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Home My WebLink AboutZurich Herald, 1946-09-26, Page 3JUST IN FUN 11 Speed In au American shipyard noted for its hustle and speed the stage was act for the launching cere- tilony. The distinguished guest, holding the traditional bottle of cham- pagne, exclaimed in some bewilder- meat, "But, there's no ship." Replied the foreman; "Start swinging that bottle, lady. There will be." A Long Time "I like that dress you're wear- ing.. "I got it for my twentieth birth- day." FMGA "Really! It has worn well, hasn't it?" Smart Husband: "Come back for some- thing you've forgotten, as usual?" Wife (brightly) : "No, I've come back for something I've remem- bered." Reasonable Mistress: "Why don't you keep the baby quiet, Kate?" Kate: "I can't keep him quiet, Ma'am, unless I let him make a noise." THE SPORTING THING "That one's got me worried." Don't Boast A Scots girl obtained a situation M the South. One day her mistress asked her what particular part of Scotland slie carne from. "1 conae from near Aberdeen," was the reply. "Oh," said her mistress. "I'm sorry you didn't tell me so before. I had some friends staying there, and I would have asked you if you knew thein.",, like this," retorted the girl: 'when I was leaving home my mother said, 'Dinna boast.'" More Important In answer to her advertisement for a cook, the housewife received only one reply. "I suppose I needn't bother ask- ing for references, John?" she asked, discussing the matter with her husband. "No, my dear," said John, "just ask her to submit samples." THE SPORTING THING 'So! Bea drinkin' black coffee again!" He Knew Smith assured his wife that he could repair the broken window. So he took careful measurements and went to buy the glass—and to ask the dealer how to put it in. "It's quite easy," was the reply. "Just remove the broken bits, fit in the new glassi put the putty around, and there you are!" lin a short time Smith was back again. The shopman gretted hien with: "Same size again, 1 suppose?" Tough "Two days without food or water," announced the Commando to an admiring audience in the kcal; "think of that." "Pretty bad," agreed a middle- aged man; "but how would you like to have fought in the trenches in Flanders? Sometimes we were up to the waist in icy water and mud for a week or more." "Call yourselves soldiers?" snort - td a very, very old man who had hobbled to the bar. "Pah ! When I was in the Zulu war, a spear knocked me down and pinned me to the ground. I couldn't move, and E lay there for over a week without food or drink," "By rove!" exclaimed the Com- mando hero. "It must have been very painful." "Not very," answered the old tltsi; "only when Z laughed." TABLE TALKS Vegetable Dishes Egg Plant Creole 1 medium egg plant Boiling salted water 3 tablespoons mild -flavoured fat 1 small green pepper, chopped 1 small onion, chopped 8 tablespoons flour X teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon brown sugar 8 large tomatoes (peeled and chopped) OR 2 cups canned tomatoes bay leaf, crushed teaspoon cloves Y cup bread crumbs 1 tablespoon buttter OR 8 tablespoons grated cheese Peel and dice egg plant. Cook for 10 minutes in a little boiling, salted water. Drain. Place in greas- ed baking dish. Melt fat, add green pepper and onion and saute 2 min- utes. Add flour, salt and sugar, blend well. Add tomatoes, crushed bay leaf and cloves, and continue cooking 5 minutes. Pour the tomato sauce over egg plant and top with bread crumbs which have been combined with the butter or grated cheese. Bake in moderate over, 350 deg. F, for 20 minutes, Six servings. Apple and Squash Casserole 2% cups diced, cooked squash cups sliced sour apples / cup brown sugar 2 strips side bacon, diced 1 teaspoon salt Arrange half the squash in greas- ed casserole. Cover • with half tht apples. Sprinkle with half the sugar and salt and add half the bacon. Repeat with remaining ingredients. Cover and bake in moderately slow oven, 325 deg. F, for 80 minutes. Uncover and bake until apples are soft and top is browned, about 15 minutes longer. Potatoes in Green Peppers 3 large green peppers 2 tablespoons fat 2 tablespoons flour cup milk teaspoon salt dash of pepper 1 cup grated cheese 3 cups, diced cooked potatoes Wash peppers, cut in half length- wise and remove seeds. Parboil, un- covered, in salted water until ten- der but not soft. Drain. il.elt fat, add flour and blend well. Add milk, stirring constantly until mixture thickens. Add salt, pepper and cheese. Stir until cheese is melted. Add putatoes and heat over low heat until hot. Serve in green pep- per cases. Six servings. Many people do not like Jerusa- lem Artichokes because they don't know how to cook thein. The artichokes (Jerusalem) should be parer and dropped in cold acidu- lated water, that is water (t quart) to which 1 teaspoon of lemon juice or vinegar has been added. This will prevent the artichokes from discolouring. After being drained they are cooked like other vege- tables in a small amount of boiling salted water, until tender. then served with a cream sauce or sea- soned with salt, pepper, butter and chopped parsley 1 VOICE OF THE PRESS y. Nearly Fell Over The fellow who used to get 75c and his dinner for planting corn all day was taken a little aback when a grocer the other day offered him half a dozen roasting ears forthe same figure. — Christian Science Monitor. Sucker Trap Why put in jail, if he is caught, an imaginative guy like that chap reported to be selling atomic bomb stock around the country? Why not examine the dopes who buy the stock? — St. Catharines Standard. Delicious Proof