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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Herald, 1902-08-29, Page 5A pampener. A young mu bashfully appreaohed a popular o`.;ic}til a few days ago and Ia:i itl: . '"Judge, I flare come to ask your ad- vice.: You have always been like a fa- ther to one, a.ud T have now come to you in•u.vi't'y important matter. I Atli thinking of getting married" - "Well, young mall," interrupted the judge, "it' you are thinking of getting married go do it right away. Don't wait, because the gir•I might not be w1111ng this thno tomorrow." "Dat, you see," protested the youth, "I'm nfr ld Ten not able to take care of hat:"" "Tut, tut," deprecatingly retorted the judge. ':Why, when I got married I was twenty-one years old and $1,800 in debt" "Is that so?" exclaimed the other, with happy encouragement gleaming from his eye. "And I suppose you moist now be worth about" - "And now," concluded the judge, "I'm only $3,000 in debt." The voting nine 'las not yet mar'•1ad. African Snakes. The African cobra is regarded some- what reverently by the natives of that country, who once a year Lill a cobra de capello and hang its skin to the helmet of a tree, tail downward. Then all the children born during the last year are brought out and made to touch the skin. This the parents think. puts them under the serpent's protec- tion. The cobra de capello divides with the horned viper of Africa the ques- tionable honor of being the "worm of the Nile," to whose venomous tooth Cleopatra's death was due. The liatlirs use the venom of this snake's cousin, the puff adder, to Pel- son their arrows. and when they have any small quantity left they swallow it, having a theory that it '1011 protect thein t'rolu the bad effects of future biters. The Snake tribe of the Punjab say that the bites of snakes do not hurt them, and if they tlnd a dead serpent they dress it in clothes and give It a superb funeral. .t Simple Care For Earache. "I nun afraid I have greatly inter- fered with my own paractire," Said a celebrated ebratted tourist, "by giving the fol- lowing atdivie a to .many of my friends: ".'it the Meat *looms of earache lot the loathed Ile on the bed with the i'tllhfut r';u' t:p h t'tl art. Fold a thick t'wi't unit tett!: it amulet the meek; thea with a ti'asII a L fill the ear with %%'arm water. "ebtttinut' doting this l'or fifteen or twenty minutes. The Water will till 'the ear urlllrr' atel tion' over on the towel. Afterward ward tarn over the head. !et the Water run out and ;icing; the ear with wane g;lyeerin and etottun. 'Phis nes av in! thane every hour mail relief lit ebtatiue'l. It hi an almost in- t of alrlr' a uta' and lovas save+d aunty 0i melte In tl;uttlt>atlun, The tett. ter eta:0W be Harte wearm, but nut tau Wt."- London 'q'it-RSils. e�rtllte ; 'the icing•*. Mr. The `dr'*Aire ate rot' epae^edlue, to parting galiet 1,' het to 'tC', Tile story from. ile''t- f.ufa sCilt `e. e.75. 1144 in the " VIt°trrtiaa Canna ty dtistero" tweile t'eet.e.41I' tldt• asue threit tried d u u Rine Janne 1. Iliaauteat:; load When the pan ee wf state me;alas In the tatecu.areleN aItee=tieynu , :lanai gone anarrnitse el fat -write lament! OuaaW teaiseeaag. The dog uapap cereal .ki' ate!tit do . leeetelt e as nee,' t: ul;,e tied Orn lute heel •i.;eeel fir. Jowl - etre owl -etre gee° pt; e.e yayua s•p eak to the king for ne pine' Dae.,t•utug you arra" ire. elaay and ser Cloth eel east that It will please lois mot- e til' to igen gee..: te' 1Lenaienan, fee else tete c.ouatuto e to ILD Ddu' aunoabo