HomeMy WebLinkAboutZurich Herald, 1947-05-22, Page 2JUT IN FUN
Business With Pleasure
Have you heard the one about
the Scottish doctor who took up
golf and who was told by the club
pro that if his name was stamped
on his golf balls and he lost them,
they would be returned to him if
found?
"Good," said the Scottish medico,
"put my name on this ball." The
pro did so,
"Would you also put M.D. after
my name?", the doctor asked. The
pro complied with the request.
"One thing more," said the Scot.
"Do ye think ye could squeeze
'Hours 10 to 3' on the ball as well?"
A Tiring Experience
The receptionist of the Domestic
Agency was taking down particu-
lars of the would-be maid.
"Have you any preference for
any special kind of family?" she
asked.
"Any kind except the high -brow,"
answered the domestic, "My last
place was with a pair of 'em, and
'im and 'er was always fightin', an'
it kept me runnin' back and for-,
ward from the key -'ole to the dic-
tionary till I felt proper worn out,
so I says never again."
Her Meaning
The teacher was giving the class
a lesson on gardening.
"Now who can tell me what a
herbaceous border means?" she
asked. •
There was a pause, then a small
voice said: "Please, miss, it's a
lodger who doesn't eat meat."
Quick Change
Little girl (at church wedding):
"Did the lady change her mind,
Mommy?"
Mother: "Why, no. Why do you
ask?"
Little girl: "'Cause she went up
the aisle with one man and came
back with another."
STUFF AND THINGS
"You're sure he's got a sense of
humor?"
Naturally
A rnorist; had been haled into
¢otiif and when his name was call-
ed the judge asked what the
charges were against the prisoner.
"Suspicious actions?" queried the
answered the arresting officer,
"Suspiciousi actions?" queried the
judge. "What was he doing that
seemed suspicious?"
"'Well," replied the officer, "he
was running within the speed limit,
sounding his horn properly, keeping
on the right side of the street, and
not trying to beat any of the stop
lights—so, naturally, I arrested
him."
And About Time!
Four-year-old Donald was en-
tranced by the icicles sparkling on
the eaves. The first warm day
when he saw the icicles dripping,
he ran to his mother exclaiming:
'Winter is defrosting!"
"ELIZABETH OF THE AIR"
Not the inside of a tunnel or a Quonset hut, but the interior of the
world's largest landplane is what you see above. Britain's build-
ing it to go after the trans-Atlantic airlane luxury trade.
Bristol, Eng.—Britain is about to
do for the airplanes what she did
for the sealanes with the Queen
Elizabeth. She is readying for
trans-Atlantic air service the
world's largest passenger land
plane, the 126 -ton "Barbazon 1."
Powered by eight giant engines,
the Barbazon will wing its way
from London to New York with
a pay load of 70 to 100 sleeping
passengers on the night run or
120 sitting up on daylight trips.
It will have a crew of 13, including
five stewards.
* *
The Barbazon is being assem-
bled now at the Bristol Aeroplane
plant in suburban Filton. Devel-
opment and production cost $16,-
000,000. The builders hope to have
the plane ready for test flights by
May or June. After that they will
go to work on three more Barba-
zons which British Overseas Air-
ways hopes to have in service by
1950.
Some idea of the new sky giant's
size can be gained by comparison
with the XB -36, the U.S. Army's
giant bomber. Both have a wing-
span of 230 feet. The XB -36 has
only six engines. The Barbazon I
tops all other American 'land
planes. The Army's giant C-74
Globemaster has a wingspan ' of
173 feet. The Douglas DC -6 pas-
senger plane now in service is only
117'/2 feet between wingtips.
Neither a race horse nor a slow
poke, the Barbazon is designed to
cruise at 250 miles an hour at 25,-
000 feet. The 143 -foot cabin will be
pressurized, humidified and air-
conditioned, and will have, as ac-
cessories, a dining saloon, lounge,'.
bar, dressing rooms and a movie
screen.
To build what England is call-
ing her "Elizabeth of the Air"
took 12,000 drawings, 30,000 feet
of sheet metal to cover fuselage
and wings, a million and a half
rivets, 35 miles of wiring.
* * *
It has outgrown the biggest'
aviation workshop in England, in
which ,the wingspan is' limited 'to
the inboard engnes. Fnal assembly
will take place in the world's big-
gest assembly hangar. This hasn't
been built yet, but it will be larger
than London's Houses of• Parlia
nient and will .cost $6,000;000: -'-
To get a runway big enough for.
the plane, Filton Airfield has been
extended to 8250 feet. Engineers
had to demolish a village to get
that much space for the Barbazon's
take -off run, •
A cocoon of scaffolding surrounds England's big new passenger
plane in its construction shed. To get room for its wings to grow to
full size, they're building world's biggest assembly hangar.
