HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1946-05-30, Page 3Voice of the Press
Commonwealth Force
Mr. Bracken's argumentis that
now, as ..ever before, Canada must
stand firmly at Britain's side. The
three great powers in the world
today are not Great Britain, the
United States and the Soviet Un-
ion, but the .British Common-
wealth, the United States and the
Soviet Union. And while the
Commo wealth stands as one, it
remains, as ever, a mighty force
for peace and order in an explo-
eive world.
—Montreal Star.
Nutty as Fruit Cake
"High prices have a habit of
snaking young men prune their
plates."—Kitchener Record. "On
the contrary, many a chap finds
that he has dated a prune, and
doesn't give a fig for her."—Tor-
onto Star, "But any of them would
reach for a peach, as long as she
wasn't wearing a pink veil."—Pet-
erborough Examiner. This thing
is already pretty corny, but we'd
like to add that the peach under
the pink veil is a lemon that has
lately been getting the raspberry.
—Ottawa Citizen.
Poor Eating
The Financial Post, which likes
to indulge in statistics, has an ar-
ticle which shows that the aver-
age Canadian could carry through
for a year or more, without work-
ing, living on his bonds. This, of
course, is on the presumption that
the other fellow would not be try-
ing to do the same thing. If
everyone knocked off work for a
year the country would quickly be
in a mess and even the bonds
would not suffice. They make
poor eating,
—Port Arthur News -Chronicle.
Dry and Wet
It's a great life! A lot of drain-
age experts would make Canada
dry, and a lot of anti -prohibition-
ists would make it wet.
— The Farntet's Advocate.
Good Reason
Canadian race tracks recorded
$42,000,000 in wagers during the
past year and yet some people
wonder why shirts are scarce.
— Port Arthur News -Chronicle.
Use for Nazi Flag
That was quite a sensation in
Vienna. The people saw a Nazi
flag flying out of a third storey
wi.tdow. Prompt enquiry was
made; the Russians had been us-
ing it as a scrubbing rag and hung
it out t dry.
— St. Catharines Standard.
Now Mosquito?
The new spun -steel stocking
may solve an age-old problem—
unless, of course, Nature comes
up with an armor -piercing mosqui-
to.
—Stratford Beacon -Herald.
Nothing To Take Its Place
Circulatirn of United States
newspapers increased by 2,500,000
last year to an all-time total of
48,384,188, and figures for Canada
would show a similar movement.
Nothing so far invented is a sub-
stitute for the newspaper, and
nothing is likely to take its place.
—Ottawa Journal.
Face -Saving
Speaking of face-saving gest-
ures: It ha„ been announced that
the nation's women will spend $2,.
000,000,000 on cosmetics this year.
— Christian Science Monitor.
As It Ought To Be
Ontario's Minister of Agricul-
ture thinks farmers should take
their wives to conventions. The
Minister is wrong. The wives
shuuld attend the conventions
while the men look after things at
home. The men can always "get
So go" to auction sales.
Works Both Ways
Autos ruin some of the younger
generation, a teacher contends.
And some of the younger genera-
Sion do a swell job of ruining
autos.
—Guelph [Mercury.
Work It Both Ways
It is now said that we should
try to understand the Russians.
VJhy not also get the Russians to
understand us?
— Chatham News.
JUST IN FUN
Erre[.
The young man at the social
eathering .was boas.ing,of his Arc-
tic •,explorations. I•Ie' gaz. at the
beautifulgirl he was trying to im-
press.
"Just imagine," he said, drama-
tically, "an enormous icefloe."
"Yes, I'd like an ice," said the
girl, absently, "but my' name isn't
Flo:".
All True
Lhe slipper ui a tramp ateainer,
writing the log recc.rding an event-
ful day, rounded off his task with
the entry: "bfate intoxicated." To
the mate. who inclignantly pro-
tested on reading it. the skipper,
retorted: "Well, it's true, isn't it?"
The following day it was the
mates' duty to write the log. He
completed his account with "Skip-
per sober."
The captain stared at it for a
moment, and then exploded.
"Well, it's true, ain't it?" was
the mate's rejoinder
1 BRITISH DOMINION LEADER
1
HORIZONTAL Answer to Previous Puzzle
1,4 Pictured
premier of a
British domin-
ion.
