HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1931-04-23, Page 7Owl Laffs
Perk Up
Your nose may be battered, your jaw-
bone
I,
nicked,
Your visaga may be a eight,
But alwa.i remember you're never
ricked
'No matte how badly they mess up
YOU': map,
It won't be beyond repair,
Whfl'e stir- you can stand and fight.
And there still is a chance that you'll
' • win the scrap
As long a' the punto is there.
You'll . make mistakes and you'll' do
Whigs wrong—
The best of them always do;
But as soon as you get to going strong"
Your grit wit see you through.
• They smashed Pana Jones to . a fare -
You -well,
But he didn" observe "goodnight,"
He mere., paused in his tracks to yell
That he'd jus.begun to fight.
There'll be plenty of folks to peddle
gloom
There 11 be plenty or -folks to say
That they see the terrible day of
(loom
Hurrying on its way,'
But the fallow who knows that the
fightis hard
And still. bar the nerve to grin,,
And nev' gets rattled and drops his
guard,
Is the fellow who's going to win,
Beautiful Modern Daughter—"Weil,
Mother, I proposed to Jim myself to-
night."
o-
night"
Her Mother—"You must bo mad,
Edith!"
Daughter—"You're darned right I
am. He turned me down." •
A flapper who learned that Kipling
had referred to woman as a "rag, a
bone and a hank of hair" indignantly
retorted: "Yes, and a man is ' merely
.a•jag, a drone and a tank of hot airs
Seems to be a eerie of about fifty-fifty,
Mrs. Hereiricks—"That woman next
door certainly hal a violent temper.
Haveyou seen her husband?"
Mr. Ffendrieks—"Yes, poor fellow.
He look like her battered half."
The statiun-master rushed out of his
room after hearing a crash on the
platform, He discerned a disheveled
young.ntan sprawled out perfectly flat
emoting confusion: of overturned
milk cans and the scattered contents,
of his travelling bag.
Station -Master (to small boy,stand-
ing by admiring the scene)—"Was he
tryin„ to catch the train?"
The Boy—"He did catch it, but it
got away again."
PETRIE BARGAINS
%2 Ton Differential Chain Hoists with 28' of Chain $ 8.50
1 Ton Differential Chain Hoists with 82' of Chain' . , $10.50
Cord Wood Saws, Angle Iron Frame Ball Bearing, $60.00
Complete with Saw .
10"--3 Square English Files, Bastard or Second Cut, ea. 25c
12"-3 Square English Files, Bastard or Second Cut, ea. 30e
4"-3 Jaw Universal Geared Scroll, Chucks,• with 2
Sets Jaws . 0'0:00
25 lb Anvil and Vise $ 4.00.
50 1b. Anvil .. $ 5.50.
75 Ib. Anvil . $ 8.25
Forges, 18" diameter, One Piece Steel Hearth, .Com-
plete with Fan .,. ' $11:50
Ball Bearing Post Drill, drills 0-%" holes to centre of
111/2 circle , . , . $ 9.50
./
51z " Jaw Stationary Machinist Bench- Vises .. $10.00
/4
1 JawStationaryMachinist Bench Vises $12.50
6 .
ELECTRIC MOTORS AND GASOLINE ENGINES,
BELTING, PULLEYS, HANGERS, SHAFTING,
NEW AND USED, AT• SPECIAL PRICES.
t
0
MITE
pia pp�
ffiil.a 11.a
PET
Ft��yp� @1yg�7po & iL-4
8 Mn tlf/
9
Phone ELgin 1271 147 FRONT ST. W. Toronto 2
The Success of Sanctuary
Canada is a great believer in the
eriterion of figures. She, even ebunte
the birds in her sanctuaries and as a
result the value of these establish-
ments has been plowed beyond any
shadow of doubt. There are now
more than forty such sanctuaries
scattered across the country from
Nova Seale to British Columbia and
Mentioning an old flame has caused
more than one flare-up,
Those long, shinny green things
poking their heads up out of the earth
are what the seed 'catalogues assured
us would be cabbages.