at', axil tour pee• a tetra. s e,peat :eleeevie. • Carly Muir. Persons sons w tbl auataau;alb$• 'curly hair file said to D>e pt,i . ental of insure lova- b1e and mullet ie:7tuat's than those with Wily r,r straight t ipidbary :adorn seat. On truest oec:aslerns the fact that we ate luuC:ing our best is a tvonadcrful in- centive to• geed behavior, and the Wo- man With nuaataai li clads tan diseoanit her straight bailed sitter many a thine facet ult. Slate I:aittWn it. VY'lay 1;14ttlae1 S111? not he amiable': 'Straight Haim' was toncidea•e=d by the :uneieuts as a itadirli of the goody displeasure. bail w bfkh %vas streiglot tre'mure sickness will sonse- titaaes grew verily afteriv .id. What IIe Wrote 6n. Staaa•c•elieg: t1h. w is Mere- ture -]'fret rate." -'Writing enytlauaag now?" "1"e,s, a hr t,::... "What hat (>la'r "Au empty stvtu'arua re-hoe/pally. You co: itha't lenel me the prr'ice of a dinuea•. could you?" Pleasant Por the I.e'er. in Mexico the young men ran show great attention to young ladies and at very little. expense. They are there- fore quite .eager to Invite them to theaters. parties. etc. And no wonder, for it is the custom in that country for the lady's father to pay for the tickets and furnish Coe carriage, supper, etc. Pineapple Juice The Lancet points out that fresh pineapple juice contains res remarkably active digestive principle similar to pepsin. This principle has been termed .'bromelin." and so powerful is its Se- Iio>i upon proteids that it will digest as much as a thousand times its weight within a few Lours. More F print. "The girl who jilted a poet and mar- ried a butcher did an eccentric Bring" "Not at all. She recognized the great fact that beefsteak is more dlling than blink verse." The true test of civilization Is not the census or the size of cities or the crops -no, but the kind of men the Country turns out, . .. . JINGLES AND JESTS. Degrees. Commencement days are over, and many a noted man Is proud at being* honored with a coveted degree. Perhaps It is an A. M„ or It may be that he can Subscribe himself, "Yours faithfully, John Ilopltins, LL. D." Such men are very lucky, and we envy them. of course, The Ph. D. or other plume, whatever it may be. But most of us are still today plain citir zens perforce. And the only tag we ever get is C. O. D. tier Opinion. Ile -But don't you think girls often decline proposals without sufficient consideration? She -Not very often. I think propo- sals are apt to be carefully considered before they are made. Pi,igpone Shots. The Tourist -Things don't seem very progressive out this way. Buckskin Ben -What: Why, we have got Hier finest pingpoug club in the country, right here, stranger. Suit Yourself. If . -r-k. means Arkansaw And likewise means Arkansas, Pray tell, should N e -w -a -r -k 'Alen be pronounced Newarkansaw Or simply Newarkansas? Defined. "Pa," said the little mosquito, "what does 'perseverance' mean, anyway?" "Perseverance, any child.," replied the wise old Insect, "means llndiug a hole in a wire sereen." Interview With. Little Eva. "flow old are you, my pretty, fair inald?" "Well, Pro over seven. sir," she said. "Is your another with you, my pretty maid?" "2''o; but my granddaughter Is," she said. Her View. Ctolly-Miss Pepprey, how do you pwononnee "g -o -I -f?" Miss Pepprey -I pronounce It per- fectly Idiotic. '%Vhout She Pleases. Shu would not, though 1 coaxed and ton ei.1 And legged of her my bride to be. She sabl she'd marry whom she pleased: Yet, goodness knows, the pleases xne. (Lutet 'Wedding. "It was a dulcet wedding, 1 pre- sumer "Oh. yes. The groom acted as If ha had been hypnotized." 