Loading...
The Huron Expositor, 1870-02-04, Page 1-Jan- 28,1870. rgans fit AND - 00DEON .1.1.1"ACTURED BY WILLIAM aRONTO ONT. PRIZES TAKEN BY hams' 'Instruments. IRrnoN. TORONTO, 1861. ME AND DIPLOMA PRIZE; hibition, Toronto, 1862. E AND DEPLOMAy rs'xhibitione Kirtgeton, 1863. it ND HIGHLY COMMENDED thibitieu. Hamilton, 1864. rr Exhibition, London, First Prize and Highly ended, Provincial Ex -- Lower Canada„ Mon - }R zEl Exhibition, Toronto, 1866. & SPECIALLY RECOMMEN- DED, Exhibition,, Kingston, 1867. s• record of Cotmty- Exhibitions, [nstruments have always taken. aei, whenever exhibited ie petition withethers, NO FORTE be found large and well -select- first and second-olass approved new Union Piano Company's motion is solicited before buying. a R. S. WILLIAMS. Toronto, Ont 112-1y. r. 28, Ina. iIABER that the Lockman only the the Latest bet also the best te the public. rIAELF that the Lockman ugh not not much exceeding in price risaehine manufactured shay- tsmparably Superior to any cheap nght out, trIABLR, that the Loelemin,Ma• enieved an. immense populatity e it has been before the people- IABLE thet the Lockman Ma- ly occupies a position only acord- r year of toilsome effort [TABLE that the Lockman Ma- se mere force of its inherit good mite become the universal favoran pub/ie. IABLFsthat every family, 'nth- , time or city, should Awe a , and it is equally unclessi4ble -ell adapted for muverial use as !and Father withih the hounds lippy land, importune elide res Brother and Father, until the 'r (which ia sure to follow the uetion of the Sewing Machine) - rated. . WILSON, ROWMAN & CO. L 21, 1870-, III-tf. T ACT OF 1869. HENItY HARVEY SM/111, An -Insolvent. haa made an Assignment of:his d the Creditors are notifie# to Where he catried on Business t. of &afore', in the CountY1-'! irday the 5th day of February, r of Eleven o'clock in the fo-re- tatements of hi a affairs, and to ich Xmas this I7th day of January, Integra. Maier geafteitl. -970„ I 'Zaino:. Sv* WM. T. LUXTON, "Freedom in Trade—Liberty in Religion—Equality in Civil Rights". EDITOR & PUBLIS ER. VOL. 3, NO. 9, SEA.FORTH, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 1870. WHOLE NO. M. BUSINESS CARbS. MEDICAL. RTRACY, M. D., 'Comner fjr the County of . Huron. •Office and Ite.si en --One door Rasta the Methodist Episcop Chu, ch. Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868. 53-ly TT L. VERC()E, C. Ma Ph 11. goon, etc., • Office and Itesid of Market and High Street, immedia of Kidd & McMu 'a Store. Seaforth, Feb. 4th. 1870. sieian, Sur - nce, corner tely in rear 53-1y. -FIR. W. R. SMITH, Physician. Office,—Opposite Veal's ,G -roc dence--Main-street, North. Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1863. urgeon, etc. ry. Resi- 53-ly JCAMPBELL, M. D. C. t f., (Graduate of „Mc - Gil University, Montreal) Physician, Sur - eon, eth. Seaforth , Office aucl Ree'dence—Old Post Office Building, up stairs, whew found. by night or day when at home. Seaforth, July 15th, 1869. he will he 1534-1y LEGAL.. C. CAMERON, Barrister and „ Law, Goderich. Ont. - December 14th, 1669- ttorney-at 53-tf- IAYS & ELWOOD, Barristers au Attorn.eya 1 at Law, Solicitors in Chancer, , Notaries Public Conveyancers, etc. Office. -Over Mr. Archibald's Store, Crabb's Block, Goderich, Ont. Money to Lend. W. roRRANcE mtys, J. Y. ELwOoD. Seaforth, Dec, 1401, 1868 534y. -DENSON & MEYER, Barristers d Attorney .1) at Law, Solicitors in Chancery nd testilyency, Convsyancers, Notaries PuMic etc. Of - i fices,---Seaforth and Wroxeter. Ageits tor the r Trust and Lean Co. of Upper Caned, aud the Colonial Securities Co. . of London, England. Money. at attper cent; no commission,. charged. 8 JAB. FL,. SEN80N, -H. W. C. Jowl& I Seaforth, Dec. 10th 1868. 53-ly i : . t A PAGE OF MY LIFE. Then was it written in the 'sky And in the stars above, • That but three moment o should be given To me for life and loy. One moment for ua to meet, And one to part, and then One moment for a rainbow dream To melt in tears again. Yes, thus 'twas written in the sky, 'Tyra% thus the stars decreed, And we, far parted, wander on VVhere'er these starsmay lead. But there's a happy distant land Where the bonds of fate are riven. -And there we twoshall meet again Beyond the starry Heaven. Yes, it is. very true, though life be long, yet as one looks back, a few iia,ys only stand out from its monotonous level and give their color to its existence. One such day—divided from me by forty years—rises on my memory now in un- diminished brightness, and neither time, nor space, nor any other -thing; nor death itself, I sometimes think, shall quite do away with its influence upon my soul. I had risen early, and as I threw open my bed- room window and breathed the dewy freshness of the morning, I turned away in discontent at its calm brightness, for to -day he must go away! This thought had repeated itself in my un- easy dreams and troubled waking, till I felt an- gry Ninth myself, but neither pride nor reason can avail against the pain that wearied my heart that morning. I dressed myself, and wandered out into the garden. 