Teacher -"When water becomes ice,
what is the greatest change that takes
place?"
Bright Student—"The price, sir."
Questions and Answers
What is,a polecat? A eat that should
be killed with a pole; the longer the
polo the better.
Why wasn't Eve afraid of getting
the measles. Because she Adam.
What is a dry dock? A doctor out
of prescriptions,
What is a bigamist? The man who
makes the same mistake twice.
Teacher (during test) -"I hope I
didn't sec you look at your book, Sam."
Samuel—"I hope you didn't, either."
When a girl is forbidden to smoke
she starts to fume.
Mistress—"Bridget, prepare lunch-
eon on the gasoline stove."
Bridget-"Indade, mum, I did try,
but the stove wifft'out"
Mistress—"Then try to light it
again."
Bridget --"Yes, mum, I will, but it's
not come back yet, Y'see, it want out
through the roof, mum."
That Cup of Tea!
Nearly 460 miles of bread are eaten
by Londoners every day. The weekly
ration is 25,000,000 half-quartern
loaves, and, although they vary in
size and shape, if they were all of the
"sandwich" type, about seven to eight
inches long, they would extend, if
placed In a straight line, for 3,100
miles.
Very large quantities of foodstuffs
are unloaded at the London docks
every year. The figures for 1980, ac
cording to a statement made by the
Port of London Authority recently, in
-
eluded 1,400,826 tons of wheat, 218,000
tons of flour, 660,000 tons of chilled
and frozen meat, and 160,000 tons of
butter.
One astonishing figure was 621,000
tons of green fruit and vegetables.
• And London also imported 491,000,000
lbs. of tea, enough to make 94,320,000,-
000 pups—between six and seven
every day of the 366 for every man,
woman, and child in England and.
Wales.
Poetry is Expression
By poetry I mean the art of pranc-
ing pleasure by the just expression of
imaginative thought and feeling' in
metrical language.—W. J. Courthope,
in "The Liberal Movement in English
Literature."
. is a genla0 man,
with an air of quietstrength
that compels confidence.
On his shoulders rests5
the responsibility for
your safety.
Imbued with the fin-
est traditions of British sea•
manship, he has spent his
l'retinle mastering the
moods of the seven seas.
Sailings weekly from Montreal
Cabin rates from .... $130
Tourist Third Cabin ... $105
Third Class Round Trip `$155
Special Seasonal Third Class
Round Trip'Etteurslon Rate
$129.
Information from
Cor. Bay and WollingtenSte.
(Phone Elgin 34711
Toronto
or any steamship agent
et
Old Mahe' Nature or raises from the masthead, means
'that the whale is browing off the car-
ll��l!66bon dioxic s preparatory to filling its
�� Her gtyg ++ rvels tanks and going down again.
_ Deep dowt in the fat of tb.e whale
By Charles 31 Stewart, Condensed are to be found the remnants of legs,
from The New York Thnes Magazine.
Nature is, above all, an inventor.
Her specialty is tools and machinery.
,The naturalist, taking things apart
and looking into their construction,
finds himeel working in the atmos-
phere of. a Patent ofliee. Life itself
may be -a m)5tery, but a mechanical
motion may be at onceso clever and
so simple that the mind seizes upon it
with delight Nature is 1u11 of such
shrewd devices as ere produced by
the inventor. t.
In inventing a bird, for instance,
Nature'wae confronted with a fine lit-
tle problem. How was she to make a
roosting bird that could tuck its head
under its wing, settle down for a
night's rest and go sound asleep with-
out danger' o' falling off the perch?
The problem was solved by attach
ing to the cords: which operate the
toes an extremely long tendon—one
which runs nearly the whole length of
the leg and broadens into a muscle
situatedhigl up on the front of the.
thigh. ,.This ingenious tendon passes
over the knee in front, runs in a spiral
direction 'round the bone of the lower
leg, and t -'o- passes over the heel be-
hind. As a result of this rigging over
opposed joints the bending of the leg
serves to put the muscle and tendon
on the stretch, and the weight of the
bird in settling down to sleep causes
them to lull the toe tendons. together,
Thus the bird is clamped automatical-
ly to the perch. No brain work, no at-
tention is required. It works while
the bird sleeps.