10 Quarrel Willa The weather cure 18 trying, '•„d• But to blame at we are loath, t , i" white the aoafltt is in t}taale > 1 m '.,.e And the straw Is fall 'eat both!r '1.1t For Tat. Par."ill,ills-> You tiarry your pretty high, tlr+tftr Wt• till. if t do t um not 1e. up as you' }a e: Judge. head tuck tit Approval. The open worts at4u Jlltt ° alt, what gutftd be beater! 's "tie a eFlni.,tariff; admired lag Ike Dtutuifry noiu ;atteeter. ty 1 w '&'Lary llleeko t "How Dantmg has she fish ren elft tit its^r `r' 'Only nit,ttt time dit•urr es." tik The On. Sire Marri-ed. Me tarts..-rJ with alt his heart and stunt Ilr• uvr'etl h a. what she teak The O'.e who lose,; her with late wrote/ leastu bectgln a re etzeteeett. THE ZUF UC LA'Yrt steea 1Ies, It is scientifically reported that the lava streatnd fron} Vesuvius in 1858 were so hot twelve years later that steam was issuing front the' cracks find crevices, while the lava beds from the eruption of Etna in 1787 were found to be steaming riot just below the top crust as late as 1840, But still more remarkable are the scientide .re- ports of the volcano Jorullo, in Me4- co. This sent forth immense streams of lava Ln 1759. In 1780 the lava beds were examined by a party of scien- tists, and it was found that a stick thrust into the crevices instantly ig- nited, although there was no discom- fort experienced in walking on the hardened crust, again some forty years after the eruption it was visited by scientists and reported to be steam- ing in many places, and even eighty- seven years after the eruption two col- umns of steaming vapor were found to be issuing' from the crevices. Some- times the upper crust of such a stream of lava cools so that plants and lichens find precarious growth on the surface. while a few feet beneath the lava Is almost redhot. Her Mistake. Two elderly women and an old man, evident strangers in the city and who were carefully guarding a huge tele- scope between them, stood in front of the Grand for an hour the other day, waiting for some kind soul to direct them to the residence of a friend they had come to visit. The noise and bus- tle of the city evidently confused then. and they stood bewildered, not know- ing which way to turn. Finally one of the women plucked up courage to address a man who was passing, say- ing, "Could you tell me where Will Blain: lives?" "Who?" inquired the man, "Why, Will Blank. Ile used to live next door to us at Linton, and we have conte In to see hint." The man had to acknowledge be had never even heard o Will Blank, and the old lady turned away with a scorn- ful smile, saying, "Oh, 1 thought per - baps you lived here." Baths In X'lntaud. One of the greatest trials It visitor lu Finland has to endure is a Finnish bath. The method of procedure Is unique. Divested of outer clothing and attired in a light lard airy cotton gar - meat, you are slung In a sort of ham - mod: composed of cord above a targe receptacle like the bolters hi public laundries. This is almost lilted with cold; water, into whit'h et the right lno• ment Is dung a targe redhot brlek or piece of Iron, which of course amuses au overwhelming rush of steam lo as- cend and almost 'eltuke you. `!'hen ' when that proeess hule gone on sutil- elently long you are shaken out of your !multitude !immersed to told water, and sifter very drastic treatment you re- mune your raiment, sadder and wiser than before your novel experience. No 5taste t For 'Ph Days. At the head of the gulf of lbuthntt. there is a titwnntihi all; the sulatalit tri' whieh the sun:SWIMS iierliettaally dun. ;lig the tbve days of Juane 10. 