The Wingham Advance Times, 1926-04-22, Page 7i F Zvi I I;l
Tbursday, April 220, • Z906
WINGHAM ,ADVANCE -TIMES
'SFUNNY WORLD
Golf courses, so we're informed, are to be invaded this:
year by women flaunting their bare knees. See where a -
lot of tired business men will. spend all' summer on the,
golf links, Knee -d we say any .more?
—0.—
"Women Admit Limits To Beauty" --headline. Yes,
when every beauty parlor and drug store is out of 'busi-
ness. •
"Girls who wear boots are subject to Russian pains"
warn the doctors. How come? Pains—from rushin' hither
and thither?
—o—
It is widely predicted that the world will be dry seventy
years from now. What will men use for hair tonic then?
IRV& AAL
6E
61 a.0''-NEADED
YOU GET A BUSY, 'SIGNAL
WITHOUT SAYING •A WORD!
Down in'an Illinois town they had a "walkout of phone
girls" because the girls wanted more money.. Here you
pick up the receiver, offer them the money and find
they've walked out anyway. They won't even answeryou
to argue about it.
In a New Jersey city, they've organized a "First
Club," the' membership in which is limited to brides
The club slogan is "the first year is the hardest."
and so are the biscuits!
Year
only.
Yes,
_0
"Wireless Phone Message heard 12,000 miles away"
says news item. Will somebody kindly .send that report-
er a membership blank for admission in the Redid "Now -
You -Tell -One" League?
0—_
Washington waiters invited President Coolidge to their
annual ball but told him to leave his 'soup and fish" out-
fit at home. Haven't heard yet whether he took the tip *.
or not.
An elephant ran wild in a London store. . Probably did-
n't like the "price smashing" in the trunk -department..
—o ---
START WORK AT a2—TAKE AN HOUR
FOR LUNCH—CALL IT A DAY AT 1
They're teaching 'Plumbing at a well-known Eastern
school now. Must be interesting to study that game..
learning how to ;stretch five minutes' work into eight
hours and then collect a three-day bill for it!
_
OR THAT SMART ONE—"IT'S; DAYS -TIME!"
Ira Shakespeare's time, a learned professor asserts folks
did .not ask the question—"What time is 'ib?" Instead, to
get the informatioe, they said this:
"to the time's transition?""
May I interrogate. thee; as ,, •
Aha! But think : of the snappy twentieth ' century
"comebacks", they missed. Like:
"How!in`ell do I know? I ain't got no watch!"
FAMOUS LAST LINES
"Oh, did you fall? Too bad. Come over here and I'll
pick`you up'!"
THE FAMILY NEXT DOOR.
RIPPLING RUBY
(Continued from page 'six) '
n't tell us, I knew he'd have to tell if
we got hiin into a witness -box, and as
there's no prospect at present of get-
ting him before a magistrate I thou-
ght. I'dget him before a coroner. And
I set to work fixing it this morning
with the Paddington coroner, and got
him to issue a witness surnnions for
IVIr. Cheng aiid I went myself with his
officer to serve it. But when we got
to the Langhans Hotel, °the old owl
had flown! And there we are! For
it .seems to me that Mr, Cheng holds
the' key to the situation."
",Exactly how?" 1 asked, anxious to
know what was in Jifferdene's mind,
"This way," he answered. "I make
no doubt that I-Iollirnent was murder-
ed'by that Chink that Mr. Cheng
wants to lay . hands on—I make no
doubt, either, that, that Chink stole
something from Mr. Cheng, and that
he in his turn was sobbed. by Holli-
ment inside out, so to speak, in his
search for that something. Follow
me?„.
I' followed hire well' enough, know:
ing what I did, and said so:
"Well, 1 .wanted to make Mr. Cheng
tell us, straight out, what it was," he
said. "It would simplify matters,
but as I say, lie's hopped it!"
"Do you think Mr. Shen .knows?" I
suggested.
