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The Times Advocate, 2006-01-11, Page 66 Exeter Times–Advocate Wednesday, January 11, 2006 Opinion Forum News Seniors' perspective Continued from page 5 two armies met were court-martialed for allowing their troops to fraternize with the enemy. Twas the Day After... Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was hurting, even the mouse. The toys were all broken, their batteries dead, Santa passed out, with some ice on his head. Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, While upstairs the family continued to snore. And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans, I went to the kitchen, and started to clean. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter, Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the curtain, and threw up the sash. When what to my bloodshot eyes should appear? But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror. The driver was smiling, so lively and grand The patch on his jacket said "Canada Postman " With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox. Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox Bill after bill, after bill, they still came. Whistling and shouting he called them by name: "Now Zellar's, now Home Depot and now is Sears Here's Wal -Mart's, here's MasterCard and Visa...so in arrears To the tip of your limit, every store, every mall, Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!" He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work. He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk. He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road, Driving much faster with just half a load. Then I heard him explain with great holiday cheer, ENJOY WHAT YOU BOUGHT... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES: 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2.Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will pre- vent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a ham- mer and you will forget about the toothache. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD -40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD -40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know him or her. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bath- room. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan. Steckle rarely heard How is it that Paul Steckle gets away with saying one thing and doing quite anoth- er? While his advertising may claim that he is "an effective and determined voice" for Huron -Bruce, in actuality Mr. Steckle's voice is rarely heard in Parliament Hansard and www.howdtheyvote.ca recorded that Mr. Steckle spoke up only 41 times in the last Parliament; less than a third of the average of 127 per MP. This ranks him a low 256th in the list of the most vocal MPs, firmly in the bottom fifth of the house. Of these 41 occasions, more than a quarter were matters of routine procedure, presenting committee reports or voting. He has not uttered a single word in Parliament on health care, post -secondary education or child care. When a bill pro- hibiting scab labour was brought to the floor, Mr. Steckle quietly took his party line and voted to defeat it. He also voted against fixing EI to reverse the dramatic surpluses his party's gov- ernment has reaped on the backs of Canadian workers. I suspect most of his con- stituents are unaware of these votes. Is this what we ought to call speaking on behalf of the people of Huron -Bruce? If our current elected representative won't stand up for us on health care, education and EI, voters must turn to someone who will. JAMES BRAUN, Clinton Hockey community pulls together Senior hockey fans and players, like fans and players of any level love to cheer on or play on their favourite team. We love to cheer the big hits, the goals and the other team's penalties. We all have our favourite players and the ones on the oppo- sition that we "love to hate". These same gladiators are the men in our community; some are husbands, some are fathers, some are students and some are working members of the community. This is true in every team in the league.One thing that they all have in common is that they are part of the WOAA Senior Hockey League Faternity. As such when something happens to one of them it is felt league wide. Unfortunately this recently happened to the Palmerston 81 team, when one of their players, Kevin Beaumont, was killed in a traffic accident over the holiday sea- son. Kevin was a father to two young children, aged two and four who were unin- jured in the crash, however his long-time girlfriend was seriously injured and has a long road of recovery ahead of her. The Hensall Sherwoods will be playing the Palmerston 81's tonight (Jan. 11) at the Hensall Arena at 8:30 p.m. We will have a donation jar set up to collect for the trust fund for Kevin's children. We hope that all fans who attend the game will donate generously. HENSALL SHERWOOD SR A HOCKEY CLUB When things ain't great... legislate Council seems intent on solving the stormwater management problem in town through politics instead of sound engineering. There was a steady chorus of rhetoric coming from