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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1947-03-13, Page 6JUST IN FUN The Legal Way A lawyer thus illustrates the language of the craft: "If a man Were to give another an orange, he would simply say: 'Have an orange.' But when the transaction is entrusted to a lawyer to be put in Writing he adopts this form': `I hereby give and 'convey' to ybttf all and "singular, my estate and inter- ests, right, title, claim and advan- tages of and in said orange, to- getlter with all its rind, juice, pulp and pips and all rights and advan- tages therein with full power to, bite, stick, and otherwise to cat the same or give the same away • with or, without the rind, skin, juice, pulp and pips, anything here- inbefore or hereinafter or in any other means of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in any wise notwithstanding,' "And then another lawyer comes along and takes it away from you!"' l So Dumb Mother Was slow to comprehend what seemed so perfectly clear to little Sue. The pride of the family talking about a "fedder," aA Tedder'?" mother questioned. "Why, you know, 3lttntni_y," pa- tiently explained Sue, "it's a leaf from a chicken:' Unpredictable Lady (indignantly, after crash): I turned the way I signalled, Man: I know it. That's what fooled me, Kindly photographer: "Now my little man, just keep looking at the birdie in the cage." Modern Tot: "Rubbish t Pay at- tention to your exposure, focal length and lighting, or you'll ruin your plate," The Handy Jingle Pat, who had but lately arrived from the old country, was experi- encing considerable difficulty mas- tering correct English. His cousin, who had spent several years in America and had gained a good working knowledge of grammar, attempted to instruct him. "NowPat," he said, "don't say, 'It is rte.' Say 'It is !,'.and remem- ber that by saying to yourself 'It is I said the. spider to the fly.'" A few clays later Pat came to his instructor and said, "Shure, O'im getting along foine. Oi just remember that 'It is me, said the spider to the flea' and Oi get it right every time." "Miss Fitts! Are You by any chance a rabbit fancier?" Not Stranger Ant enthusiastic golfer rame home to his dinner alter a game. During the meal his wife said: "Willie tells me he caddied for you this morning!" "There naw!" exclaimed Willie's father. "I thought I'd seen that lad before.,' Around and Around ;Mrs, Gabby: "This morning \frs, Crahbe told me the very gos- sip I asked you not to repeat to any one because I promised 1frs. Hinkle I wouldn't tell." Mrs, Jabber: "Why, the mean thing! She promised me she would not tell a soul, I'll certainly tell her a thing or two!" Mrs. Gabby: "Oh, no, don't do that; I promised her I wouldn't tell you she had told me you told her." Tower of London and Traitor's Gate From the Tower the King pro- ceeded in ancient days, accom- panied by his minstrels, in his re- splendent barge along the river to Westminster to open Parliament, says The Port of London Month- ly. By this river .came also those who entered Traitor's Gate on their last journey to the scaffold and the block T-Tere it was that Anne Bo- leyn and small Jane, "Queen of Nine Days," came to be "received" on the steps by the Constable of the '!'ower, and later, by their bloody deaths, to prove how dan- gerous it was to flaunt the Tudor sovereignty. r-Icre, too, Sir Walter Raleigh, sailor, explorer and poet, lauded to languish in prison for many a long year and be later brought forth to feel the axe which "cured all dis- eases." Small wonder that the exe- cutioner quailed before the steady ga^e of the brave old man, and had to be admonished, "Strike, man, strike. What dost thou .fear?" .IT'S A LONG WAY FROM SNOWY BRITAIN In summer togs, the British royal family enjoys warm weather of Capetown, South Africa, as they visit the beautiful gardens of government house. Britain Claims Falkland Islands The governments of Argentina and Chile are reported preparing to submit claims to the United Nations for possession of the Falk- land alkland Islands, which lie some 500 miles off the coast at the extreme tip of South America. Tine Falk- lands consist of about 100 islands, with an aggregate population of around 3,000, miles predominating in the proportion of about four to one. One of the larger islands had, when the last census was taken, a male population of 1,300 and only three women. The islands are so scattered that at one time there were British and Spanish settlers who did 1101 know of each other's presence. Title to the islands is not very clear, but they have been adminis- tered by Great Britain for at 'least 40 years, There are three ways in which acquisition may be recog- nized. First is discovery, secondly is occupation, and thirdly the es- tablishment of an administration, Britain qualifies by all three