Any b' ' that is equipped with Na-
ture's Patent Roosting Clamp always
brings har toes together every time
she raises a foot in walking.
It isn't an easy feat to walk on stilts
which have a hinge in the middle, as
do `'those of the stork. And to tuck
its bead uninr its wing and take a nap
while staniiag in water is rpore pre-
carious s il,. Muscles which work
very long are likely to become fa-
tigued; and in such an event the stork
would topple into the stream. To
obviate anything like this, Nature has
made a contrivance for locking the
Mut. The bone of the lower part of
the leg as made to ilt into a socket
above it. When the two are allowed
to come together the leg becomes as
one piece of bone; the hinge is thrown
out of service and muscular fatigue is,
prevented. This is Nature's self-act-
ing.lock-joint for the use of storks and
other altitudinous birds,
The beehive presents to the mind an
industrial community so completely
given over to factory methods as to
make -us'wsnder whether it is not the
bee, rather tha. man, who should' be
given the credit for the great idea be-
hind the Industrial Age. Every bee
carries with her a large assortment
of tools, consisting of special adapta-
tions of legs and joints, and of these
tools the sting is an epecially well -
thought -ca. . contrivance. It has the
power and mechanism to drive itself
into anything as thick and tough as
a horse's hide, with a self-acting mus-
cle of its own, which is detachable
and even capable of going on working
it safe to assure that no species of
bird life now in existence will ever
become extinct. As compared with
1926 the bird population . of the re-
served areas has actually increased
by 19 per cent., the ten sea -bird
sanctuaries in the. Crulf of St. Lawr-
ence. beingthe scene'of the hatching
of well over 100,000 birds of 16 dif-
ferent species in 1930 alone. Some
of the most important of the birds
in Canada's reserves with their re-
spective gains during the past five
Years aro: elder duck 27 per cent.,
puffin 13 .per . cent., razor -billed auk
37 per cent., common murre 11 per
cent., black. guillemot, 134 per cent.,
herring gull 169 per cent, and come
mon tern 57 per sent.
Street at Night
There's something rather lovely
About our street at night:
The dusky gabled houses
With here and there a light,
The pattern of the elm leaves
In lace work on the walk,
The ehurch's bulky tower
Transformed to silver chalk,
The whistling velvet figures
Of homeward -faring men
Whose footfalls tap the silence
Till stillness wakes again,
The sky's brocaded curtain
Tassel tied with stars,
The post -historic monsters
We know as.. motor cars.
A kitten's furry -scurry
Across the street -lamp's RTC—
OUT street 15 rather lovely
To traverse after dark!
—Doris Wilder, in Poetry,
which ar. taken an an evidence of evo-
lution. But the whale has been so
deeply made over by means of special
devices that if it were deprived of
them there would scarcely bo any
whale left.
It is scarcely known that an egg is
a piece of machinery, a real, moving
mechanism It is not simply an or-
ganism and a mystery, but works ac-
cording ' the principles of the ma-
gician's magic bottle and of physical
laws. . ^h a chalaza, a thick cord of
twisted, tough albumen stretching
from the yolk on opposite sides to the
two ends of the egg serves to hold the
yolk in place When an egg is turned
in the fingers or rolled slowly back
and for,' the yolk does not revolve,
but remains with one side always up-
permost. •
The mgane by which it does this le
the weig:.t on one side, due to the
fatty globules on that side being
heavier and denser than. In the rest
of the yolk. Floating in the: white like
a ship in ballast, it turns on the albu-
men cord Ike a ship's compass hang-
ing in thegimbals; it le as true to the
Zenith as a as to the pole. ,The
lighter, c uppermost side of the yolk
bears on •its surface the germ spot
which represents the future chicken.
As a resit:. at the way the yolk is built
this germ spot, being always upper-
most, is near the warm body of the
hen in hatching.