1 stopped by a little spark- ling fountain and gazed abstractedly at its shin- ing waters, and the weving trees and the bril- liant flowers—gazed and thought. To -day he is going away. I eat down by the fountain's brink and dreamed past scenes ever again, mixed with vague fancies of what the future might have in store. Suddenly I was aware of a shadow between me and the sun. I looked up. Ralph Trafford stood before me. e With a suppressed cry I start- ed• to my feet, for a dream that changes ,to a eality, a thought that becomes a bodily pres- once, has something awful in it; my face must have expressed as much, for with - an amused mile he said, "I am sorry I frightened you nit vrharinakes me so very ,alarming this morn - ng ?" All my heart's blood rose to my face—I ried-to speak and could not, but tears came in- stead, tears, that washed away the last slight defences that kept our hearts apart ; and ah! what echoes of heavenly music did the voice I listened to awaken in my heart, what strange glory passed over the face of the earth! Then tell the shadows, and the drop of gall from which no earthly heppiness is free, and mingled it 'off in my cup of bliss. His dark eyes were looking into mine with tender pity, and the tone of his voice was sad, almost remorseful, as he said, "Forgive me, Alice, I did not mean this." "How ? I do not understand you.' -" I have been weak, base, selfishe What right had 1 to throw the smallest shadow of my OW11 trials on your bright young life? A few more hours of silence and forbearance, and 1, • with my wretched fortune, would have been ont of yourway for ever. 1 should speedily have been for offer 11otten and some" with 9CAUGFIEY & HOLMSTEAD, !Barristers, LVI Attorneys at Law, Solicitors 1h Chancery and Insolvency, Notaries Public anct('onveyarie- ers. Solicitors for the R. 0. Bank, Seaford', Agents for the Canada Life Amu ance Co. N. R.—$30,000 to lend at 8 per QiL. Farms, Houses and Lots for sale. • Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868. 5:3-tf F. WALKER, Attorney -at -La and So- . liciter in -Chancery, Conveyane r, Notary Public, &c. Office ;of the Clerk of • th� Peace, Court House, Goderich, Ont. • N.B.—Money to lend at 8, per ceni, on Farm Lands. Goderieh, Jan'y. 28. 1870. • 112-1y. • DENTAL. - • G. NV. jf.A.R.Ris, I,. 1) ficial Dentures inserted latest improvements. .T1 care taken fur tne preservation of de tender teeth. Teeth extracted wit Rborna over Collier's Store. `Seaforth. Dec. 14, 1898. HOTELS I HARP'S H.OTEL, Livery Stable, a d Geuera 0 Stage Office, Main -street. R .L Sir RP, Prop. Seaferth, Jan. 8th, 1869. 3 7: 8. Arti- •th all the e greatei3t eyed and out pain. ly. 53 :tf. COMMERCIAL HOTEL, Ainleyvil kJ Laird, proprietor, affords first-cl one a home to "Oh,' Ralph ?" "My poor love,, do not look as if I ineant a reproach, but my prospects are so little hopeful o nows w let ier it will ever be in my power to claim you as my wife: It would be the very height �f selfishness to sacrifice your future to a vision that possibly, nay probably, could never be realized; better be nothing to you than a vain regret !" "Stop, Ralph. It is you who do not under- stand me now. Could it have been better for me to believe that you had madeit a day's amuse- ment to win my heart and gone away to play the same careless frolic perhaps with anether ? To have both my self-respect and trust in others poisoned by the laarassing doubt whether I had oeen misled by my own silly vanity or your cruel le, Janies deceit. No! henceforth come what may, I can ss accomt 1 iear it. I may never see you again, but 1 have 1 your • e. ou may forget 1 me; may even traiasfer your love to another, ; but 1 shall know I had it once. You cannot deprive me of that comfort now !" zaitrtaak liAtn-ir AAAL Vil,I. VA [It If l...J.LIA18 • U1111114. 1 11 ti lame' and bar ere always supplied with th best thc markets afford. Excellent stabling in onnection Ainleyville, April 23, 1869. 70•If. T B. 