HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1961-02-02, Page 3,And ,Now The 'Ducks
Have Thein Doubts
Should anybody be worrying
about my ducks, be it known
that my ducks are new worrying
about' me, They have found that
I don't flout worth a cent, This
'has a nugatory effect on my in-
fluence amongst them, for the
Way I quack they thought I was
a duck, too. They now know bet.
ter.
T quack rather well, really.;
being a longtime student of the •
articulate Mallard, I can step out
on my doorstep in the bracing
air of a country morning, make
a couple of quacks with. such
facility as seldom accrues to"
humans and set the whole duck -
pond in a tizzy of excitement.
The flock quack back with cite-
dulity, and confide in me with
their most secret thoughts. Fur-
thermore, I can make not only
the quieter quack of the green-
head drake, which is cozier and
limited in range, but the high,
raucous quack of the female as
well — which will slap against
a distant barn and set the wild
echoes crying all up and down
the Ridge. I am not only just a
duck, I am two ducks.
So they rally to my remarks
and feel I am one of them. The
other day when I rounded them
up and inserted them in the
weather -tight coop where they._,
customarily pass the discontent-
ful winter, they spoke sharply to
me about freedom and liberty
and due process and impugned
my intelligence, I told them the
weatherman was even now in-
sistingthat an old bruiser of a
blizzard was due, and in spite
of their strong arguments. I
would have to be adamant.
I told them all this in patient
quacks, but they knew more than
I did. I closed the door and ad-
justed the button and as I walk-
ed away I could bear them dis-
cussing me liberally, and mak-
ing coarse comments I would not
now care to repeat. They seemed.
to think that for a duck, I was a
nut,
But the weatherman proved to
be correct, and shortly the storm
settled in and it was indeed a
rouser. By morning we had a
foot of lovely snow, and I sup-
posed the ducks would be grate-
ful for my foresight. With the
morning wind still whipping the
township I filled a bucket with
warm water and waded through
the drifts to bring them a drink.
I quacked pleasantly as I ap-
proached the coop, expecting an
answering greeting, and perhaps
some of the chummy sass I elicit
by some of the things I say.
They did not answer, however,
and I opened the door to find
the encompassed ducks unen-
compassed. The wind had snaked
a pane of glass from one of the
windows, and during the night
my flock had flown forth. This
must have been something to
see. Ducks can't jump like a
hen and they had to effect this
exit on pinions. How they took
off inside the smallish coop and
so fretted their wings that they
had them drawn close at the
precise instant of negotiating a
seven -by -nine opening, one at a
time, must have been a whole
new concept of flight. Some
artists in mobiles should try to
express this. A flock of ducks
erupting in order from a broken
window suggests an unerring
accuracy beyond belief, and I'm
sttre if I'd seen it I'd have
doubted.
Next .I had the task of perus-
ing the acreage to find them,
While New York and Boston
were lamenting traffic delays
and the drop-off in holiday busi-
ness, I was trudging the farm,
quacking away like a good one,
and wondering if my flock had
really kept on going to Alabama.
They had not. In the wind, soon,
I heard an answering quack from
from 'the pond, and I walked
lout on the ice looking behind
evory. snowflake to. find my flock
sitting peacefully in a springhole
of open water about the size of
a 'bushel basket. They were
bunched, Each had a soft blan.