29. 21. 22 and 24. E've'ry Sill 1noatrs during this season of Vanitinuaal .Sunshiny a ste'at e knees Stenel:lnoltu tt'erwared with visit oi's nanous le witness the pbnutiouae- ,11011. .11 the same Planer dnteiteg winter tine Nun dieelopueals and is toot seen for Imam, Then It tonnes in sight agent for ten. fifteen or twenty naltunatee, gradually lengthening Its stay until finally it staves In sigIat continuously for upward of 1:21 hwuirs. Mutter of Porte.. l`taoes she wear corsets through fie-" n leessity`s' "No It's inerety n Matter of form." ''teee Bluestocking. C'ltrrin:aiai s newest great delight 11 To show Hat she Can trippingly Pronounce yrerltyi,htitts. leepar--flow did you each suety k eeld ampullae -1 got overheated playing p>ape)p.-1Judge. A t'Intee,elin e. 'Tic net the clothes that 'make tete ratan, 'i F;.angGa nue may have a stack et thein, I:2 'tis quite freagnently the rase That man's rr_ade rand by lack of therm. t tleseetioie me t'osas. lleuijatteln t'e)tustdtat when la:tinting the 1t01.1iaalt egf glia 'eu Vietroa•a a made the gn•nnsd Nielson olt the (tenter, whish Was pert esf his illustrious sitter's cos - tante, it certlinn tonna of blare. The queen criticised this part of the pieY- ture, but Cotastarit stuck to bis a--olor. One day he reveivesap (Milt Windsor a little parcel containing the order of the Galatea'. The quern. fully convinecd that she was right, had sent him the ribbon to prove Isis c•oior sense was wrong. She wild laot woofer the Garter upon him, however. ALlrthtsaelthed Albumenized aaailk is tt most teoui•ish- ing drink for taxa invalid, and in hot nventher. taken at hatervals of three i hours between bre:alit:est and a d Vein : dponaaer, wootat be'alJ the nourish- : meat required by c person In health. ,, Drop the white of one err uta a glees. add two-thirds M a cupful] of tauilk. , cover and sleihe until tbatoroteg:iabc mixed. Straits into number gloss and serve. _; Great Combination. If necessity is the mother of have tion, what h the faatbaer ,"" "insanity, of coturse." A Breakfast fussing. =i 'Tis an age of base deception. Weil be lucky to avoid The imitation beefsteak And the egg of celluloid. Z Promoted finis +"Trust." "How in the world did he manage get so much on credit?" 'Oh tie's a trust promoter." en toots, Mont. "'I'm too practical to do :as heroes do in books. Miss Slight. so 111 east ask e you bluntly, will you be my wife?' "No, thank you. Mr. Terse. I Myself ` dont believe ha tiro to silly bookish ao• tions, and as the silly heroines always say yes, why, i'll tell you bluntly" no. sir, 1 won't:" Just Cele*. dei "Wind stakes the baby cry' asked the little visitor. • "Oh e.piailted Ethel. "our lathy doesn't Have to have auythfug to make it cry." Such Latttgunge. When brilliant writers wield the pen. The very strongest thoughts they think Are never writ; they're 'uttered when They stick the paste brush in the Ink. Likely to lie. "Isis story sounds like a romance." "Perhaps it is one. It's all about himself, isn't it?" Ine'e1t able. Mary hada little foot, She wore ti tiny shoe. And everywhere that Mary went. The people saw it tool -Chicago Peeerd-Herald. Pale 1,Vserning. IIx {nervouslee-'!.'Cho is that tiiunp- lilg around overhead? She -That's papa. lie always gets restless toward morning. Afreete. Ones ttnafrtnatiols. ."When a maul gits .good an' mad," said Ulnae Eben. "lie's l 'ble to 'ntagine hes a vole'nito when he 0111' tilitlfla but a