"He doesn't!" he answered. "We
went there as soon as I found that
Mr. Cheng had left, Mr, Shen came
out of his shell a bit this time, and he
assured me that they haven't the lea-
st idea why Mr. Cheng `wanted to lay
hands on this mysterious Chink.—all
they know is that he was . damned an-
xious to do so, .and willing to go to
"He never had a singlecaller until. "Now if we .could .only have got hold
night before last," replied the lendla-
dy, "Then, very _late indeed—close
ontwelve o'clock—two geutleanee
came to see hien. I -was just r•et9!ring.
when they knocked at' the, door,"
"Did you see them, ma'am?" asked
Jifferdene.
"I let thein In myself;", she an-
swered. "One ,was a short, ,stoutish
gentleman; the other was a younger
gentleman'—I should say he was a
Jewish person. They asked for Mr.
Carr and I showed them into his, sitt-
ing -room. They were there perhaps
ten minutes -then all three went out the coroner had adjourned the en -
together." quiry for a fortnight. "It'll all have
"Did Mr. Carr say anything to you to come out then -and no ctoubt lots
a out going out?" asked Birkem. more,
any expense ire' the 'matter,!'
"Then you're practically no wiser
than before?" I said.
"Precious little!'! ' he muttered,
grumblingly. "And up to now we'.ve
got no clue, no 'trace—beyond what,
you know of."
"4bout this inquest?" . I asked.
"Three o'clock this afternoon," he
answered. "It'll -be a mere formality.
There'll be the evidence of the pol-
icemen who found Holliment, and the
police -surgeon's, and yours. Then
the Corondr will adjourn for, say,' a
week or a fortnight, Can't go furth-
er than that, at present."
"Will they ask me a lot of clues=
tions?" I enquired.
"Not to -day, anyway," he said. "All
you'll have to do will be to identify
him :asa man you knew.in:Portsiixou-
th.by the name "of Holliment. Later
—when we've got more .details,' you'll
have to tell the story of those doings
next to nothing. A fdrnial affair!
Let's pick a bit"of lunch, arid we'll
go up to Paddington and hekr if 'Bir
fern's got any more information."
, Birkem, discovered later at the. Pad-
dington Police Station, hadprogress-
ed a little, he had heard, of , a stranger
who had lodged at a house in. Dela-
ware Road'.for the lasttwo or three
weeks and' had left suddenly on tlie.
day after Holliment's murder. And
as he was going round to snake, fur-
ther enquiries into this, we went with
him—to a house in the front window
of which was displayed a card where-
on . vas' inscribed the ,words Superior
Apartmentse Its landlady, presently
interviewed, was one of those • faded
persons whose very appearance and
manner make it unnecessary for them
to tell you that they have seen bet-
ter days,` and she was quite ready to
tell the police -officer anything she
knew. She had had, for ; about three
weeks, a lodger who called himself
Mr. Carr. lie was tall, pertly gentle-
man, who' evidently had plenty of
money, and, ate and dranke very well.
He • did not go out a great deal; ex-
cept ,of, au evening, He was a 'great
buyer of newspapers, especially of
sporting papers; he had left behind
him' a pile that high of such journals
and a lot 'of books about racing. He
wrote a lot of letters, and he had a
good many telegrams come to him, of
an afternoon, between half -past -two
and six o'clock.
"Results!" muttered Jifferdene.
"Did he have any'visitbts, Ma'ani?"
of him! 13ut ilk another ease of the
Continent, We this inquest."
The inquest,' • so much dreaded by
me, proved to be ,a very formal affair
—a mere opening of, proceedings.
Anafter' all, I was never called. The
housekeeper of Hollinient's Temper-
ance Hotel, having seen the news of
his murder, bad hurried up to town—
she was some relation of his, and she
identified him. I might just as well
have stayed 'away,
"But you'll be wanted next time,
Mr. Cranage," said Jifferdene, when
"No! He:' had 'a latch -key," -said
the landlady. "1 heard him come in
again about three o'clock in the morn-
ing." •
"Alone?"
"Oh, yes!".
"Anyway 'I can go now?" I suggest-
ed "I shall just catch the 4.53 at
Victoria."
We parted, and 1 went off -thank-
ful to be free, and intent on getting
back to Renardsmere, so that I could
tell Peggie Manson everything and
ask
no! He came in quite'quiet- time;' and I only got to Victoria two
ly.He was a veryquiet, well -con- minutes; before the 4.53 was due out.
ducted man." w (Continued next week)
Say anything to you, afterwards,'
, her advice. I, was pushed for
about being out so late
"And about his leaving?" asked.