ket of new snow on his or her
back, and each lifted a' wild to-do
as I approached,
I got the idea they were glad
to see me and were apologetic
for their perfenestration. I
quacked teasingly like a drake,
causing the hens to become vio-
lently' enthusiastic, and then 1
quacked a little like a hen which
stirred the drakes up a good
deal. Then I edged out to see if
I could persuade them to leave
the springhole and move to-
wards the coop; I told them I
would repair the window and re-
store farmer comfort,'
At this point I heard a great
snap, and a splash, and I pre-
sumed somebody had fallen in
the water, so I looked around
and found it was myself. I dis-
covered the pond, at that point
Was chest -high to any citizenof
my build, and that it consisted
largely of nicecold water of a
close and intimate disposition, I
continued to quack, but my ef-
forts to swim were not convinc-
ing. The ducks stared at me from
their blankets of snow, disbelief
in their•eyes, and seemed to won-
der how anybody who could
quack so good could, swim so bad,
Let me not dwell too closely
on the ensuite. I successfully
gain the merge, and proceed in-
tently toward the house. Behind
me, in the whistling of the wind
follow the jeering remarks of
my friends. I distinctly recall
several snide quacks. I am said
to have bounded into the kitchen
with a clinking noise, and to
have recumbented myself on the
floor to lift my • heels into the
air and allow about eight gal-
lons of tingling moisture to flow
forth on the floor. And so on.
I muttered some, and chattered.
And sat all afternoon. The next
day I tried again andgot the
ducks inside, setting the glass.
But they stared at me with un-
believing eyes, and seemed to
doubt. Tthink they have conclud-
ed I am not a duck at all. By
John Gould in the Christian
Science Monitor.
Teenagers' Idol
Creates Mob Scene
Outside the new Woolworth
store in San Juan, Puerto Rico,
the youthful mob verged on hy-
steria; one of Western teendom's
'demigods — 19 -year-old crooner-
comopser Paul Anka — had just
arrived for an autographing ses-
sion., So great was the crush
that police and store employees
had to carry the golden -throated
colossus over the heads of his
surging admirers to the store's
record booth. There Anka was
supposed to sign records, but
the project was abandoned when
his fans tore down the booth
and threatened to turn the store
into a shambles. Police got Anka
to the third floor, where he
stood at a window signing slips
of paper and tossing them to the
crowd in the street. Next, Anka
crawled into an empty crate
which workmen were going to
carry out of the building. But
then a helicopter arrived; it
landed on the roof of the thir-
teen -floor building, picked up
Anka and deposited him on the
sheltered beach of the Caribe
Hilton Hotel: Unperturbed, An-
ka said casually: "I am a no -
faze guy.",
Residents in the blizzard areas
will readily agree that aside
from a lack of gas nothing im-
mobilizes an automobile more
speedily than a few inches of
unplowed snow.
Obey the traffic signs — they
are" placed there for YOUR
SAFETY.
CROSSWORD
PUZZLE
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AH, ME — This Bassett hound isn't really as sad as he looks.
He is one of 280 puppies entered in the Hoosier Kennel Club's
annual puppy match,
111E FARM FRONT
Jolv.Thisseit
Although it is too early to be
sure of the ultimate result, the
deficiency payment system of
price 'support for eggs seems to
have brought production into a
more realistic relationship with
demand, A, D. Davey of the
Canada Department of Agricul-
ture, told United States poultry-
men recently.
The director of the depart-
ment's Poultry Division, spoke
to the Midwestern Regional
Convention of the American
Poultry and Hatchery Federa-
tion at Chicago in December.
* *
He described stabilization
policy in detail including the
old offer -to -purchase program
for eggs and the deficiency pay-
ment program which superseded
it in October, 1959.
Although each program as-
sures a minimum level per dozen
— the offer -to -purchase program
establishing a base and the de-
ficiency payment program an
average for the year — the form-
er program could result in high-
er returns to producers due to
the seasonal pattern of prices
above the base or average set,
The important feature of the a
deficiency payment program
is that it permits the product to
be sold at prices that more
truly reflect supply and demand
and gives less incentive to
production expansion. Produc-'
tion expansion became a very
serious problem as related to
the Canadian Stabilization pro-
gram for shell eggs,
* 4. 4,
It was decided to support the
price of eggs at. 33 cents per
dozen at the producer level, this
being comparable to the former
44 cents at wholesale level un-
der the old support -by -purchase
program. The deficiency pay-
ment would be equal to the
amount by which the national
average price received by pro-
ducers fell below the support
price over a 12 -month period,
starting Oct. 1, 1959. Payments
were limited to a mazimum of ..
