HomeMy WebLinkAboutZurich Herald, 1955-05-12, Page 6Where is "INV Fields' Missing Money?
Tales of Eccentric Comedy King
Calling all bankers! Have you
an account in a queer sounding
name — such as Felton J. Sat-
ehelstern, Mahatma Jeeves, Pro-
fessor Curtis T. Bascomb, or
Mortimer Snavely — that was
opened some years ago by an
American?
If you have, it is very likely
That yOur bank is holding some
of the missing money of the
comedian W. C. Fields who died
on Christmas Day eight years
ago.
The great comedian had often
starved as a tramp before his
genius lifted him to wealth and
the experience had left him with
a horror of ever again being
penniless.
Wherever he went, on tours
that carried him around the
world, he would open a new
bank account by paying in most
of his weekly pay cheque and
use some grotesque -sounding
Zame. Then he would go away
leaving the, money in the bank
and apparently forget all about
it.
In time he came to have about
NO bank accounts in banks all
over the world.
When he died his executors
set out to try to trace these ac-
counts. They are still searching
and after eight years they have
succeeded in running down only
thirty of them.
Some hundreds of thousands
of dollars earned by this king
of comedy remain undiscovered:
they lie in idle acounts in Eu-
rope, America, South Africa and
Australia to the credit of Pro-
fessor Sep timu s Schmelling-
borne, Henry J. Spitzburger
and others.
Nevertheless, Field's recover-
able estate amounted to nearly
e million dollars. He willed that
it should be used to build a
home for white orphans.
This man's fear of being short
of money, a heritage from the
days when he slept on park
benches, under newspapers, also
led him to carry enormous sums
about on his person.
Once when setting out for
California in his limousine, he
showed New York reporters
$350,000 he was carrying—in 1,-
000 -dollar bills.
His legacy to white orphans
was not without its ironic side.
Claude William Dunkenfield, as
he was until the stage discovered
his better-known name for him,
was one of the few men to try
;seriously to make himself an
orphan. Up till the age of eleven
he lived with his father, a strug-
gling fruit pedlar in Philadel-
phia. Father Dunkenfield chas-
tised his son.
One story says that Fields
ruined some of his father's stock
with clumsy practising of the
juggling art of which he was
later to become such a master.
Another story says that Pa
Dunkenfield stepped on a shovel
and barked his shins, and to
teach his son not to lea.ve such
things about, Pa hit Claude Wil-
iam on the shoulder blade.
Whatever the cause there
was a misunderstanding which
Claude William made worse by
ambushing his father and drop-
ping a heavy wooden box on his
head. Pa was knocked out by it
and Claude William seized the
opportunity to leave home and
never return.
Only when he was famous and
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ISSUE 19 1955
earning $1,000. a week as the
"greatest juggler on earth" did
he attempt a reconciliation. He
sent home a letter and ten dol-
lars.
In later years he had a man-
sion in Hollywood with the usu-
al lavish swimming pool. But he
could never be persuaded to use
it. In fact, he shuddered violent-
ly every time he saw it.
The reason was that in his
teens he had got his first pro-
fessional engagement as a jug-
gler and drowner—or, rather,
"drownee"—on an amusement
pier in Atlantic City, New
Jersey, for ten dollars a week
and cakes.
The pier charged no admission
to see Fields and the other
artists, but made its profits from
the sale of sandwiches and beer.
When business was good Fields
juggled. When it was bad he
"drowned": that is, he would
fall off the end of the pier and
'pretend he was drowning in
order to draw a crowd.
The "rescue' would be carried
out by a fellow -artist. a sword -
swallower e Saved, Fields would
be carried into a bar and rolled
on a barrel while barkers urged
sandwiches and beer on the on-
lookers.
When he was hailed as the
greatest comedian in the world,
W. C. Fields presented us with a
heavy, belligerent, pompous fi-
gure with a fruity alcoholic nose.
As he would sometimes admit,
the nose was not made-up but
had been acquired with the help
of whiskey and gin bottles.
