HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1947-03-20, Page 2JUST IN FUN
All Changed
"No more will I hear his foot-
steps on yonder walk just as the
clock strikes the hour of 8,'
"Gracious, Jeannette!"
"And the old parlor light will
never burn low for him again."
"You don't mean 1t?"
"I do, and, furthermore, he will
never sit on the sofa three nights
a week and call me pet names as
he has long been doing' for two
years."
"I am astonished!'
"And tonight I ant going to burn
all the old love -letters in any
trunk."
"B -but why are you going to dis-
card him?"
"Discard him? Why, you goose
I amgoing to marry 11iml
Definition
A Continental endeavors to de-
scribe' the difference between
clerks and managers as follows:
"A clerk is a man who knows a
great deal about very little, and
who goes on knowing more and
more about less and Less, until fin-
ally he knows everything about
practically nothing.
"A manager is a man who knows
very'little about a great deal and
who goes on knowing less and' less
about more and more until finally
he knows nothing about practically
everything."
"I can't go another step—my sto-
mach's killing me!"
Erred
Mrs. Brown was sitting in church
listening to the sermon, when she
remembered to her horror that she
had put her Sunday joint in the
oven without turning down the
gas. She considered getting up and
leaving the church, but then she
changed her mind and scribbled a
note and handed it to her hus-
band, who was one of the side-
men. He, thinking the note was
for the minister, walked up and
placed it on the cage of the pul-
pit.
The minister paused a moment
in his sermon, picked up the note,
and to his astonishment read:
"For Heaven's sake, get off home
and turn off the gas.
Cheap
Accompanied by 1,ts son, Sandy
entered a tavern, where he handed
over a jar and asked for it to be
filled with whiskey.
When this had been done he
found he'd left all his money at
home: So, with a cynical smile, the
landlord pouted out the whiskey.
'That wis an awful' petty," said
the son when they were plodding
home again.
"Wheesh, son," replied Sandy
warningly; "jilt wait till we get
hame an' see me squeezing oot the
sponge."
It Was For Him
Jones: "Life is full of trials."
Brown: "Yes, thank goodness."
Jones: "!Why do you say that."
Brown: "I'm a lawyer."
Why?
"How quaint the minds of child-
ren are!" remarked the late Jane
Adams, of l -full House, one day
at a mothers' meeting. "One New
Year's Day I gave a little -girl at,
present of a diary."
"This is a diary," I explained to
her. "Every day you must write in
it a record of how you l.ive."
'The little girl turned the blank
pages of the book, and said:
"'But why isn't it called a livery
instead of a diary, ma'am.' "
Late
!lost: "Talking about Africa
makes me • think of the time—"
Bored Guest: "Good .gracious,
you're quite righty I had no idea
it was, so late. Good-bye,"
Into The Fire
The musicmaster of a school
near Bradford had been lecturing
on Mozart, Beethoven, and other
great musicians, when .otte of the
scholars was struck by an original
thought. "How is it, sir," he asked,
"that musicians are always so
ugly?"
The music master looked em-
hairassed
The seeker after truth suddenly
realized with horror, that his •ques-
tion might be taken .personally, and
he hastened to make amends. "Of
course, sir, he said, tactfully, "I
only mean good musicians."
He Was a World Champ in 1908
Remember Oscar "Battling" Nelson, one of the all -titre greats of
fightdom who won the world lightweight championship fn 1908?
Well, the Battler is still in there pitching—here he is at Chicago's
main post office, where he's a clerk..
Know Your Hockey Stars
By ED. FITI{IN
Once rated by Conn Smythe as
the best all-round player in the
N.II.L., Nick Metz is still a
mighty Handy Andy for the To-
ronto Maple Leafs. Now that Bob
Davidson has retired from active
participation, N'ck is the veteran
of the Leafs in point of service and
is now playing 1 is eleventh season
as a Toronto
regular.
Born and raised
in the sprawling
w 11 e a t country
around Wilcox,
Saskatchewan n
, o
Feb. 10, 1014,
,Metz learned his
Nick Metz hockey with
Centre Father Murray's
Notre Dante Hounds. He came
east to St. Michael's College in
1033-34, and it was the famed
junior line of Nick Metz, Art Jack-
son and Regis (Pep) Kelly which
spearheaded the greatest Irish team
of all time to the Memorial Cup
championship, Between them the
Irish aces accounted for 216 points
in 35 games that season—including
135 goals. Jackson led the team
with 52 goals and 38 assists; Metz
was fourth (behind Johnny Ache-
son and Drouillard) with 40 goals
and 24 assists and Kelly was fifth
high man with 43 goals and 10
assists.
