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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1923-11-15, Page 7Neighbors= -and the Monkey Wrench By Jemima Remington, ti When the Carringtons, who had dwelt beside us for five years, an- nouncecl .that they had bought a house, and wore about to move thereunto, Milady wept. I did not go so far as to shed tear's, but the news gave me an odd, disorganized sort of i'eellitg. I have never, for some reason, been especially drawn towards, neighbors, In the rough. It is not their overtures of friendliness that I object to, but the fact that -the overtures appear to bo uncontrollable, and I have always had '-a feeling of nervousness about placing myself at the mercy of any force or influence°' that cannot be regulated. When a familyhas once begun to neighbor" there appears to be no way shutting off tho power without rowing a monkey -wrench into the ;pinery. .e upon a time, at the tender ago teen, I visited a school chum in a small village. It was inary village, and the peo- peered, had renown each generations, and they "neigh. to the point of intemperance, nit to say indecency, - They visited the house where I was stopping at all hours of the morning afternoon, and evening, They penetrated the kitoben, the pantry,' the cellar, even the bed- rooms. My room had no lock on the door, and I acquired the habit of brac- ing it with a chair under the knob, as a preface to the act of disrobiug. I had an uneasy feeling that a delega- tion of neighbors, of mixed sexes and assorted ages, might walk In at any moment and watch the process with remarks, relevant and irrelevant. One morning me; chum insisted that I accompany him to a house across the way. In vain I pointed out that it was no hour, for social calls. He said It did not matter. Apparently it really didn't matter, in the. least. We arrived at seven -thirty to find our_ host lacing his boots on the kitchen damper. Our beaters 'greeted us from a crevice In the wall where she was performing her morning oblutions in a costume that was a masterpiece of neighborly unconcern and unatandoffishness. Her enunciation was somewhat marred by the fact that her teeth, upper and low- er, Were on exhibit in a glass of water. She slid them into place with a dex- terity born of long practice, formal- ized her costume somewhat by enfold- ing herself la an allover apron, and cane forth to make biscuits for break- fast. As she slapped them into a long pan, a woman .sauntered across the garden and leaned through the open window, "lily lan' sakes!" she exclaimed, "what erya goin' to do with all thein biscuits? Ain't there only two of ya?" "Yep, but we like 'em cold," replied the baker. "I came over to burry your parasol again," continued the other. "We're goin' up the river this afternoon." Then she picked up a post -card that lay on :the window sill, and talnly road it through. "1 didn't know your aunt had moved to Chester," elle commented, without. emotion. I returned from that visit with a feeling of uneasiness about neighbors that I have never been able to shake off --not at least, till I met the Car- r.ingtons. They were friendly without Impertinence, Interested without curt- osity, and helpful without officious- ness. They borrowed frankly, at times, when a sudden need arose, but It never became chronic, and they re- turned- promptly. eturned-promptly. Moat emotions in this world are prompted by selfishness, 1f you dig to the very root, a selfish dislike of be- ing'made uncomfortable. The Car- ringtons' going gave me a fear of what might occupy their vacant house. So i returned one night to find their win- dows staring at rue with the glassy, unseeing,,. expressionless stare of eyes from behind which the life has fled. Then some business complications arose that drove the matter from my mind. When Milady, two weeks, later, announced that the house was taken, I paid scant attention, and when I foetid a moving van drawn ftp, with the most intimate furnishings scatter-. ed about before- the 'public gaze, I merely heaved a memorial stet. to the Cnrringtons, and plunged into the marts of trade, ' On the following: Sabbath, as we idled luxuriously through a late break- fast, TMlilady remarked'suddeuly: "!'here aro two maiden ladles, twin sisters.' a bachelor brother, and an aunt wile chaperons them." My mind has become accustomed to these sudden chamois -like leaps from one to ical.' peak to another. p ?" ei"hy the chaperon. 