Loading...
HomeMy WebLinkAboutZurich Herald, 1947-04-10, Page 6JUST IN° Irony A woman got on a bus and tut the only empty seat, next to .1 harmless -looking reveller. Soon she opened a map of Manchuria and began to study it. The reveller gazed at the map for a while and finally addressed the woman in an interested tone: "Sure you're on the right bus?" he asked. A lady who had ordered ice from a new ice man heard the familiar ring of the dumb waiter the next morning. She seized the rope and began to pull but found the effort unusually taxing. Nevertheless, thinking the ice man had gone, she bent all her energies to the task and pulled away until the dumb waiter rose to the 'kitchen level. Then there appeared not only the cake of ice, but a small boy sitting on top of it. "Young man," demanded the housewife, "why did you make me pull you all the way up here?" "Because," explained the young- ster with a smile, "I thought the ice might be too heavy for you to get into the icebox, and I came up to help you with its" Both. in the Eye "Last week a grain of sand got into my wife's eye and she had to go to the doctor. It cost me $5." "That's nothing. Last week a fur coat got into my wife's eye and it cost me $500." Ont the Waiting List "I can't promise you anything," said the automobile salesman to the disgruntled customer, who slammed the door on the way out. "What did he want?" asked the dealer. "Oh, he wanted to know if he couldn't turn in the 19.46 model which he hasn't received, for a 1947 model." Pasted Together . Mother had baked a two -layer take for Daddy's birthday. Aged - Three, telling a neighbor about it, said: "We have two cakes for Daddy and we are going to paste them together with icing." You Never Can Tell You never can tell when you're likely to have a change in luck. Sometimes it comes at the most unexpected moment, Like the prim school teacher who was making a trip with a group of children and stopped for lunch at a restaurant. The children noticed a garish slot machine in the restaurant and ask- ed what it was. The teacher launched into a lecture on the evils of gambling. In order to emphasize the futility of trying to get something for nothing, she said she'd show the children what she meant. She marched over to the slot machine inserted a nickel, said "Now, watch what happens," pull- ed the handle, and out poured a flood of nickels. She had hit the jackpot! Not Too Old To Learn A. group of elderly women were discussing ways and means of raising funds for their church or- ganization. One suggested organ- izing a class in glove making. "Do you really think that's neces- sary at our age?" asked an old lady in the rear. "What—glove making?" asked the other. "Oh, I thought, you said love making." Ford's Answer A favorite story about Henry Ford is the one told on the occa- sion of the Fords' fiftieth wedding anniversary, when a reporter asked: "Mr. Ford, to what do you attribute your successful marriage?" The kindly automobile man an- swered: "The formula is the same as one used to make a successful car—stick to the same model." Self -Appreciation "Just listen to that man talking to himself," commented the wife to her husband. An elderly man, walking in front of them, was talking to himself in a very serious and admonishing tone. Apparently he overheard. the remark for he slowed down and lifting hat, bowed deeply and with twinkling light in his eyes said: "Pardon me, madam, but it is necessary to talk to some- one sensible sometimes." HOLD EVERYTHING "Mother spends all her time wan. dering through the stores , . , so she decided to make it pay I" PATROLMEN OF BAVARIA'S MOUNTAIN WATCH RESCUE INJURED SKIER High in Bavaria's rugged alpine mountains, a three-man Mountain Watch team comes to the aid of a ski accident victim. First aid already has been administered, and the injured man is being lifted into a toboggan for the trip down the mountain. Many of -these ski patrolmen served in the German moun- tain troops during the war; the U.S. Army has carefully screened them to snake sure they had no Nazi connections other than military service they could not avoid. By DORA JANE HAMBLIN American Red Cross Representative Garmisch, G e r m a n y— They sweep down from snowy heights at breakneck speed; they leap yawn- ing crevices with uncanny skill. In their veins, so they say, flows the blood of mountain goats; on their chests gleams edelweiss, the flower of Bavaria. These are the men of the Berg: wacht, world's greatest mountain - safety organization. Bergwacht means "Mountain Watch." Members of this fabulous group, who jest among themselves about the renewed strength they receive from goat's blood, have saved the lives of 116 Americans since V -E. Day. Some 348 of them toiled for 464 hours, at great personal danger, to save those lives. Others put in a total of 168 hours to bring back bodies of 11 Americans killed while climbing, hunting, or skiing in the Bavarian Alps. The great influx of sports -loving Americans and the release of the Germans from the regimented life of wartime has made the months since V -E Day the busiest on record for the Mountain ',Wa!;ch, Since then, its men have rescued 1555 persons, and have recovered the bodies of 57 