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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Seaforth News, 1953-01-15, Page 7E ea, PORTS UO1UM I it 9e4p4400. e Old Mr. 1952 hobbled into the room, leaning heavily on his cane, for the Old Boy was nearing the end, He looked at sprightly young Master 1953, nodded ap- preciatively and said: "Fine looking young ster. Seems sturdy, Me"d better be. It will be a tough year for hint." "What's so trtI1l pop:" queried the sprightly young+,l.'1'. "1'tn looking for a 1101 uld time in sport" lea be trig! , all right replied the Old Boy with sinister emphasis. ' Everyt ling was high in my time, particularly prices, You're a -carnia' 1 Ito a high year and a big year, boy," he said, "Tut open fot suggestions" said the yocng fe Mw. "What about the Grey Cup"? enquired the youngster. East is cast' staid Old 1952. -.rho east luta got tun many good players for he west. Them guys from the prairies are game. I'll give them flee. They ran take it, They'll spend their money, put on a great show hut the leans in the cast are like the Atlantic Ocean." "Flow come?" said the. youngster. "Depth, boy, depth" chortsed the Old l3oy, "'l•bcy git there fustest with the 111o51est.' "If I have my Way" said the youngster firmly, "They'11 play that Grey Cup as a two -game series in my time and give the west an even break. Or a three -game series, so everybody can get a look," "Take it easy, lad" advised the oldster. "You'll get yourself ostracized in the best Toronto social circles malting cracks like that." "The Stanley Cup's not fain off" said the youngster, "n lie do you figure for that?" The Old Man broke out with a crackling sound, raising the balance of his voice in what he meant to be song, "Pretty Little Red Wing" he sang in a cracked and feeble voice. "That's the Stanley Cup song, boy." ' "Pretty awful" commented the kid. "The song, I mean, not the sentiment. You said you figure it to be a big year in sport?" "Big fireside year" commented the oldster. "That new gadget they call television, tell your friends to look out for that. Folks that were payin' their way in will be look!n' at the same show right at home, for free, Human nature is they won't pay for what they can get for nothin ." "You had a great runner in your day, this fellow 7.atvapek" said young Master 1953. "Think we'll get a look at hint?" "Can you see through an iron curtain, boy? If you can, you can see Zatopek. Itc's in there. Remember the guy who saved Stalin's life?" °Why did he?" asked the kid, artlessly. "We all make mistakes" said the o'dster, as he prepared to vanish. "This guy was rewarded with any privilege he wished, so he asked the right to speak by telephone to his brother in New York. They limited him to one word." "What was thte word?" asked the youngster. • "Help 1" said the Old Boy, and vanished for keeps. Your comments and suggestions for this column will be welcomed by Elmer Ferguson, c/o Calvert House, 431 Yonge Sh, Toronto. Caty t DISTILLERS LIMITED AMHERST8ORG, ONTARIO Just 25 years ago—come the 4th of March — a man named Pyle cut loose with one of the anost highly publicized athletic events this ancient planet has ever seen. And when we tell you that Mr. Pyle was better known ma "Cash -and -Carry" and that the sports event referred to wap anostly called the "Bunion Der- by," some of you old-timers at Yeast will recall what a crazy era that was. Some of us are fond of saying that the kids of today are a lot goofier than their parents or grandparents were — but when we think of Mr. Pyle getting millions of dollars worth od newspaper space with a stunt /Ake this, we begin to have our doubts. Co kt Dance marathons were the rage of the country. A man nam- ed Cornelius Dumber walked backwards across the country end attributed his success to the fact that he always went bare- foot. The newspapers were afraid that the indestructible underpin- Iaings of Jack Dempsey seemed to lbe giving way at last. Dr. Em- merich Stabler, visiting from Vienna, told us to stand up more, because standing up was good for the arches and what was good for the arches was good for ialternational trade. It was the perfect moment in history for C. C. Pyle to step !falls For Hiroshima --Fashioned by Swiss craftsmen, the giant !sell above will soon be shipped to Hiroshima, Japan, where it will be installed in a mission athurch. Children of Lucerne, Switzerland, paid for the bell with money that they raised by holding paper tales, forth and give us the Bunion Derby, writes Sidney Carroll in a recent issue of "Pageant." Pyle was a remarkable fellow —a real, honest to goodness; gen- uine 1928 man. He was the son of a Methodist minister, but his roads had led him, if anything, in direction generally supposed to be opposite frons the pulpit. He had been a prize fighter, an actor, a manager of movie houses. His name was Charles C. Pyle but he gloried in the nickname "Cash and Carry" Pyle. He was a fast talker, a neat dresser, a cigar smoker and a butterfly - mustache man. He looked like a slicker in the silent movies, and he liked to act like one. "I play every year as though it were my last," he told the world, "Le- gitimately, but with a view to squeezing every penny from every venture." He was one of the great promoters of the Twen- ties, that epoch of great promo- ters. a s .1 People then were sitting on flagpoles, dancing non-stop for months at a stretch, and talking about flying across the Atlantic Ocean. But you would have to look long and hard to find