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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1946-12-26, Page 6Se JUST IN FUN A Runaway The captain of a ,steamer took on two hands- one a Kirkcaldy ,Mane without . a written ,character, the tither a man from Dundee pos- tessed of abundant documentary evidence as to his honesty, ? They had not been . long at sea vela they encountered rough wea'1eer, and the Dundee man, when - crossing the deck with a bucket in his, hand, was swept ov- erboard. The, Kirkcaldy man sought out the captain. "Dae ye mind yon mon from ,Dune,ee," he said, "that ye engag- ed ev'' the fine chs atter?" "les" said the captain. "What of rt?" "Ire's awe' wi' yer bucket," was the reply. Idcxtified' "I've called for a parcel address- ed 10 Mr. •Smith," the roan an- ' pounced in the village post office. "Ch 'ave 'ee," replied the post - mat' er. "But how do Oi know 'ee are Mr. Smith?" "(1'11y, have a lock at this," the mar answered. talcir.g out a photo- graph of himself. "That looks like nee, doesn't it?" "Ah, so it do," answered the postmaster; and handed over the pa -cel! nsmal Crackers "He happened to ily by during the badminton game," Repair Only A bride had four umbrellas given to her as wedding presents, and decided she would change one of them, the gift of aScots friend, for a walking -stick for her hus- band. She took the umbrella to the shop whence it came, and asked that it Wright be changed. The as- sistant said she was afraid it could not be done. "But why?" asked the bride. "The name of your shop is one the label," "Yes," said the assistant. "But that's a label for re-covering." Crippled The beggar carried a Iarge label marked "Crippled", and the kind old lady was so touched that she dropped a dine into his tin. A few minutes later she was sur- prised and annoyed to see him hurrying down the street, walking quite normally. When she challenged him about his claim to be crippled, he replied smoothly: "Madan, it is, also! pos- sible to be crippled in other sense than the physical one. I happen to be crippled in a purely financial Pretty Steep Tlie evacuees were billeted an the top floor of t: hotel. Coming omit uI their bedroom they search- ed es erywhere for a staircase, but could find nothing but a dark lift Awl The gate was open. so Liz stepped forward. Her friend peer - td out into the darkness note all right, Liz?" she called. "Yes," came' a feeble reply. 'Brut mind the first step; it ain't a steep 'mil" Keeps Them Healthy Mrs, Brown and Mrs. Smith were discussing the difficulties of mar- ried life. "I'm always very careful," said Mrs. Smith, "to send the children out of the room, in fact out of the house, when I have a quarrel with my husband." "Bless the little clears," said Mrs. Brown, "they look so healthy spending so much time in the open air." Grandma's Answer Grandma was telling the family about her .day in town. "I met such a pleasant young man in the train," she said, "He offered to give me the winner of the herby." "And did he?" one asked eagerly. "Of course not, my dear," she replied, "I had to tell 'him that the chickens take up all' the garden and. Wc'vc no roost fora horse." TOME -MADE FARM MACHINERY A feature of the recent plowing match, held at Port Arthur, Ont. was a large collection of home-made f arm machinery. The whole display was proof of the inventive genius of the Canadian farmer. Every one of the invented pieces worked well, and some of the farm machinery had been taken right off the job on the farm to be brought to the snatch and would go straight back to work afterward. Top picture shows a power loader built by W. J. Alexander, of Hensall, while picture (centre) is a close-up of the winch for the 'ieloader. This drive unit utilizes an old automobile rear - axle and employs the differen- tial braking principle to provide control. This is a good example of a clean simple adaptation of a commonly available unit. The garden tractor at lower left was made by Ken Campbell, Sea - forth, out of spare parts lying about the farm, and a small gas motor, Planes in 1950 Even before construction work- begins orkbegins on Britain's series of Brab- anon airliners, designers and en- gineers in the United Kingdom are already suggesting their successors for "some time in the 'fifties:" The plane of the next decade, accord- ing to the experts' composite ideas, will be tailless, shaped like an ar- rowhead, capable of a speed of 600 miles per hour at 50,000 feet alti- tude, and will have a range of 3,500 miles. Clouds and Weather. It is not enough to look at the barometer and also note the direc- tion of the wind in order to pre- dict the weather. Cloud formations must aslo be studied. This was emphasized by Prof, George H. Kimble, director of McGi11 Observatory in a recent ad- dress. Shepherds and sailors from time immemorial have set great store on knowledge of cloud formations, while nearly all weather lore is about clouds, the weatherman point- eded out. Clouds, he said, probably tell more about weather than any other single element. What Science is Doing Arthritis Opening a campaign for $2,500,- 000 with which to co-ordinate and extend study of the causes, preven- tion and treatment of arthritis, Dr. Thomas Ferran, surgeon -general of the United States, produced some challenging statistics, says The New York Sun. The rheumatoid diseases affect at least one person in every 20 in the United States, he reported, A national health survey 10 years ago revealed that 7,000,000 Persons were suffering from these diseases — "more than the number sufering from heart disease, cancer, tuberculosis and diabetes com- bined," He estimated that each year more than 07,000,000 man -days are lost from work, school or other activities because of arthritis, that its victims most frequently are in the prime of life when their econo- nomic responsibilities are greatest. He further told his audience that although arthritis is one