HomeMy WebLinkAboutZurich Herald, 1946-04-11, Page 7Voice of the Press 11
Commonwealth Force
R1r. Bracken's argument is that
stow, as ..ever before, Canada must
stand firmly at Britain's side. The
three great powers in the world
today are not Great Britain, the
United Stt.tes and' the Soviet Un-
ion, but the British Common-
.ealth, the United States and the.
Soviet Union. And while the
Commo wealth stands as one, it
remains, as ever, a mighty force
for peace and order in an explo-
sive world.
—Montreal Star.
Nutty as Fruit Cake
"'High prices have a habit of
making young men prune their
dates."—Kitchener Record. "On
the contrary, many a chap finds
that he has dated a prune, and
aloesn't give a fig for her."—Tor-
onto Star. "But any of them would
reach for a peach, as long as she
wasn't wearing a pink veil."—Pet-
erborough Examiner. This thing
is already pretty corny, but we'd
like to add that the peach under
the pink veil is a lemon that has
lately been getting the raspberry.
—Ottawa Citizen.
Poor Eating
The Financial Post, which likes
to indulge in statistics, has an ar-
ticle which shows that the aver-
age Canadian could carry through
for a year or more, without work-
ing, living on his bonds. This, of
course, is on the presumption that
the other fellow would not be try-
ing to do the same thing. If
everyone knocked off work for a
year the country would quickly he
in a mess and even the bonds
would not suffice. They make
poor eating.
—Port Arthur Ncws-Chronicle.
Dry and Wet
It's a great life! A lot of drain-
age experts would make Canada
dry, and a lot of anti -prohibition-
ists would make it wet.
— The Farmer's Advocate.
Good Reason
Canadian race tracks recorded
$42,000,000 in wagers during the
past year and yet some people
wonder why shirts are scarce..
— Port Arthur News -Chronicle.
Use for Nazi Flag
That was quite a sensation in
Vienna. The people saw a Nazi
flag flying out of a third storey
wi-idow. Prompt enquiry was
made; the Russians had been us-
ing it as a scrubbing rag and hung
it out I dry.
— St. Catharines Standard.
Now Mosquito?
The new spun -steel stocking
may solve an age-old problem—
unless, of course, Nature comes
up with an armor -piercing mosqui-
to.
—Stratford Beacon -Herald.
•
Nothing To Take Its Place
Circulation of United States
'newspapers increased by 2,500,000
ia.st year to an all-time total of
48,384,188, and figures for Canada
would show a similar movement.
Nothing so far invented is a sub-
stitute for the newspaper, and
nothing is likely to take its place.
—Ottawa Journal.
Face -Saving
Speaking of face-saving gest-
ures: It ha., been announced that
the nation's women will spend $2,•
000,000,000 on cosmetics this year.
— Christian Science Monitor.
As It Ought To Be
Ontario's Minister of Agricul-
ture thinks farmers should take
their wives to conventions. The
Minister is wrong. The wives
slt4uld attend the conventions
while the lnen look after things at
home. The sten can always "get
to go" to auction sales.
Works Both Ways
Antos ruin some of the younger
generation, a teacher contends,
And some of the younger genera-
tion do a swell job of ruining
autos.
—Guelph Mercury.
Work It Both Ways
It is now said that we should
try to understand the Russians,
Why not also get the Russians +o
understand us?
—• (_hath:an News.
JUST IN FUN
Errec.
The y.;ung man at the social
Gathering was boas .ing ui Lis Arc-
tic explorations. Lie gnz at the
beautiful girl he was trying to im-
press.
"J ust imagine," he said, drama -
tically, "an enormous icefloe."
"Yes, I'd like at. ice," said the
girl, absently, "but my name isn't
Flo."
All True
The skipper ul a tramp steamer,
writing the log recc.rding an event.
fill day, rounded off his task with
the entry: "11 ate intoxicated." To
the mate, who indignantly pro -
t, sted on reading it, the skipper
retorted: "41/ell, it's true, isn't it?"
The following day it was the
mates' duty to write the log. He
completed his account with "Skip
per sober."
The captain stared at it fur a
moment, and then exploded.