Once Fields and his booking
agent, Billy Grady, were lavish-
ly entertained with Irish whis-
key by a friend. They left their
host's Long Island (New York)
home at four o'clock in the
morning in Fields's car, In the
back of the car were several
quarts of whiskey—a parting
gift. Their minds were hazy but
they had an idea it was snowing.
When their minds cleared, a
tropical sun was shining in the
hotel window and palm trees
were waving before their eyes.
Fields was relieved to lean that
Grady saw the palm trees, too.
They rang the bell and the wait-
er surprised them with the news
that they were In Ocala, Florida.
Worried, Fields hurried to look
at his car; there wasn't a scratch
on it. The perfect timing that
had enabled Fields to juggle
anything—eggs, boards, cigars,
hats canes, frying -pans, dishes,
shoes, flat -irons, cigar boxes—did
not desert him when he was
driving a car. Deep in his cups,
Fields could juggle five ivory
balls.
• Once during his juggling act
his hat and his cigar dropped
together by accident. Without
any excitement, Fields caught
both and juggled them along
with the rest and in good time
restored hat and cigar to their
proper places. This got such a
good laugh that Fields from
then on made it part of his act.
Fields got on well with all the
other performers on the same
bill—with the exception of what
the profession calls "fly -catch-
ers!' These are comedians who
get their laughs by grimaces
and pretending to catch flies and
other insects. Fields used stage
properties to get his laughs, and
he got them by building up sus-
pense gradually.
One night Fields found the
audience was laughing at the
wrong places during an act in
which a billiard table and cue
were the props. Eventually, he
found a comedian called Ed
Wynn under the table, catching
flies.
"I'll kill him if he does that
again!' stormed Fields. -• -
Wynn took the hint for some
time. (Fields had punched an-
other "fly -catcher" for much the
same thing.) Then one night in
Boston, Fields found the laughs
coming at the wrong time again,
and he caught Wynn at his "fly -
catching" under the billiard
table. Enraged, Fields brought
the cue down on Wynn's head.
Wynn fell on his face with a
loud groan and the audience
howled with laughter at what
they thought was well -panned
eoinedy business. From time to
time Wynn would let out a low
howl to the huge delight of the
audience. Fields later incorpo-
rated this episode into his act.
Difficult in his. last years,
Fields took to ainbushing his
closest friends. But when he
died on Christmas Day in 1046
they took a full page In Memori-
am notice in a Los Angeles pa-
per. It ran:
"To the most prejudiced, hon-
est and beloved figure of our
so-called film colony. We loved
hint — and. peculiarly — he loved
It would upset Fields if he
could know of his missing
thousands of dollars. But he
would have the last haugh any-
way—at all the trouble he's been
causing his lawyers.
All 1 know is What 1 read tn
the papere. Roger&
1•141,.....1•1• ..1,..,1•••••••••••
THY CALL IT "UNICYCLIST"—Solernn-faced Terry Bociurkiw has
never seen a creature quite like the skinny, many -limbed one
one on the wheel, and who has? Called simply "Unicyclist," the
modernistic statue by Raymond Finak was shown at the outdoor
sculpture exhibit. The conventional statue in the background and
the stone dice player at right doesn't seem to interest two-year-
old Terry.
How Can I ?
Q. How can 1 remove the time
deposit from a teakettle?
A. This is caused by hard wa-
ter. If the kettle is aluminum or
iron empty it and heat it cau-
tiously and slowly. As the heat
expands the metal the deposit
will crack and can then be- re-
moved. If there is not much de-
posit it can sometimes be re-
moved with vinegar if allowed
to stand in the kettle until the
lime dissolves. Add a little salt
to the vinegar. The deposit is
dissolving if little bubbles ap-
pear.
Q. How can 1 make a good
solution for cleaning painted
walls?
A. Use 1 cup of kerosene, 1 cup
of vinegar; 1 cup hot water. Ap-
ply with a cloth, ;then wipe
thoroughly with another soft
cloth. .