9 Loiter.
UT RLAND
T 18 i AL 1 A
S!.TOMT I T
D?NE13M':AT'
A' I L s RN USE
TAIL T PER
BEET
12 Cab.
13 Fertile spot In
desert. 0
14 Affirm. S G
16 Improve. ATT I RE
18 Directed.
19 Cubic meter.
20 Great Britain
(abbr.),
21 Voice 41 Unit of light
modulation, intens ty.
22 Engrave. 43 Sharp point.
24 Member of 45 Exists.
Parliament 47 Merit.
(abbr.). 49 Aureole,
25 Her. 50 Parent.
26 Garden tools. 52 Of small
28 Baseball stick. value.
30 And (Latin). 54 Imitate.
31 Farm animal. 56 Teacher.
34 Verbal. 58 Auricles.
35 Genuine. 59 Musical
36 Jewel, drama.
38 Ocean (abbr.). 61 Acid.
40 Anger. 62 Head cover.
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63 Plants.
64 Color.
VERTICAL
1 Part of a
doorway.
2 Tool.
3 Next after
eighth.
4 Therefore.
5 Man.
6 Employ.
7 Current,
8 Steamship
(abbr.).
9 Machine,
10 Hail!
11 Microbe,
12 Child's game.
15 Corded fabric.
17 Performs. •
19 Scotsman.
23 Article.
25 Impression.
27 Schedule.
28 Marsh.
29 Area measure.
32 Belongs to Us.'
83 Tiny.
37 Infold.
88 Wood sorrel.
39 Ritual.
42 Ferment,
44 He is premier
of the Union
of -- Africa.,
45 Frozen water.'
46 Persian ! ruler.'
48 Back of neck,'
49 Heron (var,).
50 Greater
number.
51 Talent.
53 Age,
55 Through.
57 Greek letter,
59 From.
60 Like.
......11
12
2
3
1 YOUSIMPI
WANNA YOU'LL LOSE
BET TEN YOUR MUM
DOLLARS THAT HORSE
ON RUNS IN
CIRCLES!
4
5
6
?
8
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10
It
FLATFOOT!
A CHANCE TO WIN!
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AND THIRD,—
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Very Simple
During a question period follow-
ing a lecture a man arose and put
a foolish query to the speaker. The.
latter replied:
"The logic of your question
i stakes me` think of another. Can
you tell me' why fire engines are
always red? You c n't. \Nell,
fire engines have four wheels and
eight men. Four and eight are
twelve. Twelve inches, make a
foot. A foot is a ruler. Queen
Elizabeth was a ruler, The Queen
Elizabeth is the largest ship that
sails the seven seas. Seas have
fish. Fish have fins. The Finns
fight the Russians. The Russians
are Red. Fire engines are always
rushin'. Therefore, fire engines
are always red. I hope this ans-
wers your question also."
Just A Gyp
A merchant heard that the na-
tives of an island in the South
Seas had more gold than they
knew what to do with, so he de-
cided to help them out. He sailed
to their island with a boatload of
onions. The natives had never
tasted onions, and were delighted
with them; they exchanged a ship-
load of gold for onions.
The merchant's business rival
was enraged when h heard of this,
but decided that if the natives liked
onions they would surely like garlic
better. He therefore .00l• them a
shipload of garlic, and true enough
they were delighted.
When he asked for gold in re-
turn, they told him they wouldn't
think of giving him anything so
common, and insisted upon turn-
ing over to hint their most prized
possession—tile shipload of onions.
RELIEVES MISERIES OF
r
Cokt
s
1/ Penetrate4
/Stimulates
deep Into bronchial the chest and back
tubes with Its Booth. surfaces like 8 sued,
lug medicinal vapors, warmleg poultice
Warming, soothing relief—grand
relief—comes when you rub good
old VicksVapoRubon the throat,
chest and back at bedtime. Its
penetrating -stimulating action
keeps on working for hours. In-
vites restful sleep. And often by
morning most misery of the cold
is gone. No wonder most mothers
use VapoRub. CK
Try it tonight omght— s
S
home -peeved 'VAPQRUB
Should Be Proud
The colonel was invited to a
farm for. lunch.- He astonished
tl.c farmer by eating two small
roast fowls. Later I. noticed a
cock strutting about and remarked
"By gad, that's a p:oud bird."
