HomeMy WebLinkAboutZurich Herald, 1933-04-06, Page 7Expecting
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Address --- _ ...... ..._....._._.__......
OMMINIBEISMIEMBENIMMEMEN
...SMILES...
On the Links
"Do you play golf?" he asked.
"No," she replied demurely.
don't even know how to hold a cad-
Manager—"A customer has made a
complaiut that the coffee tastes like
laud."
Cook (facetiously) — "Tell him it
was ground this morning."
A man can get married on $10 a
week, but if he stays married he has
to get more than that.
Teacher—"Does the giraffe get a sore
throat if he gets wet feet?"
Pupil—"Yes, but not until next
week."
r.I
It is mighty easy toe an optimist
when everything Is going your way.
Cure For Seasickness
r A plan you might try is to bolt .down
your meals.
1
"I didn't cry at the dentist's, dad,"
informed Willie on his return.
"Good," said Dad. "I like a- brave
boy. I must give you a shilling. Did
he hurt you much?"
"No, dad; he was
Willie.
out," answered
Clay Mudd, editor of The Brushville
Bugle, received from a lady who lives
in Pea Ridge, a little poem entitled: "I
Yonder if You Miss Me?" After read-
ing it, Mr. Mudd returned the poem to
the lady, with the following note:
"Dear Madam: If he does, he ought
never to be trustee: with firearms
again."
The world will never get any better
until children become quite an im-
provement over their parents.
taunter (as he came panting up to
one of the party)—"Just met a great
big bear in the woods!"
Other Hunter—Good!
him both barrels?"
Hunter (wiping his perspiring brow)
—"Both barrels! I gave him the whole
emu!"
Did you give
12
OUR CROSS -WORD PUZZLE
3
49
50
51
EN
TRYiNLLE TVEVE
52
/
53
K
54 55
56
57
GUNQAB'LY
58
59
60
61
62
d
Horizontal
1—To drink
4—Lower animal
9—Sail
12—To be due
13—Listlessness
14—One-spot
15—Rang
17—Transfixed
19—Space
21—Sun god
22—Jewel
25—High mountain
27—Senatorial robe
31—Number
32—Musical compositions
34—Adjoining
35—Fuss
36—Electrified particle
37—While
38—Dissimilar
41—Before
42—Narrow board
43—Pouch
44—Former
45—Type unit
47—Circle
49—Divided
53—Dog
57—Hole
58—Vegetable dish
60—Spanish for river
61—To mimic
6 2—Grin
63—Japanese coin.
Vertical
1—To cut
2—Fear
3—Edible seed
4—Beverage
5—Tries
6—Article
7—To eat
8—Row
9—Small load
10—To cool
11—Couch
16—Song
18—Point in Panama
207 -Beverage
22—Paths
23—Up to
24—Part of "to be"
26—Chief
28—Conjunction
29—Parts of machine
30—Item of. property
32—Poem
33—Child
35—Later than
39—Musical note
40—Organ of head
41—Comparative ending
44—Self
46—State of confusion
48—Knot
49—Watering place
50—Part of body
51—Consumed
52—Obstruction
54—Arid
55—Falsehood
56—Age
59—Fifty-one.
! n'°1.°
oa e recently, George Moore, And
Amusing Anecdotes the stories were worth all 'the labor
Of Famous People he spent on t*sem•**
It wa while Herbert Spencer was
One of the amusing stories told by a guest of ' Grant Allen at "The
Major-General Sir Ernest D. Swin- Nook," Dorking, t' :,t the famous
story of the philosopher's ear -clips
leaked out.
