The Seaforth News, 1930-12-04, Page 11Owl Las 1
The melancholy nays are here when
'the papers begin printing the number
'Of Shopping days, before Christmas.
Doctor to wealthy patient)—"Yos,
you're all: run down. I suggest that
you,lay oft golf awhile„ return to busi-
,uess,'end get a good rest at your of -
.flee,"
Tardy :Plumber -"Well, here I am;
end how's things?"
Optimistic• Householder (three at
'deep in water)'—"Not s'o bad. While
I've been waiting for you I've taught
-my wife to swim
Of course, one can't always tell by
:surveying the hosiery in the street
which girl.will get the most in her
'Christmas` stocking, but 'One can
;pretty nearly tell which one ought to.
Young Lady ,(walking' boldly up to
elderly woman she had mistaken for
the matron of the iospl,al)-"May'I
see Lieutenant Barker, please?"
Elderly Woman—"May I ask who
You: are
Young' Lady—"Certainly. I am his
sister." "
Elderly Woman—"Well. well! I'm
-glad to meet you. I'm his mother."
Some fellowsgive girls the air be-
fore Christmas. -
Stenographers
'Stenographers may have their use,
Andsome there are who like 'em;
Not often do they get abuse,`
And bosses Beldam strike 'em.
;Stenographers have been to school,
They'll show you a (lithium;
But ilrave found that, as a rule,
They can't spell Oklahoma.
At punctuation not so ,good,
At grammar rather poorer,
Has ever steno understood
Why bosses still endure 'er?
The menagerie managers of the cir-
cus furnish' the elephants and the
tigers, but the press agents furnish
the "lyin'.'
REP
E
SMOKE
ACH ELOR
THE FINEST 10c CIGAR
N THE MARKET
British men
Doctors Serve
In Colonies
The total number . of women stu-
dents in the universities fell from 12,-
962 in the session 1923-24 to 12,899 in
1928-29 and the number of women en-
trants from 3,849 to 3,704, Says' the
London correspondent of The Ameri-
'can Medical Association.
"At the same time the total number
of students increased in the five years
under review from 53,025 to 44,309,
but the former figure included 1,742
ex -service men taking university
courses under the government
scheme," he continues. "High hopes
were formed about openings for wo-
men during the war, which have not
been fulfilled in the difficult period
that followed, and the resulting (lisnp-
polutment must have been an import-
ant factor in the decrease. The medi-
calprofession is a nee in point, for
the number of women students of
medicine and dentistry fell from 2.595
in 1921-22 to 2,020 in 1923-24 and to
1,108 in 1928-29. It is also likely, how-
ever, that the general economic de-
pression has borne aii,re heavily on
the girls than on the boys. In families
short of means to send children to the
universities there would be a prefer-
ence given to boys,
"Onthe other hand, with regard to
the special case of the medical pro-
fession, the Secretary of State for the
Colonies, Lord Passfield, declared at
the colonial' conference now sitting:
"We are bringing in the women. Fif-
teen years ago you could count the
number of .*omen physicians in the
colonial services on the fingers of one
hand. Now there are over sixty, and
the old idea that a woman had no
place in such rough and tumble con-
ditions of service as the Crown colon-.
ies must be given up. There is noth-
ing that -women cannot- do nowadays,
aryl T look to see the number of wo-
men physicians steadily increased, not
that they may oust the male physi-
cians, but in order that they may give
Gladys-" Etirel ha; been married
only two months, and last night she
struck her husband' with a rolling -pin."
Clarice—"The old-fashioned thing?.
Why didn't slre'use a tennis rachet or
a golf club, my dear?"
Drill Sergeant to awkward squad)—
"Com-pa-nee atter:-shun, corn -pan -Se,
lift up your left leg and hold it
straight in front of you.'
By mistake one member held up
his right leg, which brought it out
side by side with )ifs neighbor's left
leg.
Drill Sergeant (getting hard-boiled)
—"Acid who is the galoot over there
holding up both legs?" '
A poor loser is usually:that kind of
.a winner. Let well' enough alone and
worse off will let you alone. Optimists
are poor people who borrow money
from rich pessimists. .�f one will live
within itis income while young he can
live without it when he's 'old. A bald
head used to be a sign of great intel-
lect, now it's a sign that just another
mutt bas lost his hair. How many
people do you suppose there are in
the world who,' if given a choke be
tweea a good name and great riches,
would take the good name?
