HomeMy WebLinkAboutZurich Herald, 1937-07-29, Page 6fr
SLICVERY THEN
y Slab. s
"Ne Matter Row Thin You Slice It * It's Still Brilency'"
„.r„si tela ti.is..e "Seven-up' appeuring frequentlyon our streets
and in our newsl;apecs (Advt.) it might not bb to inappropriate
pptia t ancient
turned over the dump of our memory and tried t up
story about that pastime. We think It was Irvin` Cobbathabeen ldous
first, but we make no apologies for that as it has
policy to try and steal from *the best sources.
And that reminds 1
u ---after- tile Great War was over, a friend
d us
at
duri
of ours who was mixed up in that affair informeth tell thus
the four years he was oeel:seas he tried countlesstimes
ttale but never could remember how,« it went.
Of course stories that require explanation generally fall as flat
as pit on a plate, in view of the fact that the illustrious sport of
Seven -be as
we to bwevt 11 you that th eta eefivedegenerate
ways of scorn it
ig
alightbeaseglif
a point in the game; one each for high, jack and game; one for the
player who plays low; and also, if the non -dealer doesn't like the
ump turned up he can "beg” for it to be changed --and the dealer,
refusing to make such change, gives his opponent a point instead.
* * *
So now, after all this wordiness, let's try and get started. It
was down in the hill -billy country in the south, and Lafe Hawkins
had been hauled into court on a charge of assault, battery, mayhem a'
and attempt to murder Lem Yokum. «
Lem was a sorry sight indeed as the judge looked him over—in
fact he appeared as if he had received the going-over of his life.
"Lafe Hawkins,” said the judge sternly, "thabeforeryetand
nds
the evidence of what ye clone. What have ye got toy Yos
if. anything?"
* * •
"Well, jedge, it's a sad story," began the defendant. "It hap-
pened this -away. Lem! and me had been a-settin' in the back room
of the tavern, a-playin of Seven-up—seven p'ints to the game—and
two bits on every game. • « * *
'I had been a-losin' steady all afternoon, till I were down to
my last two -bits in the world. And then along Come this game and
the score stood six for me, o n ; m.
for `e
Lem
"It
beggede somgindeal,
so I him one,dole
and the playand
up trump.
began."
* * « *
He flang his ace—and I played ray tray for low. He flang his
king—I played my ten. He Hang his queen—and I played the jack."
"And then, jedge, then—the mizzable skunk flang his deuce
and I hit him." * * * *
The suggestion is being put forth that the Athletic Commission
—in future boxing bouts—should be prepared to over -rule the de-
cision of judges, or referee, in case they think that anything is
wrong with same..
* * * *
Which, with due apologies to everybody concerned, certainly
sounds screwey to us. What is the use of having officials in charge
of a bout if their word is not to be taken—and what control can
they hope to have if they are in there knowing that their decision
may be reversed? * * * *
If the Commissioners are better judges of who won or lost a
fight, then why, in the name of common sense, not let them do the
judging right from the start?
• * * «
It all sounds too much like what appears to be happening in
the vicinity of Queen's Park. A man is put in charge of a depart-
ment, and is supposed to be in control of it.
* * * «
But if he makes a decision that doesn't meet with the approval
of certain quarters, along comes the Big Head Man and cancels that
decision with no;more hesitancy than if he was telling an office boy
to head in.
* * « *
And the nominal chief of the department has to take it—and
try and like it—or else.
• `.—«eerwrille=b-drreVrrey and
keep it out of sport—or one of these days there won't be any sport
left.
With his message of good cl e,nrrl
['to carries bopo and oonlidenO'
To those assailed by fear,
So here's a song to the Optimist
Who joyously works and slags
And daily shows this weary world
The way to better things, —
--Grenville K.leiser ;fi.
Clipped - "Where there is a nail!'
there is a way, and where there is to
will there are -a lot of Righting rola."
tives."
Be was very fat and stood behind
an irritable old wotnan in a lin that
was waiting to get in a show:
She -- Stop pushing; can't you?"
lIe — "Excuse me, madame. l did
not push, I only sighed,"
tuff and .
Nonsense
We don't believe times are as good
as they say. There doesn't seem to
be enough insurance agents bothering
us.