The cha.aza is slack enough to let
the yolk float near the upper surface
of the egg -a further fine evidence of
the needy of the chick to be close to
the souro of heat Nor that all; A
chick or young bird even before its.
true lungs are formed, needs a small
but constant supply of fresh air. There
is a special organism by means of
which it absorbs air through the. shell,
and for this reason all eggshells are
porous. There is a groat unity in the
complications of the egg, the yolk as
a whole being of less specific gravity
than the white as a whole, all assist-
ing'in making the machinery act as it
does.
• The small fiat place at the big end
of the e_g provides an air compart-
ment for the use of the chick just be-
fore it is hatched, A chick develops
with its head toward the big end;
when it la fully formed and its lungs
are ready ;or use, it pricks the slight
membrane which forms a wall to this
air space and takes its Arai breath.
Inspired b. this new access of energy,
the chick gives the shell a vigorous
peck and makes a hole through which
To My Son
Little boy, the golden dust
Of half a million ysais
Glimmers forth among your hair,
But in your eyes gleam tears
Of desires unfulfilled,
Childish things today
Before the wine of life is spilled
And love's song gone gray,
Little boy, the primrose paths
Are waiting to be trod,
Reaching out towards Beauty
Smiling up to God.
Follow them until the end,
Nothing matters after . ,
But while living, I commend
Honesty and laughter!
T1, Leslie Sapulding, in the
Chicago Tribune.
s�—
APPLICATIONS
Are Filled As Far
As Possible in the
Order In Which
They 'Are
Received.
ONTARIO
DEPARTMENT
OF AGRICULTURE
Farm Help Supplied
The Colonization and linmigrntlon Branch of the,
Department of Agriculture for Ontario will have available a
number of Experienced Married Men With Their Wives
and Famllles-Married Couples Without Children—
Aleo Single Men.
Parmere requiring help will be well
advised to make early application to
Geo. A. Elliott
?,rentor of Colonization Men
Parliament Bldgs., A
Toronto. Ont Placed ]! subje
APPLICATIONS
Offering Annual.
Work Are
Invariably
Given the
Preference.
File Your
Application
s9 Once
ct.
d.
to Trial Perlo
HON, THOMAS L. KENNEDY, Minister of Agriculture
4. - V
d
i.
�, ®lb 16601) 0 - ,. " �'y24�0ED OSE�
ER
r � tC�Vld�
C1i�1�F. IS!i Re�,lett�rel �t C� 1
"The human hand is the most re-
marliable of all machinery which has
not yet been fully exploited."—Ray-
mond Duncan.
"Dictatorships are like houses of
cards -they may stand and they
may fall." ---Count Carlo Sforza,
Makes `Homes Healthful
and Beautiful
Always sweet and clean
Free stencil premium label on every pack-
age. Send .for Decorator's Guide and
Stencil Catalogue. 405
GXPSLICa Ann TFAEASTXNE...
Pars Octane
it ti breathing. Th ft
Kennedy
Menton
421 College St,
Toronto
Hartey-Davidson DTstrIbucors
Write at once for our bargain list of
used motorcycles. Terms arranged.
23
CORtIS & WARTS
Remove dry skin. Dab on
Minnrd's 3 tines doily. Let ,t
dry on. After a while Corns
and Warta
tiff right Off
Classified Advertising
,l"9 ASTERN CANADA'S 1..InoiiSx
seleeticn regiotered sta111Ona, nares
e -. r relaid. Write
Freight s tri h 1
.and work hors., g prepaid.
•.require-
ments.
uire-
� our e
I o e
giving exact 4osrt itition
men ts: PrlO•s, terms ,ease uable..�rnoid-
weld Farms, vrenvillo, (Inc,
ItAItIP
OR MACHIN: OR HANI)LtN1TTf
"All Wool,'"Silk and Wool,"
"lira` Tyme," .all oolors, 180 lb. a.
• amples free, Stocking S Yarn Mills.'
Dept. T. O,•illla, .Ont.
EAEH SBZCES.