"How it got out we never discov-
ered," says Richards. "My uncle was
furious that this eccentricity on the
part of his guest should become the
subject of paragraphs. But it is true
nevertheless. The philosopher carried
clips in pocket so that if the conver-
sation was not to his .taste, or if he
thought it unworthy of attention, he
could apply them to his ears and fall
buck on his own thoughts for com-
panionship."
ton (in "Eyewitness: And The Origin
of The Tank"), concerns his meeting
with Edna Ferber, the novelist. Miss
Ferber and General Swinton — who
had come to the United States as
aide to Lord Reading—were touring
the country in behalf of the Third
Liberty Loan drive, , Their' parties
net In Iowa one day and the General,
hi a humorous mood, told Miss Ferber
confidentially that at the last place
where his party had spoken twenty
people had been crushed to death
trying to get into the hall to hear
them.
"Was that so, General?" asked
Miss Ferber, "And how many were
crushed trying to get out after you
started?"
he sings in the rain. The only thing
that travels faster than light, to a wo-
man's mind, is a run in her new chif-
fon hose. Asked what he did when his
wife started to give him a lecture, a
man. said: "I listen." Arguments
make few friends. The man who
comes home whipped at night is usual-
ly the man who went out whipped in
the morning. Fools rush in where
wise girls fear to wed. The more a
man really knows, the less certain he
is that he really knows anything.
Gladys (indignantly) — "Smoke a
cigarette! Good gracious, I'd rather
kiss the first man who came along*"
Edith—"So would I, but have one
while you're waiting."
Father—"So you want to marry my
daughter? Have you considered her
family in this matter?"
Suitor—"I have, sir. I love that girl
so much I'd be willing to put up with
anything."
The minister asked his little girl it
she liked bis sermon, and she said
"No."
"Well, what did you like—the first
part?"
"Yes."
"Did you like the last part?"
"Yes."
"Well , what part didn't you like?"
"Oh," said she, "there was too muck
middle."
"Did you keep to the diet I pre -
:scribed for you?"
"I've tried to, doctor, but it hasn't
been easy."
1 "Nonsense! I said you were to eat
what your three-year-old baby -boy
'eats."
"Yes, doctor, I know. Candles, pieces
of coal, shoe -laces; India -rubber."
Ever notice that the fellow who sits
In the back seat at church usually
lands in a front seat at the show?
Loose Change
It Is ax,out as hard to drag an old
fellow out at night as it is to keep a
'young fellow in. Remember the robin,
WEAK WOMEN
Take Lydia E. Piinkhara's
Vegetable Compound
nave you ever felt ;that !you were too
mak to do anything, ... that you did
/tot have the strength to do your work?'
Women who are weak and run-down
should take a tonic _such se Lydia E•
1Pilxakhard'a Vegetable Compound. Head -
e che8 and backaches tlmt are the result
' of a tired„ run-down condition often
yield to this marvelous medicine,
98 out of every 100 women wlio report
to xis• eay that they are benefited by this
roetlielne. Buy a bottle from your drug-
gist today r •. Axid watcif the results.
Blessed is the man who can disagree
with me without getting mad about it.
orated in green—a delicate jade tone.
One of the many virtues of the
green room from the point of view of
the flower -lover, is that it affords an
artistic background for flowers in all
seasons of the year.
British Firm Designs
Maharajah's Palace
A British firm has designed a mod-
ern ,palace for the modern Maharajah
of Jodhpur.
Building has begun. The palace
will cover six acres and stand on a
120 -ft. hill overlooking the capital of
the State.
It will contain:
A circular swimming bath sixty
feet round.
Ballroom.
Theatre built 'on
hold 200.
A bathroom to every suite of rooms
—forty in all.
* A zenana, or part of the house for
the women of the family, with a two -
acre walled garden overlooking the
city.
The palace will cost £300,000 (about
$1,200,000). It would have cost much
more in England, but labor and ma•
terials in Jodhpur are cheap.
There will be accommodation for
fifty women in the Zenana—but the
maharajah has only one wife. The
zenana will be used for her relatives
and guests.
As the women .a this State are
kept in strict purdah—no man may
see them—all the rooms in the palace
will :le accessible from the zenana
by concealed galleries, so that the wo-
men may look on without being. seen.