'toss, Proprietor Nev Domin on Hotel, 0 begs to inform the people of 'Sea orth and the.travelling commueity generally, th: t hekeepa firstclassaccommodation in every thin required by tiravellers. • A good stable and willi g hostler always on hand. Regular Boarders w 11 receive every necessary attention. •ieaforth, Feb. Stli, 1869. 63-1y. ARCHITECTS. _ 0 MAILL & CROOKE, Architects, at:. 0 and !..;pectifications drawn correctly ter2s, Plasterer's. and Mason's work; and valued. Office—Over t. C. Defier :stores Court -House Square, Godurich. Goderich, April 23 1869. , , Plans Clupen- measured is Co.'s 79-1y. TTENRY WA TKINSON, Architect and Build - la ere Plans, Specifications aril Details drawn correctly.- Every description of Buildf g Works measured end valued. Bills of quantities pre- pared. Oteree —Next door North of ! is Hick - son's old store. Seaford). . Seaforth, Juno 9th, 1869. ', 9-tf SURVEYORS. . ri & W. MePHILLIPS, Provincial Land Sur - Ur`. veyors, Civil Eneineers, etc. Al 1 manner of -Conveyancing done with neatness and ispateh. GMcPhillips, Commissioner in 13.• R. Office. Nextdoor south of Sharp's Hotel, Sego h. Seaforth, Dec 14, 18 . 53.1y . , AUCTIONEER1 1) \ 11AZLEHURST, Licensed Aucti neer fo 1..). the County of Huron. Goderi 'h, tint Particular attention paidisft the sale ef lankrtipt Stock. Farm Stock Sales attexeled o , Liberal Terms. Goods Appraised, Mort:gages Fo eclosed, Landlord's Warrants Executed. siSso Bailiff First Diviaion Court for Huron. Goderich, June 9th, 1869. 76. tf, e though you ought, for, by -the -by, he used to be a great odmirer of yours, dear Alice. r‘trell, Mr. • been Lewis has at Munich where he saw a good deal of him. Just before he left, it came • out that Ralph had been privately married for some weeks to the widow of Count—, who died not above six months ago. There had been some scandal about Ralph and this woman last year, so Mr. L. says, but whether the re- ports were true or not of course he could not say but, at all events, it was not the first scandal she has been the horoine of. My husband is vexed; for he has always had a great regard for. • Ralph; and what makes the matter moreannOy- ing is that his elder brother is now quite given over, and only sent to Madeira to die, so that we may soon expect the bride and bridegroom to take possession of D--- Hale and I must de- cide what to do about calling on her," &c., &c. Not I, then, but another, was to share his home, when he had one to offer. I crushed the letter together in my hand, and flung it into the fire. The feelings of my heart, as I watched it shrivel and perish, I am as unable to describe as to forget. I had answered quietly- and collectedly when asked,: "What does Elenor aay ?" I remember, as I put down the letter to pour out my mother's tea, that I searched the sugar -basin' with minute perseverance, in order to find a lump of the pre- cise size. I went through the ordinary occupa- titans of the day as usual. My inner life had long • been too distinct from the exterdal for this to be difficult; but at last, alone in my own room, the icy numbness that had gathered round my heart gave way. I flung myself on my knees by the bedeide, and covered my face with my hands, though there was no one to see the tears that came to my relief. Ah! my vain trust. .Ah! my foolish hope. But he had loved me once, and 'there was still comfort in the thought. Who has not once in his life been happy in a visionary Para- dise, and been driven out by the flaming sword! But the degree -of suffering depends on the capa- city to suffer, and mine was great. On some minds an impression is no sooner made than it be- gins to be effaced. • Time alone, with light imper- ceptible touches, suffices to smoothe away its traces, but on others, a strong iinpression once made is ineffaceable; like characters chisselled on a hard stone the enarks may be overgrown, but beneath the moss and lichen that hides them they still remain, till the stone itself shall perish. The letter was consumed. rstarted up and paced the narrow room with' the feeling of a caged animal. I longed to rush out into the woods and fields, and there, in solitude under the stormy sky, do battle with the fiery pain that pawed at my heart; but no, I must wrap myself in the Spartan cloak of resolute reserve, and I did it, but it was a hard struggle. I do not love to contemplate it evon now. Let the picture go. • . Years pass away and another day arrives, the last on which I was ever destined to feel a strong emotion. I had arrived at the age of thirty. I was in the drawing -room of a small house in Torquay, where we were passing the winter for the sake of my mother's failing health. She, wrapt