HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1947-02-13, Page 2JUST IN FUN
Understood
Wife: "Well, dear, I'll meet you
rt ; the Biltmore at twelve for
Husband; "All right, but please
don't be any later than one."
Trpthful
A coal merchant advertised for
Gt boy, and in due course a number
applied for the Job.
"Do you like work?" he asked•
one of them.
"No, sir," was the prompt an-
awer.
"Then you can have the job,"
said the coal merchant. "You are
lite first boy Pee seen who has told
Ole truth."
In Technicolor
illm producer .visited his
ocs:list and complained of seeing
spots before his eyes.
"Well, smiled tie oculist, "there's
nothing serious about that. We'll
have you fixed up in no time.
;Why, thousands of people see spots
before their eyes."
The producer smiled.
"Yes, I know that," he replied.
'but mine are in technicolor."
Wise Words
"11 you make out your income
tax return wrong, you are in -the
bands of the law," says a contem-
porary, "and if you snake it out
sight, you are in the hands of the
5(ceiv er."
The "J" as "H"
.A. woman travelling by train was
talking with a man in the next seat.
In describing her holiday, she said
that she had visited San Jose.
"You pronounce that wrong,"
said the man. "It's San Hosay. In
California you pronounce all the
jea as h's. When were you there?"
The woman thought for a me -
anent, then answered, "In Hone
and Huly."
Off The Wire
The young reporter thought that
the old man in the potato -field.
looked the last word in rusticity.
"Good morning," he said, "Love-
ly day."
"Ay," answered the oldest in-
habitant, leaning on his hoe. "But
there's rain coming."
"Flow do yon know that?" the
reporter asked. "Red sky at morn-
ing — shepherd's warning, eh? Or
perhaps you've means of your
own?"
Dunno nothing 'bout that," was
the reply, "But it was on the wire-
less last night, end in all the papers
this morning,"
Her Choice
Brother -Tom: "Yes, I like him
well enough Polly, but how did
you ever happen to marry a man
• head shorter than you are?"
His Married Sister: "I had to
choose, Tom, between a little man
with a big salary and a big man
with ,a little salary."
Different
He asked the lady for her hand;
She yielded to his wishes;
But now that they are wed she sets
His hand to washing. dished -
Simple
Master of House: "Why did you
tell your mistress what time I came
Thome last night after I had told
you to be quiet about it-"
Maid: "I didn't sir. She asked
Inc what time it was, and I told her
1 was too busy getting breakfast to
notice."
8 Killed, 100 Hurt
Wreckage and overturned cars
Utter the Southern• Paetfle tracks
near Bale}seetcl, Calif.,. where
the San Francisco -to -Los Ange-
r les Owl jumped the rails, killing
eight persons and Injuring 100.
ALASKAN MANEUVER
Throwing cold water on the old Hindu rope trick, a couple of
Task Force Frigid soldiers prove you can do it without being a
fakir—if you've got Alaska's 58 -below -zero temperature. First, Sgt.
Carl Muldoon of Geneva, N.Y., gave the rope a few applications
of water and let frigid nature take its course. Half an hour later,
Muldoon tootled on an icicle flute while Pfc. Boxy Herd, Mineola,
N.Y., registered amazement.
Know Your Hockey Stars
By ED. FITKIN
Bigger and heavier and consider-
ably stronger than when he broke
into pro hockey as an 18 -year-old
junior ace in
1942-43, B u d
Poile is expect-
ed to be a
standout m a n
for the Leafs
this season. Six
feet tall and
packing be-
tween 185 and
190 pounds in
Poile, Centre playing condi-
tion, Poile is
quite a hunk of hockey player. He's
a right-hand shot — and what a
shot! Pucks don't fly any faster
than the way Poile propels 'em
and that deadly drive and his play -
making ability have earned him
the nick -name of "Point -a -game"
Poile. Bud„ prior to this season,
has played 74 N.H.L. games and
has 64 points to his cerdit.
