HomeMy WebLinkAboutZurich Herald, 1931-11-12, Page 7Owl Laffs
Something Tells Me
That the equare dance used to bo
a round of pleasure.
That too many tourists let their
guide be their conscience.
That there is no cure for a mani-
• cure.
That every book has a book end.
That they hold tournaments so that
all the people who think they are
good can find out about it.
That gossipers are export in their
Hine.
That a good sword -swallowing act
can be seen at any lunch -wagon
around meal time.
' That trouble-shooters should exploit
their services in a big way.
Lucky Bride
From a wedding announcement in
a Warren, 0., news Gaper: Mr. and
Mrs. H. — will go to housekeeping
on Elm Road. They have many
friends to elitead good dishes.
cense.. rate,'•ssays a .ci nio, "that will be
the final prook that love is blind,"
Prof,—Give me a definition of aboe.
Studs --It's the i11 woodwind that
nobody blows good.
Among the girls simplified dressing
is making a good showing, ... Once
upon a time there .vere two Irishmen.
There are lots of them now... , No
man ever loved a woman when he
was busy or had the toothache. .. .
A bachelo-• friend of ours has hay
fever so badly he sneezes when pass-
ing a grass widow . . . How dear
old ladies are shocked to see girls
do the things they vainly longed to
do at that age! . . . A fellow used
to court his girl with matrimony in
view. Now he touts a girl with al-
most everything else in view.... No
woman is half so truthful as her own
mirror.
Mama—What cr.r I do
you to go to bed
Youngster—You can let me sit
little longer.
A Mother—Run upstairs and wash
your face, darling. I think grandma
wants to take you driving with her.
Ruthie—Hadn't we better find out
for certain, Mummie?
to induce
up .t
He Thinks of Her
By Susanne Valentine Mitchell in
Harpers.
years have gone
saw her enter
Into the room she had
and mine,
since then time has
tidal measure,
Obliterating what was so
Covering with its pale
sands
The moving
hands,
Ten
And
since Last I
and
Days come and go,
her,
She is not my most constant memory.
And yet, deep down, beneath sunrise
and sunset,
She is the very heart of life to me,
And that still face that could so dance
and ,lame
Comes back to me, a lost, a lovely
shame.
made hers
flowed with
divine,
and heavy
motions of her
and often I forget
It was as still as is a summer twi-
light,
Oval, and molded to serenity
And brooding calm. The lips that
closed so firmly,
And were so red, so full of mystery,
Closed over speech like nothing man
has heard:
Since the first wind
branches stirred.
Reporter—Do your football men get
up bright and early?
Coach—No. Just early.
Coal Dealer -I say, Jones, I want
to insure my coal yards against fire.
What would : policy for $20,000 cost?
Jones—What coal is It? Same kind
as you sent me last?
Coal Dealer—Yes.
Jones—I wouldn't bother insuring it
if I were you. It won't burn.
Millionaire (lecturing his son on
the importance of economy)—When
I was your age I carried water for a
'gang of bricklayer:;.
Offspring I'm proud of you, father.
If it hadn't been for your pluck and
rseverance I might have had to do
something of that sort myself.
"If I dream that I have a million
dollars, what is that a sign of?" a
man wanted to know the other day.
"Well, it's a pretty good sign that he
'will meet with a great disappointment
when he wakes up.
Teacher—'phis is the worst composi-
r[lion in the class, so I'm going to
arite a note telling your father about
it
Pupil—I -don't care if you do, be -
(cause he wrote it.
"If the present hat styles result
in, no falling off in the marriage 11 -
MOURNING WARDROBE
".A. death occurred in our family
and I had to go in mourning. I
could hardly afford to buy all black
clothes, so decided to dye what I
had. I consulted our druggist and
he advised using Diamond Dyes.
Everything came out beautifully;
coats, wool dresses, stockings and
all. I have since learned to ap-
preciate the excellence of the black
Diamond Dyes. I tried another
black dye and the results were im-
possible. I had to get Diamond Dyes
and do the work over. Recently I
have tinted my curtains a beautiful
raspberry shade and dyed a rug a
lovely garnet with Diamond Dyes.
They are real money savers—the
finest dyes money can buy—I truly
believe."
Mrs. G.K.L., Montreal.
Stirred, and then spoke,
came a power,
The face became a triumph, and the
eyes
A bannered army in a molten sunset,
An army that defies
Time in my heart, or time upon the
evening.
When the still twilights visit me
again,
Again that passion and that calm
pass through me,
And I am shaken with an ancient
pain
Which grows not old, since she and
and pain aro one,
And grows not less. And so my
life runs on.
in the first
and then
be -
40
1'1►c � aO otttd-
,i .cz VI‘
formals'For
tg.
siesittce
KEEP YOURSELF
HEATHY
lot of mo.* people is much
week and little resift-
'Mae.tea, sensible,
vsibeesstain
dennangin elesns na
I)lr Ciseer'S 1.W.e Liver
AB ee 60 'yore
ltf tires.