"Well, it's true, ain't it?" was
the mate's rejoinder
tt—
as
HORIZONTAL
1,4 Pictured
premier of a
British domin-
ion.
9 Loiter.
12 Cab,
13 Fertile spot in
desert.
14 Affirm,
16 Improve.
18 Directed.
19 Cubic meter.
20 Great Britain
(abbr.).
21 Voice
modulation.'
22 Engrave.
24 Member of
BRITISH DOMINION LEADER
Answer to Previous Puzzle
SUTHERL.N
PSVT IBI AL I
I'•PTOMT I T
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T
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RI SE CRES
41 Unit of light
intensity.
43 Sharp point.
45 Exists.
Parliament 47 Merit.
(abbr.). 49 Aureole.
25 Her. 50 Parent.
26 Garden tools. 52 Of small
28 Baseball stick. value.
30 And (Latin) . 54 Imitate.
31 Farm . animal, 56 Teacher.
34 Verbal. 58 Auricles.
35 Genuine. 59 Musical
36 Jewel. drama.
38 Ocean (abbr,). 61 Acid.
40 Anger. 62 Head cover.
63 Plants.
64 Color.
VERTICAL
1 Part of a
doorway.
2 Tool.
3 Next after
eighth.
4 Therefore.
5 Man.
6 Einploy.
7 Current.
8 Steamship
(abbr.).
9 Machine.
10 Hail!
11 Microbe,
12 Child's game.
15 Corded fabric.
17 Performs.
19 Scotsman.
23 Article.
25 Impression.
27 Schedule.
28 Marsh.
' 29 Area measure.
32 Belongs to us.
33 Tiny,
37 Infold.
38 Wood sorrel.
39 Ritual,
42 Ferment.
44 He is premier
of the Union
of Africa.,
45 Frozen water.
46 Persian ' ruler.'
48 Back of neck.
49 Heron (var..).'
50 Greater
number.
51 Talent.
53 Age.
55 Through,
57 Greek letter.
59 From.
60 Like.
Very Simple
During a question period follow-'
ing a lecture a man arose and put
a foolish query to the speaker. The
latter replied:
"The logic of your question
makes me think of another Can
you tell me why fire engines are
always red? You c n't. Well,
fire engines have four wheels and
eight men. Four and eight are
twelve. Twelve inches make a
foot. A foot is a ruler. Queen
Elizabeth was a ruler, The Queen
Elizabeth is the largest ship that
sails the seven seas. Seas have
fish. Fish have fins. The Finns
fight the Russians. The Russians
are Red, Fire engines are always
rushin'. Therefore, fire engines
are always red. I hope this ans-
wers your question also."
Just A (yp
A merchant heard that the na-
tives of an island in the South
Seas had more gold than they
knew what to do with, so he de-
cided to help them out. He sailed
to their island with a boatload of
onions. The natives had never
tasted onions, and were delighted
with them; they exchanged a ship-
load of gold for onions.
The merchant's business rival
was enraged when hP heard of this,
but decided that if the natives liked
onions they would surely like garlic
better. He therefore .00l them a
shipload of garlic, and true enough
they were delighted.
When he asked for gold in re-
turn, they told him they wouldn't
think of giving him anything so
common, and insisted upon turn-
ing over to him their most prized
possession—the shipload of onions.
�- RELIEVES -MISERIES OFTh
Baby's Cokt
S
Penetrates tl Stimulates
deep into bronchial
tubes with its sooth-
ing medicinal vapors.
the chest and back
surfaces like a good,
warming poultice:
Warming, soothing relief—grand
relief—comes when you rub good
old Vicks VapoRub on the throat,
chest and back at bedtime. Its
penetrating -stimulating action
keeps on working for hours. In-
vites restful sleep. And often by
morning most misery of the cold
is gone. No wonder most mothers
use VapoRub.
Try it tonight—
home -proved " -VAPORtia
Should Be Proud
The colonel was invited to, a
farm for lunch. Me astonished
tl.c farther by eating two small
roast fowls, later I.: noticed a
cocl< strutting about and remarked
"By gad, that's a p:oud bird."
"So he s'iould be" answered the
farmer, "he has two sons in the
Army."
