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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1930-07-17, Page 3Owl Lafls. There don't so meny false prophets come in sheep's clothing any 'lore as they do in fancy vests and spats, And now we hay the Scotchman who had a boil on his neck, and con- sulted a freelance doctor, What a Shame A pretty young flapper of Savannah,.. Stepped on the peel of a banana, Lost control of her feet, And took a hard seat In a very undignified manna." After a woman has the floor and :tuns on uninterruptedly, why does she pause in her extemporaneous digest to ask: "Are you listening?" Editor -"How' tho new reporter? 1 told hint to condense as much as pos- sible." , Assistant—"He did. Here's .hie ac- count of yesterday's afternoon tea: Mrs. Lovely poured, Mrs. Jabber roar- ed, Mrs. Duller bored, Mrs. Rasping gored and Alts. ltmpcnpoint snored. Only the, restaurant chef knows what ite puts in his soup and he caul remember. Boy—"Did you know that they had discovered' a new planet?" His Chum—"No, is it anything like spinach?" What glees people the Wi':tes? We are 'not sure, but are inclined to sus- pect the. stork. Dearie—"I made these biscuits for you all by myself." Hubby—"That's- very 111. ughtful of you, sweetheart; but you shouldn't do such heavy work." Late marriages are to be preferred since the vitt! 1s have so much short- er time in which to be tired of each other. Business Man—"What do you think of the board of directors of the new company?" Friend—"Half o: theist are capable of nothing, while the rest are capable of anything." The plea of the fiendish murderer l 1'' is always for mercy. Something he did not r'it'e himself. The Miracle -300 women :u the cast and none of them saying a word.. He—"To-nigh. I'm going to speak my mild to you." She—"Aren't you really goint to say anything?" Advice My son, see that you don't believe All that you hear, or you will grieve; You'll find so many people know T So many things that are not se. Meet "Laundry," boys, she's always Called for and de_: erect, Nothing Is so wealth. as a direc- tory of .folks who never stay put long enough to be counted. "I've got a woman •crazy for me," sang the asylum keeper. Bill—"/ never kiss a girl except on great occasions," Sue—"What do you call great occa- sions?" 13111 --"Whenever I Kiss a girl." To be happy cultivate your forget tery. "This day started wrong, because the first letter opened began: 'Dear sir and brother'." There's sural( choice. ' A summer vacation is just as cheap as staying at hone acid entertaining relatives who are of vacation, Music Teacher (to young man call- ing or his daughter)—"What shall we have—a concerto of a sonata?" Pupil—"No, thanks; Til take thine straight." Masses Are Afraid To Travel by Air? Plain language is(used by Major John. J. Netters of the irortietL Division, California National Guard, about safe- ty in flying. He points out to avia- tion enthusiasts that, as a "crash" is always reported in the newspapers with a reference to previous accidents, "the total effect is further to under mine the public's confidence in the air- plane as a safe' medium of travel." Nevertheless, he says, in an article in Aviation, "the only way to stop news of crashes is to stop the crashes." "Man 111 the mass," writes Majojr Jeffers, "is not air-minded—lie is ground -minded." People neurally see the inherent disadvantage of the plane in not being able tc, remain stationary tit.Llts air in Cog or in the darkness, and he compares it with the motor car or with a ship that can live through a 8101111 on the sea. It is demonstrable that, while the, airplane has been brought tp a high degree of ruliabll ly, most accidents are due to what play be called pilot failure. If the helicopter principle. could be developed so as to bring the airplane down slowly to a careful land- ing, the problem of Safety would be solved. • When ED ROSE TEA was 75c. lb. bulk tea at 50c. or 60c. looked cheap, of course. But now that RED ROSE. RED LABEL can be bought for 128 at any grocer's, few people will be satisfied to drink btelk tea. Scrambled Poetry - EHt Wnigs The letters of the words to this lir- tle verse seem somehow to have. be- come ,nixed up. See if you can un- ravel them, Woh .od ouy iriet.ot,og pu ui a gwins, Pit Mehr ria os lueb? Ito, I od hinlit ti het testnaseapl latjlg '(sere a hildc nac od! Pu ni eht Haden vero eth laws, Lilt I nac ese os diew, Versir adti eeetr den tlecat nad'lal Evro etit edisyrtuuoc— Lilt I holo wond no Leh dneeag negro; Nwod iia eiit Coro or rabnw— Pu Iii eth ral I og gnifyi nagia, Pu ni eht ira nad nwod! 1 reborSutoi Nosnevete. STURDY CHILDHOOD C The sturdy child --the bright, active little chap is the one everybody loves. It is only the sickly, fretful child who is not attractive. It is the birthright of every child to be sturdy and well- to be able