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Zurich Herald, 1947-03-27, Page 2U ST IN FUN Real Funny ' Re was telling her his family history. "My grandfather was a Poor, hard-working clockmaker. When he died he left his estate, which consisted of two hundred clocks, to my father," "How interesting," she said. "It must have been real fun wind- ing up his estate." Woman A woman may put on a riding habit and never .go riding. She may doll up in a skiing out- fit and never go skiing. We have seen women don swim- ming outfits and never go swim- ming. But when a woman puts on a wedding gown—she means busi- ness. "Mrs. McGillicuddy! Are you hav- ing an affair with the superinten- dent?" Let's Be Explicit The couple were on one of those three-week cruises to the Welt Indies. While the wife was enjoy- ing herself to the utmost, her hus- band was most unhappy. An ob- serving fellow passenger comment- ed: "Your husband appears to be a poor sailor." To which the wife frigidly replied: "My husband hap- pens to be in the real estate busi- ness." . Protection "According to the evidence of the witnesses you were caught just as you were getting out of the window with the contents of the till in your pocket. Now, what excuse have you got?" and the judge leaned back in his chair very complacently. "I knew it," answered the pris- oner, "and I shall always be grate- ful to the men who caught me. When I have these somnambulistic fits I ani- in danger of falling din of windows and hurting myself." "That idea never occurred to me," remarked the judge pensive- ly. "It has occurred to me,"- remark- ed the prisoner with unconscious humor. "That being the case I will dir- ect a warder—" "To release me?" "No, but to see that an extra bar is put across your cell window for fear you may fall out." Sidewalk Scene It was one of those exasperat- ing sidewalk situations when a man and' a woman, coming in, op- posite directions, jockeyed to the right, then to the left, together, in an awkward effort to pass each other. When the snarl was finally unraveled the man politely tipped his hat and said: ,"Well, good -by. It's knowing you." been Prize Rookie fun Lee Carey, 17, U. of Arizona freshman, is the Cleveland In- di rrs' prize rookie of 1947. He plays c:utfkld; and was given the hi"phect banns for signing ever pt id by Cleveland, reportedly $15,000, He'll continue his col- lege work and play ball the rest t„ the time.11e's 5-11, weighs 175. An glishytyoman i t r he J nee By Enid Fernandes Miss Enid Fernandes, a British Red Cross worker, spent a year travelling in Malaya tak- ing aid to the sick. After a short leave in England she re- turned to take the post of State Rural Welfare Officer in Pahang. Writing as she was. about to go back, she relates some of her experiences. My leave in England is drawing to an end and within a few weeks I hope to be back in Malaya, to take up work in Pahang as State Rural Welfare Officer under the Social Welfare Department of the Government of the Malayan Union, I am eager to be back, for there is still a good deal of sickness aiinong the people who live deep in the Malayan jungles, and after a year's work among them I feel I have gained their confidence. I know I have learned to love and respect them. I arrived in Singapore from England on September 6th, 1945, when the Japanese were still in the town and as I walked down hot country roads I saw many hundreds of displaced Malayans, Javanese, Chinese and Indians, most of whom were starving and ill. The British Military Admini- stration was already working won- ders for the relief of these unfor- tunates and gradually they were collected into improvised camps where, for several weeks, I helped to look after the sick. made a garment for each of them and they were touchingly grateful. On many occasions I penetrated into the jungle to visit remote ham- lets, some of which were reached either on foot, with the headman of the area or a relative of the sick leading the way, or in a small native boat on one of the winding rivers. On these occasions my im- • pending arrival would be announced to the surrounding country by the beating of a drum. The Malays told me I was the first white wo- man to enter some of these settle- ments, and certainly I was an ob- ject of considerable curiosity to the children, Hazardous Journeys During the monsoon period these journeys were particularly hazard- ous—or at least they felt so to me when crossing crocodile -infested rivers on long, thin palm trees, or swinging by my hands over pieces of damaged bridges with medical supplies slug around me. I think one of my worst moments came one day when the Malay leading my column stopped in the middle. of crossing a river on an attenuated. felled tree to enquire how I was getting on. His bare feet were curled' nicely round the trunk, but my leather shoes slipped danger- ously. Had he not responded to my cry of "Hurry" I should have fallen in: After this experience 1 diseased my shoes and' took to flexible sandals. Embarrassing Faith At the end of November 19.15, I was asked by the Director of Medical Services, British Military Administration, Malaya, to go to Kuantan on the East Coast of Pa- hang to undertake welfare work in that area. Barbara Lomas, a Brit- ish Red Cross trained nurse who could speak Cantonese and Man- darin; went with me and took charge of the hospital in Kuantan which was overflowing with suf- ferers. The District Officer, him- self a Malay, asked me to try and ease the distriess among the sick and needy in the surrounding villages, the neglected rubber est- ates and the jungle hamlets. I fixed up a British Red Cross 15 - cwt. truck as a travelling dispen- sary and the Hospital lent me a Tamil dresser and a Tamil attend- ant, and we set out. The monsoon was at its height and we worked under considerable •difficulties, but by the end of three months ., we • had ;al weekly, program covering 20kampongs, seven rubber estates and several isolated settle- ments, and had dealt with thous- ands of sick people with very marked success. Indeed, I was much embarassed by a widely spread rumour