The Seaforth News, 1947-02-20, Page 6FALL JAMS PENCIL NEARLY INTO HEART,
Fifteen -year-old George Allen,
above, of Newark, N.J., is In
'scions condition following s
freak accident in which he fell
and drove a mechanical pencil
four inches into his chest, neat
51s heart. X-ray photo at right
shows position of pencil.
... JUST IN FUN o••
The Come Back
"I wish," he said in exasperation,
"'that some brainless idiot had pro-
posed to you before we were
thorned."
"He did," replied the wife calm-
ly, "and worse luck, I married
him."
Winged Riches
"Riches," said the teacher, as he
was reading to his class, "take unto
themselves wings and fly away.
What kind of riches does the writer
mean?"
Blank looks met his gaze;
"Surely someone can answer a
question like that. You, Brown,
what kind of riches did the writer
mean?"
Brown hesitated for a moment,
and then plunged. "Ostriches, sir."
Gravity
"What Comes dowit faster than
wood?"
"Stone.'
"Faster than stone?"
"Iron,"
"Faster than iron?"
"Stocks."
e Why?
He was a l riefless lawyer, trying
his best to look busy and prosper
ails, but it was a fatiguing process,
and at la, t he gave it up and went
out to the club, Ieaving a notice on
the door;
"Back in an hour,"
When he returned he was pained
to find someone had added a foot-
note:
"Whatever for?"
Better Still'
Blake: Don't you think it a good
idea to rate all cars according to
their horsepower?
Drake: Not as good as rating ail
drivers according to their horse
tense.
Quite Agreeable
"It is not good for a man to keep
too much to himself," states a
psychologist. The income-tax au-
thorities are said to share this view.
Unforgettable
Friend: ''You will soon forget
her and he happy again."
Jilted. Suitor: "Oh, to, I shan't)
I'ye bought too much for her on
the instalment system!"
Voice of Experience
"Dorothy," said the junior high
teacher, "just how would you de-
scribe a needle?"
"Well," replied the teen-ager, "It
is a bright, shining sewing tool
used around the world. It has a
butt shank, slot latch, ri re
t eye,
throat and hook."
"Mercy, where did you learn all
that?" gasped the teacher.
"I worked in a needle factory
last summer," said the bobby-
soxer.
Self -Appreciation
The girl was out with an Amer-
ican soldier. "So you really think
I'm the most adorable girl you ever
knew?" she cooed.
L`h-huh."
"Do you think I'm the most at-
tractive girl you have ever seen?"
"t' h -huh."
"You do say the most marvellous
things, darling! Do please go on."
The Plea
"Baby 1?i years requires house,
flat or rooms unfurnished for him-
self and parents, both ex -service.
At present seeing them week ends
only. Only those who were babies
once themselves need write."
Only Two
Charley was found by his fore-
man to be smoking near a dyna-
mite dump.
"Whatever are you doing?" cried
the foreman. "Don't you know that
the last time a matt smoked here
he blew up twelve people?"
"Yes, but that can't happen
here." answered the smoker.
"Why?" asked the foreman.
"Because there's only you and
me," said Charley.
Take Your Time
One evening in the "local" the
village "strong man" got into a hot
argument with a friend -Rud wound
up by calling 1t'ttit a liar.
The other ratan naturally resent-
ed the remark,
"Look here." he said, drawing
himself up to his full five feet, "I'l1
sire you just five minutes to take
that back."
"Ho!" said the big man. "And
suppose I don't!"
Then," said the other, after a
slight pause, "I'1l extend the time
limit."
FUNNY BUSINESS
By Hershberger
Nl Er
as
Af
�
J
5Tr J i G rv
i
t /rte my Fl
1 -
"The political candidates cut their ipeeches shorter with
that Itintl of a lmicroppskle 1"
Know Your Hockey Stars
By ED. FITKIN
Young Jim Thomson, who was
not born when Dit Clapper made
his debut in the N.H.L„ is con
aidered one of
t h e . brightest
young defense
prospects in'
profession-
al hockey. The
Leaf ,manage
ment thought
so highly of.
him that, with-
out 'benefit of
minor league
experience, they
retained him as one of the six de-
fence Hien who started last' season:
with the Toronto Maple Leafs.
