The Seaforth News, 1946-10-17, Page 6DOST IN FUN 11
Don't Worry
Officer in charge of rifle range:
"Don't you know any better than
to point an empty gun at me?"
Raw Recruit: "But it isn't emp-
ty,'sir; it's loaded."
Simple
Lady of the House: "Norah, the
window in your room is ao dirty
you can't see out of it."
Norah: "But madam, when I
want to look" out I open it."
Robbery, That's All
Two burglars had broken into a,
toiler's shop and were sorting out
some suits when one of them saw
one marked $50. "Bert, look at
the price of that one," he said
'Why it's downright robbery."
Icy Words
The amateur actors wer re-
hearsing.
Mrs. Jones was required to kiss
Mr. Smith, and as they arrivedat
that incident Mrs. Smith appeared.
"Oh," excaimed Mrs. Jones, "I
hope, dear, you don't mind my
kissing your husband."
"Not at all darling." was the icy
reply. "I don't mind in the least
if he doesn't."
The Truth
A young boy in the witness box
was so much at ease and answering
the questions put to him so fluently
that the judge was suspicious.
"Did anyone tell you what to say
in court before you came here
he asked.
"Oh; yes sir," replied the boy.
Counsel for the prosecution was
up in arms at once.
"I felt this witness had been tam-
pered with," he snapped.
The judge turned to the boy.
"Will you telt me," he said, "who
told you what to say?"
"My father, sir," answered the
boy. "He said the lawyers would
try to get me alt tangles up ,but
if I stuck to the truth 1 would be
quite all right."
THE SPORTING THING
`Know any hot numbers, bud?"
A Way Out
Mathematics was not John's
strong point, and at the examina-
tion he was given a problem as fol-
lows:
"If one horse can run one mile
in a minute and a half, and an-
other horse can do the same dis-
tance in two minutes, how far
would the first horse be ahead if
they ran a race of two miles at
their respective speeds?"
John worried over this for some
time, and then thought of a way
out.
"I regret to say," he wrote, "that
I cannot deal with this problem,
as my parents have always told me
never to have anything to do with
horse -racing in any form."
Doing Fine
"Put up your hands?" com-
na.nded the larger of two bandits
who had stopped the motor coach,
"We're goin' to rob the gents and
kiss all the ladies."
"No," remonstraed the smaller
one, gallantly. "We'll rob the
gents all right, but we'll leave the
ladies alone."
"Young man," snapped a woman
passenger of uncertain age, "mind
your own business! Your friend's
managing this hold-up I"
All Clear
A sailor called unexpectedly on
his fiancee. IIe found her all dress-
ed up and ready to go to a dance.
"That's the spirit," he told her.
"No need to he gloomy."
Just then the telephone bell rang,
and the sailor answered it.
"What?" he said, "Oh, yes —
judging from the number of U-
boats we've sunk, 1 should certain-
ly thinlc so." And he hung up the
receiver.
"Who was That?" asked the
girl.
"Oh, said the sailor. "just a fel-
low who wanted to know: if the
coast is clear!"
Great Line
One Chicago ex -gunman is re-
pelled to he now working as a
bili:tn=ler Still in the stick-up line.
TABLE TALKS.,
Thanksgiving
Menu ...e
Thanksgiving day has been cele-
brated ever since the early settlers,
after suffering many privations and
hardships had their efforts reward-
ed by a bountiful harvest promising
food for all. - All over the world
this year people in many lands will
be offering prayers of thanks for
the food that has been. harvested.
For many it will be the first real
harvest for a number of yr.rs.'The
people of Canada should be more
thankful than any other for the
bountiful harvest they have been
gal en,
Poultry, either chicken or turkey
is usually the neat served at the
Thanksgiving dinner. If you have a
nice fat chicken for the 'occasion
there will be quite a bit of fat to
take out when it is being cleaned.
This chicken fat, after it is ren-
dered, as well as the fat saved dur-
ing the cooking is excellent for
baking. Excess fat should be pour
ed off while the chicken is roast-
ing, leaving only enough in the '
pan for basting and for making
gravy. With the scarcity of fats in
general, it is a wise homemaker
who saves all the chicken fat she
can; it has the texture and richness
of butterbut like other unsalted
fats, requires the addition of a lit-
tle salt to the amount asked for in
the recipe.