Harold (singing)—"Will you Love
me in December as you did in May?"
Helen -"Sure! 'Long about Christ-
mas.'
Yon would not knock
The -jokes we use,
Could you but see
Those we refuse!
Tithe nev4r seems to lag so terribly
as when you are standing in a crowd-
ed restaurant waiting for the fellow
who is nearly through to finish his
baked apple:
BLACKHEADS
so much more attention to the condi-
tion of the native women and child-
ren'"
"Provincial Days" at
Royal Winter Fair
"We, are featuring 'Provincial,Days'
at the Royal Winter Fair," said the
President,' Alfred Rogers, in an inter-
view, "because It has always been
felt that one of the purposes of the
Fair in addition to promoting the more
immediate needs of Canadian agricul-
ture, is to contribute to the develop-
ment of national unity, This year
we feel sure from the letters and re-
cords that the Royal will be a con-
crete expression of the optimism of
all who believe tithe basic soundness
of economic conditions in Canada.
Tho first day has been designated for
this especial purpose of •the Royal
Program, 'Canadian Day'. On that
day the broad national aspects of
Canadian agriculture are brought out
and its uniting effect in a national
sense are seen more plainly. We are'
dedicating the succesd ig days to
each of the provinces, combining the
three Maritime provinces into, one.
This year the order will, be:-
Cana Tian Day --Wednesday, Novem-
ber 19th,
British Columbia—Thursday, Nov.
20th.
Maritime Day—Friday, November'
21st.
Quebec Day --Saturday, Novombor
22115.
Alberta Day—Monday, November
24th.`
Manitoba Day—Tuesday, November
25th. -
Saskatchewan Day—Wednesday, No-
vember 26th.
Ontario Day—Thursday, - otiember
27th,
"On each day we hope to have the
Minister of Agriculture of each pro-
vince or his representative,. and we
shall make that particular province
as prominent as possible through
parades of livestock in the arena and a beautiful and effective ensemble:
in many other 'ways.
"In the past this has created an i le Treatment
atmosphere that has tended to intensi-
fy general interest in these provinces
and their resources. In this way
visitors to the Royal arid a means
under one root of comparing the'ex-
hibite of widely separated districts of
Canada and of contrasting them with
others, while at the same time .sens-
ing the link of unit that in abroad
'way rune through our Canadian life."
"We attach mucin importance to the
place the "Provincial Days' take in
the Royal plans". Mr. Rogers added
"they have, we ' think, an important
influence which elevates our agrlcul-
tural industry and give it added digni-
ty in the eyes of the men cuff women
who live by it".
Get two ounces of peroxine powder from
your druggist. Sprinkle on a hot, wet
,cloth and rub the face briskly. l0very,
blackhead win be dissolved, The one
safe. sure and simple way to remove
blackheads. Satisfaction guaranteed or
money 'refunded. F. W. $OARP 8i. 00,
422 Wetnniston St. 'W., Toronto
Chapped Skim
Wind, snow and sleet bruise un-
protected skin surfaces. Minard's
heals the raw skin tissue and af-
fords full protection.
The Hearing of Fish
Measured in a Test
Flair have as good sense of hearing
as human beings, and posisibly a bet-
ter one, according to Dr. Karl von
Frisch pf the. University . of Munich.
At a recent meeting of the National
Academy of Sciences in Washington
ho described how he had tricked
some minnows into yielding him this
information.
He appealed to the fish through
their stomachs, sounding a tuning
fork as he offered them food. The
fish associated the sound with dinner
time. By varying the pitch Dr, von
Frisch ascertained that the minnows
were seriblitive to -vibrations too low
for the human ear to catch, as well
.as to the highest note of a piano or
viol in.
I3e.coucluded that perhaps the fish
have two hearing organs, one for low
•notes, one for high.
r,.
Real Service
Mrs. Royseti was singing the praises
of her new maid to a few envious
friends, when the treasure herself en
tered the room with tea.
