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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1946-10-24, Page 3JUST is FUN An Error The policeman raised his hand and the woman motorist stopped with a jerk. •'Aa soon as I saw you, miss," the policeman declared, "I said to myself, 'Forty-five at least'." "Oh, no," remonstrated the Woman. "It's , this hat that makes me look so old." Took Off Enough "It is high time." .said the refor- mer,, "that we had a moral awak- ening Let us gird our loins. Let ns take off our coats. Let us bare our arms. Let us—" "Hold on 1" exclaimed a tall. thin woman near the platform. "If this is to be a moral awakening, don't you dare to take off another things" Simple A politician was being compli- mented on an excellent speech he had made. "You are always so convincing," said` his admirer. "Yes, you see," said the speech- maker. becoming confidential. "I always find out in advance what the views of my hearers are likely to be, and then to convince them le quite easy." The Difference "So, your son is in college? How is he making it?" "He isn't making it. I'm making it and he's spending it." Sharp Hr (on the telephone): "Hello dea • How about us having dinner eoge,her this evening?" She: "I would love it." Re. "Well, tell your mother I'll be mer about seven o'clock." HOLD EVERYTHING WG &m1,16 or NFA mulct, Me. T.M. M6 U.11.PAT, ow. d1You sure like your comfort— breakfast in bed)" Go The Limit "r'ow do you spell 'graphic'?" aekerl the young man. "With one ,rr two?" The older man sighed "Well," he raid at last, "if you are going tc .Ibe any. you might as well go tin. limit." Fifty -Fifty "Where have you been?" 'Having my hair cut." "You know you can't have your hair cut in the firm's time." "Well, it grew in the firm's time, didn't it?" "Not all of it." "Well, I didn't have it all cut „ a Prepared A man, lunchigg in a crowded restaurant, broached to his waitress the subject of a second lump of sugar, and was sternly refused. When she had gone he felt a tug at his sleeve, and looked up into the eyes of an old lady who had been sitting at the next table. "Here you are, young man," she whispered, and pressed into his band a lump of sugar she had dredged up front the bottom of her handbag. "I always carry some. In case I meet a horse, you know." Broken Mirror Lovebirds are supposed to be so devoted to one another that if oite dies the other dies of a broken heart. A woman, who owned a very cute pair, had a fire in the house, and one of the lovebirds was suf- focated. Right away the other bird began to pine. The woman wondered if there wasn't some way to keep it alive, so she put a mirror in the cage. The lovebird let out a coo and cuddled up against the mirror and lived for two years. Then it died—of a broken mirror. Enough. "And what is your reason for wishing to marry my daughter?" asked the father. Puzzled, the young man scratch- ed his hears, pondered a second, then anawercd• "1 have no reason I'm in love," MILLION DOLLAR BABIES These two Ottawa girls, employees of the Bank of Canada, know what it feels like to hug a million dollars of giltedge securities. Joan Gilmour, (left), of Ottawa and Sussex, England, and Gwen Tetlock, of Ottawa; each hold two bundles of government bonds worth $5,000,000 each. Of course they know that each individual can only purchase to 'the limit of $2,000 in the present bond campaign, but they can dream, can't they? The date in the photograph is a reminder that Canadian Government Bonds are now on sale and that the public can now satisfy its demand for a convenient way of saving, similar to war bonds. Bank and investment dealers are handling sales. The bonds are available in denominations of }50, $100, $500 and $1000. All bonds are registered and bear 2a/q per cent interest until maturity in ten years time. it VOICE OF THE PRESS That Hat No diplomat is Uncle Hemenway, who, observing his wife's new hat, said he didn t realize Hallowe'en was so close at hand. —Christian Science Monitor. Impossible Science cracked the atom, but nobody could do anything about those army biscuits we remember. —St. Catharines Standard, Look Pleasant, Please Tourists, says a cynic, are people - who motor two thousand miles in - order to take pictures of themselves standing by the car. —Peterborough Examiner. Progress?, Scientists are always taking all the fun. out of everything. They arc processing a seedless watermelon. —Quebec Chronicle -Telegraph. Bad Crossing Record This province tops the list for Canada with fatalities at level crossings -during the past three years. —Guelph Mercury. ' Fantastic Footwear 'Won't men look funny when, as one expert predicts, they adopt high heels? But not as funny as some 'of the girls do clopping around in those sloppy, heel -less contraptions they are wearing nowadays. —Windsor Star. Simple and Dull "Ilow simple life would be if peo- ple wanted and were content with only what they actually needed!" exclaims a columnist. Yes, indeed— how simple and how dull! —Kitchener Record. Of No Value U.S. War Assets are offering for sale 600,000 compasses for which it has no present use, as they only tell you where you're going, not where you are. —Stratford Beacon -Herald. No Trade-in Value Prof. George A. Pound, Univer- sity of Minnesota, figures a farm- er's wife is worth $69,000 to him— if she's a good one. However, he says nothing about trade-in values. —Stratford Beacon -Herald. Price of Old Age A lady of 96, living in Chicago, attributes her longevity .to the fact that she has never been"bothered by a man." That's quite a price to pay, if we may say so. —Peterborough Examiner. It's Wonderful The only countries that haven't any industrial troubles are those that haven't any industries. True enough, and those that have indus- trial troubles because they have industries will shortly have no in- dustries and consequently no furth- er