Everything in the palace will be in
accordance with the latest scientific
piinciples—telephones, electric light,
a.'.odern bathrooms, with hot water.
British Revise Checker Game
New interest is being added to the
game of checkers in England by using
"men" with different numbered values.
the winning of the game being decided
by the total value of the men remain•
ing on the board.
We are too fond of ottr own will; we
want to be doing what we fancy
mighty things; but the great point is
to do small things, when called to
tbem, in a right sprite—Cecil.
modern lines to
Answers to Last Week Puzzle
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* *
Coming from a lecturer "as is a
lecturer," this from Stephen Lea-
cock is amusing:
"No one likes lecturing' except
those who can't do it. A dull lec-
turer enjoys his own performance
immensely."
Professor Leacock is telling (in
"Mark Twain"—a little masterpiece
of compressed biography) how poor
Mark grew to abominate lecturing,
but, alas! needed the money.
Following his marriage to Olivia
Langdon—his beloved "Levy" -- in
February, 1870, Mark Twain lived in
Buffalo, N.Y., ii. a house presented
by his father-in-law. Here is a bully
picture of the "Innocents at Home,"
done in the best Leacock manner.•
"Behold then Samuel L. Clemens—
now become for everybody Mark
Twain, the great American humorist
—the rough days of his western life
1 ut behind him, settled down at num-
ber 472 Delaware Avenue, Buffalo,
trying hard to be respectable.
*
"Here he lives the model life of a
family man, joins in morning prayer
and listens as best he caa to the
daily reading of the Scriptures. More
than that, he even makes desperate
efforts to give up smoking.
"He has his wife at his side, his
desk at his elbow, and the world at
his feet. After all, what does to-
bacco' matter? Let's have another
chapter of Deuteronomy.
* *
Here's a story of Zola — told by
Sir William Rothenstein, the artist,
and retold by Gant Richards:
"Zola sat to me in Paris," Rothen-
„tein—then a young artist — is re-
ported as saying. "He was very cross
that morning, I remember. It was
just after he had come back from
Lourdes and he was wearing a monk's
habit as a kind of dressing gown. He
said 'that he never looked at a pic-
ture show now,' and so I remarked
that books had lately entirely ceased
to interest me. After that he never
spoke till I had finished the draw-
ing."
* * '*
Expert to Produce
459.41 Degrees Below Zero
Berkeley, Cal.—The coldest spot on
earth will be in a laboratory at. the
University of California here if equip-
ment now being installed will produce
the 459.4 degrees below zero Fahren-
heit it is expected to produce.
This point is known as absolute
zero, or "no heat" point. As absolute
zero is approached, molecules and
atoms lose more and more of their
energy. At this point they would,
theoretically, have little or none, ac-
cording to Prof. W. F. Giauque who
with ether members of his department
have developed the apparatus.
Natural scientists have for years
sought the absolute "no heat" point,
it is explained. By means of the evap-
oration of liquid helium it has been
possible to get within 1.4 degrees
Fahrenheit of absolute absence of
heat.
True joy is a serene and sober mo-
tion; and they are miserably out that
take laughing for rejoicing; the seat
of it is within, and there is no cheer-
fulness like the resolutions of a brave
mind.—Seneca.
* * *
A story is told of a book publisher
who, wishing to rid himself of his
bothersome authors, determined to
write his own books; did so, and
lived happily ever after. That does
not apply to Grant R har s, well-
known English publisher—although
he has written a number of books—
for he so obviously enjoys the com-
pany of authors, and artists, judging
from the stories about them in his
reminiscences "Memories of a Mis-
spent Youth"—though why "Mis-
sl ent,"I can't imagine.
0 * *
Grant Richards—named after his
uncle, Grant Allen, the novelist—re-
calls Frank Harris, ahvay a mighty
talker, telling the "magnificent
stories he afterwards published" to a
group of literary friends, including
Grant Allen and Frederic Harrison,
who regularly wintered on the French
Riviera. When it was suggested to
him that he ought to write them, he
declared that to write and publish
short stories less good than the best
was repugnant to him.