YOU'RE TOPS in the
family's estimationwhen
you serve delicious Max-
well House Coffee. It's
bought and enjoyed by
more people than any
other brand of coffee in
the world.
You can't feel your best if you;,
kidneys aren't working normallya
Gin Pills help give relief from
Backache, Rheumatic Pain and
other symptoms of sluggish kid-
neys. Your druggist sells Gin Pills
on a satisfaction -or -money -back
basis. Get a package today—use
Proves their merit.
Reguicr size, 40 Pills
Economy;size, 80 Pills
(15 the U.S.A. ask /or Gino Pills)
GET DOUBLE SAFETY
FETY
N
r
HE REAL story of tire safety
ji is told on the rough brick and
grinding asphalt of the Indian-
apolis Speedway. In official tests at
daredevil speed STOCK Firestone
Tires were subjected to 500 torture -
packed miles to prove their invinc-
ible strength. Throughout this
gruelling test -135 M.P.H. on the
straightaways—not a blowout, not a
skid. Tough treatment—tough tires!
Firestone Tires have always led
the field with extra safety and
mileage at no extra cost. Get most
safe miles per dollar by having your
nearby Firestone Dealer store equip
YOUR car with the only synthetic
tires that are proved on the speed-
way for your safety on the high-
way. You'll be glad you did !
FIRESTONE TIRE & ROBBER COMPANY
of Canada, Limited
HAMILTON - CANADA
the 0Nk3' s�ttitfftE' 3`f:
•
XpO18 tiAixt1E sPEFQg1i
1946
Ti
2500,
ANNIVERSARY
/n Cd/700i3
THE SPORTING THING
illr i{Ii
"Your slip is showing!"
MUTT AND JEFF– Speaking ac a Rank Outsider -1 Never Heard of a Four Horse Dead Heat By BUD FISHER
MUTT,THEREARE
FOUL HORSES IN
THE NEXT RACE!
I wANNA BET
t
ON IFLAi�00T. ,''r�
'FLATFOOT?
ARE YOU NUTS,
THAT NORSE
HASN'T A
1 „ CHANCE!
1
W ANNA
135T TEN
DOLLARS
aN
FLATFOOT!
`IOU SIMP!
YOU'LL LOSE
YOUR DOUGH!
THAT HORSE
RUNS IN
CIRCLES,
1 DON'T CARE! A HUNDRED
WHAT ODDS CAN TO ONE!---
I GET ON ZU T LISSEN
FLATFooT! To ME --
,
.
AS YOUR PAL I'M
C30NNATtP YOU OFF!
FIRST, T1 -IAT HORSE
CAN'T RUN! r
SECOND, HE HASN'T
A CHANCE To WIN!
AND -SNE
GOSH! res GONNA, "-8-"
BE A HECK OF A
•
SLOW RACE THEN!
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I OWN THE \:',;
, OTHER THREE
HORSES! RS! �'
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REG'LAR FELLERS—High Ho!
13115114E55 15 50 GOOD -
I THINK. I'Lt. L.TCHA OPEN
UP A • ; iARCH OFFICE
OVER ON BOOP AVEN0O!
YOU GO FIND A LOCATION
AN' SET UP A STAND - <
11-1EN I'LL FIX YOU UP
WIT 50VE•S70CK l
�` 0KEY
DOKE.
T
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•�ti,
MAY ..11M, h s i
D,RANCii OF=FICE FORGE -
IS OPEN-- 'EM
EdJr I GOT 50NNY
MY POUt3T5! WE CANY
MISS!
ABOUT
59
MINUTES
32%z
SECONDS
LATER.
By GENE BYRNES
I KNOW lTT
A LITTLE. HI614
SLIT ITS TH' ONLY SAFE.
NAACO
AROUND HERE!
f: "_•
(: riun en, k MI Iy,L,n„sv.,ved. •'--•—.
PGP—Pop's a Man of Logic
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I tElk41T YC?LJ -THE DHAP
WHO LC$T HIS STRIPE
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yrs YESTERDAY
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Re. or.aei 'rr a I tyadionte, Ifio,l,
YES
WELL, WHY'
COME HERE if
LOOVING
FOR A
SIR IIP 7
By J. MILLAR WATT
WELL,I
LOST iT
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DIDN'T
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