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ZURICH Citizens NEWS
ZURICH edifea4 NEWS
Published every Wednesday Morning at Zurich, Ontario, for the Police
Village of Zurich, Hay Township, and the Southern part
of Stanley Township, in Huron County.
Printed by Clinton News -Record, Clinton, Ontario
Authorized as Second Class Mail, Post Office Department, Ottawa
A. L. COLQUHOUN a Hi RB. M. TURK HEIM
Publisher Business Manager
Subscription Rates: $2.50 per year in advance, in Canada; $3.50 in
United States and Foreign; single copies, 5 cents. Subscriptions
payable to Business Manager, Zurich Citizens News, Box 149,
Zurich, Ontario, or to district correspondents.
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 14, 1959
WAS IT RIGHT?
W E WON DER at the wisdom of an almost entirely new
council in the Village of Hensall firing their clerk -treasurer
before they ever had a chance to see what kind of a job he
was doing. For 30 years James Paterson was handling the
affairs of that village, and all of a sudden out of the clear
blue sky he was asked to resign. Why?
We wonder if the three new councillors themselves know
why they asked for his dismissal? It seems strange that at
the first meeting of a new year they should want to get rid
of the man, without ever having had a chance to work with
him. Surely after 30 years Mr. Paterson was well enough
qualified for his job not to be thrown out in the cold.
The entire situation in Hensall has given the village a great
deal of publicity of the type which they could have done just
as well without. Unless the new members of council had reasons
for their action which have not come out in public, we feel they
should have given the matter more consideration than they did
before they took action. Possibly they were the victims of too
much heresay.
The action of the Reeve, Norman Jones, in resigning after
the clerk's dismissal would seem to indicate that he was well
satisfied with the job Mr. Paterson had done. However, his
resigning will not help the situation in any way. A new council
with only one veteran member and a new clerk will present a
bit of a problem for the welfare of Hensall.
We hope this case will be an example for any other muni-
cipality who may have been contemplating such actions as were
taken in Hensall. As we said before, there may be two sides
to the story, but if there is we feel the council should come
out with their reasons, and they should be sound.
OUR BIRTHDAY
WITH THE PUBLISHING of this issue of the Citizens News
we are completing one year of publication of our new Zurich
weekly paper. Just one year ago, on January 15, 1958, the first
issue of this paper was mailed to about 1,500 box holders in
the surrounding area.
The first four issues of the paper were sent out as free
samples, and then we started to accept subscriptions. Starting
from nothing, the paper continued to grow steadily to the point
where we now have a circulation of approximately 900. As far
as we know this is already a larger circulation than any Zurich
paper has ever had before. And it is still growing; every week
we continue to add new paid subscribers to the list, and we
feel sure that within a few months we will reach the 1,000 -mark.
Coming from a village of 700 population this is certainly some-
thing we all should be proud of.
There are many factors which contribute to the prosperity
of a weekly newspaper. First of all we have our advertisers;
without their support a newspaper would be impossible. Then
we have our efficient system of correspondents; each and every
one of them is doing a fine job of bringing us the news of their
district. All the various organizations have press reporters, whom.
we depend on to bring us the activities of their groups, We
have writers of special features, — the sports column, recipe
box, and the enjoyable needlepoint. Without all these attractions
our paper would probably not be as popular as it is. It is
very fitting at this time to thank all those who have helped us
In any way. All assistance has been very much appreciated.
No doubt from time to time there have been items appear
in the paper with which some folks cannot agree. At times
people would probably be offended at certain articles appearing
here. We don't mean to slight anyone through the medium of
the Citizens News, but we do want to print actual facts and
accounts of all happenings in this community. If at any time
you have something which you want the public to know, don't
be afraid of sending in a "Letter to the Editor", and we will
gladly publish it, providing, of course, we know where the
letter comes from.
Our objective with the Citizens News is: to keep the public
informed of all the happenings in the community; to give our
subscribers valuable information on where to buy all various
types of merchandise; and, to try and build our community into
a. better place in which to live.
