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HomeMy WebLinkAboutZurich Herald, 1956-05-03, Page 6a�. w AN NE I4IPSTJ votot ',outlay anit#24egat "Dear Anne )Furst: For the past year I've been going with a girl I think so much of that we have talked of marrying. However, I am getting fed up. We have had so many quarrels about my ex - girl friend and her former boy friend! I've su*gested we forget all about them. I've done every- thing to avoid such unpleasant- ness, I've taken the blame and apol•xgized when I knew I was- n't wrong, "Now she says it is possible there* is another fellow! After a hot argument, I told her she cduld do as she pleased, I had had enough. She tried to lead around for my apology, but I did not offer it. "How much is a guy supposed to take to prove he loves a girl?.: I know as a rule a girl won't * admit she is wrong, and I do love her. But is it my place to apologize now? RICH" DON'T GROVEL * Two people in love usualiy are on .their best behavior. * * They present their most at- * * tractive selves, and conscious- * * ly or not they suggest the * comfortable person they would ,w * be to live with day after day. * They flatter each other, they * smooth over differences of • * opinion, they are agreeable to * the nth degree, striving to * make the best possible im- yo * pression. If they did not, how w' * many friendships would cul- me * minate in marriage? vie * Both sexes, however, some- litt * times take a different tack. ab * Many a girl, like this one you our * are fond of, delights in argu- * ments which will (she thinks) the " rebound to her credit. She on * cannot resist arousing your * jealousy, and, not content with * quibbling over former friends, she sugests there is still an- * other lad you must watch out * for! She gets a kick out of * such scenes, your apologies * make her feel superior.—and * that to her is infinitely more * pleasurable than the rapturous * romantic attachments many * young couples enjoy. * You did well to walk out, * What a prospect for marriage! * Can you picture such debates * going gon there years faith on fter year? Un- both * sides, there is no foundation * for a good married life. * Let her simmer down. Dur- * ing your absence, she may realize how cheap her tactics have been, and if she does, you ' will get a hurried call to please come back. Then you can put your foot down and tell her you are having no more silly arguments. No self-respecting young man will continue playing the doormat to such shabby ca-' price. Let her alone, and if you do not hear from her, it is, I think you will agree, a good riddance. * * LANDLORD 'TROUBLE "Dear Anne Hirst: The letter u printed about the landlord 1io made such trouble gives courage to ask for your ad - e in a similar situation. My le boy, 8, constantly is being used by the man who owns house and' lives next door. Everything that happens in neighbourhood he blames our boy. Once he even ck him! His own children ur) are using foul words; have even lied against our son. I've been patient but now 1, can take no more. "His friends stride through our property, dropping litter and getting intoxicated in our back yard. Do I have to take more of such goings-on? The trouble is, there isn't another place available in the neighbour- hood which is convenient to the school and to my husband's bus- iness. "FURIOUS." * In these days of scarce ac- comodations, it is a toss-up * whether children or parents * suffer more from unpleasant * neighbours. .A day of reckon- * ing must come, and then abu- * sive owners will find the * tables turned. * The next time this owner * causes trouble, call in the law * to settle with him. So long * as you pay your rent and he * cannot prove his charges * against your boy, it is not, * likely he can turn you out. * You have my sympathy. * * If your courtship days are clouded ley disputes, take time out to reflect. Anne Hirst can help you see clearly, and de- termine whether petty differ- ences are important or not . Write her at Box 1, 123 Eigh- teenth St., New Toronto, Ont. GRIMM RE:MINER Prompted by a desire to help his club, John Phillips, the Chic- ago Cub statistician, took a whirl at scouting one summer. He heard about a wonderful young pitcher and hurried out to take a look. The prospect • proved to be even greater than anticipated. Phillips phoned the then Cub manager, . Charlie Grimm, in frantic' haste. "Charlie," he said excitedly, "I've landed the greatest young pitcher in the land He struck out every man who carne to bat — twenty-seven in a row! Nobody even got a foul until