firecracker." The hide of the hippopotamus in Some parts lla gully two Maio thick. HERALD ate ew tea Will keef on hand a supply of Flour ,,and Feed at right Prices. OUR CHOPPER HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN FOR THE .SEAEON. . Tf ESTER/ Y LONDON, September I2=20, 1902. Prof. Hutchison, the Human Bomb, in a thrilling Ball©oel Ascen' sion find Parachute Drop, The Marvelous Cycle Dazzle. The snatnq, in asensation novelty. The great Gay, the Handcuff King, The Olifains, Continental Ee entriques. Manning Du Crow, famous Mono- pedes. Rosa Naynon, with her troupe of Trained 'Tropical Birds, The. Bard Bros.. Acrobatic Wonders. Chrissie M. Jones, Cornet S9rttoa6. Magnificent Pyrotechnics and many other features. Special tri na% Ser- vice over all lines. Exhibits further ahead than the tines. Grounds iasi4iottslp , beautiful. Buildings irresistably inviting. JOHN 1. .I. HIES LJo. Price Lists, Muer, Programmes and information for the asking from LT. -COL, W. M. GARTSHORE, J. A. NELLEq, President. Secretgt,ry, dpinwaratzto Hoffman's Jubilee Laundry 1 We use no chemicals to destroy tY Jo or injure your Clothing, and we Guarantee our Work. TAILORING IN CONNECTION W. H. HOFFMAN Swell Jewellery. THE CORRECT STYLET ARE TO BE FOUND IN MY ESTAB- LISHMENT. , `., .r..,_..._. Lady's lir"nteehes, the Latest Paris Style's. t-lentsi_ttil Links and But- ton,;, timid and Strong. A full lint' of Watches, s, ;ietvellt'ry, Musical In,trntlat'ilts and ljae'e'li::.. \VAT('H ti 11 1'14( 1(117 REP.11I'.- INf:-l. MV HOBBY. F t W e.1 . HESS THE JEWELER Cn The Hill, MUI ICH. O YEARS' XPtRIENCE 1HiIltRES lank 'COPY HIE aitC. Anton b ttncll" at it Moneta si s t.e rt. et ;n r e tv.lcSUf SE' n tut t,p tat --a fate 1 La++CF.1 cu t; itattatt't TS pr °•uttlr t c a ran , a• t! :.yWattettt' ee.oleastaUtr IIti.LC":;c.ke"tr"L7E'.ts to 1 Cees l ie•.at.l�eitetcq tet a rra, ,t rtuer:24. Panting .eke u Wesel! Motu t&t (.o. ict:aite 4;yeatil Seine, tgttt ilat ensue, nnY tae $tittilifie Jinttricatt. F.1lateteossely 1116s/tAlyd green. 1 dt-teet Gt. u:attod *f WO' ee eataee ffsathaf Te:ms $3 rxfforte tnobtha, $b Scul bred nefaec2eatera. UNN & Codt itjroaitii9r. Near York Erkeelt OfI:2e..." " Stu Watbu tco. ZURICH - 0 Is o tett daily exceed t5aitiday s front Fe aa. Lir., until 3 p. in.. The I1l:Ii ".i are distributed as follows: M t I 11, b'e>It Ht:N t+s L.i,. ria nsa' it t el :55n .m.. 2:53 pin •� SIr.Jr):+iFl,r'�,II. 11:Iletaatnl &13 " L. H. . JA t::aZaaanln " L. It. &ea. ::r:o as➢all FtuoM IlFesse LI.. aalT. 11 :V i1a ..101 .. -• a :;icy than °' .S. T-Jose:PH. '" 1(9 :4.i nalait c. L. H. 4 B.. " 11:l''.l' nl?a L. H. d B.. ; .:ot�i antra LrteeTERS Iron Raxeis;cbiA1'taoN. lutist be posted half an hour previous to tine three for closing the entails. I).S.FA ST, Postmaster. Clubbing rtes= "We have made arrangements to offer the following low clubbing rates with THE H''a.tLD Daily Toile. . 4.2:i ., Mail i ttnipire 4.2e weekly- Globe . . 1.t,ti ,, Mail & Empire 1.75 Berliner Journal (German) 2.50 Family Herald & Star 1.75 'Mors rhoophodino, The Great Dn7lish 17cnurigt. Sold and recommended by all drugglste In'Cenada. Only reit ' ableoeaamedicine esdqi rn t tdevire alt forms of Sexual Weakness.. all streets of abuts orerates, Mental Worry, Excessive lubeot10- bacco.OPIUM or stimulants. Mailed on receipt i of oriel►, one psolea a 51, six. 15. Oee stili please, efx"w0iCure. Damp lets free to tory address. 