"But your stories are in the very
front rank, Harris," they assured
him.
"Yes—you think so. But are they
equal to Maupassant's best?"
Next year Harris returned with
same of the stories set up in type
says Richards). He had hacl them
pulled in "galley" so that he might,
with the least possible trouble, sub-
ject them to correction and correc-
tion. All his friends had to read the
proofs and listen to arguments about
the advisability of altering this ad-
jective, of omitting that comma.
Meticulous? 'Yes, indeed. His case
resembled that of Walter "iter or,
FREE TRIAL OFFER
KU:Hi
If you have never tried Kruschen_tryl
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You have tried Kruse ren free at our expente.
What could be fairer ? Manufactured by
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Classified Advertising
A.ETZCLES TOR SALE,
Bi7ATTY PUMPS ARE BEST AND
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BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES.
HIGH -CLASS DELICATESSEN AND
dairy produce, profitabl. business.
Tobacco -stationery, money-maker. Both
bargains. Business Service Bureau. ?t
Adelaide West, Toronto.
Mrs. Reginald de Koven's first
meeting with Oscar Wilde took place
in the London apartment of her
friend, Mrs. Montton.
"Where in the world do you come
from?" demanded Oscar in a. loud
voice aftgr the presentation had been
made.
"I was bern in Chicago," Mrs. de
Koven replied.
"There was a look of horror In his
expression," declares Mrs. de Koven
in "A Musician and His Wife," "as
he answered: 'Never, no, never; your
parents have deceived you!' "
* *
W. Somerset Maugham, who has
made a lot of money from his plays
and novels during the last thirty
years, is also one of the ablest physi-
cians and surgeons in England. He
is a member of the Royal College
of Surgeons and a licentiate of the
Royal College of Physicians. Mang -
ham's first novel, "Liza of Lam-
beth," took literary London by storm.
* * a
er
ri
w
the
b
a
se
to
t
0
Wins Pop -Corn Contract
1,. r.' „lyra; ; pollpinrr 101' C. l.. 11 •ri ;las of Oklahoma, giro
hex hocn awardeca the contrac•t to furnish 500,000 patinae of pop ill
01 the Chicago world's fair.
=PRESENTATIVE WANTED
Dr. Maugham has a brother, Fred -
ick Harrison Maugham, noted bar-
ster and a King's Counsel, who also
:elds a literary pen. He is the au-
r of "The Case of Juan Calas,"
Bing a study of a real case—that of
Huguenot cloth merchant who was
ntenced by the Parliament of Ton -
use to be broken on the wheel for
. he murder of his son.
That was in the "good old days,"
f course!
HIGHLY SPONSORED GOLD
syndicate requir s a man of re-
sponsibility as representative in this
to
right party. Write t908 Sive terling Tower,
Toronto.
riG PUzzLIs.
iZ,HE "MUDDLE" -300. Extra thick
pieces, large size. Beautiful pic-
tures. We sell thousands weekly in To-
stamps.�i Flack led nNovei receipt Co 26c each,
Sher-
bourne St., Toronto.
WOOL.
1"MARINERS
A heir WoDESIROUS
lfmanufactured Hor ING
e
changed for woollen goods, write The
Horn Bros. Woollen Co. Ltd., Lindsay,
Ontario.—
Dr.
ntario.-
City Woods
"Go to the woods, little Son?
There are no woods out here."
He leads me to a spot
Where, sharp and clear,
Against the sky they stand—
A dozen trees or co.
"See? Aren't they near?"
A tiny clump of woods
In the, midst of a city's roar;
A brave little patch of treea
With branches high that soar
To catch the breeze and rustle it
Amid the leaves they wore.
Closer month by month
The city creeps.