The home economists of the
Consumer Section of the Dominion
Department of Agriculture suggest
a simple menu with recipes for the
Thanksgiving dinner.
Tomato Juice
Roast Chicken or Turkey Dressing
Brown Potatoes
Tomato Eggplant Broil
Pickled Beets Crabapple Jelly
Grape Neapolitan Coffee
TOMATO EGGPLANT BROIL
1 medium egg plant (about 5 to
6 inches in length)
2 tablespoons fat, melted
3 to 4 large tomatoes
Salt, celery salt and pepper to
taste
Grated nippy cheese
Slice eggplant in j; inch slices
and peel. Brush slicesson both sides
with melted fat. Sprinkle lightly
with salt and pepper. Preheat broil-
er to 400 deg. F. Place slices on
rack and broil on one side until
lightly browned, about 5 minutes,
turn and broil on other side until
tender. Top each slice with a thick
slice of tomato, sprinkle with celery
salt and a teaspoon of grated
cheese, Return to broiler and broil
until cheese melts. Serve at once.
Six servngs.
GRAPE NEAPOLITAN
1 tablespoon gelatine
..1/4 cup cold water
4 cups blue grapes
2 cups boiling water
aA cups sugar
Few drops of green vegetable
coloring.
Soak gelatine in cold water.
Wash grapes and press pulp from
skins. Add 1 cup boiling water to
the pulp, cook 5 minutes. Rub
through a sieve to remove seeds
and to the pulp add j,, cup sugar
and soaked gelatine; stir until gela-
tine is dissolved and add green col-
oring. Cool until it begins to set.
Beat until light, turn into a wet
mould and chill until firm. To the
skins add 1 cup boiling water; cook
S minutes and add '/e cup sugar
Cool. To serve, unmould the jellied
pulp. Serve with the sauce made
from skins Six servings.
HOLD EVERYTHING
"Psssst!n
PLAYGROUND FOR MEN ONLY
A unique playground for men only—sometimes for good little boys and girls—is in operation at the
Lachine recreation grounds, near Montreal. Here a man is shown taking hie children out for a jaunt.
ft. VOICE OF THE PRESS J
Canada Could Use Them
One of the Australian govern-
ments has bought 150 Bren gun
carriers for conversion into tractors
for farm work. A good idea which
might well be adapted to meeting
the needs of Canadian agr!cultur-
lets.
Hard To Get
Confronted with the alternative
of keeping the services of his butler
or losing his wife, a Los Angeles
man kept the butler, his wife testi-
lied in a divorce court. Well, good
butlers are hard to get.
—Windsor Star.
Live And Learn
The trouble with most elections
is that it takes a year or two be-
fore the majority of the people dis-
cover they voted the wrong way.
— London Free Press.
Maniacs At .Large
When we hear of women—and
some men—kicking one another on
the shins, breaking each other's
glasses, stealing packages of mer-
chandise out of baskets, and acting
generally like demented people in
chain grocery stores, we begin to
realize the need for increasing the
size and number of our mental in-
stitutions.
—St. Thomas Times -Journal.
U.S. Imperialism_ Now
For a change it is now "Ameri-
can Imperialism" and not British
that is under attack In Europe.
Communist parties there agree
with Moscow that the United
States is "seeking the domination
of the world." Britain was never
accused of more than picking up
some territory here and there.
—Ottawa Citizen.
The Power We,Need"'•
`
Steam power transformed . the
nineteenth century. It will take
team -power to transform the twen-
tieth.
—Edmonton Journal.
No Joke
Just as we had almost split our
sides looking at our old family
album, we saw ourselves in a
mirror.
—Brandon Sun.
Freedom From Top
We trust all those voluble critics
of British policy in India are not-
ing the fact that self-government
in that country is being imposed by
British authority. Freedom is com-
ing from the top down, not froryn
the bottom up—a curious reversal
of the revolutionary practice.