to make everyone admire him. Therefore, mothers,'if yours is notattractive it's your fault, 1101 bis,. Ike must be ailing and it up to you to see that he gets relief—that he is given a medicine that will quickly make hips well and keep him well. Baby's Own Tablets are especially designed for infants and young child- ren. There is nothing to equal them for correcting the irregularities 01 the stomach and bowels—the cause of most of the ills from which little ones suffer. The Tablets are sold by medi- cine dealers or by mail at 25 cents a box from The Dr. Williams" Medicine Co., Brockville, Oaf. A millionaire may be reckoned as one who has art Income of not less than $250,000 a year. Britain had 598 such "millionaires" in 1924, but this number had decreased to 497 by 1928. Motors of Future Will Run. Minus. Gas? Automobile owners need not fear a shortage of motor, fuel, according to Thomas T. Read, professor of mining engineering in Columbia University. ++ • Professor Read foresees the possi- bility that the automobile,: ot the fu- ture uture may not require liquid fuel. This development he regards- as no more improbable than flying was thirty years ago. He says, as quoted in a press 'bulletin issued by tate Univer- sity"s Department of Public 'aroma The only eople who have grounds for immediate worry are the petro- leum refiners, who in 1929 made 420,- 000,000 gallons more gasolttte than they could sell, and so lied to add it to their already large stock. Gasoline is not the only possible fuel for'automobiles to the research men and manufacturers have many othte "strings to their bow," we are'assured as, the discussion is continued: Motor fuel can be produced by the hydrogenation of coal, and the Leuna plant in Germany hoped to produce 100,000,000 gallons in that way last year. Even in the face of the 'fact that more ordinal';^ gasoline is being bade than can be sold, a number of possi- bilities of substitute liquid fuels are being studied, and encouraging pro- gress Is bring made. Filially, there is the p'asib'lity that the automobile of the future may not require liquid fuel. It scents improbable now, but not more improbable than flying through the air seemed thirty years ago. So there is no gleed for worry. •;'-- Little Doris: "Mummy, what Is a Civil Servant?" Mother: "It's so long since we had one that I've almost forgotten, darling." The talking pictures have caused a great change in the personnel of tho movies. Will television similarly pause some of the popular radio enter- tainers to seek another field? • • Travellers Finish 23,000 -Mile Trip Travelled Across World to Prove Worth of British Motorcycle • Montreal. -Fourteen days imprison- ment in Tprkey as spies, two encoun- ters with bands of bedouins in the de- sert, who 'shot at them, and a bird's eye view of the berating of the Shycot dant in the Syndh deft, which wiped out villages and caused hundreds of deaths are among the experiences of J Gill, 31, of Braford, England, and P. Irving, 27, of Melbourne, Australia," world -traversing - motorcyclists,- who recently arrived' in Montreal on the last lap of their 23,000 mile journey,. Starting from London, England, on, May 13, 1929, Gill, accompanied by W. T. Stephens, who was later obliged to drop out cis account of 111 health, went through France, Germany, Switzer- land, .Austria, Hungary, Jugo-Slavla, Bulgaria, Turkey, Syria, Irak, Persia, Baluchistan, India, Buru:a, the Feder- ated Malay States and Australia: At Melbourne• he picked up Irving, his present companion, and from there they went to New Zealand, taking a steamer from there • to. Vancouver. They came here from the Pacific coast and took In a little United States ter- ritory on their way. Arriving at Van- couver on April 24, It took then, less than two months to reach Montreal. "The object of our trip is to prove to overseas motorcycle dealers that British -made machines an still eii- preme," GUI said, "Ours is a Vincent H,R.D. one -cylinder, 4 lap. machine," he said, "winch when the .sidecar is loaded, pulls a weight of more than 1,200 pounds. It is, I think, the only one-cyliuiler machine that kas ever been aped on a trip around the world." PALE FACES JADED NERVES Due To Weak, Watery Blood. Anaemia — impoverished blood comes so stealthily that it is often well advanced before recognized, Fa- tigue and discomfort, the earliest man- ifestations of the trouble, are seldom 0 "BELIEVE IT OR NOT" 25 YEARS AGO .. . —when Wilson's Bachelor cigars were . first enjoyed—bicycling was considered one of the "speediest" of sports. Now—after 25 years- Wilson's Bachelors are more popular than ever. The wonderful quality of their 100% Havana filler has been steadily maintained—and they are foil wrapped. individually foil wrapped lop and in pocket packs of five BAC Still mos serdemiroommem f©r i 4..........,, the money_ taken