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Home My WebLink AboutZurich Citizens News, 1964-04-23, Page 2PAGE TWO ZURICH CITIZENS NEWS THURSDAY, APRIL 23, 1964 ZURICH Citizens NEWS HERB TURKHEIM -- Editor and Publisher PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING at ZURICH, ONTARIO Authorized as Second Class Mail, Post Office Department, Ottawa and for the payment of postage in cash. Member: Member: � ONTARIO WEEKLY CANADIAN WEEKLY �y► NEWSPAPERS NEWSPAPERS ASSOCIATION ASSOCIATION Subscription Rates: $3,00 per year in advance, in Canada; $4.00 in United States and Foreign; single copies 7 cents and Television Snooping It gets harder and harder to tell little white lies. As things have been so far in the tele- vision industry, it is possible to make some defence against the intrusions of pollsters, by telling the voice on the telephone what- ever you choose to tell. The telephone rings while you are watching your favorite program. You scowl at the interruption. but you meekly answer that tyrant, the telephone's ring. A voice asks politely whether your set is turned on and what program you have tuned in. The only thing you need to have handy is the newspaper, with its listings of pro- grams on the air at that moment. There is nothing to prevent your running an eye down the list, picking the one you would like to be caught watching, and telling the voice of the pollster that you are listening to Prof. Smith's discussion of atypical se- quences in the 19th Century constitutional practice. It will be an answer, and it will satisfy the pollster, and then you can go back to watching the ranchers and rustlers bang away at each other with those marvel- lous six-shooters that can fire 17 shots without reloading. The bad thing in the news is the de- scription of a new device exhibited at a conference of engineers in Chicago this month. The device can count how many television sets are turned on in a house, and can determined to what channels they are turned. A trucks containing the equip- ment of this device could roam the streets, picking up tiny signals which are radiated by all television sets. The signals can be calibrated to show what channel is being received by each set in the neighborhood. The viewers in the houses would not be aware that the tabulation was being made. It would be entertaining to get a job in that cruising truck, and watch all the signals go dim whenever the commercial come on.—(Stratford-Beacon Herald) SUGAR and SPICE, IliWliu,hi„;r,:a,:; By Bill Smiley If ever you decide to do some research on the lower forms of wit, I can tell you how to go about it, Just get yourself a black eye. I had a doozer recently. My wife gave it to me. All right. Not that way. She was sitting in the car, waiting for me to carry the groceries into the house, through the rain.. Just as I bent and reached for the car door to open it .and ask her if that was all, she opened it smartly from the inside to ask me why I hadn't brought out an umbrella, 0 Mae, *IOW litallator mune— u.amc — .c a` upas - ao -MOW Special service bulletin for Mutual Life policyholders ve you bought home since you ught your Mutual Life insurance? If the answer is "Yes", , you've bought something you're mighty proud of and you have a right to be. After all, a home is probably the biggest invest- ment you'll make in a lifetime. You spent a lot of time choosing the right location, style and size. Those things were important because you bought the home for your wife and family too. And you'll want to make sure that they will go on living there even if you are not around. Your Company, The Mutual Life of Canada, can arrange a repayment plan to guarantee that your family will have a debt -free home. Call your repitesentative or mail: the coupon below for further information. The Mutual Life I ASSURANCE COMPANY OF CANADA 1 HEAD OFFICE: WATERLOO, ONTARIO/ESTABLISHED 1869 I I am interested in learning how I can provide a debt -free home for my family. 1 NAME STREET 1 CITY PROVINCE einem wow ML.64•4C 1 1 1 BRANCH OFFICE; Bank of Montreal Building Stratford, Ont, C. W. Leach, Branch Manager. When the door nailed me in the eye, I thought 1 was a goner. My wife shrieked and ran straight into the house to see whether my "loss of limb or eye" accident policy was paid up. Within a few minutes, the eye was the size and color of a bartender's beezer. But by the time we'd finished arguing about whose fault it had been, it was obvious that I'd live, 1., .h. We didn't have a piece of steak, and if we'd had, I doubt that it would have been sacri- ficed. But the Old Girl, bless her, dug out some hamburg that. was going a bit blue, and made me lie down with a big ham- burg poultice on the injured optic. Right off the ice, it felt pret- ty good at that, and I dropped off to sleep, moaning but brave. During the night, the bandage worked loose, and when I woke in the dark, I thought the eye had fallen out, But it was only hamburg, all over the pillow. "Yotta see the other guy," I quipped. I can go along with a joke as well as the next bird. But after a while, in fact if I remember rightly, it was