* r
Despite Thomson's lack of ex-
perience Happy Day paired him
with Babe Pratt early ahat season
and young Jim, while no sensation,
handled himself fairly well. It was
■ tough assignment for the young-
ster and after his first game .he
said: "I never thought there could
be such a difference between major
and pro hockey. When I was play-
ing amateur I knew exactly what
I was doing at all times but up
here in the majors the opposition
Is stronger and faster and they
know snore what they are doing
than I do"
Jirtf Thomson
Defense
• * •
That, of course, night be the re-
action
of any 13 -year-old kid crash-
ing into a postwar N.H.L.- with
most of the prewar stars back in
action, Thomson played in a few
games for the Leafs, but was later
r h for seasoning.
sent to Pittsbu . g o g
There, after a poor start,he fin-
ished
ished the campaign as outstanding
star.
This season, and he's not 20 un-
til Feb. 23, 1947, Jim is giving in-
dications that he is picking up the
experence he needs to mould him
into a star. Ye may need more
seasoning in the minors—but 'he's
one young man to watch.
* • •
Happy Day considers Thomson
on a par with, if not better than,
Red Horner when the rock -'em
sock -'em redhead first broke into
professional hockey, Horner was
a fast breaker, though not a flashy
skater, could pass as well as any
centre in the league, packed a ter-
rific body check but had a very
poor shot. In comparison, young
Thomson does not break as quickly
as Red did, nor has he faculty of
bodying a man as hard as Horner.
The present day rules and style
of play make bodychecking equally
difficult but Jim is a much, stronger
alcater than Horner and has that
extra burst of speed which great
stars seem to ";possess. He has a
hard and accurate right-hand shot
and can pass accurately. He plays
for keeps but checks fairly hard
and seldom is penalized because his
moves' are made right out in the
open.
Young 'Jim was born at Winni-
peg on Feb. 23,'1927; he is an incli
shy of the six foot Mark and weighs
176 lbs. He started his hockey
career with Winnipeg. Excelsiors in
the Manitoba: Bantam league in
,1941-42 and played for the same
team when they moved up to mid-
get hockey the next year. Scout
Squib Walker selected him as a fu-
ture Leaf player. Jim came to To-
ronto and played the 1943-44 season
.with Marlboro Juniors, When Marl-
boros were eliminated, St. Michael's
College added Thomson to their
team. as a wartime replacement, and
later when Trail's inexperienced
team was riddled by injuries in the
Memorial Cup Finals, Thomson
was permitted to play for them.
Yining Jim was a standout star
au
s
Michael's
with the St, team when
they won the Memorial Cup in
1944-49. He played through the.
Eastern finals and the Dominion
championship series with a broken
nose but this did not slow him
down in any respect and it was his
fighting display under such a han-
dicap that proved to the Leaf
management they had an outstand-
ing young star in the fold.
Auctioned for the Dover Battle
of Britain Hospital, a 1920 touririg
ear brought £200 (5800).
65 Miles to the Gallon!
The Larinar is the newest thing in English automobiles. It's a
one -seater, gets 65 miles to the gallon, cruises at 35 mph. Engine
is 2?i hp, Iength 7-5ab, width 2-6, Chassis is in foreground.