casualties. Be- cause most deaths are due to falls into almost inaccessible places, it is not uncommon for 27 to 30 Bergwacht men to spend three to five days on a recovery mission. An all -volunteer group organized in 1920 and sponsored by the Ba- varian Red Cross, the Bergwacht is made up of the mountain coun- try's best men. They may be asked to join or they may apply and wait to be accepted, but in either case any sturdy, experienced Bavarian skier and mountain climber con- siders the Mountain Watch a top honor, . A Bergwacht man gets no pay; he must attend special, school twice a year; he goes out day or night, into blinding sun or raging storms, to find and save anyone who needs help. If he is a barber and a call for help comes while he's shaving his Typical member of Bavaria's famed Mountain Watch is Carl Reger, 23, who was born and raised in the mountains and has been in the Bergwacht for eight years. On his left breast pocket he wears the red and white badge imprinted with the edelweiss, flower of Bavaria, the red cross, and the inscription "Bergwacht:' best customer, he puts down the razor and answers the call like an American volunteer fireman. Testimony to his skill is that in the 26 years of some of the most dangerous work in the world, no member of the organization ever has been killed on duty. Though the chief factor in a man's selection for the Bergwacht is his mountain experience, intensive training in first aid is vital to his •success. Reaching an injured victim is only the first part of the job, for ' often a life hangs on the skill of men trained in emergency first aid practices. Since war's end, all Berg- wacht men have received training in American Red Cross first aid techniques. A small group of Bergwacht men has been hired by the U.S. Army for full-time work at Army resort areas. These men serve as instruct- ors and safety supervisors around the trails and ski slopes, aided on weekends by o t h e r, volunteer, Bergwacht men. Before the war most men of the mountain watch were in their twen- ties or thirties; now the ages range from 16 to 65. Once a man puts on the edelweiss pin of the Mountain Watch he is qualified to wear it as long as he can do his job. We,, cher Flights Over North Pole Army B-29 Superfortresses have begun weather flights over the North Pole and will make daily flights over the Pole, beginning in May. Brig. -Gen. Donald M. Yates, chief of the Army Air Forces Weather Service, flew on the first flight last week. He said this was the . start of routine A.A.F. weather reporting from the very top of the world. Yates said that from now until May, weather -equipped B -29's will fly periodically from California to Ladd field, Fairbanks, Alaska,, then fly north over Point Barrow, circle over the Pole and return to Cali- fornia by way of Alaska. Beginning in May, he said, the squadron of converted .super -bom- bers will move to Alaska'and begin daily flights over the Pole from a base there. On the first flight, Yates said, the B-29 was in the air 16 hours and 30 mintes. 'As it flew over the Pole, an uncoded message was sent out giving weather conditions. Weathermen say most U.S. wea- ther originates in the North Polar area. No "Amber" Light; Accidents reduced As a road safety measure, the experiment was made in Glasgow some time ago of cutting out the amber light on the change from red to green in the automatic traffic signals. The experiment has been so suc- cessful that the Highways and Planning Committee of the Town Council have decided to recom- mend to the Ministry of Transport its general• use throughout the country. The Glasgow experiment, car- ried out during the past six months at a number of the busiest cross- ings'in the city, has been success- ful in reducing the number of road accidents An Experiment With Mayonnaise Occasionally, during summer days in the country, far from shops, we run short of some food commodity., in spite of careful plan- ning; When faced with such a plight, we are apt to resort to ex- periments, One such that proved most successful was the extending of a small quantity of mayonnaise with the white of an egg. We beat the latter until stiff and then whipped it gradually into the may- onnaise. The result was a suffic- ient quantity of delicious, fluffy dressing which saved the day for our luncheon salad, VOICE OF .THE PRESS Will Help Our Stories One pleasing feature about the recent storm is that we will be able to tell our grandchildren. 