GEST THi :r, C 1
THE SCARLET FLAMINGO 145
SEEN STALKING ABOUT IN
FLORIDA /S THE ONLY ONEOF
ITS FAMILY FOUND INAMERICA.
ITS ODD LOOKING BILL iS AS
NATURE PROVIDED FOR IT, A
CONTRIVANCE FOR STRAINING
ITS FOOD, THE LO/ERPARTBE/NG
FITTED NTH HOLES. FOR A
NEST IT USES A TALL MOND
OF MUD WHICH /T SCRAPES
UP, WITH ,4 DEPRESSION IN
THE TOP IN WHICH TO LAY
ONE OR T14,0 EGGS
lT IS SAID THAT ALFALFA ROOTS HAVE MORE NITRATE
PRODUCING PLANTS THAN THERE ARE MANUFACTURING
PLANTS INA CITY THESIZE OF CHICAGO. THE FREE
NITROGEN IS DRAWN FROM THE AIR AND STORED IN
THE PLANT ROOTS CAUSED BY CERTAIN BACTERIA '
THAT fT T KI:SOD00EID 0 GR'AIN rSPROIT DS UCE OOLBS
OF BEEF WHEN USED N/TN HAYOR CORN FODDER BUT
THAT IFAL FAL FA IS FED WITH THE GRAIN THE
A,1,10UNTOFGRAINMAY BE REDiCEDABOUTONEIIALF
IN PRODUCING JAMS' AMOUM' OF BEEF. 1y
Trumpeter Sean
Protected in U.S.
The trumpeter swan, a huge
white bird with a wingspan of eight
feet and often confused with the
snow goose, was thought to be ex-
tinct 40 years ago, But in 1901,
when a small flock was discovered
in the Red Rock Lakes and Yel-
lowstone Park regions, efforts were
made to protect the species by the
Federal overnment. As a result,
their number increased to 73 in
1935. Now there are 361, according
to a count made jointly by the
United States Fish and Wildlife
and the United States National
Park Services. The birds were al-
most exterminated for their breast
skins and down in the late nine-
teenth century,
More- than 1,000,000 separate
hand -made knots of wool may he
found in some 0 -by -12 Oriental
rugs,
Flaxseed Rushed
To Great Britain
There is a prospect of new paint
for British homes and oil cake for
homebred cattle in a cargo of
250,000 pounds of flax seed on
board the Queen Elizabeth, which
has just docked at Southampton,
writes Melita Spraggs• from Lon-
don, England.
Freight trains were waiting dock-,,
side to rush the seed on the last
lap of its 5,000 -mile express jour-
ney from Minneapolis, Minn., to the
flooded fenlands of Great Britain's
East Coast.
500 Tons Allotted
This is part of 500 tons spared
from the meagre flax reserves of
Canada and the United States in
response to Britain's last-minute
appeals. Seen was needed for late
sowing in reclaimed areas to recoup
depleted linseed supplies.
• The February floods meant that
60,000 acres could not be planted
with important crops at the normal
time. Flax can be planted in May
and will ripen quickly.
As the Queen Elizabeth rushed
the seed' across the Atlantic, trac-
tors working day and night exposed
the soggy soil of the Fen district
to fitful rays of the spring sun to
dry it for flax planting.
Priority Cargo
The Queen Elizabeth's ' cargo,
which had priority over one of
jewellery, furs, and other luury
goods, added to two consignments
from Canada, is expected to yield
nearly 500 tons of seed—sufficient •
to plant from 20,009 to 30,000 acres.
Two varieties of flax are grown
as farm crops in Britain. -One gives
a poor yield of linseed and a good
quality flax. The other gives poor
flax but a good linseed yield. It is
this latter type. which the govern-
ment has bought.
Britain has been and still is short
of linseed with which to make paint
and other preservatives. This is one
reason for the shabbiness of houses
and public buildings.
It is hoped to get much-needed
foodstuffs for diminished stocks of
home-bred cattle from crushed seed.
With the extraction of pure oil, it
also is planned to make paint to
give Britons brighter houses,
Now,Wat
Don't be alarmed—it's just a fight scene rehearsal for the film,
"Daybreak," being made at Daventry, England. Scantily clad.
actress Ann Todd watches serenely as Eric Portman makes ready
to slug Maxwell Reed.
Heatless Summer
A new governmeift order went
into effect in Britain banning the
use of gas or electricity for heating
residential, quarters until Sept. 30
and the Use of any kind of fuel to
heat non-residential premises until
Oct. 31.
The order • is designed to save
'2,500,000 tons of coal against
Britain's needs next winter.
VOICE OF THE PRESS
Nice For Teacher
A glue strong enough to bold a
100,000 -pound locomotive has been
it vented. We hope no one ever
sits down on any.
Edmonton Journal
Eckner's Gem
4';'--• The caiticisni of Hitler by Dr.
