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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Times Advocate, 2005-02-02, Page 27Wednesday, February 2, 2005 Exeter Times–Advocate 27 Bullying discussed at Mt. Carmel Mt. Carmel students Meaghan Glavin,Angela Regier and Pierre Langois help Paul Behnke in one of his songs Jan. 21 during a presentation on dealing with bullying Behnke put on. (photo/ Pat Bolen) By Pat Bolen TIMES -ADVOCATE STAFF MT. CARMEL — Mt. Carmel students heard some important lessons Jan. 21 on dealing with bullying. Students from Kindergarten to Grade 5 saw a presentation from Paul Behnke, a teacher and musician from Bright, Ont. Using songs, stories and role-playing, Behnke gave the students lessons on deal- ing with different types of bullying situa- tions. Behnke told the students bullies are look- ing for anyone different or weaker than them and will try to do something to upset their victims. According to Behnke, the most important rule for dealing with a bully is to never cry or get upset.. He said ignoring the abuse means the bully is not having any fun and most will stop. Behnke said threatening to tell an adult is another way of dealing with it, as bullies don't want parents or teachers involved. If bullying escalates into physical acts, Behnke said it was important for victims never to get physically involved. "It's ok to run away," was the message Behnke told the students, as well as imme- diately telling a trusted adult. Behnke has been giving his seminars on bullying for six years across North America. Mt. Carmel will be having another dis- cussion on bullying in April. Grades 6 to 8 will hear Miles Neuts, whose son died after being hanging on a coat hook. For information on Behnke's seminars, visit www. paulbehnke. on. ca. Queensway talent show a success HENSALL — Queensway's talent show Sun., Jan. 30 was definitely the highlight of the week. Young and old contributed their many talents. Fred Fry at 98 years of age singing, The Ring Your Mother Wore was a hit as were the piano solos by 6 -year-old Tori Mittelhotz. Staff member Diane Volland had everyone in stitches with the jokes in her comedy routines. These were just a few of the wonderful entertain- ers that took part. January birthdays were celebrated Thurs., Jan. 27 at 7 p.m. Entertainment was pro- vided by Harvey Smith and guitar; Devon Martene on fiddle; Harold Mills with accor- dian and Don Finbeiner accompanying on the piano. Birthday celebrants were Dorothy Hovey and Wanda Lawrence. The 20 Senior Dining guests all stayed to enjoy the great music with resi- dents. Pastor Harry Frielink of the Exeter Christian Reform Church led wor- ship service on Tuesday. Volunteer Belva Fuss was organist for the ser- vice. Monday evening, Julie Battjes, Michelle Hern and Jo Ann Masse of Arbonne International Organization presented a Health and Wellness seminar and hands-on demonstration. All in attendance found the seminar very enlighten- ing. Coming events Fri., Feb. 4 at 7 p.m. Friendship Friday with Andy and Friends. Thurs., Feb. 10 at 6 p.m. Senior Diners. Sat., Feb. 12 at 2 p.m. Valentine's party with Audibly Awesome (spon- sored by Hensall Legion). Conservationist of the Year award AUSABLE BAYFIELD - As the need for environmental preservation increases, citizens become more vigi- lant in caring for our land and water. Since 1984, the Ausable Bayfield Conservation Authority has recognized individuals, families, organizations and corporations who have demonstrated outstanding achievements in improving local water quality, reforestation, envi- ronmental education, advocating best management practices and protecting fish and wildlife habitat. Past winners of the Conservationist of the Year Award include Ray Letheren and the Friends of Bayfield River, Environmentally Concerned Citizens of Lambton Shores, Stephanie Donaldson of Grand Bend and Andy deBoer of Exeter. These recipients took awareness and turned it into action. They demonstrated strong conserva- tion ethics by initiating projects to pro- tect unique environmental features in their community, promoting steward- ship of our resources and volunteering in support of conservation -related pro- jects. To be eligible for the award, recipi- ents must be located within the juris- diction of the Ausable Bayfield Conservation Authority. Current ABCA staff and directors are not eligible. Details describing the categories and nomination forms are available at your municipal office, the ABCA office at 235-2610 or www.abca.on.ca. The deadline for submissions is March 4 and the Conservationist of the Year will be named at a special meet- ing of the ABCA board of directors March 17. Influences and factors on a teenager's sex habits By Kent Nicholson SPECIAL TO THE TIMES -ADVOCATE (Note:The author is a student in South Huron District High School's Grade 11/12 Communications class. The article is one of a series students are writing this year.) EXETER — Sex is a big part of a teenager's life and their sex habits start to change due to a number of influences — television, parent -teen relationships and drugs and alcohol are some of them. Television is a big factor because many teenagers watch a lot of TV. A teenager can watch on average around three hours a day, says Rebecca Collins, PhD, of RAND Corporation. A study from the journal "Pediatrics," has shown that teens who watch sex on TV are more likely to become sexually active sooner. Collins did phone interviews with nearly 1,800 young people aged 12-17 about their sexual activities and television viewing habits. One year later they called participants again to note what shows they watched and new sexual experiences the teens had experienced