seriously. Soon, the face be- Empress of Japan comes pale; the nerves jaded; the heart palpitates violently after the slightest exertion; ,the appetite be. comes fickle and before you realize it you are in a terrible plight, At such time, by enriching and Puri- fying the blood Dr. IVilliarne' Pluk Pills will build up the nerve cells and correct the run-down condition. Con- cerning them Miss Margaret Torrey, Toronto, Oiit., says:—"I suffered a complete breakdown. My heart would palpitate on the least exertion. Neth. lug I ate agreedwithme. I started taking Dr. Williams' Pink Pills and by the time I had taken several boxes I was ready for anything;'1 had gain- ed in weight and every distressing symptom had left me." You can got these Pills from any dealer in medicine or by mail at 50 cents a box from The Dr. Williams' Medicine Co., Brockville, Ont, That precious stone, file white dia- ntond, has left its exclusively white- collar job and put on overalls. A leading optical company has discover- od that the jewel, properly -mounted, is the best possible cutting tool for finishing small metal parts, cutting literally tltottsaud t of pieces with no change in its cutting edge. Aristo- cracy, whether of gems or of sten, Justifies its existence best by giving the most service. P: "Flow do he'and his wife get along together?" Q: "Eine, because they seldom are." The Finishing Touch �',r.,.3.f' ky'dai.v,.. 4; As the giant Baer clipped off the. miles on her 'regular transatlantic journey, Miss Edith Young and her girl friend reclined an the promenade clock, enjoying the steady rhythmical motion of the mighty monarch' of the. deep. "I 111 s0 happy I want to tell every- body!" exclaimed i]llitlt to her friend, "How is that, Edith?" said her companion: "Well you know how worried Mama' 11a and Dad were about us arriving safely at'tlie boat. Then to come on board here and almost the first thing I saw was a telephone sign inviting me to call home and actually apeak front the ship to Mother and Father. It just took me about five minutes to get them on the line. My, what a delight it is to leave them knowing that we arrived safely. It's just won - what's hefe,een tall adertub nd aural;?— Woadet•fal' indeed," said her And, friend, "but that's only part of the miracle. Just thiuk that even now, "talk to our parents as_ easily as from miles' at sea we can go . to the same downtown: at. home. Say, we can't tetephdne, and thank to the emus even homesick anymore on sea or g be Y and skill of Bell le u i r u l d Telephone a nee s laud with telephone, at hand. p g I p C.P.R's Biggest Ship Marble Swimming Pool, Palm Court and Fine Decora- tions An engineering triumph of splendor and efficiency, the Empress of Japan, largest ship of the Canadian Pacific Railway's many ocean services, bas become a unit in the largest transpor- tation organization in the world. In a few days ebe will leave for the Pa- c[fic. The railway has staked the millions which have gone into the largest ship sailing under the Canadian ensign up- on the growth of trade and develop pleat of relations with the Far East. The ship is a worthy portrayal of•their faith. Never has such a floating palace been placed ou the Far East service, and to Canada is offered the pride of sailing the largest ship on the Pacific, built in Glasgow for a Canadian com- pany, operated by Canadians and with an established Glasgow -to- Montreal speed record• Though she will be overshadowed by her ,sister ship recently launched by the Prince of Wales, the Empress of Britain, nearly halt as large again in tonnage and even more luxuriously equipped and fitted, yet the Japan will carry the name of Canada into the far routes of trade. ' The interior decoration is artistic throughout, Deck after deck appears before the eye, a symphony .of liar- mnaious finish. For completeness few ships on any route can compete with her. ' Spectacular Swimming Pool Suulc in a marble setting at the na- pes: end et which- a golden dolphin spouts a spray of water to the centre of the pool, 11 is surrounded by a pro- menade. At the lower end is a mod ernistically designed . buffet from whith soothing fluids are dispensed to resting bathers, Ou boarding the ship the first to catch the eye is the Palm court, reach- ing from side to side and ceiiinged with ground glass through which filt- ers golden light. At the forward cud is the dining saheb, the full width of the ship, one end given to a serving stand above which towers a gleaming mirror in t110 centre of which is em -I bedded a tiny clock. A futuristic promenade alley leads to the oak ball room.'