re- quirements, The Falkland Islands were first sighted about 350 years ago by an English explorer, but he did not land. Some years later a French expedition did land, and shortly after there was a Spanish landing, The French gave up the islands to Spain, and subsequently Spain transferred then to Britain with the status of dependency. The British then establish cd meteoroli- gical stations, The location is valu- able strategically, and that was why the Germans sent out a strong fleet in 1034 to destroy the British wire- less depot at Port Stanley. The in- ferior British fleet was sunk, but the Admiralty quickly assembled a stronger fleet than the Germans hcd out there and destroyed it in turn. The trade of the inhabitants is almost entirely with Great Britain, There are some minerals, but the chief business is wool, there being 000,000 sheep on the island. The settlers are nearly all descendants of Scottish shepherds who were sent out by the British Govern- ment. Reconversion The remarkable reconversion feat of United -Kingdom automo- bile industry is underlined by the announcement that production is already 955 per cent that of pre- war. Animal Crackers "When 1 go ahead 1 step on my heels—backward 1 step on my toes ...sol walk sideways." Know Your Hockey Stars By ED. Whirling \Vally Stanowski's ef- forts to readjust his style of play to suit the modern trend in hockey will be one of the most Interesting sidelights to the current N.H.L. season, Stanowski, a will o' the wisp on skates, has Ito peer in spectacu- lar, rink -length rushing but his zig-zagging ma- iouevers, how- ever colorful, are no t productive with any degree o f consistency nd actually Wally Stanowski are outmoded in Defence the streamlined, get -the-puck-up system now in vogue. At training camp prior to the start of the 1946-47 season, Wally's play was disappointing but under the constant urging of Coach Hap Day, he showed marked improve- ment and hopes are high that he'll come bouncing back to the stan- dard that made him an All-Star defenseman before the war inter- vened. * * a Ever since he came Est with St. Boniface Seals and displayed his will -o -the wisp style of hockey, Toronto fans have been Stanowski conscious. He and Billy Taylor were the individual satellites of that memorable Memorial Cup ser- ies, which the Seals won, and, after one look at him, the Leafs decided that Stanowski would be a sensa- tion in a Toronto uniform. The only catch was that Red Dutton had hint on the New York Ameri- cans' negotation list, To get him, the Leafs parted with Hap Day and King CIancy, Stanowski, who was born at Winnipeg, April 28, 1010, failed to make the grade with the Leafs on the first attempt and was sent to Syracuse for seasoniltg, The late Eddie Powers, who coached the Stars, used hint at left wing most of that 1038-30 season and Wally, wound up with one goal and 16 assists, He starts the following season with the Leafs and after bagging two goals and seven as- sists, he suffered an ankle injury and later was sent to Providence. Wally , finally clicked in sense tional style in the 1040-41 season and was the talk of the league. He scored seven goals, had 14 assists for 21 points and was selected as an All-Star defenseman, The next • year, however, Stanowski bit the skids with a boons and throughout the league schedule he found it almost impossible to recapture the. form that had made him such a standout the season belore. FITKIN But there were signs in the late stages of that campaign that Wal- ter the great was beginning to snap out of his slump—and when the Leafs moved into the Stanley Cup playoffs Stanowski really came back to form. Once again he was • the Whirling Dervish of all-star fame. He scored two goals and assisted in eight others to play a potent role in the dramatic Stan- ley Cup triumph of the Leafs over Detroit that year, * * * Stanowski went into the R.C.A.F. during the suln ner of 1042 and was stationed at. Winnipeg and Trenton, Ont: While in the Air Force, Wal- ly married and now has a boy, who is officially Wally '* Jr, but gets called "Skippy." He rejoined the Leafs late in 1944, received his discharge and began playing regularly in January. In 84 games, Stanowski scored two goals and had nine assists. In the playoffs, partnered with Reg. Ham- ilton, Stanowski was a standout as the Leafs wound up with the Stan- ley Cup. Whirling Wally had a disap- pointing season last year but his habit of staging spirited comebacks - just when everyoneis down on 11101 keeps the hope glimmering that the 1040-47 eren•'aign will see Stanow- ski back i.t his 1941-42 p-eak. Cordless Iron With the cord attached to the heating ,unit m the safety .tease, a new cordless electric iron, on which Canadian production begins will overcome the bugaboos of uneven heat and fire hazard. The iron proper is lifted from the base for use, while