With the co-operation of everyone we feel sure we will
see many more birthdays of this paper, such as the one we are
enjoying this week.
NOBODY KNOWS
WHEN A NEW year dawns nobody knows what is ahead
for them. It is likely just as well,
If we could have a peep at the things the forth -coming
year holds in store for us, a lot of us might lose heart and life
would lose its zest.
We wouldn't try very hard at work or play. We would
let the foreknown disaster, minor or major, rob us of our en-
thusiasms, our simple joys and even the will to live,
But because we don't know what is in store for us, let us
make the most of each day as it comes along. Let us enjoy
the sunrises and sunsets, the laughter of our children, the satis-
faction that a job well done brings, the beauty of prized posses-
sions, the fascinating facets of human nature as revealed by our
fellowmen.
Let is strive to do our best to be a little kinder, a little
orae patient, a little more selfish. None of us know what
is ahead for us personally or as a family or nation or world.
While there is still time, live so you have no regrets about
your own shortcomings in the months ahead.
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 14, 19
SUGAR and SPICE
(By W. (Bill)
Last week I had to make a spe-
ech at a banquet. Now, for a pol-
itician or a preacher, a tycoon or
a teacher, or even a plain ordinary
bee esser, there's nothing more
pleasant than to be invited to ad-
dress a gathering. It's second
nature to them. They take to it
like a pig takes to swill.
:k k *
But for hundreds of thousands
of simple, inhibited Canadians like
me, it's about as simple as swim-
ming Lake Superior in your long
underwear.
x 4' *
When we stand up, rubbery -
legged, hands sweating, white as
death, and face all those people
looking at us expectantly, it's
nothing short of a case for the
S.P.C.A.
a: * *
Our minds go as blank as a sud-
denly -drawn window blind. Our
tongues cleave to the roofs of our
bone-dry mouths as tightly as ever
Cleopatra clove to Mark Antony.
Our Adam's apples become even
as pomegranates. Our little sheaf
of notes, over which we laboured
so hard, flutters like a bride's
bouquet.
k .k *
It wouldn't be so bad if people
who invited you to be guest speak-
er gave you a topic. But they
won't do it. They're too polite.
When they ask you to volunteer
for the Torture of the Seven
Deaths, they say: "Why, any-
thing at all. I'm sure that any
thing you give us will be worth-
while."
* *
Which is very unfair, for us who
become moronic when confronted
by an audience. If somebody ask-
ed me to give an address on the
Roman Empire, or the Lost Cities
of the Amazon, or the Ancient
Chaldees, I'd be prepared to do
some research and make a stab at
a speech, supported by notes car-
rying heads, sub -heads, shrunken
heads and dry little jokes that fit-
ted in here and there. Nothing
to it.
4 4'
But I went into this one cold.
I was slaving away at my speech,
however, and had worked out
rather a neat turn of phrase or
two, when it suddenly struck me,
with the stifling pain of a blow in
the throat, that I had no jokes.
-k 4k *
Now, as everyone knows, an af-
ter-dinner speaker without jokes
is about as much use as a wagon
wheel without spokes. He may
have natural eloquence, a good
topic, a fine appearance and a
commanding manner. But with-
out jokes, confronted by 200 peo-
ple, who have just stuffed them-
selves with turkey, in a warm
hall, he simply can't get through.
He might as well be talking to a
couple of hundred seals who have
just cleaned up a ton of fish.
ik k 'k
And the coward who knows
this, however poor a speaker he
is, is always welcome as a speak-
er, because he has a collection of
hoary stories. All he has to do to
make a wonderful impression is:
tell the audience how delighted he
is to be there, and tell a joke;
mention vaguely the purpose of
the gathering, if he knows it, and
relate an anecdote; thank the la-
dies at some length for the splen-
did dinner, and regale his listen-
ers with a fuuny story; tell those
present they are the salt of the
earth and it is an honour to be a-
mong them, and wind up with a
final joke. They'll go home claim-
ing that he was the hest speaker
they'd heard in a coon's age.