two were out in the ninth. The pitcher is. right here with me.What shall I doe" Back came Grimm'.: voice. "Sign up the guy who got the foul. We're looking :for hit- ters." Separates with a smooth coor- dinated look — smart fashion any season! This twosome is a cinch to sew; classic blouse in threesleeve versions — favorite full -circle skirt below. Ideal for cottons in gay plaid, check. print! Pattern 4533. Misses' Sizes 12, 14, 16, 18, 20; 30, 32, 34, 36, 38, 40, 42. Size 16 blouse takes 1% yards 35 -inch fabric; skirt 4 yards. This pattern easy to use, sim- ple to sew, is tested for fit. Has complete illustrated i nstruc- tions. Send TifIETY-.FIVE CENTS (stamps cannot be accepted - use postal note for safety) for this pattern, Send your order to Anne Adams Patterns, 123 Eighteenth Street, New Toronto, Ont. stru (fo they PRINCE AND 1.115 PRINCESS -- Prince Rainier 111 and his Grace Kelly, wave from 'rr balcony of the palace in Mbade, Offer they were united in o civil marriage c« ernony. onate► DISTINCTIVE DESIGNS IN 'CANADIAN -MADE FELT were a feature of the year-end fashion show by students of the School. of Fashion ofthe Ryerson' Institute of Technology, Toronto. Three of the 51 'skirts seen are shown above. Their designers are, left to right: Jeline Root, Cambellford, Ont.; Carol Wolfe, Saskatoon, Sask.; and Gunta Mateas, of Toronto, Lincoln Had Marriage Troubles Too Almost a century ago, Abra- ham Lincoln and Mary Todd ' were married, in Springfield, Il- linois, and their marriage prov- ed to be one of the most un- fortunate unions in the history of the United -States. The . only comment that Lin - coin ever made in writing about ' his marriage, was a postscript that he added to a business' let- ter, written a week after the event. The Ietter was written to Samuel Marshal, and it is now in the' possession of the Chicago Historical Society. In it, Lincoln says "There is no news here' ex- cept my marriage, which to me is a matter of profound wonder." William H. Herndon was Lin - 'coin's law partner for a fifth of a century; and Herndonknew Lincoln better than any other man ever knew him; and Hern- don said, "If Lincoln -ever had a happy day in ;'twenty years, I never knew of ft." And. Herndon thought' that Lincoln's marriage had a lot to do 'with his sad- ' mess. I' once spent three years writ- ing a biography of Lincoln, and while I was writing it, I believe •1 made as careful study of the home life of the Lincoln family as it is possible for anyone to make. I carefully examined and re-examined every shred, of evi- dence that is in existence; and I came to the reluctant and pain- ful conclusion that the greatest tragedy in Abraham Lincoln's Iife was his marriage. Shortly after he and Mary Todd were engaged, Lincoln be- gan to realize that they were exact opposites, in every way, and that they could never be 'happy. They were the exact op- posites in temperament, in tastes, in training and desires, writes Dale Carnegie in'The Police Ga- zette, For example, Mary Todd had attended a snobbish finishing school in Kentucky; she spoke French 'with a Parisian accent, and was one of the best -educated women in Illinois. But Lincoln had attended a total of less than twelve months in his . entire life, She was extremely proud of her'iamily,'Her grandfathers and great- grandfathers and great- uncles had been generals and governors, and one had been Sec- retary of the Navy. But Lincoln had no pride what- ever in his family tree, He said that only one .0f his relatives hacl ever visited him while he lived in Springfield, and that one was accused of stealing a jew's harp before he got out of town. Mary Todd was deeply inter- ested in dress and show and os- tentation. But Lincoln took no interest whatever in his appear- ance. In fact, he would some- times walk down the street with one, trouser leg on the outside of his boot and the other trouser leg stuffed in the inside of his boot Mary had been taught that . good table manners were almost a sacred rite; but Lincoln had been reared in a log cabin with a dirt floor, and he stuck his own knife into the butter plate and did a score of things that shock- ed Mary and drove her wild. She was proud and haughty. Ile was humble and democratic. She was intensely jealous; and created a scene of he merely looked at another. woman, Shortly after they were en- gaged, Lincoln wrote her a letter saying that he didn't love her sufficiently to marry her, He ISSUE I8 -. 