5 * 5
Metz, Jackson and Kelly turned
pro en masse with the Leafs the
following season. It looked as if
the Toronto team had captured an-
other breath -taking trio to ,follow
in the footsteps of the aging Rid
Line, but through some strange
quirk of hockey, neither Metz,
Jackson or Kelly was destined to
develop into super stars of pro
hockey. Or for that platter to
function impressively as a pro litre,
After a couple of months with the
Leafs, ;Metz and Jackson were sent
to Syracuse for seasoning. Kelly
stayed with the team—but over the
tong run, Metz proved 'himself the
best of the trio as a major leaguer,
Metz moved up to the Leafs for
the 1933-33 season and has been a
Toronto regular ever since -with
time out for a two-year stint in the
Army. Never a prolific scorer in
the Big Time, the redhead from
Wilcox has nevertheless proved of
inestimable value to the Leafs and
apart from doing a terrific if non
spectacular chore of playing
shadow to the opposition aces,.
Nick has chipped in with soma
highly important "clutch" goals
over the years.
* 5 5
Probably his greatest contribu-
Bali to the Toronto cause carne in
10.11-42 when he fired what was
probably the most important goal
in the successful march of the Leafs
to the Stanley Cup pinnacle. That
was the shot that killed New York
Rangers in the sixth game of the
semi-finals at a point when Lester
Patrick's defiant 13lueshirts, twice
behind, hacl rallied to tie the score
and apparently were on the verge
of sweeping to victory. Metz ended
that comeback attempt, however,
when he scoredthe tic -breaking
goal with only SIK SECONDS to
play!
That was the prelude to To-
ronto's even more dramatic con=
guest of Detroit Red Wings in the
final series when they rallied, after
losing the furs[ three games, .and
swept to the championship by tak-
ing the next four. As far as the
Leafs were concerned, however, the
title was wort on Nick's goal against
Rangers, conte what may,
They mobbed hini in the dress-
ing -roost after that epochal goal,
but Nick took it all in typical Metz
style—without saying more than a
couple of words. But Conn ,Smythe
said enough that indicate just how
valuable Nick was to the Leafs.
That Metz," ' he enthused, "is the
best all-round player in the league.
He can play anywhere—and good.
In any kind of going. You can use
hini at centre, on the wings or at
defense—and he'll give you all he's
got. He was just the same es. a
junior and that's why we signed
hint."
When 110 was with St. Mike's,
Metz was a 00 -minute man—
often
a ;lo -minute Man for the Irish that
year ran into a few of those 30 -
minute overtime marathons. He'd
be on the ice every minute of every
game and he was playing so much
that the Leafs requested the coach
to "ease up on the kid" before he
burned himself out. Well the Irish
idea of "easing up" on Metz was to
shift him—when they thought he
was tiring—frons the forward line
to the defense!
Not that Nick minded. The more
hockey he got the better he liked
it. He's been that way throughout
his pro career, too.
When the 1041-43 season ended,
Nick went into the Canadian Army.
' Honorably discharged in the fall
of 1944, he returned to the Leafs
and played a leading role in To-
ronto's surprising Stanley Cup
triumph. Against wartime puck -
chasers, Nick enjoyed his most
prolific scoring season since leis
junior days. In league competition,
Ise fired 22 goals (he had never
previously bettered 15), and had i8
assists for 35 points.
A knee injury in a playoff game
with Canadiens at Montreal 'kept
Nick side -lined for six games last
spring, but he got back in time for
the last three games of the seven-
game Stanley Cup final series with
Detroit and it was reliable 01' Nick
who paved the way for Toronto's
cup -winning victory. With the
score tied 1-1 in the third period of
the seventh and deciding game,
Metz worked in close, fired a blaz-
ing shot at Harry Lumley and
Babe Pratt slapped the rebound
home for the winning goal.
•.VOICE of THS
Just •a Suggestion
If' you own or occupy ,a house
with neglected surroundings, why
not spend a few evenings preparing
a plan for improvements this corn,
ing spring- You'll be surprised
what a lot of fun you get out of
it 'triton you really get interested.
And when you improve your home
surroundings you do yourself,
your • neighborhood and your com-
munity a real service. An active in-
terest in home beautification is the
hallmark of good citizenship.
—St. Thomas Times -Journal.
Reminded Him
A Montreal couple took their
five-year-old son along on a trip
to Niagara Falls for his first look
at that tireless. 'superspectacle.
They trotted hint tip to the brink
of the gorge, held hini firmly on
the balustrade for a good look and
awaited his reaction.
The youngster stared long and
silently, then declared: "1 wansa
drink of water."
—Maclean's :Magazine.
The British Soldier
When the United Nations re-
views the Palestine problem the
world will be able to pay tribute
to the forgotten Tommy Atkins
and his misunderstood and thank-
less task. There are many aspects
of British policy in Palestine which
call less for censule than for sym-
pathy and understanding.
--Winnipeg Free Press
Advice
London Free Press says that
where you smell a skunk in the
back yard it means spring. We im-
agine it does, and the farther and
faster you spring the wiser you are.
—Ottawa Citizen
Booketeria
Customers of the Ideal Market,
Lincoln, Neb., often come home
toting a book in the grocery bag,
says Pathfinder.