in a large -shawl, is sitting in the warmest corner by the fire talking with unusual cheerfalness to my brother Charles and his wife, who were staying with us ; but I, withdrawn from the bright fire and cheer- ful talk, sit by the window looking into the dreary street, bleak and dismal in. the lengthening days and strengthening cold of early February. .Ah! my poor mother. I know Why she is so cheerful. I had on that day received an elligible offer of marriage. . "1 can depart in peace now," she said, when I showed her Colonel Griffiths letter.. "1 shall see you in a home of your own, my Alice.', , b 80. W 3 a very for - Yes it would e better tunate woman. Colonel Griffiths would have be a good match for me when I was in the zenith my beauty—how lucky then to make such a mit riage now ? I had struggled with my west love, my vain regrets. There was somethin buried deep down in my heart, but it lay ve still. • It gave no sign of life.- I wished to forg it was there. Yet on this day there were emir ous stirrings and heavings he the 'grave where lay hid, a sort Of convulsive sob ; but no, it mu be dead, it had been so long buried. Why shoul not my future life be bright? and then my ey and thofights wandered to the opposite house. had been tenanted. by a" lady, of whom all I kne en of r- ed rY et it st cl es It was that she was solitary and a widow, but I had watched her gradual decline with interest that vas partly pity .aud partly envy. She was young certainly not older than myself, and her task WAS lone already. The soul that looked out of her hright e es Was fast departing to some alm regioe of aI rest ; for me, how :may years lia•1 o be traversed before my pilgrim - e hould ) ? Yet to see her dying among . trangers so lonely and forlorn was a sad and Ind- ia sight, but that wit3 all over now, 'she had de-' )arted and the hearse which was to carry her rail faded form to a distant grave stood at he door. A travelling carriage was there too ; hat must he for the brother, who had come to er the day before she died. Very sad and dis- irited as was feeling, the contemplation df eath was more coegenial to me than the thought f life. 1 continued to look on dreamily, but hen the door opened and he, her broth's'', ad- anced. to the threshold, what made my heart top and ;then throb so tumultuously? What ere life, and death, and eternity, all forgotten n the absorbing agony of expectation with which I watched to see his face. I did see it, he looked rip. Oh ! will nothing keep him one moment •whilstd look at the grave care -worn features once more? Once more! No, he gets int the carri- age, he- pulls down the blinds, and he is gone ! I walked slowly back towards the fire. "Why, Alice, you look as if you had seen a hest!" was the exclamation that greeted me, knit so I had. I had seen one who for me had o longer an existence upon earth—I had seen alph Trafford, and, like an apparation from the n of spirits, he came in time to warn me from he evil I was about to do. Yet, after that strong earning to look upon his face again had passed, was not so much love that worked in niy-heart a despairing conviction that this man 'was my th. That to be hi a• sacrifice was my destiny, d that I could not fight against it. I had nev- been so near hating Ralph as at the time when resolved to offer up all the remainder of my life the memory of the love I once bore him; ever felt so tender a gratitude to the other as hen I determined to reject him; but that one ectric moment had lightened up every hidden rner of my heart, and shown me the dishonor it ould be to accept that for which I could give no quisralent That day was the last of my life. I -em to myself since then to. have has nothing to o with the world, only to wait the end, •and use over the painfal riddle of existence with • His self -blame was chased away, at least for the moment, and we sat together by the foun- tain, silent and happy—the past forgotten the • future.unthought Of, the present all in all. W made no vows, plighted no troth; but we love( one another, and we knew it. A few mor hours, and he was gone away into the wid world, the deep sea between is, and barriers fa more impassable dividing us from each other to ever 1, too, returned to nay own home, and n trace rernained of the day that had so great an in fluence on my life, save in the depths of my owl heart. 