105" gave this letter •to his friend, Joshua Speed, and asked Speed to give it to Mary Todd: Speed tore up the letter, threw it in the fire and told Lincoln to go and see Mary Todd himself. He did, and when he told her that he didn't want to marry her, she started to cry. Lincoln could never stand seeing a woman cry; so he took her in his arms, kissed her, said he was sorry. The wedding day was set for January 1, 1841. The wedding cake was baked, the guests were assembled, the preacher was there, but Lincoln didn't appear. Why? Well, Mary Todd's sister afterwards explained it by -say- ing that Lincoln went crazy. And her -husband added: "Yes, crazy as 'a loon." The fact is that. he did' become ill — dangerously ill in body and ill in mind, and he sank into a spell of melan- choly so deep and so terrible' that it almost unbalanced his- reason. His friends found him at day- light, mumbling incoherent sen- tences. He said he didn't want to live. He wrote a poem on sui- cide and • had it published . in one of the Springfield papers, and his friends took his knife away from him, to keep him from kill- ing .himself. Lincoln then wrote the most .pitiful letter of lass life. It was written to his law partner who was then in Congress. This is the letter: "I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were• equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on earth. Whether I shall ever be any bet- ter, I cannot tell. I awfully for- bade that I shall not. To remain • as I am is impossible. I . must die or be better it seems to me." For almost two years after that, Lincoln had nothing what- ever to do with Mary Todd. Then a self-appointed matchmaker in Springfield . b r o'u g h t them to- gether again, behind closed doors, and Mary Todd told Lin- coln it was his duty to marry her. And he did. While I was out in Illinois, writing that book about Lincoln, I went to see Uncle Jimmy Miles, a farmer who lives near Spring- field. One of his uncles was Herndon, Lincoln's law partner; and one of his aunts ran a board- ing house where Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln came to live shortly after they were married. Uncle Jimmy Miles told me that he had often heard his aunt tell this story: One morning, Mr. and Mrs, Lin- coln were having breakfast with the rest of the boarders, and Lincoln said something that dis- pleased his wife; so she picked up a cup of hot coffee and dash- ed it into his face, and she did it in the presence of the other boarders. Lincoln didn't answer her• He didn't scold her. He said nothing while the landlady brought a wet cloth andwiped off his face and clothes. But let us-. not judge' Mrs. Lin - coin too harshly. She .finally went insane; and perhaps 'much earlier her mind was being affected by insanity. One of the most beautiful things I know about Abraham Lincoln is the fact that' he en- dured his unhappy home life for twenty-three years without bit- terness, without resentment and without saying a word about it to anydne. He endured it with Christ -Tike forgiveness, and with at patience that was almost div- ine. RONICLES 4, IitiGkREAtel ttiz The Easter season has come and gone and whatever the weather before and after no one could possibly have asked for a better Easter Sunday. Sun shin- ing all day and reasonably warm for the first of April, Easter is such a happy .occa- sion, especially as its promise of spiritual rebirth coincides with nature's awakening to new life once again. Special church services, Easter flowers and lovely choral• music in churches, and by radio and television, all .. contribute so much. Everything cheerful and full of 'premise. If we don't feel a lift in our hearts we must indeed be dull and un- receptive. No doubt Old Coun- try people will agree with me' that at Easter our thoughts are apt to drift homewards more than at any other .time of the year. Not necessarily with re- gret but rather in gratefulre- membrance. It makes us ha to recall the lovely shaded country lanes, banks yellow - dotted with primroses and the air sweet -scented from the shy violets in woods and lanes. No wonder Robert Browning wrote —"Oh, to •be in England now that April's here!" If one had the time, the opportunity the money, wouldn't it be w derful to fly over 'to the .0 Country just to see the pr' roses and violets in` bloom on again? However, if. that is possible we at least have o memories. The philosophy th "it is better to have loved a lost than never to have lov at all" applies to more than h ,man relations. It applies.equa ly well to places and things th have brought us happiness days gone by. And yet even as remember the past, consciousl or unconsciously, we are buil ing up new