Wedged between the store's
counters is a 600 -volume branch
of the city's library. Like the mar-
ket, the "booketeria" is self-service.
(Book borrowers even figure out
their own fines.) They like it, re-
ports Manager Lyle Hans, And
so does he. There was a definite
hike in grocery sales the first two
months after he started satisfying
"book appetites."
ROOMS BEAUTIFULLY
FURNISHED $1.50 up
HOTEL METROPOLE
NIAGARA FALLS
OPP. — C.S.R. STATION
C MB COFFEE CAKE
Recipe
Add 1 envelope Royal Fast Ris-
ing Dry Yeast and 1 teaspoon
sugar to cup lukewarm
water, stir and let stand 10
minutes. Scald %cup milk, add
3 tablespoons shortening, to
cup sugar and to teaspoon salt;
cool to lukewarm. Add 1 cup
sifted flour to make a batter.
Add yeast mixture and 1 beaten
egg. Beat well. Add 21 cups
sifted flour, or enough to make
a soft dough. Knead lightly;
place in greased bowl. Cover;
set in warm place, free from
draft. Let rise until doubled in
bulk, about 2 hours. Roll out
dough to IA" thickness and
place in greased shallow pan.
Let rise in warm place, free
from draft, until light, about
1/ hours. Prick top with fork
and brush with 3 tablespoons
melted shortening. Cream 3
tablespoons butter or shorten.
ing, add 3 tablespoons sugar
gradually,mixing well. Add 'A
cup sifted flour, to cup dry, fine
cake or bread crumbs, and 14
teaspoon cinnamon; stir until
well mixed and crumbly, Sprin-
kle on top of cake. Let rise
again in warm place about %
hour. Bake in moderate oven'
at 400°F. about 20 minutes.
'What Coal Crisis Did
The coal crisis accomplished
what Hitler Bever could do—forced
suspension of such famous' British
weeklies as the Spectator, the
Economist, .the New Statesman
and Nation.
-Ottawa Journal.
Would Want Dues
Then if we did have that Broth-
erhood of Man they'd want the
dues taken from our pay envelopes,
—Quebec Chronicle -Telegraph.
Menace to All
Provincial police intend to carry
on an intensive campaign against
motorists who drive one -eyed cars,
Good. Such vehicles are a menace
not only to their own drivers and
passengers, but to every other mo-
torist and civilian on the highway,
Brantford Expositor.
Picturesque
She was only a photographer's
daughter—so she sat in a dark roost
and awaited development.
—Galt Reporter
Poor Memory
"There won't be another war-
no nation can afford it," Gen, Eis-
enhower says, But Ike' seems to
forget that lots of people ti -ho can't
afford one car have, two cars.
—Ottawa Citizen.
Veterans Help 'Veterans
One way to provide employment
for jobless veterans might be to
get them building homes for home-
less veterans.
—Port Arthur News -Chronicle.
The Navy Cut
Defence Minister Claxton hasan-.
nounced that the navy will' be
evenly split between the two
coasts, And if he makts another
cut in service personnel,he'll have
to split an admiral or two as well.
Those Little Things i
Because of the coal shortage 1'
Britain, the factory of the Austin
Motor Company is to be closetcjj,
Factory? We thought they had the
•oungsters whittle those little
hinge out in the kitchen during
heir spare time.
—Windsor Star.
'on will Enjoy *taring At
The St. ,Regis Hotel
TORONTO
• Wang Remo With Bath, Shower
and Telephone
• Single, 52.50 ui' -
Doable, $3.50 up
• Good Food, Dining and Dancing
Nightly.
Sherbonrne nt Oarlton
Tel, ISA, 4135
BY RUBBING IN
► Brings
quick relief. 19-46
Greaseless,
fast drying,
no strong`
odor.
Large, economical
cine, 65c
Plan to come to the Chatltecler in the early
spring.
All the subtle mysteries of Nature stand fully
revealed at this time of the year. From March
onwards your stay at the lovely Chantecler is
an experience never forgotten .. , spriugti, ne,
a lovely time for a lovely holiday.
A 400 acre estate—de luxe acconlntodation—
acknowledged leadership in cuisine and
service,
Only 45 miles north of Montreal
by car, rail or bus,
Year-'ror4Ji+fResort Hotel •
• STfi. Apl?(.h' EN.-H'AU.T, P.Q., CANADA
POP—Also Red Lights
—.BUT i'VE A PRETTY
600D I DEA I
• p
yi .
2 4.
By J. MILLAR WATT
I'MTE.R.R.IBLYuS
NERYo
YOU'VE N, c?' WHAT
T 80 THROUGH WHEN
I DRtYE THAT GAR 1 '
V, e r, rue r- if, 1"", roe,
�_..,.
NO!
•
•
-_ -
1
.
. - .
o a/ftl1�
t t L/