`Idere, from a golden stage, the orchestra Will be heard, Above it.dancers will flud a garden, a promenade riotous with col- orful blooms. All lighting is front concealed fix- tures; Each rooms, no matter what its size, is a blending' of woods, furnish- ings and fixtures. Two suites, sur- passiug that of many hotels and only rivalled iu a few instances, have tiny gardens with cool -colored summer fur- niture, All staterooms have green and white tiled bathrooms and allcloth- ing cupboards flood with light as their doors are opeuo+;i. All staterooms have. beds instead of berths.They also i1ae dressing tables. Minard's Liniment .gives quick relief. Tire Antics! There is quite a tot of fun to be had from an old auto tire. It may be used as a swing and tied with a strong rope to a beam overhead, or to the strong branch of a tree. A single rope is sufficient. The one who swings sits on the lower curve with the feet on one side ot the tire, and the head above the upper curve, holding to the rope tied around the center of the up- per curve. Such a tire may also be tied over a plunge or swimming pool and used as a spring board. The dive may' be made from it either In a sit- ting or standing position. For a stunt contest at a picnic, camp program or party, the auto tire ie full of possibilities. Below are • some suggestions; you will think of many others: 1. See who can roll a pair of auto tires, with the hands, to a eertaiu goal within the shortest time. Someone holds a watch to time each contestant in tarn. 2. See who can toll a single tire the longest distance ahead of hint without allowing it to fall. 3. Suspend au auto tire above the heals ot the players, and see who can throw• a number of different articles through It, without missing. Such ar- ticles as a buil, an apple, a shoe, a horse shoe or a hat may be tossed through it in turn. 4. Rolt a tire toward a line of. boys and see if each boy on a side (there should be two sides in this contest) can jump and allow the tire to roll be- tween the lege. 5. Have two persons hold an auto tire on the ground and see which boy can crawl through the tire the quick- est. 6. Place an auto tire around the waist and, with this handicap, time each contestant in a rac1 to see who can run the fastest to a certain point. Classified Advertistnx FOB 8Af.8 AIKlin eHILkti-WL 11,\I't'li lsU 2l5,00a last ren( tri lank tle't Write fur free eelelneua A if Switzer li1arthtn, tint, Toot SALE -200 4Cj218S (=001) 8.� loam, 25 acres bush• balance all ekeelletill- able.and ock, well fenced.,p 11151 Class butildings. n grater fn bahna and house, enc one loc t 11.1(01 and church, rate sell oil In bloc' nr seti- hundred separate. Good reasons for sell- ing.. Apply ilorley Beath, Shanty 1'nv, R.IDLA. AGENTS WAISTED .s CSLNTS EARN 00(11) MONEY .til, selling the best fruit trees. shrubs, eines, 5V•ergreens, roses, etc.: lawn nr heuntry; selling nutat su Prlied: et cry help 6h'Cn; eornmlaskms paid week] y. F: U. solid S Sons. Ltd.. n W1nano. nn- 'tarlo. 5,00 acres fruit and: nursery sinOlO Minard's Liniment Checks Colds. A Lost Heart When.Kitty plays tennis, well she knows She's playing, too, a game as clever: A ��. genie I vow 2'11 have to close, YOUNG • Though Kitty would make it last for- ever. I watch her thus, aglow, alert, A pretty braid, and so—a flirt; My heart's the ball; 'twee Kitty's way After TakingLydia E. To seize it first, then order—"Play." t:. Pinkham'sVegetalale- Compoa.lrid King Bug Killer!' The Better Insecticide, Fungicide and Fertilizer A Quick and Sure Death to the Insect • Prevents Blight Stimulates the Plant Through the Leaf Guaranteed AT YOUR DEALERS Write us for Literature KING CALCIUM PRODUCTS CAMPBELLVILLE, ONT. Box C For Sunburn Minard's relieves the acute sting, ,and prevents the muscle restric- tion attendant on a bad sunburn. STRENGTHENED Casey (after seeing Riley fall five stories): "Are yez dead, Riley?" Riley: "01 ata that." Casey: "Shura, au' ye're such a liar 01. don't know whither to believe ,yez or not." Riley: "An' " that proves O'im dead. Yes wudn't call me a liar if Ol wuz alive," Nurses anted The Toronto Hospital for Incurables, iu affiliation with Bellevue and Allard Hospitals, /Sew'.ork City, otiers a Three Year's. Course of Training to Young Women, having the required education, and desirous of becoming nurses. This Hospital has adopted: the eight-hour ayetent. The pupils receive uniforms of the School, a monthly allolwanoe and travelling expenses, to and from New York. For further particulars writ(, or apply to the Superintendent. ISSUE No. 27— '30 Bancroft, �Ontario-"When 1 first to41s LVdii2.1, r rj m Vegetables 1, Compoiinii i had been married about a. year and. my strength. was' leaving Inc on. ac. count of my con- dition. !was only 19 and it waseny fust child. My mother told me L needed something to steady uta nerves and\ a girl `^ l chum told me to take the Vegetable Compound. 1. am so thankful 1 did because it strengthened my whole system and now 1 feel per fectly well and have a sweet little baby boy. '—Mils: T- B. STALsnzb .&Viniroft, Ontario r�vELui., i,,'':aanatuadir.•�uari&riii.,°y,:iarauii