HomeMy WebLinkAboutZurich Herald, 1954-01-07, Page 6"Dear Anne Hirst; I've always
iittd, to figure things out for my-
self,' , and Fll admit 1 haven't
done too well sometimes , : At
la, I married a man much older.
'We had four wonderful children
—but he and I never got along.
We separated. For nine years,
1 declared I would never marry
again.
Two years ago I met a young
Man, and from the first I knew
i loved him dearly. We mar-
ried seven months ago. No one
approved, because he was slight-
ly younger; but that, and my
having children, never seemed
to matter. We have had our
ups and downs, mostly downs.
"He is not a bad person. and
I do believe :.e levee me, But
when some little thing burns up
that he thinks I wouldn't ,tile,
he lies about it. When .I ask
him why, ,he says he was afraid
..I wouldn't understand. But he
knows my first marriage was
mostly lies!
"When he finds how these
things hurt me, he says he was
only kidding, But he is doing
something awful to my love for
him. I never know when to be-
lieve him!
"I am hoping that in some way
your answer will make him un-
darstand, before I lost all my
trust in him. I'll sign the nick-
name he gave me—
* It is the philosophy of some
* retarded minds that a woman
should not be told the truth,
* if she cannot take it. On the
contrary, a woman's whole
• faith in the one she loves is
a sustained by the conviction
* that he never shades the truth.
* Unwelcome it may be, but if
* she knows he is speaking the
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ISSUE 1 1954
truth, tee. courage risers with
necessity and she Can sur-
mount any ill news or circum-
stances.
* If this is sunrethittg your
husband fails to comprehend,
he should accept it anyhow, as
the gospel you live by. He
knows how your first mar-
riage was wrecked by lying.
In withholding or coloring
the truth (even in incoinsequen-
tial matters/ he is being un-
just and unkind, treating you
as he would a child too frail
to face reality, Instead, you
are a mature woman of broad
experience, able to meet and
conquer anything that comes.
Even among their friends,
human beings must rely on
each other's .integrity --- or
how keep faith? Surely in
marriage, that most intimate
and delicate of all relation-
ships, truth becomes the para-
mount requirement for endur
ing love and trust.
Seneca, that wise Ronan
philosopher, said, "Time dis-
covers truth." Your husband
has found out that the truth
is always finally revealed So
why not tell it in the first blase
— and perpetuate this fine
love and faith you have in
him? To do less is to court
disaster.
Once he realizes how this
offense is undermining your
trust, he would be a stupid
man indeed to continue the
habit.
SPOILED HUSBAND
"Dear Anne Hirst: in man}
ways my husband is a fine per-
son. But he was an only child
and never had any responsibil-
ities at home. Now my grand-
mother, ,who lives in another
city, and who raised me, is in her
last illness, and she needs ma.
My husband objects to my going.
"We have no children, so I am
free in that way; also, I have
my own income. He just thinks
she's a sentimental hypochondri-
ac, which she is not. If I let her
down, I would never have any
peace. What shall I do?
WORRIED"
* I think you should go to
* your grandmother. She gave
* you a home when you needed
* one, and she is missing you
* sadly now.
• Your husband may still ob-
* ject, but surely he will under-
* stand later on. If it were his,
a*: mother 'that . was ill, he `would
* want to be with her: Remind
* him that you feel obligated to
* comfort your grandmother by
* your presence in these, her
* last days.
* In a matter of this kind, one
* must do what she thinks is
* right,
Truth between husband anti
wife is the foundation of all faith
and love. If you would keep
both, never color or try to con-
ceal it. Anne Hirst' sense of
true values has helped many a
couple toward better understand-
ing. Write her at Box 1, 123
Eighteenth St., New Toronto,
Ont.
They Take 9t E sy
And Live Long
In this age of bustle we can
learn a lesson from the tortoise.
In 1922 the Natural History
Museum worked out the age of
one of those Giant Tortoises from
the South Pacific as 300 years.
There have been many claims
from people having tortoises up
to 200 years old.
One Giant Tortoise lived in cap-
tivity for 140 years and another
for 12'7 years, but there is no
telling how old they were be-
fore capture.
The most authenticated case is
that of "Snappy," who hails from
Rhode Island, On his back was
found the carving "E B.I., 1844,"
and experts from the Bronx Zoo
have just investigated the genu-
ineness of this "birth certificate."
They found that the inscription
had been carved round about that
date, and that "Snappy" had then
reached maturity, a process which
takes over 20 years. That !Hakes
him at least 129 yers old
Ineidentaily, tortoises don't .
have teeth, but their jaws are
cased with horn to forth a very
hard cutting beak.
.,.: CPRDER ''WITH WH1S1ZERS
-
One at the strangest ways of
cotnmiting murder ever devised
is mentioned in a despatch from
a South African correspondent,
The weapon? Tigers whiskers!
Natives have been known to
stalk a tiger, kill i"f, and then
mut off its whiskers. The whis-
kers, after being cut into tiny
pieces, are put .into an enemy's
food. The victim eats the con-
coction unsuspectingly and dies
a terrible death -•with agonizing
stomach pains which . no doctor"
can relieve or cure.
kRoNtici.,
TOINGERFAR
eer nersdotttere Ctra,Oke
We11. whatdo you know?