"Oh, Annie," said Mrs. Royson,
breaking off her conversation, "will
you run upstairs• and fetch a letter
that I deft` on my dressing -table,.
please?"
"Yes, ma'am,' 'answered' the maid.
"Which one is it? The one about your
brother's wedding, orMrs. Brown's
letteriaboutthe bazaar•?
Wins Trip Prize
British Expedition Will
Attempt Kanchenjunga Climb
Delhi, India.—A British expedition,
Is being organized to attempt the
ascent of Mount Kamet, 25,431 feet,
and' will start next August, it was an-
nounced recently. Mount Kamet,
which lies within the borders of the
United Provinces, is the second high-
est mountain in the. British Empire
and has never been scaled.
The expedition is being organized
by Frank S. Smythe, whose descrip-
tions of the recent Kanchenjunga ex-
pedition were published, with Prof.
Gunther Dyhi'eirfurths, an associate in
that expedition. It is proposed. that
the Mount Kamet expedition be lim-
ited to four or five persons, a sugges-
tion made in the light of the exper-
ience of the Kanchenjunga adventure.
It is also probable the expedition will
include only members of the Alpine
Club and the Himalaya, Club.
Wood Johnson, who played a heroic
role in the Kanchenjunga expedition,
will join the new party if possible. It
is planned to compass the climb be-
tween the end of August and the mid-
dle of October neyt year.
Carlsbad Cavern Bats
The bats which live and hibernate
in one end of Carlsbad Caverns, esti-
mated at 3,000,000, have not ',een giv-
ing their usual spectacular flights
recently, according to the American
Association for the Advancement of
Science. Two reasors are advanced
for this. One is that the extremely
dry weather of the past season has
e.iused a scarcity of night-fl:dug in-
sects, theother is that they have been
disturbed by work going on in a near-
by guano mine. Occasionally, how-
ever, they stream forth in great num-
bers, their
um-bers,'their flight from the cave open-
ing lasting for several hours. An in-
teresting feature of the bat exodus
is that although they always fly south
when they emerge from the cavern
they invariably return next morning
from the north.
MissGladysL. Powell, of Winnipeg,
passenger on a recent trip aboard
Canadian Pacific liner Duchess of
Richmond to Montreal, had a brilliant
idea for the Masquerade which fea-
tured the entertainment of travellers
on the voyage. Shewentas a "C.P.R.
advertisement" and when you look at
the above photograph you will not be
surprised to learn that slie was award-
ed the prize for "tile most original
costume." ,. Booklets, labels, badges,
mottoes and C.P.R. designs make up
An amateur angler, who was not up
to the tricks of the game, had been
whipping the water without success
for an hour or so,, when the inspector
marched up. "Are you aware," said
the newcomer, menacingly, "that .this
is preserved water?" : "Is it?" said the
angler. "I thought there was some-
thing funny about it,"
When You
OVER—
INDULGE
EVERY ' man, woman and child
will occasionally over -indulge. But
don't suffer for your indiscretions.
It's folly to do so when you eau so
easily sweeten and settle a sour(,
upset stomach with a little Phillips
Milk of Magnesia
Hearty eaters have long since
learned the quick comfort this per-
fect anti -acid brings. Smokers know
bow it neutralizes nicotine; brings
back a sweet taste; guards the
breath. Women know what it does
for nausea—or sick headache. And
when children have over-eaten—
are
ver-eatenare bilious, constipated or otherwise
upset—give them a little of the
same, pleasant -tasting and milky:
white Phillips', Milk of Magnesia.
You'll be through with crude
methods once you learn theperfect
way. Nothing, else ,has the same.
quick, gentle effect. Doctorspre,
scribe et for indigestion, nausea.
heartburn, as, sour' stomach and
headache. 31. has been standard
with them for over 50 years.
Insist on genuine Philips' Milk
of Magnesia; a less perfect product
may not act the same. The genuine
1. always a liquid—never in tablet
form—and the name Philips' is
always on bottle and wrapper.
for Children's Colds
Cold in the head is very common at
this time of year, especially in the
very young, Neglect of a cold is
prone to lead to serious consequences.