Q. How can 1 avoid frosting
that runs?
two coats Of floor paint, 24 hours
apart. After this, use one or two.
coats of waterproof varnish,
Q. How can 1 give a fluffiness
to blankets?
A. After washing and drying
woolen blankets, whip them
with a carpet beater. It will
make the wool light and soft
again.
Q. How can I remove spots
from wall paper?
A. If dry bran is rubbed on the
spots it will absorb a good deal
elf the greaseand dirt. Grease
spots can also be removed by us-
ing blotting paper, placing over
the spot and placing a warm
iron over the vapor- Do not have
the iron too hot.
•
TABLE TAL
elawt AActtiews.
,
Believe it or not, Out the cook-
ery experts for a big manufac-
turer of cooking oil have come
up with a recipe for a no -roll
pastry which is made right in
the pie -plate. No mixing bowl —
no bread board — no rolling pin
— sounds incredible, doesn't it?
This pastry is said to be quick
and easy to mix; .they do say
that it never gets tough, never
shrinks, never balloons and al-
ways stays crisp no matter how
moist the° filling
All you do, for a single crust,
is sift into a pie pan these dry
ingredients: 11/2 cups sifted flour,
11/2 teaspoons sugar, and 1 tea-
spoon salt. In measuring cup,
combine 1/2 cup oil with 2 table-
spoons cold milk; whip with
fork and pour all at once over
flour mixture. Mix with fork un-
til flour is completely dampened.
Press evenly and firmly with
fingers to line bottom of pan;
then press dough up to line sides
and partly cover rim. Be sure to
press dough in uniform thick-
ness. To flute, press dough lightly
with fingers. Do not use a high,
fluted edge.
For baked shell, prick entire
surface of pastry; bake at 425°
F. 12 minutes, or until lightly
browned. Cool before filling. For
eambaked shell with filling such
as custard, pumpkin, or pecan,
bake at 400° F. for 15 nainutes,
then reduce to 350° F. and bake
until crust is lightly browned
and filling tests done.
According to the lady who
sent it to The Christian Science
Monitor this cake recipe is "al-
most fool proof and the cake is
delicious even if it falls." It's
easy to melte, requires no frost-
ing, and keeps well.
FRUIT COCKTAIL CAKE
1 cup flour
1 teaspoonsoda
1 cup sugar
1 cup fruit cocktail (small
can)
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
• V-- -•-
es"
1,42 cup nut meats
Drown sugar
Sift soda with tious. Add
sugar. Add other ingredunits ex-
cept brown sugar and mix well
(it is not necessary to heat).
Pour into greased pan Sprmkle
brown sugar over top. Bake 25
or 30 minutes at 350° F
*
Sweet potato pudding is con-
sidered a real delicacy. You and
your family will probably like
it too, and here's now to make
it.
SWEET POTATO PUDDING
1 egg
• 3 cups grated raw sweet potato
Ya teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon each, cloves, all-
spice, and salt
2 cups milk
2 cups brown sugar
tablespoons melted butter
Beat egg slightly. Add
other ingredients and mix well.
Pour into a butaered baking dish.
Bake at 325° F. for 45 minutes,
or until well browned, stirring
occasionally. Serves 8.
*
e
Now that we're "down south" -
here's an ancient recipe for corn.'
bread easy to make and. I
might add, with the proper • ape.
eompaniments, very easy to eat.
And enjoy!
CORN BREAD
1 egg
Ye cup sugar
1/2 cup yellow corn meal (scant)
1 cup flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
2 tablesnoons shortening,
melted
Sift together corn meal, flour,
salt, baking powder, and sugar.
Add egg and milk and stir quick-
ly until well mixed. Stir in
shortening. Pourbatter(it will
be rather thin) into greased pan
and bake at 400° 1'.
Every addition to true know-
ledge is an addition to human
power.
—Horace Mann.
A. Add a half 'teaspoonful of !'
baking soda to the boiling frost-
ing and it will keep it from run -
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tje happiness
rings from
oderation
louse
:•-'GOETHE
(1749 - 1832)
f Seagram,
of tomorrow practice moderation today
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