25c az. 75c red packages
Ask your druggist for
TESliAtt T
tvis,,it the stake.
Screen Star Poses WO Her Daughte
,;aria Seller, came to Ancell;., . -from Germany not Tong ago
with her dad, and is seen here with her mother, Marlene Deitrich.
Maria seems to be a serious young -44.lerson.
The "Little Herne" That
C: uldn't Be Forgotten
The Old Farmhouse
The bobbing shadow of a leaf along
The whitewashed wall is such a
friendly thing;
And warm across the deep old kitch-
en sill
There comes the sweet and spicy,
comforting
Fragrance of peaches, by some chem-
istry
Known only in that shining scent-
ed place
Being distilled to gold translucency,
Precarious on this hill, small flow-
ers grace
The dooryard; as though loving the
dirt path,
The worn old steps of deeply dent-
ed wood.
The roof slopes close against a giant
oak,
And finds the wide -branched tower-
ing shelter good.
How dear this place to us who know
it best!
A peace is here past clumsy words
to tell.—
A dignity and sweetness and content,
Because it has been loved so long
and well.
Anita Laurie Cushing, in the
Christian Science Monitor.
Big Demand For Books
• 1i'.
All the big people who had seen him' juentiy, sometimes in payment of
or heard about him called him the febts, and at other times being pur-
"big, little horse." That was because, rehased at a good price because of his
standing fourteen hands high and,,' reputation, which had continued to
weighing about nine hundred and fifty ,'`spread through. he surrounding coun-
Pounds, Justin Morgan could lout -pull, l'itry.
out -walk, and out -step any of the'¢ For seven years he lived on a stock
larger and much heavier horses whom ,farm in Vermont. It was here that he
he ever met. 'left the several sons who were de -
There are a great many stories stined to become even more famous
about Justin Morgan told in Randolph,
Vermont, where he first became
known as an unusual horse, They
still tell how the "little horse'," pulled
Scientists Give Recipe
For Perfect Coffee
Another scientific investigation of
the best way to make coffee so that
the beverage will preserve the maxi-
mum of flavor and healthfulness has
been made by the Imperial Economic
Committee of Great Britain as a part
of the ,effort to popularize the kinds
of coffee grown in the British Em-
pire The method recommended In
the committee's report, published
recently as a British official docu-
ment, is the "steeping method" said
to be used by professional coffee
tasters to determine the relative flav-
ors of different samples of coffee
beans. The first essential, the re-
port states, is that the coffee be
freshly ground. Any convenient pot
or jug made of earthenware or
thick china then is warmed and a
supply of boiling water is provided
in another vessel. Two ounces of
the freshly ground coffee then are
placed in the warmed jug for each
pint of water that Is to be used. The
boiling water then is poured over
the coffee and the mixture is stirred
vigorously 'with a wooden spoon,
metal spoons being condemned as
likely to give the liquid undesirable
flavors. Some froth will rise to the
surface of the mixture of ground
coffee and boiling water. This is to
be slimmed off immediately with the i
wooden spoon. The coffee,
allowen
ll In
the earthenware jug, then
to stand in a warm place for SIX min-
utes to allow the grounds to settle.
A dash of cold water will assist this
settling. The beverage then is
ready to drink, although the Com-
mittee states that a small pinch of
salt will still further improve the
flavor.
than their hard-working sire. Thus he
gave to the country the first of the
great, "Morgan" family, renowned for
those four qualities of the perfect
a heavy pine log ten rods, when horses horse: speed, endurance, beauty and
weighing 1,200 pounds and over had;:gentleness.
failed to move it even a short d1s-i Ilene died in the winter of 'i:21 at the
tante. *Lage & twenty-nine, his strength unim-
But these stories that tell about the paired- by his years, Ilis death was
things he did by virtue of his tre4 by no means due to old age, but rather
mendous strength and courage, fail to;i to exposure and the lack of proper
tell the best story of all: how the' care following an injury received
"little horse" earned for himself and 1 while being rastured with other
gave to his family a name that is 'horses. 'e•'
known and venerated' aniong horse- l To -day, the Government considers
lovers the world over. -;,'e 'Morgan horses so valuable for Gov -
Justin Morgan was named after his' ernmer': work that it maintains an
owner, who had lived in a farm in extensive breeding farm in Middle -
the "Brush Hill" distriet;.Pf West- bury; Vermont, known as the Morgan
Springfield, Meepachusetesand later, horse Farm," where the Morgan
Oiling, the -farm, moved wivitti Iiis'.i ni= -Morse Club -fins erected : fine bronze
ily to Randolph, 'Vermont. I,f,'wes en statue to "the famous progeny of the
this "Brush Hill" farm teat Justin "big,' little horse," the ,first Morgan.
