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The Seaforth News, 1946-09-26, Page 7JUST IN FUN 11 With a Difference' Saunders, though a bachelor, professed to be very fond of chil- dren. Nevertheless, when the youngster next door stepped on his new pavement before it was dry, he became very indignant. His sister rebuked ' him. "I thought you loved children," she said. "I do in the abstract," he replied "but not in the concrete." Dictionary of Movie Pests Nudger: Gently but firmly digs his sharp elbows into your ribs each time the screen reveals a situ- ation he considers too subtle for your dull mind to grasp. Explainer: Explains the minutest detailsof the plot to his hard -of - hearing accomplice; sits directly behind you. Paper Crackles: Frequents the matinees. She specializes in crunch- ing cellophane candy bags at the climax when sa een voices are low and tense. Oh. Yes! Betty: "Did you hear about the man who sat tip all night trying to figure where the sun went when fi went down?" Olive: "No, what happened?" Betty: "It finally dawned on hint." Too Late Afier recovering slightly from the shock of the budget in London, one employer called his staff to- gether and explained that there must be further reductions in Wale's. "It means we shall all have to tighten our belts," he ended. Then after a moment's pause, he turned to a junior clerk, who did not ap- ycar to be listening, "Do you un- derstand what I'm saying, Smith?" "1'es, sir," replied Smith, "but it's no good telling me that. Aly belt broke at the budget before' last.' THE SPORTING THING If! v iII:dlLL\ 1i�a����9i1=' i;�r "Quick! Gitnrne my tele- scope!" Easy Two cavalry recruits were hav- ing aa chat. Talking about riding," said one, "1 once saw a chap in a circus who junked on the horse's back, slipped underneath, caught hold of its tail, and finished up on its neck." "So what," retorted the other. "I did all that, in my first riding lesson!" • Where's the Tip? Down in the small southern town where he lives, people are so fond of Uncle Mose that the elderly Negro has become a trifle spoiled. One day be presented a check for $19,42 at the local bank. IIe took the money from the teller, counted it, then recounted it. IIe didn't seem to be satisfied. "What's the matter, Uncle Mose?" asked the teller. "Isn't it right?" Yes," was the grudging reply, "but it just barely is." All But the Title a Little Annie and Flarold were playing together in the back yard. "1 know a wonderful game," said Harold. "Let's make believe we're Admirals and that we are commanding the Navy." "All right," agreed Annie, "Only I must be the highest admiral and give commands to you." Harold objected, and, as usual, Annie had a compromise, "Then," suggested the shrewd lilttle Miss, "let's play that I'm the _Admiral's wife, That will do just as well." Acquitted "Pne day," said the old country- man from the hills, who was on trial for murder, "when my rheu- matism was pestering me, and my daughter had just eloped with a good-for-nothin' scalawag, and my barn had burned down and I lost both my rubles, and my best old sow got the cholera and died and I just heard they had foreclosed the inortgage arid the sheriff was lookin' for me, f told my troubles to one of these here optimists, and he said 'Cheer up, old top, the wore is yet to cornet' So i shot him". iSTtJL6FOFIND eONVINGED ;til"l'mN t:'i!g iifrMUSI"kIAVEz FATHERS HAMMER. CAYGH-O4. a ° 'ERIN. LfSfT 1T. IN ATTIC THAT ItjCFAILED70 8',' ANbWItetrleTHfS; PUT BACK WHERE IT PUMPING EVERYTHING bj W GET HE BELONGS, OR ELSE 4U1' ON FLOOR Fr:RAVIN DRAWER-", BORROWS FATHERS', EWES lA -i,' FLASHLIGHT TO sEE! 1 GAOGEr IN A AtTiC,ANDGOES Up, ITHRoUd H Ar H AND t=1 WANNER AT OQKK t' IN GARAGE 1, > ILY UNABLE TO EXAMINING Cie.t0Qa GETTING Co jY1T5 ' FINDANYTRING IN ON WAY/' . 8IMPLETELY NIX UP NOUSE FOR DAYS' 5 Answer to P,revlous Puiztc U. S. Army Doctor , ■ a HORIZONTAL 1 Pictured Army sur- geon -general, 9 B 10 Device for carrying dishes 11 Atmosphere 13 Female sheep (PI.) 15 Military police (ab.) 16 Excellent 17 Vigilante group 18 Totalled 20 Half -em 21 Behold! 22 Inquires 25 Beyond 27 Daybreak (comb. form) 28 Paid notice 29 Compensates 31 Shortly 34 Aluminum (symbol) 35 He is in charge of medical care for American 39 Iron (symbol) 40 Parts of bodies 43 Measure of area 44 Make a speech 47 American ostrich 48 Tantalum (symbol) 49 Cognomen 502000 pounds 51 Network of nerves 53 Five and five 54 He supervises care for — VERTICAL 1 Current events 2 ryIineral rocks , 3 Mount (ab.) 4 Provide with weapons 5 Shot•t sleep 6 Kentucky (ab.) 7 Incursion. 