"'So he should be," answered the
farmer, "he has two sans in the
Army."
YOU'RE TOPS in the
family's estimation when
you serve delicious Max-
well House Coffee. It's
bought and enjoyed by
more people than any
other brand of coffee in
the world.
You can't feel your best if your
kidneys aren't working normally
Giu Pills help give relief from
Backache, Rheumatic Pain and
other symptoms of sluggish kid-
neys. Your druggist sells Gin Pills
on a satisfaction -or -money -back
basis, Geta package co day—use
proves their merit:
Regular sixo, 40 Pills
Economy:size, 80 Pills
(0, the U, S.4. esh for Gilso Pills)
GET DOUBLE SAFETY
was
TIRE
N
HE REAL story of tire safety
is told en the rough brick and
grinding asphalt of the Indian-
apolis Speedway. In official tests at
daredevil speed STOCK Firestone
Tires were subjected to 500 torture -
packed miles to prove their invinc-
ible strength. Throughout this
gruelling test -135 M.P.H. on the
straightaways—not a blowout, not a
skid. Tough treatment—tough tires!
Firestone Tires have always led
the field with extra safety and
mileage at no extra cost. Get most
safe miles per dollar by having your
nearby Firestone Dealer store equip
YOUR car with the only synthetic
tires that are proved on the speed-
way for your safety on the high-
way. You'll be glad you did!
FIRESTONE TIRE a RUBBER COFSPANT
el Benda, Limited
HAMILTON • - CANADA
THE SPORTING TEIING
1 1 1 u� 1 ti I r
"Your slip is showing!"
MUTT AND JEFF– Speaking a:. a Rank Outsider—I Never Heard of a Four Horse Dead Heat By BUD FISHER
MUTT, THERE ARE
FOUR. NoRsES IN
THE NEXT RACEI
S WANNA BET
oN FLATFOOTI
FLATFOOT?
ARE YOU NUTS?
TNAT HORSE
HASN"T A
aiOHAMeE!
1 YOUSIMPI
WANNA YOU'LL LOSE
BET TEN YOUR MUM
DOLLARS THAT HORSE
ON RUNS IN
CIRCLES!
ID0N'TCARE!
WHAT ODDS CAN
I GET ON ,
PLATFOOTI
AHUNDRED
TO °NEI--
10UT LISSEN
To ME -
VASYOUR PAL VMS
t:30NNATiP YOU OFF!
FIRST, THATHORSE
CAN'T R+JN!
SECOND, HE HASN'T
"G0SN!its GONNA l'"-"
BE A HECK OF A
SLOW RACE THEN! ,;
I OWN THE
OTHER THREE
11;1 �/
FLATFOOT!
A CHANCE TO WIN!
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AND THIRD,—
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REG'LAR FELLERS—High Ho!
DUSINES5 15 50 GOOD
1 THINK 111.E L-dTCHA OPEN
UP A'BRANCH OFFICE.
OVE2 ON BOOP AVENO0!
SWELL
YOU GO FIND A LOCATION
AN' SET UP A STAND --
THEN I'LL FIX YOU UP
WI)! SOME✓ STOCK
OKEY
DOkE
ABOUT
59
MINUTES
32,ft
SECONDS
LATER,
OKAY J1M,T1-1'�� �?J
14RANC4 OFFICE FORGET-
IS OPEN-- 'EM
BUT I GOT SONNY
MY DOUBTS! WE CAVY
MISS!
By GENE BYRNES
1 KNOW IT$
A L!TTL€ HiGH
BUT iT S Tld' ONLY 5AFE
MARCH
AROUND HERE!
POP—Pop's a Man of Logic
Ai4ENIT YOU. THE CHAP
WHO LOST HIS STRIPE
HEITE
YESTERDAY
WELL,, WHY
COME HERE
LOOKI NG
FOi2 A
ST0 IPE
By J. MILLAR WATT
WELL, I
LOST iT
HERE,
DIDN'T
r aniecn,4 I Ti,n ncii ayndleate,.Iinci•