4,000 'dozen Grade A Large
end Extra Large eggs marketed
by each registered producer in
that period.
4, * *
Mr. Davey said charges were
made that the large producer
was being discriminated against.
. The fact was the department had
to find a way of reducing the
average price of those producers
who, because of their large
scale and highly efficient opera-
tions, were mainly responsible
for the big increase in egg out-
put. By limiting the payments in
this way it was assured that
the total paid to the large pro-
ducers would not be enough to
raise significantly the average
price per dozen they received.
As the large-scale commercial
producers were the ones: who
had expanded most it followed
that they were least in need of
price support. On the other
hand, those who had the greatest
need — the small producers —
were given the largest measure
of support.
The quota eligible for defi-
ciency payment was related to
a flock of say 500 birds from
which would be marketed eight
dozen grade A Large size eggs
per bird per year, Some felt
that this basis was lo*, but after
one year of operation the pre-
liminary
records show that the
national average production per
bird is a fraction of one per
cent below the figure of eight
dozen eggs of this grade.
a *
Another 'criticism was that the
quota fixed would encourage the
small producer to expand up to
the limits for which he could
receive support and thus defeat
the very object in mind, In fact
the small producer had just as
much support under the offer-
-to -purchase program as he does
under the deficiency program
and if he had wanted, to expand
he could just as well have done
so under the old program, One
year's operation seems to bear
out this thesis, said Mr, Davey.
♦ * *
It was also claimed that the
decision to make a uniform de-
ficiency payment to producers
regardless of regional differences
was inequitable and that those
producers in lower market price
regions should get larger de-
ficiency payments. Such price
regions, said Mr. Davey, are the
result of differences in geo-
graphic location }p' relation 10
retail outlets, differences in
time of marketing and differ-
ences of bargaining skills, etc.
It was not intended that a price
support program should iron out
these normal differences which
have always existed.
Registration of producers was
essential to the success of the
price support program; Only
one registration was allowed for
each - flock although many in-
quiries were received from
families wishing to divide up
their. flocks to secure more than
one registration,
Russian Chickens
Not To Blame
Spurred by their ambition to
"surpass the captialist U.S," So-
.viet farms and factories are belt-
ing out everything from pigs to
pig iron. But somewhere, some-
one goofed: They forgot about
pillows.
A few weeks ago, Trade Min-
ister Dmnitri Pavolv announced
that there were only enough
feathers to meet 15 per cent of
the Soviet public's annual de-
mand for pillows. "He wasn't
telling Muscovites anything they
didn't know," cabled Newsweek's
Moscow bureau 'chief Whitman
Bassow, "Most Russian families
have to wait for at least a year
for new pillows. Some newly-
weds have been known to cut
pillows in two so that each can
have one. There is even a black
market, with peasants getting as
much as 5 rubles (about $8.50)
to snake up pillows on the sly.
'Yet even the black marketeers
have to wait cixx months—until
the chickens come through."
Are the chickens to blame?
Not at all, clucked the party
organ, Pravda. "It"s' the system."
In all of Moscow, said Pravda,
there's only one dilapidated pil-
low factory. It dries its feathers
in an open-air courtyard, and
when the wind blows—whoosh
go the feathers.
"We asked the Moscow Eco-
nomic Council for new drying
machinery," said factory director
Elena Novikova, "but they only
thumbed their noses at us."
What Russia needs to solve its
pillow shortage are some hard
heads,
Famous Manuscript
To Be Decoded
Surrounded by surplus mum-
mies
umroles shrouded in plastic bags,
10 r w e r th Edwards, birdlike
keeper of Egyptian antiquities at
the British Museum, began work
last week on a task which might
have shaken a more impression-
able soul. Ignoring the ominous
lore that surrounds things rifled
from tombs, he began decoding
a 22 -foot -long papyrus known as
a Book of the Dead, a kind of
passport to eternity buried with
Pharaohs, who extolled their vir-
tues to the God Osiris.