a more cockeyed contribution to the culture of the time than Pyle's Bunion Derby. Some his- torians have seen it as one of the true climaxes of the Coolidge era, almost a symbolic thing — that spectacle of several hun- dred able-bodied men plodding across the great American desert, from west to east, counter to the sun, just as the sun was about to set on the Era of Wonderful Nonsense. W CO 1 It was .Mr. Pyle's conceit to run a marathon race from Los An- geles to New York. 5 ) n It would be, opined Mr, Pyle, not only the greatest but the longest foot race in history. It would be open to one and all— eutrants from Tibet, Tasmania and the Scandinavian countries included. The winner would be crowned with a laurel wreath in the manner of the old times and with a bank draft for $25,000 ies the manner of the new. Pyle called ft The Great Cross -Coun- try Marathon Race, but ottt of a newspaper somewhere came. the title "Bunion Derby," gild that Is the name that stuck. "The race of the Century!" cried. Mr. Pyle's tub -thumpers. "As. thrilling Spectacle of Drawn They Alt Got the Wishbone—Or so it would seem, from the pleased expressions on the faces of these effigies of world leaders, which are on display in a Parisian show window. The pro- prietor wistfully constructed the display to express his, and the world's, desire for international amity. From left: President-elect Dwight Eisenhower, Premier Joseph Stalin, Prime Minister Win" Ston Churchill and West Germany's president, Konrad Adenauer. and Endurance! A 65 -day show by the greatest runners in the world! And all free, absolutely free, ladies and gentlemen; it won't cost you a cent, and all due to the generosity of that philantlu'opic impresario, Cash and Carry Pyle!" " µ R !low did Mr. Plye figure to finance this "free" spectacle? In the first place he estimated that there would be about 1,009 entrants from all corners of the globe. Each entrant would be re- quired to put up a $25 entrance fee. Cash and Carry had his $25,000 first prize right there. a m 8 Second, he figured to receive $100,000 from the United States Highway 66 Association. This was a brotherhood of hamlets, towns, villages and cities on Route 66. Each membee of the association was to kick in with a sum proportionate to its popu- lation until a kitty of $100,000 could be assembled. Such a sum, he told the brotherhood, would be returned a thousandfold. Every town along the route was bound to make a mint! Think of the thousands of hinterlanders pouring into town to see the Bunioneers pass through! Think of the profits to the local shop- keepers! Think of the carnivals the townships could have! Think of the hot dog concessions. e 0 e (If any town along Highway 66 did not kick in with a contribu- tion, Plye said, he'd damn well see to it that his runners would run around the reluctant' town instead of through it.) A third source of income for Pyle would be a side show, trav- eling right alonf' with the derby. It would contain peanuts, pop- corn and freaks. And a box- office. Pyle's plan as to run his boys only during the ho'b's of daylight. He would divide them up into groups, with several doz- en runners each. Each group would be released and required to run from 40 to 60 miles a day — right up to the next town that had paid its part of the High- way 66 Association fund. When all groups had reached that re- quired destination by day's end, the time of the individual run- ners would be totaled up. The man who could maintain the swiftest average from clay to day clear across the country would be the winner. And every night when the running had ceased, Pyle could pitch his tent and all the people for mil around would nay to get in to see the runners as well as the freaks on display. The freaks were pretty good, too. One was a real live two -headed chicken. A ,) A fifth source of income for Pyle would be the manufactur- ers who would supply the shoes, the chewing gum, the running tights, the shoelaces, the sunburn lotion and, of course, the lini- ment—ani pay for the privilege. o 8 And a final source of income would be Mr. C. C. Pyle's own patent foot box. This was a kind of electrical box, big enough to contain one human foot plus ankle and to cure any malady thereof you can think of. All the runners would be using it en route and once the race vas over, Pyle figured, at least 100,000 Americans would be clamoring to purchase the miraculous box at the low, low price of $1 per. u ., Well, the derby started on schedule, on the 4th of March, 1928, from the Ascot Speedway in Los Angeles. The participants headed straight for the 0,422.3 miles that lay between them and WHEN PAIN STRIKES At the first twinge of rheumatic pain-- take ain—take Tenipieton's T -it -C's. Over tt toll - lion T -R. -C's used every month, for speedy relief from pain caused by rheu•• Pietism, arthritis, neuralgia lumbago and sciatica. Why ,suffer needlessly? keep T -R -C's on hand, and use them promptly. Only 65c, $1,35 at drug counters. T.842 New York. The start of this 6,023,248 -yard dash was festive and noisy, The runners were fresh as fields of daisies, and Los Angeles waved them off to a cheery start es they galloped away for fame, money, the High- way 66 Association and C. C. Pyle's Magic Foot Box. Co Only one feet dimmedthe splendor of that happy day. There weren't as many runners in the race as Pyle had expected. He had hoped for 1,000. There were only 199. But it was a good, fast field, a frisky set of runners. It included Charles Hart, a 63 -year-old