1 enquired. Prone thebathroom window, while shaving, 1 remenlberecl glimpsing the twine as they hung the weekly wash. I do not want to be ungallant, but e. chaperonseemed a "wasteful and 1'idieulous excess." Besides, being most carefully chapel' cued myself, I regarded, the situation sympathetical- ly, I do not know where Milady got her information, but it proved cermet. That afternoon, while stretched in the long -chair with my pipe and a uew book. Theard her veno in the garden. IL held a gentle chili that seemed to envelope one like a Scotch wrist, aud' is used for putting strangers in their' place, "I'm sorry, but oars to out at order just now." "0'h-h,—well-that's too bad. It'll soon be too long to cut. The Judson's next door where we lived before, had a good one, never got out of order." My perfectly good lawn mower was apparently under discussion, and I scented trouble. "You haven't got a pair of wire nip- pers, have you?" the squeaky voice continued. .'.'W5 want to put up our chicken wire to -morrow. We keep hens—pure-bred Rhode Island Reds. My nephew paid fifteen dollars apiece for them." My heart missed two beats, and one word brandeditself on my brain--Per- cival—Percival, our beloved, our only dorglums, unpedigreed, unmarketable, unrighteous, but beloved, with a habit. of getting into trouble, and a benius for dragging me in after them. And only one thin, trifling, inadequate board fence between him and hens at fifteen- dollars epieeal Milady came upstairs with the slow step of age or sorrow.. She walked into the room and looked at me, then sat down wearily. . "You heard?" I nodded. "Let's move!" "No," I said firmly "I will not be driven from the home of my youth by a pair of twins and a chaper- on, nor hens at fifteen dollars apiece. I shall be quite courteous but firm about the mower,' As for ,Percival, it is time his education began." Milady regardedme with a I've - heard -it -before expression. Sometimes I wonder if that woman suspects me of cowardice. The next day I, went out of town on a week's business trip, Returning, I called the house from my office, Mi- lady's voice sounded absent, even with the joy of getting me home safely. "You had better come -home early," she said. "They've borrowed the mower, the nippers, that piece of chicken wire you were saving for the scarlet runners, and two window... screens, They also use the phone three times a day." "z will come hone early!" I said grimly At dinner. Milady explained the situ- ation. It was not without humor. Few situations are, however exasperating. The chaperon -aunt evidently ruled then with a rod of Iron. She appear- ed to have one fixed ,principle in life that governed 'aIl her ways, viz„ to spend money on no implement, uten- sil, or convenience that could be bor- rowed. Her nephew evidently disap- proved ol.her methods but. a Iong habit of acquiescence to feminine rule and a desire for peace at any price,' held him enthralled, He went in and but without a glance in our direction.' Once he had been heard expostulating with his aunt. "You'll do nothing of the kind!" she squeaked, "The edea of spending money like that when the people right next door have ohne and only use it once a week. Why, they'd think it funny if we--" The voice trailed off. By that time Milady would have thought it funny if they had ceased to use our effects res their 'own. "Probably they are Bolshevists, and believe inthe community spirit. How are the hens?" I said, "They are still there. 011 yes, and site remarked yesterday that it would be so much easier to get the mower in and out if we had a gate In the back yard fence. Can you improve on that?" I mused a bit, and suddenly a low, unprincipled thought came into my mind, a base, unneighborly suggestion. As it was not immediately ejected, it settled clown and stayed. "Oh, well, we can always lode it if the worst comes to the worst. The man seems a decent sort," I replied, That night they borrowed our ham- mer and nails, and a screw -driver, and for an hour someone hammered vali- antly.,Next morning an unaccustomed rattle greeted my ears. I peered from my usual lookout in the bathroom. Two boards had been reproved front the fence and a small gate hung there. It was fastened only by a latch—a slender, fatuous latch .and Percival was standing on his hind legs moving 1t tentatively with his paw, as one tries fps combination of a safe. For the next two weeica our effects continued to flit back and forth ..over the boundary line, Tho mower return- ed in a damaged condition and had to be repaired. The chicken wire re- turned not at all, In rapid aucceeatoe. we supplied then with a' can of paint, a brand new brush, several books and. magazines, stove pollen, groceries, and our table scraps for the hens. These all disappeared forever, The mower, step ladder, garden hose,. spade, hanlmer,:screw-d'ive'r, and other articles travelled back and forth through the gate. The telephone re- mained stationary, but we regretted' that 1 was no portable, as our hall had ceased