* *
In 1942-43, his only full season
as a Leaf, Bud scored 18 goals and
had 19 assists for 35 points in 48
games. In playoff competition the
same season, he bagged 2 goals
and 4 assists for 8 points in 6
games. During the 1943-44 season,
on leave while transferring from
the Royal Canadian Air Force to
the Canadian Army, Poile played
11 games with the Leafs. He scor-
ed four goals in his first start and
in the 11 games collected six goals
and eight assists for 14 points.
Last winter, back from overseas
service,. Poile played nine games
for the Leafsand clicked for nine
points—one goal and eight assists.
* * *
Like Gaye Stewart and Gus
Bodnar, Poise is a product of the
Thunder Bay hockey incubator. He
was born at Fort William, Feb, 10,
1924, and began his climb to hock-
ey's •big time via the bantam -midg-
et -juvenile route in his home town,
* * *
Scout George (Squib) Walker,
who - nabbed him for the Leafs,
says that Bud. was "a super star"
as a junior. He and Bodnar were
team mates with the Fort Wil-
liam Hurricane -Rangers for two
years and after Bodnar won the
scoring championship of the Thun-
der Bay League; . "Squib" promis-
ed Poke a trip to Toronto to see
the Leafs in the Stanley Cup play -
Norman (Bud)
Swiss Boom
Switzerland is an island of pros-
perity in the midst of Europe. Fig:
ures just received show thatin'dus-
try is humming, everyone is at
Work, the :est of living is stable,
and prices have fallen a bit. The
tourist trade reflects this situation,
as foreigners have been flocking
back to Switzerland in greater
num Ters than ever since t93.4, to
enjoy the good things of life to be
round there as nowhere else in
1"'.uropet
—Ottawa ("lagan
offs if he could win the scoring
title the second year. Bud did and
got his trip. The next season he
was playing for—not just -watch-
ing—the Leafs,
* * *
Poile joined the Canadian Ac-
tive Army in April, 1943, transfer-
red to the R.C.A.F, and then re-
turned to the Army. He went over-
seas in July, 1944, and served with
Sigals Corps in Italy, France and
Germany. He wzs in Oldenburg in
Northern Germany on VE Day.
Prior to returning to Canada last
March, Pofie was picked for an
All-Star Army Headquarters team
that toured France and Czecho-
slovakia. He spent his 22nd birth-
day last Feb, 10 in "Gay Payee."'
Bud was married in 1943 shortly
before going overseas.
Britain Slates
Humble Folk
For I-lrgh Posts
Columns are being written about
the fact that the son of a butcher
is being slated for the governor
generalship of Australia, says the
Ottawa Journal. Why? Surely it ,
has ceased to be news that sons
of-, butchers and bakers and other
humble folk have won by divine
right of intellect to the highest
posts of power! And not merely
in new countries like Australia, the
United States and Canada. In
England, where they are supposed
to have a caste system, democracy
in government but not in society,
any number of then, sons of poor
homes, ,have risen to the stimniits
—lock over the records of Mr. Att-
lee's ministers! ?`lore,, turn to the
supposedly blue-blooded Conserva-
tive .party and note that the de-
scendant of a Yorkshire bare -
knuckle fighter and runner rose to
be Lord Chancellor—F. E. Smith,
later Lord Birkenhead.
It is an inverted snobbery which
assumes it is wonderful news when
a poor boy rises to the height to
which his intellect entitles him.
Sly bog
"John, .I hope I 'didn't see you
smiling at that girl,"
"I hope. you didn't, my dear."
FLYING TO . LONDON
Making his first trip to London since he was appointed United
Kingdom High Commissioner to Canada last year, Sir. Alexander
Clutterbuck, K.C.M.G., M.C., is shown checking in at the T.C.A.
passenger office at Montreal before departure of the big Trans-
Canada Air Lines transAtlantic plane for London. Sir Alexander
plans to remain in London for two weeks, during which time he
will see Lord Addison, Secretary of State, Dominions Office,' to
discuss routine matters and keep in touch with the latest develop-
ments.
