Zurich Citizens News, 1971-04-15, Page 4-.r
PAGE FOUR.,
ZURICH CITIZENS NEWS
THURSDAY, APRIL 15, 1971
Does It Pay The Fanner To Farm?
Many ptople look on the farmer as a perennial complainer
who is never satisfied. We had reason to believe this week, that
at least some of his complaints are well founded.
One Durham area farmer, on Monday, brought in his return
slip for eggs which had been picked up at his farm. At first glance
it looked like a market report from the early part of the. century.
Closer study, however, revealed that it actually was an egg
return of a few days previous. When the grading machine had
finished its job, he received $1.07 for six and three-quarter
dozen eggs.
In the Grade A section the price received by the farmer ranged
fron 21¢ for extra large to 18¢ for A large, and 12¢ and 5¢ for a
medium and small, respectfully. Grade B's returned the farmer
12¢ per dozen, while Grade C's dropped to 5¢ On the whole this
averages out to slightly less than 16¢ per dozen, or slightly better
than 1 1/4 cents per egg.
Our farmer friend was curious. He inquired as to the price
of feed and was told that wheat would cost him $3.95 per
hundredweight, corn $3.40 and barley $3. 80. No one seems
to know the exact capacity of a laying hen's gullet, but after
a few inquiries, about half a pound of feed per day seems a
fair estimate. On the basis of these figures, it would appear that
it would cost about two cents a day to board a wheat -eating hen.
And this figure does not take into consideration the farmers'
time, the provision of housing and nests, or vitamins or oyster
shell or whatever else it takes to keep hens happy. It seems
unhappy or unhealthy hens don't produce their egg a day.
If the above figures are correct, it would mean that if a
farmer had a flock of 120 hens, all laying one Grade A Large
egg per day, he would have a daily return from his flock of $1. 80.
On the other hand, if he were buying wheat to feed his flock, it
would cost him $2.40 per day - for a loss of 60¢ or half a cent
per hen per day.
Even with a co-operative flock of hens, all producing Grade A
Extra Large eggs, the farmer would find it difficult to break even.
Unfortunately, few such flocks exist. Even in the best of flocks
there's always a few lead -swingers producing 12¢ or even 5¢ per
dozen eggs.
Think about it, friend urban reader. Soon you may have to
find a substitute for your breakfast eggs ---there may come a
day when the farmer can't afford to produce them.
(The Durham Cronicle)
Quite A Bit Of Truth
We heard a story the other day which, unlike most current
jokes, carried an underlying element of truth that can hardly
be overlooked.
It seems that one of the hard-working farmers in the area
was reported to the Department of Labor, supposedly for unfair
and illegal practice in regard to his hired help.
One day, as he was working out in the barn a stranger approach-
ed and introduced himself as an official investigator from Queen's
Park. The newcomer asked the farmer if he would mind answering
a few questions.
"Fire away, " said the man of the soil.
"Do you have any hired help in your farming operations?"
was the first question.
"Oh, yes, " our rural friend replied, "I have a hired man."
The next query was, "How much do you pay him, on an
hourly basis?"
"I think I pay him pretty good. He gets $3.50 an hour as
well as hospitalization and health insurance, free meals and roo m
and my wife does all his washing and ironing. Then every once
in a while T have to lend him my car so he can get into town and
drink a bit of beer."
"Well, there's certainly nothing wrong with the way you treat
that fellow, " said the inspector. "But perhaps you have some
other help around the place?"
Somewhat off -handedly the farmer admitted that was the case.
"Yeah", he conceded. "there's the idiot."
Right away the investigator sensed something different. "And
what does the idiot do?" he wanted to know.
"Oh, he cleans out the stables and empties the garbage. He
has to get up in the night if we happen to have a sick cow. The
regular hired man doesn't like heavy work so whenever we have
any rough jobs the idiot usually does the slugging. He even helps
my wife with the housecleaning sometimes."
Aha, thought the inspector, now we're really finding out
about this operation. Casually he inquired about remuneration
for this hard-working individual.
The fanner admitted that the man wasn't overly well paid.
It developed that he got a little bit out of the egg money, but
that was pretty slim pickings at present. They made sure he had
enough makin's to roll his cigarettes and let him go to the show
on Saturday nights.
Thinking that he really had a case on his hands the investig-
ator said, "Well, mister, looks like you're in deep trouble."
Whipping out a fresh supply of ruled forms to be filled in quad-
ruplicate and his trusty ballpoint, he demanded, "Alright, what's
the idiot's name and where can I find him?"
"Nothing difficult about that, " answered the land -owner.