industrial troubles. Peace, ain't it wonderful! —Ottawa Citizen. Motor Trail of Death There is a recklessness on the highways of Ontario this year be- yond anything of the kind ever ex- perienced before. A greatly increas- ed number of motorists appear to have gone "speed -crazy" overnight. The results are inevitable. The motor car is leaving a trail of death and . disaster in Ontario in 1946 that is appalling. —Guelph Mercury. ( rte TALKS .. A Sweet Story . There are some advantages in using honey as a substitute for sugar. It'doesn't remain undis- solved in the bottom of the cup when used to sweeten beverages as sugar often does. Liquid honey, warmed slightly and drizzled over the morning cereal • adds flavour and sweetness. It makes an excel- lent sweetener for fresh or cooked fruits. For example, mixed with a little cloves or cinnamon it adds a new note to baked pears or apples. Part of the sugar may be replac- ed with an equal quantity of honey in baking. Cookies and cakes re- tain their moisture longer when honey is used; but because of this hygroscopic property of honey, that is its ability -to absorb and hold moisture, it should not be stored in the refrigerator or in a damp place. It will absorb moisture and gradu- ally become diluted to the point where spoilage will occur. Honey should be stored covered In a dry place. The pantry shelf is as good a place as any. If granulated honey should start Frogs Not Beautiful But Useful To Man Frog are not the most beautiful of living creatures, nor do their fa- cial characteristics reveal any glimmering of intelligence, but nat- uralists have come forward with stout defences for the ungainly things which appear to be neither fish, flesh nor fowl, says the Wood- stock Sentinel -Review. The frog may not be beautiful, say the naturalists, but its lack of loveliness is more than made up by its usefulness to man. Disdaining even to mention the delicacy of frogs' legs, the savants point pride- fully to the fact that a toad has been known to eat 50 army worms at a single meal and polish the repast off with a few cutworms for dessert. And it seems the honest frog hides beneath that rough visage a keen set of brain cells. Naturalists are full of examples of froggy thinking power—frogs who swal- low bees only do it once, thus proving themselvessuperiorto hu- mans, who are forever. getting stung, Hong Kong Stays British Fleet Base Vice -Admiral Sir Denis Boyd, Commander in Chief British Pa- cific Fleet, confirmed in Nanking that Hong Kong would continue to be the Pacific Fleet's headquarters and Singapore its main dockyard. Admiral Boyd said the Pacific Fleet already was scaled down to prewar strength, the minimum re- quired to cope with any possible emergency in the area. Part of his force was still detailed to the United States Navy com- mand based on Japan, he said. LIFE'S LIKE THAT By Fred Neher "Quick, dear, look what baby taught the pup!" FUNNY BUSINESS By Hershberger "I ate one like that yesterday, but I can't rave about them like those fellows do when they miss one!" to ferment, it may be reclaimed by heating slowlyover hot water or by setting the container (if water- proof) directly in hot water, until honey is completely liquified. Skim and cool as quickly as possible. )t is a good idea to give this treat- ment to any honey which is to be stored in any quantity for a length of time. The recipes for today feature honey, and it is suggested that any one of them would make a nice addition to the Thanksgiving menu. APPLE SQUASH SCALLOP 4 cups squash cut in 1/4 -in. slices 3 medium apples sliced (about 3 cups) IA cup honey 1 tablespoon water 1 cup soft stale bread crumbs 1 tablespoon fat, melted 1 teaspoon poultry seasoning Pepper 11/4 teaspoon salt Place alternate layers of squash and sliced apples in a greased cas- serole. Drizzle each layer with honey, sprinkle with salt and pep- per. Add water- Top last layer with crumbs which have been mixed with the melted fat, poultry season- ing, salt and pepper. Bake in a moderate oven 350 deg. F. for 45 minutes or until squash and apples are tender. Six servings. SPANISH CREAM 1 taplespoon gelatine 1/4 cup cold water %s teaspoon salt 2 cups milk 2 egg yolks 1 teaspoon vanilla 3 tablespoons honey (liquid or granulated) 2- egg whites Soak gelatine in cold water. Add salt to milk and heat in double boiler. Beat egg yolks slightly and pour hot milk slowly into them, stirring constantly. Return to dou- ble boiler and cook until thickened, about ten minutes, or until mixture coats a silver spoon. Remove from heat, add vanilla and gelatine and stir until gelatine is dissolved. Chill until mixture just begins to thicken, then fold in meringue made by beating honey and egg whites to- gether until stiff. Pour into mould rinsed with cold water or lightly greased, and chill until firm Six servings. Labor And Farmers The fact of the matter is that the economic aims of labor and the economic aims of agriculture are, and always have been, diametrically opposed. The farmer wants cheap factory goods—to which labor is opposed. The labor man wants cheap food—to which the farmer is opposed. It was thus yesterday: it will be so tomorrow.—Calgary Herald. YOU CAN BUY superb Maxwell House Coffee in either a Super -Vacuum Tin in Drip or Regular Grind, or in a Glassine - Lined Bag in an All Pur- pose Grind. NEW 10W PRICES 17 tablets 18C 24 tobleb 29e 100 tablets 79e GENUINE ASPIRIN IS, MARKED THIS WAY REG'LAR FELLERS—Completed Case—Almost <Py1iMP HUDSON" BIJSTEW MY SCOOTER.-- I COOTER.- 1 WAi4MA SUE HIM FOR. A HUNNF-IVV MILLION DOLLARS,' I'l 60 OVER. AN yTA4K, T �; BUMP-- MAY0E WE. KDV SE rTI,E 14114CA-5E OuTA COURT';. ��"•J+ CONGRA`fCHEIELA51iUNss M15TEFZ BUMF SETTLE80 WR A PENNY CASH AN' tsix rJELLY BEApis • By GENE BYRNES IHOWEVER.,MY TIM JELLY' BEANS AN' TWO CENTS CASH-- RAY' UP OR I START SUNG.' C PI MY OWN ACCOUNT ! FEE. 19 1 WHA— WHA`r 7