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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1947-05-15, Page 2JUST IN FUN Chivalry in the Park Some tnen, too few perhaps, are never caught lacking in courtesy. One professor type we know of cringed inwardly as he observed a woman descend heavily upon his new hat which he had placed beside Lira on the park bench. Realizing her mistake, she apologized pro- fusely. Then the man of gentle breeding quickly replied • "Think nothing of it, madam. Before, my hat was simply felt—now it's sat -in 1" His Contribution While visiting in Dublin, satirist Jonathan Swift was asked for a subscription by a charitable organi- zation that was planning to build an orphanage. He promised five pounds. The following day, it was an- nounced in the newspapers that he had promised 50 pounds. Furious, Swift voiced his protest to the members of the committee. They offered to print a correction in the next edition of the papers, but the author refused to be subjected to such embarrassment. "I'll give you the 50 pounds," he said, "on the condition that you permit me to choose the inscription over the main entrance." This was agreed upon. The in- !tcription chosen by Swift was de- scriptive and appropriate. It read: was a stranger and ye took me What More? Temporarily discouraged with the apartment in which she lived, the mother complained to her four- year-old son: "I do Wish we could find another place to live." "I don't, Mommie," was his quick response, "1 rove this apart- ment." Earnestly seeking a fresh view- point, she asked: "Tell me, dear, what do you like especially, about our apartment?" "Mommie," he explained, "the rooms are just the shape I like and they are just where 1 want them," Whoops! The young candidate for admis- sion to the Navy was being given a test to determine his general knowledge. One of the questions put to him was "What kind of ani- mals eat grass?" The young man fidgeted and looked uneasy, but apparently could think of no an- swer. "Come, come," said the Admiral who was examining him, "surely you can answer a simple question like that! What kind of animals eat grass?" The boy brightened up. "Ani- mals!" he exclaimed, "I thought you said admirals," The Heckler The Scot is frequently the goat when jokes are on tap, but not always. Listen to this: In an English political oration: "I was born an Englishman, I have lived an Englishman, 1 hope 1 shall die an Englishman." From the back of the hall in an unmistakable accent, cam e the question, "Mon, hae ye no anibee- tion?" Brevity "Get my broker, Miss Jones." "Yes, sir—stockor pawn?" Western Sheepmen Short of Shepherds If you are tired of your present method of making a living and looking for work in a field not too crowded with competition, take up shepherding, suggests the Windsor Star. Word from Saskatchewan is that sheepmen have an acute labor problem—a shortage of shepherds. They are finding that young men take no interest and the old-timers are starting to, die off. For those who think their pres- ent occupation offers too many trials and ttibulations, shepherding should be most attractive. For it is very routine. In June you load uP your camp wagon, leave the ranch and set up camp on the range. Your only link with civili- zation is the weekly supply wagon. In winter, you move to a per- manent camp nearer the ranch, but you are out with the flock in all weather. You face the chance of being frozen to death, and frozen hands and faces are com- mon occupational hazards. The shepherd's responsibility is to see his charges don't poach on someone else's property, to watch for signs of disease among the flock and see none stray. And if you take up such a pro fession you will soon learn that, instead of being the ones you must watch with distrust, the black sheep of your flock arc the most valued members, Black sheep are seat- tered throughout the flock for count'ng purposes, and the shep- herds count only the blacks. If any are found missing they assume others have aka =trayed, and begi» a search, DEMOCRACY COMES TO ITALY'S ARMY Something new has been added: weren't allowed in troop halls. No Rome.There was one good re- sult of the war in Italy. GI Gius- eppe now can sit down at a table to eat his meals. Three times a day the improve - men in Italy's small but effective post-war army is thus brought home to the men in the ranks. Before ' the war, an ordinary soldier in the Italian Army shnply picked up a mess kit of food from the camp kitchen, found a shady spot around the camp, sat down and had his meal there. Now he is In Fascist days Italian soldiers had w they can bring their senoritas, but to go a round. not only provided with a mess hall and mess tables, but there is a read- ing room in his barracks, something never before permitted except in officers. quarters. Enlisted men now have their own shows, dances, bars and refreshment rooms, Democratization of Italy's army began with the first lariding of Allied troops in September, 1943. A special Anglo-American unit, known as the Military Mission to the Italian Army, was formed. This to dance with each other; girls there doesn't seem to be enough unit was to co-ordinate the rem- nants of ,Mussolini's army with the Allied forces and to see whether the Italian troops could be taught to work and operate along the same lines as the Allied fighting forces in Italy. Inside of a year the AIMIA had three divisions of Italian troops trained and fighting with the Allies against the Germans The troops used American and British equip. ment. VOICE OF THE FRES Not A Buyers' Strike Many people know they are no longer getting decent value for their rnoncy. So, they are simply not purchasing. It is not a btlYers' strike or anything of the sort. It is just the commonsense of ' the buy- ing public is telling people they might as well wait until the balloon