1 have never seen. that garrieu again; but once since 1 have been old 1 dreamed.that 1 wa there. Once more the fountains sparkled in the sunshine, the trees waved, the birds sang, the very scent of the flowers—all, all was as on tha day so long ago. For one moment 1. was young again ---it was a strange sensation`; the next there was a pang of something lost or mislaid, a doubt as of my own identity, a struggle to think and recollect; and I &Woke. it was only a dream ;nay, only the reflection of a dream—the shadow of a- shade. • Theonitts gatlitr over the magic. glass of me: mory. They clue., and another picture forms itself to the mind's eye. 1. amin my old room at home. The shadows of evening are darkening in the autumnal sky, the 1 heavy clouds driftabout uneasy like spirits. I raise my eyes to the ' casement window and watch the faded, falling leaves flutter by and vanish like the hope and promise of my youth. The moaning of the wind sounds in my ears like • the wailing dirge of the past, and the fast dark- . ening heavens seem the emblem of my future. With a heavy sigh -I stirred the smouldering fire into a blazb, and stooped- to read by its light those sentences of the letter held, and -which were already imprinted iii fiery diameters on my brain. It was my. sister Eleanor's kind, uncon- scious hand that had given me this mortal blow; yes, a mortal blow for that which had been for three years the life of my life died out as I ' read died and made no sign. Her story was merely this :-- Do you remember Ralph Trafford? Perhaps not, it ie so long iiiiliAS you met him.; m e 1 f e e f ✓ t ✓ t O 13 Ip d 8 V 8 t 11 lt la it as fa an er to 11 el co se patient wonder, and a hope, m,ore lively is the time of near departure draws me, that when the veil of material things is removed, this life of mine, so suffering and apparently so purposeless, may, in the unknown world which is to come, turn out after all to have had a use and a meaning. es•• 01". A Military Mother. 4 German paper gives an account of a strange incident which occurred lately on the occaison of a marriage before the civil authorities in Algeria. The official required the consent of the mother and asked if she were present. A Ioud bass voice answered "yes." The mayor looked up and saw a tall soldier before him. "That is well," he said, "let the mother come here—her consent and signature are necessary. To the as- tonishment of all present, the soldier approached the mayor with long strides, saluted. in military fashion, and said "You ask for the mother of the bride ; she stands before you." "Very well, sir„:' replied the mayor, " then stand back, I can take no proxy ; I must see the mother—the mother I tell you!" - And I repeat," rejoined the soldier, "that she stands before you. My name is Maria L. I have been thirty-six years in the seryice ; I have beenythrough several campaigns, and obtained the rank of sergeant; here are my papers, the permission to wear uniform, and my noinination as sergeant major.' The mayor care- fully examined the documents and found them perfectly correct, and completed the marriage of the bridal pair, the mother blessing them so fer- vently with her deep bass voice that all present were more startled than touched. '-'0S0' Upon the termination of the jury trial which recently took place at Inverary. in which a river passenger steamboat master was found guilty and sent to prison for fourteen days. for recklessly steering his !vessel in the Firth of Clyde, whereby she came in collision with another passenger steamer, several of the jurors and a number of the "skilled" witnesses from Grennock and else- where met at an hotee where they all partook of some refreshments around the same table. The conversation naturally turned upon the trial in which they'had all taken part, when one of the • 'skilled" -witnesses, addressing one of the jurors (a jolly farmer, who was sitting next him). asked if, while in the jury box that day, he fully un- derstood the meaning of the technical phrases which the several witnesses made use of while speaking of the port bow, starboard bow, dead' lights, paddle wings, pinnacles, points of the compass, etc. "Deed and tae tell ye the truth," was the reply, I canna say I just followed a wheen o' you fellows; I wud hae kent mair about the points o' a guid coo." "Then by what process did you arrive at the conclusion that the man was guilty of an offence the details of which you did not fully comprehend ?" "O'd, man replied the juror, turning towards his questioner and staring innocently into his face, "the chiel maim hae had something tae dae wi't or he wad- na been brocht here !" Wanted to ICn Net. Whether the first chicken wks hatched from an egg; if so where did the egg come from? What portion of a snake is body, and what tail? Whether