that "Missie" could cure illness and pain in three minutes. - "Go to Missie she will cure you", they told each other and people who had been blind and crippled from birth were carried to me in baskets. But all I could do -was to give them aspirin and treat- ment for theire tropical ulcers, sores, skin diseases and other ailments. I had a small tent made and fixed to the side of my truck in which I tackled their skin diseases; in this I scrubbed the bodies—before applying healing lotions—of hun- dreds of Malays, Javanese and Tamils and a few Chinese and Sakais who had wandered into the camp. Awkward Situations Averted At first the idea of being per- sonals scrubbed by "Missie" was greeted with considerable appre- hension, but I explained that this was necessary before applying the lotions sent to me by the State Health and Medical Officer. (Those lotions were extraordinarily effec- tive, by the way, disinfecting and healing at the same time.) The shyness quickly wore off -and with- in a very short time whole families would arrive and ask for treatment and what might have been an awk- ward situation passed off with con- siderable humour. On several occasions 1 came across very sick people lying in their houses with maggots dropping from their sores and ants actually streaming in and out of holes in their limbs. One of these cases was a poor old man in an isolated village. The ants had eaten two large holes in his leg, and when I arrived he was semi-conscious; I attended to him and with the help of two young men we slung him in a kind of hammock attached to a bamboo pole and carried him to my car. When I left for my leave he had been in hospital for 3% months, but his wounds were almost healed and he was in very good spirits. Deep in the Jungle It was not only sickness I had to deal with; there was also apall- ing poverty and need. One day when I had was visiting a village I was told of a family who wished to come and see me but could not because they possessed only one garment between them and that was being worn by the man --the head of the family. When I went to their home they covered them- selves with their floor ntata; I V E 0 11113 PM ES Originality Wanes Perhaps it is a sign of decadence, -but some of the women's Spring hats now on display actually look something like hats, —Windsor Star Reason to be Careful Autos killed•, 33,000 people in the United States in 1040. That's ex- actly 33,000 reasons for dr'ving carefully. —Saskatoon Star -Phoenix Too Much Laziness Work has never been so un- popular as it is today. It's be- ginning to appear that the human race will soon have to learn to live without working or it will perish from the face of the earth. —Kitchener Record Thounds Thillyt Hear about the young couple who played kith and kin every evening?. He said: "Can I kith you?" And she said: "Yeti), you kin." —St. Thomas Times -Journal Still Best System With all its faults, democracy is the only political system under which people can get rid of Gov- ernments of which they disapprove in a peaceful and orderly manner.. —Kingston Whig -Standard Another In Error In Montreal a business manager gave a 15 -year-old boy $12,000 to take to a bank for deposit. The boy got on a train, but was taken off with the money he had planned to spend somewhere somehow. Whatever lie was guilty of, he was not the only one at fault in this ease. —Port Arthur News Chronicle. Peace Motive Perhaps we need a better motive for peace than fear of war. —Vancouver Province And Now? In the old war days our only enemies were our enemies. —Quebec Chronicle -Telegraph In Other Words President Truman told Congress that the main threat to a high volume of housing is "the high level of current housing prices rel- ative to the volume of consumer income." He meant housei cost too much. —Grit Education • Education is not learning; it is the exercise and development of the powers of the mind;- and the two great methods by which this end may be accomplished are in the halls of learning or in the con- flicts of life. —Princeton Review Future of Island Bases in Pacific By implications if not by direct word, the United States has indi- cated Pacific islands she now holds will be turned over to United Nations trusteeship as soon as that' organization sets up effective world security machinery. It is well understood these islands wiill be retained only so longthey are necessary to American, and therefore Pacific, defence plans. These islands are weapons of Am- erican security every bit as much as the atomic bomb. It would be insanity to surrender either the A- bomb or the islands to the care of the United Nations without iron- clad assurance their use will be saf egu arded. in a diffq -or Money Becl!l' For Quick relief from itching caused -by eczemas athlete's foot, scabies, tamples and other itchl conditions use pure, cooling, medicated, liqui O, D. D. PRESCRIPTION. Greaseless an stainless.. Soothes, comforts and quickly cal intense Itching. Don't suffer. Ask your drug(S today for D. D. D. p19ESCIUPTION. , ,s Remember the story of the monkey who tried to withdraw a fistful of nuts through the narrow neck of ajar? Because he wasn't content with getting one lusqious nut at a time, he ended up by getting. nothing. instead of something. That story is worth remembering today. Greedy grabbing of goods still in short supply can have the same result— nothing instead of something. Inflated prices, like the inflated paw of the monkey, can as surely prevent each of us from getting his fair share of available goods. Canadians have had the wisdom to be content with a moderate "something," knowing that as production increases that "something" will grow larger and larger. This is good sense, and is founded on the principle that MODERATION is the key to CONTINUED ENJOYMENT, a principle to which the House of Seagram has always subscribed. Or'0cc'reAC off°Owe,o iota" THE Il giveccce oe*rafafa Oa*/ [SE OF SEAiU- - AR Mentamonnizobnamatmemutrn !.A I POP—Fish Story you'me oxrcHlN lu LEND/ CO Ff-S1-1/ MY e^RIGNP g Aitst "see Trle BY J. 1VIILLAR WATT WANT is A r'Alt2, OF oorS1, , Q T