Hugo Eckner, famous German
designer, builder and flier 'of air-
ships, is a gem of brevity. The
elderly scientist remarked.
"When Hitler came to power he
was 90 per cent 'fool and 10 per
cent criminal, but when he ended
he was 90 per cent criminal and 10
per cent fool,"
—Kitchener Record
. Lusty "Big Three"
The big Ontario revenue produc-
• ers: Gasoline taxes, $$44,000,000;
Corporation taxes, $08,500,000;
liquor taxes $26,400,000. Three
lusty youngsters!
—St. Thomas Times -journal
Hard to Answer
"It takes all kinds of weather to
make a season," observes the.
Stratford Beacon- Herald. All right;
and now that we're having them
all, what season would you call
this? t In printable language,
please!) Ottawa Citizen
Main Reason
Our chief complaint about the
younger generation is that we no
longer belong to it.
Quebec Chronicle -Telegraph
,A► Born Queen
And an Empress
During a •visit to Paris in 1855,
Queen Victoria went to the' Oiiera
in company with the Empress
Eugenia of France. A French spec-
tator, who happened not to be an
admirer of the latter, remarked to
an Englishman seated beside him:
"Did. you notice the difference be;.
tween your Queen and our Empress
when the ladies entered the box?"
"Why:, no," was the reply. 'What
'rims it?"
"The Empress, as she sat down,
looked around to see if there was
chair ready for her. But your
Queen --a born queen—sat clown
without looking, . She knew a chair
must be there."
Spellbound
Other summer insects had better
get chummy with a' spelling bee.
a newly -developed insecticide will
wallop the little imps with.. HEXA-
CHLOROCYCLOHEXANE.
Customers of a certain restaur-
ant in Lansing, Mich., could easily
be spellbound: The proprietor's
name .;•: is" RAPPAVLAHODlMI-
TRAKO 'OTLOUS.
—Pathfinder
Quite A Record
An Iowa woman has been in the
news as 'American Mother of
'47." That beats the Quebec
records, which rarely rise above
18 or 20.
—Peterborough Examiner
Morning Chores
Britain exhibits a "robot valet"
that turns on a heater, boils water,
brews tea, wakes you up and starts
the radio playing' iii the morning.
We refuse to get excited •until it
also puts the dog out and brings
in the morning paper.
—Windsor Star.
Less Housing
For More Money
In the New York City area, as
the Building Trades Employers'
Association reports, bricltlayers get
$17.50 and cement masons $14.70
for a seven -Hour clay; plumbers, as
much as $1.5,75 and steam -fitters
$16.10 for a sevn-hour clay; plas-
terers, $15, and electrical workers
$13.50, both' for a six -hour clay.
Even ordinary labor demands $12
for an eight-hour clay, or $60 for
a forty -hour week.
The scarcity of housing has pro-
vided an enormous backlog of work
for all building labor, but high
- hourly, rates and short days acid
incentive to the quest for labor-
saving materials made for economy.
Golden Doors
Something of a sensation has been
caused in Italy by the disclosure that
the bronze doors of the world-
famous Baptistery at• Florence —
hidden away during the war for
safety — are really made of gold.
They have, been for centuries one
of Italy's great art treasures.
U.K. Fashion Centre
In the men's clothing trade„
United Kingdom styles have tra-
ditionally set the world's fashion
and do so still. United Kingdom
design for women's wear has much
improved in thelast ten years andi
Sir Stafford Cripps' "Working.
Party" for the heavy clothing in-
. dustry recommends a design centre
in London which could make.
Britain the leader in all cldthing,
design and fashion throughout the•
world.
Yon Will Enjoy Slaying At
The St. Regis Hotel
is
vono� To
Every Room With Bath
Shower and Telephone
Single, 55.50 op—
Double, $3.50 up
Good Food, Dining and Danc-
ing Nightly.
Sherbonrne at Carlton..
Tel. RA. 4135
I!
ROOMS REAUTIFULL3
FURNISHER $1.50 up
HOTEL METROPOLE
NIAGARA FALLS
OPP. — C.N.R, STATION
"Gin` Pills Helped
my Sore Back
says Montreal man.
"I bad rheumatic aches and stiff
back—could hardly straighten up
after bending. A friend advised
Gin Pills ... now I'm ever so
much better". —Ll?., .Mo ntreah
For more than 40 years Gin Pills
have broughtrelief to victims of
Rheumatic Pain, Backache, Sciatica,
Lumbago.Get a package today. Use
proves their merit.
Regular else, 40 Pills
Economy size, 80 Pills
(hi the U.S.A. ask for Gino Pills)
National Drug &Chemical
Company of Canada ,Limited
POP—The Sluggers
DLIT Y01.1 WILL Fie FORE
t
t .air:, -,1-,••-•.•,,,-1,4„ 1isn.4, -,n teeJ �+—
BY J. MILLAR WATT
1