a woman that occasionally raps her husband over the head with a rolling -pin intends to make him a numbhead or his head numb ? Whether the wonien have "waterfalls" on their heads to prevent congiAtion of the brain Whether a man who part3 liis hair in the middle can balance himself any better when a little "tight ?" Is out of money the worst thing out? Cresar had eaten two of what, when lie said to Brutus" Et tu Brute ?" Are free masons at liberty to carry a "brick" in their h-ats? Are undertakers under any obligations to doc- tors for success in their business ? Is she a good upright woman who practices the "Grecian Bend? If there is no statute against playing on a lyre, is a man liable for drumming a lawyer a on the head? :Which is the best place for catching suckers, in the water or on 'dry land? The financial column of the London Times of • January iryth, has the followieg It is un- derstood that the deputation of the Great Wes- tern Railway of Canada, on their return to London, report that they have made a working 'larrangement with the Michigan Central Rail - toad of a very advantageous character, and which will shortly be submitted to the proprie- tors at a special general meeting. The two lines, It is stated, are to be werked as one, so far as regards through traffic, on the joint purse sys- tem, dividing the gross earnings aecording to the average results of the past two years. With regard to an additional line to accommo- date the rapidly increasing through traffic, a permissive bill has been obtained, which, when the necessity for it shall arise, can be submitted for the consideration of the shareholders." ess• els I have no Time to Study. The idea about the want of time is a mere phantom. Franklin found time in the midst of all his labors to dive into the hidden recestes•nf philosophy, and to explore the untrodden path of science. The great Ftederick, with an em- pire at his direction, in the midst of war, on the eve of battles which were to decide the fate of his kingdom, found time to revel in the charins of philosopy and intellectual pleasures. Bona- parte, with all Europe at his disposal, with kings in his • ante -chamber, begging for vacant thrones, with thousands of men whose destinies were suspended on the brittle thread of his arbi- • trary pleasures, had time to converse with books. Omni., when he hed curbed the spirits of the Roman people and was thronged with visitors from the remotest kingdoms, found time for intellectual cultivation. Every man has time if he improves it as well as he might, and can reap a threefold reward. Let 'mechanics then make use of the hours at their disposal, if they want to obtain a proper influence in society. They are the life -blood of the community; they can if they pleate, hold in their hands the w destinies of our country: they are numerous lea co so ro VARIETIES. 'A floral swell—The dandy lion. Drawing-rooms—Apartments of a dentist. The slave of the ocean—The surf. If a monkey had the gift of speech, how would he conunence ? 13y japers ! The latest thing out—The gas when it is turn- ed off. and everybody has gone to bed. Let friendship gently creep to a height. If you rush at it, it may soon run itself out of breath. Nothing is more dangerous than a friend with-- out discretion ; even a prudent -enemy is piefer- able. Weeding a garden may be a safer business than. unweediug a pretty young widow, but not half so pleasant. Figures can't lie," says the arithmetician "You *ft Bay that of women's figures in these days," responds theslanderous dressmakers. An ignorant man who " stands upon his digni- ty," is like the fellow who tried to elevate him- self by standing on a piece of brown paper. .The hearts of yonng girls, like new wooden vessels, at first let everythirig drop through, un- til, in time, the tesseis swell, and thus retain their contents. Swift proposed. to put a tax on female beauty, and to kave every lady to rate her own charms. He said the tax would be cheerfully paid, and would be very prodective. Railways are aristocrats. They teach every man to know his own station and to stop there. Why are women extravagant on others ? Be- cause when they buy a new drees they wear it out on he first day. PRErrY TEACHER. ---``NOW, Johnny Wells, catt you tell me what ismeant by a miracle ?" John- ny—"Yes, teacher. Mother says if ecou 'don't marry new parson, lvtull be amen•acle.' Josh Billings says there is nothing more tough- ing in this •life than to see a poor but virtuous young man struggling with a weak moustache. -A Scotch elder on hearingfronihisministerthat he proposed a series of lectures on Rev -elation, cautioned him : "I've nae objection to ye taking a quiet trot throUgh the seten churcher, but for ony sake drive canny among the seals and trump - eta." Some one speaking of presents, says : "The best thing to give yceir enemy is foigiveness ; to your opponent, tolerance, to's friend. your heart ; to your children, a good example; to yQur father. deference, to your Mother, love to yourself, respect, to all men, charity ,,to G;a1, obedience. A Dutchman, in describing a pair of horses which he lost, said, " Dey was very mooch like. 