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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1946-06-06, Page 3A Forget -Me -Not .eighbor (sympathetically) "And I know how long these years must seem to you. Deserted Wife—"Yes, but I re- member when he left just as if it had been yesterday—bow he stood et the door holding it open until six flies got into the house.' Would Like, To Know The teacher was explaining to the class themeaningof the word "re- cuperate." "Now, Tommy," she said to a small boy, "when your father has worked hard all day. he is, tired and worn out, isn't he?" "Yes, ma'am." "Then, when night comes and his work is over far the day, what does he do?" "That's what mother wants to know," Tommy explained quicldy. He Does "Hullo, you back again?" said the warder as he locked the burglar in a cell. 'Yes," replied the burglar bitter- ly, "and all because t need glasses." "?-low's that," asked the warder. "1 was twiddlin' the kno bsof a safe, and a dance band started playin ", Hired .A doctor, in want of a strong lad, advertised to that' effect, and, be- ing a ventriloquist, , adopted the following grins ruse to test the nerves of the applicants, The first, a great hulking lad, he sent with a basin of hot gruel to feed a skeleton he had in a dark cupboard. During -the process of feeding, the skeleton observed in deep, sepulchral tones: "It's deuced ho'." The boy's hair stood on end. He dropped the basin and fled in terror. The second applicant, a small shock -haired lad, had to go through the same ordeal, but when the skeleton made his remark, he re- plied unconcernedly, "I could have told you that. Blow on it you fool." I -Ie got the job. All Depends She: "Here's a story of a tom out west alto bartered his 'rife for a horse. You wouldn't swop me for a horse, would you, darling? He: "Of curse not (pause), but I'd hate to h:.ve anyone tempt me nith a good motor car," Not Long He was screwing up his courage to propose to the woman of his choice, but was at a loss for the appropriate words. At last he m,m• aged to stammer: "\V -would you help me to spend my salary?" "Why, of course," she replied brightly. I-1 mean for ever," he con. tiuued. "Olt, it won't last as long as that," she assured him with a smile. Vanishing After office hours, Alf and Bert lingered in idle chat. Then, with a sudden glance at nis watch, Alt grabbed his hat. "I must rush otfl" he exclaimed. "I've got an appointnunt." "Who's the girl?" ataffeo Bert, 'Is it as im,surtant as all chat? "It is—and it's no girl. It's a fellow to whom I owe a fiver." "Where are you meeting him?" "Meeting him nothing 1 He's cooling :nae!" Send It Up It sometimes takes as long as 20 minutes to bring down an airplane flying "blind." If six or seven planes are circling above an over- cast airport, the lase to arrive may have a tons, wait before being able to land. One remark overheard at La Guardia field in New York City in such a situation has already be- come a classic. After "holding" over the field for almost an hour, an army pilot called plaintively through his mike: 'Either get me Cown in 15 min- utes or send a gas truck up here!" Wives Are Like That The former Marine we. relating some of his adventures on a Pacific Island to friends who had come for tht evening. "At times," he said, "we had to hack our way through what seem- ed impenetrable jungle masses. Only the strongest got through." His wife, who had been listening front the kite en, remarked: "Why