to be our own. At first they rang or knocked, then they formed the habit of stepping in unannounced, and our meals; and off. -hours were .inter- rupted by one•sided conversations In a squeals. Then one Settirilay night we went out for dinner, la the dim, grill sweet - nese of a late spring evening, we strolled homeward, at peace with the world, Before we could remove our hats, came an lmpe.alive summons to the back door: I fled upstairs' and Mi- lady responded. From the safety of my den I, heard sounds of wrath' -and protest, a tale of evil doings and un- rely happenings, and I felt that the wrench had been pitched into the works, and the pitcher was noose other than Percival,' Milady came up pre- sently, and curled into a big' chair, ;, She always breaks news as she does;, eggs—with a sadd eu, unprepared -for crack. "It's the rooster .and Percival: He wiggled that latch and got in, and 111e rooster got out. Thee met in the open yard, and Percival pulled out half his feathers," "Perhaps he will sleep later to -mor- row," I murmured, Lace the bird of poetic renown, be habitually "sung out an hour 'ere light" Milady continued relentlessly; "Then he fastened his teeth and paws in some thingsbanging on the lino—" "The rooster?" I enquired, with interest, She favored me with a glance calculated to discourage fri- volity, and went on. It appeared that after his bout with the rooster, Perci- val had discovered a setting of: eggs that were to be sold on thetuorrow, for ten dollars, and ate them all; Then he turned his attention to some—er--- personal effects belonging to the twine, that hung ori the line, and rend ed them into tatter's. When discover- ed he was rolling with abandoned glee over a bed of young lettuce. As they tried to capture John he raced wildly round and round the yard, and when finally driven out and the gate fasten- ed, he growled through the fence lit an annoyed way, as 1f they had dis- turbed him. It sounded so like the darling. "And," finished Milady, "they are now engaged in preparing a bill of damages, which will reach your of- fice in the morning. - I 'received it by the early mail, It ran as follows: SCUM OF EUROPE FLOODS.CANA- DIAN JAILS , General St, Pierre Hughes, superin- tendent of penitentaries, declared in a recent address that Canada is being flooded with the scum' of Europe and urged Immediate measures to insure Protection against enclangering the loyalty of this country to its British associations. 'Eater when roused,' and I merely got away with my life," he grinned. ''Tell :'ens the `bars descending grazed ytur plume,' " We .lrm,k hands, and then discover- ed we ltii 'vsial friends in common. I oltou meet liim at the club, and re- cently he presented Percival with a gorgeous new collar. But we dare not even glance ateach other at home, Another outbreak of neighborliness would extinguish us. A padlock was placed on their side of the gate, and the silence between us descended in chunks. We gradually readjusted our poseessions and 'ate our meals unac- companied by neighborly attentions. Until we can duplicate the earring - ton's, we are content to remain un - neighbored, To damages on one rooster .. $5.00 Ditto on thirteen eggs 10,00 Ditto on garments 3.00 CARAVAN HEALTH Ditto on one lettuce bed 1.00 CAMPAIGNS $19,00 Discount for cash, 10%,, To which I replied by a bill for sup- plies and rental of tools and imple- ments. It amounted to $23.00, The following morning I looked up from my desk to find the chaperon's nephew before mo He wore a friendly grin, "Look here," he said, "I'm afraid that a severance of diplomatic rela- tions is imminent. I know you'll miss us, but try to buck up. My revered aunt and sisters , are in a dlstlnctly war -like mood, and I'd hate to have to call you out, in the chill, grey dawn. I told them I'd come down and abolish you, Nothing short of your scalp will satisfy them, Would you mind-er-if I gave them ten dollars for you, but on. condition that they no more darkened your garden gate" I assured him that it would be more than all right, "I'll say you're a murderous char - The name of Emmeline Pankhurst has been always a synonym, for .the unusual, the courageous and the effec- tive. Whether as a notable social and political worker in her native city of Manchester; a militant leader demanding political justice for her sex in Britain, mobilizer of an indus- trial army of women, during the war; as organizer of the land army of "farmerettes"; or fighting striking labor unions and miners of Wales; or going as special emissary to Russia to report to the British Government on conditions in that country, or, since coming to Canada, becoming a citizen of the Dominion and a staff worker on the Canadian Social Hygiene Coun- eii