HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1946-12-12, Page 2JUST 1N : FUN
That's Right
"What does this expression 'Sez
you' mean?" asked the judge.
The clerk of the court replied;
"My lord, it appears that this is
a slang expression of American
origin which has gained regret-
table currency in the language of
our people through the insidious
agency of the cinema, and is, I am
led to understand, employed to in-
dicate a state of dubiety in the
mind of the speaker as to the
veracity or . credibility of a state-
ment made to him."
"Oh yeahl"said the judge.
'Waiter
A man who had been arrested
on suspicion was appearing before
the magistrate: "What were you
doing when the policeman came?"
asked the sergeant. "Waiting
air," replied the prisoner. "What
were you waiting for?" "For
money?" Who was to give you
money?" "The man I had been
waiting for." "1Vhat did he owe
it to you for?" "For waiting.".
"Enough of this tomfoolery,"
snapped the magistrate, who . by
now was very angry. "What do
you do for a living?" "I'nt a waiter
sir," replied the innocent man.
Shy
She was a painter in water-
colors and very proud of her work;
also her complexion was the envy
of her acquaintances.
At a party one night she sat next
to a shy, awkward young man, who
cudgelled his brains to find some-
thing to say.
She tried to open conversation
with him. With becoming mod-
esty she said: "I expect you have
heard that I paint?"
"Yes," he replied gallantly, look-
ing at her face. "But I don't be-
lieve it!"
Why Should He
Working in a factory a man got
his coat caught in a revolving
wheel. He was whisked up and
whirled round and round till the
foreman managed to switch off
the machine. The workman fell to
the ground and up rushed the
foreman.
"Speak to Inc. speak to ate," he
said in great agitation.
The victim looked up.
"Why should I," he said. "I
passed you six times just now, and
you didn't speak to me!"
Hard Enough
While Firestone, Edison, Ford
and Burroughs were touring a
light and a tire on the car went
wrong. Mr. Ford went into a
store and said to the proprietor:
"What kind of lights do you have?"
"Edison, was the reply.
"And tires?"
"Firestone."
"You will be interested to know
that Mr, Edison and Mr. Firestone
are in my `car, and that I am
Henry Ford."
As the man was putting on the
tire Mr. Burroughs, who was well
adorned with white whiskers, lean-
ed out of the car, and the man
looking at him, said: "If you tell
me you're Santa Claus, I'll crown
you with this spanner!"
Poor Bait
Father didn't approve of a lot
of things which happened these
days, especially did he dislike the
modern modes.
"Pah!" he snorted. "I don't
know what the world's coating to.
Let me tell you that your mother
never dressed to catch a husband
the way you girls today."
But her daughter was ready for
that one..
"No," she replied, "and look
what she got,"
Correct?
Teacher: "Who can tell me what
the former ruler of Russia was call-
ed?"
Class: "Czar."
Teacher: "Correct, and what was
his wife called?"
Class: "Czarina."
Teacher: 'Correct, and what were
the Czar's children caped?"
A pause, and then a small, timid
voice piped up: "Czardincs."
A Tell -Tale
Mother (at party): "Why did
you allow Mr, Softly to kiss you in
the conservatory?"
Daughter: "Why, ma?"
hfother: "Oh, you needn't 'why
ma' mel One side of his nose is
powdered and one side of yours
isn't, and the people have noticed
it,"
Crowded
Bass: "You want a raise? Wily
didn't you live within your
•
Fntploye: "I do, sir, but you
don't re.'l'+••c how J am crowded
far space."
THREE WISE DOGS
An appealing event at the Royal Winter Fair's Horse Show was
the demonstration of shepherding by Wm. Martin, Maple Creek,
Sask., and his three faithful and intelligent Border Collies
V=: ICE OF THE PRESS
In Peace, Too
'VLat a lot of us have forgotten
is that while it is heroic to die
for one's country in time of war,
it is just as necessary to live for
one's county in time of peace.
—1Voodstock Sentinel -Review.
Dangerous Suggestion
Mr. America, we must assume
from his press statements. is not a
a married man. He advocates that
girls, to regain curves, health and
beauty, take to weight lifting. Such
a wife might be a fit mate for Mr.
America who weighs 205 pounds,
all bone and muscle, But the aver-
age husband will get from his state-
ment only nightmares of coming
home late some night to be clanked
between .the eyes by a 200 -pound
bar bell or some similar gadget
used by weight lifters. A man
wouldn't be safe in his own home.
