and- perished with the others. It is hoped that the next arrival from the scene of the disaster will give names of saved among those now reported missing. LATER PARTICULARS: Cincinnati, O., Feb. 23.—The captain of the Emma No. 3 telegraphs from Cario that 70 lives were lost by the burning of the steamer St Louis. -Nagoop- What is the difference between a man walking up steps and one looking up? One steps up stairs and the other stares up steps. A man in Cliilicothe, Ohio, has succeeded in weeping phantom at its empty windows, and see t making a. whisge of a pig's tail. He has named in the stream below, another, fair as a Maiden of the instrument the pigolette. - -VARIETIES. If von were to ride upon a donkey what fruit ld wouyowre-semble ? A pear (pair). An Indianapolis paper tells of a mais who. "re:- proved his wife with an axe handle." "People," says a modern. philosopher, "go ae- cordingto their brains : If these he in their head_ they study, if in their stomach they eat, if in their heels they dance." "Susan 1 wish you would step over and see - how old Ars. Jones is this morning." Susan re- turned in a few minutes with the information that Mrs. Jones was seventy-two years old. JebiLonely, evidentlyhenpeeked, says:—"If in our school days the 'rule of three' is proverbially trying, how much harder, in after Iife, do we feel the rule of one ?" A man attempted to- spell crockery, the other day, and proceeded tins-1'Kraughltearreighe. but expired in a spasm befere could make a yi. with which he expected to end the word. Mike, speaking of w celebrated. musician, said —lie has led a very ahandoned life." "Oh yes," replied another, ‘• the whole tenor of his life has been base." lawyer who had a most absurd, case sub- mitted to him, on being asked if the action would he answered—"Yes, if the witness will lie too, but not othervvise." it man with an inveterate habit of talking to himself, wheal asked why, he said he had two reasons: one, "he liked to talk to a sensible nian ; the other, he liked to hear a sensible man talk." Let all young people forbear the use of much wine or strong drinks,well as spiced and hot - meals. They introduce a preternatural heat into the body, and at last hinder and extinguish the natural. A boy, three years of age, was .particularly backward in his tongue, and his parents feared he would never talk'. ''Send him to a girl's school," said a friend. The hint • was adopted and, suc- ceeded beyond expectation. Found.—The hinges of a Christmas box ; padlock beloiaging to a cha.in of circumstaneels ; a skeleton key conjectured to appertain to a dead- lock; the socket of a thunderbolt. If the above are not claimed within a few days they will be sold. for old iron.' A Missourian tried to trick an insurance com- pany by drowning himself immediately after taking out a policy. By dying he escaped a great disappointment, for while his application for in- surance went by mail, the news of his death iwas , sent by telegraph, and the policy was not issued. In reply to the objections l of the comas& for the defence,. a Virginia Justke said he didn't 'care about "consecutions, and*ould. try de case flay - how, and if deaf didn't have satisfattiost, " dey could repeal agm his excision." They have a new fancy drink in. New York called the "glycerine cocktail," which is handy to haveliisicle when chased by a policeman. The modus is d.escribed as necessitating the pursued. to throw himself concu.ssively on the ground in front of the policeman when the glyceriase ex- plodes and blows the eificer into smithereens. An artist painted a dog so natural that the ani- mal had the hydraphobia during the hetweather. He's the same man who painted a beer bottle with such skill that the cork flew out just as he was finishing it. And after he was manied. he paint- ed a picture of his first baby so life like that it . cried; his wife spanked him before she discoveras the mistake. Mr, Josh Billings on. the mosquito.—There is one peculiarity abcrut the „mosquito trade, and that is, the supply always exceeds the demand, and yet the production is not diminished. I can't understand this nohow. Mosquitoes have consum- mate courage. I have known a single mosquito to fight a man and his wife al/ night and -draw the first blood. They are Cheerful little fellows, singing as ishey toil. An Indiania girl, who had been loving a fellow to an alarming extent, and feared that her mother woUld find out what was the anitter,.rode twenty miles with a revolver in her hand, to where the chap was chopping in the woods, and told him if he didn't -marry her she would make a tumid through him. The -w-edding carne off that after- noon.' He said. he never would quarrel with a . woman about a little thing like that. To apme pungent remarks of a professional brother, an American barristar commenced his reply as follows "May it please the court, rest- ing on the couch oi republican equality as I do— covered, by the blanket of constitutional panoply as I am—and protected by the aegis of Arriesican liberty, as I feel myself to be—I despise the buz- zing of the professional insect who has just eat down, and defy his futile attempt to penetrate, with his puny sting, the interstices of my imper- vious covering." Here is Mark Twain's latest account of himself: . I have but little character, but what I have I am willing to part with for the public good. I would . have been a better man if I had had a -chance, but things have been against me. I never . had any parents, hardly—only just a father and mother—and so I have had to struggle along the best way I could. I do not boast of this charact- er, further than I built it up myself, at odd hours, and without other educational aid than I was able to pick up in the ordinary schools and colleges," Mr. Abernethy rarely met his match, but on one occassion he fairly owned he had. He was sent for by an innkeeper who hail had a quarrel with his wife, who had. scarred his face with her nails, so that the poor man was bleeding and much disfigiired. Abernethy thought ibis an oppor- tunity not to be lost for admonishing the offender., and said, "Madam," are you not aahamed of your- self to treat your husband. thus—the husband 'who is the head of all—your head, mad -am, in fact ?" "Well, doctor," fiercely returned the viago, .'"and may I not scratch my own head?" If. anything in the world will make a mail feel badly, except pinchinghis fingers in the creek of a door, it is unquestionably a quarrel. It degrades. *him in the eyes of others, and, what is worse, blunts his sensibilities on the one hand, and in- creases the power of passionate irritability on the other. The truth is, the MOT() peacebly and quiet- ly we get on, the better for our neighbors. 'Ia nine cases out of ten the ccurseis—if a man cheat you, cease to deal with him; if lie slanders, you, take care to live so that nobody will believehimi No matter whohe is or how he misuses you, the beet way is to let him alone, for there is nothing better .than this cool cabn and. quietway of dealing:With tha wrongs we -meet with: . ° t S.*:?)