memories to tree tire in the days to come, for th present will eventually beton the past as we move day by da into the future. One of . my more recent me mories is shopping with grand son Dave! By special request ‘ I went t Toronto to' help Daughter wit a day's shopping. Dave had t be, taken along too as he need ed to be .fitted for shoes.and a few other things. Believe me, we ' had a most interesting and energetic day.. Dave'was really .quite good but of course stay- ing w• very long in one place .as not to be expected. However,- we coped with that by having a harness on our young man. So while Mummy shopped for drapes ' and shirts, Grandma took charge of 15ave, who was constantly finding new worlds to explore•—the world of mov- ing staircases, elevators to ride in and toys that might be'seen but not touched. When we came to anything that moved Dave had one request—"I go toot" which meant that Grandma 'followed. When our shopping was done—it lasted four hours —we went over to his Dad's office—and that was an unex- pected thrill. Needless to say Dave dropped off to sleep in the street -car coming home, and stayed asleep while being trans- ported from street -car . to strol- ler and from the stroller to his crib. The little man had had quite a day. But oh dear, what a bitter `cold wind we had to contend with. I was. really glad to be back home and out of the weather. On Good Friday, although it was a miserable day,. the. fam- ily drove out here—with Dave none the worse for wear. They had stopped at Oakville on the way up intending to visit Bob and Joy but changed their minds when they found the 'street where they live practical- ly impassable—mud and ruts almost axle deep due to storm sewer operations. It has been and on - Id x ce n't ur at nd ed u- 1- at in w y d- s - e e y 0 h 0 like that for weeks,, Evers, though Bob manages to struggle, in and out with his car it wet' be very good for the motor, Saturday, before they could get out to come up here Bob had,ted jack up the car and put store!, down in the ruts. Just one .of the joys of suburban life! Loolce as if horse -and -buggy condi- tions are sometimes with us yet --but without the horse and buggy to help us out. The .motor traffic over the week -end must have been ter. rifle. We noticed it in rather at peculiar' way on this road. One time in particular I was worke ing in the kitchen. Of course the doors and windows were closed, and yet although we are quite a piece in from the road I soon became conscious of a steady, incessant rumbling—due to atmospheric conditions and traffic on the road. What win it be when Highway 401 goes through! Saturday night we had unex- pected callers, About nine o'clock our good watch -dog was making a great to-do. There wasn't a car in sight but amid the bedlam we heard a knock at the door. A middle-aged cou- ple claimed to have come off the Hamilton bus and were looking for a family—of whom we had never heard—but who apparently lived about 5 miles south-east of here. The story may have beentrue but it sounded a little suspicious. Par- tner suggested they go back to the gas station and call a taxi. They were certainly taking chances — by walking on • strange road on a dark night— and . in dark clothes -and by walking un to a farm • 'house without, knowing what doge were around. And if I had been. alone—and without a dog—I wouldn't have been too happy when this strange couple ap- peared on our doorstep. Sunday we had more unexpected callers. A PROBLEM A newemployee signed hia name "A.' Liar". ' "Wouldn't it be better if your spelled out your first name!'" suggested the clerk. • "Not much,,. replied the he - ginner. "My first name is Adam" Lee;, of., we • s'.•�Iai �'��ell•'r tli Y,j ��,:,,�V4"+y. selYaelpi ff. �� !"'ti yltl�i • ��� e %�-1rve.1' Oji• Na!1 ; .4__,•,..1, ,�i'%�• Witee r y,N a •.44� 45.0#`4,1) �,,s�f nV %• • !4• 738 - BEGINNER -SIMPLE to cro- chet this lovely new doily torr your home! It's all done in it jiffy — in your favorite apple design! pine- apple Pattern 738: Crocheted doily 19 -inches in mercerized crochet and knitting cotton; smaller one to match. So -o easy; so pretty! Send TWENTY-FIVE CENTa (stamps cannot be accepted -- use postal note for safety) toe this pattern. Send your order to. Laura Wheeler Patterns, 123 Eds. teenth Street, New Toronto, Ont. LOST CHORD—Looks easy when Gene Autry strums it. This, appealing picture of two boys engrossed in their first tentativo attempts at guitar chords, won first prize of $50 in the 1953 National Photography Contest sponsored by the Arnericar r Music Conference.