Morgan, the "little hors,'; was born And on the little "Brush Hill" farm
in 1703, foaled by "True Briton" or in West Springfield: Massachusetts,
Beautiful Bay, an English thorough- there has been placed a tablet that
bred who had changed owners during tells all who stop to read:
the Revolutionary War, and changed "From this, farm came the Stallion,
names as well. `Justin Morgan; progenitor of that
His life is touched with irony when useft breed known as Morgan
we consider that even though a sham- Horses."4.
pion of all horses in his neighborhood, r a Morgan horse is ;found,
he was not considered of any great 'to be recognized; `.rue to
value because, of his small size. ery particular; the "little
Mr. Morgan, who had first taken him at couldn't be forgotten.-
to his Vermont farm, died when the
colt was but five years ole. After
that, his namesake changed Bads fre-,
In British Isles
A boon in the sale of books is rag-
ing in England at present along simi-
lar lines as in Canada, according to
Mrs. Elinor Mordaunt, British author,
who wrote "Gin and Bitters" and sev-
eral other hooks on travel and adven-
ture.
dventure.
"People are buying books in Eng-
land and the publishers are eager to
get them," she said. "There is a
great demand in England for popular
books on science, also for the old
classics like Dickens and Thackeray.
Many of the magazines have dropped
out and the people are now reading `•
more books. Two of the most popular
periodicals deal with women's sub-
jects, including
ub-jects,inclnding dress, of course.
Classified Advertising
•
N OFFER TO EVERY INVENTOR
List of wanted inventions and full
information sent free, The Uatnsay Como
Pan'', World Patent Attorneys. 273 dank
Street. Ottawa Canada
r'Elea.L1 =LP W./2M 7I»
LADIISS WANTED TO DO LIGHT
sewing at home. good pay. Work
sent, charges paid. Stamp for particu-
lars, National Manufacturing Co., Mon-
treal.
['Ai A N C Y WORK CLPPINGS-300
Tilk pieces, $1.00: 2 pounds velvet,
Novelty, Spounds
Za hariet cotton, filen
`_ HIP US YOUR POULTRY AND,
►°� eggs. Highest market prices raid.
Write for quotations. Immediate settle-
ment by certified cheque. Crates loaned.
Give us a trial. Rosenfeld Poultry and.
Eg Co. Limited. Montreal.
Candidates for the City of London
Police in 1930 numbered 179, of
whom 77 were passed and 102 re-
jected on medical grounds.
One Name Village
Northamptonshire can boast of a
village in which one-third of the In-
ttabitent$ possess the same surname.
This is Bozeat, which has a popula-
tion of just over a thousand. Nearly
three hirrl iend of them have the sur-
name oi ,n age.
Many villages and small towns
can show surprising numbers of a
few surnames amongst their inhabi-
tants, ' to nowhere else is such a
large pa 'ontage of people with the
same name to be found. It is diffi-
cult to discover how it all happen-
ed. Surnames are a comparative-
ly modern institution, for in the old
days there were none. To i
still-
gttlsh between two Williams, ne
one
might,. be (referred to las
itobert'a son, and the other William
of me
from Ilandiey. In c
this was shortenedWilliam ilalliam nttleY, Rob-
aertson
gain, and be known by 'his
again, a man might
trade, John the smith becoming
John Smith.
'Where the Drages carie from is a
mystery, for there 1s no mention of
i them in the old records.
F
for COLICKY BABIES
... THROUGH CASTORIA'S
GENTLE REGULATION
The hest way to prevent colic,
doctors say, is to avoid gas in stom-
ach and bowels by keeping the en-
tire intestinal tract open, free from
waste. But remember this: a tiny
baby's tender little organs cannot
stand harsh treatment, They must
be gently urged. This is just the
time Castorla can help most. Cas-
toria, you know, is made specially
for babies and children. It is a
pure vegetable preparation, per-
fectly harmless. It contains no
harsh drugs, no narcotics. For years
it has helped mothers through try-
'hag
ry
"ing times with colicky babies and
children suffering with digestive
upsets, colds and fever. Keep
genuine Castorla on hand, with the
name:
It
ty,
hor
Rowland. Everett Baird, in "Our Dumb
Animals!'
CASTORIA
pheasant. She > e�.