VOICE OF THE PRESS
Or Bigger
The folly of betting on .horse
races is generally admitted, but
gambling on the human race con-
tinues—which seems to involve a
similar risk.
—Kingston Whig -Standard.
A Billion
It's not likely that you'll ever get
the chance, but just the same it
would require 19 centuries to spend
51,000,000,000 -at the rate of 51 a
minute.
—Stratford Beacon -Herald.
Meanest Mishap
The season's most embarrassing
mishap happened to two New York
thieves who stole a truck, and then
got the horn stuck just as they were
driving away.
—Edmonton Journal.
Parental Surprise
When you looked forward to the
time when your offspring would be
big enough to do things for them-
selves, you did not realize what
they would do.
—Brandon Sun.
Know Not Unity
Pandit Nehru claims all the free-
doms for the people of India, and
few will deny his right to do so.
But a sovereign people need unity
as well as freedom and of the first
principles of unity the Indians seem
to have not the foggiest notion.
—Vancouver Province.
Current Affairs
An educational experiment ape
plied to Britain's fighting Services.
during the war, which proved high-
ly popular- and successful has re-
sulted in an important new devel-
opment in methods of education in
Britain's schools. It is the intro-
duction of current affairs as a reg-
ular. subject into the educational
syllabus. This change is a direct
outcome of topical discussions and
informed guidance which were ar-
ranged by the War Cabinet to en-
surethat every fighting man should
have adequate opportunity to ac-
quire a basic knowledge of world
affairs. "Current Affairs" is now a
well established item on all school
schedules. -
It's Still Work
Mrs. Blank—Do you want em-
ployment?"
Tramp—"Lady, you mean well,
but you can't make worst sound
any better by using a big word for
it." ,
Definition
Apartment: A place where you
start to turn off the radio and find
you've been listening to the neigh-
bors.
Peninsula Light.
Fuel First
A chemist announces that 87 dif-
ferent products can be made from
coal. People who struggled with
Some of the war -time coal will
wonder Why the scientists didn't
concentrate on making a decent
fuel of it and forget about the other
things.
—Kingston -Whig-Standard.
War Bride, Babies
Given Big Welcome
The recent publicity given to
that small group of English war
'brides who reported their unhappy
experiences in the United States is
no doubt overshadowed by the
thousands of brides who received
a royal welcome, The following
story is' authenticated by the
writer, who participated in collect-
ing the money mentioned, says H.
B. E., in the Christian Science
Monitor.
:h 4 4'
G.1: s of the 82nd Airborne Di-
vision, returning home on the
Queen Mary, were particularly
charmed with three young travel-
ing companions—rosy little triplets,
aged perhaps eighteen months, on
their way to America with their
mother. It soon became known that
their father was an ex-G.I., now
discharged and waiting in the
States for his English wife and
babies, and immediately something
was in the air,
' The Queen Mary steamed into
New Fork harbor, the young father
was on the dock, to be greeted, not
only by his family, but with a check
for several thousand dollars — a
welcome -home gift to the babies.
from the thousands of Americans
on board.
CLEARANCE
SHEET-STEE.I.
LINERS
• For Truck Flooring
• Feed Bina
• Barn Sidings, Etc.
• 36" width, varying lengths
Phone or Write
HYDRAULIC METALS
LTD.
TORONTO
1861 Dundas St. — LO. 2133
A -Bomb Control
The protection of the world
against an atomic holocaut will
achieved not by finespun diploma-
tic formulas or juggling of agen-
cies, but by the willingness and de-
termination of all nations to abide•
by the 'atomic' law. That means the
renunciation , of all legal loopholep
for evasion, Until agreement o
that point has been reached,'and
until an effective international sys-
temis in operation, there is r10
reason for the United States tither
to abandon or to share its mostpo-
tent weapon."
— New York Times,
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