didn't you tell me all this before, dear? Now I won't have to think about weeding the garden this year." How Nice Brunette: I'm Mr. Butler's wife. Blonde: I'm his secretary. Brunette: Oh, were you? , Different—Kindness A son at a university was sup- plying pressure for more stoney from home. "I cannot understand why you call yourself a kind father," he wrote his parent, 'when you haven't sent me a cheque for over a month. What kind of kindness do you call that?" The father wrote by return: "That is unremitting kindness." This Curious World By William Ferguson a, as GACHOCAN, A 22 -YEAR-OLD ORCHARD THAT HAD NEVER GROWN MORE THAN 4600 BUSHELS OF FRUIr/N ONE YEAR, PRODUCED 4,000 8 41WELS THE VERY FIRST YEAR AFTER 200 COLONIES OF ®EES WERE. PLACED NEARBY DURING THE BLOOMING SEASON.. 4)144 WARBOND WINDOW '.151. La l55M'5. our EACH YEAR. MORE THAN 100,000 AMERICAN CNII:IANS ARE KILLED BY ACCIDENT, AND ABOUT 000,000 INJURED. WHEN YOU BACK OUR GOVERNMENT; OUR GOVERNMENT BACKS YOU,';%‘fr JOE F. PERRY, Go4,7d/a/e'46, Iowa Finnish President HORIZONTAL VERTICAL 1 Pictured . 1 Greater Finnish presi- quantity dent, Baron 2 Era Carl Gustaf 9 Type of molding 10 Jar 11 Peel 13 God of love L6 Roster 3 Compass point 4 Require 5 Multitude 6 Cloth measure 7 Ailing 8 Letters 11 Brazilian state 19 Dined 12 On top of 20 Public notices 14 Horsemen 22 Meadow 15 Seas 23 Universal 17 Dispatch 18 Domesticated 20 Exclamation 21 Symbol for samarium language 24 Be quiet! 25 Front 26 Re.ugh lava 28 New Mexico (ab.) 29 Church part 31 Transaction 33 Interpret 35 Substitutes 36 Be unsuccessful 38 Existence 39 Former Rus- sian ruler 42 Either 43 Therefore 45 Myself 46 Palm lily 47 Steal 49 Wand 50 Pitcher 52 Cupola 5,3 Lamprey 55 Narrow inlet 56 Health resort 57 Addend Answer to Previous Puzzle It7 Gl[irl©�OI7la�®I� PiCii 1fl/21.01C7f31L111iak` OiID© 00,111 WEI Ll]P1MI ifi JAMES I:a70GllfilIN ©B84§ GORDON /NOR gENNETT Y ©ni EIENNETT oo©oo EIRITOIDEIZAgRECISIERDIPI 24 Vends 27 Mountain crest 4I Be earlied 4411e is presi- dent — 30 Monkey Finland 31 English river 45 Belongs to me 32 New Guinea 48 Honey makers port 49 Highway 34 Essence (ab.) 51 Corded fabric 36 Golf term 52. Accomplished 37 In a row 54 Music note 40 Small particle 55 Sun god Coal to be Dug Report of the existence of a billion -dollar coal deposit 40 miles north of Hudson I-Iope is just one more evidence of the vast potential resources awaiting development in B.C.'s Peace River area. - -Vancouver News -Herald. Britain is Exporting Shout it aloud! Tell the buyers from overseas that Britain is back takir;g 'orders, and delivering' them on time. —London Daily Express. Perish' The Thought Many are beginning to fear that the world of tomorrow will be very much like the world of today, only more so. —Kitchener Record, War and Peace It's easy turning out ships and planes like doughnuts in time of war. The truly herculean feat is to build a couple of million houses amid the distractions of peace. —Detroit News. Uncrowned Kings Officially, Mr, Truman may be President of the United States. But, if the American people want steel, they have to see Phil Mur- ray. If they want automobiles, they must kowtow to Walter Reuther. If they want music, they are obliged to knuckle under to J. Caesar Petrillo. If they want coal to heat their homes and keep their industries running, it's a case of kiss John L. Lewis' big toe, or else, —R. M. H. in Windsor Star. Progress in Fire In this enlightened age, most people have little