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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Times Advocate, 2004-03-03, Page 2626 Exeter Times–Advocate Wednesday,March 3, 2004 Classifieds / News HPWSA meeting focuses on stress management By Mary Simmons TIMES -ADVOCATE STAFF MITCHELL — Farming is one of the most stressful occupations. Members of the Huron -Perth Women in Support of Agriculture (HPWSA) were given tips to manage that stress by John Field at their monthly meeting Feb. 26. Field told the group of approximate- ly 60 women that according to a study of 136 occupations ranked according to stress level, farming was in the top five. He also said it can be even more stressful for women, although they tend to manage stress better than men. Field, a family therapist and stress management consultant from St. Marys, has been working with farm families since 1998. He said stress can have a negative impact on a marriage and parenting. "It's important to recognize the career is stressful so you don't blame yourself," Field said. "That only adds more distress." Field said if people put too many demands on themselves, they can't expect to function normally. "It's like loading a five tonne truck with seven tonnes," he said. "You can't expect it to carry that load." He said farm women have a lot of stressors in their lives, partially because of all they roles they play, such as being a wife, mother, busi- ness partner, daughter and sister. Also, if additional income is needed, it is often the women who are expect- ed to find another job and still main- tain duties at home on the farm. Field said he recognizes that as farm businesses grow to remain viable, deci- sions about the opera- tions are not dis- cussed with women. Men often make the decisions and expect their wives will go along with it and do their share of the added work load. "It wasn't talked about," Field said. "It wasn't shared, but you should be thankful, because it's all for you and the future of your family." Field said he didn't want anyone to think he was minimizing the effects of stress on men, who face their own battles, but women are expected to be the nurturers who take care of everyone, often neglecting their own needs. "Women are nurturing by nature," he said. "You're usually more caring for others than for yourselves." He said women are naturally stressed when they see their hus- bands, brothers and fathers getting in over their heads and not being able to do anything about it. "You see them hurting and you see the consequences on your kids, but you lose your influence to make any- thing happen." Field said one thing women tend to do is talk about the stress they are feeling. They are usually more willing to receive help than men. "It is so important to gather and to talk to each other about these things," he said. "Women under stress don't isolate themselves as much as men," he said. "Whatever you do, do it together. It's much healthier. Don't stop talking and laughing with each other. If any- thing, do it more." Field said he has been a family therapist for 20 years and it is often the lament that men don't seek help until they have reached a crisis in their lives. He said husbands often discount the advice of their wives, when that is the person they should be valuing the most. "Set firmer boundaries earlier," he said. "If he's going to leave his boots at the door, throw them in the garbage." Field said sometimes it can be healthy to create conflict in a rela- tionship. "Take a look at what you're tolerat- ing." Field said one of the best ways to help others is to model good stress management by taking care of your- self. Field said you should not hesitate to offer support to someone you think is in trouble. He said you should ask if there's anything you can do to help, listen to their concerns and follow up. "Some people don't want to know they're stressed," he said. "There has to be a degree of persistence. Don't give up caring." But he added if you're working harder on someone's life than they are, you're working too hard. Field said it's important to know the symptoms of stress. Physical signs include headaches, chronic digestive problems, eating irregularities, ear pain, backaches, frequent sickness, exhaustion, sleep disorders. Emotional signs are sadness, depression, bitterness, anger, anxi- ety, loss of spirit, loss of humour. Behavioural signs include irritability and negativity, backbiting, acting out, with- drawal, passive-aggressive behaviour, alcoholism or substance abuse, violence and lethargy. Cognitive signs are a diminished ability to con- centrate, difficulty making decisions, forgetfulness and being easily distracted. Lack of self-esteem and relational problems can also be signs of stress. "Pay attention to the symptoms," he said. "Take a personal inventory on a daily basis." Field said people often respond to stress in a negative way and outlined the following steps for positive stress management: • Know the symptoms. • Develop a stress management plan. • Talk to a good listener. • Stop being concerned about what others think • Breathe. • Decide to stay calm. • Discipline your thinking • Talk to yourself in a positive way. • Focus on what you can do. • Avoid isolating yourself from those who care about you. • Avoid excessive eating, drinking, smoking and drug use. • Exercise. • Ask for help before you need it. • Have faith. The next meeting of HPWSA will take place at the Mitchell Legion March 25. Meteorologist Jay Campbell will be speaking. "Whatever you do, do it together. It's much healthier. Don't stop talking and laughing with each other. If anything, do it more." JOHN FIELD FAMILY THERAPIST AND STRESS MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT Exeter Novice skating team MISSISSAUGA — Fifteen skaters from the Exeter Novice Synchronized Skating team competed at the 2004 Central Regional Festival of Synchronized Skating Competition at the Mississauga Hersey Centre Feb. 14-15. Teams from across Ontario were competing for a spot at the Canadians in Brandon Manitoba or the Ontario Winter Games in London March 11-14. The top six teams at the competition go to Brandon, with the sev- enth to twelfth place teams going to the Winter Games, which the Novice team quali- fied for. The team is skaters from 12 to 17 years old from Zurich, Dashwood, Seaforth, Clinton, Stratford, Grand Bend, Goderich and Exeter. The team is coached by Kathy McLlwain,with assistant coach Melissa Timmermans and team manager Deb Darling. It is the first year for the games to take on synchronized skating as one of the sports. Opening ceremonies are scheduled to begin at 7 p.m. March 11 at the John Labatt Centre. The synchronized skating competition will have two competition skates at Earl Nichols Arena Saturday at 8 p.m. and noon Sunday. It is the experience of a lifetime for these young ladies and memories of such an event will last a lifetime. I'm very excited for all of them and we are working very hard for the next couple of weeks preparing. These skaters have given their dedication and committment and set big goals this year as a team. We are reaching big for a spot on the OWG podium. I am proud of each one of them and each skater adds some- thing of their own to the team. The team is made up of Breanna Anstett, Justine Clarke, Shannon Clarke, Toni Darling, Kami Fevery, Lauren Graf, Kelsey Holtzmann, Heidi Klopp, Olivia Huls, Alyssa Becker, Sarah VanDoornik, Laura Delchairo, Cassie Horley, Sara Hoytema and Megan Hodgson. 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