Here 1 have been leaning' over
backwards in anxiety not to
born readers of this column with
ten much detail about our
grandson. And now I find 1 have
made a mistake. To my sunrise
quite a nuMber of readees Want
to know a lot more about 'tine •
Some say, "Tell us about the
baby -- you have hardly men.'
tioneel hien at all." Wail, Sion,
asked for it, so here goes
right up -to -the minute news, as
I was into see the youn;:•fellow
two days ago. And believe ren,
a trip to Toronto is a lot cadre
interesting how that I have ;
grandson to visit.
I opened the front door of the .
house where Dee and Arthur
live and from the bedroein I
heard Daughter's voice—"Lisi:eti
now, here comes Grandma '
going to be a good boy while
Greeteinil eiti here:" ,
I walked in. There was David
John, squirming around on the:
tray of hie �bathinette, thorough-
ly enjoying the process of being
oiled and powdered, and, while
lying on his tummy .he actually
lifted his little wee . head and
looked around at me. Imagine
at six weeks! Babies certainly.
develop quickly 1;1i"ese days.
much quicken' than when (tar'
two were infants. David seemed to
follow me with his eyes, and
he definitely smiled at his moihe
er. He has a lovely pink and
white : complexion -- for which
I am very glad, sallow babies
get me worried, His hair is red-
dish -brown and he has a nice
shaped head, That morning he
looked so sweet in the little out-
fit I had made him — white
nightie with yellow shocking,
yellow jacket .with white rib-
bon ties and white bootees
edged with yellow; After being
fed -• and falling asleep in the
process, he Was. tucked up in his
blue baby -bunting bag, placed
in his carriage and out on the
veranda to sleep. Later, Datigh-
fc*:c and I warted to go shop-
ping so here is What we did, but
it is only possible with a cer-
tain type of a baby carriage
I suppose you, might call it a
"convertible." We, called a taxi
and when :it arrived We lilted
the body of the .carriage off the
chassis and carried it out to the
waiting taxa., baby and alt A
friend of Datighter's had prom-
ised to look 'after .Davie! while'
we shopped se when we ar-
rived at her -house wo carried
the baby -in the same way and
just set thee carriage on the
chesterfield -=' .no handling, no
disturbing tbe`�baby. It was won-
derful, and"'lac slept thrnugi- it.
all.
Howe vete from all tetcounis
David doesn't spend his entire
time sleeping! 'He likes a tittle
attention at night, and tries
lustily until he gets it. Poor
father can't stand hearing him
cry and so he picks him up. Now
'Daughter really has a problem
on her hands — and it isn't
what ' to do with the baby, but
what to do with Father! But
part of David's restlessness has
been hunger, so now he is get-
ting suppletne.rttavy feeding and
sooms more contented
Before we left the house that
morning the mail arrived and
Daughter received • her first
baby -bonus cheque, I looked at
it and thought to myself, what
a cheque like that would. have
meant to us when our babies
were small. At the time when
Bob was only a few months olcl
Partner was working for the
summer season for another -far-
mer at $35 a month. The baby
was a poor, weakly tittle mortal,
on a special formula of course,
and it cost us S20 a rnonth to
feed him, $15 a month 10keep
the rest of us meant pretty :1im
pickings. Of courc.r' we didn't
mind, just so long as we could
keep the baby alive. But it kept
us busy at that because up to
the tient he was nine months
old he weighed only. ten pounds
After that he went tight ahead.
Now as we look back we often
wonder how we survived those
lean years, followed so soon by
the "hungry thirties." And yet
we don't . really regret those
hard times. We realise we would
have made a lot more mistakes
than we did had we had more
money to spend during our days
of inexperience. At the same
time a baby bonus would have
been a wonderful thing and
would have relieved a great
deal of our worry in dealing
with a delicate baby. Daughter
at that time was three years old,
a bright, happy, healthy tittle
girl, with never a care in the
world just so long as she had her
kitty, little dog Patch and * a
whole faun for her playground.
Well, having clone my stint
for this column I am going back
to a most tntriguing book —
"Ink On My Finger" by the late
J. .li. Lean;,t•:u, lie bad a most
interesting newspaper career,
and, at the time he severed his
connection with the Toronto Star
Weekly he was on the point of
making arrangements to have
the Chronicles of Ginger Farm
as a regular feature al that
paper.
Neat Feet -- Alicia Markova, one
of the greatest ballerinas of,our
time, appearsgraceful as a
swan at this point of a new bal-
let, "Pas de Quatre." She is cur-
rently with the Marquis de Cue-
vas company in Paris,
tog
here is
11. ' s . r
7
seg hi the land « 0, •
Christmas comes again with its gol kn memories and gracious
r ragic... fighting every Shadow, cheering every path,
bidding ,us behold, all is well... and there is no stranger
in the fa
da' -Jar Christmas is in every heart.
the Ifouse of Sea9ram
as