a heat regulator in the base provides the desired temper- ature for various fabrics: You 51'111 patios. Staying Al The St. Regis Hotel 9'ORONi1'O • Every assns. Wit la (loth Shower and 'Telephone i' Single $2.00 aft -- Doable, $8.90 ap O rood food. Dialog end Dane - Inc Nightly. Sherbourne et Carlton Tel. IRA, 4135 11(10315.. DI;AUT11rULLY FURNISH 1 U $1.50 up.. HOTEL METROPOLE 0i'1, At."iCNR, STAA TION VOICE Qs. VIE PRESS How to Pay, a Mortgage A great deal' Of hokum is writ- ten and spoken about taxes and . debt, but only work and saving ever was able to pay off the mort- gage on the old farm and no easier method has yet been devised, —Fort William Times -Journal. Historical Shock When those Canadian stamps honoring Alexander Graham 13ell start to wander into the United States, a lot. of. Americans are going to be amazed to• discover there is something that Edison did not in- vent. — Windsor Star. We've Forgotten Remember that old popcorn vendor who poured into each sack a liberal supply of home-made` bitlti —Brandon Sun. Tit For Tat Twisting the lion's tail was long 110 American pastime. Americans cannot logically object if some British members of Parliantent're- taliate ',y plucking a few tail fea- thers from the eagle. - New' York Sun. Distinction In Prices Used -car prices in • the United States are reported falling from the grotesque to the merely prepos- terous. — Edmonton Journal. Raising the Aunty Because her favorite nephew took her up for the first time in an ele- vator to a height of 200 feet, a heretofore loving and wealthy aunt has disinherited him, There's no end of trouble in sight for those who persist in raising the ante. — Guelph Mercury. Human Lapses Accidents are bound to happen but these can often be prevented if the human element is fully pro- ficient. A study of accident records would no doubt disclose that more mishaps result from human lapses than are caused by mechanical de- fects. — Sarnia Canadian Obsei ver No Chance To Win. How can you win? They don't know why a stock market does what it does even after it docs. — Louisville Courier -Journal. Sure Failure Recipe for matrimonial failure: One girl, one boy, two jobs, one small furnished flat, one mother- in-law, one car, two dogs no ba- bies, no books, — Windsor Star. World Rolls On A former boilermaker now occu- pies the position of governor gen- eral of Australia, succeeding the Duke of Gloucester, and the world. rolls on, — Port Arthur News -Chronicle, Loeale of Exhaustion Why is it that when a woman tells a doctor she's all tired out, he immediately looks at her tongue? Saskatoon Star -Phoenix, Sold by all Druggists -25*, 35c (tube), 50* and $1,0G FOR C RNs OLDS YOU CAN'T SEAT' BUCKLEY'S MIXTURE to QuE TO NEED Op A LAXVE..! In AN iN/1«nvf for Both Children and Adults Al, DEUQs10REs Rll -...met PHILLIPS' i�lK OF mA6N„,, Robbed of Sleep by Rheumatic Pain But No Pain. Now -After a Few Weeks of Kruschen A woman's gratitude at being rid of "such dreadful pains" caused her to write this letter:— "I used to Jsave such dreadful pains in my knees, ankles and shoulders, to say nothing of my back, which used to feel as though it would break., I had no ease, especially at night ... but since taking Kruschen Salts for a few weeks 'only, I feel a different woman, thank goodness. I have no pains now. I feel much brighter and better in every way, and shall certainly continue with Kruschen."—(Mrs.) M.H. Most rheumatic pain and swelling is caused by too much uric acid in the body. Theee painful deposits settle in the muscles, joints and tendons, irritate the nerves, and inflame the tissues. Kruschen Salts acts onthese pain -making deposits by helping your system to dispersethem and to pass them out of your body. This relieves the pain and if you are wise, you will continue with the little morning dose of Kruschen:as a help against further attacks. Try Kruschen for the relief of rheumatic pains and lumbago. 25c and 75c at your nearest drug store, , rt ■. IMPROVED 4634te GUNS AND BOOMS SPEED UP aproal. JOB Hardie Engineers havo developed Iwo orchard puns and a new row crop spray boom that brings a new and greater measure of speed, ease and thoroughness to all spraying operations. The Hardie 202A Spray Gun gives the same performance as T11202 but with different control otbondle,St ys set noOmattes howns and high thepreith uurs The Hardie TR202 Spray Gun delivers. much .pray volume as anymul ti -nozzle gun. Single trigger control ia adjueteble fromwide driving .pray to long distance stream. l:n-built ratchet holds trigger in any deeirsd position. Rhea the Hardie Levelrlte boom encounter, any obstacle the wings toldback, returning to spraying position when Write for Catalog ob.tnole is paced. Either or both wing. can be elevated. Easy up or down adjustment of nozzle. 'section. 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