use for common or garden fire.Electricity is more scientific and soon we shall do our cooking with disgruntled atoms. Sulphur is gone both from . our matches and our spring tonics. Time marches on. —Vancouver Sun. FORA HAPPY HOME serve Maxwell House Coffee. Its blend contains choice Latin. American coffees. Those who are most particular, about coffee vote it "Good to the Last Drop" ll D'J'EV'ER THEY TALK Aso UT CLEAN-UP AND PAINT -LI P WEEK, MIT WHAT IS THE CITY DOING ABOUT THIS MESS? ITS ABOUT T)ME THEY WERE TOLD A THING OR TWO/ ITs A DISGRACE THE WAY JUNK IS ALLOWED To PILEUP IN THAT VACANT 1.07:., SP0/L5 THE LOOK 6F THE WHOLE NEICHBORHOOD/ I . 1'e Do EVER GROWL YOUR HEAD OFF ABour -am OLD RUBBISH AND JUNK THAT IS LYING AROUND THE VACANT LOT NEXT TO YOUR HOUSE You KNOW, DEAR, IF YoU ASKED OUR NEIGHBORS, MR. LYLeAND MR.MORRISON, I'M SUPS THEY'D HELP YOU CLEAN UP THIS MESS ..-1%„, IN NO TWIG 111 • BUT YOUR WIFe SUBTLY SuGCSEs - THAT IT MIGHT BE A QOOO IDEA To ASK `1W0THREE OF THE NEIGHBORS To PITCH 1N AND HELP You CLEAN IT UP • • to,• 4,, zef it I ~� 0 / AND You START TO STORM rNro THE. HOUSE TO PHONE THE CITY AUTNORrI15s To TELL THEM WHAT You TH,N OF THEM /ITCERTAINLY\ MAKES A BIC, DIFFERENCE, 1/4.;St? NICE WORK, FELLOWS/ I THINK ILL DOA LITTLE CLEANING UP AROUND MY PLACE Too , Ge;,.,wiisi+� nn►/ j/r►jdl ...D"JIEVER GETA CREATE( KICK OUT OF DOING A JOB IN YOUR LIFE KWOWING THAT YOU'VE CONE. YOUR !3rT TO HELP fipELOeAL PAINT°UP AND CLEAN -UP CAMPAIGN; PUBLISHED IN THE NATIONAL INTEREST BY 6.5W DAWES MACK NORSE BREWERY STUFF AND THINGS "Jones insists we add another monkey!" STUFF AND THINGS �t4 ttGl. HAD G ,t44 yr "Testing - one - two - three- four!" POP—Art F HOW AM It V'I�z GOING TO SELL 11-1IS NOW By J. MILLAR WATT ICNO.I< OPP 'T44E OTI-IGR ARM AND CALL IT VENUS 04,u.. ,a. la 97.1la., Lal MUTT AND JEFF—Yes Indeed, the Mutt's Had a Big Blowout on Their Anniversary, Yes Indeed By Bud Fisher HELLO, SIRSID! l WHERE IS MUTT? fir\ . ... 3 it JUST A LEAK' M TTS / �' YY I`; r 1 MUTT, WE'VE 'I BEEN MARRIED i•iWENTYYEARS 1 AND You HAVEN'T `TAKEN ME ` OUTONCEi p -,f'//' 5 E. 7 8 I'M VERY UNHAPPY JUST BECAUSE Yo0 NEVER TAKE ME + OUT. _ 4T lit tr '� UY -fid ----'-r-14. - NmA M•M EAS Sh1ELls WORSE! WAIT'LL I STRIKE AMATCH� tl cvl• yah, '..Ti -?; `IS ? ..V��^�`"" - ,SGN_./ 10 'NAT MAKE MRS,MUTT VERY HAPPY! IT'S THE FIRST TIME 1 ! THEY WENT OUT TOGETHER IN I TWENTY �� ✓} �( YEARS! '^ ` Aim ie el. _--� �i4' i 7 �� 7:;,' J " lI",'i �,G�' °�,• : 5;31;13 Vii; c zo W ,::'I6 0 at ;;1' c.T `tw- 30 ;r�..; 31 3zyt 33 8'! S fr. 4,1. I - 45 i MSS ezeA 49 t s /o SA .., 53 54 ' x55 5G 5T,. Coal to be Dug Report of the existence of a billion -dollar coal deposit 40 miles north of Hudson I-Iope is just one more evidence of the vast potential resources awaiting development in B.C.'s Peace River area. - -Vancouver News -Herald. Britain is Exporting Shout it aloud! Tell the buyers from overseas that Britain is back takir;g 'orders, and delivering' them on time. —London Daily Express. Perish' The Thought Many are beginning to fear that the world of tomorrow will be very much like the world of today, only more so. —Kitchener Record, War and Peace It's easy turning out ships and planes like doughnuts in time of war. The truly herculean feat is to build a couple of million houses amid the distractions of peace. —Detroit News. Uncrowned Kings Officially, Mr, Truman may be President of the United States. But, if the American people want steel, they have to see Phil