—Windsor Star
A statistician tells us that it
would take 19 centuries tospenda
billion dollars at the rate of $1 a
minute. So to keep our money
from being eaten by moths we
throw in a war every now and then,
and get rid of the stuff at the rate
of a billion a month.
—Ottawa Citizen
Ribbon Flood
The blear Departinent of the
United States got off on the wrong
foot by cheapening the system
through authorizing too many
medals. It strikes at the value of
all awards when a soldier can wear
a line of six ,ibbons though he has
never been within bomber range
of the zone of action.
—Detroit News.
Here is Progress
'A bank in Dayton, Ohio, has
set up a window at the side of its
building so that motorists can
drive up and make deposits or cash
cheques without leaving their cars.
—Chatham News:
If Ever
It takes only one-fourth of a
second to wink the eye—and years
and years to explain it to the
Missus.
-St. Catharines Standard.
Glowing Headlights
Night motorists who cannot,
or will not, dim their headlights
when approaching other cars have
been responsible for innumerable
accidents and many fatalities.
Traffic courtesy saves lives.
—Ottawa Journal.
REPORT BABS HUTTON WILL WED AGAIN!
Sugar Beet Industry► Important
To Sound, Permanent Agriculture
Editor's note: A few weeks
ago an article on :he sugar beet
industry in the United States
appeared. cal this page. Fol-
lowing is a review of the in-
dustry . in the Province of
Ontario, by M, McIntyre
Hood. Director of Publicity, -
Ontario Department of Agri-
culture.
After reaching a low ebb in the :
year 1941, the sugar beet industry..
of Ontario has since that .year
showed a steady upward trend, and
this year of 1946 has seen: a sub
stantiat,measure of recovery, with
the largestacreageand the larg-
est production within a six year
period. The recovery is by no
means complete, nor has produc-
tion.returned to its pre-war levels,
butthe movement in the growing
of sugar beets for processing into
sugar has been definitely- upward,
thanks partly to the subsidies paid
by tilt. Ontario Government, and
it is hoped that within the .next
two or three years it will have re-
turned to normal proportions, 'so
that the full capacity for the manu-
facture of sugar from bects in the
factories of Southwestern Ontario
may be utilized.
World Shortage of Sugar
The production of sugar the
world over has for the last few
years been far short of require-
ments. For the whole year of 1945,
the shortage of sugar as compared
with the normal requtrements of
the world reached the staggering
total of 2,400,000 long tons. In the
face of that situation, and with
little improvement effected in 1946,
it is essential that every sugar -pro-
ducing area in the world do its
best to increase production. So far
as Canada is concerned, It is im-
perative that this country produce
as much as possible of its own
sugar needs, so that it will draw
a correspondingly smaller amount
from the sadly diminished world
sugar pool. Normally, Canada pro-
duces only about 20 per cent of its
own requirements of about one bil-
lion pounds a year, but that per-
centage is attained only at the
maximum production. Since 1941,
sugar beet production has been far
below normal, although since 1943
it has shown steady increase..
Ontario's Sugar-Plants
There are in Southwestern On-
tario two sugar plants, one at
Chatham and one at Wallaceburg,
operated by the Canada and Do-
minion Sugar Company, Limited.
Since 1941, only one of the plants
has been able to operate, because
there have not been enough sugar
beets grown to operate then both.
It takes 200,000 tons of beets to
operate the Wallaceburg plant at
capacity and 240,000 tons for the
Chatham, plant.
This year there was still a lack
of sufficient sugar beets to operate
the twoplants, although the pro-
duction was much better than in
1945. The total acreage for 1046,
of sugar beets, was 23,875 acres,
compared with 17,660 acres planted
in 1945. This acreage provided a
crop for 1946 of 210,000 tons of
beets, or 8.98 tons p,er acre, as com-
Barbara Hutton, left, heiress to the Woolworth five-and-ten for -
time, will marry Count Alain D'Eudville, right, head of Moet and
Chandon, world's largest champagne .producers, according to the
Spanish News Agency CIFRAS. She previously was married to
Georgian Prince Alexis Mdivani; Count Haugwitz-Reventlow of
Denmark, father of her 10 -year-old son, Lance; and Cary Grant,
screen star. -
pared with 164,000 tons, or an aver-
age of 9,90 tons per acre in the
previous year..