1 Th. Woad 'Conapaxlay, Whackers Ont. Wood's Phosphodine is sold in Zurich Ly Dr.Buchanan, Druggest.1 BLOOi ,'ppISON If you ever contracted any Blood Disease you are never safe unless the virus or poison has been eradicated from the system. At times you see alarming symptoms, butlive in hopes no serious results will follow.:L Rave you any of the toilowisg symptoms? Sore throat, ulcers on the tongue or in the mouth, hair falling out, ugh. mg pains itchiness of the skin, sores or blotches on the body, eyes red and smart, dyspeptic stomach, sexual weakness-lndications of the secondary stage. Don't trust to luck. Don't ruin your system with the old fogy treatment -mercury tad potash -which only suppresses the symptoms for a time only to break out again whet happy in domestic life. Don't let quacks experiment on you. Our NEW METSIOD TREATMENT is guaranteed to cure you. Our guarantees are backod by bank bonds that the disease will never return. Thousands .of pa tientshave been alreadY cured by our NEW METIIUll TREATMENT for over 20 year* posi. and no return of the disease. No experiment, no risk -not a "patch up," but a port five cure. The worst cases solicited. Nrvou OUitA NEW METHOD T2EAR'MF.NT will Care you, and maks a man of you. Under its influence the brain becomes active, the blond purified so that all pimples, blotches and ulcers disappear; the nerves become strong as steel, so that nervousness bashfulness and despondency disappear; the eyes become bright, the face full and clear, energy returns to the body, and the moral, physical and sett ual systems are invigorated; alt drains cease -no more vital waste from thea ,test. The various organs become natural and manly. You feel yourself a man and know marriage cannot be a failure. We invite alt the afflicted to consult us confidentially and free of charge. Don't let quacks and fakirs rob you of you hard -sexual dollars. WE WILL CURE YOU OR NO PAY. We treat and cure NERVOUS DEBILITY, SEXUAL WEAILNESS, EMIS- SIONS. SYPHILIS, GLEET, STRICTURE, 'VA RtCOCELE,XIDNEY and BLADDER DISEASES,and all .liseases peculiar to men and woman. Cures guaran. teed. II j"�'f?1) I Are you a victim? Have ton Ioat hope? Are yon eontemplttiti f II JIdIIYILi JriJiflt marriage? Sias your blood been diseased? Have yonauy wealr. a ares? Oar New Method Treatatent 'wilt cureyou. Lerasstut1se Free. No matter who has treated you, write for an honest opinion Fm of Charge. Charges reasonable. asoksreee.--'The Golden Monitor" iillustrstedt onDiseaseoof men "Diseases of Women" "Tia Wages of Sin." "Varicocele, Stricture and Gleet." All sent Free sealed. No medicine sent C. 0. V. No names on boxes or envelopes. Everything confidential. Question list and Cost of Treatment, FREE, for Home Cure. DRsREN1E 148 SH.ELI3V ST.. Y&KERGAII TROiT MICH.. Subscribe for "T - .E HERALD", ATENTS GUARANTEED! O'FA.R ELL 44. LAWSON, !4,25 NEW YORK AVE., WASHING'I'ONb, D. SoIlcitorsali.11mtlerieantxilrf a"raitefah, Patentei, irlilttigne,Tradsm*rkeisCepay rights. Will return tea, if Potent is not Send for Inventor's Guide, or How to Geta Patent. ,Be"Metation this Palmer and savant special rates," Il _ate- `?w Thiet Del PiiINTING Y the addition of New Type and Job Press, we are prepared to turn out all kinds of work on very short notice 0 0 To 17) -* SK your customers if they take THE HERALD, and 9 out of 10 will say Yes: the tenth - 10 to ll--bOrtoWs his neighbor's. This is benefit **e*****: " IF YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW of any per- son who is not a subscriber of "The Heyde. tell him that for these large figur es in small cents We will send him a trial subscript- ion for the remainder of the year D6 .,.,,. i cwnwkw tl