for whom she has addressed hue - dregs of audiences from coast to coast, or as a health caravanner and crusader now afield with two other intrepid women gospellers, Mrs. Pank- For the - oys and Girls SPIDER WEBS, For a longtime there was but one' use for spiders' web—besides the pur-; pose far which the spiders spin it. It! was used to mark the exact centre of` the object lens in the surveyor's tele-; scope. Spider web is the only suitable, material yet .discovered for these cross-hairs, Human hair is trans- parent and when magnified has the apparent dimensions of a rough -I hewn lamp -post. I In one large English factory where surveying instrumento are made, spiders are among the most indispen- sable workers, They produce during a two -months' spinning season thou- sands of yards of web, which is wound upon metal frames and stored away until needed. A spider "at work" dangles in the air by its invisible thread, the upper end of which is at- tached to a metal wire frame whirled In the hands of a girl. The first girl places the spideron her hand until the protruding end of the thread has become attached. When the spider attempts to leap to the ground she quickly attaches the thread to the centre of the whirling frame, and as the spider pays out its web she wraps it round the frame. At one time she removes from a spider several hun- dred:feet of thread. When the spiders at this factory are not spinning they are kept in a large wooden cage under the super- vision of several girls. They are fed regularly and treated well, butthey die in the winter making it necessary to get a new corps of assistants every spring. But the commercial world has now found a new use for spider web. It is many tines finer than the thinnest filament spun by the silkworm, and this was appreciated long, long ago. But the difficulty of obtaining silk from it, because of that very delicacy, was very great, seemingly insur- mountable. Some years back a Frenchman at, - tempted the making of spider silk, and was partially successful. He col- lected 10,000 spiders, kept them in separate cells, and produced silk goods, stockings, gloves, etc„ of won- derful daintiness and 'beauty. As I remember it, the spiders got together WHO PAYS POR OUR FOREST FIRES ? With the whole commercial wort: cl standing at Canada's counter aslcing r pulpwood. industries, new for he it d and timber annew p l d re ad to establish. Y towns and new pay -lists in what eta s yesterday a "wilderness," Dr. Clif- ton D. Howe,, President of the Cana Sian Forestry Associations, points out that the Canadian people are settin g 5,977 forest fires a year and burn- ing up over 14 million dollars worth o l public -owned forests: No public taxes will ,again be collected on the se burned areas for the better part of a. century and industries will ba ve to look elsewhere for Location. Eighty-five per cent, of ail the fo rest lauds, Dr. Bowe says, are owned by the people of Canada, and the pee ple pay by far the'greater part of the penalties of forest destruction. It is estimated that four dollars out of every five received for' a log are pal d out for labor and supplies, while the. remaining dollar i,s divided between t he Investor of capital and 'the .govern - It is estimated that since Coni burned up more than 600,000 square with re00,000 square utiles that have b aderatlon the Canadian people have miles 0f thither lands, as compared, eon laid low by the axe of thelogger. one night, and afterthe slaughter there remained so few that the manu- facturer quit in discouragement. Up until recently that has been one on the greatest obstacles—the canni- balistic nature of spiders- But it has now been discovered that a certain Brazilian species is not ferocious. These spiders live in peaceful com- munities of a few hundred, and are very industrious. The Brazilian spider is large too, measuring more than sit inches when fully extended, and spins an exquisite film of yellow silk as strong as many of the machine -made silks. Some of the webs of 'this big spiderare ten or twelve yards in diameter, Some of the silk, made in experimental trials, has r been pro- nounced at least as good as the silk- worm product; and there is every in- dication that the industry will soon develop. —L. E. Eubanks. AN EXAMPLE OF BIRD FRIEND- LINESS. A very interesting and rather un- usual incident, showing how neighbor- ly birds may be, happened last spring. A friend of mine has a cottage, and there is a certain vine growing close to a window, which is a favorite nest- ing -place with birds. This year two different families, a pair of wrens and a pair of catbirds, decided to nest here, and so they set about building their homes. Strange to say, there was no quarrelling over this, but