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Zurich Herald, 1932-11-17, Page 7Owl. ago; Do You Rernetnber? No other piece of jewelry z•Ias ever meant the, salve to me As the simple little ornament Concerning which I sing, Let's give a word of fulsome praise To the trinket of our d'hildhood days— The horseshoe nail the blacksmith bent And made into a ring. Meek—"In England to 'take orders' means to enter the church." Peck -"It's slightly different over Isereiyou enter the church, get mar- ried and .then take orders." Young Husband—"Do you know, InY clear, there's something wrong with the cake. It doesn't taste right." Toting Bride (triumphantly)—"That is all your imagination, for it says in my new cookery book that it is de- licious:" A policeman caught her in the act oT tearing a letter into tiny bits, which she threw to the ground in the park, and the following conversation took place: Policeman—"You ought to know bet- ter, miss, than to throw rubbish around In the park." "She -"What impudence! That's not trash; that's a love letter from my very best boy friend." The` Wreck "No, sir, the trouble is not due to any lack of care on you part. It seems to me that your power is not being transmitted properly, and it's my opinion that there is a breakdown in the ignition system.. Of course, if you in:'st, I can have one of my me- chanics thoroughly overhaul it. But I fear that it would be a complete waste of time. I feel reasonably certain that the damage is irreparable. My advice to you, my dear sir, is to purchase an- other cigarette lighter." Old Lady (on platform)—"Which platform for the Montreal train?" Porter—"Turn to the left and you'll -be right." Old Lady—"Don't be impertinent, my man." Porter—"All right, then, turn to your right and you'll be left." The only man who became a physi- cal marvel through correspondence courses is the mailman who carried the lessons about on his back. Policeman—"Why 'did you call me? Is that pian annoying you?" Old. Maid—"No, but he's trying to get away." 'Experiments show that kissing stimulates the heart action and is For $6.60 1 Will ;You' 'Up - In' . Business showing 100 per cent profit of a rapidly' selling article. A few ex- clusive territories open for hustlers. Send 50c, to cover cost of sample, postage, packing uites 29,x34 Tarticulars. Mr. oronto street, Toronto. "Feeling Terrible Airs. Mc KenGie Strongly Recom-' mends Dr. WilliamsPink Pills for Worn-out Women "I was oompletu:, worn out from loon ig after a very cross baby night and day,' writes Mrs. James Me Kenzie, Glenboro Man, "I became very thin and had several bad spells of dizziness. My legs and back ached, and I was feel - int; just terrible when I started tali •g Dr. Williams' Pink Pills. I soon real- ized I was getting much stronger. I gained in weight, and felt like a new 'person. I strongly recommend Dr, Williams' Pink Pills." Mrs. McKenzie is but o• of thous- ands of women who have been won- derfully helped by Dr. Williams' Pink Pills and who have written in to tell how the rich new blood created by these Pills' -rebuilt exhausted nervous systems and, restored these sufferers to vigorous health. Give Dr. Williams' Pink Pills a fair trial for run-down or nervous conditions. 