Because the superstitius donor,
Sir Archibald C. Campbell,
thought it unlucky to open .rt,
the scroll had languished un-
touched since 1874, when he
bought it from Egyptian grave
robbers, Not until the estate of
his daughter was settled last fall
did the museum receive the be-
quest.
After. unraveling 1 foot of the
wheat -colored papyrus, Egyptol-
ogist Edwards knew he had a
unique find. The papyrus be -
.longed to Pinudjem, a high
priest of the Pharaoh Siamun
(1000 to 984 B.C.), wnose
daughter was married to King
Solomon. It is an exceptionally
long Book of the Dead, written
in elegant hieratic character
script, rather than the more
complicated hieroglyphics usu-
ally found in such scrolls.
With scholarly restraint, Ed-
wards reported that the text is
"of great interest to scholars .. ,
But we don't expect any inside
information about palace skul-
duggery, harem intrigues,. ox
priestly treachery from this
scroll."
Upsidedown to Prevent Peeking
W V '7
0 fa'
UNDAY SC11OOI
JJjSSON
By Rev. It. B. Warren, ti,A.., 13,0,
Jesus' Authority Challenged
John 5: 9c - 24.
Memory Selection; Verily, vet *,
I say unto you, lie that healret8i
my word, and believeth on hili'
that sent me, bath everlasting
life, and shall not come into eon"
demnation; but is passed films
death unto life. John 5:24,
When Jesus performed a mir-
acle, discussion usually followed.
On this occasion the Jews cri-
ticized because the healing had
been performed on the Sabbath.
But first, let us look at the mir-
acle.
Jesus seeing this invalio of' 39
years, asked him if he willed to
be made whole, Of course he did,
That was why he was sitting by
this pool, But hope had well nigh
given way to despair. Jesus chal-
lenged him further, saying, "Rise,
take up they bed, and walk."
This called for resolution and
faith, He responded. He believed.
He undertook to do as the Lord
bade him and found he was able
to do so. Later, Jesus meeting
him in the temple gave him
warning, "Behold, thou art made
whole: sin no more, lest a worse
thing come upon thee "
The Jews first found fault be-
cause this man was carrying his
bed on the sabbath. If one is
against a cause, it takes a very
little thing to evoke criticism. We
need to carefully evaluate our
motives before we criticize. If it
is in order to rescue a sheep that
has fallen into a pit on the sab-
bath, surely it was in order to
heal this man and for him to take
his blanket with him. Jesus said
on another occasion, "The sab-
bath was made for man, and not
man for the sabbath: therefore
the Son of man is Lord also of
the sabbath."
What Jesus had done was in
keeping with the words of Isaiah,
(58:13,14) "If thou turn away
thy foot from the sabbath, from
doing thy pleasure on my holy
day; and call the sabbath a de-
light, the holy of the LORD, hon-
ourable; and shalt honour him,
not doing thine own ways, nor
speaking trine owls words; th-9ui
speakig thine own words: thou
shalt delight thyself in the Lord."
Many'people want to disregard
the Lord's Day and seek their
own pleasures. Promoters of
commercialized sport and theatre
owners want to make more
money. Communists are glad to
see a further weakening of the
worship attitude. We greatly
need a moving of God's Holy
Spirit that will move us to seek
the Lord and obey Him.
ISSUE 4 — 1961
DOUBLE TROUBLE — Identical twins Randy and Ricky Jones,
of Dallas, Tex,. fell hie •double trouble after Christmas. Each
was trying out a new set of roller skates. Within an hour each
had broken his arm:
FIRING SQUAD CHA-CHA — A gathering of followers of Fidel Castro chant "to the wall" in
Havana, demanding death for ,terrorists who set off bombs •r the city,
MOO