There are worse places to live in than Canada. Here we pay 25 cents for a high-grade brick of ice cream. In New York the same thing costs $1. —St. Thomas Times -Journal. To Be Heard From As the specifications for a new jet-propelled motor car lists its top speed at 130 m.p.h. and make no mention of brakes, we assume it has an extra -loud horn. —Chicago Daily News. Futility By the way, have you noticed how much it helps to blow your horn in a traffic jam? Of have you? —Christian Science Monitor. New Housing Slogan The U,S. Army is selling gliders at $75. They are packed in crates for delivery and the lumber in the crates is worth from $270 to $700. Buy a glider and build a home, should be a slogan over there. . —St. Catharines Standard. Universal Language "The world needs a universal language," asserts a writer. But, mister, the world already has a universal language. It's one spoken when money talks. —Kitchener Record. You Will Enjoy Staying At The St. Regis Hotel TORONTO • Every Boon. With limb Shower and Telephone q Single, $;2.50 un— Double, $3.50 up • Good Food Dining and Danc- ing Nightly Sherbou,ni at Carlton Ter. R.A. 4135 saignrsallniaMeMeSallinalatilengenelMignegatar ROOMS BEAUTIFULLY FoTBNrsIu l) $1.50 up HOTEL METROPOLE. NIAGARA FALLS OP'P. — C.N.R. STATION Restful Runaway Alongside planes that try to bore through mountains, and trains that try to pass on a single track, the old-fashioned runaway horse was positively restful. —Edmonton Journal. Distance During the past twenty-five years the world has had to revise its ideas about distance. War and destruction may now travel from one country to another in less than an hour, as we very well know. But exchange of information and opin- ion can be carried on ,just as quick- ly. —Peterborough Examiner. The Better Way The best way to raise the stan- dard of living in this country and provide for the welfare of the chil- dren is to so order the national economy that there may be steady jobs at decent wages for all. There- after, in. the cases in which, for any reason; parents are unable to look after their children, specific and effective;, assistance could be given. —Brantford Expositor. Vermont Marvel The main interest of a city lad who is spending a part of the sum- mer on his grandparents' farm in Vermont is a brand-new calf, He wrote his father and mother last week that he, wished they were there to watch it grow. "It's get- ting bigger every day," he said, and then, as if despaired of con- veying any sense of the solemn wonder of it all, he added, "Some- times twice a day." —The New Yorker. A Mess, Anyway Canadian mines say they need 100,000 men, and we are told at the same time that construction, so vital now, is being held up by lack of workers. Meanwhile we have 50,000 men idle through strikes. Truly this country seems to be doing its best—or worst to throw away its birthright. —Ottawa Journal. When your BACK ACHES.. Backache is often caused by lazy kidney action. When kidneys get out of order excess acids and poisons remain in the systems. Then backache, headache, rheumatic pain, dis- turbed rest or that 'tired out' feeling may soon follow. To help keep your kidneys working properly—use Dodd's Kidney Pills. Time-tested,popular, aafe, non -habit-form- ing. Demand Dodd's Kidney Pills, in the blue boa with the red band. Sold erervwhere. 13s NEW LOW PRICES 12 tablets ...1& 24 tablets, ..29a 100 tablets .. t9e GENUINE ASPIRIN 15 MARKED THIS WAY uB HOLT? EVERYTHING tOpR,,,45 BY 116.kovi E,'INe. f, f:t; R "This was the captain's quar- ters—so wipe your feet before you come in!" 2 Special Remedies by the Makers of Wieeca Ointment /Awes Pile Remedy No. 1 is for Protruding Bleeding Piles, and is sold in Tube, with pipe, :or internal application. Price 75c. Mecca Pile Remedy No. 2 is for External Itching Piles. Sold n Jar, and is for external use only. Price 50a Order by number from your Druggist. C Oa S }k;n%% �fl/f ®ITi�iYFIIs should try this eery effective medicine to relieve pain and tired, nervous, cranky feelings, of such days — when due to female functional monthly disturbances. Worth trying! £WWW ILMS COMPOUND HOW TO RELIEVE PILE TORTURE QUICKLY AND EASILY If you are troubled with itching piles or rectal soreness do not delay treatment and run the risk of letting this condition become chronic. Any itching or soreness or painful passage of stool is nature's warning and proper treatment should be secured at once. For this purpose get a package of Hero= Reid from any druggist and use as directed: This formula which is used internally is a small, easy to take tablet, will quickly relieve the itching and soreness and aid in healing the sore tender spots. Hem-Roid is pleasant to use, is highly recommended and it seems the height of folly for any one to risk a painful and chronicile condition when such a fine remedy may be had at such a small cost. If you try Hem -Bold and are not entirely pleased with the results, your druggist wiB gladly return your money. D'J'EVER? WON'T 41EY,CUT IT \\ TtP A UT, -s' �^ -� '47r O YOU'LcoIL. TIP THE 130AT YOU'LL HAVE US ALL IN THE WATER IF You DON'T WATCH 00T D'J'EVER LAUGH AT THE NERVOUS FELLOW WH4 TELLS YOU ITS DANGE2OUS TO STAND UP INA ROW-&oAT..- AND YOU NONCHALANTLY STEP OVER ONE OP THE SEATS TO CAST YOUR LINE OVERBOARO... BUT SURE ENOUGH YOU TRIP AND CO HEAD FIRST INTO THE LARE DAW E S IAC O'J'EVER PtauRe. THAT SAI=ETY FIRST 1$ GOOD BUSINESS 7) 6 -laud BREWERY POP—Lllninjstakable (Rcleaoed by 'rhe Pell CysB:cat,, lat.) W HAT PO YOU 'WANT 9 I WANT SOME LITTLE HOLES, SAWED OFF SHORT WITH WRINKLES tit tZOUND THE INSIDE. By J. MILLAR WATT NUTS ! 5 AAAJAAAAAAAA