Clothier — "Were you pleased with.
the overcoat I sold you?"
Customer — "Oh, yes. All my boys
have worn it."
Clothier — "Well! Well!"
Customer — —"Yes, each time it
has been worn in the rain the next
smallest ine has take it."
Go-getters are not always keepers.
Some unhappy marriages might
be prevented if the method suggested
by the following from the Pathfinder
were adopted.
Young Man — "Sir, your charming
/laughter has invited me to dinner."
Her Father — "I'll do better than
that. I'll invite you to breakfast. And
then you can see how she looks In
the morning without her makeup."
To tell a funny story, tell the point
and omit the story.
Mrs, Smith rushed into her living
room.
Mrs, Smith — -"Oh, John, I dropped
ray diamond ring off my finger •and I
can't find it anywhere."
John (calmly) — "It's all right
dear. I came across it in my trousers
pocket."
Hairy Customer -- "Hair cut, singe,
shampoo, mustache clipped and the
beard trininied, and — er — where
can I put this cigar?" •
Barber -- "Would you mind keep-
ing it in your mouth, sir, "It'll be sort
of a landmark,"
Visitor — "I can't tell you how de-
.. STOPPED IN A MINUTE ..
Are you tormented with the itching t .rtures of
eczema, rashes, athlete's feet. eruptions, or other
*kin afflictions? For quick and Happy relief,
eae cooling, antiseptic, liquid D. D. D.
Prescriptlorf. Its gentle oils soothe the irri-
tated skin, Clear, greaseless and stainless --
dries fast. Stops the most Intense Stelling
instantly, A 350 trialbottle, tet drub stores,
ptoses it—or motto back,
20
Issue NO. 31—'37
lighted I am, Mrs. Giles. My son Reg-
gie has won a scholarship."
Farmer's Wife — "I can understand
your feelings, ma'am. I felt just the
same when our pig won a blue ribbon
at the County Fair.
Pat wanted to borrow some money
from Michael, who happened to have
a small boy,with him at the moment.
Pat —• "'Tis a. fine boy you have
there with you, Mike. A magnificent
head and noble features. Could you
loan me ten?"
Mike — "I could not. 'Tis me wife's
child by her first husband."
Read it or not — "Angels do not
have wings."
THE OPTIMIST
I sing a song to the Optimist,
To the man that is brave and strong,
Who keeps his head when things go
right,
And smiles when things go wrong.
I am proud of the genial Optimist,
His radiant voice an dspeech;
Ho helps smooth the rugged Path
Of all within his reach.
I like the way of the Optimist
Who looks for the bright an dthe best
He scatters sunshine as he goes
And leaves his fellows blest,
I am glad to meet the Optimist,
Good definition of Salesmanship
"The art of selling products that will
not come back to customers who will"
Loss In Ayrshire By,
Caterpillar Plague'
EDINBURGH.—A plague of cat-
erpillars is causing extensive damage
to the sheep pasturage in the Achil
Hils near Glendevon. One sheep far
men reckons he has already lost over
a thousand acres of grazing, while
he has already found it necesary to
bring his sheep down to the winter
feeding.
Acre after acre is swarming with
caterpillars, the largest about two
inches long, steadily on the move,
and not only eating the grass, , but
burrowing down to the roots as%eil.
The caterpillars are of a species
identified with the hill pastures and
causing serious damage in "epidemic"
form. They have a. processionary
habit, moving from place to place:
It was stated that a similar plague
had broken out to an alarming de-
gree in Southern Ayrshire, the sheep
hirsel of Dunside four miles south, of
New Cumnock, being seriously affect=.
ed.
Owing to the number of dead cat-
erpillars lying in the field drains and
streams in the Denny watershed, it
has been considered advisable to ,shut
off the upper reservoir at Overton in
Case the grubs should find their way
into the water supply, which is unfil-
tered.
There has been a spread of the
plague in the direction of Loch
Coulter.
•
Beggars' Congress
Hundreds of beggars from all
over Poland recently attended a con-
gress near Warsaw to debate on the
subject of begging operations car-
ried on In the nearby health resorts,
wlicae visitors are looked on by the
fraternity as a natural source of in-
oome.