the council table at the public meeting regarding a subdivision application such as 20 -year, 50 -year and 100 -year floods, MOE guidelines, etc. Coun. Ken Oke's impassioned speech stating that he was in favour of the subdivision application in order to help area residents would have been heartfelt if council's whole response hadn't been so obviously orchestrated. It is amazing to see the dif- ference at meetings when council clearly wants something to go ahead as compared to an issue they'd rather forget about regardless of citizens' points of view. Deputy Mayor Dave Urlin stated it could be 25-30 years before an application is seen for the development of the balance of the lands to the east of Pryde Boulevard which are part of the cause of our flooding problems. Just before our most recent flood council refused a development proposal for these very lands. The only public concern that council addressed with the present application was that of a drainage swale. The political solution for the swale issue actually reduces its effectiveness. Both of these developments could potentially solve a big chunk of Exeter's water problems - if engineered properly. But sound engineering is obvi- ously going to be trumped by good politics. If we are going to do this politically lets go all the way. I suggest a bylaw is what's required here to solve this problem. In the spirit of the federal Liberal party's pro- posed handgun legislation, I propose that we ban all rains in excess of 3 1/2 inches in any three-hour period. To do this right we would need a companion bylaw which would limit the size of rain monitoring devices sold in the municipality to 3 1/2" in volume instead of the current average of 6"-7". Also, we would need to lobby Environment Canada to cease forecasting and reporting rainfalls in excess of the new guidelines. "When things ain't great - legislate" DEAN DUCHARME„ Huron Contractors Inc Which way do we go from here? As president of the Hensall Spring Fair board for the past three years, I found the experience both rewarding and challenging. The board has accomplished a great many things to be proud of. We are made up of all the service clubs in the village and are working together the weekend of the fair. We have had excellent fmancial support from the businesses in the area and for that I thank you. Now the bad news...becuase of the poor turnout at the fair from the community it is time to ask, as the former president did, "has the fair run it's course and is it time to move on?" The annual meeting Jan. 16 at the Hensall Arena will produce the answers. A new PA system has been purchased from some of the proceeds for the use of the whole village. This is something everyone can benefit from. It is available for func- tions to all the groups in Hensall. I cannot speak for the hardworking, dedicated volunteers I have had the pleasure to work with, however speaking for myself, "thanks for the memories". If anyone out there has any suggestions as to what the next step should be please do not hesi- tate to attend the annual meeting Jan. 16 at the Hensall Arena. We would welcome any suggestions. KAY WISE President of Hensall Spring Fair Board Voting Conservative So Mr. Martin is going to ban handguns. How naive! Aside from having had the chance to do this for the last 12 years — as if this were even possible — this illus- trates the sheer hypocrisy of the opportunistic Liberal Party. _� Letters to the Editor Perhaps Mr. Martin will also want to ban robbery. House break and enters? Next he will tell us he can ban crime. How absurd! Banning handguns will be about as effective as a gun registry which, of course, does not solve the current law and order problems. It has been an enormously expensive Liberal boondoggle from the begin- ning. I can tell you, as a long time prosecutor in the criminal justice system, the Conservative policies of tougher mandatory sentencing; gun specific sentencing, bail reform and a thorough cleansing of the parole system will be far more effective. Stephen Harper is the only leader who has come close to a realistic policy on crime. The Conservatives are the only credible party to be trusted to clean up the mess in Ottawa and to address the justice system wisely. This time it is time for a change — I am voting for my local Conservative candidate, Bev Shipley. JOHN EBERHARD Q.C. Komoka. Letters to the Editor The Times -Advocate welcomes letters to the editor as a forum for open discussion of local issues, concerns, complaint, and kudos. By mail: P.O. Box 850, Exeter, Ontario NOM 1S6 By fax: (519) 235-0766 By e-mail: editor@southhuron.com Please include your name and address. Anonymous letters will not be published. The Times -Advocate reserves the right to edit letters for brevity. POLICE BRIEFS Attempted Lucan business break-in LUCAN — n Jan. 6 unknown parties attempted to enter the LCBO on Main Street in Lucan through the roof. Damage was done to the natural gas line. A stolen white cargo van was recovered at the scene. Smashed mail box in North Middlesex NORTH MIDDLESEX — On Jan. 6 a mail box was smashed on Maguire Road near Adare Drive in North Middlesex. This is the fourth time this has happened.