20• or 30 years hence about the good old fashioned winters we used ztY have. —Owen Sound Sun -Times, Works Faster Here An exchange tells that in Turkes- tan professional women weepers will cry for six hours straight. More accomplished women y`and" softer hearted men have cut the necessary ,time in this country tp„ a minute or so. —Port Arthur Nev ,Chronicle. A Sure Sign'' 3" A person may know that Old age has marked him for its own when he begins to notice how much his associates have aged in the past few years. —hitchener Record. Advance Agents Those .early robins are now be- lieved to be advance agents sent in to look over the spring housing situation. —St. Thomas Times -Journal. Style Note A magician has been in the news for getting out of a locked safe in 30 seconds. We'd like to see kiwi,• get out of the back seat of some' of the new car models in double that time. —Peterborough Examiner. Professionalized Everybody's becoming a profes- sional these days. Over in the United States they're even issuing degrees of janitorial engineering to caretakers of buildings. And • we understand sonic of the panhand- lers are insisting on being called professional coin collectors. —St. Thomas Times -Journal. Not Guilty We're convinced that Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone —but never contemplated the party line, —Stratford Beacon -Herald. Or Something Else Safety experts say the kitchen is the most dangerous room in the house. And particularly so in the vicinity of the sink, where a domes- ticated husband is apt to develop a bad attack of dishpan hands, or dropping a Spode plate. —Ottawa Citizen. A Bare Fact Only a few months ago the gals were tinting their bare legs to simu- late stockings, Nylons being made in the U.S. are said to be so sheer that they are virtually invisible, The trade name for them is "Nude." —Fort Erie Times -Review. Weak Link One of the great trouble -making factors in a democracy is the readi- ness of the average individual to exercise his right to believe any- thing that he has never heard be- fore. —lion ureal Finan cial Times. Wide Camouflage The Germans held property in Canada, which officials of the Cana- dian Government had no idea about until papers and records were found when Germany was invaded. The art of camouflage was never limited to war zones or bomb targets. —St. Catharines Standard, Masterpiece of Absurdity The Russians have barred the Salvation Army from their part of occupied Germany on the ground that "the Armae' is a quasi -military body. Absurdity, aided by Joe Stalin and pals, has achieved what looks like its masterpiece. —Brantford Expositor. Nothing Owing There is no Communist who does not render a higher loyalty to an- ther country, and in support of it he is ready to destroy this one. Canada owes him nothing, and surely decent labor unions should declare themselves similarly free of such a debt. —Windsor Star. Methodist Millions "It is the greatest gain in any church in any year in the history of this country." Thus Bishop G. Bromley Oxnam of New York greeted the March 4 announcement of the Methodist Council of Bishops that the Methodist Church had won 1;021,210 new • members in the United States during 1946, topping . its "Year of Evangelism" goal of 1,000,000 converts. Of the new Methodists, 540,265 joined by con- fession of faith and 490,945 trans- ferred from other faiths and denominations, The United States membership is now close , to 9,000,000.—Newsweek. Royal Yacht Refired Britain's 4,700 -ton royal yacht, the Victoria and Albert, which was built in 1809 .and has been used on many state occasions, is to retire from active service. The yacht, which is no longer regarded as seaworthy, will in the future be used for residential pur-• poses by the king and queen when they visit Portsmouth, where the yacht now lies. HEMO 2 Special Remedies by the Makers of Mecca Ointment Mecca Pile Remedy No. 1 is for Protrudint Bleeding Riles, and is sold in Tube, with pipe, 'or internal application. Price 76a. Mecca Pile Remedy No. 2 is for External Itching Piles. Sold :n Jar, and is for external use only. Price 60e. 7rder by number from your Druggist. Although there are 2576 of these sturdy climbers, organized roughly ii.to units in 64 towns and villages in the Bavarian Alps, when the phone rings for help, they go out as teams, two Wien on a routine patrol, four on a search, eight or more on a difficult recovery. In summer, when there is no snow In the lower reaches of the mountains to facilitate movement, eight to ten men constitute a rescue or recovery team. Mountain folk say the Bergwacht men can go anywhere a mountain goat can. V6 E C w r1' est-® Many people never seem to get a good night's rest. They turn and toss—blame it on 'nerves'—when it may be their kidneys. Healthy kidneys filter poisons and excess acids from the blood. If they fail and impurities stay in the system—disturbed rest often follows. If you don't rest well get and use Dodd's Kidney Pills. Dodd's help the kidneys so that you can rest better—and feel better. 134 You can't feel your best if your kidneys aren't working normally: Gin Pills help give relief from Backache, Rheumatic Pain and other symptoms of sluggish kid- neys. Your druggist sells Gin Pills on a satisfaction -or -money -back basis. Get a . package today—use proves their merit. Regular size, 40 Pills Economy_size, 80 Pills (In the U.S.4. ask for Gino Pills) GIRLS! WOMEN! TRY NERVO,S, CR On 'CERTAIN DAYS' of The Month! Do. female functional monthly disturbances make you feel ner- vous, fidgety, cranky, so tired and "dragged out"—at such times? Then do try Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound to relieve such symptoms.This fine medicine is very effective for this purpose! For over 70 years thousands of girls and women have reported benefit. Just see if you, too, don't report excellent results! Worth trying. r VEGETA t LE;: -19t COMPOD POP—On`$-Way Traffic SWAT or, Y01.1 WANT TWO LADDERS BY J. MILLAR WATT