'specially the off one. One lookt so mooch like poth I could not tell Vodder from which, when I went after one I always caught de oder, and 1 whipped de one most dead, because de oder kick. ed at me." True generosity rises above the ordinary rule of social conduct, and flows with much too fulla streath to be comprehended without the preches marks of formal precepts It smoothies every pas- sion, and adds grace to every acquisition of the soul, and if it does not necetsarily inelude at least it reflects a lustre upon the whole circle of moral and intellectual qualities. What is the matter with you" inquired a gen- tleman who had called•to see his sick neighbour, a Dutchman. "Vell I don't know—dey say it ish de cout • but yy should I have de emit. I lives blain; don't eat too much nor•drink too much." Perhaps," suggested his friend. it is hereditary; I remember my wife's uncle had. Epitaph al an affectionate 'brother --Here lies Fred, who *as alive is dead ; had it been his father, I would much -railer ; had it been his brother, still better than another ; had been his sister, no one 'Weald have missed her : had it been the whole generation, still better for the. nation ; but since 'tis only Fred, who Was alive and is dead, there's no more to be said. A certain Judge of Avignon, famous for his love of good living,. said to a friend one day-. "We have just been dining of a superb turkeys' It was excellent. • We left nothing but the bone& " "How many were there of you?" asked the friend, " Two," replied the judge. "Two," echoed the other, in astonishinent. "Yea, two," repeated thp jndge, "the turkey and myself." An eating house keeper, who prided himself on his ability to get up the best dinners to be had anywhere wishing to give- the public the full benefit of his knowledge, perpetrated the follow- ing sign:—' 'Try my dinners---thtsy can't be beat.? In an evil hoer., however, a wicked wag came along, and dexterously painted over the initial letter of the lest word. The announcement then was : "Try my dinners—they can't be eat 'i How To GET ON —A dyspeptic and melane choliy young professional man once bewailed his prospects to Chief Justice Parsons, and said "he didn't see how he could ever set through the world."' "Did you ever know any one to stop. on the way ?" was the grave and eonseling Some music teacher once Wrote that "the art of playing a violin requires the nicest pereeption-and the most eensibility of any art in the known world." Upon which an editor comments in the' following manner • • The art _oftpublishing & newspaper. and making it pay and at the mune time making it please everybody, beats fiddlire higher than a kite." FULFILLING THE LAW. Let each one strive with all his might To be a decent man, And love his brother as himself -- Upon the golden plau ; And if his neighbour chance to he A pretty female WOR13.11, Why, love her all the more—you see That's only acting humate "WHO WAS Ro-urr."---We heard a 'sod story the other day of how a reverend ancashier - lecturer was "sat upon in the south by one of those "voices' which sometimes put such ugly queries when least expected. The speaker was • proving that dome of good were always in the miner -Ay, and, by parity of reasoning, that tho ' Conservatives were worthy -of all support and ad- miration, being fewer M number than their op- ponents. • Proceeding to illustrate his argument, he said, •"Pisul was in a minority, out who was right ? Christ was in a minority, but who was nglit ? Peter was in a minority, but who was right ?" Viut. the lecturer was litteraIly "sat up - 011" when a "voiee in the gallery bawled out, " Judas Iscariot was in the minority, but who as right ?". The effect was indescribable. The turer was -dumb, and for some miriutes he uld not utter a word. The audience, on who -De me effect had previously been made, literally ared.— Warrington Guardian. respectable, and powerful, and they have only to be educated half as well as other professions, to make laws for the people.