Zurich Herald, 1952-01-17, Page 6E CIL SPORTS COLUMN
I'M A LITTLE LATE in reporting
this, but it happened New Year's eve. Doz-
ing in front of the fireplace over a good, but
dull, book, your agent was startled to see
two extraordinary figures emerging from the
wood -smoke.
"Something I ate, no doubt", I offered
as an excuse to soothe a slightly agitated mind. "Just couldn't be
no such people." - •
For one was a very decrepit old gent, wild looked to be on
his last legs, the other a very young 2lttle• fellow, and they were
chatting away.
"Well, things were pretty fine while they Listed", said the Old
Gent, who turned out to be 1951, preparing for •Jzislaaidiligfit•'rls
parture. "I probably broke all records iin•my•12' sfibtitit on earth. t:4
"You broke a lot of people with high prices, if' th'at;s what
you mean" said the little fellow. "Ev'erytbirig Was higher than a
speculator's idea of a Grey Cup tickei<rs tir�llle ,'.
For a mere child, this little lad seemed, to be, pretty in-
formed on sports topics. "I'm 1952" It anidt lice$ "ani I'know
my stuff" he added briskly.
"If you're so smart," said the shalt old 'gentleman, who was
plainly on his last legs, "what are you ing to do about things in
your span on earth? You have a lot of Augean stables to clean up."
"Why all the emphasis on the cess-pools?":;asked the moppet.
"After all, if you buy a barrel of apples and find .that a couple are
rotten, that's to be expected. Everybody, includingri'Yne:';boys in
the writing business, seems anxious to stress the misdeetls, which
are comparatively few, and overlook a lot of the good,clean decent'
sport, the real amateurism, the play -for -fun, which is the backbone
of sport, really."
"What do you see for the future?" enquired the Old Boy,
anxiously. "And hurry up. I got a date with a Man With A
Scythe."
"There's a few things to which I'd like to devote my time"
said the youngster.
"Speaking of time, I'd like to see overtime come back into
hockey" quavered the Old Boy. "I think it would add a thrill to
theame, and it would still the clamour of a. lot of customers,
who affer all, are entitled to what they want. We might get away`'
from a lot of tie games, that dotted my term."
"What's the matter with tie games?" pertly enquired said Kid
1952. "Hockey is presented as a 60 -minute game. A boxing match
is usually listed for 10 rounds. A .soccer game is 90 minutes. A
football game is an hour. So is a basketball match. There's no
overtime in these, so why pick on hockey? With 70 games in the
big league, there's hockey enough. I got more important things
to attend to. I got to keep an eye on that hockey player Elmer
Lech. At the rate he's going when he should be on the shelf, I'll
have to hand him over to 1953. I see Rocket Richard breaking
Nels Stewart's, all-time League scoring record of 324 goals, in my
span on this round old earth. I'm getting ready to hear a growing
clangour to change the Grey Cup play-offs so the west too can
get a look at this event. Play it in two games, one in each.of the
cities represented is my idea.
I gotta see to it that there's a new heavyweight boxing
champion. Jersey Joe Walcott is a nice old pappy-guy, but adds
no inspiration to the game. That Rocky Marciano would be a
good replacement. It looks like Detroit Wing and Toronto Leafs
in the Stanley Cup final. McGill will finally win the Intercollegiate
football title. The number of heavyweight wrestling champions
will be cut to six. Losing hockey teams will blame television, tie
games, and the weather for shrinking gate -receipts. Minor league
baseball attendance will decrease again. The United States will
win the track -field title at the Olympics at Helsinki. Russia will
find an excuse to withdraw its athletes, but will claim that the
''...Olym'bics were first staged in Russia, anyway, and Stalin will de-
nounce`the Games as capitalistic exploitation of the athletes. New
York Giants will win the National League. The racing customers
will wind up broke."
"You can bet on the last one" came a whisper from the Old
Boy, as he vanished into thin air. "That's one bet you might win."
Your comments and suggestions for this column will be welcomed
by Elmer Ferguson, c/o Calvert House, 431 Yonge St., Toronto.