For.ir of Arc was a, p _.... _.......__�.�.... _......
c rn^1rt by fowl play and burn -
1 ISSUE No. 45—'31
gar-Mufffs May Be Worn
To Shut Out Noise
Ear -muffs to shut out noise will be
the fashion if the din of American
cities keeps increasing according to
Dr. Donald A. Laird, psychologist of
Colgate University.
"Preventable noises cost emplpyers
5 per cent, of their payrolls anneally,
through the decreased efficiency of
workers," he declares, "and the
harmful effects of street and other
rackets continue even when persons
are asleep. Quieter offices, quieter
'bedrooms and other interiors in
�whiclr noises are deadened by sound -
absorbing upholsteries like mohair
velvet and other materials are ur-
gently needed to counteract the ef-
feet of city noises.
"Repeated tests have shown that
noise lowers efficiency," said Dr.
Laird. "High-pitched sounds are es-
peoially disturbing and harmful, but
these can be curbed to a marked de-
r ree;•by placing absorbent materials
'like 'mohair upholsteries and drapes
in an office or other interior. Bed-
rooms In which sound -absorbent fab-
rics are employed are likely to be
quieter than comparatively barren
rooms and are more suited to pur-
poses of rest. Even when we aro
asleep loud noises get in their harm-
ful .effects. They eause contraction
-of the muscles, thereby leading to
impairment of the digestive functi.one,
It. is literally true that loud sounds
iliiay cause that 'dark brown taste' in
the mouth after a night of uneasy
,slumber in a noisy environment."
.—_.....e.—.—
Liberty
Liberty is the right to do what The
tws allow; and if a citizen could do
tat they forbid, it would be no long-
{ ; liberty, because others would have
A man took a clock to a pawn -broker
in an effort to "raise the wind." "Is
it an eight-day clock?" asked th
pawnbroker. "I don't know," replied
the man. "I've never had it out more
than four days at a timet"
4". ....all.
Pdue to A id
anuses-tos
ACID STOMACH
hEARTetiRN
HEADACHE
GASES-NAUSEP
81
COLDS
Head Colds: Haat Minard's
and infialo 4'. Chest Colds
and, Sora Throats Heat, glen
rub well into affected parte.
Real relief ... 01t }Y 1
ire same powers.•-•-111entesquieu.
Ml the business :world needs now
a man who can bring orders out
�kI chaos.
TWO
u,' ►, OUR
STOMACH
TUST a tasteless dose of Philips'
j Milk of Magnesia in water. That
is an alkali, effective yet harmless. It
has been the standard antacid for
50 years. One spoonful will neutralize
at once many tames its volume in acid.
It's the right way, the quick, pleasant
and efficient way to kill all the
excess acid. The stomach becomes
sweet, the pain departs. You are
happy again in five minutes.
Don't depend on crude methods.
Employ the best way yet evolved in
J. the years of searching. That is
Phillips' Milk of Magnesia. Be sure
to get the genuine.
The ideal dentifrice for clean
teeth and healthy gums is Phillips"
Dental Magnesia, a superior tooth-
paste that safeguards against acid -
mouth. (Made in Canada.)
PEAT1IS AT 11
A Splendid Recovery
BECAUSE KRVSCHEN IAD
KEPT HER BLOOD CLEAN
Within 10 days of being oper•-ted on
for appe.ndicitis and tonsilitis, this
woman was heels in her own home.
And she is over 71 years of ago 1
When they told het the reason for her
remarkable recovery --clean blood -••--
she knew what it was that had helped
her. She remembered the daily dose of
Krusehen which she had taken for
nanny years. And she knew that one
of the things that Kruschen did with
absolute thoroughness, was to keep the
bloodstream free from impurities. She
wrote this soon after her return home
'''.I am an old woman over 71. I have
taken XXruscheri Salts for a number of
years, and find they keep me fit and
well. I had operations last May for
tonsilitis and appendicitis. I was
only away a fortnight and two days—
which is a very quick recovery for an
old woman, I reckon. Clean blood wn,
the reason for it, they told me and
I give ICrnschcn Salts the, credit edit• for
that. 1 recommend them ti.hc,-tvc
I go."—)i. It.
1" v
The six salts in Kruschen persuade the
organs of elimination•—liver, kidneys
and bowels—to function as they should
---often for the first time in their lives.
Instead of being clogged, the intestines
are clean and clear. Instead of liver
and kidneys being sluggish, they are
active and efficient. New, healthy
blood goes coursing through the veins—
carrying Health and. strength and energy
to every part of the body.
And I<ruschen's gentle but positive
action is more than merely purifying—
it has a direct tonic effect upon your
blood, ton, and through your blood-
stream upon every fibre of your body—
tills rnu with a bracing sense of
e"eo' ic' lis nets.
;;alis is obtainable at all
! ' •, et •:the. and 75c. per bottle.