8 Gentle 9 Mexican peasants vituais DOMUUM Ml 11f 111100C7f�l�ll ©iiil�►IL•� vnom IK1Life : YI I A I 1 OIC©1010 vlcf•ADK 11:102101:11 GM OO JONAS OC Of3 UM NO INGRAtA NE). M110 C-7©Gl0® mf invo `t. ummom©©OLmaAmo®® Alii Pc5m3r. 1I=immoo IIi 0nc Y tl t ©!IQ 12 Lively dances 14 Harden 16 Distant 17 Vegetable 19 Period 23.Lock opener 24 Distress signal 25 Dance step 26 Excitement 29 Kitchen utensil 30 Keenly watchful 32 Frequently 32 Born 35 Man's name 36 Matched 37 Angry, 38 Male offspring 41 Army food (slang) 42 Gambling game. 45 Scale of pay 46 So be it! 51 Registered nurse (ab.) 52 Editor (ab.) 1 .III5 6 ■7 8 r$ , II /11 vi 211111111's ■aa { . N v° Eta 1J ` 18 ■ y. <f �25 is A 35 koa �••.,s cs 3b 31 l mo 41 42• �.. 113 44 lin HS i,Y 49 �. RIIa"i::jyl 52 :�"`a53 VI VOICE OF E PRESS 'T!� Birds Are Easier It's . illegal in Alabama to sprinkle salt on railroad tracks. Rather a queer way to catch a train, anyway, Saskatoon Star -Phoenix. Vast Resources Report of the existence of a bil lion -dollar coal deposit 40 miles north of Hudson Hope is just one more evidence of the vast potential resources awaiting development in B. C.'s Peace River area, Vancouver News -Herald. Unlucky Americans The Americans are having a ter rible time. Things you can't get in the States cost twice as much as things you can't get in Canada. —Calgary Herald. Egg of a Queer Bird An ornithologist has found a strangely shaped and weirdly col- ored egg which he cannot identify. -Press report. It is probably one of the many recently laid by the Dove of Peace. —Kitchener Record, For Picnic Rent A flicker examined by a scientist had five thousand ants in its stom- ach, There's an opportunity for some bright person to make a -for- tune by domesticating fl`ckers and renting them out to picnic parties. — Kingston Whig -Standard, The Quickest Way A high-speed camera shows that it takes only .ins -fortieth of a sec- ond to wink the eye. Lt's the quick- est known way to get into trouble, — Kitchener Record. Aid to Contentment An Australian fanner has 'in- .stalled a radio in his milking shed, because it keeps the cows quiet, and "they seem to like .the news.' After what they hear, it is likely that the beasts appreciate the ad- vantage of being cows.' —Toronto Saturday Night. Castles in Europe The housing shortage is solved at last. For only $400,000, travelers say, you can have your pick of the old castles in Europe. —Edmonton Journal Unheard Of Russia wants to "share" the Dar- danelles with Turkey. Ever hear of a sawoff like that over a piece of cheese between a cat and a mouse? Windsor Star. So Fast — Yet so Slow A jet 'plane flew from New York to Boston, about 200 miles, in 21 minutes and 51 seconds. Who is in such a hurry that he wants to fly 200 miles in 11 minutes? Sometimes we wonder whether the ingenuity and energy of modern man isn't too much concerned with speed, ton little concerned with needs that are a thousand times more pressing -- and more tragic. -- Ottawa journal More To Come Three Swiss journalists who im- agined Canada is a small country dotted with farms and bordered by fishing shacks changed their minds after visiting Ontario and Quebec, And they still hadn't Peen our mountains. — Windsor Star Handy Pot Holder For husbands camping indoors during the family's absence, any of the smaller pieces of millinery of the Juliet type, makes a dandy pot holder, —Winnipeg Tribune. First Time for Both There was an odd wedding in Hollywood. The papers said ''nei- ther of the parties had been mar- ried before." —Brandon Sun. WJIA.T FRAGRANCE when breakfast includes Maxwell House ! This glorious cof- fee is extra delicious be- cause it's Radiant -Roasted to develop the full goodness of the superb Maxwell House blend. drops Let Murine bring ease when eyesore weary or when they smart and burn from over -work, dust, wind, sunglare, bright lights orloss of sleep. Two drops of Murine in each eye,quicklysoothes,cieanses,and refreshes. Thousands use Murine regularly—say there is nothing quite like it. Base your eyes with Murine. Always keep it handy. A e 5 ; AS $�A ::I G>.:eo9.• EIB ,... Y.: MAI k:c..'•.:h MACDO Fine Makes a better cigarette MB MIN MB M, THE SPORTING THING "Initials seemed so inade- quate !" MUTT AND JEFF— NO RUNS, NO HITS, NO ERRORS, NO GAME GO Oikl,a0E1 Rion k'um' ATMA BoY, J'oEI WHAT Do VA MEAN, OUT? migoW THAT (/ UMPIRE OUT! 3EFF, WHERE WERE YOU - ToD .? } By BUD FISHER OR FOUND I CHEERED AND WHOWAS A PASS TOTHE 1 HOLLERED MI Pi.AV11 BALL GAME 60 1 THREW POP I WENT UPTO BOTTLES *IRE. THE STADIUM UMPIRE AND AND RADS A EVE' THING! TIME! PGAYIN'? MM -M MoBODY! '�IG 'MERE WASN'T `ANY GAME!f A POP—No Good for Notes WELL HOW DO YOU LIKE MY NE.W C GNIRT NOW TI -IAT YOU'VE WORN iT ALL DAY 2 I T 'S A L L IRI6H s' - taeteaare by'rhe De11 6ynbicnte, Inc,) By J. MILLAR WATT - BiaT Tl -IE CUFFS DON'T TAKE INK VERY WELL I • REG'LAR FELLERS—Total Loss S5EIN' AS , I OWN A 5"1AR:E IN TN' CLU8 D0124, 1D Lige 7' TAKE HIM FOR, Pi WALK 1' T' PUT A DELICATE FINANCIAL 'TERM TO IT, I REGRET T'.AY 1OUR, SRA Re HAS SEEN LIQUIDATED! LESSEE NOW 'COR;DIN' t.' THIS STOCIG• RECORD, YOUR. SHARE` WA5114 RIGHT=IAND CORNER 1 OF SAID DOR(a' 'LEFT OR; WASS' IT? By GENE BYRNES ti END OEIP'S TN' PART HE LAST IN A 'FIGHT WITH MILLIGAN'S (� MASTIFF! I I. is 1 L� •