just after the fourteenth "Hoo hit- cha?", I began getting a little sore. I mean, fun's fun, you know, but, after all. So, when the next ioker made his move, 1 told him, dolefully, that a maiden lady who didn't like my column had thrown acid in my face, and that I'd never have the sight of it again. He turned green. My next customer was a woman, who tittered, "That'll teach you to write things about Next morning, the orb looked like a purple golf ball. We patched it up as best we could, and 1 set off to face the wits. The comments were hilarious. They ranged from the simple, dry brilliance of "Hoo hitcha?" and "Forgot to duck, eh?" to the coy, insinuating, "I knew she'd catch up with ya some day". They ran the scintillat- ing gamut from the inevitable, "I suppose ya ran into a door" to the ineffably humorous sally, "Meet the former welterweight champ of the Smiley house- hold. I came back with some real funnies myself. "My wife," I replied. "Footwork isn't what it used to be," I admitted. BLACK CHERRY WHIP 11is cups evaporated milk 1 (15 -oz.) can "Canada Choice" Sweet Bing Cherries 1 (3 -oz.) package black cherry jelly powder 1/4 cup dry sherry or orange juice 1/2 tablespoon lemon juice This recipe prepared espe- cially for this series by Dairy • Foods Service Bureau. Makes 10 Servings Freeze evaporated milk in freezer tray until crystals form around edge of tray. Halve and pit drained cher- ries, reserving juice. Heat juice to boiling point; add jelly powder; stir until dis- solved. Stir in remaining in- gredients; cook slightly. Stir all but 10 cherry halves into jelly and chill until soft- ly set. Fold stiff -whipped chilled evaporated milk into gelatine mixture. Spoon into sherbets, garnish with re- maining cherry halves, chill until set. (.about 3 hours) your wife in that column of yours." I gave her a gentle, sad look from my good ey4; and suggested that she not let the divorce alienate her from my wife. I left her with her mouth open. I quickly disposed of an eld- erly lady, strong in the temper- ance movement, by informing her the injury had been re- ceived from my young daughter, when she clubbed me on the eye with a half -empty whiskey bottle. It's good sport. Next time the old trouble -and -strife hangs one on you, Jack, you'll know what to do. Ontario has all the bigness, all the variety for one of the most exciting vacations of your life. Ontario covers 415,000 square miles, packed with fas- cinating things to see. Like old castles and cathedrals, art gal- leries, and long sandy beaches, red -coated Mounties and mag- nificent wilderness, canlibns a d charming side -walk cafes. Your Ontario is a stirring, exciting place. Take this sum- mer to explore. For more information write, Ontario Department of Travel,Room 270, Parliament Bldgs., Toronto, Ontario. HONOURABLE JAMES AULD, Minister ei-w.w oNTARso The Ontario Department of Health CORDIALLY INVITE YOU TO VISIT THE ONTARIO HOSPITAL GODERICH, ONTARIO It is the belief of your Department of Health that illness of any kind is a community affair—that every citizen has -a basic interest, a basic desire, to understand and assist. To help you become full aware of of the professional help available to the people of this province we welcome the opportunity to show you our facilities and how they are being used. You are invited to visit the hospital at the following times and dates during mental health week: Open House and Tours SUN., APRIL 26 1 P.M. — 4 P.M. WED., APRIL 29 1 P.M. — 4 P.M. Mental Health Films — Mon., Wed., Fri. at 7 Any group may visit at other times during the by appointment. Mental Health Week APRIL 26 — MAY 2 p.m. week Ontario Hospital, Goderich HON. MATTHEW B. DYMOND, M.D., MINISTER Business and Professional Directory ACCOUNTANTS ROY N. BENTLEY PUBLIC ACCOUNTANT GODERICH P.O. Box 478 Dial 524-9521 AUCTIONEERS ALVIN WALPER PROVINCIAL LICENSED AUCTIONEER For your sale, large or small courteous and efficient service at all times. "Service that Satisfies" PHONE 119 DASHWOOD LEGAL Sell &i Laughton BARRISTERS, SOLICITORS & NOTARY PUBLIC ELMER D. BELL, Q.C. C. V. LAUGHTON, Q.C. Zurich Office Tuesday Afternoon EXETER 235.0440 HURON and ERIE DEBENTURES CANADA TRUST CERTIFICATES 51/4% for 3, 4 and 5 years 5% for 2 years 43/4% for 1 year GENERAL INSURANCES Fire, Automobile, Premises Liablility, Casualty, Sickness and Accident, etc. An Independent Agent representing Canadian Companies J. W. HABERER Authorized Representative PHONE 161 -- ZURICH OPTOMETRY J. E. LONGSTAFF OPTOMETRIST SEAFORTH — Phone 791 Tuesday, Thursday, Friday 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Saturday: 9 a.m. to 12 noon CLINTON. — Dial 482-7010 Monday and Wednesday 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Norman Martin OPTOMETRIST Office Hours: 9-12 A.M. — 1:30-6 P.M. Closed all. day Wednesday Phone 235-2433 Exeter FUNERAL DIRECTORS WESTLAKE Funeral Home AMBULANCE and PORTABLE OXYGEN SERVICE Phone 89J or 89W ZURICH For Safety EVERY FARMER NEEDS Liability Insurance For Information About An Insurance -- Call BERT KLOPP Phone 93 r 1 or 220 Zurich Representing CO-OPERATORS INSURANCE ASSOCIATION f 1