�1 BABY ulI1C1{S=1.N SIX VAP-
1L'Tlh:3. ,no- and up, ataloguee
tree, A. H:. Switzer, Granton, Ontario.
b can continue rsa ng, a with
FREE TRIAL OFFE
bill of the chick is provided with a
point of fent•like hardness, which it o F
uses for the purpose of breaking its
shell and then discards.
Working models in our museums
would be valuable to illustrate these
prinoipl of nature. I
English School Head
Teaches Pupils Juggling
The directress of a large English
school has initiated a novelty in
education, which, however surpris-
by a sort of pumping motion, and Ing it appears at first consideration,
driving itself in after the bee has says "Le Matin," after a little study
usually found in features of a similar
character: She makes all her pupils
learn juggling!
Thanks to long continued exercises
of this sort with oranges, plates and
other objects—a course which she
has 'added to her lessons in gymn-
astics—the instructress is achieving
the happiest results. Her pupils ac-
quire a sense of perfect balance and
equilibrium, and become able to co -
reveals far more intelligence than is
flown away.
The .sting consists of two highly
polished javelins,.eaoh with barbs like
a fish-hook, fitted into a supporting'
sheath or scabbard. sothat they eau
be alternately thrust forward by the
self-acting muscle. The 'bee .needs to
insert only the first barb or two of the
lance, and the self-acting muscle does
the rest. Even if the bee loses her,
sting, the -sting drills into the victim,
emptying • its bag of poison into the ordinate every move and gesture in
wound through a groove between the graceful rhythm with these rising and
falling articles.
Such practices Ad to feminine
charm and elegance; their bodies
become more pliant and more lithe-
some, and. their contours • more na-
tural and pleasing. For these ad-
vantages, what girl in Franco does
not desire to take rip juggling?
two sliding spear's.
Here ie a mechanism as ingenious
as the self-starter or anything to be
found.' on all automobile.
The poison gas of the World War
was not new when one considers the
insect world. The little -Bombardier
beetle, when danger threatens, fires
off an explosive charge of an acrid and
irritating gas. When a number of
these beetles are alarmed and all fly,
at..once, their little explosive shots
seem like a miniature regiment in bat-
tle; each beetle is capable of produc-
ing from ten to twelve shots in. suc-
cession.
And how about the submarine? It
is this an invention unparalleled out.
side the patent office? Of course it is
ono thing for nature .to make a fish
capable et breathing water instead of
air, and of remaining permanently be-
low the surface, and another for man,
a land animal, to dodown into the
water and stay submerged by means
of a reserve supply of oxygen. But
this is nothing new, either, in Nature's
machine exhibit The whale, 'a land
animal which' has been made over to
fit conditions at sea, has storage places
for carrying extra supplies of oxygen.
Essential] , the- whale is as much a
land animal as is a horse or a cow, but
the you]) • whale is fed from . the
breasts by a quick gulp, an act of rapid
refueling among .the tumultuous
Waves. The whale is provided with
a thick wall of insulating •fat against
thecold, an sssentialpart of the de-
sign' t6 keep the engine of the warm-
blooded animal going..
The oxy ;en reserves of the whale.
are exten ive trade of arteries and
capiilarieo carrying a .supply of oxy
genatei blood that is not needed when
the wha: is on the surface and
breathing, but which is drawn upon
during periods of- submersion. The
cry "Thar she baowsl" which the sail -
FREE
Large illustrat-
ed catalogue or
new, and. rebuilt
bicycles f r u m
010 pp Motor-
cycles, Boats,
Ot-tboart Motors. Radios, etc. Transnor
on paid. Write to
DUNE ClrOBS AND 311OTOR 10..
.625 Queers Street 1P.. Toronto, Ont.
NO SNOW ON THE BOARDWALK
Atlantic City, New Jersey
Sends Greetings to Its Many
Friends in Canada.
We are quoting such a very low
American Pian rate that you will
find it cheaper to stay at the
"Homelike Strand" than staying
at home.
Write us so we may quote them
to you—so you wilt know the exact
cost before leaving.
Music—Salt Sea Baths—Compli-
mentary Tea Daily, 4 to 6 p.m.—
We will personally see to your
comfort.
