HomeMy WebLinkAboutZurich Citizens News, 1964-10-22, Page 7THURSDAY, OCTOBER 22, 1964
ZURICH CITIZENS NEWS
PAGE SEVEN.
tlegatua i
I've decided to write a book.
Not because 1 want to. Not be-
cause I have a message. Not be-
cause I think anybody will buy
it. Because a fellow has dared
me to.
He was a publisher. I told
him hundreds of people •-- nay,
thousands—had asked me when
r was going to produce a book
made up of my columns. This
was a big, fat lie, of course. I
think the total of the queries
was between 12 and 13.
He was nice about itv if a
little teely-eyed. He agreed
that there'd be a big sale, if 1
bought the 1,000 copies I prom-
ised to buy, to give away to my
friends. (They'd be getting
about 120 copies each ,at that
rate, but they could give them
away to THEIR friends.)
He agreed that the whole
thing was a great idea. For
some other publisher. But he
sort of took the steem out of
my self steem when he came
out with the logical statement,
"If a book is worth publishing,
it's worth writing."
This is the sort of thing pub-
Iishers sit around thinking up,
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when they're not worrying
about some of us great writers
getting away from them. Which
they don't seem to spend an ex-
cess of time doing. Unfortun-
ately, writers can't flash back
with "If a book is worth writing,
it's worth publishing". Mainly
because it isn't true.
What's the book going to be
about? Well, that's still on the
secret list, because 1 don't know.
But after looking over a few
shelves of books at the local
library„ I know that pulishers
will print almost any kind of
garbage.
So, if it's garbage they want,
rm going to make up the big-
gest literary garbage pail that
has ever been set before the
public. It's going to be cram-
med . with sex, violence, delin-
quent teenagers, corrupt poli-
ticians, dope fiends, alcoholics,
doctors, cowboys, how to raise
prize zinnias, favorite recipes,
and all the other ingerdients of
the most successful books.
It will be autobiographical, of
course. At first, I thought that
might be a little difficult, as
I've led rather a sheltered life.
then I realized that all I had
to do was decorate things a
little. Gild the Billy, so to
speak.
Thus, instead of going to high
school and being on the football
team and going steady, in the
book I'll be the leader of a
group of teenage terrorists who
get their kicks out of setting
fire to nursing homes, under
the influence of heroin.
Instead of joining the air
force and becoming an officer
and a fighter pilot and having
a ball most of the time, in the.
book I'll be an army private, in.
tellectual and embittered, un-
der the whip of a sadistic cap-
tain,
Instead ofspending a year in
a sanatorium, loafing, laughing,
DASHWOOD and. DISTRICT
(MRS. E. H. RADER, Correspondent)
'LWML Meeting
The quarterly meeting of the
Lutheran Missionary League
was held Wednesday, October
14, in Zion Lutheran Church,
with the pastor, Rev. William
Gatz, discussing the topic, "Test-
ing Our Faith", The president,
Mrs. Ken Keller, presided for
the business. Mrs. Leonard
Schenk reported on the biennial
convention held at Monkton re-
cently. The ladies brought
baby clothes for layettes for
foreign missions and used cloth-
ing is acceptable during Oc-
tober.
Dashwood Safety Guards
The first meeting of the 4-H
girls was held at the Dashwood
Community Hall Monday, Octo-
ber 19, with 18 girls present
and the leaders, Mrs. Leonard
playing chess and reading, in
the book I9.1 spend. a year in a
mental institution with. a gang
of perverts, alkies, junkies and
a doctor straight out of Edgar
Allan Poe.
Instead of becoming a weekly
editor, writing about sewers and
such, in the book I'll be an .ad-
vertising executive with three
mistresses, no morals and an
unlimited expense account.
Instead of becoming a docile
English teacher peddling meta
fors and similes, in the book
I'll be a famous television per-
sonality with great talent and
no scruples, who poisons the
minds of his listeners with clev-
erly disguised racial prejudice
a n d completely undisguised
commercials about armpits.
How does it sound? You like
it? Oh, you don't. Weil, in that
case, I'll just have to write a
dull, insipid book about dull, in-
sipid old things that really hap-
pened.