Mur- ray. If they want automobiles, they must kowtow to Walter Reuther. If they want music, they are obliged to knuckle under to J. Caesar Petrillo. If they want coal to heat their homes and keep their industries running, it's a case of kiss John L. Lewis' big toe, or else, —R. M. H. in Windsor Star. Progress in Fire In this enlightened age, most people have little use for common or garden fire.Electricity is more scientific and soon we shall do our cooking with disgruntled atoms. Sulphur is gone both from . our matches and our spring tonics. Time marches on. —Vancouver Sun. FORA HAPPY HOME serve Maxwell House Coffee. Its blend contains choice Latin. American coffees. Those who are most particular, about coffee vote it "Good to the Last Drop" ll D'J'EV'ER THEY TALK Aso UT CLEAN-UP AND PAINT -LI P WEEK, MIT WHAT IS THE CITY DOING ABOUT THIS MESS? ITS ABOUT T)ME THEY WERE TOLD A THING OR TWO/ ITs A DISGRACE THE WAY JUNK IS ALLOWED To PILEUP IN THAT VACANT 1.07:., SP0/L5 THE LOOK 6F THE WHOLE NEICHBORHOOD/ I . 1'e Do EVER GROWL YOUR HEAD OFF ABour -am OLD RUBBISH AND JUNK THAT IS LYING AROUND THE VACANT LOT NEXT TO YOUR HOUSE You KNOW, DEAR, IF YoU ASKED OUR NEIGHBORS, MR. LYLeAND MR.MORRISON, I'M SUPS THEY'D HELP YOU CLEAN UP THIS MESS ..-1%„, IN NO TWIG 111 • BUT YOUR WIFe SUBTLY SuGCSEs - THAT IT MIGHT BE A QOOO IDEA To ASK `1W0THREE OF THE NEIGHBORS To PITCH 1N AND HELP You CLEAN IT UP • • to,• 4,, zef it I ~� 0 / AND You START TO STORM rNro THE. HOUSE TO PHONE THE CITY AUTNORrI15s To TELL THEM WHAT You TH,N OF THEM /ITCERTAINLY\ MAKES A BIC, DIFFERENCE, 1/4.;St? NICE WORK, FELLOWS/ I THINK ILL DOA LITTLE CLEANING UP AROUND MY PLACE Too , Ge;,.,wiisi+� nn►/ j/r►jdl ...D"JIEVER GETA CREATE( KICK OUT OF DOING A JOB IN YOUR LIFE KWOWING THAT YOU'VE CONE. YOUR !3rT TO HELP fipELOeAL PAINT°UP AND CLEAN -UP CAMPAIGN; PUBLISHED IN THE NATIONAL INTEREST BY 6.5W DAWES MACK NORSE BREWERY STUFF AND THINGS "Jones insists we add another monkey!" STUFF AND THINGS �t4 ttGl. HAD G ,t44 yr "Testing - one - two - three- four!" POP—Art F HOW AM It V'I�z GOING TO SELL 11-1IS NOW By J. MILLAR WATT ICNO.I< OPP 'T44E OTI-IGR ARM AND CALL IT VENUS 04,u.. ,a. la 97.1la., Lal MUTT AND JEFF—Yes Indeed, the Mutt's Had a Big Blowout on Their Anniversary, Yes Indeed By Bud Fisher HELLO, SIRSID! l WHERE IS MUTT? fir\ . FIXING IN GAS STOVE �Irt HE'S MRS. �r ►' ` JUST A LEAK' M TTS / �' YY I`; r 1 MUTT, WE'VE 'I BEEN MARRIED i•iWENTYYEARS 1 AND You HAVEN'T `TAKEN ME ` OUTONCEi p -,f'//' $U7 I'M BUSY YoU TO FIND LEAK GAS M'LOVE; AVERY MAN! WANTME THE INTIM STOVE! �..,(,/ �✓>t ,__ I'M VERY UNHAPPY JUST BECAUSE Yo0 NEVER TAKE ME + OUT. _ 4T lit tr '� UY -fid ----'-r-14. - NmA M•M EAS Sh1ELls WORSE! WAIT'LL I STRIKE AMATCH� tl cvl• ' " "' nw ° '�, 0 I ) �" Q . yyy C � '"El fit' G ►. c :a�' ti �� \t� �ll `��L� I .� 1 �.7j ,�c�yY• sWt- ? ..V��^�`"" - ,SGN_./ -SHOULD : 'NAT MAKE MRS,MUTT VERY HAPPY! IT'S THE FIRST TIME 1 ! THEY WENT OUT TOGETHER IN I TWENTY �� ✓} �( YEARS! '^ ` Aim ie el. _--� �i4' i 7 �� 7:;,' J " lI",'i �,G�' °�,• : REG'LAR FELLERS—Friendship's Finish • 4ND Wr4iffkit4.14 you t;%1/41144 tr4144,t3V,S‘ :1.16R,E'3 A REAL FRIEND laOR, YA; - 714 "PAL OF via' PEOPLE!" PATCHIN' OF PEOPLES TROUBLES-- ADVISIN' NEWLYWED'--- LETTIN' LOST RELATIVES STAY LOST! 4ADIO gTATIOP raw I'VE LISTENED TO ALL YOUR BROADCASTS, MISTER, PAL — HOW'S ABOUT 0)514114' ME OUT A DIME. A DAY T' KEEP ME HAPPY ? By GENE BYRNES YA BIG FAKE! BOY! WILL 1 SHOW you �r t RADIO SSTATIOh IPJ