50c a package at your druggist's. Soon Much Stronger therefore a healthful form of exercise. .And with a good looker a fellow wouldn't mind doing his daily dozen. Slave Driver Our idea of the meanest man in the world is the man who was deaf and never told his barber. Mrs. Onthego—"They say Mrs. Tea - whiffle plays golf just like a man." Mrs. Clubber — "She should be ashamed to use such language." Many man who thinks lie is lead- ing a bride to the altar is being pushed there himself but doesn't realize it. Bim—"My wife has been nursing a grouch for several days." Bain—"0b, •I didn't know you were ill." A woman asks why it is that when a woman complains of being tired and worn out the doctor always asks to see her tongue? Diner—"What's this leathery stuff?" Waiter—"That is fillet of sole sir." Diner—"Well, take it away and see if you can't get me a nice piece of up- per with the buttons off." Most married men expect to find all bachelors millionaires. They would be if it wasn't for the girls. • Record Apple Crop Owen Sound. — A record-breaking apple crop for 1932 in the Beaver Bailey district, both as to quality and quantity, is forecast by George H. Mitchell, of the Georgian Bay Fruit Growers; Limited. Mr. Mitchell said that the Georgian Bay Fruit Grwoers, Limited, would ship this year fully 25,000 barrels. This is several thousand barrels greater than in any previous season, CEMERIMISIMEIEIZOESENIt e» ACID STOMACH. PON TaoaslAs our To Acle IHDIorrTION soup sioN"c" H,ART1UaH COH,TIPATION. "blade In Canada" ® If rich foods disagree, it need not mean a "weak stomach." Sourness and gas doesn't mean "indigestion." Just take an anti -acid to sweeten the system, and enjoy life! Before meals, or afterward when distress is felt. Do this awhile, and stomach and bowels will be in fine order. Use only genuine Phillips' Milk of Magnesia; it is standard. The other preparations do not have the same anti -acid action. ALSO IN TABLET FORM: Phillips" Milk of Magnesia Tablets are now on sale at drug stores everywhere. Bach tiny tablet is the equivalent of a teaspoonul of genuine Phillips' Milk of Magnesia. OUR CROSS -WARD PUZZLE 1' Ho.'zontal 1—Ladies 6—Homeless wanderers 11—Charm 13—FInally 14—Higher 15—Those suffering for faith 17—Article 18—Modern 20—Trench River 21—Mus' - • ' :Ace 22—Gin 24—Beverage 25—To unite 26—Son of Seth 28—Narrow 30—Targets 32-2pikes of grain, 33—Black 35—To defile 37 Kitchen vessels 38—Roll of hair 90—Want 42—Floor eov ing 43 -Pertaining to court 45—To ,understand 46—Exists 4'7—Sharp cornered 49—Sun god 50—Releases 52 -Merchant 54—Revises 55—Discards Vertical 1—To cow 2—Electrical unit 3—Greek letter 4—Tree 5—Sea mammal 6—Article of the salve class 7—Beast of burdeii 8—Pronoun 9—Boast 10—Church body 12—Jog 13—Harp shaped 16—Bonds 19 -Lacking 21—Flowers 23—Rhymsters 25—Nobleman 27—Dry 29—Old war instrument 31—Shakes 33—Ceased 34—River of Japan 36—Grinned maliciously 37—Self-respect 39—Combat 41—Loved ones 43—Insects 44—Vehicles 47 Island 48 -Cheer 51—Note of scale 53—Prefix: darn DOES OWN HOUSE- WORK AT 70 With the Help of Kruschen "For nine years now I have used Kruschen Salts and could not do witu- out them I take a third of a teaspoon in a cup of water as hot as I can !rink it. No sickness, .no headaches now. I am 70 years of age in .April, and just with taking Kruschen Salts am able to do all my household duties myself. I recommend Kruschen to allmy neighbours. Before I began taking it I was never away from the doctor, but now I never need him. I used to have sick headaches and then was not able to do anything. But now it is differ- ent—thanks iffer-ent thanks to Kruschen Sal �.'•'- (Mrs.) J. G. Kruschen keeps the organs of the body working actively,, cleanses all clogging impurities from the system, and sends clear, vigorous blood cours- ing through the veins. And the re- sult? An end to all Life's minor -1 and miseries. No more headaches, tiredness, depression, "nerves," or constipation. Instead, a sensation . delightful freshness, high spirits, happy outlook—in short, sheer good health! Traditional Sea Terms Retained in British Navy London.