Hotel proprietors, anidous to keep
,their victims to themselves suggest-
ed that a ttu on visitorsmight raeet
'the case, if the proceeds were shared
out among the beggars. 13ut the lat-
tor refused point-blank, on the
ground that their "old and noble tra-
dition" should not be allowed ' to die
out.
Jojne Arbus, who was elected
leader of the beggars, comes of a
longline of professional vngrapts,
his father, grandfatherand great-
grandfather having followed the same
road, as do his eight successful chil-
dren. The one white sheep in the
family, was a son who went into re-
spectable trade, 'and was turfed out
for letting his relations down.
Sturdy Pcc:' ants
The Windsor Daily Star writes: --
People ask howit is that France Can
survive what seems to be body blows
that would take the starch out of
most countries. The present politi.
cal predicament of an unbalanced
budget and a terriffic debt is just
another phase of the troubles and
crises through which the French2Dllave
passed in recent years.
The answer is that a sturdy peas-
ant people form the backbone of
France. They are a frugal folk, who
live in a harsh manner, but they are
hard-working, honest and God -fear-
ing. They fake life as they find it,
which is pretty hard at times. But
they face life with a determination
to wrest a.livelihood. from the soil, no
matter what may happen to hinder
or impede their efforts.
Those sturdy French peasants
make a nation that has met and con-
quered such adversities as invasion
twice within half a. century, Politi-
cians may go, cities may prosper and
cities may be depresrlt d, but the
French farming communities go on
and on, winning a hard living from
the soil by honest toil, and building
a national fabric that endures no
matter what may try to wreck it.
Str.•'Allge World
Education Note: A 22 -year-old
driver, fined £1 at Margate for driv-
ing as a learner without a qualified
driver, pleaded that as he was un-
able to read or write he was ignor-
ant of the regulations. His wife had
applied for a driving license for him.
Hen's Kittens: An Ohio ben has
taken under her wing 7 kittens de-
serted by their mother.
Fried to Swallow Bus: The arm
of a mechanical excavator swept out
A spectacular feature of the' Coron-
ation Year Jamboree of the Scouts
and Cubs of Winnipeg was a living
Coronation Crown, composed of 700
Wolf Cubs Another feature was a
great "Scout World Friendship Wheel
the living Scout spokes of which, re-
presenting the different Scouting
countries of the world, revolved,, sing-
ing, about a figure representing.. the
Scouts' patron saint, St, George. On
a giant checker board small Wolf
Cub checker men hopped about as
they were moved in an actual game.
Continued evidence of the practical
value of Boy Scout training recently.
brought the gift of headquarters
buildings to the Scout Troops of three
Ontario towns. A new club house in
Agricultural Park, Owen Sound was
presented by the Town Council and
formally opened by His Worship May-
or
ayor Jackson. At Sarnia a new Scout
home, to be known as Coronation
Hall, was presented the local Scout
Association by Mrs. W. J. Hanna, and
at Tillsonburg the Bell Telephone Co
were the donors of a building on
condition that the Scouts remove'd it
to a site given by Miss Cora Ander-
son.
An experimental camp for sightless
Boy Scouts of the Scout' troop of the
Blind Scheel, of Bebala, Calcutta, was
counted a promising success. The 19
blind lads, in groups of five, were in
charge of "sighted" Scouts, and took
care of all camp details except the
cooking. A three mile hike was one
of the Scouting experiences greatly
enjoyed by the boys. Because of the
tidiness ..of the camp, and the smart
appearance of the boys, visitors at
first did not recognize that the Boy
Scouts were sightless.
"Smiling Mixture" Is a medicinal
novelty at the Rosemary Convales-
cent Home for Boy Scents at Herne
Bay, England. The mixture, which is
plain vinegar and water, hangs on the
wall, with the prescription. "This mix-
ture to be taken in tablespoons three
times a day for non-grinnicus, nftn•
laffieus, and any who have the dole-
ful dumps and dismals." It has only
been used once -- by a nurse!
"If all boys were in the Boy Scout
movement, many magistrates and
police would soon be out of a job." —
Magistrate S. 13. Arnold, of Chatham
Ontario.
and grabbed the side of a 32 -seater
bus in Kent, ripping it from end to
end.