since the first survey. The results showed that teens who viewed the most shows with sex in them were nearly twice as likely to have started having sexual intercourse as those who watched the least sexually charged shows. Twelve- year -olds who watched the most sex on TV (in their age group) were similar to youths two to three years older who watched the least sex on TV (in their age group). This makes the kids grow up faster, according to Collins. The issue is not just sexual scenes, it is also the dialogue about sex that is just as influential. There are risks that go with sex, such as diseases and unexpected pregnancies and these issues are not men- tioned on TV. Collins also writes "only about one out of every seven TV shows include any safe -sex messages" and "it apparently makes little difference whether a TV show presents people talking about whether they have sex or shows them actually having sex". Also parents may want to watch TV with their children and discuss risks and decisions related to the shows' sexual content instead of turning off the TV or drastically changing programs. Another influence on teenagers is their parents and how close their relationship is with them. A study done by Robert Blum PhD, the director of the Center of Adolescent Health and Development at the University of Minnesota shows that the closer the relationship with a parent the more likely the teen will delay sexual activi- ty. So if you don't have a good relationship with your child, here are some things to ponder, says Blum. Rather than planning activities with your children, try taking steps to do things like being familiar with their friends, as well as the parents of those friends. Just doing activities with your teens is not going to cut it, but talking will, as will listening and being available. This isn't going for coffee with your kid, it is about being involved with their lives. If you do want to get involved in their lives, here are some tips from Denise Witmer, a "Professional Parent" in a teen home for 11 years, on talking about sex to preteens: • Make sure they really know the basics. If you haven't already explained to them where babies come from, now is the time, as they most likely have heard it from their peers. You may need to see what informa- tion they have and then, give them the truth. Pre -teens are notorious for misinformation on sex. • Talk about body image and issues. During adoles- cence, both boys and girls are concerned with the way their bodies start to change. They will have concerns about what is and what isn't normal. Let them know they are normal and everyone going through this time in their lives has the same valid concerns. Share some of the concerns you had when you were their age. • Discuss the consequences of sexual behavior. Pre- teens are learning about Newton's third law in science class at school: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. It is not too far a stretch to relate this to their lives in other ways. Some consequences can be wonder- ful when they happen at the `right' age. Pregnancy is great, when your child is all grown up and married. It makes life hard though, if your child should get preg- nant at a young age. Share these feelings with your pre- teen as you discuss these difficult issues. • Give your pre -teen every possible perspective. It is beneficial to your pre -teen if you are able to get sexual information and perspective from both a woman's and a man's point of view. Moms can shed some light on what girls are all about to their son and dads can impart an observation or two about boys to their daughter. If you feel uncomfortable — that's OK. Most likely, so does your pre -teen. Try to keep these conversations light and with some humor. • Tell your preteen that your door is always open. Most importantly, encourage your pre -teen to talk to you often about any questions they may have about sex. Remember that you are their person of choice when it comes to valuable life information. Your pre -teen does realize they are facing choices and they will come to you with questions. Let them know you will be there for them. Remember to bring up the fact that open com- munication with you about sex does not in any way imply that you condone sexual behavior at their age or maturity. Saying this will clear any confusion your pre- teen may have and calm some of your own concerns. Another thing that influences teenagers' sex habits is drugs and alcohol, says Witmer. Drugs and alcohol can influence a teen's sex habits because, when using either, it will impair their judgements about sex, which will place them at an increased risk for unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. A survey was taken by Witmer on high school students and their sex habits. Some of the results are: about 75 per cent of high school seniors have had sexual intercourse at least once in their lives; about 20 per cent have had more than four sexual partners by their senior year. Eighteen per cent of females and 39 per cent of males say it is acceptable for a boy to force sex if the girl is stoned or drunk. These three results show that teens are frequently having more sex at younger ages, according to Witmer. These three influences: television, parent -teen rela- tionship and drugs and alcohol are, as you can see, big factors in a teen's sex habits. By understanding this, you may become more influential on your teen about their sex habits. Sources: my.webmd.com/content/article/93/102451.htm; www.hbns.org/newsrelease/mothersinfluence9-4- 02 . cfm; http://parentingteens. about. com/cs/teensexuali- ty/a/sex_teens_drugs. htm;http://parentingteens. about. c om/64/teensexuality/a/teen_sex7.htm