—After a hot engagement, the British Navy has driven off those two modern raiders, "Left" and "Right," and nailed its wheel to the time. -honored term., Port end Star- board. But the encounter has left its mark. Hitherto naval helm orders have resulted in the ship turning to the left when the man at the wheel was apparently being told to turn it to the right. From Jan. 1, 1933, however, "direct" orders will be is- sued. For the first six months of the new system, the order will be "Wheel to port" or "Wheel to star- board." Afterward the precaution- ary "wheel to" will be dropped. The original proposal, which aroused the fiercest opposition among seafaring folk, was that not only should the helm' orders be direct in- stead of indirect, but that port and. starboard should also make way for plain, land-lubberly left and right, Though port has ,scarcely acquired its sea legs—having only ousted ,lar- board a century or so—it has al- ready made itself, a general favorite both fore and aft. Resolutions against the plan poured in from old salts in all parts of the country. In the end, both sides emerged triumph- ant with half their original demand satisfied. . The new helm orde.'s will come into force for the British Mercan- tile Marine on the same day as for the navy. CLEAR ALL WIRES "Put up your hands!" commanded the larger of two bandits who bad stopped the coach. "We're goin' to rob the gents and kiss all the Iadles." "No," remonstrated the smaller one, gallantly. "We'll rob the gents all right, but we'll leave the ladles alone." "Young man," snapped a female passenger of uncertain age, "mind your own business! Your friend's Managing this hold-ups" Legion Weekly. Smart Street Frock By HELEN WILLIAMS. T7'ttstratecl Dressmaking Lesson Fur- nished With Every Pattern Delightfully becoming, smart and wearable is this coat type frock for late summer and early fall. Its lines are so fluid and slimming. There are several ways of carrying out this model. For instance, in hya- cinth blue crepe silk, it's stunning for late summer. For fall, a Borde:.ux-red tweed is sportive and decidedly new and smart. Blaci crepe satin is another nice medium. Stylt No. 3085 is designed for sizes 16, 18 years, 36, 38, 40 and 42 inches bust. Size 36 requires 43 yards of Easy Teething "Baby cut all his teeth with no trouble, thanks to BABY'S OWN TABLETS," writes Mrs, Thomas Shaw, Hamilton, Ont. Scores of other Mothers have written in similar vein. Give YOUR child BABY'S OWN TABLETS for teething troubles, upset. stomach, simple fevers, colic, colds, constipation, sleeplessness, or whenever he is cross, restless and fretful. Easy to take as candy, and absolutely SAFE— see analyst's certificate in each 25 -cent package. Over 1,250,000 packages sold in 1931: 243 Dr. Williams' BABY'S OWN TABLETS 0194 SAVE MONEY AOR SMOKERS DIXIE ONLY 20c A BIG PLUG 36 -inch material with % yard of 39- iilch contrasting. HOW TO ORDER PATTERNS. Ns/lite your name and address plain- ly, giving Dumber and size of such patterns as you want. Enclose 15c '.n stamps or coin (coin preferred; wrap it carefully) for each number, and address your order to Wilson Pattern Service, 73 West Adelaide St., Toronto. ANSWER TO LAST WEEK'S PUZZLE JIG SPORE SPA• ONE T A X E D E W B A T E R I G 0 T0P%//,XNEED R 11 0 L raWW1SVA D1T A l' Y L A DIts T T L E LI A1I GASr I 11 L0G1Cf%B1D.FAT SN -ITGveSIli T 0 D S R 0 I4 P S'////r. POI D B G E E A B 0 ILL SLING EKE ALONE. END Tunnel Money Saver Paris.