each pair minded its own business, and when their homes were finished, 10 and beholds there, perched upon the edge of the goodsizednest of the cat- bird, was the dainty little nest of the wren. Never were two families more so- ciable. Together themothers sat on their eggs, and perhaps they chatted about different things to make the long hours of waiting less lonesome. Together the wrens and the catbirds fought the cat and bravely defended their hones, when the babies were hatched, and side by side they raised their families and taught them how to fly. Now there is nothing left but the two nests to show this unusual friendship between two bird families. -Elizabeth Frederick. burst has always maintained the same high level of selfless sacrifice for a cause and of doing the enema' thing. She carne to Canada three years ago, was first resident in 'Victoria, but is now established permanently, with her daughter, the almost equally famous Christabel, and their four war - orphaned little girls, in a modest home In Toronto, From this base she works unceasingly for the Social Hy- giene Council, art organization cre- ated through the vision and efforts o1, Dr. Gordon Bates, its present secre- tary, and now nation-wide in its scope. Recently, Mrs, Pankhurst, accom- panied by Mrs. R. A. Kennedy, presi- dent of the Ottawa Women's Club, and Miss Estelle Hewson, Ontario Secretary of the Canadian, Social Hy- giene Council, departed on a five weeks' motor tour of Northern On. tario. They travelled every day, talk- ed every afternoon or evening, cover- ed some three thousand miles of terri- tory, addressed twenty-five meetings, big and small, and came in personal touch with over five thousand people, Miss Hewson ran the car, arranged the meetings, managed the finance and organized new councils; Mrs. Kennedy, a notable humanitarian and social worker, was the "mixer" for the party, giving the glad hand to all. and sundry, 'tivhile 11Trs. Pankhurst preached the gospel of racial better- ment through social hygiene, which she describes on all occasions as "the great crusade of the twentieths century and perhaps the greatest reform move- ment of all time." Results of this truth -telling, health campaign in the north included the formation of several branch coancils, the organizing of many groups of workers, the lining up - of medical health officers, doctors, nurses, min- isters, clubwomen and business women in the cause of community health; the distribution of much educational liter- ature, besides, a general awakening of the citizenry to the dangerous menace, in all places, of venereal diseases, So successful were they in pnuch- ing bonze their message of health and interesting their audiences, 'which varied from fashionable summer col- i onies in eluskolca to lumber jacks in the sawmill towns, miner's along the' North Shore, farmers in Manitoulin 1 Island and the usual gatherings in the larger towns, that they were en - allied to pay the expenses of the tour through the generous offerings made all along the way. Another tour was irnntediately planned, this time into Eastern On- tario, where the three social hygiene gospellers are at present caravanning through the big district enclosed, roughly in the triangle made by To- ronto, Cornwall and Pembroke. They will cover not less than two thousand miles of territory, will visit some twenty towns, and distribute quan- tities of educational literature. Big meetings are scjteduled for Kingston, Brockville and Smith's Falls, where the Panklurat party will be rein- forced one the platform by 10'. Gordon Bates, the General Secretary of ,the,, MRS. EMMELINE PANKHURST hygiene'Council, and Dr. J. 3. Heag- arty, Chief of the Division for Venereal Disease Control in the Federal De- partment of Health, who will present the purely medical aspects of racial improvement throughsocial hygiene. In Ottawa Mrs. Pankhurst will be the special speaker- at one of the sessions of the Eastern Convention of the Women's Institutes; as well as at a luncheon of the Women's Club, and in Kingston she will appear before the Rotary Club. Already the gos- pellers report the formation of seven new councils. Bvaclted as they are by both the Federal and ,Provincial Boards of Health, - by the Women's institutes throughout the province and by many. other powerful bodies of wonleu, the social hygiene missioners expect this tour to be not less successful than the last, and rely on their invariable text: "Every child in Canada ought to be assured of its three -fold birth- right of physical, mental and moral health," to gain them a hearing and hearty support wherever they go, Resourceful Youth. Entering a store a woman asked the youth behind the counter if she could see his employer. The