Birkem. "Left suddenly, didn't he?"
"Very!: Yesterday afternoon, He
came in and told" me he •was obliged
to ` go to the Continent, on business,
and he'd packed his things and was
off, in a taxi -cab, in twenty minutes.
Perhaps you'd like .to see his sitting-
room?—it's just as. he left it."
The two detectives were pleased to
see the sitting -room, and examined it
very thoroughly. I dont know whe-
ther their professional eyes saw-any-
thing
aw•any-
thing that mine didn't perceive; what
I saw was a considerable collection
of issues of the Sportsman, Sporting
Times, Ruff's Guide, andsimilar pub-
lications, arid a ,;large heap of tele-
grams, carefully stacked on a' side -
table, from. which' I gathered that
Mr. Carr lead amused himself during
his quiet residence in Delaware Road
by- backing his fancy, andhad some-
times won and sometimes lost.
"That's Quartervayne, of course,"
remarked Jifferdene when we left.
II1tI Iii IlIIIIII I ,III IOI I4I llU! I I■I I Ill I IsIIItII®
Six Reasons Why I
Recommend
HURON & ERIE
DEBENTURES
Reason • No. 4 . ,ill
Huron & Erie books, securi-
i ties and accounts are subject to
inspection at any time without •
= notice of Dominion Government
Officials.
5 PER CENT:
Per Annum is payable half-year- I
ly upon $roo or more ford, 2, 3,
4 or 5 years, d
•I= Play safe with your savings
and arrange for a trustee invest- a
!Hent.
ABNE't COSENS
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DON'T STAY AWAKE
NIGHTS COUGHING
FIarnilton's Throat and
Lung Bassam
Will check that Cough
Absolutely guaranteed to the-,
ek the worst cough or cold, if
taken according ordin to directions',
cc
or your money cheerfully re-
funded.
May be procured from all
your local 'druggists . or direct
by mail from
HAMILTON DRUG CO
Wiihdsor, Ontario
BETTER HEALTH
TO THE BOYS
suisounowsicsmoimsommoimasommosolossio
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a'
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a For the Greatest Bargain ever
offered in
. THE HYDRO SHOP
r
ATCH OU
WINDOW
By Dr. Arthur L. Forster
Here's to our boys the men of to-
morrow! And here's to. the golden
opportunities •that are their's in this
day and age of enlightenment and
progress!
It is a 'long pull fromthe days of
the base burner, kerosene lamp, and
horse and buggy to these days of
electric furnaces, automobiles and ra-
dio. ' Then a boy sat at home, half
frozen, with the weekly paper, or per-
chance took old Dobbin out for a ted-
ious drive. Now he jumps into the
,car and in ten -minutes has joined a
group of young folks dancing the
Charleston to music at a leading ho-
tel.
'Truly, it is a great age, and the
boys of today can make it greater
still if they will. But they've got to
fashion their lives after , a different
pattern than .Harold Teen and his too
nunierous counterparts. in real life.
Because it takes more than five feet -
eight inches, a yellow slicker, and a
cigarette to make a man. It takes
brains and brawn, and the "cake eat-
er" has neither and will never have
either.
'What this country needs as Hauch
as anything today is a return to the
virile principlesof our ', forefathers.
The late • Tom Marshall expressed it
mighty aptly when he said we need
to go back to the "nickel cigar ideas."
In certain strata of society our young
'men are growing more and more in-
dolent • and • pleasure -loving. The
"stliek" has replaced the Viking, .and
the gin -flask, the dinner-pail—both
symbolic` of our national virility. and
strength.
Vast Improvement AIreacty
The present generation of men lias
I done aevast amount of work to take
a lot of the hazards and' handicaps
out of life for the"young idea." Par-
ticularly has thiee been true along the
lines of health. Diseases that took an
enormous ;toll of .life twenty Years
ago have been but eradicated. Edu-
cation along" the lines of right living
has reached a point where no one
need remain in ignorance of those
pr'inciples whose observance . makes
for a fuller and happier life. Most of
the labor' soexpended has been done
in behalf of our children.