of the old- est known human diseases, it is one of the least understood and most neglected, Rheumatoid arthritis is one of the most crippling and pain- ful of ailments, and even if its vic- tims are not completely incapacitat- ed, their efficiency is lowered by nagging aches. No Canadian Butter Exported It has been reported frequently that Canada has exported import- ant quantities of butter to the United Kingdom. That is not cor- rect, stated J. F. Singleton, Asso- ciate Director, Marketing Service, Dairy Products, Dominion Depart- ment of Agriculture, and Chair- man, Dairy Products Board, in a recent address. No butter, he said, had been exported to the United Kingdom, although no doubt rela- tively small' quantities of Canadian butter have been provided for ships' stores, and those would be • classified as exports to the coun- tries to which the ships were sail- ing. Total quotas established amounted to 5.6 million pounds, of which 3 million pounds was "cooking" butter of such low qual- ity thatthere was no market for the product in Canada, Quotas of -"table" butter totalled 2,6 million pounds. The quantity exported will amount to about 1.7 per cent of total production of creamery and dairy butter. Save The Fingers An easy way to pick up broken glass to prevent scratched fingers and feet is to take a piece of fresh bread and wad it into a ball and use in a blotting fashion. Keeping Pupils Warm We may appreciate Britain's cur- rent fuel difficulties when we read that schools in London have been ordered not to start fires unless the temperature falls below SO degrees and that 'calisthenics every. hour are suggested as an aid to warmth: Brockville Recorder and News. What's The Use? From an article giving advice to" amateur carpenters,,: we learn that "a nail drives easier if rubbed on a . cake of soar.." Yes, but what nail? And further than that, where do we get the soap? Might as well tell us to put butter on it! --Ottawa Citizen. Have Wrong Slant Farmers who think their grand- children owe them a decent living have the wrong slant on life. We ought to handle the soil so that. those who come after' us can make a living, tool. -The Farmer's Advocate. Double Precaution There have been many expres- sions of opinion in American news- papers that Joint L. Lewis should be thrown into jail. It is 'not too much to say that a very large part of Canadian opinion endorses that Sentiment with the amendment that tine keys should be thrown away. Meet The "Fluonomist" The passion for farcy names is spreading to England. A Sussex chimney sweep now calls himself a "fluonomist" and charges six- pence more per chimney. —Edmonton Journal. Highly Favorable How many farmers realize how greatly favored they are in their complete control over their roll- ing acres' of land, theirs to do with as they wish? It is not. thus in many other lands. —Owen Sound Sun -Tithes, Too Bad Being too cautious or too reck- less or too anything is too bad. -Aingston Whig -Standard. Many Birds Spend Winter In Ontario While many of our feathered friends have taken themselves south with the approach of chilly weather that does not mean that , the birds have all gone. To many a bird Ontario is practically tropi- cal. During late Autumn and Win- ter we may observe birds which we cannot see at any other season of the year. Among these birds arc the fa- miliar ones such as the slaty grey junco, sometimes called the black snowbird. You'll know him. at once by the white feather at either side of his tail. In company with tree sparrows,- also down for the winter, the juncoes feast on weed seeds that remain above the snow level. Snow buntings too whirl up from fields of weed seeds like a flock of snowflakes by the wind. The Bohemian waxwing is a jaunty fellow in grey and brown and yellow, with blobs of red on each wing, like drops of sealing wax. The scarlet berries o' the. mountain ash are his favorite snack. Ho is a little smaller than a robin, as are the Pine Grosbeaks and the Evening Grosbeaks, also Hinter guests. The Pine Grosbeak is rosy red in colour, and yoti'll see him searching out the seeds of the ash tree. The Evening Grosbeak is a dashiing fellow in canary colors. He prefers the seeds of the Manitoba maple, or box elder. The Northern 'Shrike, with the black mask over his eyes, may be a desperado, but hes not ail bad. Mice foram the greater part of his food, He hangs them on a thorn or barbed wire fence until • his lunch- hour comes, .accounting for his name the "butcher bird". Subsidies And Taxes In speaking against subsidies, an M.P. said: "A subsidy merely 'takee. money out of one pocket and puts it in another, " So what? A tax does the san'ie thing, —Guelph Mercury " But Never To You A really good sermon'`always seems to apply- to someone you know, --Quebec Chronicle -Telegraph Advance Of Science An astronomer fell 20 feet off his telescope. Several new star's were discovered. -Ottawa ",Citizen Targets And Hopes The target for housing in Canada is 400,000 homes •within the next five years: If people could only live in targets for the .next five years, everything would behunky-dory, —The Windsor Star. CABINET CHANGES Hon. Brooke Claxton Hon. Colin Gibson Hon. Paul Martin A three-way shuffle affecting the Welfare, National Defence and Department of Secretaty of State was announced by Prime Minister W. L. Mackenzie King. Hon. Brooke Claxton, K.C., minister of national health and welfare becomes the new minister of national defence,in charge of all three services, army, navy and air force. Hon. Paul Martin, K.C., secre- tary of state, becomes minister of health and welfare, Hon. Colin Gibson, minister of national defence for air, becomes secretary of state. REG'LAR FELLERS—Full Size Problem BROTHER DUFF(-:.:. PMT TH' MASCOT IN HIS OWN HOUSE • e'EFORE WE START ME. T1,i' ' ., •' '-0:z4TH'Ati S -fi.i' .g : WORST OF HAWN. A SAiNT. BERNARD FOR. A MASCOT, y,; 'HE TAKES UP ee MUCH ROOM! "[� By GENE BYRNES