To relieve all congestion of the sys-
tem is the first step in treating a cold,
whether in infante or adults. For the
very young, Baby's Own Tablets are
the ideal means of doing this. Con-
taining no narcotic or other harmful
drugs they soothe the child's fretful-
ness, relieve its suffering and ensure
convalescence,
Baby's Own Tablets arewithout an
equal for relieving indigestion, con-
stipation and colic. They check diar-
rhoea; break up .colds and simple
fevers; promote health -giving sleep
and make the dreaded teething period
easy, They are sold by all medicine
dealers or by mail at 25 cents a box
from The Dr, Williams' Medicine Co.,
Brockville, Ont.
Danger from Colds
Every woman beyond middle age
should realize that a, majority of the
troubles she has to fear have their
origin in what are known as common
colds. Each attack lowers her vitality
and reduces resistance to disease. At
'this season of the year every woman
should see that her blood is toned up
to meet the rigors of the climate and
especially that strength should be re-
stored after any cold, however slight.
For this Dr, Williams' Pink Pills are
a reliable tonic.
These Pills are not -a mere stimu-
lant giving temporary relief. They
build up the body by creating that rich
red blood 'which imparts the glow of
health; steadies the nerves, improves
the appetite and 'digestion and make
the users capable of withstanding the
rigors of our Fall and Winter. months.
They aro sold by medicine dealers or
by mail at 50 cents a box from The
Dr. Williams' Medichre Co., Brockville,
Ont.
Up -State Farm Provides
$400 a Year in Family Food
Albany, N.Y--The typical Nevr
York State farrn saves its owner
about $265 a year on the fancily food
bill, figured at farm prices, or nearly
$400 a year at retail prices, Stanley
W. Warren of the State College of
Agriculture finds in the accounts of
514 farms.
Figuring the $62 worth of milk as
double that cost at retail, he suggested
that the farmers should use more than
the average of seven -tenths of a quart
per person daily. Only about a fourth
of the families made their own butter,
and each of these used about three
pounds a week.
Poultry furnished $80 worth of food
a year, each family using six eggs
daily and three pounds of chicken
weekly, Twothirds of the families
had home-grown pork, using about a
pound a' day, or $39 worth in a year.
Besides • garden vegetables and
honey, the typical family used thirty-
seven bushels of potatoes and fourteen
of apples and burned twenty-one cords
of wood. But only seven of the '514
farmers took wheat to the mill and
brought home flour as their grand-,
Congressman: "Did you buy your
present political position?"
Senator; "Sure thing. I don't look
like a dead head, do I?"
Banish pain with Minard's Liniment,
A Safe Bet
Sandy, the Scot, knew that his
friend Ikey was receiving certain
wonderful racing information which
he always kept to himself.
"I'll test him out," said the Scot to
himself, as he saw his friend approach-
ing.
"I say, Ikey," said Sandy, "if some-
one gave you a hundred pounds pro-
viding you put it on a horse, which
one would you select?"
"A pori -runner," replied Ilcey ha-
mediately.
fathers did,
Mitiard's Liniment refreshes the scalp.i
A MILLION FAT FOLKS
CAN'T BE WRONG
�nt1!s
grat tons
MEI) &GROOMS
®� ou will
1i:ve.Yny Itamil.
Maxi ` I iiwite
rtiovi. to t. Rea.
c*e.Tea 1 •
Reout ItEb C101-
Almost a Honeymoon
The young couple were driving in a
horse -car to the station after the wed-
ding.
Their enthusiastic friends and rela-
tives had treated them to a more••than
rousing send-off. Shoes, rice, and con-
fetti had descended in showers.
Passers-by grinned that "just married"
grin as they drove through the
streets.
"Well, that's all over, dear," said
the bridegroom, soothing his tremb-
ling bride, "nothing more to worry
about now."
Suddenly the cab pulled up with a
jerk.' The driver alighted and poked
his head through the cab window.
"Horse thrown a shoe," he explain-
ed.
The young bride clutched at her
husband's arm.
"011, George!" she cried. "Is it pos-
sible that even the horse knows that
we are newly married!"
A New Party?
I1 was a very wet day, and the child-
ren were in the nursery discussing
certain things they would do when
they grew up.