comes down. —The Windsor Star, Very •Dear,—Dear A visiting stage star from New York is reported to have said in an interview, "Canada is very dear to me." We would like to assure the lady that, to Canadians, the place is getting dearer all the time. —Toronto Saturday Night, Russia's Needs What Russia needs is a warm winter port and a diplomat or two who undergo occasional thaws. —Brandon Sun. Odds on Britain Britain, it is occasionally pointed out, may astonish the world by her recovery. Her failure to recover would astonish us more, —Sault Ste. Marie Star. ----- In One Day At Liverpool in one day 25,000 gift parcels of food for British families were received from indi- viduals in the United States. This is the sort of friendly gesture that is remembered long after the words of statesmen are forgotten. —Ottawa Journal. Grim But Logical Sir Alexander Clutter buck, the United KingdOm'a nigh Commis- sioner to Canada, says Neat unless nations can achieve Closer co-opera- tion there will be another upheav- al. 'Fite deduction is grim but log- ical. It is up to the nations to act -accordingly, —Brantford Expositor, Iin't It Awful? The melancholy clays are here. Most frenzied days of all the year, When mon go home to find the rooms All torn up i0 housecleaeing booins.1.: —St. Thomas Times -Journal. Hay or What? - Canada's farmers paid $7,113,920 into the Dominion Teasury 161 in- come tax during 194540. If that's not hay, it's the next - thing to ft. —Hamilton Speetator. - - .; for faster PAIN RELIEF Neuritis — Neuralgia .c _ Insfantini 12 T/,`,DZDRs 250 A'" RES Good Paint Protects and Beautifies For those homeowners in this district who are contemplating the beautification of t h eir home s, whether interior or exterior, we have a message of vital inm'ortance. It has to do with the paint you are going to use. There is a great deal of truth in the statement "good paint is free." As a matter of fact, its preservative effect on the wood- work is so great that there is a bonus for using it, So many homemakers have learn- ed the importance of using quality paint that a mention of the import- ance of buying good paint is of vital interest to those who are going to paint or have painting clone this season. Professional painters and home owners of our acquaintance have told us that quality paint pro- ducts 'cover a greater ,suriace and hold their true color for a longer time. The reputation enjoyed by The Martin-Seriour Co. Limited has been built on the quality of their products tested by discriminating Users over a period of many Years. Our readers can rest assured that . when they use a product of the quality of 'Martin-Senour paints they are taking no chances on sur- face coverage and lasting finish. Only the skill that comes front years of experience in the paint manufacturing business could give to The Martin-Senour Co. Limited the reputation that they now enjoy. Your local. Martin-Senour dealer or painter and decorator Can give you valuable advice regarding de- corative materials and colour schemes with the aid supplied by Ivlartin-Senour. Your insistence on the use of these products for your painting and decorating will be your assurance of a satisfactory job this Spring. Fish Story Prince Naruhiko Higashi-lcuni, former commander of the Japanese Army in China, commander of Jap- anese homeland defenses during the war and premier of all Japan fol- lowing the surrender, has obtained a license to run a fish market in downtown Tokyo. Boys Bands at C.N.E. Must Have New Deal There will have to be a new deal in the boys' band competitions at the Canadian National Exhibition this year. So many boys enlisted that new classes to meet new con- ditions will have to be organized. For example seventy boys from the Ottawa Boys Band joined the col- ors, sixty went from Brantford and proportionately large groups from smaller bands. Many of Ithe bands have recruited SO many boy musicians it has been found necessary to provide new classes, The London Police Boys Band now numbers eighty while sixty youthful musicians are wear- ing the uniform of the Leamington, Ontario band. London police started a boys band as part of the cam- paign to combat juvenile delin- quency. Now the move has spread to Chatham, Hespeler, Dundas and Guelph where the guardians of the law have sponsored hands. The Police Chiefs Association of Can- ada has formally approved the plan, Service clubs also are encouraging the young bandsmen. The Opti-, mist Club of Chatham has donated one thousand dollars to the band in the Maple City and at London the London Hotel Association has contributed various amounts to a total of four thousand dollars. 77I/N/ Even though the "Danger" signs -of Inflation can be taken down now, they have to be replaced with signs reading, "Proceed With Caution." The ice is still too thin for any Canadian to tell himself, "Now, at last, 1 can go ahead and buy everything I want." 'We can't—yet. But we can proceed to enjoy—hi. moderation —many of the goods and services which were so long in short supply. These good things are ours at. moderate - prices now because we were moderate in our demands before. Today, Canadians can indeed be proud of one of this country's finest possessions, which is, as The House of Seagram has long contended, this nation's policy of moderation in all things—in its thinking, in its buying and in its personal habits. Ove&w ,..o-federwaie goaki/ THE HOUSE OF SEAGRAM M-14 S POP—Novel Beginning By J. MILLAR WATT -rkmoPENINC-ISCg/45 op tAy NEW' NOVEL 15 IN A SALVAGE DUAP! ,:47-•:- [-"' ,nCetic:4 ty The 1301 ein4Ime. laal , ,. . ,..--:-. • 1,1-* I, ill e --.`U/ A ,. _,.. • --•-= THAT'S WHEke mos --r or "'HEN ENO ! . . . , ,; . . ';'" ; . , • - . . . , . . . ., / \ --__.-- . .,—_,-- - 7 -, -..-_:,. 1 - . - - :- -,.:__=,,,.• t ?_,- , I -- LI \NA 1 \N\7. -Ir i 1 --- . , A ..Z.--,_--.-; •" • 0 v __ . . , 1 i • _ . _