T. E. t,ANDOW, mgr.
11, BRADFORD RICHMOND,
Prop.
asUSCHEN
TEARS
Tears never yet wound upa clook
or worked a steam engine.—Wise
Sayings.
If you have never tried Kruschen—try
it now at our expense. We have.
distributed a great many special
"GIANT" packages which make it
easy for you to .prove our claim for
yourself. Ask your druggist for the
new ''GIANT" 75c. Package.
'1110 aonsists. of our regular 75e. bottle together
with a separate mal bottle—sufficient for. about
one week, Open the trial bottle first,. put it to
the test. and then, if not entirely convinced that
itruschen does everything we claim it to do, the
regular bottle ,s still an good as new, Take 1t
back. Your druggist is authorised to return
your 15c• immed,ately and without question.
'You have tried En,aebea free, at our expense.
What
srtacterg
GriGtsHughe,fairer? Manufactured
Mhes, Eng.
(Estab. 175e), Importers: McGillivray .Bros.,
Ltd., Toronto. •
ISSUE No. 15—'31 —
CE-513LD
5—''3-
CE-513LD SEM
CRY Few; 07—
CHILDREN hate to take medicine
'""r as a rule, but every child loves
the taste of Castrato. And this pure
vegetable preparation is lust as good
as it tastes: lust as bland and fust as
harmless as the recipe reads.
Who Baby's cry warns of colic,
a few drops of Castorta has rum
soothed. asleep again in a ;illy tooth-
ing is more valuable an diarrhea.
When coated tongue or -bad breath
tell of constipation. invoke its gentle
aid to cleanse and regulate a child's
bowels. in colds or children'sdiseases,
you should use it to keep the system
from clogging.
Gastorialssddin every drugstore;
the genuine atways bears Chas f3.
Fletcber's n.gn..t ure
..9s0411(C
nesunit
—PHILLIPS
G
For Troubles
due to TION
INDIGEe
SOUR STOMACH
cHARTT UN
GAS. NASA
When
EVERY man, woman and child
will occasionally over indulge. But
don't suffer for your indiscretions.
It's folly to do so when you can so
easily sweeten and settle a sour,.
upset stomach with a little Phillips'
Milk of Magnesia.
Hearty eaters, have long since
learned the quick comfort this per-
fect anti -acid brings. Smokers know
bow it neutralizes nicotine; brings
back a sweet taste; guards the
breath. Womenknow what it does
for nausea—or sick headache. And
when children have over-eaten—
are bilious, constipated or otherwise
upset -give them a little of the
same, pleasant—acting and milky -
white Phillips' hliik of I'tr:pae5'a.
You'll be through with crude
methods once you learn the perfect
way. Nothing else has the same
quick, gentle effect. Doctors pre-
scribe it for indigestion, nausea.,
heartburn, gas, sour stomach and
headache. It has been standard
with them for over 50 years
Insist on- genuine Phillips' Milk
of Magnesia; a less perfect product
may not act the same. The genuine.
isalways a liquid—never in tablet
form—and
ow ays ondbottle and wrapper. is
always
Made in Canada
•
High School Boards and I: dards of Education
Are authorized by law to establish
INDUSTRIAL, TECHNICAL AND
ART SCHOOLS
With the approval of the Minister of Education
DAY AND EVENING CLASSES
may be conducted In accordance with the regulations Issued by
the Department of. Eeucatlon.
THEORETICAL AND PRACTICAL. INSTRUCTION
le given In various trades. The schools and classes are under the
direction of AN ADVISORY COMMITTEE.
Application for attendance should be made to the, Principal
of the school.
COMMERCIAL SUBJECTS, MANUAL TRAINING,' HOUSEHOLD
SCIENCE AND AGRICULTURE AND HORTICULTURE are provided
for In -the Courses of Study In Public, Separate, Continuation and High
Schools,Collegiate Institutes, Vocational Schools and, Departments.
Copies of the -Regulations Issued by the Minister of Education may be
obtained from the Deputy Minister, Parliament Bulidings, Toronto..