"Yes,' said little Peggy, "when I
grow up I'll have a big motor -car,"
"So shall I," put In her brother Eric.
"And a big twelve -valve wireless
set," Peggy went on.
"So shall I," chanted -Eric.
Peggy paused for new ideas,
"011, then I'll have a big party every
night," she continued.
"Yes, and so shall I," Eric agreed.
"Eric," expostulated Peggy sudden-
ly, "you must be one of those people
daddy calls `so -shall -fists'."
And that's a low estimate of the
number taking Ifruschon to keep down
superfluous fat.
When you take vitalizing Kruschen
Salts for a few days that old indolent
— i.
Im deserts you t
arm -chair ice
doesn't matter how fat you re—the
o
urge for activity has got you—and
you're " stepping lively.
And best of all • 'in like this activity
—you walk a coni •' ' of miles and enjoy
it—you thought you'd never dance
again, but you fin t you're getting as
spry as ever the . Id tingling, active
feeling reaches ev . your feet;
Krusehen is a cmiibinntion of the
six salts Nature bus o' ready put into
your body to keep, yuu•alive —i2 it
were not for these vital salts you could
not live. •
One bottle is enough to prove to
you that Mruselien will make you feel
younger — spryer -- more energetic —
you'Il enjoy lire -every minute of it.,
A half teaspoonful in a :glass of
Trot water every morning is all you
need to keep healthy—Imp your •
stomach, liver, bowels and kidneys in
splendid condition ---free your system
from harmful tonins and acids.
Classified Advertising
UTANTED—A THOUSAND seruviSH-
!I'' ERS to get prices for sen?'"r
apples Overseas for Christmas, Write
"The Man Pro:.- Bent" Drawer A. Bur-
lington, Ont
Son: "Aren't you going to wait up
for father?" Mother: "What's the
use? I've got such a cold I can hard-
ly speak."
If bciby as
COLIC
CRY in the night. Colic! No
cause for alarm if Castoria is
handy. This pure vegetable prepara-
tion brings quick comfort,and can
never harm. It is the sensible thing
when children are ailing. Whether it's
the stomach, or the little bowels;
colic or constipation; or diarrhea.
When tiny tongues are coated, or the
breath is bad. Whenever there's need
of gentle regulation, Children love
the taste of Castoria, and its mildness
makes it safe for frequent use.
And a more liberal dose of Casteria
is always better for growing children
than strong medicine meant only for
adult use.
CA�.
. 1ORA
'I...
f0
r
SORE TROA
CKLeEY5
Xa RE
MI Y
Ads Ilk a,
400
10 00001
To Wake up,FIT__
Tomorrow
Take one
T®N�I G H.
nick Relief for
CONSTI DATION
BILIOUSNESS
BLOATING, ETC.
Oscar li
"THEY WORK
WHILE YOU SLEEP"
DO YOU
SUFFER WITH
HEADACHE?
So easy to get quick relief and pre-
vent an attack in the future. Avoid
bromides and dope. They relieve quick
ly but affect the heart and are very
dangerous. They are depressing and
only give temporary relief, the cause
of the headache still remains within.
, The sane and harmless way. First
correct the cause, sweeten the sour
and acid stomach, relieve the lutes,
tines of the decayed and poisonous
food matter, gently stimulate the liver,
start the bile flowing and the bowels
pass off the waste matter which causes
your headache. Try Carter's Little
Liver Pills. Druggists 25c red pkgs.
YOUNG °1FE
STRENGTHENED
After Taking Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound
Bancroft, Ontario—"When I first
took Lydia Li Pinkham's Vegetable
riCompound 1
had been married.
abouta year an$my strength, was
leaving me on 00.
count of my eon-
dition. 1 wasonly
19and'itwasmr,
first child. :M
mother told me I
needed something
to .F't )ler steady a 4 J'-'
:.. iia
drum told .me to
take the Vegetable Compound. d am eo
thankful I did because it strengthened
my whole system and now 1 feel per-
featly
er
feotly well and have a sweet little baby:
boy.'-Mts. J. B. SMILER, Bancroft,.
Ontario. _-_.-._- - - - 0
ISSUE No. 47—'30