Io- DISTILLERS LIMITED
AMHERSTBURG, ONTARIO
About Electric Hot
Plates And Toasters
Heating elements in these ap-
pliances are usually exposed or
semiexposed to damage. If toaster
coils load up with crumbs, or if
hotplate coils become crusted with
spilled food, let them heat until all
food is charred. Then blow or very
gdntly brush charred matter away.
Wipe toaster exterior with a
damp cloth.
Some toasters -have removable or
hinged crumb tra3fs. Clean them,
washing away any clinging grease,
once a week. I,f the crumb tray isn't
removable, turn toaster upside .
down and shake or pat lightly.
Don't. reach into toaster with
anything to remove jammed bread
until you have pulled the plug from
the socket- Then, when, toaster is
cool .enough, use fingers—never
knives or forks—to pull out the
Wee.
Don't toast buttered or frosted
breadstuffs if you want a clean
;easter.
Fatheads!
Now and then, medical science
has a wonderful way of confirm-
ing what ordinary people have al-
ways taken for granted The In-
ternational Gerontological Con -
gress in St. Louis gave that kind
of back - pat a few weeks ago:
people do get more fatheaded. In
the aged, reported Dr. Oskar Vogt
of Neustadt - Schwarzwald, Ger-
many, most types of nerve cells in
the brain show cavities filling up
with fat. The cells themselves
fight the invasion, resist most suc-
cessfully when the individual keeps
active. Concluded Dr. Vogt: "We
have observed no case in which
overwork was found to have ac -
cele •ated the aging of the nerve
cells."
REAL TRUST
They passed her in the park,`
'That's Perry's wife," said Carter.
"Thinks the world of her husband!"
"Does she?"
"Rather. She even believes the
parrot taught him to swear!"
They'll Get A Thrill On Holmenkollen Hill — Ski jumpers from 35
nations will try their skills on the huge Holmenkollen Ski Jump Hill
when Oslo, Norway, plays host to the Winter Olympic Games this
February. After leaving the lip of the jump a skier files through
the air at about 50 MPH. Right under the takeoff spot Is a rest-
auront from which spectators can watch as the contestants xoom
overhead.
WITH A
QUACK,
QUACK
HERE .
Smokey, a
10 -month-old
pup, had a run-
in with a' -
mechanical duck
and come off
second best. The
duck, a
Christmas gift
for -
Donald Miller,
eight,
waddled along
the floor and
right up
Smokey's tail,
chewing away
until it was
hopelessly
enmeshed in
the dog's hair.
Allen Glisch
of the
Animal Welfare
League holds
Smokey and
prepares to trim
the waddler off.
y ,A SzxgtTC
Books.. about baseball continue .to
pour from publishers' presses in
such volume that anybody who tried
to own then all would need not
only a bookcase with expandable
shelves but a library with .'walls
built on the accordion plan. A cer-
tain percentage—about the same as
that of the alcohol content in pro-
hibition -days "near bear"—are high-
ly readable, and among these we ,
would number those written by Toni.
Meany, -
* * *
Mr. Meany started off with
"Baseball's Greatest Teams." Then,
in all probability, he figured that -
was taking in tori much territory'
if he wanted to keep on going, so.
started to specialize. His second;
volume was "Baseball's. Greatest
Hitters." Now, jtist published, is
his third, quite naturally entitled .
"Baseball's Greatest Pitchers."
• * *
Sooner or later, we presume, he
will get around to thegame's great-
rest fans, its greatest gate crashers,
and so forth.
4< * 'R -
However, "l3asebalrs Greatest
Pitchers" is well worth reading.
What is more, his selection of top "
hurlers is bound to start plenty .of
argument among the grandstand
managers, second guessers and all
the rest of the fans—one of the -
prime requisites for a successful
book about the game.