—Ottawa Journal.
D'J'EVER?
MYTICKETGAYSW/
ALOWER BERTH
ANO THIS IS /T!g
WHg1'SaHEIDEA //?4y
rfi
VAS SUH5BUr
WE NEEDED
THI5 LOWER.
BERTH FOR..
I DON'T CARE W No
NE EDD IT:. f
RESERVED IT FIRST /
e
Drl)'EVEl . START HULLABALOO WHEN
You STEP INrO A PULLMAN AND FIND •
THAT SOMEONE ELSE'S OLf0 ES ARE PARKED
IN YOUR LOWER BERTH --
WELL, 1 DIDN'T
THINK YOU'D MIND
CHANGING' BERTHS
WITH THIS
GENTLEMAN,
SIiL
I��.. ill` ��/.
WEU -,WHY.,
DIDI4T YOU
SAY•.,.
41/4
°4
vm�q
To MAKE -Ir EASieR FOIttQkA
WOUNDED VETERAN'e1NHp'ARRIVES
own -ie. SCENE A Mina LATER
AND YOU GET MAD As THE PORTER
'MEE TO EXPLAIN 'THAT YOU WERE
SWITCHED FROM A LOWER -Tal AN
UPPER BERTH.--
CERTAINLY
CEIZTAt N t.'I
It1s16T oN '
TAKING THE.
UPPER/
1 , .
s ••••' D'L J 12 FEEL EMBARRASSED
AS YO U HASTEN E 0 Trp
SQUAR.E. ,YouR.E. EL %
DAWES BLACKS N
ISttSa-'�: te•w
BREWERY'
Restraint In Buying
Panic buying of salt cleaned out
one store of a month's supply in a
day. There is quite as much need
of a patriotic self-restraint now in
Purchasing items in short supply as
during the war itself. Patience will
help storekeeper and customer to
make what is available go round:
--Glebe and "Mail
Send for details of FREE TRIAL
OFFER of British -made appliance for
relief from Rupture. Recommended by
I Medical Profession. Light and comfort-
nble—you will not know you have it on.
Holds the hernia firmly. In many cases
the ruptured tissues reunite and rupture
is conquered forever. Write today:
o aeosloy's, Dept •M, 60 Fret 51.W., Toronto.
MACHINER Y
NEW AND USED
Of Every Description
Phone EL. - IR71
H, W. PETRIE CO. LTD
147 Front St, W. — Toronto
r^WID UUv & SELL.
SAFES
['roteil your 4!0I/KS laud (ASH
from 11115E and I'111ICVICS. .tee
halve n else and type of Safe. or
Cabinet, for any puruose. I'Ialt
as, or write tor price. etc.. to
Dept. W
J.bcJ.TAVLOIR LIMITED
TORONTO SAFE WORKS
146 Front St. F. Toronto
EatnblIehril 18511
HARNESS & COLLARS
Farmers Attention — Consult
your nearest Harness Shop
about Staco -Harness Supplies.
We sell our goods only through
your !tical Staco Leather
Goods dealer. The goods are
right, and so are our prices.
We manufacture in our fac-
tories — Harness, Horse Col -
tars, Sweat Pads, Horse Hlan-
kets, and Leather Travelling
Goods. Insist on Staeo Brand
Trade Marked Goods, and ynu
qct satisfaction. Made only hv•
SAMUEL TREES CO., LTD.
42 Wellington St. E., Toronto
WRITE FOR CATALOGUE
STARTS WORK IN JUST 2 SECONDS
GENUINE ASPIRIN 15
MARKED THIS WAY.
CANADA'S
STANDARD'PIPE TOBACCO
REG'LAR FELLERS—Publicity's Glare • By GENE BYRNES
•...
-r4AYS A ,
SCREWY IDEA I
PUTTiN A NEONj
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TAKE. IT DOWN!
TAKE. IT DOWN!
I'LL STUDY UU I'LL TRY
T'GET GOOD MARKS: -
TAKE IT DOWN!
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wAKE UP,
PINHEAD!
TIME
TO GO SCHOOL!
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