Boy, are you ever going to be
bored reading about the time
the two nine-year-old girls cor-
nered me in the tree house and
kissed me. Or the time I fell in'
love with the Brazilian girl in
the dead of a Canadian winter.
Or the time the Old Battleaxe
chased me through the snow in
her dressing gown, trying to hit
me with a phone she'd yanked
off the wall. Or the time I was
beaten up by four old men.
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Schenk and Mrs, Rudolph Mil-
ler. The project is "The Club
Girl Stands on Guard",
The roll call for next meeting
is to tell one item you plan to
include in your first aid kit.
After opening . with the 4-11
pledge, the following officers
were elected: President, Jo-
anne Martine; vice-president,
Norma Weigand; secretary and
press reporter, Diane Weber.
Pamphlets were distributed
and the club name discussed.
It was decided to change the
name from Merry Maids to
Safety Guards. The require-
ments of a club girl and the
record books were discussed.
The girls took notes on "The
Club Girl as a Canadian Citi-
zen". The first aid kits and
what will go in each were also
talked about. The meeting
closed with "0 Canada",
LLL Rally
The Lutheran Laymen League
rally was held Sunday, October
18, at Mount Olive Lutheran
Church, London, with several
members attending from Zion
Lutheran Church.
Work of the Lutheran Hour
was discussed and it is hoped
that the Lutheran Hour, On-
tario, will be self-supporting by
1967. Ideas and materials were
presented to make club meet-
ings more interesting. The
m o v i e, "Breakthrough", w a s
shown, stressing that clubs be
more interested in work for
God rather than being busy.
Gordon Kraft, zone president,
presided for the business. In-
quiries will be made as to cost
and available space for a dis-
play at Western Fair, London,
next year.
A social evening will be held
at Dashwood Community Centre
in November. All LLL mem-
bers are invited.
A buffet supper was served
and the group was entertained
by the Beatle Bed Bugs. Clos-
ing devotions were conducted
by the Dashwood League.
Personals
Mr. and Mrs. Ferd Miller vis-
ited on Sunday with Mr. and
Mrs. Art Bierling and Milton,
of Exeter.
Sunday visitors with Mr. and
Mrs. Ray VanDorsselaer were
Mrs. Mabel Burmeister; Mr. and
Mrs. Harold Gilbert; Mr. and.
Mrs. Carmen Eckmier and
Paul, and Mr. and Mrs. David
Fongrad, all of Stratford; Mr.
and Mrs. William Haugh; Mr.
and Mrs. Elmer Rader and fam-
ily, and Clarence Parke.
Mr. and Mrs. Rudolph Miller
spent Sunday with Mr. and Mrs.
Seigfried Miller and family, of
London.
Herbert Truemner, who has
been ill in hospital in Flint,
Mich., since June, was brought
to the Desjardine nursing home
in Exeter by the Hoffman am-
bulance on Wednesday. Mr.
Truemner is a son of the late
Daniel Truemner, who resided
on the Goshen Line.
Mr. and Mrs. Reinhold Miller
visited on Sunday with Mr. and
Mrs. Colin Hindley .and family,
of London, and also attended
the LLL rally at London on
Sunday.
?r. and Mrs. Carl Heppler, of
Waterloo, were week -end visi-
tors with Mr. and Mrs. Harry
Hoffman and. family.
Mr. and Mrs. Floyd Kraft and
Pay, of Eston, Sask., visited
with the former's aunt, Miss
Pearl Kraft, and other relatives
last week. Mr. and Mrs. Albert
Heximer, of Willoughby, were
recent visitors with Miss Kraft.
Rev. and Mrs. Bruce Seebach.
and family, of Hamilton, were
week -end visitors with Mrs.
Cora Gaiser.
Mrs. Jack Gaiser and Kim
have returned after spending
some time wth her mother, Mrs.
Wilbur Stewart, of London.
Mr. and Mrs. Jack Huffman,
of Port Colborne, and Mr. and
Mrs. Syd Baker spent a week
on a trip through the Allegheny
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Mr. and Mrs. Melvin Guen-
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