50 Years Late: Tho widow of
Dr. Hillard, of Grimsby, Ontario,
who died in 1919, bas just received
a -letter from an anonymous writer,
enclosing 41 in settlement of a debt
owing to her husband over 50 years
ago.
The Game's the Thing: ,k ' High
Wycombe cricketer bad almost reach-
ed the pitch to bat'in a village Crick-
et match when .a lad rushed on to the
pitch crying, "Come at once, your
house has fallen in 1" "Good," said
the batsman, taking a careful '"mid-
dle and leg." He played a steady in-
nings, put his 'team on the way to
victory, then went home to his cen-
tury -old cottage. The front garden
was a mound of bricks and debris.
Tinned Frog: A factory has been
built in Bosnia for tinning snails and
frogs' legs.
Grandmother's Chair
My grandmother, she, at the age of
eighty-three,
One day in May was taken ill and
died;
And after she . was dead, the will of
course was read
By a lawyer as we all stood by his
side.
To my brother it was found she had
left a hundred pounds,
The same unto my sister, I declare;
But when it came to me, the lawyer
said, "I see
She has left to you her old arm
chair,"
Chorus:
And how they titer'd, how they
chaff'd,
How my brother and sister laughed;
When they heard the lawyer declare
Granny had only left to me her old
arm chair.
1 tho't it hardly fair, still I said I did
not care,
And in the evening took the chair
away;
The neighbours they me chaff'd, my
brother at me laughed,
And said it will be useful, John, some
day;
When you settle down in life; find
some girl to be your wife,
You'll find it very handy, I declare;
On a cold and frosty -night when the
fire is burning bright
You can then sit in your old arm
chair.
What, my brother said was true, for
in a year or two,
Strange to say I settled down in mar-
ried life;
I first a girl did court and then tha
ring I bought,
Toole her to church and then was my
The oldirl and me were as happy
••oa�Ic7 asp,• . ,.._W; ..� _ _.,,.�
For when, my work was over, I de-
clare,
I neer abroad would roam but each
night would stay at home,
Ansi be seated in my old arm chair.
One night the chair fell down, when
I picic'd it up I found
The seat had fallen out upon the
floor;
And there, to Iny surprise, I saw be-
fore my eyes,
A lot of notes, two thousand pounds
or more.
When my brother heard of this, the
fellow, I confess,
Went nearly mad with rage and tore
-- his hair;
But I only laugh'd at him, and then
said unto him, Jun,
Don't you wish you had the old arm
chair.
"Flocking" To Britain
LONDON.—A decision to make an
experimental export of 36,000 mut-
ton sheep to the London market has
been reached at a meeting of the
Livestock and Mer` Control Board of
Johannesburg.
Shipments are to begin as soon as
the required shipping space is avail-
able. They will cover a period of
12 weelcs, during which 3,000 sheep
are to be exported each wee;
The main decision for this decision
is to avoid- overstocking on farms,
which this year will carry a particu-
larly high percentage of sheep.
eereeeeefeeleekieeitee
les
Without
a Sigh For Rudy, Dancer Sails For Cannes With Troupe
eelle
ti.
▪ paAka!
':::
�? eutt>'aaw>x�iE�ap�_
•
00,
siet
•
Eveiyti Gresham (third from left) smiles' farewell, to New York in Cannes, !+ranee, where awn is her the French Count who is ruin -
as she 7"a00 ',kWh • members of a thawing troupe for an engagement �• Dred to have replaced Rudy Vallee in her heart.
A COAST-TO-COAST
"SMOKE -UP"
Wise roll -your -owners will tell you
Ogden's is the feature of the smoke -
enjoyment programme. They know
that,finerflavour and cooler, smoother
smoking are assured --every time --
with Ogden's Fine Cut and "Vogue"
or "Chantecler" papers.
And there's a bigger 15c. package
of Ogden's, now!
Soap "And Water
Don't Harm Eggs
Curator Gives Collection Careful
Bath
MILWAUKEE.—Even the dainty..
egg of a ruby -throated humming. bird .
came unimpaired through a soap and
water bath to which 3,328 eggs were
subjected at the Milwaukee museum.