"You're talking to him right now."
(Wingham Advance Times)
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THE HONEST THIEF
STILL MUST PAY
Towards the end of a long,
dreary winter like this year's,
even the most jubilant of spirits
begin to flag. The world takes
on a gray monotony, about the
colour and taste of English gravy.
We seem to be suspended in a
vague nightmare in which we are
swimming in porridge, with no
land in sight. We have forgotten
the glory of the individual spirit
and our fellow -beings seem to
merge into the murk.
Right there is the point at
which we need a good spring
tonic. In the old days our moth-
ers gave us a physical one, in
the shape of a good purge, and
it seemed to help.
But in these days of instant
laxatives, we need something
for the spirit, not the body. I
got my tonic this year, just in
time. It was in the form of two
stories, both true. My faith in
the colour and vitality of the
human spirit was restored, and
I feel like living again.
The first one contained enough
irony and humanity to satisfy
the most demanding of writers.
It concerned a bank hold-up.
The manager was out to lunch
when the desperado struck. He
slipped a note to one of the teller
informing her that it was a stick-
up, then slipped a sawed-off
shotgun fromunder his coat, and
went to the front counter.
Chatting happily on the phone
to his girl -friend, the accountant
had his back to the villain. The
latter waited politely for him to
finish his call and get the mes-
sage.
A lady teller, trying to get
the accountant's attention, kept
=hissing at him, "Dave! Dave!"
He went blithely on, while the
robber began to drum his fingers
on the counter and showed a
touch of impatience.
Finally, he roared in a stentor-
ian voice, "DAVE!" Dave looked
over his shoulder and dropped
the phone as though it were red-
hot, as he looked into that shot-
gun barrel, about the size of a
Cyclops' eye.
The intruder shoved a bag at
Take Precautions
To Avoid Fires
As summer begins, so does the
grass fire season with its destruct-
ion of organic agrucultural mat-
ter.
Mr. K, E, Best, Ontario Depart
ment of Agriculture and Food
Agricultural Representative for
Haldimand County, says foresters
have several guidelines to help
farmers prevent grass fires.
All farmers should check with
local township offices to learn
the by-laws for controlling the
setting of fires, and should al-
ways notify the local fire dep-
artment before starting a burning
operation.
Fires should be started when
the wind is calm, when there is
plenty of manpower available,
in case the fire should get out of
hand, and when tools such as
shovels, brooms, and water
pails are close by for quick use.
Tractors and plows should be
kept in readiness. These are the
best tools for controlling a grass
fire on arable land, as they can
plow around an affected area
and prevent the fire spreading.
Dave and told him to fill it.
It was done and the visitor left
with what turned out to be $3,
000. He got away clean, though
three of the staff had rung alarm
bells which were directly con-
nected to the police station. A
customer saw the getaway car
and got the license number.
The chap was picked up about
a week later. A sordid little
story? Not at all. This was no
ordinary hood. This was a man o!
character.
He didn't go careening off in
a mad chase with police bullets
and tires screaming. He drove a
few blocks to a hotel, went in
and had a few drinks. Sensible
chap.
What did the hold-up man do
with the money? He went to his
own bank and paid off a $500
loan. Then he went to a finance
company and paid them $1, 000.
he owed them.
What a pity he was caught!
An honest man who paid his debt;
pushed by them into an armed -
robbery charge. A man of char-
acter.
The second story is also true.
I just missed seeing it, but an
eye -witness filled me in. It's
a cowboy story.
The hero lives in a small
town. He owns and rides a beaut-
iful horse. On a recent Saturday,
he rode uptown, feeling no pain.
He wanted his horse to enjoy life
too, so he took him to a hotel
and tried to take him into the
beer parlour. Unaccountably, he
was refused.
Undaunted, he took his steed
across the street to a tavern and
tried to buy him a double.
Foiled again, he was trying to
lead his pal into the beverage
room of the other hotel in town,
when the law arrived.
It was no contest. The cowboy
told the cop exactly what he
thought of him, for about twenty
minutes. He then mounted Old
Paint and galloped up the side-
walk of the main street, scatter-
ing old ladies into snowbanks
and children into store doorways.
Allegedly, when the constable
was asked why he didn't put the
strong arm on the cowboy, he
'replied, "I didn't know what to
do with the dam' horse." And a
perfectly sensible answer.
Don't ever let anyone tell you
that Canadians are a dull, mousy
colourless lot. Jesse James was
a violent clod and Dodge City a
home for old ladies, compared
to this bank robber and this cow-
boy.
Photography
Children • Portraits
• Weddings •
COLOR or BLACK & WHITE
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