It goes without saying • that our
boys must co-operate in the buildingl
,up of the, rising generation, for they
are its very warp and woof. How can•
they do this? ' 13y 'taking an interest
in their own physical well-being, By
leading orderly lives. By avoiding all
'vicious . habits. By eating properly,
"work
sufficiently, and balancing
'work and play intelligently,
The boys of today are the men of
tomorrow. What this nation will be
twentyyears hence rests with them,
!Are the years ahead to mark an era
of decadence, or an epoch of pro-
gress? Are they to see this country
Washing Machines
Electric�1 •
eunusual.
Something o:bsc�lul l�?'
Wingham Utilities
'i1156.
Crawford Block.
PhoneAnammmansmimmIumiumummemmiummummissimadi
4
ALRi a "me.N-(,pt3frV)
OARN `(E1. Puff - PUf'f)
SZRN IN N! RE t
(PUPPP PUFF 0
EGG POOL 1926
We are now ready to accept Eggs for. the. Pool. Bring or ship
your eggs. This is the right season for you to store your own eggs,
when production is high and; prices low.
Our Directors have passed a resolution whereby Club Members
or Shareholders share in Commodity dividends or else we will have to
deduct $z.00• at the end of the season to be devoted towards educa-
tional work in co-operation. .
We would advise joining a local club or you may join at the
Wingham Office.
1VIAITLA D CREAMERY
Owned and operated by
. Co. Ltd.Oo-
"
The United Farmers C. Co -Op.
- - Ontario
lli®Illi!!IIAIIIIII! lsllllll lslil I®illpl ll�lll®lIl®III®.III®III®III®III®I I II III®I11®Hilal l l®Ill®i l lel l l®III®I {I '
TIT frO NC 0:...
f LVir Whzpidni Tire Ce;ft---
iceinizzing
r . '
e ,
Its
Don't send a tire to the scrap heap that belongs out on the
road. You wouldn't like it yourself. YOU wouldn't stand
for it as long as you had' the price or credit with a good
M.D. Let us doctor your tires by our vulcanizing method.
w it00
"'1 �H .Or,,
`1=1110ti2m
iilElllEill"!!!iEInEil!®I!!uUA!I EM M MMM r'MOM ' !!IEi!!E!uEl!!EnlM!!!t MEW "iMEM
slip back • into fifth place among the herb?
powers of the earth, or forge ahead to "(3) Is it poisonous?
'greater security in its position as the "(4) If there is some other good
foremost nation on the globe? The remedy kindly mention it when re-
answer rests with the boys of today! plying."
Questions and Answers
Yellow Jasmine and
Insomnia
W. G. writes:.
"(z) Wouldyou recommend Gel -
sell -titan for sleeplessness?
"(a). Is this a mineral or is it an
TEMPORMENTAL HEN
will, I'Li SE
NWT 'CH PT
JUST 1.11LE A
%MI+ANN
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a
ro ,
NCA) BLANKE'Ff - BLANNK,
PPSkY NEN!. GVT Th' fna
HECK bU'f?A NW
Cu ARAEIVA "$
,d r
Reply
(x) No,
(2) it is an herb, its cotrimon na-
me being Yellow Jasmine,
(3) Yes.
(4) I could not conscientiously
recommend any drag for insomnia,
The proper procedure is to find out
why you do not sleep properly, and'.
then eliminate the cause. In addition:
try this: When you are ready to re-
tire drink a cup of hot milk and eat
five or six crackers. Then go throw-
gh the following exercise: Bracing
yourself with one hand on the dress-
er or foot of the bed, raise . up and
down on the toes without letting the.
heels touch the floor, When 1:he cal-
ves Of the legs get tired kick straight.
forward several threes. Repeat the•
entire• process three times. Then get.
into bed acid assume a comfortable po-
sition,
Keep the feet moving in a circular
movement, at the, same time taking
deep breaths. Keep your mind on
the abdomen and kgs, and keep it up
indefinitely no matter how tired yot
become. In most cases the individ-
ual goes LO sleep while doing this, the
principle being' that it withdraws'
blood Crone the. brain, li is an over-
supply of blood itt the brain that is,
iresi.onwible fot 51eCpksstie s,_