✓ * *
Before passing on to you Meany's
list of twenty-five top hurlers of all
time we might say that, in making .
his selections, the author took the
lively ball into consideration. ,In
fact "all tinge" is probably not strict-
ly accurate because, with the ex-
ception of Cy Young and Joe Mc-
Ginnity, practically all those men-
tioned achieved greatness since the -
turn of the century. In other words
Meany doesn't include the likes of
Old I-Ioss Radbourne, Kid Nichols
and Amos Rosie. On the other
hand, the author isn't the type of
Commentator who claims that noth.
ing we have today equals what pre-
vailed a generation or so ago, as
six of his twenty-five are still pitch-
ing or, at least, were doing so last
season,
a * ro
So here are .Mr. Meany's twenty-
five, not rated in the order of their
greatness, but alphabetically:
* * *
Grover Cleveland Alexander, Ew-
ell Blackwell, Dizzy Dean, Red
Faber, Bob. Feller, Lefty Gomez,
Burleigh Grimes, Lefty Groves,
Waite Hoyt, Carl Hubbell, Tarry
Jansen, Walter Johnson, Bob Lem-
on, Ted Lyoiis, Christy Mathew-
son, Joe McGinnity, Hal Newhaus-
er, herb Pennock, Eddie Plank,
Vic Raschi, Dazzy Vance, Rube
Waddell, Ed Walsh, Bucky Walt-
ers, and Cy Young.
* * 5
As we stated earlier, Meany's
choice—anybody's choice, for that
matter,—is bound to cause dissen-
sion and arguments. We can per-
sonally think of not one but quite
a lot of heavers that we think be-
long up there in the select twenty-
five, Eddie Cicotte, for example:
He may have had, as some allege;
the morals of a louse. But for our
money he could outpitch at least
seven or eight of Mr. Meatly's boys;
even when he was trying to lose he
couldn't help winning two games
from Cincinnati in the 1919 World
Series, Then there were hurlers like
Rube Marquard, Chief Bender,
Smokey Joe Wood and several
others we might mention,
e * *
However, you can't have every
thing and "litaseball's . Greatest
Pitchers" Is a real treat tot any
baseball fan, and totalling more
than Int .Aare of Interesting and
. amusing anecdotes that haven't been
previously told a dozen times—
something quite unusual in; volumes
of this nature. we might add.
* *
Speaking of such anecdotes—and.
as this column seems to have got
itself prettywell cluttered up with
baseball already—here are a couple
that we hadn't heard before. The
first concerns the unforgettable
Babe Herman, who probably made
more bonehead plays than any other
baseballist that ever lived, but who
still was one of the game's great-
est sluggers.
* :s
Uncle Robbie Robinson had the
Babe at Brooklyn, but shipped him
out to Minneapolis, either for sea-
soning or to keep himself from com-
mitting murder. Mike Kelley, the
Minneapolis boss, Promptly shipped
Herman back. "What's'wrong with
him?". queried Robinson. "The bum
won't pay,aity attention to signals,"
replied 'Kelley.. `Every time I give
him the bunt sign he hits one over
the fence."
* * *
The other yarn also concerns
Minneapolis, when Donie Bush was
manager there. One of his players
was Ted Williams, now baseball's
greatest hitter—and still a pain in
the neck to any manager. Bush
stood for Williams antics as long as
possible, but finally went to Kelley,
owner of the team: "Mike," said
Donis, "I just can't stand that fresh
kid any longer. Either he turns in
his uniform or I do."
4' * *
"Donie," said Kelley, putting his
arm affectionately around Bush's
shoulder, "I've known you for over
thirty years and think as much of
you as if you were my own son.
But if 911e of you has to turn in his
uniform, it's you."
New Bearskins
For The Guards
Forty bearskins for the King's
Grenadier Guards are on their way
to Britain,
Members of the Prince George,
B.C., chamber of commerce began
collecting the 'skins a year ago
when they heard the Guards' tailors
were using wolfhides to snake their
busbies. Bearskins, previously used,
were in short supply.
The chaniber wanted to present
the skins to the Guards' honorary
colonel, Princess Elizabeth, when
she Was in Vancouver in October,
but the reception committee frown-
ed on the idea.