Marvin H. Adams, assistant cura-
tor of birds and mammals, applied a
soft brush to the collection to prepare
it for new show eases after it had
been withdrawn from exhibition for
a time.
All of the eggs excepting one are
from North American birds. There
are 795 sets from 720 species and
sub -species, and 84 nests. Derivation
of the collection ranges from the ex-'
tinct passenger pigeon to the alba-
tross and the California condor.
They were gathered, often at risk
of his life, by the late Benjamin
Goss, a native of Pewaukee, Wis. Be-
fore his death in 1893 he had eggs
of all the North . American birds
known to his contemporary ornith-
ologists.
Women On The Farm
CHARLOTTETOWN, Branches
of agriculture that can well be' de-.�
veloped by women were fruit, vege-
table and hicken canning; poultry
raising, butter making, bee keeping i
and production of honey, raising of
pigs for bacon, gardening, and small I
fruit growing, according to replies to 1
a questionnaire sent, out by the Pro-
vincial Convener of Canadian Indus-
tries, Mrs. W. A. Alley, of the Prince
Edward Island Women's Institutes.
Noble Industry
HEREFORD, England.—Declai ing
the 'oldest and most- noble indus-
tries in the world" were tilling' the 1
soil and breeding cattle, the Arch-
bishop of Canterbury. said the old ,
England of the West Country was l
the England kinsmen overseas looked
upon as the motherland.
Classified Advertising
AGENTS WANTED
lig1lECLUSIVI] AGENCY, MAN OR WOMAN,
4L4 Malte money easily, selling new patented
Clothes Pins. Sells quickly. Ten cents a dozen, ,
Man one dollar, special twenty dozen trial.
Fox Agencies, 21 Icing St. East, 'r' mow, ,
AGENTS WANTED)
JRTRAIT AGENTS WRITE FOR CATA-
lopuc and prices - Big money malting
proposition. United Art, Toronto 2.
YHU'rotlitA1'iiv
'all NLARGE,Mi NT IrRE 1 were Cvulty
4 25 cent order Roll alms developed anO
eight prints 25 cents, reprint:+ •i rents each,
nriphtling, 25 Richmond Street Past, Toronto,
COLLECTION SERVICE'
NTARIO COLLECTION AGDNCItS, EX. -
perienced Collection Service, Bailiffs,
Star Bldg„ 'Toronto.
11,41GOS WANTED; warm: need ST
P-4 premlu.t earl n ell grades; bapk rel-
nrenees, A. , ramit, Kone Ave., Toronto,
Started Chicks, Pullets, Cockerels
•.w , woes of I r,u'let*, rred
T.e••*^.) G. +70 d'': r)• ckere'4 13-rrerl
$8.95. Three week old pullets, Barred Rocks,
510.55; Leghorn. $23.45; Cockerels Barred,
Rocks, $12.05. Four week old pullets, Bar-
red Rocks, $24,95; Leghorns, 523.45. Flea
week old pullets, Barred Rocks, $20.05: Leg -
horns, 533.45. Four-six week old pullets, as-
sorted breeds, $24.45,
All stock from Government Approved Blood.
Tested Breeders. Shipped C.O.D. anywhere.
Write for prices on six weeks to 20
week old pullets.
Twarini.n c:llrmx HATCHERY LIMITED,
PERCES, Ont,
Baden Started Chicks, Pullets.
and Cockerels
All from Givernnient Approved Blood Tested
Breeders, sated by Big Government ApjiroVed
Males,
TWe week old Cockerels, Barred, 'Ineaks,
$8.451 pullets Barred Reeks, $11.40; ,Leg -
horns, $11.955. Three week old 0001(61'61s,Barred ,Rocks, $12,45; putlete Barred 13oeks,
$23,40; Leghorns, $21.05. Four week' old
pullets Barred Rocks, $28.40; Leghorns, 1
$26.95. Assorted pullets four=sax weeks 'Old,
$25.40. Shipped 0.0.1), anywhere. Write for
prices on Older pullets 8, weeks to 20.,week*
old, ,
BATfEf1 ELECTRIC CI -110E ISATC1'3ERT,
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