While the situation has been im-
proved to the extent indicated by
the above figures, it is not yet good
enough. This season's beet crop
is all being processed at the
Chatham plant of the Canada and
Dominion Sugar Company, and
will. provide .,efficient raw material
for a run of about 80 days- dura-
tion, which is approximately five-
siNths of a full capacity run. Cur-
rent estimates, on the basis of siigar
content, are for an output of 55,-
000,000 pounds
5;000,000pounds of granulated sugar,
about 10,000 or 11,000 tons of dried
beet pulp, and from 1,500 to 1,800
tons of molasses. -
Good Rotation Crop
For this year's crop, growers are
receiving approxiritately $13,00 per
ton for beets delivered to the fac-
tories, and $12.25' per ton for beets
delivered to outside points. This .
snakes the gross value of the crop
per acre $117.00 and 8110.00 re-
spectively, so that with 23,376
acres planted, the sugar beet crop
represents apProxintately ttvo and
three quarter million d'oltars,to the
growers`. in Southwestern Ontario.
This sugar beet industry is of
great importance to a sound and
permanent agriculture in South-
western
outh-western Ontario. It is a good crop
for the farmers to grow, as part
of their rotation, because it feeds
and cleans up the soil and leaves
it in excellent condition for other
crops. It also plays its part in
providing a longer working sea-
son for farm labour, providing em-
ployment at seasons of the year
when other work is not available
on the farm. It is also important
to the industrial life of the South- -
western section of the Province,
since the operation of the sugar '
processing plants means consider-
able employment in the Chatham.
area.
The Answer
So the final answer to the ques-
tion—how do we pay our way in
the world—is the perfectly obvious
one—by working,
CHAMPION
Grand '.champion silver fox at the
live fqx . and mink. show Calgary,
from Montgomery Fur Farms,
Wetaskiwin, Alta,
Berlin Holiday
Berlin's children will get a five
weeks' -holiday from school ' for
Christmas from Dec: 21 to Jan.
24—as a coal conservation Inca -
sue, it was announced there,
FOR
GEY1CK
Ql1, SRFE
GENTLE REL!EFanaNJ UCKLEY'S
Faster Penetrating WHITE RUIn
How to Combat
RHEUMATIC PAIN
Rheumatic pains may often be caused by
excess uric acid, a blood impurity flat
should be extracted by the kidneys. If
kidneys fail, and excess uric acid remains, it
may cause severe discomfort and pain.
Treat rheumatic pains by keeping your
kidneys in good condition. Get and use
Dodd's Kidney Pills. Dodd's help your
kidneys get rid of trouble -making poisons
and excess acids—help you feel better.
See what Dodd's can do for you. 137
Meco Hydraulic Concrete
Block Press
No better equipment made
anywhere
A Client Wrote:—
'WVe vlalled plants In Waitron,. Ot-
tawa, Toronto, Detroit and Chicago,
mid saw no blorkN 15 ,rood no those
made on the MECO Press."
AGENTS WANTED
MERRICKVILLE
ENGINEERING CO.. LTD.
Merri-kville. Ont.
An All Cnnadlnn I'redltit
N. N. IIANSEN & COMPANY
300 Bay Street
TORONTO -
Presents a Weekly Review of News, Economic Trends
and Items of Current interest 13y
John Collingwood Reade
Columnist, News Analyst and Radio Commentator
This comprehensive survey will be embodied in the regular
service which provides detailed information on mines and mar-
kets prepared, by our statistical department. The combination
will prove entertaining, informative and invaluable to all who
seek to improve their status by the intelligent investment of
funds. We will point to the pitfalls as well as the opportunities
of market. speculation. If you would like to receive this service
without obligation fill in and mail the attached coupon.
H. N. HANSEN & COMPANY,
Investments,
300 Bay Street, Toronto. '
Gentlemen:
Kindly send, Inc Without obligation your weekly service,
Nana ....... ...
Address W.I.,
REG'LAR FELLERS—Don't Push
I WANNA CAVE ALL
YOU GUYS A PRESENT
JEST TO SNOW YA WHAT
A SWELL EG 1- AM'
{JEST STEP RIGHT 1N, FELLERS!
THE GENTLEMAN INSIDE WILL
'TAKE CARE OF YOU! THIS IS ON
ME !JEST MENTION MY NAME f
By GENE BYRNES
FOR KIDDIES!
To celebrate
0 !elttof deur,
D'
COURTESXV
GINSBER6
Ails� r