The Night Watch. In Chicago,
someone broke into Charles Racan-,
elli's tavern, took . $300 in cash,
$1,000 worth of liquor and his 145-
lb. great Dane watchdog. .
CLEARANCE
FACT RY
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All solid pastel colours, softly
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SALE PRICE $7.50
lXall your order immediately to:
YORKSHIRE
TEXTILES
3 Wiltshire Ave.
Toronto 9, Ontario
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MEDICAL.
HAVE you heard about Dixon's Neuritis
and Rheumatic Pain Remedy? It gives
good results.
MUNRO'S DRUG STORE
335 Elgin Ottawa .
$1.25 Express Prepaid
SOME HORSERACE!
Five horses were entered in the
.third race. Four were quoted at
normal odds, but the fifth horse,
Speed Demon, was a long 30 to 1.
A mild little roan went up to' his
bookie. and bet $500 on him. The
bookie took it, and then reduced the
odds to 20 to L
Pretty soon the little man came
back and bet another $500, at 20 to
1. This time the bookie marked
Speed Demon down to 15 to 1.
Again and again the little man
came back with his $500 bets, while
the odds sank to 10 ... 5 ... 2 to 1,
and finally to even money.
At this point even the heard heart
of the bookie melted.
"Mister," he pleaded with the
man, "Don't bet any more on that
horse. You're throwing your money
away. Speed Denson can't win."
"How do you know?" asked the
man.
"Because I own Speed Demon!"
exclaimed the bookie in exaspera-
tion.
The Little man whistled softly.
"Brother, it's going to be a slow
race," he replied. "I own the 'other
four."
MEDICAL
POST'S ECZEMA SALVE
BANISH the torment of dry eczema reshei
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Itching, scatted, burning eczema, acne,
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PRICE r $2.50 PER JAi!I
POST'S REMEDIES
- Sent Pool levee on Receipt o'f' Price
889 Queen St t0, Corner of Logan,
Tmenntn
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889" QUEEN ice.- EAST TORONTO
EASY .TO QUIT SMOKINGIl,SE Tobacco` Eliminator, a scientific
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Oi'PORTUNIPIES FOR
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PATiONTS
AN OFFER to every inventor—List of In-
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FETISERSTONHAUQA & Company, Pa-
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WANTED
FARMERS: I have many .reliable, ex-
perienced men from Holland • available
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now and be ready RIR spring.. John
Vellinga, Box 284, Chatham, Ont. Phone
2318J.
DEALERS WANTED, to take orders for
day old chicks and turkeys for one of
Canada's largest Approved Hatcheries.
. Liberal commission paid. - Feed dealers,
Watkins. dealers and Imperial dealers,
make excellent agents, Send for full de-
tails. Box 7.2, 123 Eighteenth St., New
Toron to.
1 Was Nearly Crazy
With Fiery Itch •""IIntll I discovered Dr. D.D. Deanle' amazingly
fast relief—D. - D. D. Prescription. World
popular,
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Reece and cordon from cruel itching
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Prescription (ordinary or extra strength),
LOGY, LISTLESS,'
OUT OF LOVE
WITH LIFE?
Wouldn't you like to jump out of bed
feeling fine?
Not up to par? ... you may suffer from an
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Carter's Little Liver Pills. These mild
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of digestive juices. Soon you'll feel that -
happy days are here again thanksto Carter's!
Why stay sunk? Get Carter's Little Liver
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from any druggist.
ISSUE 3 — 1952
ntorio Hydro Bonds
Yielding •4.07%
The new issue of Ontario Hydro bonds,
yielding 4.07%, is fully guaranteed by the
Province of Ontario. The income from these
bonds is higher than has been available from
this type of 'security for many years.•. We
offer as principals—
Province of Ontario Guaranteed
Hydro -Electric Power Commission 'Y' .
4% Bonds, due January 15th, 1967
Denominations: $500 and $1,000
Price: 99.25 and interest, to yield 4.07%
.Mail orders receive prompt attention.
36 King Street West 'q'�'r
Toronto l �C oodi, Gundy & Collip au,
Telephone: EMpire 4.4321 Limited
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