—A tunnel which in a few months is estimated to have saved motorists in France more than 500,- 000 francs ($20,000 at 25) has been officially inaugurated at Tenne, on the eastern edge of FrFance. Although less than 400 meters in length, the tunnel reduces the time required to go from Lyons to Aix- les-Bains by half an hour for auto- mobiles and by more than two hours for trucks. It is cut through the Mont du Chat, a steep slope which isolated the rich agricultural district of Yenne from the rest of the Depart- ment of Savoie. When a man goes fishing he may not catch a long fish, but he generally comes home with a long yarn. 11 0 0 1 magazine Agent ISSUE No. 46—'32 Mien or Women to handle the town agency taping subscriptions to all magazines. An opportunity to make a splendid living. Write Mr. Hall, Domlttion Publications Bureau, 21 Ring St. East, Toronto. Classified Advertising t AN OFFER TO EVERY INVENTOR: List of wanted intentions and Dull Information sent free. The Ramsay Coag any. World Patent Attorneys. 273 hank Street, Ottawa, Canada. 'p EMEDIHS FOR ALL SICKNESSES: l� WinnipegWrite Mrs,, Man. Ana Penner, 303 Burns St„ n ULLETS, YEARLING HENS AN]71 cockerels, Barred Rocks, Whi G RWyandottes and Leghorns. 3. Tweddle, Fergus, Ont. IF MADE OF RUBBER, WRIT1iPP0R; catalogue. Rubber specialties rubber' stamps, cameras, balloons. Universal Specialty Co., Box 2704, Montreal, FORMULA. A NY FORMULA, $1.0C EACH. WRITIft 1g'. Midland Laboratory, 308 Burns St.j' Winuil,ag, Dian. THAT DEPRESSED FEELING IS LARGELY LIVER Wake up your Liver Bile —Without Calomel You aro "feeling punk" simply because your liver isn't pouring its daily two pounds of liquid bile into your bowels. Digestion and elimination are both hampered, and your entire system is being poisoned. • What you need is a liver stimulant. Some- thing that goes farther than salts, mineral water, oil, laxative candy or chewing gum orroughage which only move the bowels—ignoring the real mouse of trouble, your liver. Take Carter's Little Liver Pills, Purely vege- table, No harsh calomel (mercury). Safe. Sure. Ask for them by name. Refuse substitutes. 25o. at all druggists. till GROW MUSHROOMS EARN $30 AND UPWARDS WEEK- LY growing mushrooms in your cellar or outbuilding'. We buy. Write for free booklet. Pioneer ltlushroo Co., 32 Orchard View Blvd., Toronto. T.B.—A FREE BOOK 5,000 TO BE GIVEN AWAY Any sufferer from this disease who has not yet read the book recently published at 3 /6d, by an English phy- sician, on the treatment and cure of Tixberculosis, may have a t-Seta•.e- the supply lasts, lent free r charge to any address. Applications to Enoch J. Ewicker, New eermany, N.`. Sluggish intestinal systems lower re- sistance to colds. Cleanse them with Peen -a -mint, the modern chewing gum laxative. Gentle, safe, non -habit. forming. More effective because you chew it. F 4-4 • • 0 3:(' % , Ci'•Ti.9",.*'� 14{�A- ," �.. i me• i: INSIST ON THE GENUINE Fee tooil•s hll � The Chewing Gum LAXATIVE For Adults and Children • 0.4..0.0 No Taste But the Mint • • ,. r• k I IS PERFECT ;Y'IPE The name is stomped on the stens—and the word, "PLUMB" is impressed in white on the mouthpiece. BEWARE OF IMITATIONS foo Awidevariety of medeii to ehoore from. LUTILUAA Quickly Heals Pimples, Rashes and Eczema Soap 25c. Ointment 25c. and 50c. io mmadepyyp0,*.t CLrh w0colaan,h 22 NEURITIS P d' T1 h ' Pam eases tiff r Ono thingthat helps is to warm a dish, pour in Min - at s. ten rub the c liniment gently 1n. Model No.,169FT Trade enquiries to: RUBINOVICH HASKEL'L LIMITED 440 McGill St. t• Montroal,Qtto. SIMPLY WORN OH?, Take Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound Cam anything bo more wearing foci women than the ceaseless round oil householdldutiee? You have no time to• be sick .. a you are tired ..ailing' yet cannot stop. There comes a tint* whets eomethin4 snaps and you find yourself simply worn out. " Y Lydia E. Pinlcham's Vegetable Cont* pOund will help you. Its tonic fiction Will give you renbwed strength, end will make your daily tasks seem easier toyou, r to us say that they Are benefited by tb 98 out of every 100 women who rope'l mcditdTtyadtseooay .nbottle from revolts,