boy went behind a thin parte tion and shouted into a back part of the 'shop: 7 c ave. Ln wan jeysodnlils:tt.amnitt o d t. toy ssevoice replied prorirptly: "What's she like—old or young?" The customer waited in suppressed amusement to see how the youth would answerthis: embarrassing ques- tion, since he must know that she would hear both query and reply. But he was tactful: "You'll be satisfied when you toms up," he said promptly, Alpha Centauri, the nearest star to the earth, is 25,000,000,000,000 miles away. ROYALTY'S LETTER BAG. J It is stated that the tweeting nail of the King of Italy, .on a recent oc casion, eonsietcd of 7,000 letters and 300 parcels, followed later by over 270 telegrams. This huge delivery happened to occur on a day when the' monarch was expecting a missive of some importance, which was not found until almost the whole batch of corre- spondence had been sorted and 'ex- aminee by a staff of secretaries. Bulky post hags constitute one of Royalty's least.severe afflictions. A commoner has only to place his hand in a diminutive letter box in order to secure at once a looked -tor letter, which lie is able to peruse within a few seconds of its delivery; it quite impossible, in a royal palace, to ob- tain'correspondence with such ease. The number of letters received is so 'large that a considerable staff has 'to'be maintained in order to sort and arrange every incoming delivery,' Begging Letter -Writers. Communications of a confidential nature intended to be read only by the personage to whom they are ad- dressed are not, of course, opened by any other, but it would be impossible for any member of the Royal House- hold to read every letter received. Every royal mail is a romance in itself; each bag contalus hundreds of letters from those who seek to vent a grievance, real or fancied, at the tome tain head, Copioue appeals are re- ceived from begging letter -writers, who seem to think that possession of royal rank also indicates possession of unlimited wealth available for dis- tribution to all and sundry, who have but to express their wants Ih order to receive a share! We all know that the mentally afflicted are prone to fancy that a re- lationship' exists between themselves and Royalty; almost daily the regal mail contains .pathetic, plaintive effu- sions written by these unfortunates, and their communications would be humorous if the circumstances in which they were penned were less tragic. Veiled Threats. It is said that when King Edward was one day assisting in the disposal of his mail, Isis eye was attracted by a long ;envelope, plentifully daubed with smears of red palet. The con- tents consisted of twenty-six pages of script, written by one who rejoiced in the name af. Ezekiel). Cobman. The shooting season was just ap- proaching, and the occasion was' deemed suitable by Ezekiah to warn His Majesty that unless he abandoned his much -loved sport "something would be done in the ntatter." Those who write direct' to Royalty may feel assured that no letters re- quiring personal attention is ever dis- regarded, although it is obviously im- possible formany oft -made" requests to be granted. Applications are often made by those who desire that decisions of the courts mightbe reserved, or special Privileges granted to prisoners serv- ing sentence, and all manner., of ex- traordinary requests are received, the granting of which would usurp con- stitutional law and upset the whole Judicial system. Keep Well. 1. Ventilate every room your; oc- cupy. 2. Wear loose, parous clothing suited to season, weather, and oceu• pation. 3. If you are an indoor worker, be sure to get recreation outdoors, 4. Sleep in fresh air always; in the open ifyoucan. 5. Hold a handkerchief before your mouth :and nose when you cough or sneeze and insist that others do so, too. 6. Always wash 'your hands before eating. 7, Do not overeat. - This applies. especially to meat and eggs. 8, Eat some hard and some bulky,, foods; some fruit, 9. Eat slowly—chew thoroughly. 10. Drink sufficient water daily. 11. Evaeuate thoroughly, regularly. 12. Stand, sit, and walk erect. 13. Do not allow poisons and infeo- h onB to enter 1110 body, 14. Beep the teeth, gums, and tongue clean. 15. Work, play, rest, and sleep in moderation. 16. Keep serene. Worry is the foe of health. Cultivate the ,companion- ship 'at your fellow -men. 17. Avoid self -drugging, Beware the plausible humbug of the patent medi- cine faker. 19. Have -your doctor examine you carefully once a year. Also consult your dentist at regular intervals. 014 , F. l' : \\. Com/ r Frear Eliminated. "As a lecturer, don't you sweetens* fear to face en audience?" "Never --lay talks are all broadcast, you know." ' The pathway to power lien throags service.