• * *
As I am a coward, it produced
a special terror in me when I
realized that I didn't know a sing-
le funny story. When I was a
young rip of a bachelor, I had
quite a fund of them. But when
I got married, I discovered that
women, at least the one I got,
have no sense of humour.
* * *
When we were first married, I'd
come home with some real rib -
splitters, and try to share them
with her, but by the time I was
finished trying to explain them,
I'd be roaring and she'd be crying,
so I gave up.
* * 4'
The very last time I tried it
The Citizens News
Sells Counter
Check Books
B. T. Smiley)
was a couple of years ago. I
heard this story and thought it
would knock even the Old Girl
out. You all know it. The two
keen golfers on the ninth tee,
ready to drive, when the funeral
cortege came along the road bord-
ering the golf club. One golfer
took off his cap and stood with
bowed head until the procession
had passed. His friend asked the
reason for the reverent gesture.
"Least I could do," he said, •when
he had clouted the ball. "I was
married to her for over thirty
years,"
4' 4'
The tears were running down
my cheeks as I told this one to
my wife. She looked at me as
though I needed a shave, then
asked rather crossly: "Why was-
n't he at the funeral?" Since
then, I haven't even bothered to
listen to jokes,
qe 9e 4
So, to cut a long story short, I
had to make my speech without
any jokes. And boy, was it dead.
In fact it was as dead as the wife
of the Englishman. You know
the one. Two Englishmen met in
their club. "Sorry to hear you
buried your wife, old chap," said
one. Replied the other: "Had to,
old boy. Dead, you know."
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Business and Professional Directory
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ALVIN WALPER
PROVINCIAL
LICENSED AUCTIONEER
For your sale, large or small,
courteous and efficient service
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Phone 119 Dashwood
DENTISTS
DR. H. H. COWEN
DENTAL SURGEON
L.D.S., D.D.S.
Main Street Exeter
Closed Wednesday"Afternoon
Phone Exeter, 36
DR. J. W. CORBETT
L.D.S., D.D.S.
DENTAL SURGEON
814 Main Street South
Phone 273 — Exeter
Closed Wednesday Afternoons
DOCTORS
Dr. A. W. KLAHSEN
Physician and Surgeon
OFFICE HOURS:
2 p.m. -5 p.m. Monday -Saturday
Except Wednesday
7 p.m. -9 p.m. Monday and Friday
Evenings
ZURICH Phone 51
G. A. WEBB, D.C.*
*Doctor of Chiropractic
438 MAIN STREET, EXETER
X -Ray and Laboratory Facilities
Open Each Weekday Except
Wednesday
Tues. and Thurs. Evenings, 7-9
For Appointmet -- Phone 606
FUNERAL DIRECTORS
WESTLAKE
Funeral Home
AMBULANCE and PORTABLE
OXYGEN SERVICE
Phone 89J or 89W
ZURICH
HOFFMAN'S
Funeral & Ambulance
Service
OXYGEN EQUIPPED
Ambulances located at Dashwood
Phone 70w
Grand Bend—Phone 20w
Attendants Holders of St. John's
Ambulance Certificates
INSURANCE
For S t fety
EVERY FARMER NEE S
Liability Insurance
For Information About All
Insurances—Call
BERT KL" °PP
Phone 93r1 or 220 Zurich
Representing
CO-OPERATORS INSURANCE
ASSOCIATION
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43/4% for 5 Years
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4% for 1 and 2 Years
J. W. HABERER
Authorized Representative
Phone 161 — Zurich
LEGAL
W. G. Cochrane, B.A.
BARRISTER and SOLICITOR
NOTARY PUBLIC
Hensall Office Open Wednesday
and Friday Afternoons
EXETER PHONE 14
BELL & LAUGHTON
BARRISTERS. SOLICITORS &
NOTARIES PUBLIC
ELMEiR D. BELL, Q.C.
C. V. LAUGHTON, L.L.B.
Zurich Office Tuesday
Afternoon
EXETER Phone 4
OPTICAL SERVICE
Most Modern in Spectacle Ware
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A. G. HESS
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PIANO -TUNING
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