Dwellings, stores, the railways want
more land.
Hard by a lumber yard reaps
Frequent harvest,
Flaunting triumphantly its lumber
Stacked in neat white heaps.
To him it was a forest vast.
To me?
But yes. As I look upward through
the trees
The city sounds draw back.
I see
Again the creep, cool woods back home,
With wild flowers blooming
Underneath each tree.
—Lois King Backus.
LITEBAB.Y
rl ANADIAN AUTHORS AND COM-
.) POSERS . are invited to • forward
MSS of all types to publishers of thirty
years' standing. Fifty pounds cash offer-
ed for Poems. Current Catalogues and
full advice free. Ltd„ 29 Address,
Ludgate Hill, London, England.
PATETS.
N OFFER TO EVERY INV INTOR.
List of wanted inventions and full
information sent free. The Bamaal Caro -
petal, World Patent Attorneys, 273 Bank
Street, Ottawa, Canada.
ICISESEB.Y WPOCZ.
1-1 RIDER NURSERY STOCK DIRECT.
Save dollars by getting my pricers
itemson OzeidpropNursery,
Fonth Lint. A. Rosi,
PARMS rz. R SALE.
NN OVA SCOTIA F.'.R.MS FOR SALE.
Also hotels, businesses, summer re-
sorts. Free list. Hugh McCallum_ Truro.
Queen Mary Favors
Green and Gold
For Color Scheme
When the Queen redecorated her
favorite sitting -room at Buckingham
Palace, she chose a charmin color
scheme in green, white and gold, the
green being in a particularly restful
shade, with the white and gold intro-
:uced in the ceiling decoration.
It is not easy to clan the decoration
of the private rooms in a Palace
) ere the pleasant hone -like atmos-
phere is desired without, however,
producing an effect that is out of
keeping with the background of an
official royal residence, but her Maj-
esty possesses a natural flair for
choosing gowns that suit the occasion,
alel decoration;; that harmonize ,witb
their setting.
Greer. rooms are already having a
vogue and their popularity is likely
to inereitse in Louden with the
Qu.een's example.
'Possibly, indccd, the Quee i may b7
regarded is the leader of the eevivee
green -room fnehion. She carried otit a
11 rtiLula rly sueccssful scheme al
Sandringham, her mach beloved coun-
try Bone, ;elm time ago, v.1 -,ere her
iv ate sittirrt; r00m there was l.e;le,c-
FOR CONSTIPATION
dire in smaller Asa
SAFE SCIENTIFIC
Tokio population 5 Millions
Tokio is the largest city in Japan,
with a population of approximately,
5,000,000.
OFF COLOUR?
HOW IS YOUR LIVER?
Wake up your Liver Bile
—Without Calomel
Your liver's a very small organ, but it cer-
tainly can put your digestive and eliminative
organs out of kilter, by refusing to pour out its
daily two pounds of liquid bile into your bowels
You won't completely correct Buell a condition
by taking salts, oil, mineral water, laxative cantly
or chewing gum, or roughage. When they"ro
moved your bowels they're through—and you
peed a liver stimulant.
Carter's Little Liver Pills will soon bring back
the sunshine into your life. They're purely vege-
table. Safe. Bure. Ask for them by name. Refute
aulastitutea. 25c at all druggists. 48
YOU can ram good money in spare titan at
home making display cards. No telling of
canvassing. Welnatructyou, furaiah com-
plete outfit and supply you with work.
Write to -day for free booklet.
The MENHENITT COMPANY, Limited
647 Dominion 181dg., Toronto, Ont. �t
Why Suffer will
Skive Troubles when
Cutieura
Quickly Heals
Soap 250. Ointment tic. and 90c.
20
CUTS & SORES
Apply Minard's freely. It
washes out poison and
cleanses. Any wound heats
quickly after its use.
There's nothing bolted
emoomesesessiesesassmomsaiesinatiefter
ISSUE No. 13---'33