mara- thon runner from England, one runner from Australia and one from Esthonia. r" a: "This is the greatest thing 1 have ever put over," puffed the exultant Pyle, "Its possibilities are untold!" ,a a ,, They ran and they ran. They ran through Needles, Arizona and Albuquerque, New Mexico. The newspapers began to call it the Cornplaster Sweepstakes, and the Flatfoot Festival and Pyle's Follies. They ran through Tulsa, Oklahoma and Springfield, Mis- souri. Somebody discovered that the two -headed chicken was a perfectly normal one -headed chicken with an extra head strap - pen on. Pyle found an Irish farm- er who was ossified from the neck down and made him the feature attraction of the freak show. The runners raced through dust and rain, sleet and slush. Then, one by one, like airplanes peeling off, they dropped out. Cramp and blisters and heat prostration and sheer exhaustion got them. They ran through Chi- cago. On the 28th of May the sur- vivors of the incredible grind limped into New York. The won- derful thing about it; as Dr. Johnson said about the perform- ing dog, was not how it was done, but that it got done. e r .F Another wonderful thing was the winners got their money. First prize went to Andy Payne, an Indian boy from Oklahoma. Second prize of $10,000 went to John Salo, of Passaic, New Jer- sey. Third prize of $5,000 went to Phillip Granville of Ontario, Canada. Fourth place was $2,500 and went to Mike Joyce, a bar- tender from Cleveland. There were six consolation prizes of $1,000 each. It was Pyle's plan, as a grand climax to the marathon, to fill Madison Square Garden with a cheering, stamping, pay- ing throng—the final source of revenue for the derby en route. The great Tex Rickard was there in person that night to present the prizes. But not even Rickard could attract the customers. In that whole vast arena there were no more than a few dozen spec- tators to see the winners receive their laurel wreaths and their money. It was a sad but suitable finale to the fiasco, for fiasco it had been—from first to Last. Nothing had turned out the way Pyle had planned. He had figured the race would take 64 days; it took 84. The fights and the fueds along the way among the runners, as well as the salar- ied employees, would have de- stroyed the constitution of a less- er man. The freak show had been a flop everywhere. Nobody would buy the Magic Foot Box. Pile Sufferers Get Quick Relief When the Itch, burn end nrdu et piles keens you awake nt night, drives atm almost frantic be lin)'—go 10 any drug store end get n. pucka,, of Len.Ohrl. Hee how fast tide snow-utdte, ulrtisentle Motmest coals the fiery burning, reflecee Itching, soothes Pain. Vag get relief In one minute by the ,,at,(,. Oro entitle* Gan area bourn of comfort. OeL Lem hint right now at any drug More, Enough to keep yon happy several Weeks, only 59C. ISSUE 3 — 1953 People were suin'g Pyle for the most unbelievable things. One plaintiff, an Illinois farmer, claimed that one runner had slaughtered one of his prize pig- lets and then digested it, raw, while running, ■ a a Pyle always claimed he made money on the derby. The kindest estimates put his losses at about $75,000. He claimed that fifteen million Americans had seen his derby. That is within the realm of possibility, but it is no indi- cation of the gate receipts be- cause most of the spectators saw it ---just as Pyle had promised them—for free, They had seen it simply by looking up from the plowing and taking a look. Easy Car Parking More cuss words have probably split the air in regard tp parallel parking than any other driving maneuver present day rnotorietg have to perform. Each driver seems to have ha own formula for the job, But for those who do it by guess and by gum, the following may prove helpful. Pull up parallel to the car ahead of the parking space, pre- ferably one foot and mot mora than two feet away from 11. Stop when your rear bumper is even with his. Then back slowly, swinging the ;steering wheel as far right as pos- sible. When your front seat even with the other car's rear bumper, straighten your front wheels, backing slowly, As your right front whew comes opposite the other car's rear wheels, start turning the steering wheel to the left. When clear of other car's rear bumper, quickly complete turn of your Steering wheci to the left as far as it will go. Back on in. This should align you properly. I1 your car is not quite square with the curb, pull up a bit until aligned. Stop in centre space, Follow the instructions, add r bit of luck, and you'll find your- self right in the centre every time with DO damage to curb, rubber, or the fenders on either car. IN REVERSE Robert Sherwood was button- holed on the way to a rehearsal by a wavering gentleman, exud- ing the delicate fragrance of cheap bourbon, who demanded, "Hey, where'sh Alcoholics An°. nymoush?" "You want to join?" asked Sherwood incredulously. "Heck, no," reared the other. "I want to resign." ..Classified Advertising.. GARY 0(dung DEALERS wanted to sell baby chicks and turkey mutts for one of Canada's eldest aetabllehed and largest hatcheries. Liberal tomtlselons paid. Feed dealers, farmers, Implement dealers, agents for nurnoriee, cream truck drivers, and other dealers make excellent agents. Send for full details. Box No. 87, 128 Eighteenth St„ New Toronto, Ont. 011DER those Purina embryo.fed ektoks front Gilmore's. Fully guar a n teed, quality chicks from a real breeding pro- gramme. 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