Luxuries Provided
In Modern Airliner
The latest aircraft put into ser-
vice by the British Overseas Air-
ways affords an excellent example
of luxury in modern air travel. In
addition to the 'main cabin with its
deep seats (convertible into bunks),
there are promenade lounges pro-
viding ample room for movement,
a cocktail bar, a " ladies powder
room, decorated in white and pink
and a men's dressing room in white
and grey. The color scheme is
of blue and fawn grey and the
walls are lined throughout with
plastic leather cloth. Ceiling light,,
operated by "bright," "dint' and
"off" switches are reinforced by
individual lamps mounted on the
back of each seal. The sears all
facing forward have hinged flaps
which let down to form a table
or it book rest. The window cer-
tains are of cream nylon embroid-
ered with designs in blue, gold and
grey. As a finishing toucli the lin-
tng cloth has been specially tested
for its capacity to keep out strong
moonlight which might otherwise
keep passengers awake.
Jews "Accepted"
In Great Br•
itain
For generations Jews in Britain
have pusscssecl the rights and Pri-
vilege of citizenship in larger mea-
sure than in any other country in
the world, says the London Times.
The offices and honors of the
State are open to them as freely
as to any others: they arc excluded
front no profession or industry; if
they are wronged they can appeal
with confidence to the even hand-
ed justice of the cu.trts of law Not
only that, hitt Jews who have suf-
fered from persecution and tyranny
in other lands have,, over 'a long
period, foiinel security in Britain.
It • is unlikely that more titan a
small minority of thein have an
sympathy with the evil deeds cum
members.. of their raremilted by I
in Palestine.
Luxury
:"The first of twenty streamlined
bedroom -buffet -lounge cars of a
new design has been built at the
Point St. Charles Shops of the
Canadian National Railways.
KITNAPER
Harriet, a chimpanzee at Ft.
Worth, Tex., zoo, likes cats and
when young Felix romped past her
rage, Harriet grabbed him. Cro-
chety old chimp constantly mothers
the cat; fixing a bed of straw for
him and crooning tenderly over
him, Only a banana will tempt her
to let him go.
Filling the Lamps
In. Farmer's Home
How clear and Iour • n shining arethe
g
chimneys of lamnps ranged on a
kitchen mantel shelf can be talcen
as a glistening gauge of farm
housekeeping. On farms to which
electricity has not yet brought its
bright beneficence there is always
a day set aside for the simple but
rather fussy ceremony of "filling
the lamps", The filling process co-
vers more than appears in the verb.
It means also a trimming of wicks,
with sometimes one or more to be
replaced, and it includes a washing
of chimneys In hot suds and a pol-
ishing of them inside and out,
usually with old newspapers. Then
the lamps—which themselves have
been rubbed or perhaps washed—
go back on the shelf, to be carried
that night to rooms from whish
they have been collected.
Despite the spread of rural elec-
trification, there are still plenty of
farms where oil lamps serve long
hours on Winter nights and morn-
ings, and in Summer make lures
for moth and mosquito. Statisti-
cians report that during 1946 there
were more than five thou-
sand more farms "connected up".
But even with this good-sized in-
crease in wires and bulbs there re-
main many thousands of farms
'where "filling the lamps" is a chore
to be accomplished each week. And ,
this filling, of course, counts a
couple of barn lanterns.
The kerosene lamp, particularly
in its -larger sizes, is .now raink-
ing as an antique in a fast-moving
age when "antiques" grow to com-
mercial maturity with astounding
rapidity. But in many .country
homes tonight a warm, yellow glow
front such .lamps shines out,
through polished chimneys, across
near -by `snowbanks and a well
shovelled path to the barn.
Nat's best recorded speed is just
over 25 m.p.h.—reached after 40.
yards in a 100 yards race.
Big Payroll
The Canadian National Railways
wit] an average payroll of 100,000,
is the largest employer of labor
in Canada. With annual " pur-
chases as high as 100 million dol-
lars, it is the biggest individual
buyer of materials to the Domin-
ion.
rjBurli's,,Sores,�jCuts`.:Ete:
ITC•II -oyrin
.op Money Ba
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ASSOCIATED ENTERPRISES Dept. W.
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Please semi me bo•ee of matcher.
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AH,,1INTERNAL
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